Welcome back! I'm so sorry that it's been almost two years since I've updated this story! I've never lost my passion for it, never fear; I've always come back to it over the past few years. Unfortunately, life always seems to get in the way. I graduated college in December of 2016, and almost immediately afterwards moved to a different state. My Illinois teaching license, it seems, does not quite qualify for Virginia without another test that I'll have to take. In the meantime, I've had to study for that and get a full time job to support myself and my family.
in addition to all of that boring, Real Life stuff, I also (I'll freely admit) got extremely nervous about this story and had to make some big decisions. Why, you ask? Because we're about to get to the parts where canon turns a little more sideways. I had to think hard about how I wanted this story to turn out, and there are some pretty big hints in this chapter. I hope you enjoy.
A couple of things: first, I really want to thank all of you for sticking with me and for your wonderful words of encouragement. Every time I got a review or favorite or subscription for this story, despite how long it had been since an update, it really touched my heart. I can't tell you how much it meant to me and how much it helped me get this chapter up.
second, if any of you are guys, you might be a little grossed out by the beginning of this chapter. Maybe. Let me just say, Nari is growing up. Don't worry though; there's more than that in this chapter. Stick around and I doubt you'll be disappointed.
Two days later, Nari woke up with a striking pain in her stomach. It was a crippling pain, causing her to double over as soon as she still tried to stand up. Clutching her stomach, Nari stumbled her way back to the bed. Crumbling down, Nari looked down at herself only to find that her nightgown was covered in blood. With the cry of dismay, Nari stripped off her nightgown and search for the wound. To her surprise, she found her thighs covered in blood.
I'm a woman now, she thought, distantly. Aunt Marian had explained womanhood to Nari on her tenth birthday, just before her aunt had fallen ill. As her eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth birthdays had passed without the bleeding that marked it, her aunt's words had fallen out of her mind, and neither Garrow nor Rosen had ever brought it up. Her fourteenth and fifteenth birthdays had passed without the bleeding, and Nari had wondered if she was barren, or if her hunting, which was a man's activity, had barred her from womanhood. Since she would not sacrifice helping her family in order to be able to bear children, she had pressed the thoughts far into the back of her mind.
Now, her thoughts spun wildly in her mind. She was bleeding, a woman grown, able to marry and bear children. She was no longer a child, to be indulged. Would Brom forbid her the sword and magic lessons now? Would he try to force her to give up her revenge against the Ra'zac, a duty which should belong to Roran? And what of Sapphira? What of the king?
Her mind swirled with panicked thoughts, the agony in her stomach overwhelming her body. She did not hear the knock on her door.
"Nari?" Brom's voice demanded. "Are you alright?"
Her throat closed up, unable to form words.
"Nari?!" A squeak escaped her throat, just loud enough to be heard. "I'm coming in," he shouted, the doorknob twisting and creaking open slightly.
"No!" Nari exclaimed, panicked. The door froze. "No," Nari repeated hurriedly, "don't come in."
"Nari, are you alright?" He demanded, the door unmoving.
"I-" She searched frantically. "I'm not feeling well. I'm going to stay in bed today."
"Is it your ribs again?" Brom urged. "Let me come in and have a look."
"No!" Silence echoed in the wake of her shout. "No, I'm fine. Just-just leave me alone please." She said, trying to sound calmer. She felt tears welling up in her eyes.
There was a long pause as Brom considered this. Finally, the door closed and Nari nearly wept in relief.
Slowly, moving gingerly, Nari began to clean herself. There was little she could do for her nightgown or the sheets, so she put those in a pile in the corner of the room. To her dismay, she found that the mattress underneath was stained as well. She put on two pairs of undergarments before dressing. Then she left the room, avoiding running into Brom and Joed. Down the hallway, she found one of the maids, and quietly informed her of the blood-soaked sheets, flushing a furious red. The girl gave her a sympathetic smile before patting her shoulder and walking away. More embarrassed, Nari darted back into her room and shut the door. She pulled Domia Abr Wyrda from her bedside table. She only had a small amount of the book left to read, but had planned to re-read her favorite parts and the most interesting ones.
