"Make yourself at home. You already know where everything is, but I laid out some new towels in your bathroom."
The two bedroom/two bathroom apartment had always treated Remus well. School was about a block away and he was employed at the bookstore below the apartment. Remus rarely wandered outside 1 mile of his apartment. He had convinced himself that everything he needed was within his walking distance.
"Remus, you're a great friend." Lily's voice cracked with tears running down her face. Her black eye was healing, but still prominent under her makeup. "You pointed out all the red flags and I ignored them. Then I call you after months..."
Remus didn't want to lie and say that it was ok. That calling him a liar and blocking him hadn't hurt. Remus knew even at the time not to give up. He knew what type of person Snape was and knew that sooner or later Lily would see that too. Lily had been desperate for attention after her sister got married. The need for that romantic attention and stability became infinitely more when two months after the wedding her mother died followed by her father shortly after.
Even though Remus was more than happy to dropout and take a leave of absence from school, Lily thought it would be too much to ask. Remus was willing to do anything for Lily though. "Friends from the womb", their moms would say. They were only about one month apart and their mother had been so excited to raise their children together. This friendship built and soon he knew her better than anyone else. Their mothers at one point in middle school had thought that Lily and Remus were soulmates. Lily and Remus always knew otherwise. On her ankle, Lily had a design. She was certain that her soulmate had a similar one, and that person wasn't Remus. They had always been platonic.
"You saved me and I'll pay you back." Lily looked at Remus with a determination in her eyes.
Remus couldn't take the intensity of her stare. He rolled her luggage to her room and shouted "I've had my eye out for an early copy of 'The Screwtape Letters' that ". Her laugh sounding through the apartment is exactly what he wanted.
"English majors are so boring in their requests."
With that Lily left to clean up and unpack. Leaving Remus to read. For first time since she blocked him, Remus felt like all his pieces were back.
Lily knew that Remus enjoyed his consistent life. He had trouble trusting which had been instilled into him at a young age after the incident. He liked not addressing the scars, covering the mirrors in the bathroom, and keeping to himself.
She had been the one to introduce him to Marlene, Dorcas, and the Prewitt Brothers. Their group hadn't met much after she started dating Severus. Lily's hand unintentionally brushed the handprints on her arm and very clear knuckle impressions left under her eye.
Anger bubbled in her. She didn't want to sit around anymore. Literally or figuratively. She wanted to find herself. Screw love, screw the design on her ankle that she had no control over. Lily had lost so much in the past 6 months and wanted to find herself again. She wanted to go out tonight to prove to Severus...no to herself that she wasn't going to dwell and wait for life. She was going to grab all of it.
Lily slammed open her door. Remus was across the hall laying on his bed reading. He jumped at the sudden noise.
"We're going out. I need to go do something."
Remus looked extremely hesitant. "Like what?"
Lily looked around the apartment and tried to think of what might interest them both on a busy Saturday night. "How about Main Street? We'll take the train down. You walk around some of the shops and we when you're done, I'll take you to the cute little bookstore over there."
An eyebrow was raised, and Lily knew she had him. He might put up a bit more of a fuss, but he would relent to go to a bookshop. "Not the big chain store, I want to go to that small one on the corner with original copies."
"Your request is not too unreasonable Remus, I relent."
Main street was quite crowded. Remus didn't come here often because of this very reason. Lily worried that he would have a panic attack. The discomfort of how tight he held her hand was easier to deal with than a panic attack.
"Hold on to me and don't let go. I don't want anything to happen to you." Remus held her close.
Lily felt the need to remind him "No one is going to take me."
Remus' eyes darkened. She knew that reminding him of the incident was a bad idea. They very rarely talked about it. She knew that the crossed scars on his face and the missing part of his earlobe was enough to be a constant reminder to him. He didn't like to be reminded that his friends knew what had happened to him. That they might think about it. That they notice his scars. That worry that his friends think he's a freak.
Remus still had his eyes trained on her. "You just left a crazy man who has proved that he has no regard for your life. He wasn't arrested and is still living his life as normal. He could come and slip through the crowd only to beat you in an alley and leave you to be found in the morning."
Lily knew that for Remus, this wasn't an unreasonable thought. She thought that Severus wouldn't be that dumb. That he was hours away, but for Remus, in this crowded place all he could see was someone like him coming for either of them. She just nodded her head and let him drag her to the bookstore. She knew that Remus wasn't squeezing her hand to hurt her, but after bringing up what she did, she felt it best to give him what he needed to feel safe.
Remus browsed up and down the aisles. Even with the dissipated crowds, Remus held her close. Lily looked at a few books, but quickly became angry when she saw a woman rush her child out of the aisle after seeing Remus. Lily thought of Remus much like a pitbull. His scars looked menacing, but he was a lanky sweater-wearing tea drinker who put spiders in a cup and let them outside because 'they probably have a family waiting for them outside'.
"I need to go sit down. I'll just be over in that chair. There is only one exit." Lily tried to sooth Remus.
"Of course." Remus distracted automatically replied. Lily could tell when the words hit him. Remus blushed and looked down. "I just don't want..."
"I know. I didn't mean to either..."
"I don't want you to leave though. I don't want...I just want you to stay within eyesight so I know where you are." Remus said. Lily kissed Remus on the cheek and squeezed his hand before letting go.
