Waiting for Alex in her cluttered apartment was bad enough, but now her floorboards suffered even more pacing with so much to think about. The encounter lingered in her mind, Bleez was different to how she expected. Until now, Red Lanterns were supposed to be nothing more than chaotic and angry monsters. Even with her outburst, the way Bleez presented herself and spoke was in jarring contrast to how they had been described to her. It dawned on her how little she knew about the Corps she unwittingly joined. While there was no reason to believe everything she said, it would be worth spending more time with her to find out just how the others operated and if any were trustworthy. It was already apparent they were not a homogenous, united group. She briefly entertained the idea of asking Hal more in-depth questions. She bobbed her head to the side, mildly amused at the likely outcome of rocking up and asking if the Red Lanterns were not all so bad. With his apparent grudge against them, it would likely end badly regardless. The possibility of Alex asking him for her sprung to mind, though her view was as likely skewed as Hal's. Alex had never accepted her decision to keep the ring and it felt like she would merrily blame just about anything on the Red lanterns. It was that attitude that sparked her encroaching dread whenever she agreed to meet with her. They had tried a few times before to smooth things out, it always ended the same way. Awkward small talk would build up tension and either Alex's aggravation from not addressing the issue became unbearable or Alex would break, starting off the same circular argument. Even after these spats, Lena kept encouraging her to work something out with her.
She never really settled, constantly walked between the rug and the smooth kitchen area. She glanced up at her clock every few seconds as the arrival ticked ever closer. She weaved between the mess in her apartment knowing there was at least some satisfaction that this sense of dread was all her own and not the ring's direct influence. She had to take little victories like that. A few minutes before that arrival time, she checked herself in the mirror. No disguises, no glasses, just a loose shirt and tracksuit bottoms, she hoped the casual look would disarm Alex a bit. This casual version of Kara was slowly being chipped away by the ring, she had a strong feeling Alex could sense that.
Footsteps echoed in the hall outside, the confident thudding of her approaching sister was unmistakable. Kara opened the door slightly ajar and took a seat on her sofa. She watched Alex's final few steps, when she got to the door she noticed it was already open. Alex made a quick decision to just push it open and walk in instead of knocking. Kara stood up and forced a smile as her sister came toward her. One awkward hug later and they were facing each other on the sofa.
"Your arm control seems to get better every time," Kara said.
"Yeah," Alex said, glancing aside. Kara already felt like she was running out of things to say, she was annoyed at herself at missing saying hello to fill up even a few seconds more. After clearing her throat and an eternity of silence, more babble popped into her head.
"Will you be able to go back in the field soon?" She said. Alex met her eyes for a split-second and sighed, Kara could already sense she was holding back.
"Lena and her associate says they're satisfied, but J'onn's reluctant. He says one involuntary twitch of my trigger finger at the wrong time and… well you get the idea," she said.
"It doesn't sound like J'onn not to trust your judgement on something like this," she said.
"Normally I'd agree, but the Guardians of the Universe won't leave us alone. With Mon-El…" A brief flare of burning pain shot into Kara's head, she closed her eyes hard and shook it off. Alex stopped herself after seeing the reaction that name got, but Kara beckoned her to continue.
"With him still missing, the Daxamite issue isn't put to rest. The D.E.O. is under a microscope and J'onn doesn't want to take any risks," Alex finished.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Kara said.
"Yeah well… it's hard on all of us. Pair the constant hounding from the Green lanterns and the fact you're not with us anymore, it's making us an easy target," Alex said, failing to hide the disdain in her voice. Kara took a deep breath and let the ring's reaction pass. She struggled to think of a topic of conversation that was neither too mundane or too inflammatory, it was a gargantuan task to skate that line.
"Well I stopped a guy in Metropolis armed with some sort of Kryptonite gun recently, hopefully that ticks off a problem on the D.E.O.'s list," she said, the ring seemed to squeeze at her finger with the attempts to keep things light.
"Bloodsport. I saw your handiwork. His jaw was hardly attached to his skull," Alex said, raising an eyebrow. Kara said nothing, now was not a good time to mention Bleez. Instead she just cleared her throat again. Alex's eyes narrowed slightly, but she seemed to catch herself.
"But yes, it's good we have him now, he managed to get that gun from raiding one of our trucks. Once his jaw heals, I can get more info on the other missing equipment." Alex looked around, snatching eye contact and pulling away every so often as she spoke. Eventually she gave up and looked around.
"I don't think I've ever seen this place so messy," she said. Broken lenses were still sitting by her miserable, dead glasses. Various books and failed distractions were strewn around the floor, the symptoms of a restless mind.
