I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do. Rated R raw humor, language, Lemon
It's Halloween time hell month and war again it's every man for himself as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru get an extremely early start on their Halloween dog war which of all places starts in the kitchen. Inuyasha is unexpectedly caught in a very compromising situation and position. Sorry peeps having problems I uploaded chap 3 but can't see it here tried again, please tell me if you can see it? Thanks. Complete one shot. Edited extended Oct 6 2020. Written for Halloween 2015, Inuyasha Kagura, Sessh/Kag
Happy Freakin Halloween 2
By Raven 2010
Halloween sniping and kitchen horror
Someone one had plans it was late all was quiet and best of all no one was around so it would be free sailing without interruptions. The person quietly and stealthily snuck out of their room easing the door shut headed for the stairs and began creeping down the steps eagerly headed toward they're chosen location. After a few seconds all movement came to an abrupt halt when something was heard
"The fuck, do I look like a hotdog to you?" Inuyasha bit after he had mustard squirted on him from head to foot "Buy a brain dumbass,"
"If it looks like a dog than one must dress it as such," Sesshoumaru replied "Woof,"
"Oh really you think so do you? My favorite little wenchling"
"Little brother I only responded to your silent call that said I am naked dress me," the elder of the two responded "We wouldn't want you to catch a cold, now would we?"
"Is that so? Kay"
"I will shred you," Sesshoumaru snapped when Inuyasha did the same to him with catchup "Your blood will stain the floors red this night,"
"Hah, well Sukimaru sama don't go having your period all over the floors and they won't get stained," the younger needled "One wimp you started it and two and most importantly you can dish it out but can't take it wuss, wuss, wuss. Damn never thought I'd live to see the day that I'd see a six foot four hotdog gotta send out invites hey neighborhood kids free hotdog banquet come and get it,"
"Wimp you claim," was Sesshoumaru's only response then
"Ahhhhh," the hanyou shrieked "Bastard ice water, are you trying to murder my innocent harmless Sausage and sweet rolls? Oh my babies talk to me boys tell daddy you're alright" are you okay? He said looking down his pants to check the triplets "Are you trying to kill us?
"Hm" Sesshoumaru responded "It is not they I have a problem with it is their immature puppy owner. And I am just trying to keep the nearing rancidness meat fresh,"
"That's it is that all ya got lord high and mighty his g string is to tighty he can't even last the nighty?"
"I think it is more than enough," was the taiyoukais smug reply "You six foot rancid tube steak,"
Meanwhile with an observer
"At it already," their hiding observing father mumbled "My babies he calls his male treasures hilarious ,"
"Yawn, I came down for a glass of water and heard a commotion, inupapa what's going on?" Kagome asked
"Well my dear it seems my sweet little puppies decided to get an early start on their Halloween war this year, a very early start," Sugimi answered
"Oh no, they usually start one or two weeks before Halloween but this is new October first way far ahead" when did they start?
"Imagine my shock and surprise when it began exactly at midnight," the elder inu answered "Game on,"
"Ah let me guess Inuyasha started it by putting salt in Sesshy's juice or something else?"
"Nope surprisingly for the first time in all the years of their Halloween wars fluffy sama started it,"
"Hah what, you mean I'm a bad boy but I am always a good dog Sesshoumaru started it? Wow" the shocked miko exclaimed "Sweet"
"Indeed my good dog has gone bad refreshing change" yes? Sugimi was immensely enjoying this new turn of events
"Hell yeah, hehehe Inuyasha looks like a giant hotdog,"
"Yes a new brand known as the hanyou hell dog," he replied "The all claws and fangs variety,"
Back with the brothers
"I see" Inuyasha said
"Vermin"
"Oops, why fluffy better get a pad looks like somebodies having a heavy flow this month," the hanyou gloated after pouring red liquid over Sesshoumaru's head that Kagome assumed was fake blood from the joke shop "Very heavy" should I call an ambulance?
"Prepare for evisceration mangy neko," Sesshoumaru growled with one hand extended elongated claws ready to swipe at his brother "I hate you and I am about to fulfill my lifelong dream of your death and the benefits of being an only pup,"
Bang, bang, bang "Let me out you can't do this," two voices wailed
"I'm killing you believe it," Inuyasha barked
"Of course you know this is all your fault, right?" Sesshoumaru said "As usual,"
"Really who poured the gasoline lit then threw the match? Inuyasha shot back "Sessh-arsonist-maru Taisho,"
"Die" Sesshoumaru snapped then tried using his deadly claws "Ow, ow, ow," he yelped 'Son of a,"
"Ooo Sesshy nearly swore. Aw did somebody bang his tender knuckles on?" the taunting hanyou started
"Silence fool,"
"Ah go chew your toe nails and call it a manicure, and don't forget to swallow em we don't need tiny Sesshy critters running around," Inuyasha retorted "Sessheen the drama queen,"
"Let me out," both brothers bellowed "I'll kill you,"
"Yeah I'll kill you borrow Sesshoumaru's sword resurrect then kill you all over again, "Inuyasha bit
"How's the fit boy's?" Sugimi taunted "Nice clubhouse, hah? And FYI I just had it renovated to" isn't it cozy? He added in a dreamy tone of voice sounding all moon eyed "If you two get cold you can always cuddle feel the love,"
"Cuddle" the two shrieked "Eew gross,"
"When I'm outta here ya geezer you die" got that d-e-a-d dead? Inuyasha snapped
"Usually I rarely agree with little brother but this is one time I do," Sesshoumaru added "Senile old codger" fifty, fifty split lil bro?
"Deal" the younger agreed "The older the bone the better the flavor and he's older than time," Sesshoumaru snickered
"Really, after what you two flea breeding factories just did? Sugimi replied "The bloodiest mass slaughter would pale in comparison and could not top it," two growls were music to his ears they always did hate the fleas crack
"What did I do? I didn't do anything" the two griped
"Really boys, rewind your short circuited brains and replay the last thing you two fools did?" Sugimi answered "And you Sesshoumaru should thank your dear sweet loving little brother for your current predicament,"
"Vermin you will die," Sesshoumaru snapped "Consider yourself cat food for all the neko demons,"
"Who started it princess?" Inuyasha shot back "I'd say look in a mirror but it broke from your ugliness the last time,"
While they continued bickering
"Inupapa you are so evil, hehehe," laughing Kagome said
"Why thank you my dear I'm just a loving dog who aims to please in sadistic ways,"
"Really Madusa-yasha? Nearly turned herself into stone the last time you looked in a mirror which is why you cannot have or use any mirrors"
"Stow it fluffy cuddles," Inuyasha snapped "Oops sorry forgot it's fluffy muddles,"
"Damn you to hell when I am free I am going to shove that infernal nick name of yours so far up your back door you'll be taking a crap standing on your head," Sesshoumaru bit "Better start learning to center your aim properly,"
"Ooooo, nasty," Kagome whispered to their sire "Great burn hah?
"Yes who knew fluffy had a dark side I like it," Sugimi added
"I'd like to see you try lord loveless," Inuyasha retorted "Overdosed on bitch pills did we?"
"Good one," Kagome said
"Bitch pills overdose poison arrow shot nice," Sugimi exclaimed
"I will not try fool because it will be done, I sincerely hope you had an ounce of brains forethought good sense and decency to make out your will," Sesshoumaru shot back
"You did gee fluffy who knew you were so considerate" so who gets your truck load sized secret stash of deluxe rose scented Kotex pads and Midol? Oh yeah let's not forget the 7 crates of makeup, puddin pop,"
"Now, now little Natasha oops sorry I mean little brother envious because I'm much prettier than you?"
"Well mouth set on high suction Sakura sucks a lot if you'd stop wearing all that makeup you'd look like a real man ,"
"Wanda wets a lot wouldn't you like to but never will know what I like to suck I will say this once you pull the sides back the treat is sweet and tasty slurp,"
"Pull the sides back? Does he mean? Wide eyed guessing Sugimi said questioningly
"Inupapa are you thinking what I am? Grinning Kagome replied
"Yeah we didn't need to know you eat butt," Inuyasha insulted
"Nope nice try lil sis, but while you're at it how did Jakotsu's magic chocolate chute taste?"
