"Alarya"
The whispered words floated hollowly through the ashen forest and for a second they seemed to stop time, freeze the roaring flames that consumed the Palace only some distance ahead and settle a cold penetrating silence through the mass of panicked and shaken elves. Silence. It filtered beneath her skin like iced water, chilling her to the bone as the seconds seemed to stretch infinitely, barely even aware of Elladan's arms still securely wrapped around her, seeming to never intend to let her go.
It had taken that word, that name, even in its barely audible whisper for the Elvenking to turn his head sharply, his ears seeming to be able to distinguish that name even among a storm, ice blue eyes landing immediately on the delicate figure now being held in Lord Agoron's strong grip. She knew her father had instantly recognized the figure, and yet still not a single soul moved, eyes of all the bystander elves glued on their King, or shifting from one figure to the other, expectant, anxious, shocked. But her father did not move, and she was forced to watch as shock and emotions she wished she would never have to see again slowly swept the depths of the King's impenetrable icy irises, her eyes unable to look away even if she tried to command them to.
Her breathing stopped inside her chest without her even noticing she was holding it, but it seemed as if every elf in the forest was currently holding their breath. She could not name what she felt, could not even start to describe it. For the first time she was seeing the King's impenetrable ice blue eyes break their frozen shells in front so many witnesses other than his own immediate family, for the first time his cold and expressionless features betrayed an unrecognizable shock, as if his mind could not comprehend what his eyes were seeing. And she understood to perfection what Elladan had told her only moments before while in the underground caves. Her father had not known the Queen was alive, and he was finding out for the very first time.
The whispers started first. At the beginning only a barely even recognizable murmur, then growing louder and louder, voices shaking, some fingers even pointing. "It is the Queen." She could identify some say over the foggy voices that travelled through the inexistent wind. "That is Queen Alarya." "But she is dead" "It is the Queen." "It cannot be".
"Let me see to her." She hear Lord Elrond's ever steady and calm voice whispering softly as he approached Lord Agoron, the latter immediately releasing his burden in order to allow the healer to examine the delicate figure, not even hesitating for a second, his emerald eyes still carrying the same shock she could see in every elf's face.
"My Lord?" The alarmed tone of the elf who had spoken made her eyes fly back to where her father stood, only to fid one of the healers that had been previously hovering over his King by the edge of the forest now staring up at the imposing elegant figure almost urgently, two other healers and one guard already hurrying in their direction. And it took her barely a second to understand why. Even through the distance and the layer of ashes that floated eerily in the air like a cold fog, she could see that the King was shaking, Her father's ever steady posture, ever majestic and tall figure seemed to have shattered in a fragment of a second into uncontrollable tremors, even his breathing now coming out in uneven shaky gasps, as if he could not get enough air into his lungs.
She could feel the panic, the anguish rising in the air as the whispers and murmurs only grew louder, a bunch of healers now trying to coax their King into sitting down, but the later seemed unable to hear or notice anything that was happening around him, not cooperating with any of the healers' efforts. And for a second she thought her father would choke, that he would lose the little composure he had left, that he would make himself pass out if he did not manage to breath properly soon. This kind of shock was not something she wished on anyone. And by the ever increasing alarm in the healers attempts to calm their King, it was not something to be taken lightly. True, it was none other that her own mother the one she had just found out was alive, but in reality she did not even know her. To her, this frail Lady lying unconscious as Lord Elrond searched for any sort of injuries was nothing than a stranger to her. She knew that her own overpowering shock that she felt rushing through her veins and freezing her in place was not even a fragment of the shock she knew the King must have been going through at that precise moment.
Suddenly a different kind of realization downed on her, suddenly making everything else so much clearer, her father's reaction much less surprising. He must have been able to feel the Queen through their bond, after all whatever type of dark magic that had kept her mother sealed away from any type of contact had been broken the second she had foolishly stepped ahead and touched her. Valar, if it had been her, she was sure she would have been a shaking mess of tears on the ground by now if she had suddenly been able to feel Elladan again through their bond after so many years of believing she would never be able to do so again.
"Ada." She noticed Tadion reaching the King's side in long strides, his voice somehow perfectly calm and steady, his posture straight and unfaltering, a Prince, and for a second she could not even comprehend what kind of strength her brother must have to appear so much in control during a situation where panic, anguish and chaos seemed about to break loose. Her brother's hands moved to quickly grasp one of his father's shaking arms, attempting in vain to steady the later, who still seemed unable to breathe properly.
