Remus took his days one at a time. He had never felt the days drag on as much as they had since the art show. Remus would be working the bookstore when someone with a scarf would walk by and all Remus could see were two small boys playing tug-a-war with a red and gold scarf. The smell of cigarettes had never appealed to Remus, until someone out on the snowy street had lit one. Then all Remus could think of was a brick alcove and the sense of a fast smoke before getting caught.
One night, of many, that Remus couldn't sleep, he saw clearly a view from the top of a building over the city and a sting of snowflake hitting his skin. Even laying in bed, Remus looked at his hands and could feel the cold snow. The thought dismissed. Remus' nerves often gave him phantom pain. It must have been that.
Lily had searched all week for a James Black online. She had complained that James had said the artist and him were brothers, yet Lily couldn't find a single thing about him. All that came up was a suggestion of Jacob Black, which led the two to watching Twilight all week.
"You know, Edward just didn't get that someone could love him even if he was a monster."
Remus chuckled. "I don't see how one can see someone with dark demons in their closet and want to go in."
Lily paused the showing and the two sat a moment in silence. "I think one can love someone with demons because it shows strength to live with demons and remain unbroken."
Remus had the suspicion Lily was not talking about the vampire. "I agree that someone who is strong and unbroken is a fine person to fall in love with. Some people break under the pressure. They end up needing everything to be set up just so. They need to protect themselves and some people just don't get that."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Remus, you're strong. Do you like consistency? Yes. Do you need more time to adjust then other people to change? Yes. Does that mean that someone can't become part of your consistency? No."
At the conversation becoming more direct, Remus reached for the remote. Lily jumped off the sofa and ran across the room. Remus chased her. The apartment was small, but Lily used the furniture to her advantage.
"Maybe you've always had visions and just blocked them out. Maybe you would have denied them. Maybe you would have used them to avoid your soulmate."
Remus regretted telling Lily anything. She was using his feelings against him. He didn't want Sirius and Sirius wouldn't want him. A rich artist and businessman wanting someone who enjoyed their mundane life. That only happened in romance novels.
Remus and Lily ended in a stalemate one on each arm of the couch. "Lily, promise that you'll let me take my time? Even if it is him, let me choose my pace."
After a long stare off, Lily nodded. Remus feeling in a teasing mood took the remote and said, "You might have fallen in love at first sight, but that doesn't mean that I have."
Lily threw a handful of popcorn and the movie was unpaused.