"Cough, holy shit," Kagome exclaimed
"Wow my rated R eldest continues to amaze me," Sugimi said
"Sesshoumaru is a freak who knew? Kagome replied
"I bid you good night boys," Sugimi said "Sleep well,"
"Nooooooo, let us out," they howled
"Yeah of all places in here" what's wrong with you? This is overboard even for you" Inuyasha bit "And why in here? Sick old geezer"
"Damn you, it is thanks to you that we are in here to begin with," Sesshoumaru snapped "Ow, bastard son of a fucking bitch," the never cusses inu bit "When we're released I'm calling Jakotsu you need a mate,"
"Aw did lord tickles in his attempt to slug me bang his dainty delicate fragile little lady knuckles on the refrigerator shelf again? Inuyasha taunted "Damn there goes you're Stella's salon manicure" you do know that joint is for girls only right?
"Fuc," Sesshoumaru started
"Shhhhh don't speak or think just feel," Inuyasha badgered "Just feel the ecstasy,"
"I do not need a salon aimless Amos when I have your hide to file them on,"
"Miko this is a momentous occasion fluffy sama swore and even made a second attempt," madly grinning Sugimi teased
"Dad I want out nooooow," the hanyou bellowed
Sugimi began "To answer your previous question I was saving that jar of cherries you so nicely poured over your brothers head to have with some vanilla ice cream, in fact that is what I came down here for, I was also going to invite the miko to join me as well. Had you only used the juice and left the cherries in the jar I would not have cared,"
"See told you it was your fault of all things you had to use father's cherries," Sesshoumaru jabbed "Nice work Sally gives it up in the alley for free daily,"
"Well excuse the crap out of me pot belly smelly Nelly with your reeking shitty kitty I didn't look for the gods damned label father time should have put one on it, duh," Inuyasha shot back "So stow it Maxine the beauty queen,"
"Well Inuyasha junior has all the brains the beauty and the one good eye you should let him do all the thinking looking and leading for you then there is the brown eye aka the rear door portal,"
"Why you, I ought to," the hanyou tried
"Now, now don't drop a load your diaper might fall off even reinforced jumbo sized deluxe has limits,"
"Whoa mama just when you think Sessh cannot get any better he kicks it up a notch or two," Kagome said to Sugimi
"Well we still have the ice cream, care to help me kill it off?" Sugimi asked
"Why yes mi lord I'd be honored,"
"Hey" what about us? Inuyasha bit
"Sleep well boys," were Sugimi's parting words as he and Kagome headed for the sweet treat
Lovers Lane
Two days later
"Greetings father, may I borrow your suit?" Sesshoumaru asked
"Have a hot date do we? And a flaming need? Sugimi teased
"Yes scorching hot," Sesshoumaru smiled "A real volcano,"
"Remember no glove no love,"
"What do I look like a twelve year old? And perhaps you should follow your own advice we do not need any extra puppies running around here" now do we? Another Inuyasha would be my end"
"Not to worry pup the miko and I are planning on working on a litter while you're out,"
"WHAAAAAT? Sesshoumaru bellowed eyes wide with a mix of shock and fear "You lie"
"Do I, do I? Sugimi winked he gave new meaning to the word sadist
"You need castration stat," the younger tried
"Fear not daddy thought ahead and had you boys fixed when you were six months old," Sugimi shot back thrilling when his sons golden eyes momentarily widened and filled with a look of sheer horror
"Sadistic in dire need of full body shaving and a spanking neko,"
"Why thank you, go ahead get the suit mister I'm so horny I can't wait I've got a hot date," Sugimi replied
"This Sesshoumaru thanks his most generous sire," he responded bowing then left
"Guess he wants to look dog beautiful," Kouga joked
"Yep," the others chimed in
"Pssssst Inupapa why do I get the feeling Sessh is up to something wicked? Kagome whispered
"Yes I to feel it, I'd follow and watch but it's Halloween time so I'll make like it's Christmas and wait for the gift opening,"
"Hehehe" Kouga laughed "I think mutt face is about to get fried wiener and all,"
"I'll get the knives forks and dishes and set the table," Sango added
That night somewhere with Inuyasha
"Oh hell yeah," Inuyasha said "Shit that's it just like that,"
"Like this? The female teasingly asked
"Ah shit, yes oh baby that's the sweet spot,"
"Ooo" she moaned when he thrust upward hard into her "Yes my doggy the airplane has landed,"
"And is parked on your runway" like that do you?
"A-again," she panted "Ahhh, I-I'm so close,"
"Me too,"
Tap, tap, tap on the car window broke the silence
"The fuck, now you've got to be friggin kidding me?" he bit "Don't stop it's so close,"
Tap, tap
"Whaaaaaaat? He bellowed, a flashlight shining in his eyes nearly blinded him "Uh gods dammit yes," he exclaimed while his female companion continued riding him he was about to release
Bang, bang, bang
He was yanked back to cruel reality by the persistent banging, rolling the driver's side window down "What? He yelled
"License and registration please?" the male commanded rubbing his eyes in order to focus on said male then looking he could make out a uniform
"Dude ya mind? I cannot see your blinding me with that freaking light?" The flash light went up just enough to show it was a cop "Heartless bastard you could have at least let me cum first sadistic prick,"
"Step out of the car hands on your head," the officer replied
"Are you fuckin kidding me? The irate hanyou snapped "I'm buck ass naked and don't do free strip shows,"
The flash light went up a bit revealing the males face "Hi Sesshy," the straddling Inuyasha female greeted
"Good evening Kagura as always it is a pleasure to see you again," she grinned
"Sesshoumaru you prick I am going to kill YOOOOOU," Inuyasha bellowed
"Now, now little bro don't take on so," Sesshoumaru taunted "You wouldn't want to rupture something sacred it would not be good for your female to witness such horror she might never want to mount you again,"
"Inuyasha Taisho you're under arrest," another male chimed in "Exit the vehicle and assume the position,"
"Oh lovely fluffy striped bastard brings a real cop with him, heartless prick,"
"No I just got here you're under arrest," the male said "Step out of the car hands on your head please?"
"For what? The hanyou snapped "And I am of legal age to drive and fuck morons,"
"For getting nooky in a no nooky zone, indecent exposure, unlicensed carnal activities in a public place," Sesshoumaru needled "Making amateur porn without a license list goes on,"
"This is lover's lane, duh," the hanyou retorted "Emphasis on lovers doing it etcetera you halfwits, and it would not be fuckin porn if you two pervs would go the hell away and let us finish,"
"Step out of the vehicle hands on your head," the real cop commanded
"Fuck you Naraku," Inuyasha bit "You'll just have to shoot me princess,"
"You wouldn't have any objections to my doing so would you? Naraku asked
"He did tell you to," Sesshoumaru replied "And one must grant another's request at all times,"
"Where the hell did you get a friggin police uniform from? Last time I checked you weren't a policeman thank god" Inuyasha insulted "But I did see the document that says you are a licensed brainless ass hat,"
"Father's April fool's day prank costume party and Halloween day uniform" Looks good hah?
"Well aren't I a lucky bastard, not."
"Yes very much and nearly illegally so," Sesshoumaru casually replied "Now be a good boy obey the officer and step out,"
"I may be a ball buster with practical jokes but at least I never cock or pussy blocked you either even I'm not that rotten,"
"No you just poured fathers jar of cherries over my head getting us locked in that cursed refrigerator,"
"Whoa lock and freeze, nice job Taisho," Naraku needled "Any frost bite? Could make the essential parts nonfunctional and once the pipe shuts down your screwed"
"I'm in just the mood for some spider steaks you eight legged meat shop," the cracking his knuckles hanyou bit "Shit" he said when his female shifted her hips ever so slightly
"Does this mean I get to take pictures? Oh this is the best" Naraku practically gushed "And remember to smile,"
"Damn" he groaned when Kagura tightened her sheath around his rod "Ah fuck it stay and watch if you want I don't care I ain't waitin till my dick and nuts explode hang on baby," he thrust his hips upward with his hands holding her hips "Don't move," he instructed and began hungrily kissing and groping her butt while slamming up into her hard and fast
"Say what? Naraku exclaimed "This cannot be real Sessh are we really witnessing this?"
