heyo so long time huh? i was chatting with the rest of the jolex groupchat girls and they said a lot of stories get read here instead of on tumblr or ao3 for the jolex fandom so i figured ill triple cross post this. its on my ao3 at the same user as this or on my Tumblr cicinicole-14 :) im gonna post the first 3 chapters here today since they're already up everywhere else and that way ill be caught up with the cross posts.

Part One

She's never been this nervous before; this scared.

She applied and got accepted to Princeton, she lived in her car for years as a teenager, she ran away from an abusive ex, she took and passed her surgical boards exams, yet never has she been this nervous and scared as she sits on the closed lid of the toilet, staring at the timer on her phone slowly ticking down three minutes.

Soon it's two.

And then one.

Then seconds.

She has seconds left before her whole world could change. Before her whole world can completely flip and alter on its axis.

The seconds tick down and before she can even take a breath, it rings.

She freezes.

Staring down at the white and blue stick on the bathroom counter. She keeps it face down as she feels the nausea rising in her throat.

The butterflies in her stomach seem to wake and flutter around as she feels her heart beating so fast in her chest in the silence of her loft.

She's entranced, staring at the test when a chime interrupts her thoughts and she glances down at her phone, opening the text.

Meredith Grey: did you take it yet?

Before she can even finish reading another text pops up right below.

Meredith Grey: what did it say?

Jo?

Do you need me to come over?

Am I booking tickets to Kansas to kick Alex's ass?

All Jo can do is swallow the lump in her throat as the white stick stares back at her, feeling like it's boring right into her soul.

She doesn't know how long she stares at it, but there's suddenly a knock at her door, ripping her away from the bathroom.

She slides the door open, in a daze, letting the blonde in.

"You haven't replied to my texts in over twenty minutes. I got worried. Did you look at the test? Are you pregnant or not?" Meredith asks, setting her purse down on a side table.

Jo shakes her head.

"You have to take another then. They're only accurate within a few minutes. Now, go pee again." She insists, giving Jo a gentle shove towards her bathroom.

Meredith waits on the couch, talking aimlessly to Jo through the bathroom door, but Jo doesn't register much of anything she says until Meredith slides the bathroom door open.

Jo's slightly shocked face makes her roll her eyes. "You flushed almost two minutes ago. I figured you were decent. Now, let me see the test. It's been three minutes by now." She says, holding her hand out expectantly.

Jo places the stick in her palm before sitting down on the toilet lid again.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I know it's going to be positive." She takes a shaky, weak breath as tears well up in her brown eyes. "He left. He left to raise kids in another state and leaves me knocked up. What do I even tell him? This sounds like a cry for him to come back but I don't even know if I want that. He, he wrecked me, Meredith. He promised he would never leave me, ever. He stuck by me through all my shit with being admitted, we got remarried for god sakes, and then he leaves. Leaves me pregnant with his kid. What do I do?"

The second timer on her phone chimes and Meredith holds the stick back out to her. "You look at the test, and do whatever you want. If you're pregnant, you don't have to keep it. You have options. You also don't even have to tell Alex, but you need to look at the test, and know that I'll be here to support you in whatever decision you choose, though I would recommend telling Alex, but that's not my decision to make."

Jo nods, reaching for the test. "Thank you, Meredith."

She looks down at the test again before flipping it over, ripping off the bandaid.

The tears sting at the edge of her eyes as she reads the results on the tiny screen in bold black letters.

Pregnant.

Her heartbeat echoes in her head.

She sets the test down with shaking hands, face up so Meredith can read the results, knowing her voice would fail her if she tried to speak.

She feels Meredith wrap her arms around her shoulders and pull her in for a tight hug, saying something, but Jo doesn't register the words as she tucks her face into Meredith's shoulder and lets the tears finally fall.