Yesterday, she left the house only to visit Saphira, regaling the dragon with tales of the beginning of Alagaësia. The small time was not enough for either of them, but they enjoyed the little time they had together.
Nari reaches for Saphira now, wanting to share her news and her worries, but she could not feel her well. During the day, Saphira spent most of her time leagues away searching for food; she could not hunt near Teirm without arousing suspicion or risk of being seen.
A knock on her door broke her out of her thoughts and she darted to the door quickly, cracking it open. The maid she had spoken to stood outside, along with Joed's wife, Helen. Nari felt her cheeks heat and ducked her head, opening the door and stepping aside.
Helen stood inside the room quietly while the maid gathered the sheets and her gown.
"Make sure you bring cold water to scrub the mattress," Helen ordered the girl quietly as she went to leave. Then Helen turned her gaze to Nari. "Is this the first time you've bled?" Nari felt like she was on fire, but managed to nod. "Did your mother speak to you about this?" Nari glanced up in surprise.
"My aunt did," she told the woman. "But she died five years ago. I-I thought…" She stumbled over the words, uncertain of how to continue. Helen's eyes softened and she took a seat on a clean corner of the mattress. Silently, she patted the space next to her. "It's been five years now; I thought I might never bleed." Nari confessed in a whisper.
"It takes longer for some than for others," Helen told her gently. "You are so slender, I'm more surprised it did not take longer for you. No doubt your aunt wished for you to be prepared so you would not fear when the time did come." She sighed, gazing at Nari. "Your blood will come for several days," she began, "and then come again in a moon's turn. It may be more or less often, in these first few months as your body adjusts to womanhood, but it will be mostly the same amount of time between each blood after. Do you have pains in your stomach?" Nari flushed but nodded. "Women get those, to help prepare us for the birthing pains. Heat will help, and there are a few teas a herbalist can provide that will ease the pain as well. Do you wish for me to inform your uncle about this? I will be discrete." Nari eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously. Helen gave her a small smile. "Very well, I will leave it to you to inform him when you're ready. I will provide you with cloths that you can put inside your undergarments to protect them from staining. The maid will bring them to you. You may have her fetch me, or come speak to me yourself if you need anything more." She rose and headed for the door.
"Thank you," Nari blurted out. Helen gave her a small, sad smile.
"My mother died when I was young as well," Helen began. "I understand how it is to face these changes with only a man to care for you." With those words, she slipped out the door, closing it behind her quietly.
The maid came back soon after, carrying the cloths and a bowl of water. Nari quickly bent to help the girl scrub at the blood, despite her protests. The mattress was very wet after, but the blood had faded quickly, turning the water pink.
After the maid left, Nari quickly placed one of the cloths inside her undergarment, taking the second pair of. She stuffed the other cloths deep into her pack and grabbed the book again.
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It took her half the day to finish the little bit of the book left, the pain in her stomach distracting her constantly.
Once she reached the end of the book, she closed it and stood with a whimper.
Perhaps, she thought helplessly, she should visit the herbalist, as Helen had mentioned. If there was a tea that could ease the pain she felt, it may be worth the cost of it.
Decided, Nari grabbed her small coin pouch and left her room. To her quiet dismay, Brom caught sight of her on her way out.
"Are you well?" He asked quietly but firmly.
"I'm alright," she murmured, avoiding his eyes. "I think I was only tired."
He stood quietly for a moment. "Where are you headed?" He asked casually.
"Just to explore a bit," she said. "I won't be long."
"Very well then," he said. "I'll be in Joed's study if you need me." Nari nodded and slipped past him.
Stepping out into the street, Nari immediately turned to Angela's shop. The small shop was dimly lit and cluttered, though plants seemed to grow easily despite that, covering the walls. The long counter held various trinkets and tools. At the far end of the counter, a large shaggy cat rested, its eyes closed in sleep.
"Hello?" Nari called hesitantly. The cat's eyes opened, glancing at her lazily.