"Our hanyou is pornographic and a public exhibitionist," Sesshoumaru joked "Lil bro's a freak, who knew?"
"Guess he really is all dog after all bow wow," Naraku teased "What a naughty boy,"
"It's nearly pop goes the weasel time and I have no desire to be here when they do," Sesshoumaru exclaimed "Regular porn is fine but brother porn is out. Oh shit,"
"You swore, what is it?"
"We are too late the weasel is already popping," Sesshoumaru replied
"I'm out see you dog," Naraku said
"Later spider," Sesshoumaru replied both took off at warp speed
"Now where were we? Oh yeah round two and maybe three and four I ain't done yet" Inuyasha said
"Make it all night," Kagura replied "Inuyashaaaaaaa,"she called out when he started slamming upward deep into her bringing them both to completion again
"Oh fuck, my kind of girl," he said
"My turn to ride,"
"Deal but after you pop, then on your back you go and me on top. Instant bed the seats go all the way back down,"
"I love a man who takes charge," she then began slamming down hard onto him nearly making him howl in pleasure "Later on we'll do it in the woods,"
At home a few hours later
"Oh fluffy my love" where are you muffin? Inuyasha sweetly called as he entered the house "Come here fluffy cakes don't be scared snookums lil bro just wants to talk,"
"Fluffy cakes," the others whispered to one another
"Muffin oh I so need to know what happened something big I bet," Sango exclaimed
"Snookums" shocked looking Sugimi added Inuyasha wasn't one for mushy pet names
Sesshoumaru casually came sauntering down the stairs "I know it's early but allow me to be the first to wish you a happy freaking Halloween little brother," he taunted "Smile pretty and say cheese," then took pictures
"Sesshoumaru I will get you for this if it is the last thing I do you can bank on it,"
"Oh lord it's something really bad?" Sugimi exclaimed
"Father would you have your pups any other way? Sesshoumaru calmly and innocently answered "Behaving is unnatural,"
"Pop you'll have one less puppy so get ready to become a one pup daddy I'll be in heaven," Inuyasha said
"Eldest pup did something really naughty, did he?" Sugimi said "I must know what it is and I mean now,"
"And that would be? Pretending to be unknowing of the previous events Sesshoumaru innocently asked
"Don't know but I just know it's something epic," Sugimi answered "Spill or be shred to death," his claws flexing
"Yes vermin why don't you tell our most honorable and cherished sire?" Inuyasha spoke formally imitating his brother to drive him batty "Come on dear brother father is waiting,"
"Most honorable cherished sire, oh yeah epic it is this proves it," Sugimi said "Tell us all Inuyashamaru," he teased
'Yes canus fluffieus talk confession is good for the soul, dare ya double dog dare ya," Inuyasha needled
"Gentlemen do not speak on such vile activities," Sesshoumaru replied "And it is wrong to do so,"
"Aw come on pooky" Has I fear nothing killing perfection become a weeping fearful woman? Inuyasha kept speaking like Sesshoumaru "Such cowardice is a disgrace to our proud family name,"
"Somebody tell something I don't care who, tell me something before I start shedding blood and taking lives," Sugimi threatened
"If you don't start soon I'll purify you to ash," Kagome promised
"Hope ya made out your will cause your about to go to an early grave," Inuyasha said "Happy trip to hell cuddles,"
"Well this has become boring now so I'm going for a walk," Sesshoumaru responded in a bored tone "Toodles"
"I'm coming with," then two streaks zipped by and out through the back door disappearing into the night
"Dammit now I'll never find out, I should have followed officer Sesshy on his mission," their disappointed father exclaimed the phone rang "Hello?
"Sugimi I am dying man I've got to-to tell you," panting struggling to breathe normally Naraku said "You, you will never believe it," he gasped then began telling him
"Breath spider Inupapa is here,"
"Yes dog papa," Naraku replied then began
"Hah what you're kidding me? Uh hah I see," suddenly the dog lords eyes grew impossibly wide "Oh my gods," as Naraku continued he listened "Cough, holy crap so Inuyasha was doing the front seat lube my dog log and his his brother posing as a cop knocked on the car window when they were about to pop," the laughing gasping for air inu said and put the call on speaker phone
"Shit" the others exclaimed trying but barely managing to keep from howling with laughter
"But that's not all here's the best and my favorite part," Naraku said after regaining his ability to speak "Inuyasha said and I quote heartless bastard you could have at least let me cum first sadistic prick," Naraku paused
"Oh shit that's my porno pup,"
"Then there's," Naraku started
"You mean there's more?
"Yup, he, he said ah fuck it stay and watch if you want I don't care I ain't waitin till my dick and nuts explode," Naraku barely finished before another fit of uncontrollable laughter took over "That's my second favorite,"
"Cough watch?" Sugimi was in shock "You mean he resumed playing drill for oil with an audience?"
"Guess that proves he's all dog" hah? Naraku teased "Woof, woof,"
"I had no idea my youngest was pornographic and a perverted public exhibitionist," a thought crossed his mind "This might come in handy and be useful one day,"
"Uh oh," Naraku responded then laughed again as various scenarios played out in his mind "Then my third favorite part is,"
"More? The others chimed in
"Wait there's more? Wide eyed Sugimi who had thought it could not get any better
"Sessh said it's nearly pop goes the weasel time and I have no desire to be here when they do. Regular porn is fine but brother porn is out he paused then said oh shit I replied you swore" what is it? We are to late the weasel is already popping"
"Whoa my porn puppy popping the weasel with an audience,' He gasped "Sesshoumaru swearing makes it funnier,"
"Guess that officially makes him a porn star, Hah?" Naraku teased
"Inuyasha indulging in public show and tell, oh I am so needling him with that next time he calls me a perv," Miroku said "Porn pop the weasel puppy ah yes wait for an inning then strike with that punchline,"
"More like drill and tell," Bankotsu teased "Pop goes the weasel and the weasel went pop,"
Sugimi told Naraku all about the jar of cherries and how he locked them in the refrigerator "Oh yes Sesshoumaru is getting revenge big time," Naraku spoke "Spec-freaking-tacular hah?"
"Oh this is going to be the wildest wickedest Halloween in history," Sugimi exclaimed "Who is the girl he was with?
"Our lovely Kagura," he answered
"Ah she makes a good daughter in law," Sugimi proudly exclaimed
"Happy perverted Dogoween,"
"Happy witness to depravity Spideroween," the dog general shot back
Boney love in the shower, Inuyasha's twisted revenge
Sesshoumaru patiently waited for Inuyasha to get into the shower "Ahhhhhhh" what the hell? How the hell did you get in here?
Casually and sweetly "You screamed little brother?
Inuyasha was about to speak when the skeletons boney hand reached out took hold of and stroked his shaft "Hah?
"What? Forgot how to wash?
