Her head hurt. It was the first thing that made itself known as her senses slowly, foggily returned to her. The dull throb echoed uncomfortably in the back of her head, feeling oddly distant, as if she was not yet entire sure she could feel it. It was not too bad, thank the Valar, nothing compared to the impairing migraines she was used to waking up to. Her body felt heavy, her limbs feeling barely there, as if she was not even sure they belonged to her. She was drifting, floating just underneath a blurry surface that she could not entirely break through.
"Rina….."A voice resonated through the dense mist that clouded her thoughts, sounding so distant yet so close, her ears barely hearing it.
"Rina, open your eyes." The gentle voice repeated, her body starting to feel lighter, a dull ache extending through every single limb. No. She did not want to wake up. Not just yet….
She let out a breath, for the first time realizing that she was comfortably lying on something soft, blankets covering her body. Her eyelids twitched, trying to open them yet feeling so strangely heavy…..
"Take your time…" The soft voice repeated, her eyes slowly fluttering open to the bright light, squinting at first, the shapes and colors slowly starting to focus.
"It is good to see you awake." A figure hovered over her head, the handsome features of his face slowly become clearer, framed by long strands of ebony silky hair. A wide smile adorned his face, always so gentle, lighting the endless depth of his kind silver eyes.
"Elrohir…" She greeted, her voice coming out hoarser than she had expected, as if she had not used it in a long time. And yet, the younger twin's smile only widened at the sound, silver eyes sparling beautifully at the soft golden sunlight that illuminated the vast chamber.
"How do you feel?" His question hung in the air for a while, her eyes taking a moment to look around her, landing on the familiar grand unused furniture of her own bedchamber in the Palace. The long ivory curtains swayed languidly at the soft breeze that swept through the open balcony, brushing a few pale flowers that the wind had unplugged over the polished marble floor.
It felt odd to be inside these chambers, even though they were her own, as if she could not remember the last time she had been there. Her brow furrowed in momentary confusion, eyes moving back to meet Elrohir's smiling silver orbs. Why was she there? How had she gotten there? What day was it? ….Where was….
"Dan?" She asked, her green eyes not departing from the younger twins' kind gaze, his smile never once disappearing from his face. Gracefully, he turned his head to the side, her eyes following his across the vast bedchamber and landing on an unmoving figure seemingly fast asleep on a large elegant couch.
"Ada drugged him last night without his consent." Elrohir explained, his voice still soft, brushing long strands of his dark hair behind his shoulder. "He had not slept in days."
"Days?" She was more confused than before, her mind trying to put pieces together but feeling as though she was forgetting something essential. And yet, the sole sight of Elladan sound asleep not too far away made her heart soar and her lips curve up in a smile. He looked tired, there was no doubt about that, and yet he looked so peaceful that for a second she wished that nobody would wake him in at least some long hours.
"Three days, to be exact." Elhorir added, leaning back on the high backed chair that had been placed beside her bed. She shifted under the covers, trying to push herself to sit, but her arms felt like jelly.
"Slowly, Rina." The younger twin quickly helped her up, gently easing her to sit against the intricate headboard.
"Three days what?" She asked again, her mind feeling so oddly juggled, fogged, not really understanding what Elrohir was taking about. A sudden pain in her right upper arm made her hiss, the unexpected sharp ache making her eyes dart in its direction, only to find white linen bandages covering it.
"You have been out for three days." Elrohir explained patiently, even though she did not miss the sudden sober look that crossed his eyes, suddenly burden by worry and pain.
Out for three days…..The words danced inside her head but did not fully register, playing over and over again like a distant poem….Her eyes remained glued to her arm, inspecting the bandages covering a wound she could not see….and then it flashed behind her eyes, an arrow flying past her arm, grazing her in the process, the pain returning once more with a sudden wave of memories that made her jump.
"What happened?" She asked urgently, her eyes suddenly wide. Her heart felt as though it was going to jump out of her chest. So many questions suddenly popped inside her mind, and she did not even know where to start. The fight…the orcs…there had been so many…her father? Was he all right? ….everyone else?...why was she here? In her chambers in the Palace? So the fighting was over now?
