I wrote this a while ago and I haven't re-read it... It is a continuation from the Season 14 finale, after Andrew kissed Meredith at the wedding... A few more moments between Andrew and Mer that day...
"Am I fired?"
"No. I'm… flattered."
I.
He had just kissed Meredith Grey. At a wedding. Not his wedding... He really needed to stop thinking like this.
They were at Dr. Karev's and 's wedding. And somehow he got himself so drunk that he took her generosity, her attempt to safe him from completely embarrassing himself with his so called speech, and probably to safe themselves from more of that speech… He took that as a seduction and kissed her.
Andrew didn't really know himself why he felt the need to kiss her in that moment. But… once again Meredith was the one, who probably unconsciously saved him from himself with her open heart when it came to helping other people.
First when she let him stay at her house, moping around after Sam left, and then called his sister to get him out of his own misery. And now again, when she pulled him away from the other guests, taking a walk with him and trying to give him… hope?!
And her dress… Her smile… Her eyes… Her kindness…
And then he kissed her.
And while Andrew was sure that he had a bit too much of the alcohol here, it really was the only explanation why he kissed his boss, it wasn't enough for him to not notice that she was still holding his hand.
They had found and in an old shed and then gone back to the main wedding ambience. Which had turned into a bunch of people hovering around the wedding planner. Jackson and April trying to help her, because she had an allergic shock.
And really, shouldn't his focus be on that woman and not on Meredith who held his hand the whole way walking back? She probably didn't even notice it. Just as they saw the scene in front of them, she was letting go of his hand, as if it had been nothing. And it was nothing! Why should it have meant something?!
But Andrew was still standing next to her. All too aware of how her lips felt on his just moments ago. The way her eyes were shining. Warm and genuine.
And only when Schmitt pulled down the cake with him at the sight of blood from the wedding planner, he realized that he got lost in his thoughts. The second time today. Only this time, he felt a bit more sober, and he didn't tell what was going on inside his head to everyone that attended this wedding in a speech out loud.
As the situation got under control and the wedding guest started to spread across the ambience again, he distanced himself a bit from the rest of the guests. Especially from Meredith. He really needed to get himself together. After all she was his boss!
And while moments ago, he was almost convinced of himself that he felt more sober again. This couldn't be the case, because how could he explain everything that just happened, what he felt the past hour, without it being because of the many drinks he had had.
Because how on earth could he be attracted to Meredith Grey, his boss, when he was pining over his deported girlfriend just hours earlier. They really made some amazing drinks here.
II.
When Andrew caught himself almost an hour later, again, staring at Meredith, he couldn't kid himself any longer. She was talking to her sisters in the middle of the set up for where the ceremony should have been. And the alcohol might have been one factor why he kissed his boss, but the way it still made him feel, was not because of the amazing bartender at the wedding, as much as he would have liked to blame that on the drinks he had had.
It was decided that there wouldn't be a wedding today, at least not here. And as much as he had heard, they planned to get on a ferry boat and afterwards to Jackson's to celebrate anyway. Andrew decided to look for his sister, since they came together, trying to figure out if they would join the rest of the wedding on the ferry boat or go home instead.
Andrew was torn between staying and leaving. He already embarrassed himself in front of his coworkers… And Meredith.
He didn't really feel the need to let this course of embarrassment continue. On the other side, he thought it was rude to just leave… and besides, he usually liked celebrations. And… maybe he wanted to stay because of Meredith. !
He tried to find Carina. And maybe to get on other thoughts, because his mind didn't seem to be very cooperative today. Even less since that kiss; always bringing this moment back, when he thought he had just succeeded to get her out of his mind.
Andrew was starting to walk in a different direction to where Meredith was standing, after he scanned the area with his eyes and not being able to see Carina anywhere. Also, to convince himself that whatever he thought was there, wasn't there. There couldn't be an attraction. Even less so a returned attraction. Why was his mind going there again?
He walked through one of the paths around the main area, where the seats have been. You could still see the place where the ceremony should have been, only a few trees and bushes marking that this was a separate path. After a few minutes he saw Carina standing next to a tree. It seemed like she was watching over Helm, who was rambling about something.
Seems like he wasn't the only one who had too many drinks today. At least he was feeling better again. Which couldn't be said about Helm.