"What the fuck? This thing's possessed. Get off me"
"As long as it is a female I see that you have nothing to worry about dear brother," Sesshoumaru teased "Cheating on our lovely Kagura fear not though I find it despicable I will never tell,"
"What the hell do you mean as long as it's female? You constantly yanking your Willy whack job"
"Just as I said" Have you switched teams and joined the all boy's love club? I don't judge whatever floats your boat. Have you gone deaf in your old age? Sesshoumaru loved his new favorite hobby
"Sesshoumaru you suck and I don't mean lemons eith" Inuyasha never got to finish
"What I suck or do not suck you will never know," Simultaneously the skeletons arms went around his neck and legs around his waist, then it moved up and down "What no gifts and courting first? You animal you" Sesshoumaru wisecracked "Perverted exhibitionist,"
"Asshole this fucking thing jumped me, attempt ape as in I ain't willing,"
"Well at least have the decency to take your time it is of the utmost importance that a caring male should always make sure to fully pleasure the female this guarantees she will always want and continue coming back for more," Sesshoumaru needled fighting to keep a straight face
"Then why don't you take the bitch to your room and pleasure her? My heart goes out to all the poor girls that have a crush on you little do they know you prefer bone bitches to live warm flesh"
"No she is your woman I am not so low that I'd ever take another dog's mate," Sesshoumaru teased
"Bullshit Sammy sexless,"
"Wow seedless Sara don't worry you can always adopt," Sesshoumaru jabbed
Thump "What the hell? Inuyasha groaned when he was knocked down "Hey? Ooooh"
"Do not tell me he is actually turned on by and is going to? Sesshoumaru whispered "Couldn't be with a skeleton"?
"Hey, are you?" all went silent "Ooo dammit, I can't believe," Sesshoumaru;s eyes widened in a combination of shock and utter horror
"Here of all places oh shit Goddsammit yeah,"
"Holy fucking crap on a fucking cracker," in total disbelief Sesshoumaru gasped
"Sesshoumaru swearing like a sailor I must investigate," the others silently followed "What is going on? Sugimi asked noticing his eldest shell shocked look
"It was an in the shower prank, a by humped brother little skeleton," he stammered unable to form complete sentences
"It was an in the shower prank little brother humped by a skeleton" is that it? Sugimi asked
"It yes is,"
"Calm yourself my boy," Sugimi replied gently patting him on the head then a thought popped into his mind "Well maybe he has a freakish kinky side," this was a rare opportunity which he could not pass up it wasn't everyday Sesshoumaru was so rattled he could not think or speak coherently "We just pretend as if we know nothing,"
"We must sick it stop is it,"
"Ordinarily I'd agree that as you say it is sick we must stop it but ah let him enjoy himself," Sugimi knew but Sesshoumaru was still too far gone to realize it and Sugimi was not about to miss out on having some fun
"Bleeding my is out scrub must brain it,"
"Your brain is bleeding you must scrub it out you say, so long as you do not use bleach it should be fine," Sugimi was one sick humored dog "And do not scrub too hard,"
"Funny real,"
"I know right? Sugimi replied oh he was enjoying this ironic plot twist
"Hate you I,"
"Aw Inupapa loves you to,"
Then something broke the silence
"Ohhhhhh shit yes," a muffled if not for their keen demonic hearing would not have been heard the cry came from Inuyasha. Curious the others began gathering behind them at the bottom of the stairs to the second floor "Ahhhhh"
"That a boy mutt," Kouga chimed in
"Nothing says joy like lovin in the shower," Ayame added
"Whaaaaat? Sesshoumaru nearly bellowed then quickly clamped one hand over his mouth
"Beat it you eavesdropping peeping Tom pervs we're busy," Inuyasha angrily snapped
"Um excuse us but what's going on? We puny humans don not have your keen demon hearing" Kagome teased
"Eldest has not yet realized that it is Kagura that has replaced the prank humping skeleton he put in the hower for Inuyasha," Sugimi answered
"Ah she must have been flying by found him there wanted some and popped in through the window for some midday delight," Miroku spoke
"Yup" the others present agreed
"Father you dirty dog you knew I was so rattled I could not comprehend and you took advantage of it?" Sesshoumaru bit "You are lower than the dirt under a snake's belly,"
"Well as you've just said I am a dirty dog proud to be one thanks for the compliment,"
"Ha, ha, ha fluffy pop got ya good," Gloating Inuyasha yelled down "RIP not,"
"I will kill you later I hope she rides you into the grave," eying his father Sesshoumaru snapped "Damned accursed dogs I grow to hate them more and more each day,"
"Nice but trust me it'll be a looooong wait Rover," Sugimi retorted
A while later
Inuyasha finally came downstairs followed by smiling like mad Kagura "Here's your bone bitch, you take care of her." He said tossing it at his sibling "Happy humping freak but for God's sake don't knock her up the world would not survive Skeletonmaru junior,"
"Die vermin," the elder bit
"You first Peaches," the gloating hanyou retorted
"Sesshoumaru my son I swear with each passing year you become more unhinged," Sugimi said
"Be that as it may little brother has learned the consequences of messing with the big dogs, and besides he is just so much fun to torture,"
"Yeah and it got me laid to genius thanks that's what you need ya rusty virgin," Inuyasha taunted "Best of all it boomeranged back at you and bit you on the ass I didn't have to wait to get revenge,"
"Yes but it did warm you up for the occasion" didn't it? Sesshoumaru gloatingly shot back "Tell me was she everything you dreamed she would be?
"Who knew a simple jar of cherries would lead to his never ending torment," Kouga teased "Nice job dog breath,"
"Shut up trendy Wendy," Inuyasha shot back Kouga laughed irritating him even more
"As if and stow it trip van winkle drinks so much water he constantly has to tinkle," the wolf replied
"Sally meet me in the ally free service twenty four seven promising them heaven,"
"After you jump face sown with a boner off a cliff," Kouga jabbed
"The wolf version of trash talking Inuyasha," Kagome pointed out "Oh I looooove it,"
"Shut it wench," Inuyasha bit
"Remember you asked for this sugar lips," The miko sweetly replied
"Oh how he cried when his dog log died the poor thing hadn't a chance because a busy right hand was it's only romance
Over worked Yasha Junior begged and pleaded for his life poor little dude his cruel heartless owner the limousine drama queen wouldn't get him a nice warm soft furry wife,"
"My woman doesn't get all A's in poetry for nothing," Kouga said
"Limousine drama queen good one miko,"
"Why thank you Sesshoumaru sama,"
"Kagome," Inuyasha responded
"So where'd ya bury the poor thing? She needled "And please tell me you at least had the decency to get him a decent headstone,"
"Oh so that's how you want to play? Okay you asked for it" the hanyou cracked his knuckles
"Meet me in my room where you'll meet your doom and I'll show ya where it's buried repeatedly I do not lie you better have an ambulance on standby
On your way to heaven remember who after a long while of service sent you off with a smile,"
"Really? Alright but it'll cost you a thou for me to hold on to your dog collar while I make ya holler,"
"Cough, I thousand dollars? Geez I only offered to mow your grass not buy a vat of gas" he shot back
"Pay for it or leave it," Kagome was what Inuyasha had never known she was as big a wiseass ball buster like him "Coochie isn't free,"
"Mink is not free my brother just check out the prices in stores it is one expensive fur," Miroku needled
"Well than monk ya better start working three jobs and saving all your money cuz you are going to be paying big bucks,"Inuyasha shot back winning that round "Top dollar mink for a spend himself broke lecherous fink,"
"Mine will cost you fifteen hundred," Sango chimed in
"What?
"Brown mink costs more," Bankotsu ragged "Where have you been everybody knows that. Miroku growled
"He's part dog who knew?" Jakotsu added
Tropical Paradise, my stylish new ride, renovations
A few days later
"Hm little brother I have a real treat for you,"
Sesshoumaru was itching to have some fun and had plans for a certain hanyou so he'd wait for the opportunity to present itself then take action. The taiyoukais lips turned upward into a devious smirk when his brother and prime target retuned home. Knowing Inuyasha's love of his delicious new fruit juice blends unintentionally creating Inuyasha's new crack, he offered the hanyou some of his new stalk passion fruit pineapple orange white grape and too many more to list Sesshoumaru called it tropical paradise
"Little brother I bid you welcome and wish to offer you a sample of my latest creation tropical paradise,"
"Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie," the deliriously happy hanyou said one arm extended with an open hand
"Such a child, here you addict," Sesshoumaru handed him a glass of the concoction
"Why do I smell a skunk in the wood pile? Jakotsu asked
"Because my son Sesshoumaru the ripper Taisho is on the loose heaven help the world," smirking Sugimi replied
"Mmm, big dog you've outdone yourself with this one you ought to bottle and sell this shit," inuyasha praised "More, more please?"
