A/N: WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF VIOLENCE STRAIGHT AHEAD.

I warned you at the beginning of the story that there will be M-rated violence, so this is it: the M-rated violence. So I'm telling you again: proceed with caution.

As always, beta-read by JularaVon. Thank you for helping me with the story.

With trembling hands, he poured himself a full glass of whiskey. He emptied it in three gulps and filled up one more. He drank it with the same speed, then put the glass aside and leaned heavily on the desk, closing his eyes and lowering his head. His pulse was still racing, so he took several deep breaths to calm down the violent beating of his heart.

He was still in scrubs, covered in Lee's blood. After the surgery, he hadn't had enough strength to pull it off and change into the usual medical uniform. What he really wanted was to be left alone, right now, so after exiting the OR, he'd marched to his office straight away.

Holy fuck, that was a hell of a fight for human life.

How many such miracles he could produce, he wondered, until something would finally go wrong and he wouldn't be able to grab the miserable moron of his patient from the death's strong grip and drag them back to life? Whose turn would it be? He really didn't want to know.

McCoy took the bottle and drank straight from it. He drank, and his whole life was flashing before him.

He would have been lying if he'd said he never felt so devastated before because he did. When Jim had died, and McCoy had seen his friend, his brother, in that container bag, he'd felt dead too. He also remembered the horror when they'd told him that Joanna, his little princess, was trapped on Cerberus with the famine raging out. He remembered his father's death and everything after it, resulting in the collapse of his previous life. And while these three events were definitely leading the party of the most horrible things ever to happen to him, the last 24 hours certainly became the top four of the list.

Mainly because he'd spent twenty of it, trying to pull Lee back from the dead.

The initial problem was stomach walls that were torn apart after Utrar's hit. When McCoy started repairing the damage, her liver followed the stomach's example and produced a huge hole too. Two vital internal organs had just exploded, and she almost bled to death in seconds.

When they finally patched her more or less, her heart stopped, and it took a minute to make it beat again. She was dead for the whole goddamn minute, and this, combined with her overall heart condition, forced him into another surgery.

To make things worse, her body had been failing everywhere, and it took two experienced surgeons, one brilliant head nurse, and five no less gifted nurses to bring her back to life.

Twenty damn hours to make her stable.

It was one of the most difficult and exhausting cases in his practice and the longest surgery he'd ever performed.

All he wanted now was to collapse on something horizontal, close his eyes, and not open them for at least six hours.

But he still had shit to do.

His personal PADD informed him that he had seven unread messages, all from Jim, demanding a report on Lee's status. The last one said 'Call me ASAP.'

McCoy allowed himself an exasperated growl. He wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath of Lee's games quite yet. He'd have to explain the decision to side with a criminal, he'd have to explain the decision not to follow the regulations. He'd have to explain a lot of things, and whether his position in Starfleet was going to save him from demotion was a very good question. Still, he'd have to face the consequences sooner or later, so why not now, when he was too tired to care?

So he commed his commanding officer.

"She's alive. But throwing her in a brig has to wait," he muttered after Jim's almost immediate answer.

"Don't mind the brig. Will she be alright?" Jim sounded relieved. He might be. It indeed looked like she'd helped them to avoid unnecessary casualties and wounds. They all owned her that.

"Yeah, even better after all this patchwork I had to do." McCoy grimaced at the thought of all tissues he had to strengthen and repair.

"Great. We'll discuss the situation after your rest. Now go to sleep, I don't want you on duty for the next two shifts. I am serious, two shifts. That's an order. Kirk out."

McCoy shook his head and put the comm. aside, slowly lowered himself on the couch and closed his eyes. Lee, screaming in pain, filled his vision immediately. He groaned, opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Despite the exhaustion, he couldn't sleep, not after that surgery.

