"Oh my poor Elsa," Anna says quietly. The litch paces in brisk little circles, winding her hands into the hem of her shirt. Anna thinks she looks like a caged animal desperate to find a way- any way- out. She turns toward Anna at the words and the intelligence behind Elsa's beautiful blue eyes is dim and panicked and uncomprehending.
Elsa is muttering something beneath her breath, but Anna can't quite make it out. Then something seems to connect, a dull half-seeing intellect behind those sapphire eyes but at least there's something there.
"Anna?" Elsa stills for a moment then goes back to worrying at her shirt. "Lost and… worried, and sorry? And didn't mean to wander off, and don't let them take me."
"Shh," Anna steps in close, and glares at the stout police officer. "Shh, it's all right, no one is going to take you anywhere." But Elsa steps quickly back.
"No!" She says forcefully. "I…" Elsa frowns. It's on the tip of her tongue, so she tries again. "I… am not to hurt."
"Not to hurt?" Anna glances at Kristoff. He shrugs. "Not to hurt me?" Anna asks. "I know you won't hurt me."
"No," Elsa bites her lip. "Not to hurt. Can't hurt again. Please…" The last words come out as a whisper. "I'm so tired."
"It's alright," Anna says. The way Elsa stands there, like a bird trying to decide if it's too hurt to fly away, breaks Anna's heart. Like a violent, desperate, sucking sort of breaking. The kind of heartbreak that makes you want to curl up in a corner and sob until it goes away, or maybe just to find whoever's responsible and do terrible things to them. Anna isn't sure which.
Elsa hugs herself, it looks like she's trying to hold herself together. She directs a few worried glances at the police officer, but he seems content to give them their space. Anna steps closer, and Elsa steps back again. The litch looks at her warily, and Anna is torn. Does she hug the litch, or would that scare Elsa even more? Give her some space, or does she need closeness?
"I'm not going to hurt you," Anna says, steps in yet again. "It's alright," before Elsa can back up again, Anna wraps her arms around the old litch's delicate frame. Anna can feel every bone jabbing into her, grinding against its neighbors. Every bone except her sternum… Anna blushes at the fullness pressing against her own narrow chest, but this is about comforting Elsa, and Anna can keep her mind out of the gutter for a few minutes. Probably. "Els," Anna says. Elsa stands there stiffly, unmoving. "I know you've been hurt by a lot of people. I know people have done some really really fucked up things to you, but I won't. I do stupid things, and I make mistakes, and I can't promise that I won't accidentally do something dumb, but I will never try to hurt you. Do you understand?"
Elsa stands still for a long moment. It's odd, Anna thinks, to hug someone who doesn't breathe, someone who doesn't have a heartbeat. Like hugging a doll. "Understand," Elsa's face is screwed up in concentration. "But people are not always… meaning to hurt. Sometimes…" she has to pause every few words to keep on track. It's clear that it takes a monumental effort, and Anna is careful not to interrupt. "Sometimes, people hurt when they don't mean to. People… one day, you are to hurt. You…" Elsa flaps her arms awkwardly out the sides of Anna's tight hug. "You will… you'll see what I am. You'll…" Elsa stops talking. Anna can't tell if that's because she's done, or if she just can't remember what she was trying to say.
"I know you're dead," Anna says. She doesn't let go. "If that bothered me, I wouldn't be here. If that bothered Kristoff, he wouldn't be here either."
"His shop," Elsa mutters almost sullenly. And then, as if she had suddenly remembered what she had meant to say, "You know I'm… you know dead, but you haven't seen. Don't know what it means."
"And when I do see what it means or whatever, you'll see I don't care." Anna smiles as hopefully as she can, and turns to the policeman. "Uh, thanks for bringing her back," Anna says. "You don't need to see our paperwork or anything, right? Because, I mean, we totally have all the paperwork and I can go get it for you?"
"Nah," the officer says, and his voice sounds like he's trying to gargle rocks. "But err. Some o' m'coworkers. They might need to see some paperwork, ya' understand?"
"Yeah," Anna nods. "I get it. We submitted it. Should be getting the licenses or certificates or whatever in the mail any day now…"
"They've been takin' their sweet time gettin' back to people," the officer grunts. "Bit of a cluster fuck. You'd think there'd be a bit of a grace period if they wanted people like her to get their paperwork in order. But ya' know, I don't think they really do want people like her to get their shit sorted." He shrugs. "M'brother-in-law's like her. What a cluster. I been tellin' 'im he needs to stop having stupid days. Draws too much attention. Few of my coworkers? They migh' not really care that you DO have your paperwork, understand? Stubborn old bastard won't listen when I say he needs to be careful. You tell your litch. No more stupid days, m'kay? She does whatever she's gotta, kay?"
"Yeah," Anna nods vigorously. She catches Kristoff's firm head bob in the corner of her eye. "That's… magic? She's gotta magic, or whatever proper grammar is?"
"Think so," the policeman shrugs. "I ain't dead, an' Po don't like talking about it. Look, kid, I got patrols an' shit. Just wanted to make sure she was safe."
"Sure," Anna agrees, and takes Elsa's hand as much for the comfort as to make sure the absent little litch doesn't wander off. "Uh, quick question before you go? You know a litch, it sounds like he gets off days, does he ever… remember… his off days?"
"Nah," the officer shrugs. "Don't seem to. Why you ask?"
"No reason," Anna scowls as if daring him to disagree. "Thanks again for taking care of Elsa."