"Ada, sit down. Ada, you are going to pass put if you do not sit down." Her brother tried again, his voice stressing the urgency of his words, yet never once betraying panic or anything other than pure tranquility. And yet, Tadions' eyes remained their usual deep calming seas, somehow looking more powerful and penetrating that ever, yet always reachable, always open, even through the fear and urgency that she could read far into their ocean blue depths. After all, it was not only her mother lying alive on the ground only distance ahead, but also Tadion's mother, and yet he somehow was the one to keep his strength when everyone else had lost it. Somehow the Tadion she knew all along, the carefree, never to worry and always approachable, teasing and joking Tadion proved her to have the strength of a pillar inside of him, a pillar that would never bend nor break.
And once again she was suddenly faced with another kind of realization, one that suddenly made her heart stop inside her chest as the hearler's alarm and her brother's urgent tone suddenly became increasingly clear to her. Of course. How had she not thought about it before. After all if there was something she had learned about her own kin was how deeply and strongly bonds ran into spirits, how easy it was for a spirit to break or fall apart, with the changes of these bonds, how much damage they could make when suddenly breaking.
Fear gripped her like cold sickly claws as she finally understood the anguish and panic rising all around her. Her father's spirit had already been damaged, the bond he shared with her mother had once already been broken, and ire burned through her at the mere thought that it had been all because some sort of dark magic, that it had all been someone's doing. And still her fear only increased as she remembered that her father's spirit was once again barely recovering from the distress he had been in not even days ago, when the connection he shares with his forest had been brutally interrupting nearly causing his death. Truth to be told she did not even know if the King would ever recover from that completely. And now she understood the panic, the fear, the alarm. The King's spirit was already weakened, and suddenly reinstating a bond, one that ran so deeply was one more stress, even if a good one, that she could not tell if the King could tolerate at the moment….and apparently the healers where questioning the same thing.
"My Lord, please sit down, try to breathe." She could still hear Melnor's frantic voice saying almost desperately now, and out of the corner of her eyes she noticed that more than half of the spectating elves had already turned their heads or deviated their eyes. Their King falling apart was not spectacle for them to witness, and part of her felt grateful for their discretion, grateful for the deep respect they seemed to have for their King to turn a blind eye even when they could not completely ignore what was happening just right in front of them. At least they pretended to give some privacy.
"Let go…" The Elvenking's voice came out as merely a shadow of it usually strong sound, now shaky, unsteady, not even finishing the sentence he started. And yet his arms still managed to pull away from the many healers, pushing them away from him with trembling hands.
And then, as if suddenly waking up from the initial shock, the King moved. Slowly, he started walking forward, almost shakily as if the ash-covered forest ground had somehow transformed into frail glass that would betray him and let him fall into an endless abyss at any moment. The still shocked and shaken healers and guards not even reacting, frozen like statues of cold hard stone. No one dared to move, no one dared to speak, and for a second she was angry at the presence of the other elves around them, even though she knew there was nothing that could be done about it. Valar, for a second she was even angry at her own two eyes for watching the scene, even though she could not get herself to look away. This moment was not theirs to witness. Even Lord Elrond, who had been currently kneeling next to the Queen's frail and overly thin body had stood up, silently stepping aside, relinquishing his place to the Elvenking.
And still she watched, even the constant pounding and swirling of her head becoming a second thought as the King knelt next to the seemingly lifeless body, pale and shaking hands hovering over the unmoving figure, and yet not daring to touch it. Ice blue eyes roamed up and down the delicate figure, seeming to take in every aspect, every detail, looking yet not seeming to see, dazed, lost, as if looking at a distant memory lost so long ago that suddenly floated back like an apparition, a cruel jest of the mind, as if it would suddenly be snatched away again, never to return.
"She lives." Lord Elrond's voce broke the silence, the soft sound cutting the air as loud as a thousand knives, but her father's eyes never once left the Queen limp body. He did not even seemed to have listened; he did not even seem present any longer, and she was sure she had never seen eyes hold more pain and torture that she was currently seeing inside the King's eyes, just as she had never seen a pair of eyes hold more joy and hope, even as he yet struggled to regain his breath. It was like eyes that could see the first glimpses of sunlight after a lifetime trapped in blinded darkness the silver shimmer of tears sparkling under dark lashes.