Hello, a voice in her mind responded. She glanced around, alarmed. The voice neither sounded nor felt like Saphira, and it didn't sound like Brom either. She turned her gaze to the counter a stared at the tarnished wood, blocking out all else. You don't have to do that, the voice told her, amused. It sounded male.
Who are you? She asked tentatively. The cat in front of her sat up and yawned.
I go by many names. You may call me Solembum.
"You said that?" She questioned disbelieving, eyeing the cat.
Who else? The cat stared at her, tilting his head.
She spluttered for a moment, staring.
"What-what are you?"
Solembum stood and paced down the counter to stand before her. Now that he was closer, she could see that he didn't look much like a true cat. His eyes were bright red and shining with intelligence, and his paws bigger than they should be. His body was lean but his oversized shoulders and shaggy mane disguised that at first glance. White fangs extended out of his mouth and down over his jaw.
Smart girl, he purred in her head. I am a werecat.
"A werecat!" She exclaimed, amazed. "I never thought I'd meet one of your kind."
Life does not often turn out the way we expect it will, Solembum remarked mildly. For myself, I did not expect a girl just turned a woman so far from home to stumble in and disrupt my nap. Nari flushed.
Before she can respond, the door behind her opens and Angela walks in carrying a bag of spices. Catching sight of her, Angela opens her mouth before closing it as her eyes dart to Solembum. She looked startled by his presence, and even more so when he begins to purr.
"He says he spoke to you," Angela says, a question in her voice.
"Yes. Is he yours?" Nari asks. Angela's eyebrows raise sharply and she laughs, startled.
"Oh, no. Werecats don't belong to any one person, you know. They come and go as they please. I'm lucky enough that Solembum enjoys my company enough that he lets me tag along. Werecats are a bit picky about the company they keep. He's only spoken to two other people who came in here. And now you. But I don't run this store just to have people listen to my prattle. Is there anything you want? Or did you just come to look?" Nari felt her cheeks flush again.
"Ah, Joed's wife, Helen, she said you might have a tea or something that might help with pain."
"Pain? Are you injured?" Nari flushed deeper and Angela began to chuckle. "Ah!" She exclaimed. "Your womanly time! Do you not have any remedies of your own?" Nari shook her head.
"It's...um…that is…"
Angela's gaze switched to Solembum for a moment before softening with understanding.
"Your first blood?" She asked. Nari nodded. "Give me just a moment," she said, moving around the room.
She gathered leaves from several plants, placing them into one of the bowls on the counter and mixing them together. She added a pinch or two of several different spices, stirring them in and grinding it all into a fine powder before stirring it again. Nari watched with fascination. When she appeared finished, she grabbed a small cup of water. Glancing into the bowl, Nari found a surprisingly large amount of spice.
"You just need a pinch of it every day that your pains come," Angela said, taking a small amount from the bowl and adding it to the water. "One pinch a day, mixed with warm water. Any more and you might end up sleeping your life away!" Nari took the cup and took a tentative sip. The warmth of the water spread from her throat, down her chest, and into her stomach. Almost immediately, the pain started to ebb away. She sighed in relief, taking another sip and another until the cup was empty. When she finally looked up, she saw that Angela had placed the rest of the powder into a pouch.
"Two crowns," Angela told her promptly, and Nari paid it without bothering to barter.
"Thank you," Nari told her fiercely. The woman smiled.
"Of course. Now there's one more thing before you go. One moment." She darted into the room at the back of the shop and returned a few moments later with a leather pouch and a cloth she spread across the counter. "These," she began solemnly, "are the knucklebones of a dragon." Nari gaped at her, stunned. "No, don't ask me where I got them; I won't tell you. They are extremely powerful and magical objects, very valuable. I can cast them for you and tell your future if you wish; they do not lie. But understand, to know one's future can be a horrible, painful thing. It is not something done lightly."
