Chapter 17 - Unforeseen Truths

The Eravana

Edge of New Republic Space

Han worked the hovercraft, his hands gripping the controls tightly with whitening knuckles as he berated himself for bringing that damned monster on the ship. How could he have been so stupid? Luke had even shown him one years ago and he'd somehow missed it. Stupid, like he had been back in Mos Eisley.

Truth was, he'd been lucky. If Greedo hadn't tried to take him alive… he shrugged off the thought. If there was one thing he still had, it was luck. It was the thing that had brought them here, and it was the thing that was going to get them out of it. But those words ran hollow when he looked at the paling Rey.

He felt the terror on her face a thousand fold. She wasn't his kid, but she damn well still felt like it. He looked ahead and pulled on the brake, bringing them over to the ships medbay and Chewie was off with her at a run.

When they finally caught up, he already had her plugged into several vital scanners and an IV drip for the shock.

"How's she doing, Chewie?" Han asked. Chewie didn't answer at first, instead checking her vitals again until he nodded with a grim satisfaction.

"It'll take some time, but the drugs should help her body shrug off the effects of whatever the hell spell that thing put on her."

"I hope you're right," Han sighed as he settled into a chair, his hand perched against his head, "after three years, I not only found a Jedi, but her of all people. I am not gonna lose her again."

At that moment, Poe and Finn walked into the room. They immediately moved to her side, doing exactly what Chewie had been doing not ten seconds earlier. Chewbacca growled for them to sit, and they rigidly obeyed like sulken cats.

"So… how long is this thing gonna last?" Poe asked Han.

"You're asking the wrong person kid. Figures, too. I find my son's sweetheart just as I'm transporting that damn monster," he slammed his fist into the arm rest, ready to throw the whole thing, too. "Cale would never forgive me if anything happened to her on my watch."

"Sir, you wouldn't happen to know where he or… well, anybody else is?"

Han gave him something of an annoyed look, "If I did, I most certainly would not be out here with a damn Terentatek on this damn freighter."

Suddenly, Rey let out a sudden cry of pain and everybody was around her. She writhed in agony, her face a mess of tears.

"Chewie, what the hell is going on!?" Han cursed.

"It's the last stages of the spell. A sort of last party gift," he spat out the words with spite, "it pulls up the worst memories you have and forces you to relive them like you're actually there."

BB-8 translated that for Poe, and he shook his head. "Why the hell would it do that? Isn't it enough that he practically froze her like a popsicle?"

"It's a Sith creation," Chewie explained through the droid, "killing Jedi is what it's designed to do and those scuttas wanted to make sure it was as painful of an experience as possible. If it couldn't kill you, then it sure as the shadow lands would make you hurt."

"No… no…" Rey panted as she twisted her head back and forth, gripping the sheets of with ice cold fingers until she shrieked, "NO! CALE, PLEASE!"

Now everything around them not bolted down was sent flying. As they ducked under the barrage, Rey began slamming her head into the bed over and over. Han rushed over, trying to stabilize her.

"YOU MIND GIVING ME A HAND HERE!?" he bellowed. They quickly secured her extremities before she could hurt herself, ignoring the writhing as she thrashed the room with her uncontrolled telekinesis. A long minute passed as she finally settled back down, muttering something they couldn't hear as fresh tears streamed down her face.

Han gently took her by the cheek, soothing softly. "It's okay. You're gonna be alright. You're safe. It's gonna be okay."

"I don't get it," Poe said suddenly, "Cale talked about her like he was ready to propose. Why would her worst memory be of him?"

"I don't know," Han sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, "maybe it has something to do with what happened at Antiga."

There was a hint of doubt and dread in his voice. He had known the type of terror that came with love. But this… this had sounded different. Something so terrible that he wanted to dismiss all together. But it was still there, lingering in the back of his mind.

"Han…" Rey reached out for him, "Han…"

He took her hand in his own. "I'm here."

"Han… alone. I need to be…"

"Okay. We'll leave you-"

"Not… you. Stay, please. I… I need to tell you…" and she choked up again. Han nodded and gestured. Reluctantly, Poe, Finn and BB-8 filed out of the room. All except for Chewbacca.

"Chewie…"

"Whatever she has to say to you, she can say to me."

Han nodded, looking down at the fear-haunted Rey as he waited for her to gather her strength again. When she did, he almost wished she hadn't.

"Cale was at the Temple."

Han's eyes went wide, "What are you talking about? Cale disappeared at Antiga-"

"He came back, Han. He came back when the First Order made their public appearance at the Committee. Before the Temple was attacked."

Han studied her eyes, trying to see if there was anything left of the Terentekel's spell left in her. There wasn't. The fear there was far too focused and clear to be addled ravings.

"Why did he come back?" he finally asked, the real question being why he hadn't he told him or Leia.