"Shh, it is all right, Rina." The younger twin added quickly, easily reading through her panicked tone. For the first time her eyes carefully swept through his tall handsome figure, greatly relieved to find hi mostly unharmed. There was a long gash marring his face, healing, running from underneath his right ear and across his cheek. But other than that, and a couple of bandages covering his left hand's fingers, he seemed fine.
"He is fine." Elrohir answered her question before it had left her lips, anticipating it the second her eyes turned to gaze at Elladan's sleeping figure. "Not a scratch."
"Are you sur…
"Only a couple of bruises, and of course the fact that he is uglier than me…." The younger twin cut her off before she could finish, a strange amused look crossing those silver eyes that studied her curiously, chuckling lightly. "But other than that he is entirely fine."
"You look the same!" She laughed lightly, the merry sparkle in his grin suddenly lifting the heavy mood that had plagued the room for a moment.
"We do not." His face contorted in exaggerated offense, as though she had insulted him, that sparkle of mischievousness gleaming in his eyes, and she narrowed her own green eyes in return.
But the light merry atmosphere did not last for long. There were still too many things that plagued her mind, too many things that she wanted to know.
"What happened?" Elrohir's eyes dropped to his lap for a second at her question, and when the lifted to meet hers they were coated by a somber shadow that felt so wrong in his ever gentle and kind eyes.
"You were impressive Rina." Even his voice had acquired a serious tone, dropping down to barely a whisper. His pale hands rested unmoving on his lap, perfectly folded, the soft breeze toying slowly with the loose strands of his dark silky hair. He wore a simple yet elegant tunic a rich royal blue, the color contrasting beautifully with his pale skin and dark hair, embroidered in silver thread. "terrifying….but impressive…I have never….I have never seen anything like that."
He stopped talking for a second, as if he could not find the words, letting out a breath before continuing.
"I do not really know what happened…" He confessed, silver eyes looking apologetically into hers, that silver shade so comforting, so inviting. And yet those ever gentle orbs were looking at her as if it was the first time he laid eyes on her, as if he was seeing something he never had before. "the storm picked up….everything turned white…a blinding light….and there was so much power….you had so much power….and then it stopped. The rider, the Nazugl," he spit the name as if only pronouncing it made ire burn through his veins. "shrieked, as though it had been burned, and then it disappeared into thin air, as if it had dematerialized. The orcs retreated almost instantly…
"Is it….dead?" She forced the words out of her throat, the words barely even audible, and for a long second he just stared at her in complete silence.
"No." He shook his head gently, the movement making his log dark hair brush the royal blue fabric at his shoulders. "I do not think the Nazgul is dead….but your power…I do not think it expected to encounter that…whatever you did, it has not returned."
"So it will stay away?" She did not want to fool herself, but could not help from hoping against hope that she was right, even though she could read the answer in the look that crossed his silver eyes.
"There is no way to know that, Rina." He answered her honestly, and even though they both know those were not the words she had wanted to hear, she was nonetheless grateful for his full honestly. "But it now knows exactly what kind of power resides here, n this realm….it is comparable to one of the rings….it might have scared it off…or it might have shown it a more tempting offer that a mere ring."
She swallowed once, using her hands to push away a strand of her gold hair behind her ear, absorbing his words in complete silence. And yet, part of her hand already known it. It had always been like that, had it not? Ever since she learned of her powers….there had always been that chance, that risk, that she could be seen as a weapon…but was not to a weapon? It had felt so good, so natural. She could still feel it perfectly clearly if she closed her eyes, how that power had cursed through her body, tingled at her fingertips. It had felt good. And she had wanted more.
"My father?" She shook her head from her wondering thoughts. It would help nobody to keep worrying about that anymore. Whatever would happen would happen, but now she would concentrate on the present.
"The King is fine." He smiled faintly at her, and even though she believed his words, they did not entirely convince her.
"He was here a couple of hours ago, watching over you, against my father's advice." He continued, the wind once again making the long ivory curtains brush the floor languidly.
"Against your father's….?
"He suffered some injuries…..dragon blood can burn as deeply as their fire." Elrohir clarified, not seeming about to go into detail, but she did not press it. "But it is nothing that may result life threatening. My father and the healers have already taken care of him, but he would not listen to anyone when instructed to remain in bed."