She had barely even noticed that Elladan had readjusted his hold on her, letting her sit more comfortably against his chest, holding her only with his good arm while he kept his broken one safely to his side.
The ghost of a smile broke through the Elvenking's trembling lips, shaking slender fingers brushing away a strand of matted golden hair out of the Queens face, barely even touching it, as if afraid if would turn to ashes and blow away in the nonexistent wind. And as soon as it had appeared on his face, the smile broke, replaced only by a faint shake of the head, silvery blonde hair shimmering faintly in the dim moonlight that filtered through the heavy canopy above.
"No…" The King's voice broke, and she could see many of the eyes that still looked at the scene turning away, expressions pained. The first tears slid over marble cheekbones in frail silver trails, but the King made no attempt to crush them away, as if not even noticing them, and once they started they did not seem to stop.
"No.." He repeated, shaking his head more forcefully now, breathing becoming ragged, fast as hollow eyes widened in a sudden panic, seeming to fix solely on the Elf-Lord beside him. His tears seemed to flow freely now, and it stung her heart and made her stomach knot tightly at her ever controlled father's loss of composure.
"She…she was dead…She was…I was sure" The King kept repeating, but he did not seem to be talking to anyone in particular anymore, even though his eyes remained focused on Lord Elrond, as if somehow the Elf-Lord calming presence could serve as a steady pillar to anchor his suddenly crushing world. Her father's broken voice come out in gasped gulps of air, and she was sure she had never seen more misery, more pain, in any face before.
"I…I did not even look…I did not look for her…I should have searched…So many years…and she…I did not even search…and she was alive…and I did not…" His voice broke again, but this time the Elvenking did not seem capable of producing any more coherent sounds, desperate sobs, the kind that made her skin curl and her heart clench miserably being the only sounds that escaped from the figure that had always been the image of grace and majestic composure. And she closed her eyes, only listening to what sounded like a commotion of voices moving around the King – healers no doubt- Lord Elrond's steady voice saying something quickly in elvish, but she could not catch what. All she tried to do was block away the torturous sobs that lingered in the air, a sound she knew would haunt her for eternity. She could hear Lord Elrond's persistent voice calling her father's name over and over again, as if trying to get his attention but the King was beyond reasoning, the sobs between choked gasps of air did not seem to lessen in the slightest, and he kept repeating the same things over and over again. "I did not search for her…there was no body and did not search…she was alive…I…"
The panic in the forest was palpable, and she managed to open her eyes once more only to discover that over half of the witnessing elves where also in tears, although silent, and the other half looked simply in shock, eyes wide and blank, or looking uncomfortably from side to side, as if their whole world had been thrown out of balance.
"Thranduil," She heard Lord Elrond's firm voice calling more forcefully now, formalities forgotten, succeeding in making the King's dazed and panicked eyes to turn in his direction for at least a second. "She is alive. She seems unharmed. " He stressed, stormy grey eyes fixed on her father's tear stroked ones as if trying almost in vain for his words to register in the Elvenking's mind, but the King continued to sob miserably, still struggling to breathe as anxiety grew on the surrounding healers' faces.
"I need to check her for injuries." Lord Elrond spoke, stressing each word slowly, but she doubted the King had heard anything he said, still gasping for air in between sobs, skin looking unnaturally pale underneath the few rays of filtering moonlight. Only when Lord Elrond's gentle hands laid on the Queen's unmoving figure, lifting her weightless body overly carefully to where she could see the healer's had already laid down some cloaks into a make-shift bed did the King react, eyes becoming wide, almost animalistic as his tortured expression intensified as he threw his arms desperately in the direction of the Elf-Lord, missing him completely.
"NO!" He yelled, voice broken in the most powerful fear she had ever heard in her life. "DON'T TAKE HER AWAY!" He screamed, a new sort of panic flashing in his utterly miserable expression, and suddenly her veins burned with hatred, wishing the most horrendous and painful of deaths to whoever had knowingly inflicted this kind of pain on another being, to whoever had known about the Queen's whereabouts and had silently watched the King suffer thus.