"I don't know," she said at length, her voice becoming a mewling moan, "I was in my quarters when he came to me. He was… changed. I don't know how, but I could see it in his eyes, his face. He..." she squeezed her eyes shut as she let out a strained breath, "I could feel it in him, Han."

"Feel what?"

"The Darkness," she then latched onto Han's hand with fingers as cold as ice, "like it had been at Antiga but worse. So much worse. It was as though his soul was being torn two ways and… and I couldn't even see who was winning."

"Rey, what did he do?"

"Han…" she pleaded before he snapped.

"What did he do?!" He stopped himself short, fighting back the growing desperation. He rubbed his hand through her hair again, soothing, "I'm sorry, Rey."

She took his hand again, her face devolving into a terrified mess until she finally found the conviction to say what needed to be said. "He betrayed us. He brought the enemy to the Temple."

It was like a bolt of lightning had struck him in the heart. "Rey… no, that can't be. My son… Rey, this has gotta be a mistake. This is just the Terentek's spell talking."

"It's not," Chewie shook his head, "she's in perfect control of her functions and her mind. What she says is the truth."

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Han screamed, "I refuse to believe it."

"Han, it's true," Rey whimpered as her eyes became pink with tears, "when he came to me, he told me to run. He told me to run and hide and that he was sorry for what he was about to do. About what he had to do… and then he was gone."

"What do you mean he was gone?" Han shook her shoulder, "Stay with me, Rey. What do you mean he was gone?"

"He was never there," she whispered, "It was just a projection. A trick. He was somewhere altogether. And when he went, so did the lights and they…" she then began to sob again, "oh stars! They started killing us!"

"Who? Who was killing you? Who?"

"Red blades," she managed to get out through her sobs, "and ships down on us! We tried… I tried to fight them, Han. But I couldn't. Oh Force!" and Han took her face into his shoulder, comforting her as she wailed, "I ran away! I ran and hid like a stupid, stupid coward!"

"Don't say that," Han growled as he took her mess of a face in his hand, "you are not a coward. You hear me? You are brave and honest and strong, and I don't wanna hear you talking like that again."

"But I did," she blubbered, "I ran while so many others died. Han… I don't even know if my own father is alive."

"He is," Chewie replied, "I know he is. Your father is the toughest man I've ever met… no offense, Han."

"Chewie, do I look like I punch Krayt Dragons to death just for the helluvit? He's more than earned that title. Still," he turned back to Rey, "you're alive. And that's what matters."

"Because Cale warned her. Regardless of what happened, he took the time to warn her."

"Yeah… but why? Why would he do all of this in the first place? Why?"

Rey didn't have an answer for that. All she could do was bury her face in Han's shoulder and cry, and it was all Han could do to comfort her...

(Page Break)

Poe slumped against the deck wall, a look of betrayal and defeat on his face.

"I don't believe it," he deflated, "I just don't believe it."

"Poe… that wasn't right of you, or us," Finn growled, jutting a finger at BB-8 who disengaged his auditory equipment from the junction wall, "you had no right to do that."

"I had to know, Finn," Poe glared up at Finn with an icy glare, "he was my friend. I had to know."

"It wasn't for us to know. If she did-"

"He. Was. My. Friend," with each word, Poe rose to his feet and faced him with a rage that Finn had never once seen before. It was a rage that he had never felt Poe capable of. And for once in his life, Finn felt afraid.

"I understand that, but-"

"No, you don't understand!" Poe cut him off sharply, "I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him. I would still be rotting in an Antigan cell somewhere, getting beaten and tortured and starved, day in and frickin' day out until they finally decided to put a bolt in my head!"

"And he saved you?"

"He and Ben. When just about everybody else thought I was dead!" he emphasized his point by slamming his fist into the wall, growing louder and louder with each syllable, "but not them. They risked everything to pull me out of the cell, to get me home… and now? Now it turns out that my friend is frickin' traitor!"

He slammed his fist again into the wall, Finn seeing blood on his knuckles.

"You wanna know how long I spent looking for him and Kali when they went missing? Six months! SIX MONTHS! And all this time, it turns out he was working for the enemy! That he led them right to 'em! That he destroyed the Jedi! How the hell am I supposed to feel about that, huh!?"

Finn didn't have an answer for him. Poe just stood there, looking at him with an unreadable face of so many conflicting emotions until he slumped against the wall, his head in his hands.

"I mean… I grew up on my mom's stories of the Jedi. Of how brave and awesome they were. She was Luke's personal pilot in those early days, y'know? I lived on every word, and I wanted to be like them. Hell, I wanted to be them. Kid's stuff I know, but it was my dream."

"And yet you became a pilot."

"It was a kid's dream, Finn. And that dream died with my mom. I ain't Force Sensitive, no matter how hard I tried to make myself believe I could be. I'm just a fighter jockie with issues."