"As you wish I am immensely pleased that you like it so much,"
"Big bros rule all others drool," Inuyasha praised
"Uh oh," Bankotsu and his male pals exclaimed
"Oh crap," Sango added "This is about to get real,"
Inuyasha began to feel really good "Hey poppy how did your bikini wax go? Bet it hurt like hell" hah? He teased his father
"Shhh keep that secret to yourself others do not need to know your feminine grooming secrets. Alright my drunken pup off to bed you go," Sugimi said put Inuyasha over his shoulder and carried him up to his room
"Weeeee, Daddy gives Yasha pony ride me likey giddy up lil doggy,"
"You can pay me the fifty bucks you owe me for the ride in the morning,"
"Filthy dowars is too mush for such a short wide," the hanyou replied
"Taxi service is not free drivers must earn a living,"
"Awwwww no fair,"
The following afternoon
Inuyasha with tools in hand was hard at work creating his new masterpiece all done he packed up the toolbox and headed in to get something to eat. He took a mug out of the freezer poured cold milk into it then quickly loaded a long sub roll with sliced roast beef
"I'll be back I'm going to go pick up some Halloween candy for the trick or treaters," Sesshoumaru announced
"Okay be a good dog no drag racing," Sugimi teased
"Very funny nekopapa as you wish,"
"Glad you approve," Sugimi replied Sesshoumaru groaned then left
"What's up Yash usually gets the sweets," Kagome mentioned
"Leave sweet fang alone with goodies not a good idea," Sugimi answered
"Hey I paid for that bag with my own cash money," the hanyou griped
"A whole jumbo sized shopping bag filled with enough candy to supply all the neighborhood kids with treats three times over each?"
"Yeah so," Inuyasha responded "Demons can't get cavities which gives us the advantage and besides I'm bigger than kids so I need more,"
"A tad much don't you think? It is a good thing we are not human for if you had human teeth they'd all have rotted away centuries ago," his father humorously scolded
"Yeah" so why are you preaching then? Planning on giving up demonhood to become a monk? Damn you old man" the hanyou griped after a claw flicked his ear
"How dare you speak such blasphemy?
"Well excuse me Sally sensitive," Inuyasha needled
On the highway
Sesshoumaru took the shortcut to his destination the highway where he could cut loose open up and speed as he drove along the highway he loved the feel of the wind blowing through his hair. As he sped down the highway Sesshoumaru noticed his car was receiving a lot of attention looks smiles like a proud papa he smiled warmly. He was now driving through a neighborhood and noticed people's eyes were bugging out not understanding what was going on he simply shrugged it off h
"Hey buddy nice car," a man driving by said
"Whoa that's one of a kind," a woman commented as they drove past one another
"Okay odd but not annoying," Sesshoumaru said after they were gone
"Yo dude where'd you get that car made? A young guy asked
"What are you talking about? At a normal car store like everyone else nothing special" Sesshoumaru answered
"Well brother not to be a smart ass or anything, but either you had it altered and forgot or someone seriously rigged your ride," the man said
"Say what? What do you mea? And before he could say more the front of the car suddenly began bouncing up and down then music started blaring
"This tune is called I Be Ridin,"
Yo some people call me ghetto cuz I be ridin crazy and hell no I ain't driving miss Maisy I don't care what they say cuz I love my ride she is my pride and joy and makes me such a happy boy
Chicks are all getting up in my grill looking for a thrill I tell em I'm down with that but no dice if you ain't on the pill
I be ridin yo, yo I be ridin, I be ridin yo, yo I be ridin
Some call me the range rover cause girl I am all over
Ya say you don't know me hay baby let me introduce myself I'm Sesshy aka Sesshoumaru lets pull over so I can rock you
Your hoopty is bouncing up and down ride me like we're in a rodeo baby I'm your bucking bronco
Yes, yes, yes for the ninth time it's getting nearer damn she's a noisy lover hope nobody can hear her
Watch that round booty bouncing in the air enjoying the feeling of the breeze blowing through my hair
I be ridin yo, yo I be ridin, I be ridin yo, yo I be ridin
She turned me every way but loose damn this chick really cooked my goose
Yo it's a miracle I'm still walkin guess I won't be doing no shit talkin
Mornin comes I take her home my ass is dragging never had a girl do me like she did she nearly took my life think I wanna make her my wife
The music was bad enough in fact to him it was the most horrid thing on earth but nowhere as bad as what he was about to discover. He finally decided to look then saw he had been so euphoric about his ride down the highway he hadn't been paying attention. He looked down and nearly drove off the side of the road jamming his breaks he came to a screeching halt. He got out of the car and let his eyes scan over the body of his previously cherry red baby. Murder burned in his angelic golden eyes his baby had somehow morphed into a pink flesh tone penis that sparkled like glitter in the sunlight from the metallic additive that had been added to the body paint
The other guy pulled over coming to a stop "Hey man let me help you out," the young man offered then got out of his car
"As you wish,"
"Hi my names Shikimaru Kurenai just call me Shiki," he put his hand out and shook hands with Sesshoumaru
"I am Sesshoumaru Taisho it is nice to meet you,"
"I am a mechanic and if it's alright with you I would love to check your car," Sesshoumaru agreed "I am very curious to see what's going on here," Sesshoumaru popped the hood for him after a few seconds "Ah I see how it was done very clever guy must be a real pro,"
"What do you mean?
"Look here," Shiki pointed "See that thing that looks like a computer chip," Sesshoumaru nodded "Well that is what we in the business call a hydrolic morphing chip they use them on movie sets for Sci Fi films it can be programmed to morph vehicles into other shapes by the simple press of a button turning on the ignition set on a timer while driving at a certain time it'll kick in or even by remote control,"
"I see" do they have one that can morph little brothers?
"Oh boy you mean your own brother?"
"Yes sadly it is true," Sesshoumaru answered
"He also did a good job with the hydrolic lift in the front kids a pro" does he work for a movie set or something?
"No apparently it is a new hobby he has picked up," the dog demon replied
"Hey who did that rap piece?
"Again little brother,"
"Man dude went all out," Shiki commented "Kids loaded with talent,"
"You have no idea the boy is warped and depraved beyond comprehension,"
"Man and I thought my brother was a pain in the ass, only difference is in my situation I am the little brother and big bro is the terror,"
"It seems we both occupy the same spot in hell," Sesshoumaru smirked
"You know it I have an idea if you're interested,"
"Do tell I am all ears," Sesshoumaru was eager plus he had just found a new comrade in arms. Shiki shared his battle plan "My new friend I have just found my new partner in crime I'm not alone in battle anymore,"
"Awesome let's go pick up our supplies," they swapped business cards now the new buds had each other's info
Later that day
Inuyasha had gone out to get his enough for a family of eight Halloween goody supply sweet fang was a happy canine, he headed up to his bedroom to hide his stash after all it was best saved for Halloween day. The grinning hanyou eagerly headed for his bedroom stash the goodies take a shower and chill that was his plan. He opened his room door the bag immediately hit the floor the sweet treats inside flying and scattering in all directions his mouth gaped open he was unable to speak it was as though his vocal cords were frozen he was so confused he did not know what to do then felt something stirring and growled
He ran into the room trying to tear all the magazine pages off of the walls but soon made the ghastly discovery these were not magazine pages it was wallpaper. Yes his room walls had been covered with wallpaper that had been made to look like hardcore porn magazine pages. He groaned as his buddy aka Yashy junior stirred again the poor hanyou was officially in boner hell his pants snake wanted attention and it wanted it now. Then something very loud and alarming happened
"What the hell? Sugimi said when something loud kicked in
But oh that was not the end of his surprises nope he also made the discovery that it was not just the walls but also his bed clothes curtains and hell even his bathroom wall tiles all followed the porn motif. Sesshoumaru it turns out was a through renovator for he even had the forethought to decorate his loving brothers computer and furniture similarly. Along with the loud sound an anguished scream tore from the hanyous mouth alerting all within hearing range of his pain concerned his father followed by his companions came bolting up the stairs
"This is a little tune called I be humpin," the voice announced
Yo some people call me ghetto because I be humpin like crazy I'm in the backseat of my ride driving miss Daisy crazy my little man's so overworked he's getting hazy. After a few rounds she releases a euphoric sigh says again and I just wanna die
Girls are getting all up in my grill looking for a thrill I tell em baby just chill. This girl named Tsuki climbed inside my hoopty proceeded to hump me then told me I better take action and deliver satisfaction. She was wrapped so goddsdamned tightly around me didn't know If I was gonna make it cuz this chick is so intense thought she was gonna break it
I be humpin yo. yo I be humpin. I be humpin yo, yo I be humpin
Some call me the range rover cause girl I am all over bow wow I'm a dog and I want to introduce you to my canine log
You say you don't know me let me introduce myself I'm Inutrasha I wanna rock ya. Yes, yes, yes for the ninth time she's getting nearer damn she is one noisy wench I hope nobody can hear her. Five hours later my dick got so tired he expired. So I had to switch it up and take an alternative route hope she's done soon cuz I think my friggin tongue is permanently sprung
I be humpin, yo, yo I be humpin, I be humpin yo, yo I be humpin
Then she did something to me sneaky wench had a plan she grabbed and started sweet talkin my little man soon the kernel was saluting and then like the army he came in shooting.