"Why would you offer me this?" Nari asked, stunned. Her mind swirled with possibilities. On one hand, to know her future could give her strength to face what was to come. But on the other, what if the knowledge was awful? If the bones truly did not lie, there would be no way to change the fate they saw. To know the horrors and tragedies of her future, long before they came, and have no way to prevent them could be a torture in itself.
"Because of Solembum. The fact that he spoke to you means you're special. As I mentioned, he's only spoken to two others in our many years together. I offered to do this for them as well. The first was a woman, many years ago. She was older than you. The other was a blind beggar, but that one didn't agree to do it. The woman did though. Selena was her name. She regretted it afterwards though. I can't blame her; her future was a painful one. She didn't believe it, though I'm sure she came to, later."
"Selena?" Nari asked quietly. "How long ago was this? Do you remember anything of what you told her?"
Angela gave her a sharp look but shook her head. "It must have been twenty years ago now, and my memory isn't as good as it used to be. Even what details I do remember, I won't tell you. Each person's future is their own." Nari nodded distractedly. That would have been only two years after she left Carvahall, Nari pondered. And yet, despite it, she stayed with Morzan for another four years before returning.
Her mother had been here, in this very shop. Perhaps she had stood in the very spot Nari was standing in now, contemplating Angela's words as Nari was doing. Angela said her Selena had not believed her fortune. Had it been a spot of amusement for her mother, something noble people did in big cities? Or did Solembum's words persuade her to try? Was it only after the horrible telling that Selena disbelieved, refusing to believe how her life would turn out? Did she regret leaving Carvahall behind?
"I…" Nari hesitated, wondering. Then, squaring her shoulders, she nodded. "Cast the bones for me," she requested solemnly. She refused to hide from this. She would not disbelieve, as her mother had. She would face what was ahead without flinching.
Angela's face became grave. She took the bones in her hands. For a moment, her mouth moved silently, her eyes she spoke: "Manin! Wyrda! Hügin!" With the last word, she released the bones, scattering them onto the cloth. They fell, jumbled together and overlapping.
Memory, Fate, Thought, Nari translated. Angela had used the ancient language.
Nari watched as the woman studied the bones, growing more nervous with each passing moment.
"This," Angela said finally, "is the most complicated reading I've ever done. So much depends on the choices you will make, which is lucky for you. We don't all have so much control over how our lives will turn out. At the same time, it can be a terrible thing, to know that we are solely responsible for the bad that happens to us. And there are many things here that could be just as awful as they could be good. Still, there are more things I can say for sure than you would expect from such a difficult reading." She studied the bones again as Solembum approached curling his tail around Nari's arm.
"We will start here. The circle, torn in two by the lightning bolt. A great task lies before you, one you cannot escape. Death, grief, and destruction lies within; you cannot escape it until the task is complete. But you will live to see it's end, though whether you will succeed or fall I cannot determine." Her finger moved to another set of bones. "The pine tree, an open book at its base, illuminated by the candle. Someone close to you is guilty of hiding knowledge from you. You will discover the cause sooner than you think." Her fingers traced some of the other bones, careful not to disturb them. "Two times the holly and blackthorn trees combine. Twice, someone close to you will be in a danger that may lead to their death in a time where the only way to save them is for you to push aside your own fears and doubts. You will have to risk yourself to save them, and even then I cannot say if they will live."
Taking a breathe, Angela reached under the counter to pull out a wineskin. She offered it to Nari, who shook her head, hands shaking and fingers trembling. Replacing the drink, Angela turned back to the bones.
"Here we have the hourglass. A hard decision lies before you. And over here we have the knife, touching the mask. One who presents themself as your ally will be an enemy. Overlooking them may lead to a great tragedy in your life."
"There are two more that I can see clearly enough to read. Here is the willow and the rose pressed close together, but hidden behind a fence. There is a love filled with great joy in your future, but many obstacles stand in your way. You must overcome them, or this love will be beyond your reach. And finally, we have the sailing ship at the beginning of a forked line. At the end of one side rests the Apple, while the other side leads to an iceberg. There is a great journey ahead of you, but a choice must be made. One decision will lead to an abundance of happiness and good fortune, while the other choice will lead to the destruction of all you have worked towards."
