Chapter 15
Songs:
Like I'm Gonna Lose You, Meghan Trainor
Livin' On A prayer, Bon Jovi
In Between, LINKIN PARK
*Link to YouTube playlist in chapter one.
** We're backing up to the day of Masen's accident.
July through September 2012
Bella
"I'll see you at home," I whisper against his lips. My arms are wrapped around his neck and his hands are tucked into my back pockets, holding me against him.
"You sure will. We can finish this later." The sun catches Masen's blue eyes, lighting them up and making them even brighter. When he smiles down at me, it makes me smile in return.
He kisses me one last time, deep and thoroughly, before I step away. I linger, though, my finger hooked through his belt loop. I'm not quite ready to leave just yet.
"Don't stay late tonight," I say, stepping backward toward the car.
He eyes me up and down and grins. "I can guarantee I'll be home on time."
"Good." I wink and duck into the car, starting the engine. I don't have to look toward the shop to know there are a pair of green eyes on us ... on me. I've felt them on us since not long after Masen and me sat down to eat. But I ignore it and wave at Mase as I drive away.
I only glance in the rearview mirror once.
When I walk through the door of the apartment, I shake off the weirdness I've felt since I visited Cullen and Sons, and the residual tension leaves my body. As much as I wanted to spend a little time with Masen on his lunch break, it was also the first time I've been that close to Edward in months. Even without speaking to him, or looking at him, feeling his presence was enough to push me slightly off-kilter. But here in my space—a space I share with Masen—I feel like I can breathe.
The unfolded laundry I abandoned when Masen called me to bring him some cash is still waiting for me, and I know I need to finish it up so I can run to the grocery store. There are only so many hours in my days off to get shit done.
I'm halfway through the aisles of the grocery store when my phone rings, the caller ID flashing a number I don't recognize.
"Hello?"
"Is this Isabella Swan?"
"Speaking."
"We you need to come down to First Memorial. Masen Cullen was just brought in, and he has you listed as an emergency contact."
I practically run through the automatic doors of the ER, heading straight to the registration desk.
"Masen Cullen was brought in. Someone called me and said he'd been in an accident."
I'm breathless, panting from running from the car. My heart pounds as I wait for the desk clerk to make a call.
"Your name?"
"Isabella Swan."
She picks up a phone and dials a number, murmuring through the receiver as I stand there gripping the edge of the desk. It feels like forever before she waves me through the double doors leading to the triage area. "He's in treatment room seventeen."
I don't spare her more than a thank you before sprinting past her in search of Masen. I get turned around once, but finally find his room. What I see when I walk through the door makes my stomach tie in a knot and a lump form in my throat.
His face is bruised and bloody, his knuckles are red and scraped, and his left arm and leg are bandaged, the extent of his more serious injuries hidden from view.
"Mase," I manage to say in a strangled whisper.
"Hey." His voice is rough and gravelly, and he sounds like he's a little spaced out. He holds out his good arm and motions me to come to him. "Come here."
I walk toward him, afraid to touch him but aching to at the same time. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't. They already pumped me full of some good stuff." His grin is lazy as he beckons me closer. "Please. I ... I just need to hold you."
Giving into what we both seem to need, I sit on the side of his bed, his uninjured arm going around my waist. "I was so scared," I whisper, my voice breaking. Tears burn my eyes, and I swallow, trying to keep them at bay.
"I'm okay, babe. It's nothing that won't heal. They'll patch me up and send me home with some good drugs." His unfocused eyes meet mine, and he grins. "Then I'll have you to play nurse for a few weeks."
"Oh, shut up." I may be on the verge of crying, but I can't stop the giggle that escapes. As my eyes travel over his bruised face, the road rash on his arm, I'm faced with the realization that I could have so easily lost him today. "I thought ... when they called, they couldn't tell me how bad you were hurt, so I thought the worst the whole drive over. They couldn't tell me ..." All of my emotions bubble to the surface, and I burst into tears.
"Shh. Come here." Masen holds me to his chest as I cry, comforting me, even though he's the one who's hurt. "I'm okay," he says softly. "It's okay, baby."
"I just ..." A thousand thoughts fly through my mind, and the one that makes my heart ache is thinking he could have been taken from me. I could have been left alone ... abandoned ... again. "Nothing can happen to you, Mase. I love you so much, and ..."
He kisses my temple, his lips lingering. "I'm not goin' anywhere, Bella."
After a few more hours, his arm and leg have been casted, and he's been instructed on how to get around and what to watch for with his concussion. Finally, he's released. When he's wheeled through the exit, a few of the guys from the shop are still lingering. I struggle to fit Masen's crutches in the hatch, and I suddenly have no idea how I'm going to manage to get him home by myself.