He saw Schmitt coming closer, thanking Carina, and then trying to convince Helm that they should go home. Just as they were about to leave, Carina turned around to walk away, and noticed him.
"The next one who doesn't know how much alcohol is enough." she said teasing him, but at the same time with an underlying concern in her voice.
"Very funny." he rolled his eyes, walking the last few meters over to her. "I don't need you to babysit me."
"Good to know. Didn't seem like that earlier." She raised an eye on him. Mocking him, now that she saw he was fine. Or at least feeling better than before.
This was going to be a long day.
III.
Andrew and Carina were sitting on one of the benches on the ferry boat. They had decided to join the rest that was left of the wedding guests and to at least go on the ferry boat with them. He still wasn't sure if the shorthanded planned party at Jackson's with even more alcohol was the best idea after today.
It wasn't a good idea. But it couldn't get really worse anyway anymore, right?
Meredith was sitting just a few rows in front of them on the other side of the ferry boat, talking to Jo. They were laughing about something. And he couldn't help himself to look at Meredith.
The blue dress, her hair slightly flying in the wind. And her smile. He really needed to stop thinking about her.
He heard Carina talking to him. But he barely heard what she said. And after he didn't hear her question for the second time, he felt her hitting his arm slightly. And really, he better should have listened to her, because now he had spiked Carina's curiosity.
"What are you even starring at? " He saw how his sister tried to make out, what made him get lost in his own world, that he didn't even pay the slightest bit of attention to her.
"Nothing." Great answer... Not suspicious at all. Carina knew him too well for that to work.
"What is with you? Why are you starring at Dr. Wilson?"
"What? I'm not looking at her!" Oh, how he wished he had just listened to Carina and not let his head decide to keep looking at Meredith.
"Oh, so, you can't stop looking at your boss then?"
Andrew's silence must be enough to confirm whatever conclusion she had drawn over the last minute. Because she was looking at him with amusement now, as if she had just figured out something. To her credit, she did. If she only knew how right she was.
"What happened? A few hours ago you were still pining over Sam, as far as I remember?"
"Maybe I wasn't pining over Sam. Maybe I was pining over the idea of not having love. " He said somewhat absent mindedly. And really, when he thought about it, it might be the most honest he had been today. He liked Sam, he might even have loved her. And he was sad when she had to leave, but the overwhelming feeling after she left might have been from the feeling of losing the chance of love. And, Meredith… , … She had given him hope again. Which, of course, didn't come from the kiss and how it made him feel. Maybe he hasn't reached the level of being totally honest with himself, yet, after all.
"So, you are in love with your boss now?"
"What? No. You wouldn't understand."
"Che cosa hai fatto, Andrea?" (What did you do, Andrew?)
"Niente." (Nothing.)
Andrew quickly stood up to not let that conversation go any farther. By the glance Carina was shooting him, he knew that he hadn't convinced her. But given the options, he preferred her to not know what had happened. She would never let that go.
Carina followed him to the stairs, going up on the deck to enjoy the view while they were on the ferry.
IV.
"Dr. Grey. " Andrew exclaimed a bit hectic when he almost bumped into her, as he was on his way down off the deck again. While she was on her way up there.
It took him a minute to compose himself, remembering that his sister was just behind him. She already knew too much for his liking. Also, really, he should have more self control. To his defense, Meredith looked just as shocked as he did, only she was faster to cover it.
"Are you feeling better, Dr. DeLuca? " she asked with a slight smile.
"I- Yes. Thank you." He stammered. Why did his mind need to choose that day to betray him over and over again?
He could hear his sister already trying to repress a chuckle behind him, which miserably failed. And without looking at her, he knew exactly that she was smiling with amusement at this situation.
"I'm getting everyone together, we'll have the wedding here on the ferry boat." Meredith then informed them in her completely professional manner, motioning towards Alex and Jo, who were standing at the end, looking over the water at the skyline of Seattle, before she continued to go upstairs to get the rest of the guests together.
…
"Seems like you made quite an impression on your boss. " He heard his sister mocking him behind him, as they were down the last few steps. If she only knew that embarrassing himself by giving a drunken speech wasn't the only kind of impression he had left that day…
Andrew shook his head slightly at the thought. Not wanting to go into that, he decided to just ignore her. Except ignoring Carina wasn't that easy. She was walking beside him now, giving him that teasing grin of hers, that already told him that he wouldn't get away so easily.