Watched her round plump booty bounce up and down she released a squeal when something cold touched her skin I told her girl watch out for the stirring wheel
The visual was bad enough but the provocative suggestive lyrics along with it caused such steamy visions of himself with a female was maddening achingly so against his will his body was strongly reacting. The poor tormented suffering hanyou was torn between two things should he first run hide and not come back until his torment was relieved? Or kill his currently most hated on the top of his kill list big brother then take off? When his father and friends arrived on the second floor they found Sesshoumaru standing just outside of his brother's room inupapa could not believe it
"Happy freaking Halloween dearest little brother," Sesshoumaru greeted
"You, you did this? The walls were bad enough" But did you have to do my computer furniture, and curtains to? Fuck you even went so far as to do my bathroom tile and the fucking sex song with it"
"Hoooooooooly shit," the other males exclaimed after getting their first look
"Can I have your room? Miroku started
"Figures the perv would like this twisted shit," Inuyasha bit "You desperately need sexoholics anonymous,"
"Oh wow it's like a paper porn movie set," Jakotsu teased
"With music to," Sugimi added "He be humpin yo, yo he be humpin,"
"Yeah, fine yuk it up you bastards," Inuyasha snapped then with his hand on his crotch bolted out of the room
"Ah huh something Yashy has an impacted wisdom pecker tooth," Kagome said
"Want Jaky to make it all better? Jakotsu called out
"Hell fucking no whacky Jackie," Inuyasha yelled back then disappeared
"Poor mutt's in hard on hell," smirking Kouga exclaimed "Don't strain your wrist I mean paw later,"
"Not that I do not admire your artistry but tell me dearest son" why did you grace your brothers room with your talents? Sugimi asked, Sesshoumaru told them all about his car "Well I guess this is an appropriate thank you,"
"Why thank you father I thought so as well,"
"Sessh you are the dog," Miroku praised
"Mutt had it coming never under any circumstances mess with a guy's ride," Kouga said "It just ain't cool,"
"Or his woman," Jakotsu added,"
Sesshoumaru called Shikimaru to let him know the results of his idea Shikimaru nearly fell off his chair "Yeah my brother was yapping about getting a flame thrower when he saw his new porn room. Well he did empty all my cologne bottles and refilled them with sweet girls perfume, put mayo in the crotch of my underwear and neon green dye in my shampoo so I'd say we're even,"
"Wonderful, and let us hope our brothers never meet and become pals or we're all doomed," Sesshoumaru teased "My brother ran out holding his little man who was saluting
"Mine put a pillow over his and went in hiding and hasn't come back yet,"
"They are two evil seeds from the same pod," Sesshoumaru said Shiki agreed
"Yep my porn paper and your raunchy song killed them off well for now anyway,"
A common enemy creates new allies, sweet revenge
Inuyasha and another male at school unknown to them shared the same pain in the ass and school nightmare the one all called hell spawn. Something that would soon occur would bring them together to share one single goal getting payback and this is how it began
Bam crash "Ah shit,"
"Ow fuck," Inuyasha exclaimed the two running males ran into each other banging their heads together landing on their asses at the same time were rubbing their heads "Yo, you alright man?"
"Yeah no prob bud,"
"Say what were you running for teacher trying to nail ya for something? Inuyasha asked
"Nah, what were you running from pretty girls trying to hunt you down?" the other teased
Looking at one another "Hell spawn," Both simultaneously answered each other
"Oh no you too," Inuyasha replied "What's your name?
"Daichi Kurenai, and yours?"
"Inuyasha Taisho,"
Elsewhere
Ring, ring "Hello"
"Shiki they've just met,"
"What? Nooooooo, come on Sessh say it isn't so that you're just yanking my chain" pretty please? I'll pay ya a hundred bucks"
"Well sorry to destroy your escape from reality but I'm at the school right now they met running down the hall and slamming into each other banging heads together,"
"Why, why is fate such a cruel spiteful bitch? Shiki groaned
"Because she is female so we cannot call her a bastard," Sesshoumaru answered smirking when hearing his friend groan in defeat
"Very funny ha, ha, ha I'm peeing my pants laughing,"
"Well it seems they've already bonded and share a common enemy," Sesshoumaru told him
"Oh lovely they will be working together now god help the planet. Sessh I think the end of the world is upon us,"
"Well we will just have to stay on our toes,"
"So tell me who is this common enemy our felons share? Shikimaru asked
"Hell spawn,"
"Oh yeah big bros been swearing revenge left and right," Skiki said "Better hell spawn than us,"
"They'll be working together on the case they are already plotting and swapping ideas,"
"Well so long as they don't blow the school up I guess it's okay," Shiki replied
"My sentiments exactly, plus they will be to occupied to bug us,"
Back with Daichi and Inuyasha
"No man I'm telling ya we can make it in the lab I don't get all A's in chemistry class for nothing," Inuyasha told his new cohort
"I get all A's in shop class,"
"See that's what I'm saying A's in shop and chemistry put em together their unbeatable," Inuyasha proudly exclaimed "Fate meant for us to meet become buds share our skills plus we have and want to crush the same enemy,"
"Yes good point Taisho we're going to be best friends for life,"
"And partners in crime," The grinning hanyou added
With Inuyasha's friends
"Uh oh Daichi Kurenai," Ayame said
"Inuyasha Taisho," Kagome added
"And they're together," Kagura chimed in
"Oh no the new twins of evil have just been born," Miroku groaned
"Yeah it's like twin Inuyasha's one mutt face is too much two is certain doom," Kouga spoke
"Kids there goes the school," Bankotsu exclaimed
"Well guess it couldn't last forever," Kagura added
"You know who their after right?" Kouga asked "Hell spawn,"
"Oh snap gang I vote we sit back observe and enjoy this will be epic we better wear diapers because we may pee ourselves laughing," Miroku teased
Back with Inuyasha and Daichi
"Yeah this'll do it," Inuyasha said
"Man this has to be my finest piece ever," Daichi added they left the room
What are you two pervs up to you know you are not supposed to be in there right?" the female scolded
"Well tell ya what toots loosen up that binder your wearing and pull the butt plug out you won't be so anal," Inuyasha insulted "Aw did hell spawn lose her tampon? They do make em in jumbo size ya know"
"Yeah detached from their owners anuses shouldn't be walking and roaming around hope this one doesn't have any contagious diseases," Daichi needled, he and Inuyasha high fived irritating her to no end
"How dare you? She snapped
"Well I don't dare to with you so give it up it's a lost cause," Inuyasha jabbed "Sorry boo I don't do corpses,"
"Why I never,"
"And you never will looking more like a man then a man," Daichi shot back
"Why you I ought to," she bit
"Ought to get tons of plastic surgery? Inuyasha badgered "It might help nah,"
"Say a face transplant would work and save time, I hear a gorilla at the zoo died they'll be glad to donate his face," Daichi was evil incarnate "She'd look good then don't you think Yash?