Mase tries to protest, but I insist the guys stick around to help me get him in the Honda. And I'm glad I do. Mac and Jazz don't even break a sweat lifting him into the car.
As he's buckled in and Mac teases him about needing training wheels on his bike, I catch sight of Edward lingering near the building. He doesn't say anything; he just stands there, watching. And when I notice the bruising on his face and his knuckles, I look back to Masen's similar injuries and put two and two together.
As badly as I want answers, I know now isn't the time to get them.
"Want us to follow you home, B?" Mac asks.
"If you don't mind. And maybe you can sit with him while I run to the pharmacy?"
"Sure thing."
Watching our friends struggle to help Mase up the stairs and inside the apartment is hard. I want to help, but I know I'd only be in the way. So, I pick up his meds at the pharmacy and make a quick stop at the grocery store, grabbing the essentials I left in my cart earlier. By the time I get back from running the last-minute errands, I'm exhausted.
I thank Mac for sticking around, and before he leaves, he promises to check in on us tomorrow. Groceries are put away, and Mase's prescriptions are lined up on the nightstand with a glass of water before I crawl into bed beside him. He's sound asleep, and I get as close as I dare, snuggling into his good side.
Staring up at his bruised face, I question if his obvious fight with his brother led to his accident. But I don't want to push him to talk about it. At least not tonight. He's been through enough for one day. Tonight he needs his rest.
I place a kiss on his chest and lay my head there, listening to the soothing sounds of his deep, even breaths before falling asleep.
The next morning I'm awoken by a groan.
"What's wrong?" I ask, only half awake.
"Hurts." Masen grunts as he shifts beside me. "I think the medication they gave me is out of my system." His voice is raspy, still rough with sleep.
I sit up and rub my eyes, reaching over him to grab the bottle of pain pills. I shake one out into my palm. "Here, you can take one of these every six hours."
He takes it from me, accepting the glass of water I hand him, too.
I lean over and kiss him. "I'm pretty sure you should eat something with that, so I'll get you some breakfast before I jump in the shower. I have to be at work early today, but I'll be home earlier, too."
He pouts as I climb out of the bed. "You're leaving me?"
"Mase," I say with a laugh, "you know I'm scheduled to work today."
"How am I ..." He thumps his head against the headboard and hisses in pain. "How the hell am I going to get around? I don't know if I can even get up on my own to take a piss."
I point to the crutches leaning against the wall near the bed. "No time like the present to figure those out."
By the time I've made him some toast and showered, he's managed to hobble from the bed to the couch. But I realize very quickly Masen Cullen isn't the world's best patient.
He huffs in frustration as he shifts in his seat on the couch.
"What's wrong?" I ask as I pull my hair up into a ponytail.
"I can't get comfortable. Fucking ..." He groans, and I'm not sure if he's in pain or is just frustrated. "My leg isn't high enough and my arm really fucking hurts. Do we have any more pillows? Maybe propping everything up a little more will help."
"I can grab the pillows from the bed," I offer, already walking toward it. I grab both mine and his and somehow get them into place so that he's a little more comfortable. "Better?"
"Yeah. Thank you." He puckers his lips, and I can't refuse him when he looks so pitiful. "What time do you have to leave for work?"
"I have a little time." I sit beside him on the couch and rest my head on his shoulder. I take his hand, and my fingers trace lines over his still-bruised knuckles. "So, are we going to talk about this?" I ask, my voice low.
"What about it? I wrecked my bike, B."
"Then why did your brother have matching marks on his hands and face when I saw him at the hospital yesterday?"
He sighs as his head hits the back of the couch. "We ... had words."
"Words?"
His head swivels and his worried eyes meet mine.
"Tell me," I whisper.
"He saw you at the shop yesterday and we got into it."
"Over me?"
"Yeah, B, over you."
"But ... why?"
"He didn't know you and me were together."
"Oh."
"Yeah, he didn't take it too well."
"Masen, you were fine when I left you after lunch, and less than an hour later the hospital called me. Did ... did you ride off after fighting with your brother? Is this his fault?" I move like I'm going to stand. "That son of a—"
Masen grips my hand tighter. "Hey," he says, tugging me back to him, "it's not E's fault. I'm the one who rode out of there like an idiot."
"But if you two hadn't fought—"
"Bella, stop," he says softly. "Yes, we had words, but it's over ... done."
My fingers play idly with his as I stare down at them. "I don't like the idea of the two of you fighting over me," I say softly.
He chuckles and I look up at him. "What did you think was going to happen when he found out? Did you really think he was going to give me a pat on the back and wish us well?" He shakes his head. "It was a long time coming. I'm surprised we've been able to keep it from him for this long anyway. It was bound to happen sooner or later."