"What? " He asked annoyed, knowing that Carina was dying to say something.
"You like her."
"I don't"
"Please, don't make a fool of yourself over your lady boss."
"I won't." It really was to late for that…
Trying to ignore his sister again, his thoughts wandered back to the moment with Meredith minutes ago. It had almost seemed like she had cared. As if she had actually wanted to know how he was feeling.
She had asked completely professional, and given the circumstances, the question was more than justified. But then, he had never seen that smile when he was around, or at least not addressed to him.
And this smile that he had never seen or noticed before, it was what made him kiss her earlier. Could it really be that he wasn't the only one who felt something? No. It couldn't be. It was probably just his imagination playing another trick on him.
V.
"Do you need something from Dr. Grey? " It was Amelia whose curiosity he has peaked while starring through the room. And, by now he should be honest enough with himself to admit that he wasn't just 'starring through the room', but directly looking at Meredith.
They were at Jackson's place now. And after he finally convinced his sister that, yes, he had drunken too much earlier, but, no, she didn't need to babysit him the whole evening, Amelia appeared next to him.
And that was actually worse. Because, he didn't need Meredith's sister to know that he secretly developed feelings… Could you called it that?! …for Meredith over the last few hours. Maybe feelings were a bit too much of an admission, a crush, an attraction then? Okay, that didn't make it any better...
Whatever it was, it wasn't something he needed to share with the inner circle of her family.
"I can get her for you. Is it about a patient?" Amelia was looking at him questioning. And for a moment he was confused.
Didn't Amelia hear and see him earlier or why did she think that he had a question about a patient now. He wasn't on call. Neither was Dr. Grey… Or maybe it was the only reasonable explanation to her.
"Mere-"
"No." He tried to interject, before Amelia could call Meredith; but it was too late. Meredith was already looking over to them, hesitating a little when she saw him, before going over to them.
"Did you need something?" Meredith asked as she approached them, looking at Amelia.
"I need to go, I promised Owen to help with Leo. DeLuca seemed like he had a question." Amelia gave her goodbyes, before she headed towards the door.
"You had a question?" Meredith was turning to him now, remaining completely professional.
"I- I don't, I'm sorry, there must have been an misunderstanding with Amelia."
"Oh, okay." She gave him a small smile while answering. He got lost in her eyes for a moment.
How had he never noticed her before? And why was she invading all his senses now? And why did she keep smiling at him?
Andrew could feel the smile that had also formed on his lips. He should leave before his mind decides to do another one of his brilliant moves today. He wants to keep his job after all.
"I- I should get going."
VI.
Trying to avoid his sister and Meredith, Andrew found himself in the kitchen at some point. There wasn't really anything to do. Even though the party was organized in just a few hours. The caterer was still the same. The food was just brought to Jackson's place instead. So, no, there wasn't much to do, but trying to keep himself busy and enjoying the quieter atmosphere in there, with most of the guests being in the main room, he started to help the caterer with small things, putting the food on long plates, so they could be served.
And while he was concentrating on putting the food on the plates in order, he didn't notice Meredith coming into the kitchen. She was stealing one of the finger foods off of one of the prepared tables, and then walked over to one of the cupboards to get herself a glass to pour some water in it. And it was only then that she noticed him on the other side of the kitchen island.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him surprised.
"Helping?" he tried to offer that as an excuse. She didn't believe him. But she chuckled slightly at his reasoning. He was a bad liar. But at least he made her laugh.
"I think there is a caterer, who is responsible for the food." she was still looking at him.
"I'm trying to avoid my sister." He gave her a more convincing answer.
"Oh. I get that." she gave him a genuine smile, before she stole another one of the finger food Andrew had just prepared on the plate.
"Hey." He protested. The word was out, before he even realized it. And, yes, he admitted he might have had another drink. Maybe Carina shouldn't have left him after all. Or maybe it was exactly what needed to happen, because otherwise he would have never brought up the courage to speak to her that openly, or openly compared to the usual work-related talks.
She was staring at him, surprised by his words, but somehow she didn't say anything in return.
After a moment he felt like he needed to add something to get out of this situation "I put a lot of effort in preparing them." He said almost mocking himself. And maybe he was. And maybe it was the right thing to say, because he heard a slight chuckle from her. Before she went over to his side of the island and grabbed some food to place it on the plates to complete them again. She looked up at him, after she finished her task, giving him a demonstrative smile. He liked her smile.