"And I'm just an ex-Stormtrooper with issues," Finn replied as he sat next to him, "misery loves company, I suppose."

"Yeah, I guess."

BB-8 beeped mockingly. Poe's eyes went wide and he threw his jacket at the floating ball.

"And you shut up!"

BB-8 was down the hall, beeping a curse at them.

"Um… what was that?" Finn asked.

"Frickin' idiot thinks we should get-y'know what? Forget it, man, it's nothing."

"You know, I actually did wonder if you were Force Sensitive."

"Huh? Why do you say that?"

"Poe, you are either the most stupidly, luckiest person I've ever met, or you are indeed Sensitive."

"Buddy, that's all skill."

"Really? Performing a complete 90 degree turn in a cramped confinement under breakneck conditions, then lining me up perfectly so I could disable the Captain's Defender? No Poe, that is not entirely skill. That was almost physics defying."

"I don't know about physics defying. Don't get me wrong, It was a difficult as hell trick to pull off and I damn near scrub it at the end. But I did it."

"Fine. It's practically impossible for even the most skilled organic pilots, unless they're Force Sensitive."

"Or a droid pilot," Poe smirked, "look, I dunno, man. My old instructor Antilles pulled off a damn near impossible feat with the Second Death Star. I mean, half the ships that went into the reactor trench got destroyed because of how tight the damn tunnel was."

"Maybe, but as I understand it, it was largely a straight path with no sudden 90 degree turns appearing out of nowhere."

"Okay, fine. Let's say you're right. I lived next to the Temple on Yavin for nearly a decade. How come they never picked me up?"

"I don't know. You should ask Rey."

"Pff, yeah sure. Ask her."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Take a good hard look at me, Finn. Do I look like Jedi material to you?"

"I've only met one and I never guessed she was."

"Finn, Jedi are supposed to be heroes. Y'know, righteous and morally pure and all that stuff? I'm none of that. I'm just a happy-go-lucky fighter jockey who can't hold down a relationship for even a couple of months. I fly by the seat of my pants half the time, get the crap beaten out of me the other, and generally make it through by being a smartass. So, I reiterate. Do I look like a Jedi to you?"

"Yes, you do," Finn replied, his face serious, "you risked your life repeatedly in the service of others. You chose to save an enemy because you believed that despite everything I'd done before, I had the makings of a good man. And let's be honest here, Poe, you didn't have to become a fighter pilot. You have the looks and charm to be literally anything you wanted to be."

"Hold on, you really think that?"

"Poe, half the time I wonder if you were ever Holo-Movie Star or a celebrity. You have the mannerisms."

"Well, thanks. But what's your point?"

"Like I said, you could've chosen an easy life. You didn't. You chose one of danger and service. As far as I understand, those are the making of a Jedi."

Poe's face became unreadable in that moment. It ran from surprise, guilt, flattery, and even some kind of self directed denigration. It was a jumbled mess, and Finn soon gave up trying to solve it.

"Or… y'know, I'd probably end up just being another one of these Rangers. I mean, their boss is a little Force Sensitive, or so I've heard."

"Why are you dancing around this, Poe? What? Do you think you don't deserve to be one? Is that why you keep putting yourself down?"

Poe's flashed with a sudden but short-lived anger. It was quickly replaced by that same denigration he'd noted earlier. Finn had guessed right and that was confirmed when Poe sighed and shook his head with scoff.

"Yeah, I don't," and he got up and started walking down the hallway. Finn watched him go, wondering if he should chase after him and… and what? Tell him he was wrong? Finn shook his head at that. He had no right telling Poe what to think or feel when he couldn't even figure that one out for himself.

He got up and started walking around for a bit, bumbling through the various droids coming and going his way. None of them took notice of him. He sighed. He needed someone to talk to. Someone that he could vent to, because the indecision of it all was tearing away at him.

Before, he'd been preoccupied enough that he hadn't any time to think about it, and back then his thoughts had been clear. Now they weren't. He didn't want to die, but he didn't know how to live. Before, his life had been regimented and full of decided purpose. Now he had nothing.

"A mind without purpose always wanders into dark places," Zeros had quote once, and he felt it. Rey and Poe had promised him a life, but deep down he didn't want it that way. Out of everything, the First Order taught him that nothing should be given. Everything had to be earned, else one would lack respect for it and become complacent.

"So, what is my purpose, then?"

Ironically, Finn found himself exactly where he'd been not twenty minutes early. He walked amongst the caged monsters, their heads all turning in his direction and watching him with intent until he found the beast waiting for him.

Finn's harsh eyes narrowed as he looked down at the leering Terentatek, meeting its gaze without flinching. Already, he could feel the beast aura emanating towards him, its ice cold grip slowly taking route in his psyche. He held it at bay for a few moments, allowing him something of a revelation.