She almost wanted to chuckle, had the subject been of a lighter tone. She could not imagine anyone…not even Lord Elrond, managing to keep the stubborn mighty Elvenking in bed if he did not wish to.
"…And…." She had to stop talking, gathering the courage to ask the question that she most wanted to ask and yet feared the answer the most. "And Arahaelon?"
That was it. Just as she had feared. The second the name left her tongue a shadow of sorrow darkened Elrohir's silver eyes. No. A cold claw seemed to grasp her heart tightly and rip it into pieces, panic constricting her chest as the silence stretched, waiting for the younger twin to reply. But he did not say anything. He tried to smile at her comfortingly, but failed, his head slowly shaking from side to side.
"Is he…." She could not finish her question, the words choking inside her throat as she attempted to speak. No. Valar, no. She felt the claw inside her chest painfully constrict her heart, her breaths getting caught inside of her lungs, oxygen not really entering her body, which had turned momentarily to stone. She could still hear Lossenel's screams inside her head, so vividly, so raw…
"He is alive." Elrohir spoke, and yet even though his words were the most relieving she could have heard, they did not suffice to ease her fears. No. Even as he had spoken, that shadow, that pain, still lingered in the younger twin's silver eyes and sobering his handsome ever gentle face.
"But?" There was a 'but' to his answer. Even though he had not said it, she had read it on his face. She had to know, even though part of her did not want to. Once again Elrohir's eyes
looked at her for a long moment, a heart-wrenching smile appearing on his face, once that looked more sad than comforting. "He is alive, but…..?"
"I do not think I should be the one to inform you about Arahaelon's condition." He sighed, shaking his head, as if it pained him to merely tell her that. "You should hear it from your family."
"Ro….please. You have to tell me." She managed to say. It had been painful and terrifying enough to ask once, and the fear that gripped at her chest would not let her ask about her eldest brother again, out of sheer terror of what the answer might be.
The younger twins' eyes met hers, pearly white teeth biting at his lower lip for a moment, as if debating whether or not to answer…or what to answer her. And then he sighed, running his left hand through this long dark hair once before speaking, his face resigned.
"Arahaelon is not well, Rina." He stated, his eyes, posture, voice, suddenly those of a healer, reciting everything he knew while at the same time attempting not to be affected by his own words. "And…It does not appear that he will get better."
She did not know how to react. She could not react. It felt as if a bucket of iced cold water had suddenly landed over her head, freezing her body, her thoughts, her mind, and suddenly all she wanted was to fall right back to sleep, to not have yet woken up, where everything was safe and warm in the world of oblivion. And still it was as if she could feel it all over again, the images, thoughts and feeling running once again through her mind so vividly that for a second she could not even process Elrohir's presence next to her. She could feel it all, that rush of power coursing through her, the uncontrollable whirlpool that sent her flying around, her energy being swept away, out of control, unable to go forward, unable to get out. He had stirred her in the right direction. She did not know how he had done it, but he had gotten her out, had allowed her to find the balance she had so desperately needed. But why had he done such a stupid thing?! Why had he gone after her when the both of them knew the danger that could entail?!
"How so?" She managed to ask, her own voice bringing her thoughts back to the present, and she could not tell how she managed to remain so composed. Careful silver eyes met hers for a long second of silence, and once again it took the younger twin a moment before replying, his hand absently playing with the silver embroidery on the hem of his tunic. It suddenly crossed her mind that it was not the first time she had seen him wearing that particular garment, and yet she could not remember when had he worn it last, feeling as tough that day belonged perhaps to a different lifetime, when she had not even known her true name.
"We do not know." Elorhir spoke, his voice always gentle, yet not hiding anything from her.
"What do you mean you do not know?" Her words remained calmed, even though she could feel a storm brewing inside of her, not knowing whether it would explode eventually or consume her internally.
"He has not woken up yet." The younger twin narrated, once again the gentle healer, even though his eyes betrayed that he wished he could deliver better news. "My father and the Palace healers cannot tell if he will. There were a lot of injuries, Rina. Many more than we anticipated. I honestly cannot understand how he was even walking that night. Suh injuries…they were no accidents, but it impossible to tell yet how much will that affect him. The wounds have not started to heal yet, his body is too weak for that."