"But you could have been—"
He pecks me on the lips, silencing me. "I wasn't." He rests his forehead on mine and closes his eyes. "I'm okay, B. Look, I knew telling him wouldn't go over well." He smiles. "But we knocked the shit out of each other, so we pretty much got it out of our systems. We'll both take some time to cool off, then we'll talk. Things will be fine. You'll see."
"So, I need to ask for more hours? Get another job? What? Help me figure out what I need to do, Masen."
I'm frustrated, angry with our situation. On his own, Masen can pay all the bills, but that's about it. With my income, we've been able to save a little and have some fun with the extra. But I don't make as much as he does. Trying to make ends meet on my pay alone, our bank accounts are starting to shrink after just a handful of weeks. Even with the meager savings we both have, without Masen's paycheck, it's only a matter of time before we won't be able to make rent or pay the utilities.
"I ... I don't know." He runs a hand through his hair and grips it, resting his elbow on the table and looking up at me. "You can't ask for more hours. Mrs. Clearwater already made an exception to let you work full time. But to ask you to work another job ... Bella, I can't let you—"
"Would you? If it were me who had been in an accident and we needed the extra money, would you pick up more work to make ends meet?"
"Of course, I would. But it's my job to take care of you, Bella, not the other way around."
I laugh and grab his empty plate before carrying it to the sink. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." I look over my shoulder. "We're a team, right?"
He's quiet, considering it for a moment. "We are," he finally says.
"So, we'll figure it out. I'll do what I have to do until you can go back to work." I go back to scrubbing the dishes, thinking of the community message board at the grocery store. There are always odd jobs posted there. Maybe I can find a baby-sitting job or a paper route, or even a—
The plate I'm rinsing slips from my hands when Masen is suddenly at my back, his lips ghosting over my neck as he whispers against my skin.
"I love you."
I turn back, meeting his eyes, and I smile. "I love you, too."
"I also don't deserve you, Bella."
I sigh and grab a towel to dry my hands. Turning to face him, my arms rest on his shoulders, and my fingers play with the ends of his hair. I'm careful not to jostle him so I don't knock him off balance. "Why would you say that?"
He shrugs a shoulder. "I just ... I've never had anyone care enough to go out of their way for me."
"I'm pretty sure your grandma would disagree."
He scowls and purses his lips. "And I'm pretty sure she would say she did what she did because she had to."
I rise up on my tiptoes and kiss him. "We're in this together. A team, remember?"
"Yeah."
"Then let me do this without throwing a fit. Maybe I have to get up a few hours earlier to deliver newspapers or something. It's not the end of the world."
"Thank you." He wraps his good arm around my waist and pulls me closer for a kiss. It doesn't take long for us to deepen it. It's been weeks since we've been together, and the tension between us in the last few days has made it painfully clear that we both could use a release.
His lips pull away, and he rests his forehead on mine, his eyes still closed. "Damn."
My gaze falls to his tented basketball shorts, and I echo his sentiment in my head. "Do you, uh ... do you think you're feeling up to ..."
His eyes pop open and he swallows ... hard. "Don't tease me if you're not—"
"Who said I was teasing?" My hand falls to his, and I play with the fingers poking out of his cast. "As long as we're careful, right? The doctor said it was just a matter of when you felt up to it." I inch closer and whisper against his lips. "If you're feeling up to it, I think we could both use a good orgasm."
He licks his lips and smiles as his eyes bounce between mine and my mouth. I know he can feel it too. "You gonna be gentle with me?"
The corners of my mouth turn up. "When am I not?" I pull away, my fingertips slowly slipping away from his, and I tilt my head toward the bed on the other side of the room. "Come on."
Instead of pulling him behind me, I let him hobble over at his own pace while I pull back the sheets and blankets and arrange our pillows so he'll be comfortable. And when he reaches the bed, I help him slip his shorts past his hips before he lowers himself to the edge of the mattress.
His breaths come faster as I lower myself to my knees and work the fabric past his cast and completely off.
"You look good down there," he says, his grin wide. He reaches for me with his good hand and pushes my hair behind my ear, cupping my cheek. His voice lowers to a whisper. "You're so damn beautiful."
He leans down and I reach up, our lips meeting in the middle. His grasp of my cheek moves to the back of my neck, and he pulls me closer. It takes all my restraint not to climb up and straddle him, but I manage. I know I need to be careful and help him get comfortable first.
"Scoot up," I say, my own breaths coming faster now. I scramble to my feet and pull my shirt over my head while he struggles to remove his. He's got one arm out, but he's having a hard time pulling it past the other. "Let me help."
When he's divested of his clothes, he scoots back into the pile of pillows, his movements cumbersome and slow. I rush to remove the rest of my clothes, and when I finally turn back to him, he's got an amused smile on his face.
"In a hurry?" he asks, a twinkle in his eyes.
I grin and shake my head. "Shut up. It's been a while, okay?"
