She checked the machine for what felt like the hundredth time. How these people with super-speed always managed to take so long was beyond her. Everything was still in order, it was not like the last few seconds would have made any real difference to the tech. This inability to stay still for any significant amount of time was brought on by the combination of boredom and weary anticipation. She had no hesitation when it came to helping Sam, that was not what had her fiddling with calibrations and looking over all the old scans. Coming face to face with Sam at full strength again could set her off in any number of ways and acting out while Sam was feeling so vulnerable could be detrimental to her significant progress. She could only hope her troubled mind would behave itself.
She stepped away from the machine, fidgeting with her hands and taking deep breaths. She tried to find comfort in the lab, this particular one was an underground complex for her personal projects. Few people knew it existed and only she had full control of who could enter. The lack of any natural light seldom bothered her as the bright bulbs and reflective panelling gave the room a shine that she liked to work in. Lena had been meticulous in keeping everything sterile. It was standard practice, but her recent work with Kryptonite had made her paranoid that even the slightest speck could be catastrophic. Superman had provided some Kryptonite for her in the hope it could produce something to combat the World Killers and give Kara a chance to be free of the ring. It was a short-lived idea, for whatever reason Sam's biology was radically different to the average Kryptonian. Anything Lena produced would be no more effective than regular weapons. The only additional feature they would have would be a menacing, but ultimately pointless, green tint. It was upsetting that it did not provide an easy answer to the World Killers, though the discovery of Kryptonite's relative uselessness had been a stark relief. Even having done it before, developing weapons never sat right with her.
She considered packing up the various beakers and equipment that was lying around. There was even a mug here or there, all sat clean and unused. The intention to get a drink for herself always got interrupted by her work, sometimes she would work for hours on end without realising she was hungry until the lab coat came off. It was common occurrences like this that destroyed any effort she would have had to put equipment away after she cleaned it. There was a time she considered bringing Kara in as a lab assistant. Giving her something to do in the breaks she felt forced to take and an excuse for Kara to spend less time alone would have been ideal. Kara had not seemed to have minded about the Kryptonite. It was her work primarily involving Sam that made it too much of a risk. She doubted Kara would completely lose control, but Lena feared for the lives of her innocent lab equipment.
A buzz faintly rung around the space. This alarm only went off if someone had been loitering outside the entrance for long enough. The only way through was to have Lena's thumbprint. An unmarked door in an obscure corridor on the ground floor of an L-Corp research facility had the privilege of largely being ignored. She made a point of checking the monitor to see who was waiting. Ninety nine percent of the time it was who she was expecting but she had been caught out once. Having been distracted by her work she had emerged without checking and come across a startled employee who had only been looking for a quiet part of the building. It turned out he had been hiding from his ex who also worked here. Luckily enough he had been too distracted by his relationship worries and the CEO of his company suddenly chatting to him to question why Lena had appeared from an inconspicuous basement door. As the monitor flickered to life she saw that this time it was indeed Clark and Sam waiting patiently. She made a mental note not to call him Superman at any point, the multiple identities thing was exhausting to put up with, she dreaded to think what it was like to live it.
She pressed her thumb against a scanner and the doors opened, there was a small stairwell down to the lab itself and Lena could hear the two sets of footsteps echoing down.
"Evening," Clark said.
"Welcome back," she said. Sam walked beside him, she said nothing and seemed absent. She had plaited her red hair back in a long ponytail. It swung gently from side to side as they reached the last step. Lena's nerves only flared up slightly, being in her own lab and having Clark around made the whole experience a little easier.
"So, do you want me to talk through what will happen or do you just want to go for it?" Lena said, eyeing the machine from across the room. Sam let out a long and loud breath.
"Let's just get this done," she said. Lena was quietly relieved she could focus entirely on the task at hand. Her lab coat fluttered behind her as she strode over to the machine. With a press of a button the platform extended from the cylindrical chamber.
"Lie down on here," Lena said. Clark had taken up the role of keeping Sam comfortable which allowed Lena to look everything over unhindered. The hundreds of moving parts and small mechanical arms sprang to life, all visible through the transparent casing at the top. It self-diagnosed all its own joints and operations. It was a process Lena had already checked far too many times, but she wanted to look busy as Clark helped Sam onto the platform.
"We're right here with you," he said. They both knew it was not the procedure itself that had Sam so on edge, but Clark had a way of speaking that could put you at ease no matter what he said.