With a great sigh, the woman sat back and stared at her, examining her. Nari stared back, unable to speak. Her mind whirled in circles, unable to process everything at once. Her hands shook.
Hours later, she wandered back into Joed's home, mind buzzing. She had left Angela's shortly after her future had been told and wandered the streets, trying to process everything. Unfortunately, very few of the things Angela had said would make sense until the time came. Nari could only hope to make the best choices she could with the knowledge she had.
Brom caught her not long after she returned, forcing her to eat before dragging her out behind Joed's house, swords in hand. The servants, along with a small crowd of wide-eyed children, gathered around to watch not long after they began. Nari spotted the maid who'd helped her earlier (had that only been this morning?) and wondered what they thought of letting a girl spar, for Brom still had not relented to allow her to wear her bindings again. She was touched at the concern, but worried about what would happen when they left.
That evening after dinner, Nari curled up in her new sheets and read through The Gate to Knowledge. She had many words filled in on the lines, and some she could guess at from the sentences themselves, so long as she knew most of the other words. She always checked with Brom about her guesses before she filled them in, though. When Brom finished speaking with Joed, he visited her in her room and taught her new words from the Ancient Language, and useful spells. She enjoyed this time with him more than the sparring, reminded of their many lessons in his home in Carvahall.
They fell into a pattern following her visit with Angela. In the mornings, she would put a pinch of the powder Angela had given her into a cup of water and drink it before changing her clothes and heading down to breakfast. After breakfast, she'd return to her room or to Joed's study to read or contemplate Angela's words. After lunch, she and Brom would spar until they were both worn out. Then Brom would retreat to Joed's study and Nari would head out to visit Saphira until dinner. After dinner, she would study the ancient language, with or without Brom, until it was time to sleep.
Her days remained the same until the day after her bleeding finally ended. That morning, Brom summoned Jeod and Nari to the study.
"We've given him time to forget my questions. Now is the time for us to move ahead."
"What do you have in mind?" asked Nari.
A fierce smile danced on Brom's face. Jeod groaned. "I know that look; it's what got us into trouble in the first place."
"A slight exaggeration," said Brom, "but not unwarranted. Very well, this is what we'll do. . . ."
We leave tonight or tomorrow, Nari told Saphira that afternoon, enclosed in her room. Brom has instructed her not to leave the city today, so they could rest until tonight.
This is unexpected. Will you be safe during this venture?
Nari shrugged. I don't know. We may end up fleeing Teirm with soldiers on our heels if this goes ill. Nari felt Saphira's worry and tried to reassure her, guiltily. We'll be alright. Brom and I can use magic, and we're good fighters. We won't be alone, not with Jeod there. Besides, this is what we wanted.
Nari lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Despite her words to Saphira, her hands shook slightly, and there was a lump in her throat. As sleep overcame her, she felt a wave of confusion.
I want this life, she suddenly realized. The time I've spent here has been better even than the time I spent in Brom's home. I have been able to be myself like I couldn't in Carvahall, and it's een peaceful like it couldn't be on the road. The only thing missing is Saphira's constant presence. What I would give to have a home where we could be safe and together. To build a life without fear.
Another thought caused rage to course through her; I'll never be able to have that. Saphira and I will never be able to find a place where we can be together without being hunted at every turn. Not unless the king dies. So he must die, her mind concluded.
Dreams owned her consciousness, twisting and directing it to their whims. At times she quaked with fear; at others she laughed with pleasure. Then something changed —it was as though her eyes had been opened for the first time—and a dream came to her that was clearer than any before.
Nari saw a young woman not much older than she, bent over by sorrow, chained in a cold, hard cell. A beam of moonlight shone through a barred window set high in the wall and fell on her face. A single tear rolled down her cheek, leaving only the barest traces behind. Nari jolted awake, lifting a hand to her face to find herself crying uncontrollably before she sank unwillingly back into a fitful sleep.