"Definitely, I'd stop having nightmares every night after seeing her,"
She said not another word and stomped off swiftly heading away from them yes they were too much for her therefore she had no hope of winning. The two grinning miscreants leaning against the wall gave each other knowing looks waiting for what they set up to do it's job it was quiet but it wouldn't be long now. Sesshoumaru was also waiting eager to see what was going to happen then it began and everything went still as if frozen in time
"And soon it begins," Sesshoumaru said
"Intruder alert, intruder alert, intruder alert authorities have been contacted and are on the way, intruder alert," A loud booming voice spoke along with the blaring alarm. Boom followed by a high pitched shriek rocked the building
"Ahhhhhhhhh" silence then "Oh no" what the hell? Eew gross" she wailed
"Inuyasha what the hell did you? Kagome started
"Shhhhh my precious wench wait for it,"
Slam a door hit hard against the wall and out sprung hell spawn aka Kikyo Nagasaki coated with what looked like brown goo and turds falling off of her and a stench emanating from her person so overpowering it could raise the dead and kill them all over. It smelled like ass stinky jock straps piss and rancid meat this was the sickest prank in the history of the school surely no other could ever surpass it, well maybe if Daichi and Inuyasha's sons went to this school in the future
"All right I want details and I want them now talk or your lives are forfeit," a deep male voice spoke
"Yes mom," Inuyasha and Daichi answered
"I made a booby trap so that when hell spawn ah I mean Kikyho sat down on the toilet seat it went boom just a tad," looking like an innocent angel Daichi told him
"Just a tad ay it was a big tad," the man spoke
"And I used my knowledge of chemicals to make the lovely perfume au de la poo and the turds were made with chocolate that I mixed with it for authentic rankness," Inuyasha replied "Wouldn't you agree?
"I see and your reasons are?" the male asked
"She told the teacher I was smoking weed in the closet and selling joints," Daichi replied
"Liar told everyone I was secretly a cross dresser who posed as woman and worked as a female stripper in a strip club at night and serviced men in the back room," Inuyasha explained
"And for what reason did she do these things?
"She wanted money and I said no," Daichi said
"And you? He asked looking at Inuyasha
"I wouldn't hook her up with my big brother I said no not even the rottenest guy on earth deserves that hell,"
"I see well they sound like good reasons to me," the male said
"Thank you Naraku sensai," the two hellions replied, Naraku had left the police force to become a teacher
"We never had this conversation and I know nothing of it," Naraku spoke
"Deal" they responded
"Oh good work by the way," smirking Naraku praised "Carry on but don't blow up the school," he added then left humming
"Whoa I thought we were dead men," Daichi exclaimed
"You haven't heard have you?" Daichi nodded no "One day everyone was outside in back of the building eating lunch. Teach was in his classroom going over some papers she sneaked up on him he nearly leapt out of his skin when he felt a hand on his jewels trying to grope them,"
"Say what? You mean she had the nerve to cop a feel on teach?
"Yup, he godsdammned near broke her wrist and told her next time he'd kill her. Her wrist was bandaged up for a week she passed it off as a sprain, only a few of us know what really happened," Inuyasha told him
"Oh man that's great blackmail material,"
"Dude she's like an off its tracks train never stops rolling," Inuyasha wisecracked "Know what is really fucked up?
"What?
"Guess she doesn't know Naraku is an ex cop,"
"Cough, what? Oh holy shit she'd probably crap her draws if she knew" Daichi replied and laughed
"Hello little brother,"
"Yo big dog" what up? Inuyasha teased his elder sibling
"Another of your masterpieces and I see you have help this time,"
"Sure why not share the fun?" the hanyou joked "Daichi this is Sesshoumaru aka the big dog my elder brother, Sessh this is Daich play nice ladies,"
"Cretin" Sesshoumaru said "Nice to meet you Daichi
"Same here,"
"So ladies what's say we go to lunch Shiro's has the best food," Inuyasha suggested "Ow" he yelped after getting smacked "Damn everyone's a food critic fine we'll pick another place" happy now?
"I'm not a lady," two glaring males replied
"Oh ex-squeeze me," Inuyasha said and they continued on their way to Shiro's
'Aw my two babies hells assassins' Naraku thought 'With those two on the loose hell spawn will not have time to torment' hm wonder what the boys will come up with next?
Next day in gym class
"Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm," two innocent looking boys sitting in the corner hummed
"Oh boy I know that look mutts got a plan," Kouga whispered to his companions
"Hope he doesn't blow up the school cuz that'd really suck major balls," Bankotsu said
"Come on even Inuyasha isn't that rotten," Miroku spoke "Well not intentionally anyway,"
"Yo Kagome," Sango called out to her entering the gym friend
"Over here," Kagura motioned for her to join them
"Comin" Sango was cut off
"Higurashi since when did they start letting dogs in the gym?
"Hell spawn they let you in so I guess it's okay bow wow,"
"So how was the orgy your mom had over the weekend? Kikyo needled
"How was the orgy you had with those horses you do know that's animal abuse rape and illegal right? Damn didn't know that sewer hole you call a vagina was that big ass and mouth very busy"
"Oh shit nice ten alarm fire burn," Daichi praised
"Not as busy as your mom," Kikyo tried
"Well at least I don't indulge in attempt incest your three brothers and even your own sister disgusting I'm gonna puke," the miko shot back, everyone burst out laughing Kikyo fumed. Kagome was going to pound her this time she didn't care who talked shit to her but nobody did that to her mother
"Chill Kaggy," Inuyasha said at first she struggled and squirmed in his arms to free herself and commit homicide "If you just wait a few seconds I promise it'll be worth it really worth it," she nodded in agreement "Good girl," he let go
"Is it epic and super rotten?
"You bet your sweet little round ass it is," he answered
"Good ah Yash you never let a girl down"
"And after I know a way to add a ton of fuel to the fire," he whispered in her ear she asked what it was he told her
"You know you think so much like a female it's scary," she teased
"We wenches have to stick together," he teasingly replied as he walked Kagome toward the corner where Dachi was sitting with one hand he signaled their male and female friends to come to they did
"Alright mutt spill what did you do?" Kouga asked
"Sorry princess knobby knees you have to wait besides if I tell you now it'd ruin the surprise,"
"Tight ass," the others exclaimed
Kikyo was a cheerleader secretly hated by the other females and always thought she was superior to all the other female students which got the other team member so riled they kicked her off the team. Now she took to gymnastics and still thought she was better than the rest. She had to go change into her practice clothes
"Be back in a sec," she said to the other girls and took off
"As if I care," One girl said
"I know right?" another added
"Wish she'd break a leg then we'd be rid of her for a few weeks," another chimed in
"Ohhhhh, why couldn't she do something to get expelled? Then we'd be rid of her for good," a fourth groaned
"Hear that? Ayame asked
"Yep" the rest of the group replied
Kikyo returned wearing a leotard with a very short skirt she was good at doing cartwheels on the balance beam and loved showing off frequently too frequently. She did a few stretches to loosen her muscles up then hopped up on the beam and began her cartwheel. Peals of uncontrollable laughter tore through the gym when the seams of her skirt leotard and bra opened up and fell off along with all the things she had stuffed in her bra revealing that the ample bosom she was famous for was nothing but padding. But that was not all something else like a beam of light drew everyone's attention to a certain thing and all widened eyes were glued to it
"Eew look it's all," one pointing boy exclaimed
"She's on the rag and isn't even wearing a pad," a girl pointed out
"And look it's dark red means she's been wearing bloody undies all day without changing," another exclaimed
"Oh I think I'm gonna hurl," Bankotsu added just to annoy her more
The look of horror shock and disbelief had Kikyo so stunned that for a few seconds she was unable to move or form thoughts. She was cruelly snapped back to reality when the most horrid stench reached her nose it smelled like a bloody slaughter house and it was coming from her. The foul odor turned her stomach and swiftly carried through the gym causing the spectators to clamp their hands over their noses
"Somebody call the CDC this has to be a biohazard," Kagura needled
"Wow guess those horse dicks were too big for ya after all," Kagome needled "Be back in a sec pooky,"
"Where ya goin wench?" Inuyasha asked "Pooky what the hell?