He sighed. He'd been right when he'd called her a medical nightmare. But until now he hadn't realized the full extent of this truth. Almost all her internal organs were in a horrible state, which, paradoxically, couldn't be diagnosed with all the technology they had. Her tissues were extremely thin without an apparent reason, and they just couldn't see it. At the same time, any careless hit could have caused torn. McCoy had to harden all the tissues, and it had taken a hell of a lot of work.

And now he was staring at the ceiling and thinking about how poor her health really was.

She reminded him of Jim. The same disaster that other people call the immune system, more than one serious mental issue, and a long list of severe physical traumas.

She was also just like Jim when it came to decision-making. The same resilience, determination, thinking out of the box. And they both were like kids sometimes. Yes, she was just like Jim.

"Like Jim," McCoy said out loud.

And in an instant, everything just clicked. All the facts, guesses and hints were now lined in the terrible truth that must have been her life. When all the dots were in front of him, it wasn't hard to connect them, not really, not when he had almost the same story walking past him every day.

He called Jim again.

"Are you on the bridge?"

"No, in the ready room. Why?"

"I think I know who she is and where she comes from."

Silence. Then,

"You do?"

"Yes. I'll meet you in five minutes."

Five minutes later McCoy was in the captain's ready room. Jim was watching him curiously, and even Spock, who was there too, looked mildly interested. This really meant a lot.

"So?" the Captain prompted.

"Jim," McCoy carefully began, "Remember that night back in the bar? You said Lee's face looked familiar. Were you serious or just flirting?"

Jim tilted his head.

"Actually, she really reminds me of someone, but I have no idea of whom."

"Okay," McCoy said, feeling how the irrational hope that maybe he was wrong was fading, "So she looked familiar, and you couldn't recall where you've seen her before. But, you have a perfect memory, we all know that. You remember every face you've ever seen, even if it happened just once, even a long time ago."

Jim arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, that's me."

"So, it means that if you indeed met her, but can't recognize her now, maybe she looked different when you met."

"Bones, what are you implying?"

"I think you met her when you both were kids. She changed, but the resemblance is still there, so you recognized her."

"This is the most logical explanation," Spock put in.

"Damn right it is. Anyway. She is like you, Jim, she has all these allergies, psychological disorders…"

"Hey, I have none!"

"…One of them is PTSD for sure, and it has never been treated."

"And it means?"

"It means that at some point in her life she had a traumatic experience that gave her gray hair and made her panic every time strangers get close. Almost all her bones were broken when she was a kid. Her internal organs are just one big mess. And all of these allergies, thin organ tissues and the heart of an old lady can be the result of some event that affected the whole body. Like radiation, like poor ecology… like famine."

Jim was staring at him with his eyes wide-opened, realization forming in them.

"We didn't find anyone with her DNA," McCoy continued, "But we looked only on those who live now. What if she isn't supposed to be alive? Jim, did you search through that one classified archive we are never talking about?"

Jim's jaw tightened. He turned to his First Officer.

"Spock, check her DNA through the list of people who lived on Tarsus IV at the beginning of 2246."

The Vulcan frowned.

"Captain, I don't have this level of security clearance."

Of course. This list was classified, for the protection of those who outlived the massacre and for the Federation's own safety. Deceased people from this list were excluded from every archive, as the Federation was desperately trying to forget everything that had happened there. The Federation wiped these people out from every database, but some higher-ups still had access to the names of Tarsus victims. Jim was one of such higher-ups.

It took several seconds for the result to appear on the screen.

She didn't have gray hair and didn't smile, was almost two decades younger, but McCoy would know these eyes everywhere.

Lee's profile was short.

Name: Eileen O'Malley

Species: human

Date of birth: 2237.01

Place of birth: Dublin, Ireland, Earth

Date of death: 2246.02, aged 9.

Place of death: Tarsus IV

Executed on the orders of Governor Kodos, issue no. 387

So she had been there. She'd seen this massacre, was a part of it, was number 387 in this psychopath's list. Jesus, she had been there.