"And the…connection? Did that…" She could not finish her question, trying but failing to conceal the fear from sowing in her green eyes. Once again Elrohrir fell quiet. she knew he had been evading that question specifically. But she needed to know.
"We cannot tell yet." The younger twin replied again, the golden sunlight tracing stunning patterns on his long curtain of ebony hair. "My father and healers cannot reach his spirit without endangering his life at the moment. His spirit is too weak. However your powers work…he was not able to handle such power, Rina, and he knew it. He must have known it. It is impossible yet to tell if there is any damage to his spirit…but if there is…" He stopped to swallow thickly, his eyes departing from hers to look outside the wall long windows. "If there is more damage than his spirit already had….. then his fate is sealed. No elf can survive that Rina."
"But he is alive." She said, holding onto that faint thread of hope like a lifeline. And yet, even though the younger tin nodded in reply, his face did not hold the edge of hope that she had silently expected, silently wished for.
"I have to go see him." She pushed the sheets and covers aside, swinging her legs over the edge of the her bed, ignoring Elrohir's sudden protests.
"Rina, you should stay in bed. You just woke up. You might feel dizzy" But she ignored him, her mind running too fast, desperate for something to do, to find some way in which she could help.
"I do not feel dizzy." She contradicted him, and it was true. She felt slightly tired, but otherwise fine, as if she had merely had a long sleep. A slight shudder travelled down her spine as her bare feet met the cold marble floor, quickly rushing to find some leather slippers to slide on.
"Rina, please return to bed." Elorhir kept asking her, even though she could read in his voice that she would not listen, his eyes silently pleading her.
"I cannot simply in bed, Ro." She added, her hands throwing on the first silk robe she could find over her night dress.
"Elladan will murder me for letting you get up so soon." Elrohir breathed out, shaking his head in the process. His gentle silver eyes glanced one at his twins' unmoving sleeping figure on the couch, as if he could already see him waking up with furious eyes.
"It will be fine, Ro." Was all she said, her hand already turning the golden doorknob and hurrying outside the long hallway, closing the door behind her.
She stopped at the sight that met her eyes. This familiar corridor, where she had been so many times before, looks as if she barely even knew it, suddenly feeling so strange, so different. There were servants at every corner and door, healers rushing up and down, and it occurred to her that never before had this comfortable, welcoming space, felt so cold. She was met with many "My Lady"s that she did not even register, her eyes travelling slowly up and down the tall stone walls that seemed to silently weep and moan. Outside, through the balcony that culminated the long corridor, she could see the forest. Except it was not the forest. It was ashes and burnt trees, it was pain, and horror, and dead. Not even the ever green and lush grass was there, replaced instead by burnt dry dirt, so hollow, so haunting.
"Rëa!" Her head snapped towards the sound, her eyes breaking away from the sight that was so painful to see. Tadion was staring at her, standing at the doorway to Arahaelon's chambers, his right hand still holding to the doorknob behind his back, the door closing shut with a silent click.
"You are awake! How do you feel?" He was rushing in her directions, clear blue eyes running up and down her figure for any sign of visible injures, relief washing over his handsome face. But there was something else in his face, something that did not seen quite right, that did not align with the carefree ever welcoming, ever laughing brother she had come to know. No. He looked older, tired, as if a sudden weigh had fallen over his shoulders and he could not quite lift if, slowly crushing him. Even his eyes, those ever laughing morning sky eyes seemed darker, somber, the light that always shone from their welcoming depths suddenly seeming to have extinguished.
"I feel fine." She hurried to answer, trying to offer him a smile but it never reached her lips. She could not smile. Not when his azure eyes looked so troubled, so pained.
He nodded his head quickly, a strange expression that seemed half-relieved and half-stressed crossing the perfectly angled features of his face, brushing a strand of his golden hair behind a pointed ear. She did not miss the way his fingers shook at the movement, even though he did not seem to notice it. Valar, he looked as though he had not slept in days.
She opened her mouth to speak, trying to say anything that would comfort him even a little, but the words stuck inside her throat as his usually bright and smiling eyes turned to pierce through her sharply, a new kind of despair crossing his face, suddenly angry, almost furious.