When the thing had attacked Rey, it had also done the same to a lesser extent to him and Poe but not Han Solo and Chewbacca. Finn accepted it for what it was. The many times he should have died but didn't, and why he was here now instead of not?

He was surprised he hadn't come to the conclusion sooner.

"Sooner, huh?"

Finn didn't even bother turning around. "Are you real or are you just part of the beast's spell?"

"Does it matter?" Slip came up to him, the piece of shrapnel still stuck in his chest, "I'm here regardless, Eighty-Seven."

"Finn," he corrected, "I'm not Eighty-Seven anymore."

"Oh, that's right," Slip grinned, "that pretty boy pilot gave you that name. Does that make you his pet?"

"What do you want?"

"Nothing much really. Just curious why you're still here."

"Still here?"

"Why you're still breathing. I mean, we're dead… and you're not. Kind of curious, don't you think?"

"You're not Slip and this isn't real. Goodbye."

When he turned to leave, he was greeted by an awful sight. There standing before him was Zeros with a hole in his throat, waving at him. To his side were a pair of legs walking, barely anything left of the torso.

Slip saw them and waved. "Oh hey Zeros, Nines. How's it feel not being able to speak?"

Zeroes shrugged his shoulders.

"And you Nines? How's it feel to lose so much weight?"

Nines clicked his feet together.

"Oh that's good. Just explaining to our brother here the curiosity of all this."

"Stop this," Finn growled, "why are you doing this?"

"Because we're dead, Eighty-Seven," Slip snapped, before he cheerfully asked, "or do you prefer Finn? Maybe we should call you dog and whistle and tell you you're a good pup."

"Get to the point."

"Okay. Kill yourself, Eighty-Seven. Throw yourself right into that pit and give jolly's a good chomping. It is the right thing to do."

"Right for who exactly?" Finn asked, "Right for you, who've been dead for over a week now, or right for that thing in the pit? I saw what it did to Rey."

"And? Everybody wins. We get put to rest, your guilt gets put away, and jolley's gets a good chomping. So, what are you waiting for?"

"No."

"That figures, you couldn't even kill that pilot back at the village. I mean you had the guy at gunpoint and-"

"Shut up. This time, you're going to listen," he then pointed down at the grinning beast below, "you too."

"And that is?" Slip asked expectantly, gesturing with his hand.

"You're not Slip, you're not Nines, and you're not Zeros. And you know how I know this? Because we're brothers, you and I, and brothers never ask that of each other."

"You killed us."

"Sure, I killed you. Somehow I controlled Zeros getting shot, Nines getting blown to pieces and that you got hit by the shrapnel. Somehow, I did all this."

"You walked us in there."

"You followed. We fought, and you died. That was no fault of mine."

"But you lived, instead of us."

"Yes, I did. And you want to know why?"

"Oh, please tell us."

Finn suddenly leapt forward, grabbed Slip by his pauldrons and flung him against the railing with a loud crunch.

"What are you-"

"Because the real Slip told me not to," Finn snarled, pushing the talking corpse further over the edge, "because I put a blaster to my chin, and my brothers stopped me. That's how I know you are not real, corpseman. You are just figment, a trick played by my guilty conscience. And I'm tired of being haunted by ghosts that aren't there."

"You'll never be rid of us!" Slip exclaimed with feral eyes.

Finn answered him with an arctic smile. "Watch me."

He sent the corpse over the edge. It screamed all the way to the bottom but it never hit. Finn looked over and there was nothing there save for the hungry beasts below. Finn turned around and drew his blaster, glaring at the remaining figments.

"And you? Do I need to kill you both, too?"

The figment of Zeros looked down at the legs of Nines, and shook his head. They slipped away into the shadows and when he felt their presence gone, he sighed with relief. He then heard a gurgle below, and looked down to see the Terentatek frowning.

Finn scoffed as he walked away. "Thanks for the peace of mind."

Still, he knew the truth now. The truth about himself and the purpose that had been lain before him. Though the uncertainty was still there, he faced it with a determination he had not felt since before the attack on the village. There was clarity in it, and he smiled.

When she was ready, he would ask Rey to help him on that path. And, if this Force willed it, he would find a way for Poe to walk that path with him.

Then he felt it. A disturbance, a crawling cold on the back of his neck. Something was coming. Something… an enemy. He took off running for all he was worth, and ran right into Poe who was coming his way.

"Whoa man. What are you-"

"There's something coming," Finn said in a hurry, "we need to jump, now."

The alarms started ringing, painting the place in a crimson light over and over again. Poe chuckled sardonically and shook his head.

"Y'know, I think I said something about things getting fracked up in the first five minutes. By comparison, this is an improvement."

"Hilarious. We need to get to the Bridge."

"Right behind you."