There was a large purple couch at the front of the store. A man in a black suit was sitting in the chair next to it reading. His black messy hair stuck up in every direction. He kept pushing his glasses around and would flip the page every so often. Though it didn't look like he was too interested in the book.
After a moment the stranger whispered, "Are you safe?"
Lily had to look around to make sure that he was talking to her. The stranger seemed to be as he kept going with no one else within hearing distance.
"That man you arrived with is in the back. If you need help, I can help."
Lily was genuinely confused. "With what?" She whispered back.
The man's face went bright red. After a long pause, he pointed to her face. "Your makeup is quite lovely. I wanted to ask if you needed help with anything. I have resources for people who need...makeup."
Lily stared at him for a moment before it clicked. He thought that Remus had done this to her. The dark purple bruise that she thought was well hidden. That was what he was referring to. She was a bit embarrassed. "I'm fine, sir."
She almost laughed at the way the stranger seems to brush off her remark. He wasn't listening to her words. He was trying to look into her soul and see past the words. After a moment he seemed content with what he saw. Enough to lean back in the chair.
"I apologize. I was eating down the street and saw him pulling you through the crowd." He ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for that to sound so...creepy. I followed to make sure you were ok. I'm not sorry that I offered, just sorry if it creeped you out at all. You just never know."
Lily made direct eye contact, trying to look into his intentions. Severus had seemed to have only good intentions too at first. This man was dressed head to toe in the finest black suit she had ever seen. Dark, handsome, and seemingly full of good intentions. A dangerous combination for most girls.
There was something a bit different though. His smile was bright and reached his hazel eyes. His glasses were the thickest prescription she had ever seen. It seemed to magnify his soul hiding in his eyes. She saw people like Remus who hid their soul deep, friends like Marlene only showed their soul when they wanted, but this man held everything right at the surface.
"I'm sorry to have worried you. Remus is a good friend." They both continued to stare into each other's eyes. Lily blushed and didn't know if she had completely soothed the stranger's fears. He seemed to want to believe her, but still a bit defensive.
"Your dinner guest must be missing you. It's rude to run out on your date."
The man laughed. "My mother did raise me not to leave a woman waiting. Tonight, I'm just taking some potential business and a mate out to eat. He's much more charming than I am. Probably able to get the job done faster than I could."
Not likely. You could charm anyone with those eyes. Lily thought. Wanting to prolong her interaction with this man she offered "You can meet him if you'd like. Just to put your mind at complete ease."
"I'd like that to be honest. I'm just a stranger to you I know, but..."
Lily laughed at the familiar trail off. "You sound just like Remus."
Remus wasn't as worried for Lily now that they were out of the crowd. Crowds mad him nervous. People all blended together. It was easy to get lost. The smell of books was helping to calm him down.
He didn't like to remember his incident. He didn't like other people to comment on it. Lily wasn't trying to hurt him, but it had, nonetheless. After perusing the nonfiction, Remus found himself pouring over their collection of older books. The stares from staff and customers passing by didn't escape his notice. He walked around carefully and made sure not to go down an aisle if there was only one other person.
Remus rarely made eye contact, even with himself. All of his mirrors were draped with cloth. The only times he saw himself were in the back of spoons, the metallic pieces on the bus, store windows, and such.
Remus started to hear Lily's voice float closer to him. Down the aisle she walked with a complete stranger. Remus and the stranger made eye contact for a moment. His eyes scanned him up and down. The hazel eyes rested their search on his hands. It was one of the only places without scars. Remus felt to shove them in his pockets with the odd attention to them.
"Remus, this is..." Lily waved her hand towards the man. Did Lily not know this man's name? What was she thinking?
"James." reached his hand out for Remus. Remus shook it briefly. Lily seemed to send him a look that said Play nice.
The three stood awkwardly in the center of the aisle. Remus went back to perusing the books while Lily stared and James, staring at Remus. Most people could only take the sight of Remus for so long before cringing.
Lily broke the silence. "He was worried about my eye...and you. Wanted to make sure I was ok. I thought it might put him at ease to meet you. Know that he did a good thing. Even if I didn't need it."
"Oh" Remus understood. Another person who saw him as a monster. Saw his scars and assumed that he had earned them instead of being subjected to them.
"I just wanted to make sure. We just did some training at work about it..."
Remus could tell that Lily immediately was interested to find more about this stranger. "Where do you work?"
James went red in the face. "I'm sure you haven't heard of it. It's just a company that manages other companies."
What a vague and concerning answer. Remus was interested to hear more, but James didn't seem to want to elaborate.
There was a silence between the three before James bowed his head. "I'll leave you to your evening. Thank you for not thinking to poorly of me for interrupting."
James walked down the aisle. Lily bounced up on the balls of her feet. Her eyes watched him leave. Remus rolled his eyes at the nervous energy pouring off of her. "Does he know your name?" Lily froze. "Go tell him before he has to just call you 'that girl' to his friends."
Lily ran down. Remus hear one bell of the door opening and then quickly another before Lily yelling down the road.
"Lily!" was all she shouted at the man.
He turned around and glanced at her. "Your name, or favorite flower?"
"Yes."