"Please, don't take her away." Her father repeated, his voice hollow now, arms falling limply to his sides, broken, broken like she had never seen anyone break before, voice pleading but hopelessly now, sobs still racking his body, but the sudden panic now replaced by defeat as he collapsed from his knees into a miserably sitting position, crying no longer in panic, shock or hysteria, but in pure agonizing pain, pain and defeat. His head hung low, silvery hair creating a shimmering curtain over his face as his fingers dipped in the soft grass below. "Please…don't take her away….please."
And no one, she knew, not even the strongest being in all of Arda could deny such a suffering plea, coming from such a broken soul, and her watered eyes only caught sight of the Elf Lord stopping where he was, the Queen's limp body still gently carried in his arms, and she knew he had only meant to take her into comfort, to check if she had any injuries that needed treating, especially since the King himself seemed unable to reason at the moment. Still she could see a cloud of pain darkening the Elf Lord's calmed grey eyes as he gently, carefully, lowered the Queen's frail body into the King's expecting arms, her father reaching for the figure like a dying man reaches to the light, cradling her body close to his.
"Thranduil." The Elf Lord spoke once more, his voice laced with pain but sounding softer now that the King cried more silently. "Will you let me check her for injuries? I will not take her from you, but I do need to make sure she is unharmed." He spoke carefully, softly, the way someone speaks to a heart-broken child in an effort to gain understanding.
Slowly, silently, she watched the King nod his head, reddened eyes never leaving the Queen's pale and gaunt face, but it was the first coherent response he had given so far, and she saw that it seemed to alleviate some of the healers' anxieties. And carefully and patiently Lord Elrond's expert hands started a laborious and detailed examination of the Queen, the Elvenking not once reacting, not once moving, finally seeming to calm down, even though the rivers of tears never stopped flowing down his cheeks. Only once did he raise his head, looking around him slowly, as if for the first time remembering where he was, remembering that his subjects lined the forest all around him, that he was still their King, but she knew that appearances had been long forgotten by now.
She let her weight rest fully on Elladan's chest for the moment, feeling suddenly more tired that before and glad that at least momentarily their presence did not register in anyone's mind particularly, as every eye seemed to be focused on the King and newly found Queen. She knew they would be questioned eventually, but for the time being she was happy to just be ignored, even though her own anxiety never lessened. They were not safe. Not even here. She could not shake that feeling from herself, and could feel the same thoughts plaguing Elladan…and the Elf Lord as well from the quick and almost urgent way in which he examined the Queen, not wasting a single precious second.
Elladan and her had been pursued right after taking the Queen with them, even if they had managed to get to temporary safety after the raging river pushed them forcefully out of the burning halls. But for how long would they be safe? How long until the cloaked figures caught up with them and found them all fathered here in this area of the forest. A cold shiver ran down her spine at the mere thought of that and she snuggled deeper against Elladan, wishing to force her thoughts into a different direction.
"She is completely unharmed." Lord Elrond's gentle diagnosis pulled her wandering mind form her thoughts, her eyes falling once more on his majestic figures as he slowly stepped away slightly from where the King sat still cradling the unmoving Queen in his arms. "Not a single scratch."
Once again the King nodded, although he did not turn to look at the Elf Lord in the eyes. At least he seemed responsive and coherent, listening to what was being said to him.
"Why is she not awake?" Her father asked, his voice barely audible, not a hint of the usual command and strength lingered in the broken sound that escaped his lips.
"That might take a while." Lord Elrond replied, his voice as soft as before. "She has been in this stake for a long time. I ignore what source o power has kept her like this all this years, but she is extremely weak, although her life energy is steady. Give her some time."
The King nodded again, and for a moment silence lingered in the night lit forest, a single hollow breeze ruffling the darkened thick leaves above as the red glow of the fire casted long and shifting shadows on the greying tree trunks.
"Thranduil" Lord Elrond called once more, and this time the King's red and swollen blue eyes looked up in his direction, slowly, almost reluctanctly. "We are not safe here." The Elf Lord continued, grey eyes now looking serious, wary. "We have been hoarded out of the palace by the flames and into this area of the forest I believe intentionally. We need to move. And quickly" grey eyes flashed in her direction at the last spoken words, piercing her emerald irises for a fraction of a second before turning back to the King.