"Why did you do it?!" He suddenly yelled at her, her whole body going still at the unexpected outburst, but could not find anything to answer, too shocked at the sudden anger her brother was displaying, desperate pained eyes glaring at her. "Why did you do it, Rëa?! Why did you join the connection?!"
"I…" She started, the words barely leaving her mouth, taking an involuntary step back. She had never seen Tadion like this, so stressed, so angry, so….scared, his hands running through his face and hair as he yelled, as if needing something to do with his shaking fingers.
"Ar was telling you not to!" His voice got even louder, and she stifled a shudder, swallowing once thickly. A few of the servants rushing through the corridor had turned to look at the uncharacteristic display of anger from their Prince, but had discreetly looked away, not knwong how to react. "He was screaming at you not to do it! Why did you not listen to him?! You should have known he would go after you! You should have!
"Tadion!" Another voice suddenly yelled, even though her brother did not even seem to listen, blue eyes burning through her, every single one of his words cutting like a knife through her spirit.
"You should have listened to him! He was telling you not to do it! HE WAS TELLIGN YOU NOT TO DO IT!"
"TADION! STOP!" Legolas' voice roared again through the crowded corridor, his hands suddenly landing firmly on the Prince's shoulders, pushing him back and slightly away from her. But Tadion only shoved Legola's hands away from his shoulders, his shaking has running through his face in obvious stress. Tadion opened his mouth, but did not seem to find any words that would come out, closing it again, his face so tortured, so despaired that it hurt to see. It was almost as if he had lost all control of himself.
"He is going to die." He finally spoke, his voice breaking as it left his lips, and never had any voice sounder so sour, so bitter, troubled blue eyes still burning mercilessly through hers, his hands shaking.
"He is going to die, and that is on you." He spat, looking directly at her, his words butting through her skin and tearing through her heart, the accusation in his eyes a look that would haunt her forever.
"Tadion!" Legolas intervened again, but Tadion smacked his hands away before the younger Prince could touch him. And then, without a single word, he turned around, rushing away through the long corridor and into his own bedchambers, the door slamming closed so harshly that the whole stone wall seemed to shake in protest.
"I am sorry for-" Legolas broke the cold asphyxiating silence that had settled over the corridor, his infinite blue eyes offering her an apologetic look, and even there in those sea colored irises the usual light was missing. He too, looked as though he had not properly slept in days.
"Do not." Was all she said, lifting a hand in a silencing gesture, not even turning to glance at Legolas before slowly walking down the elegant corridor. She did not want his apology. She did not want anyone's apology.
Tadion's words felt like salt to an open wound, tearing through her flesh like hungry teeth, hurting more than she could even star to explain. Ar had yelled at her no to join the connection. He had yelled at her not to. And he had gone after her. Why had he done that?! Why would he do that?!
The elegantly crafted door was right in front of her, and yet she could not force her hand to turn the golden doorknob, to push it open. She could not, Tadion's words still tearing through her heart like a fiery sword. She wanted to go in. she desperately wanted to step into the Crown Prince's bedchambers, to verify with her own eyes that he was indeed still breathing. But she could not do it. What if she was not ready for what she would see? It had happened again. His powers had met hers, had joined in the connection. The very thing he had been terrified of had occurred. What if it had been her fault? No, she had not done anything wrong. She had not wanted to harm Arahaelon. Ever but the voice inside her head that kept reminding her of that was growing weaker and weaker, Tadion's acussation too fresh inside her thoughts. No. She had not asked Arahaelon go after her in the connection, but he had anyway. And she had been the stronger force. She felt like a danger, a threat to her own eldest brother.
A pale hand curled over the doorknob she had been starting at for the last ten seconds, turning it in silence, and for the first time she realized that Legolas had been following her. He gently pushed the door open, which did not even make a sound, revealing a narrow crease into the comfortably dark chambers.
She did not speak, did not even meet Legolas' eyes, ashamed to look into his face when Tadion's accusation still felt so heavy on her shoulders, so possibly true. Instead, she slowly walked into the large bedchamber, her eyes blinking a couple of times in order to adjust to the dim light.