"I didn't realise the D.E.O. even had any Kryptonite to steal," Kara said, still trying to push the conversation forward.
"After Superman's encounter with silver Kryptonite he let us into his stash, he said there had to be a contingency if something like that happened again," she said.
"Is that why you tried to weaponize it?" Kara said, she was genuinely intrigued. Alex looked at her in disbelief.
"You think that's the reason we're experimenting with Kryptonite?" Alex said, her annoyance was picked up by the ring.
"I was just asking," Kara said.
"The World Killers, Kara. We're doing everything we can to prepare for them, how could you forget that?" Alex said, her temper was rising. Kara rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to will away a building headache.
"Right yeah. Well if it'll free you up some time, Lena already looked into Kryptonite. She said its effects on them would be negligible," Kara said. Alex glared at her in disbelief, her expression was hardening.
"What's the problem now?" Kara said, unable to keep her voice calm. Walking this conversational tightrope was wearing at her concentration.
"You or Lena didn't think to share this information? I'm… We're doing everything we can to come up with a defence against them and it just slips your mind?" Alex said, standing up. Kara rose with her.
"Lena doesn't tell me much, says it's for my own sake. Hell, I didn't even know the D.E.O. were experimenting with Kryptonite, why is it such a big deal?" She said. Alex was fuming, Kara's blood began to heat up.
"Because if we find something to fight them then we can get that bloody ring off of you and I'll have my sister back," Alex said, raising her voice. Kara felt the ring's energy excite, she clenched her fists and sucked air in through her teeth.
"I don't want to do this again, Alex," she said slowly.
"Maybe I do, I'm scared for you and you always make out like I'm overreacting," Alex said.
"I don't need your protection. What I need is your support," Kara said, immediately regretting it when she saw Alex's face drop.
"You think I don't care? You keep expecting me to support something that could crush your spirit or kill you?" Alex said. In a flash of red, Kara let out a shout and kicked a stray book across the room. She hit it with such force that she took a chunk of the floor out with it. Even with a soft cover, the wall cracked around the impact. The book bounced off and hit the floor with a light patter, flakes of paint gently drifted down after it. She could not bear to look at Alex, instead breathing heavily and staring at her newly damaged wall. Silence took over the space, only the background noise of the city drifted in. Neither of them moved.
Kara did her best to wind herself down, she hated being like this with her sister. Alex's tenacity was usually inspiring, but her inability to let things be drove this wedge between them that was a nightmare to get over.
"Should I go?" Alex said, it was a surprisingly meek response for how things usually went. Kara released all the air in her lungs through her nose. Through the ring's white noise, she heard Lena's voice telling her that they only want what's best for her.
"No, I don't want to leave things like this… not again," she said. Alex slumped back down to the sofa.
"Why does it have to be like this?" Alex said, staring off into the distance. Kara allowed herself some more time to cool down and the ring's shouts to sink back into the hum. Her back was to Alex, she did not turn when she finally spoke.
"It's hard for all of us, I hate all this waiting around… but it's how things are. We just have to do our best to deal with it," she said.
Kara could hear Alex flexing her mechanical fingers as she fidgeted on the sofa. She turned to her.
"It works both ways, as my older sister I know you've always wanted to look out for me," Kara sat down and took her hands "but I can't let something like this happen to you again. If I'm not strong enough everyone will suffer and that'll be on me."
Alex looked conflicted, still unhappy with the situation. However, the fact they were no longer shouting at each other seemed like a minor victory.
"So what now, we have some tea and pretend none of this is happening?" Alex said.
"If there's anything we've achieved over the past few weeks, it's proving that we're bad at that," Kara said. She picked up the book she had kicked, chuckling slightly as she looked at it.
"What?" Alex said, almost sounding worried. Kara tossed it to her. Alex looked down at it and a small smile came across her face.
"The Little Book of Calm." She said. For a moment, Kara felt a weight on her shoulders, but she ignored it and went over to her kettle.
"The tea is a good start, but I don't want to end up arguing again," Kara said.
"I'll leave if it'll make things easier," Alex said. Kara did not want to admit it to herself, but it was the option she wanted to take most of all.
"No, you just got here." She paused to think, desperately wanting to make this work in some way. "I'll invite Lena round, she might share some other findings with you and distract us from ourselves."
Alex gave a noncommittal grunt, it was all the approval she needed. She sent Lena a message, neglecting to mention Alex's presence. A reply that she would be right over came through quickly. There was a slight lull in the hum in the reassurance Lena was on her way. She looked back to Alex, unsure whether to fill the time between now and Lena's arrival with silence or more uncomfortable small talk.