Well, it explained a thing or two. A compromised immune system, inability to trust people, and severe injuries of the past made perfect sense now.

McCoy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He felt a strange relief. Now, when the explanation was finally in front of him, he could manage the long-lasting consequences of it. Now they would talk this over. Tarsus IV didn't explain how she'd become a leader of the pirates, but it gave a clue why she'd turned into one.

And good God, Tarsus. It was a forbidden topic on the Enterprise. One of the greatest tragedies in recent history, famine on Tarsus IV wasn't an abstract disaster that happened somewhere on the Federation's faraway borders. Tarsus was a personal wound of each and every crew member of this ship, just because their Captain had been there. The Captain who never ever talked about it.

McCoy couldn't blame him. The famine that occurred on one of the farthest Federation's colonies wasn't the topic to discuss in the everyday conversation. And what was there to talk about, anyway? Everyone knew that when the lives of eight thousand colonists were put on the line, Tarsus's governor Kodos had made a brilliant decision to choose four thousand people who were valuable enough to live and murder four thousand who weren't. And everyone knew that, until now, there was the information about 9 survivors from the wrong list, James Kirk was one of them. There were only nine survivors, and there was nothing to discuss.

Although, there was obviously another one.

They were staring at the screen for a good minute.

Spock was the first to comment on the situation.

"Fascinating," he said.

McCoy opened his mouth to say that there was nothing fascinating in this at all, but Jim cut him out.

"No," he said, "No. This is impossible. She can't be alive. She just can't."

"But the individual on the screen and the woman we call Lee are clearly the same person, Captain," Spock objected, as calm as always. But the Doctor knew the Vulcan well enough to see distress in his eyes.

"It's her," McCoy said, desperately trying to prevent his voice from cracking and failing miserably, "I'd know those eyes anywhere. It's her. Remember her now?"

"Yeah," Jim sunk into his chair and rubbed his eyes, "I saw her execution. She couldn't possibly get out of it alive."

"Well, she clearly did, as you can see," McCoy snapped and looked at her profile closely.

There was a short bio stating the date of her arrival on Tarsus and the fact that she was the only one in her family sentenced to death. Apparently, her parents didn't want to give up on her that easily, so they tried to save her. They hid their only child, but Kodos's people found her. All the family had been executed.

Below the bio, there was a holovid. The title said one word: "Execution." With a trembling hand, he reached down to play it.

Jim stopped him.

"No," he said firmly, "You don't need to watch this."

"I must agree," Spock was suddenly at his side too, blocking McCoy from the screen, "We know your patient's name, the rest is clear from her body scan. You don't have to watch this, Doctor."

McCoy bristled and broke free from his friend's grip.

"I have to. She lived through it, I can at least watch it."

A grimace of pain crossed Jim's face.

"There's nothing good in it. Look, I remember her now. Her execution was public. Her parents - they were on a good list. She was not. They tried to protect her and failed. Kodos made a lesson out of it so that people, you know, wouldn't try to save the ones sentenced to death. There were other families who did the same. So Kodos took the kids and killed them in the main plaza. He made their parents watch, then killed them too. That's all, end of the story. You don't have to watch, I told you everything."

McCoy met his friend's eyes.

"But she stayed alive. The holovid will help to understand how she did it."

"We'll ask her how she did it when she wakes up."

McCoy took a deep breath.

"Yes, we will. But I have to know. Jim, please. I need to know."

The Captain held his gaze for several long moments, then sighed.

"Well, if I were you, I'd want to know too."

He nodded to Spock and the Vulcan stepped aside.

"Last chance to stop," Jim said quietly.

McCoy just shook his head and pressed play. He was pretty sure he'd regret it, but as he said, he had to see it.

Just because he loved her.

The holovid came to life, and they saw a plaza full of people. Famine had already taken its toll on them, so they looked more like ghosts, not like living people. They stood silently, and the only sounds there were quiet gusts of wind. Even the sentenced to death stood still, which accelerated the surreality of the scene even more.