But she never managed to get far into the room, freezing on the spot only a couple of steps in. the room was partially dark, the long dark blue curtains had been drawn over the wall long windows to prevent the too bright sunlight form entering the room. Instead, the only light that washed the room was the flickering orange flames of the fire that danced and crackled at the grand fireplace, warming the room a little bit too much.
The King and Queen were there. It was the first thing she noticed, both of their elegant figures seating by the side of the bed, backs hunched, almost defeated. The Queen's thin hands held tightly to her eldest son's pale right hand, almost as if scared of ever letting go, her frail looking body sitting on a cushioned chair that almost seemed to swallow her, golden waves cascading down her back. Next to her was the King, sitting on a second chair placed by the bed, his bac towards the door. His silvery hair looked golden under the orange tint the fire casted, left entirely unbraided, no crown resting over his head. Her father was not even wearing robes, merely an elegant silver tunic and leggings, the most informal she had ever seen him. Her heart clenched at the sight of heavy bandages covering her father's left arm, shoulder and torso, even the King himself did not even seem aware of that, his ice blue eyes only focused on his son, fingers stroking gently down Arahaelon's hair, smoothing it over the pillow.
Lord Elrond was there too, standing at the other side of the bed, dark violet robes cascading elegantly down his tall figure. The Elf-Lord's eyes were closed, his fingers expertly curled around Arahaelon's left wrist, a look of intense concentration on his face.
Her breath caught inside her throat, Tadion's words once again torturing her mind. No. She had not been ready for this sight. She had never wanted to see it. It had been her. It had been her powers. She tried to shake the guilt away, but she could not. And it was consuming her, chocking her, clawing at her throat from the inside.
The Crown Prince lay pale and fragile on the overly large bed in the center of the room. Not even the orange tint of the flames seeming to cast any color on his nearly ashen skin. The first thing that troubled her was how still he was. Too still. The only sing that he was alive at all was the slight, shallow, and irregular rise and fall of his chest. His eyes were closed, the impenetrable emerald irises that seemed so strong, so determined, hidden from view, making the sight all the more terrifying, all the more heart-wrenching. He looked…frail….not like her eldest brother, not like the Arahaelon that made her feel so young and naïve in his noble and tall presence. Linen bandages covered nearly every inch of his body, his right shoulder, both of his wrists, where she had seen the raw and blistered skin from the ropes tying his hands together, chest, abdomen, and then disappearing underneath the thick extra blankets that had been piled over his unmoving pale figure.
"Almarëa." The Queen was the fort to notice her presence, her soft voice echoing through the still and heavy silence that covered the bedchamber that had once felt like a safe place to her. Her mother's eyes turned in her direction, green meeting green, a face so much like her own staring directly at her.
But she could not stay. She could not watch this. Not when it felt as though it had been her fault. Not when the overconsuming guilt closed around her throat like claws and clogged her airways. Not when the Crown Prince, the tall, powerful Crown Prince looked so close to death.
And she ran. Her feet moving as fast as they could take her, not bothering to listen to the Queen calling after her, to her father as he attempted slowly to stand up from the chair, wincing visibly in pain. She only ran, exiting the room, and through the long corridor as fast as she could, wanting to escape the bedchamber, the sight, the overwhelming guilt that no matter how fast she ran would always catch up with her, the Queen's rushed footsteps following hers….
Hi there! Here is chapter 59! Almost 60! Again I apologize for the long wait, but I truly hope this little tense chapter is worth the wait! Things are not easy and are not about to get easy for the Mirkwood Royal Family at the moment hehe….
Thank you so much to all of you for your patience during this long lapse without chapters. and again thank you so very much to those of you who reviewed, I really appreciate every single one of your thoughts and opinions of the story so far, and it makes me overjoyed to hear that you are still enjoying this quite long story: AndurilofTolkien, WriterchickRuby, thrndlwood, Saum the Smol Teddy, 44444555, Amsim, Stardust043, brandibuckeye, Hyuuga Senpai, Ari-Skywalker, artvandelay5001, Flower-Uchiha, Another Sindar, StarFilledSkies, glassary, and helenaxo.
Love,
Elena