"Police have an oath to protect and serve," the stocky officer blushes furiously. "I jus' happen to remember the serve part." He hurries out of the little shop.
"Elsa?" Anna turns to the little blond litch. Elsa blinks owlishly back at her.
"No Dachau?" Elsa asks.
"No Dachau," Anna confirms- oh if only there were still some Nazis to punch…
Elsa seems to collapse into herself. "No Dachau," she mutters. "No Dachau."
"Elsa," Kristoff looms abruptly behind Anna like an overprotective oak tree. "Can you gather up all the dirty dishes?" He points at the scattered porcelain littering the abandoned tables. "Remember not to drop any, ok?"
"Don't drop any," Elsa bites her lip. "Kristoff said I did good. I don't drop things."
"Good," Kristoff smiles encouragingly. Elsa busies herself with the dishes, and the big barista rounds on Anna. "She tries real hard. You're not going to hurt her."
"Of course not!" Anna stands on her tiptoes so that Kristoff doesn't tower quite so far over her.
"Why were you asking if she would remember?" Kristoff demands.
"I was curious!" Anna protests. "The more I know about her the better I can help keep her safe. Promise!" She looks at her shoes.
"Really," Kristoff says. He folds his thick arms across his broad chest.
"Really," Anna insists.
"That's funny, because I don't believe you," Kristoff scowls. "You want to keep working here, you tell me the truth. Let me be crystal clear with you, the only reason you have a job here is to look out for her. You give me reason to think you're not good for her, you're gone."
"I was going to kiss her!" Anna says. "Happy? I like her. Like, really really like her, and I thought, if she won't remember, I can kiss her. Is that what you want?"
Elsa stands completely still.
"You were going to kiss her," Kristoff says. His voice is low and dangerous. "When she won't remember. When she doesn't know up from down? Can't even remember what goddamn century it is, and you were going to take advantage of her? How is that different than a roofie?"
"Jesus, not like that," Anna shudders. "How could you think like that? I meant, if I kiss her, and she's like 'ew gross Anna go away,' then she won't remember tomorrow, and I never do it again, and continue being her friend and not ruin everything! She won't have to feel awkward around me and we can just all forget about it! And if I kiss her and…" Elsa has edged closer. Anna scowls.
"Oh," Kristoff says. "Yeah. Ok. Good." He uncrosses his arms. "For a second there, I thought…"
"No," Anna says. "Jesus. I would never hurt Elsa. Uh, hey Elsa, we're not talking about you behind your back or anything."
The litch stands there, head tilted awkwardly, big blue eyes staring unblinking.
"Did you pick up all the dirty dishes?" Kristoff asks gently.
"No," Elsa says, and doesn't move.
"Uh, can you go pick up the dirty dishes please?" Kristoff stoops a little so he doesn't seem quite so intimidating.
"No," Elsa says again. Kristoff scowls. "Anna?" Elsa asks. She carefully sets down the dishes she has already collected.
"Yes Elsa?" Anna glances nervously at Kristoff.
"No kisses," he mouths silently.
"Um," Elsa looks around like a drowning sailor searching for a lifeline. "You…" she frowns with concentration. "You said… stupid dead thing. Think right… you said, uh, you like me?" She smiles shyly through a curtain of her hair.
"Yeah," Anna says. "You weren't supposed to hear that."
"Hear it," Elsa repeats. "Yes. I… Ich liebe Anna. Uh. Don't let me forget. Please."
"Don't let you forget what?" Anna asks. She glances helplessly at Kristoff.
"You said," Elsa frowns with concentration. "You said, I'm not going to remember tomorrow? That's why… today? You said it today? So I would forget?"
"Yes," Anna nods slowly. "What do you…"
"Don't want to forget," Elsa cuts her off desperately. "Don't let me forget. Lass mich nicht vergessen. Ich liebe dich und du liebst mich. Lass mich nicht vergessen."
"Elsa, I don't speak German," Anna says gently. Elsa's eyes are wild, like an alleycat backed into a corner.
"Anna," Kristoff snorts. "You're an idiot. You don't need to speak German to… here. Elsa, I won't let you forget Anna said she likes you. Is that what you want?"
"Yes!" Elsa yells. "That's… I said… that's why…" she frowns. "Can't remember," she mutters. "Can't remember. Was important."
"It's ok," Kristoff says gently. "We'll remind you. We remember."
"Was important," Elsa repeats.
"We'll remember for you," Kristoff says. "Shh. It's ok."
"Not ok," Elsa grumbles. "Not… you wanted… dishes?"
"Yes, Elsa," Kristoff says. "Gather up the dishes please. Be careful you don't drop any."
"Careful," Elsa agrees easily.
AN: holy freaking crap. A hundred followers for ten chapters? Thank you all for making this my most popular story yet! I've always seen stories that get ten follows a chapter as having this unattainable popularity. It's always been the line in my mind between "bleh normal fanfic" and "wheee popular" and I never thought I would be able to cross that line, so thank you all so so much.
On a different note, this story has been a bit of a marathon of depression, but you needn't fear, there is SOME happiness planned for future chapters. I can't promise they will all be happy, and I can't promise that bad things won't happen, and I don't want to give spoilers, but there will be some happiness. Also, it should be noted that I somehow borked up the year that Apollo 11 launched. I think it was a typo, not shitty research, but anyway thanks to the guest reviewer who pointed that out. The year has now been corrected.
I hope you all enjoyed. If you are a new reader, it would mean the world to me if you could follow, so I can keep up that ten-per-chapter trend, and if you've been reading for a while, you know I love hearing your thoughts…