Now Andrew was the one, who had to laugh a little. And when he saw that she didn't make any attempt to leave, he decided to risk it and keep the conversation going. Because, if he knew one thing by now, he liked her presence. Yes, he finally noticed.
And besides, it couldn't get any worse anymore, anyway…
"What are you doing here?"
"Escaping my sister's, too. " she let out a sigh, rolling her eyes as if to make her point clear. And he could relate, as much as he loved his sister. Sometimes she could be so annoying.
"Seems like we have that in common." He smiled at her.
"Yeah." She turned her head slightly to look at him, meeting his eyes. And with every minute that went by, it felt harder to convince himself that this wasn't a good idea. And with every minute that went by, he saw her realizing the intensity of this moment.
"I should get going." This time it was her, who seemed like fleeing the situation.
VII.
"Dr. Grey!" A little later he actually bumped into her, on his way back down to the party. And it seemed like Meredith was just on her way up to escape the mass of people downstairs. He gently held her arms to keep her from falling. And he didn't know why… Probably because his mind had decided at some point today, that he really wanted to lose his job ...but he kept holding her. And she on her side didn't make any attempt to get out of his almost embrace.
"Seems like we keep crossing each other's path today." She offered to fill the silence, with a small, timid smile.
"Yeah." He chuckled slightly, before getting lost in her eyes. He was so overwhelmed by her. Everything about her. Her being in his arms. Her hair. Her perfume. Her smile.
And he could see how slight panic crept into her eyes. But it must not have been enough for her to get out of his arms. Because his embrace wasn't really more than his hands grazing her figure to keep her close, and if she wanted to leave, she could have done so already. But instead she was placing her hands on his chest, as if she tried to put some distance between them, while at the same time wanting to stay close.
"DeLuca." She said just above a whisper, looking up, deep into his eyes.
"Meredith."
"Andrew." She met his eyes again, slightly leaning in a little closer.
He saw her eyes darting back and forth between his eyes and his mouth. And he felt it, too. The urgency to close the last distance, the affection towards her, and then the small rational part in him that screamed that this was anything but rational. But his heart, his body took over and left his mind behind, when he slowly leaned down to catch her lips with his, trying to make sure this was what she wanted, too.
And when he saw that she didn't try to get away, but met him halfway, he finally felt her lips against his again, in a slow and sensual kiss. And he didn't know why, but it was the complete opposite of the drunken mistake earlier. It wasn't hectic and forced. It wasn't with that urgency he had felt just moments ago. It was almost tender, slowly letting themselves go in the feeling of each other.
Just as he felt her deepening the kiss, Meredith's phone was ringing.
Why now?
She was jumping back, remembering where they were. She was staring at him for what felt like an eternity, before she snapped back to reality, her phone still ringing.
"I- I need to go." She said, obviously feeling slightly out of place, before she answered her phone.
What did just happen?
He watched her leave, while he was still thinking about that kiss. They were interrupted before anything more could have happened. And he really couldn't explain himself how they ended up here. Or maybe there was an explanation…
But he absolutely had no idea what this moment they had just shared meant. But the feeling he had, the warmth he felt while having her in his embrace… he only hoped that this was something he would be able to experience again.
VIII.
Andrew hadn't seen her anymore after their 'moment'. She must have left the party, shortly after she got that phone call. His mind was still working on overdrive, trying to process the last few hours.
Could there really be something? Or was this all a mistake? Would he still have his job the next morning? What if she was going to fire him now? But she let him kiss her… She seemed like she wanted this too.
He felt how he was starting to smile at this thought, quickly trying to control himself, getting back to reality, questioning what to do if he really lost his job because of this.
While he was taking another sip from yet another beer, he decided to just type out a text.
"Am I fired?" Because what else should he have said, his mind wasn't able to get out a more coherent message. And this one had worked before, right?
Maybe he shouldn't have sent anything at all and just waited to see what was happening…
A few minutes later he got a response.
"No." At least he wasn't fired.
A second message came in.
"I'm flattered, Andrew." He found himself smiling stupidly. What were the chances? Her using the same phrase again.
He was drifting off in his own world again, thinking about their kiss, when a third message came in.
"Goodnight."
Goodnight.