"Stay as still as you can," Lena said. Sam nodded and swallowed hard. Lena flicked a switch and Sam's platform retracted into the chamber. Red light glowed out and bounced around the lab's white walls, these scanners tracked Sam's position and took biological readings. The mechanical parts got to work shortly after. Lena watched the diagnostic readings in case she had to step in. The moving parts whirred away, adjusting to even the slightest movement from Sam. Sam was breathing heavily, even with the transparent panels it could be claustrophobic in that tube. Small mechanical arms pressed a joint against Sam's shoulder, it covered the uneven stump and provided a base for the prosthetic itself to attach too. Sam winced as it was clamped in place and dozens of needle-like tendrils adjusted it to an ideal fit. These needles retracted and more small arms took their place, they tested the security of the attachment and scanned to make sure all the elements had been implanted correctly. Everything looked to be in order and the machine's displays were showing ideal readings.
"We're halfway there," Lena said, Sam gave a hesitant nod and Lena initiated the second phase. The rest of the arm lifted out from a compartment beneath the machine and more mechanical claws dragged it closer to Sam's new shoulder joint. There was a series of clicks as it was pushed in and twisted into place. Sam had a distant look on her face, probably trying to zone out from the sounds and unpleasant sensations this machine was inflicting on her. A series of unsettling bolting noises shot out from the tube as all the miniature claws and tools attached the arm. The last few testing arms returned to prod at the seals and joints, satisfied, they pulled away and disappeared into the machine's various compartments. One final scan glowed at Sam before it powered itself down and provided Lena with an overview. The machine was happy with itself, claiming a negligible margin of error. Sam did not seem to be experiencing any pain or nausea. Lena extended the platform back out and Sam quickly sat herself up, planting her feet firmly on the ground. Lena could not help but smile at what she saw, the sight of sharp equipment drilling away so close to someone was nothing compared to the smile on Sam's face. She was overtaken with awe as she admired the new arm. She stretched out her fingers at twisted the it back and forth to take in the full extent of the sleek design.
"It feels just like the real thing," Sam said, unable to take her eyes off her hand as she continued to move it around. Clark looked equally impressed. Relieved nothing had gone wrong with the machine or her own concentration, Lena let them admire the arm and grabbed a wayward mug from a nearby worktop. She filled it with water and held it out for Sam, who instinctively reached for it with her natural arm.
"Don't you want to try out the new one?" Lena said, glancing down at it. The jet-black materials were in stark contrast with Sam's white skin. Neither her or Doctor Dyer had found an organic looking covering that did not compromise its functionality. Sam looked to Clark, who gave her a thumbs up. She grabbed the mug by the handle and took a sip, the movement was natural and clean. Alex Danvers' regular check-ups with her own prosthetics had provided much more data and efficiency in the calibration process.
Sam could not control her smiling as she fiddled with the mug, she laughed slightly as she threw it up a few centimetres and caught it. Her mood was infectious as Clark and Lena grinned away as well. The anxieties she felt drifted away at seeing the elation.
"I'll need to run a few more tests, but you can be out of here soon," Lena said. She tried to hide it, but Sam's face dropped slightly.
"Will it take long?" Clark said.
"The scans don't show any errors and her fine motor control seems to good, it shouldn't be long at all" she said.
"That's great, I'll give Superman a call to give me a lift back to Metropolis. Once I get the green light from you we can talk to Ruby about moving back to National City," he said, smiling toward Sam. She forced and enthusiastic look back that promptly disappeared when he turned away. Lena escorted him to the door, scanning her thumb to let him out. She walked with him up the first few steps, waiting for the sound-proofed doors to close behind her before speaking up for any prying ears.
"Are you sure you want to get Ruby involved so quickly? Sam still seems a bit doubtful," she said.
"I don't think it will take long living with Ruby again to push those doubts away, but I see your point," he said, scratching his chin.
"I'll talk to her as I do the final few checks, then I'll let you know one way or the other," she said.
"Are you alright being so personal with her on your own?" Clark asked.
"I can manage," Lena said.
"You're sure you don't want me to stay, I could wait in this stairwell?" He said.
"I know how I can be around her. But I think that's the very reason I'm the best one to talk to her. If I can stay calm it'd put her at ease," she said. Clark nodded slowly.
"I'll wait for your call," he said going up the last few stairs. He turned back one last time "By the way, moments like this are why I'm honoured to work with you, your strength in your convictions is something to be proud of."
"Thank you?" Lena said, unsure of what brought this on. Clark chuckled.