"You, you know the old saying pee your pants laughing well if I don't get to the bathroom soon I will," Kagome panted and took off
"This is better comedy and funnier then movies," Ayame said
"Real life shit always is," Bankotsu got out
Suddenly "Ahhhhhhh" a scream jolted all there
"There hun thought this'd help you out," Kagome said
"Higurashi, Higurashi, Higurashi," the other students cheered
"Shit Kaggy just hit her with a bucket of water," Ayame pointed out
"Freezing achingly cold water," Miroku added
"How do you know? Bankotsu asked
"The ice cubes on the floor," pointing Kagura said "Killer"
"I smell lemon disinfectant too," Kouga told them
"That's our wench she thinks of everything," gloating Inuyasha exclaimed Kagome returned to her friends "Devil woman I did not see that coming, ah they grow up so fast I'm so proud,"
"Surprise, I just could not pass up that golden opportunity,"
Inuyasha patted her on the back "Hey how the hell did you make it look like she was having her period?
"Chemistry class I mixed a few chemicals coated the crotch of her favorite gym undies with it when she put them on her body chemicals activated it and it turned red,"
"But what about the seams of her clothes how'd you do that? The Hanyou asked
"That was me I swiped her outfit from the locker cut a few stitches here and there and ta da like magic when she started the cartwheel the tension popped the rest of the stitches and off the clothes fell," Daichi told them
"He's like a second Inuyasha," Kagome commented "Now we have two of them look out world,"
"Yeah Daichi's the little bro I never had," Inuyasha said
"Aw shucks you'll make me blush," Daichi teased
"Higurashiiiiiiiii" a grating shrill voice pierced everyone's ears
"You shrieked,"
"I'll get you for this," Kikyo bellowed across the room
"One wish I could claim it as mine but I cannot because sadly I didn't do it, two if I had I would have done way more than rig your clothes to come apart,"
"Yeah sure," Kikyo bit
"Little brother at it again I see and you've corrupted Daichi as well," Sesshoumaru said as he approached
"Hey he was already corrupt I just added a few things you know like Christmas a few extras makes it even better," Inuyasha smirked "Kaggy remember what I said after?
"Oh yeah,"
"Ha? Sesshoumaru exclaimed
"Woo hoo," all present cheered when Kagome planted a kiss on Sesshoumaru's lips
"Get that hot stud," the girls called out
"Yo Sessh stroke her butt, stroke her butt, stroke her butt," the males coaxed. Playing along Sesshoumaru grabbed hold giving a gentle squeeze
Kikyo gasped the horror as she considered it to be was too much she had the hots for Sesshoumaru "You cheap little whor," she started until she was cut off
"Um aren't you forgetting something?
"What kicking your ass?" Kikyo snapped viciously
The miko smiled evilly "Except for the period undies you're wearing tittles Tina you are buck ass naked,"
"Wha, what? Kikyo stammered than looked "Oh, oh my god," she whined then ran with her hands over her boobs, all of the students applauded as she ran
Kagome tried to back away from Sesshoumaru but he kept her encased in his arms holding her tightly to his own body "I think not," he whispered in her ear
"Yo, fluff what's up? Are you cold or something?
"You think to leave me now? Was all he said then they disappeared
"Hehehe drillin time," wiseass Inuyasha whispered
In a closet
Lemon starts
"Sesshoumaru what the hell are you? The miko gasped "Do doing? She could not form complete sentences "Ow" she groaned when her virgin barrier was torn away
"Your mine and no other will have you," he hadn't waited for her to adjust to the intrusion and kept moving inside her. He was in a savage state because his more primitive side had taken over and she understood this "I promise I will make you enjoy it more then you ever knew possible,"
"Se-shou-ma-ru," came her strangled gasp
"This is demon heaven,"
"I, I" she panted heavily "Sesshoumaru please? Oh gods yes right there," she said when he slightly shifted
"That's it I want to feel you with, with me," he groaned as they neared completion
"Sesshoumaru,"
Lemon continues
Outside with Inuyasha and the others
"Hey what happened why'd they disappear like that? Bankotsu asked
"Sesshoumaru had a secret," Miroku teased
"Fluffy was hiding a major boner," Inuyasha said "Hahaha poor bastard wench done got herself mate married,"
"Eloquent as always mutt," Kouga fake scolded
"Well excuse me Sesshoumaru sama had shall we say a wardrobe malfunction below the waist?"Inuyasha replied speaking formally "There better now?
"Yes tiz much better dog breath sama,"
"So you played evil cupid" didn't you, you sneaky dog?" Miroku spoke
"Sure did" why do you think I told her to kiss him in front of Kikyo? Revenge plus fluffy has been mad crushing on her so I figured kick it up a notch and get them to hook up. He's finally getting his hinges oiled"
"Yashy" a sexy voice called
"Hey let go this ain't fair,"
"You're coming with me," Kagura replied tugging him along by his ear "I need help in the storage room," damn if she didn't look hot as hell all dressed in red his favorite color and with that black hair he loved so much
"Yo mutt put your back into it," Kouga needled
"Mangy wolf,"
"Guess his little prank turned Kagura on," Jakotsu chimed in
"Damn never thought pranking would score ya some pelt," Daichi wisecracked
At home
Sesshoumaru and Kagome returned home hours later "Well, well, well it's alive hinges oiled and everything. Happy freakin Halloween big bro,"
"Perverted puppy," Sesshoumaru shot back
"Yeah puppy got ya laid and married," he teased rubbing his claws on his shirt as if polishing them "Took ya long enough to figure that out duh,"
"Is that why you told me to kiss him? Kagome asked
"He's been mad crushing on you like forever if I waited you could have married someone and had five kids before he did anything about it, besides you and me are really tight I wasn't about to let some other chick replace you as my sister in law or dog in law,"
"Welcome to the family daughter," Sugimi greeted "And thank you my little demonic cupid," he added looking at Inuyasha
"Aw come on pop stop," the hanyou whined when his sire scratched behind one of his ears he practically purred
"What's this? Sugimi asked
"Hey let go nosy geezer," Inuyasha protested but Sugimi persisted
Pulling Inuyasha's shirt collar all the way back "Well look kiddies someone's been marked," he teased
"Big mouth thanks for ratting me out," the hanyou shot back
"Finally with all the plowing you've been doing I am surprised Kagura isn't carrying a litter of eight by now," Sesshoumaru teased "But when?
"While you and Kagsy we're getting hitched in the closet Kagura came and dragged my ass off to the storage room,"
"In school boys isn't school for learning? I guess you two really are all dog" their father razzed
"Duh what was your first clue?" the two responded "Woof,"
Two new arrivals arrived on the scene "I've got a new daddy," Shippou chimed
"And I got a new mommy," Rin added then high fived each other
"And a cool new aunty," the two kids added Kagura hugged them
"Okay peeps let's start the party," Kouga said and they did "Happy freakin Halloween honeymoon," you two
"Now you won't die virgins," their father needled
"Growl, I haven't been a virgin in many years," two indignant voices bit
"So cranky even after losing your cherry why one would think you would be ecstatic and mellow," Sugimi could not resist plus getting the last word in was fun