The focus of the vid was on the middle of the plaza, on some kind of a stage where Kodos's people, five kids, and one big pillar stood. Lee was first in line, her clothes torn and face dirty. She was the youngest, while the rest of the kids were probably in their teens. The youngest, the smallest, and the first to face her fate.

She was more like a shadow than a real child, but McCoy recognized her anyway. He looked at her past self and couldn't believe that the confident, strong, stunning woman he knew had ever been that shaken girl he saw on the vid.

He fought back growing nausea and ordered himself to concentrate.

The show was going on.

Near the stage, there was a deep pit and eight people standing a little farther. The kids' parents, brought here to witness their children's death.

One of Kodos's soldiers stepped forward.

"These people," he shouted, pointing at the children, "Are traitors. They tried to steal your food, your means of survival. They tried to take away the chance to live from the people worth living, from you! They tried to prolong their miserable, expendable lives, at your expense. Governor Kodos did not let them do it. And today, we will show what happens to people who are trying to take your lives away from you. Today, we will show what happens to people fighting the new order."

He stepped aside and gestured to the huge man behind his back to step forward.

The executor, McCoy thought with disgust.

The man carried something remotely resembling a big hammer with an end the same size as Lee's head while she was separated from the rest of the kids and chained to the pillar.

McCoy felt cold sweat running down his spine. He remembered her body scan and knew what was about to come. He wasn't sure he was ready to see the truth anymore.

Still, his girl had lived through it.

So he gritted his teeth and kept watching.

The girl made one small weeping sound at the sign of the hammer raised above her head.

"Let justice begin!" The man who was talking before proclaimed.

And the hammer fell on Lee's right arm.

Her scream made McCoy shudder. No, it couldn't be real. No one could be that cruel.

The hammer rose again and fell on the girl's left arm. Her scream became a screech. She was struggling violently to break free, to get away from the hammer, but her chains held her firmly in place. No chance to escape, no chance to fight.

No chance to survive.

Another hit was meant for her left thigh. Her screech went higher in pitch, ringing through the silent plaza. Only one woman was sobbing, standing on her knees and begging for mercy, begging everyone, anyone, for help. Must be her mother, McCoy thought, imagining for a second that it was his daughter standing there, chained to a pillar, unable to fight a big man with a hammer that was smashing her every bone.

No one stood forward to end the torture.

The executor thoroughly broke Lee's legs, then gave a hard hit into her chest. Her screams got stifled, and she was coughing blood now. The bastard broke her ribs, and she was having a hard time to breathe, let alone scream. She probably couldn't move at all, with her bones dislocated and broken.

"This," the man who did all the talking said, "Is how our justice works."

And with one final blow, the hammer lowered onto her head. McCoy noticed that this time the hit wasn't strong. It was intended to cause damage, not to knock her out or break her skull entirely. They needed her conscious, he realized. They needed her to understand everything that was about to come.

They unchained her and threw her into the pit. One short weak scream rang through the plaza as she hit the ground hard, unable to protect herself in any way.

And the executor proceeded to the next kid.

In silence, three Starfleet officers, proud citizens of the United Federation of Planets, explorers of the Universe and advocates of peace watched the torture unfold. One by one, all the children went through the same torment and were thrown down. McCoy was watching the pit attentively, but no one left it. It wasn't possible, Jim was right. With such injuries, no one would be able to climb those walls.

Finally, all kids were at the bottom of the pit. They wept and wailed and screamed, and their voices formed a surreal, horrible cacophony of unbearable pain and despair.

It wasn't the end though. Kodos's men carried wood and threw it in the pit too. The realization of what was about to happen dawned at McCoy, and he almost threw up. No, no, no, it couldn't be. It was cruel, too cruel even for these devils.

The men generously poured some dark liquid into the pit, atop of the wood. Then one of them ignited a lighter and threw it down.

Well, no, not cruel enough.