"Didn't mean to spring that on you, but I've always found that you shouldn't leave the positives unsaid," he said. With a smile and a nod, he disappeared up the stairs. She looked back to the door below. That anxiety that had mercifully faded away started to claw its way back into her mind. She did her best to shake it off and wasted no time in stepping through.
"So… tests?" Sam said. She was still sitting on the machine's platform.
"Tests." Lena said.
"Is it really this simple, a few minutes and I'm back out there," she said, watching her fingers as she stretched them out again.
"Well it's been a month of building up to it," Lena said.
"I guess," Sam said. Prodding at her new arm. Lena wheeled over a slab of concrete set up between to clamps. She puffed away, even with slick wheels, pushing it along was hard work. As she set it up in a padded testing area Sam gave her a concerned look.
"What's this?" She asked. Lena took a moment to catch her breath.
"Something I prepared earlier. We need to test the upper limits of that arm as well," Lena said. Sam stood up, eyeing the concrete slab suspiciously. Lena took a pair of safety glasses out of her pocket, handing them to Sam before pulling out a pair for herself.
"Upper limits…" Sam said, staring at the arm once again. "It feels wrong to just be given my strength back like this." There was a slight wobble in her voice.
"If we'd given you an arm with human strength you'd have had less control, the balance would feel unnatural and you would have a hard time controlling how much force to use," Lena said.
"You know that's not what I meant," Sam said. Lena tensed up, even being fully aware a conversation like this would happen did little to quell her stress.
"That wasn't you," Lena said, Sam sighed.
"I guess."
"Do you even remember what happened, was Reign ever really a part of who you really are?" Lena said.
"No… yes… I don't know, there are flashes," Sam said.
"Well was whatever you remember a conscious decision?" Lena said, already knowing the answer.
"No, but I was there for it all. Just because I don't remember it, doesn't make me innocent," she said.
"Tell me what you know, what you saw," Lena said, hoping that getting her to really think back would help her realise it was not her fault.
"Apart from the occasional image here and there I don't properly remember any of it, the first thing I do remember was a lot of red, my body feeling like it was on fire, I'm one arm down and looking up at Superman," she said. Lena's throat was threatening to close up as the thoughts of Reign flooded her own mind. The mild pain was stuck there as she refused to let her voice crack.
"You don't remember it because it wasn't you, I've seen the scans and checked the data, whatever happened to you was out of your control. You can't hold yourself responsible," she said. Sam's shoulders slumped and she stared at the concrete slab.
"I guess I can't find the same comfort in science and theory that you do," she said. It was not easy to hear, she knew exactly where Sam was coming from but could not say it. All her knowledge did nothing to help her own irrational stress and fear. Even saying it out loud did nothing to dissuade these feelings when they came about. Lena cleared her throat again, not wanting to show any of her doubts to Sam.
"I'm here to help you, as are many others. We all want you to know it's okay to forgive yourself," Lena said. Sam's mouth pouted to the side. There was a long bout of silence as Sam wrestled with her own thoughts.
"So, what am I doing with this concrete slab?" Sam said. Lena hoped this was her first step toward acceptance.
"Punch it with the new arm, as hard as you can," she said. Sam squared up to it, the look of doubt still plaguing her face. With a violent burst her fist crashed through it, shattering it easily. Shrapnel was sent flying into the test area and the clamps that had been holding it in place bent back. Several displays lit up with sensor readings as the rubble skimmed against the floor and smaller pieces rolled to a stop at the sides. Sam held her arm out in place, staring at her clenched fist.
"I'd call that a success," Lena said. The aggressive stance Sam was in and the loud crashing made Lena want to freeze as her internal anguish ran rampant. She bit down hard on the inside of her mouth to keep herself in the moment.
"This kind of power around my daughter… it scares me," Sam said, she did not look away from her fist as she spoke. Lena told herself to breath and keep a brave face, Sam was going through just as hard a time as she was. It was a gargantuan effort to hide the stress going through her mind, but right now Sam needed her. She walked up to Sam, took her by the hand and sat her down on one of the stools.
"The tests can wait, let's just talk," Lena said. She got her phone out, she wanted to let Clark know she would be a while longer. She unlocked the screen, there was a text from Kara.
"Oddball isn't here" it read. She looked back to a distraught Sam. She sent back a quick reply with mildly trembling thumbs. Despite indirectly causing Lena's pain, there was a solidarity between her and Sam. Both were dealing with traumatic experiences caused by Reign. Lena pulled up next to her in the hope she could ease some of that pain.