And for the first time since his panic she saw complete understanding and determination flash back into the Kings icy blue eyes, once more their impenetrable strong depths, once more majestic and imposing even as he sat crumbled on the grass. And pain clenched her heart once more as she understood that he was still the King, that her and all of these elves waiting scared around the forest were still his to guide, regardless of his own personal suffering at the moment.
"The forest is our strength." He spoke, his voice once more the icy commanding tone that left no space for argument. And she knew he was right. She knew the Mirkwood elves knew this enchanted and sick forest like no other creature in Arda, making it possible for them to disappear in it if they wished to.
"Feren!" The King called, and an elf she had never seen before, although dressed in the garment of the King's guard rushed forward to his King, silently awaiting his orders. "Take the wounded ladies and elflings, you know which path to take. Be quick and be silent." He did not elaborate further, but the guard in question seemed to understand to perfection exactly what the King meant, only bowing his head before moving to where the majority of the elves waited restlessly to be taken to safety.
Then, the King's ice blue eyes looked around hurriedly, searching around the nearby crowd until finally landing on the elf the had been looking for. Lord Agoron did not even wait for his name to be called before rushing to the King's side, her father's eyes once more looking pained, as if what he was about to say was the most difficult decision he had ever made. Slowly, painfully, her father's arms relinquished the Queen's frail body into the Lord's awaiting arms, as if it was the hardest thing he had ever done. "Keep her safe. If something goes amiss, disappear. You know how to make yourself invisible in this forest." He ordered, eyes piercing through the Lord, and suddenly she understood that whoever exactly this Lord was, the King trusted him above any other elf in the crowd, even more than he trusted his closest members of the guard, to leave him such a precious cargo. And even though the King had said that Agoron knew how to make himself invisible, she understood from the hidden message that crossed form the icy blue eyes to the Lord's emerald ones that the King meant I know how to make you both invisible in truth. And she knew the King would. Not matter who tried to find them, the King's magic would ensure that Agoron and the Queen would not be found.
Lord Agoron did not wait for any more orders, not wasting a single second before jumping suddenly with the most effortless of movements and impressive agility, disappearing through the branches of the trees right above them with the Queen still safely in his arms, as if he had never been there only seconds ago, not even the slightest of sounds giving away the direction in which the thick canopy had swallowed him. She could only imagine what her father must feel watching the Queen disappear once more and not being him the one taking her, but she knew that he had needed to stay. He was the King, and he was the stone on which everyone sought to lean on now, especially in the midst of this chaos surrounding them.
Then, slowly, the King made to rise from his feet, the guard protectively standing nearest to him offering a hand. And her father took it silently, accepting the help as the guard steadily pulled the King up to his feet, bowing his head respectfully as he did so. And she saw a flash of silver dash in the guard's right hand, as his left hand still held to the King from the help given. The dagger dashed forward in flash, stopped just as quickly when the King's impressively fast fingers curled around the blade, drawing thick rivers of blood from his palm, the shark and deathly end of the blade less than an inch away from where it would have lodged in the King's abdomen…
Finally…..FINALLY….here's chapter 43! I can't tell you how sorry I am for not updating for such a long time…you can yell at me a little, I get you anger and frustration. IT just had been incredibly hard for me to find the time to write this chapters and had to do it in tiny parts at a time since I didn't want this chapter to just be shorter or not as good just because of the lack of time. I have just started new studies last year and my schedule has shifted around so much that I have barely time to sleep (not exaggerating here) and I even have classes on weekends now, so no free time at all!
Anyways I hope you enjoy reading this chapter and I will make my best to try to update again as soon as I can. For all of those of you who asked, I haven't abandoned this story and I wont' ever ever ever abandon it, even if I have to fluctuate from being able to update regularly or having to skip a few months.
Also thank you infinitely to those of you who have stuck with Almarëa until now, even after the incredibly long wait. I haven't logged into ff in a long while and just discovered many PMs that I haven't answered but I will as soon as possible (this week!) As always all of you who read this story is what keeps its magic alive, so I can't thank you enough for that! If I haven't replied to your past reviews I will do so shortly!
And….Martine9295…this chapter is just for you! thank you being always such a wonderful amazing friend even though I have sort of disappeared into myself for a while….(so much work!) I hope you are having an amazingly beautiful day! You're the best!
Love,
(and sorry!)
Elena