Mason is a wonderful boy. He is full of qualities, Emma sometimes feel it to be hard to wrap her head around. He is absolutely incredible to her, but he will never believe her, because every compliment she gives him, he turns around and repays it tenfold in compliments to her.
You're amazing, she wants to say, I am so happy to have you in my life, I feel blessed when we get to spend time together, I hope I can make you as happy as you make me. Before the words can come, though, he has already told her how pretty and smart and funny she is. How she is a great girlfriend, how she would be a good mother and wife to someone, someday.
Someone, someday. Not them, not now.
Everybody knows that long-distance relationships do not work. Everybody seems to have one, but nothing ever comes of it. Nothing can stand the fiery furnace of being apart more often than not. If it does, it is a miracle and meant to be, but that never happens. Right?
Theirs, maybe, might. They are trying, at least. When Mason's letter of acceptance to the Air Force Academy arrived, he could not be happier, but as much as Emma wanted to move to Boulder, pursue photography at the University of Colorado, to be able to be close to her boyfriend, latch onto him and never let go, she could not.
Out-of-state was not an option to her family right now, and her grades were not high enough for the University of Colorado to consider her application. Alas, she remained in Rhode Island, while he was halfway across the country.
It was still the first semester, but she honestly thought she would be worse off. The messages, email, calls, video chat and even snail mail come so often that it feels like he was right there sometimes.
Jealousy has also been manageable. She trusts him, but she made the conscious decision that does not want to know whether he is interested in other girls, and she keeps herself from asking. She did not know whether Colorado Springs had many models, but a tall, blond, lean, Air Force cadet like Mason should have no difficulties finding interested parties.
Emma has been transparent to him, though, even if she does not find in herself to dally much on the subject. He knows about that guy on her History class who asked her out, and he can make what he wants of that. She thinks it is alright, though, as his warm demeanour had not changed.
She knows she was the envy of many girls at her old school. Mason Jennings, team quarterback, son of the principal, Golden Boy extraordinaire, took disgraced cheerleader Emma Price to prom! What do you mean, they are dating?
She wonders if the talk followed her to Kingston. There was quite a few of her former colleagues around, most notably of all Lauren. Who knows what kind of slander was going on behind her back?
Such was the pace in which they took their relationship until, one day, he asks her something she does not know how to answer, for all their time and effort to be together.
I'm worried, Emma. He wrote. I swore to myself that I would try my darndest to make this work, but I never thought it would not be just a couple of months. I don't want to let you go, but I think we have to discuss this. I'm going out to military life, and that will take me from you more than I want to. I'll need you to be tough, and you'll have to deal with me being away most of the time, and perhaps with even less communication… Hypothetically, do you think you could handle that? Your boyfriend, even husband, being gone all the time? The Air Force is a dangerous profession…
She does not answer right away, she wants to think about what she will say. For all her soul-searching, the first time, she screws it up.
I don't know, Mase. I hadn't considered that, either. I think it'd be hard… I don't like to be alone. I'm afraid of being alone.
What she wanted was to open a conversation. She wanted for him to understand that she loves him and she would be sorry to see him go. Unfortunately, he takes it all wrong and thinks that he does not deserve her, that she does not want him.
I'm very sorry for asking, Emma. You're right, you're absolutely right. You deserve someone who can be with you all the time. His heart weighed like a ton on his chest, but he carried on with his email. It's not what I want, but perhaps you'd like to find someone else.
Her eyes fill with tears, she crunches her teeth and writes back.
We've been dealing with things just fine these last couple of months. It's been interesting, even. I think it'd be hard to deal with the loneliness, and thinking long-term, there is the issue of children, but I think it's worth it, Mase.
Our willingness for sacrifice depends on the person. If they are worth it, I'd be able to bear the months away for the days of them at home, and I know you are worth it a thousand times over. I want to try, and I want you to try it with me. I know we can figure it out.
I never want you in danger, as your girlfriend or as your friend, but many learn to trust in a higher power…
Now, she waits for the response, hoping that she was able to ease his concerns a bit. She runs to her bedroom at her father's home to read the latest mail on her bed, crying and gasping and laughing and hoping. She is young, but she can dream, right?
That is a good answer. Very good actually.
She laughs, smiles and everyone remarks about how excited and joyful she appears these days, how much energy she seems to burst at every pore. This is why Emma Price keeps up a long-distance relationship, because they click so well and he makes her so God damn happy and she knows that the chance it might work out, the Summer months that they get to spend together and the calls made just so she can hear his voice is worth the uncertainty and small visits. All the hardships are secondary, she takes them with a smile.
It is worth it because she thinks he is amazing.