Screams went frantic, as frantic as a living being burning alive may sound. McCoy had an irresistible urge to run out of the room right now to stop hearing these screams, or at least to turn away and not to look at the burning pit, but he made himself watch, in the memory of those who were set aflame there.

No one ever escaped the pit.

Several minutes later, when the screams stopped, children's parents were lined on the stage, all in different stages of shock.

"This is what will happen to everyone who opposes the new regime," were the final words to the crowd.

Then the kids' parents were shot in their heads.

The vid stopped.

McCoy felt the disgusting taste of blood and realized that he was biting his lip to stop himself from screaming. He wiped blood with a back of his hand and met Jim's eyes. They were hollow.

"See," Jim said, "No one's got out. They all should be dead. After the execution, they buried the pit, and everyone who might survive the fire must have suffocated."

"But she's alive," Spock muttered.

"Yes, she is," McCoy agreed.

He didn't know what else could be said here. So he turned on his heels and left the room, heading for his quarters. He knew what should be done now.

McCoy knew a lot of shock-relieving techniques. He was a doctor, for christsake. But he was also an idiot because he'd almost never used it himself. The only shock-reliever he accepted was currently splashing in his glass.

And yes, he was going to get absolutely, insanely drunk.

Did everyone who he held dear have to live through a disaster? There were two famines in recent Federation history, and his closest people were on both of them, Jim on Tarsus, Joanna on Cerberus. And now it turned out Lee was marked with this sign of doom too.

Jesus, she was just a kid. He remembered her full body scan, and the truth that it revealed made him drain his first glass in one gulp. He poured more and slowly lowered himself on the chair.

She had been beaten to death, burned, buried, but survived, and for seventeen years had been doing God knew what. Learning Klingon, apparently.

The door hissed, and Jim let himself in and took another glass.

"She'll be alright, you know," he said after a long pause, "She's a fighter, otherwise she'd never get out. She's a fighter and a damn good one."

McCoy didn't reply, so they were silent for a while. Then Jim spoke again.

"You're not the only genius in the room, you know. I'm capable of revealing our guest's identity too."

"What are you talking about?" McCoy asked impassively, without taking his eyes out of the bottle.

"You've discovered who she was at nine. I think I know who she is now."
"Why do I have a feeling I won't like this tale either?"

Jim huffed.

"Because it's not about fancy princesses and kind fairies. It's rather a tale about pirates and highwaymen."

McCoy poured the last drops to his glass and absent-mindedly noted how fast they drank a full bottle. He stood to bring them more booze.

"We've already suspected her being a criminal, and she proved it. Did you find anything specific?"

Jim sighed.

"Actually, yes, I did. Have you ever heard about the Fox?"

"Pointy-eared red dog? Yes, I think I have."

Jim snored.

"I mean the criminal with this nickname?"

"Of course I haven't. I'm a doctor, not a cop."

"Really? I didn't notice."

Jim barely avoided a slap in the head and shot McCoy a mischievous look. The Captain acted like a kid, but it soothed McCoy a bit, and he suspected it was the purpose of his friend's behavior.

"Anyway," Jim went on, "13 years ago someone robbed one of the Federation's main banks. Well, not exactly robbed, just transferred a huge sum on some fake account, then on another, and finally, it got out of the Federation. The trace ended somewhere near the Romulan Empire. It was an excellent work of a brilliant, experienced cyber thief who never got caught. Several similar cases occurred on other Federation planets, so Starfleet got involved. But they found nothing. As the first crime of this guy happened on Earth, they nicknamed the thief after an Earth animal."

Well, that was interesting. McCoy interrupted his staring into the glass and raised his head to look at Jim.

"How don't I know that? How didn't this crime of the century appear on the news?"

"High-ups usually don't like to show they've screwed up. And it was only the beginning. You see, when it's only about money, the officials worry but sleep well anyway. But when someone gets access to the most classified info, they are not so calm anymore.

So when the guy with the same hacker-style broke into Section 31 databases, they sounded the alarm. Someone stole several crucial technologies and didn't leave a trace. It was a year after the first crime.

Similar cases, with classified files stolen, kept on occurring for seven more years. Every time, it was a flawless cybercrime with the same stealthy style when you don't realize someone's reading your browser history until it's too late. Section 31 went on a hunt but fucked up every time the guy appeared here or there. And another interesting fact: all the info sooner or later ended up in the Klingons' hands."

McCoy didn't like what Jim was saying. Didn't like it at all.

"Then five years ago the hacks stopped. There were still cybercrimes, but all of them were solved, and none of them was Fox's. No one has seen such flawless breaking into the computer system since the guy's last breaking in. Not until yesterday."

Jim sighed.

"She hacked my ship with only one fucking PADD and spent about 5 minutes on breaking into the Federation's databases. The same speed, flawlessness, no traces, and these Klingon buddies… So, as Spock would have said, it is a logical conclusion that our little friend was stealing important information and giving it to the Klingon Empire. She is a spy after all."

McCoy closed his eyes with his hands and tried to think about it rationally. Jim was right, of course he was right. The kid spent a good part of his life in lower circles, he knew this kind of stuff. And he was a decent hacker himself to judge the others' work. The question of the hour was what would they do now.

"What are you going to do about this?" he asked.

Jim shrugged.

"I honestly have no fucking idea. She stopped breaking into everything five years ago, so maybe she retired. And I have no idea what she is now."

McCoy shook his head. Something was terribly wrong here.

"But she had to be thirteen at the time of her first crime."

"Do you think teenagers aren't capable of kicking the main Federation bank's ass? She's a genius, Bones. It has to be her."

Another thought came to his mind.

"And what about Tarsus? She was on the wrong list, not valuable enough. But Kodos wouldn't waste such talent. How did she even end up in that list?"

Jim's face darkened.

"I guess it's hard to tell what a kid would finally become. I checked her school records - she was just average. She never shone in any of her classes. Kodos couldn't predict her becoming the person we know today."

McCoy had nothing to say, so he drank. The blessed fuzziness of alcohol intoxication was finally hitting him. He welcomed this opportunity not to think, just for a while, just for a change, just to have a little break from everything that was happening now.

"Talk to her when she wakes up," Jim interrupted his drunken trail of thoughts, "Tell her we know who she is and that that's alright. Offer her to stay. If she agrees, we'll come up with something."

"We still don't know whether she was helping, or just going to shoot me in the head once we were done with her Klingons and run for the hills."

Something very gentle blinked in Jim's eyes.

"She wasn't about to flee, Bones," he said softly, "She was fighting for you and she saved you."

"What are you talking about?"

"That blow she missed… She missed it because she was trying to protect you. There was a pirate behind your back, he was no longer unconscious and was about to shoot you down. She allowed that big guy to hit her so she could throw that dagger. She knew exactly what would happen, but did it anyway. With a mind like hers, it wasn't just an instinct. It was a deliberate decision, weighted and assessed from different angles. If this is not the act of love, I don't know what is. She loves you, and this is as clear, as my shirt is golden."

Your shirt is yellow, you moron, McCoy wanted to say, but changed his mind and decided not to comment.

"She did what had to be done. Excellent quality for a Starfleet officer and your girlfriend." Jim said with a smile.

McCoy snorted. Right, girlfriend. His girlfriend was a Tarsus victim and a world-famous criminal. He knew how to choose a woman, that's for sure.

Jim drained his glass and stood, still smiling.

"Everything will be alright now, Bones. You'll see."

McCoy looked at his friend's calm face and reluctantly smiled back. Maybe Jim was right. Maybe everything would calm down and he finally would have an opportunity to know more about the woman he loved. Maybe they had the future. Maybe, maybe…

He put the empty glass aside and lied down. He fell asleep ten seconds later.