"Oh, I know very well how long it's been." He reaches out for me with his good hand. "Come here."
I go willingly, allowing him to pull me close. My body is pressed against his side, and when his lips touch mine, the need and want I've held inside for weeks scratch their way to the surface. I hitch my leg over him, and it feels like I can't get close enough.
"I want you so bad," he murmurs against my lips.
I pull away, and his lips follow, wrapping around a nipple as I reach for the bedside table drawer where the condoms are stashed. Grabbing blindly, I end up with two or three in my grasp. They're tossed on the bed beside us, and I go back to focusing on Masen.
His skin is warm and smooth, and his touch sends a rush of goosebumps across my skin as his fingers dance across my heated flesh. I feel myself getting more and more aroused, and as much as I'm enjoying this, I think if I don't have him inside me soon, I'm going to spontaneously combust.
I reach for a condom and rip it open.
"A little anxious?" he asks, swiping a thumb across his lower lip as he watches me pull the latex from its wrapper.
"You could say that." I place it over his tip and roll it down. My eyes flash to his. "I don't hear you complaining."
The corner of his mouth lifts in a crooked grin. "I'm not." He steadies me with one hand as I move to straddle him, careful not to bump his bad leg.
I hold myself over him for just a moment, staring intently into his eyes. This—he and I—could have easily been taken away, and I'm so grateful to still have him. And judging by his expression—the depth of emotion in his gaze—he feels the same.
Our eyes stay locked on one another as I reach down, guiding him inside as I sink down. My eyes close and my head falls back as he fills me. He groans, and his grip on me tightens, both of us stilling when he's fully inside.
"You good?" I ask, afraid to move for fear I'll hurt him.
"So good."
I look down then, seeing him staring at me. "Yeah?" I swivel my hips once, testing out our position.
He groans again. "Oh, yeah."
My hands slide up his chest and rest on his shoulders, and I begin to move. My hips rock and swivel, his good hand guiding my movements. With him propped on the pillows, he's angled close, and all I have to do is lean down a little to kiss him.
Slowly and carefully, I move, but it's been weeks. No matter how slowly I move, no matter how much I want this to last, the telltale tingles start to spark inside me. Before either of us is ready for it to be over, my orgasm rockets through me without warning, warmth filling my veins and pleasure rolling up and down my spine. My eyes are squeezed shut, and my mouth hangs open, a breathless gasp escaping as a groan comes from him, his dick pulsing inside me.
I collapse against his chest, panting and my heart racing, even though it's over so fast.
"Well, damn," Mase says with a breathless laugh. "That was kind of embarrassing." He kisses my forehead and trails a gentle hand up and down my back. "Think we can try that again?"
When I walk through the door of the apartment, I'm not greeted with the usual noise. There's no sound coming from the TV, there's no music playing; Masen doesn't even greet me when I walk in.
"Mase?" I toss my keys on the table and step farther inside. The lights are dim, so I don't see him at first, but he's in his usual spot, reclined back in the armchair. "Hey, you okay?" I step to his side and run a hand through his hair.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I didn't hear you come in." He puckers his lips for a kiss, and I lean down to oblige. "How was your day?"
"Long." I collapse onto the sofa and kick off my shoes. "I'm beat."
He reaches for my hand, and I lace my fingers with his. "I'm sorry you've had to take on so much after my accident."
My head falls back against the sofa, and I smile in his direction. "We're a team, remember?"
His grin is half-hearted at best. "Yeah, we are."
"Wanna tell me why you're sitting here in the dark, staring off into space?"
He hesitates, but only briefly. "E came by this afternoon."
I raise my brows but quickly try to school my expression. "Oh. How did it go?"
He shrugs a shoulder as he stares down at our joined hands. "Fine. We talked."
"Was it a good talk?"
He nods slowly. "It was."
"Are you two on speaking terms again?"
His eyes meet mine. "Would you be okay with that if we are?"
I give him the most sincere smile I can, even though I still have conflicted feelings about it. "He's your brother, Mase. I've always hated the thought that I'd come between you two. You need him in your life."
"I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Then I'll keep my distance for now ... until things are less weird."
He pulls our hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"And you're a lucky son of a bitch." I get up from the sofa and lean down to kiss him. "I need to make us some dinner."
"Have a nice day," I say to the retreating customers, smiling as they walk out the door.
I return to taking inventory of the plastic and paper products Mrs. Clearwater will need to order. When the bell over the door rings, I call out over my shoulder, "I'll be with you in just a moment." I scribble down the count of napkins and place the clipboard on the counter before spinning around.
"Hello, welcome to ..." My words and smile fall flat when I see who's walked into the ice cream shop. "Alice."
"Hey, Bella. Do you have some time to talk?"
"Sure. At least until someone comes in."
"Can we sit?" She points to the small tables that line the room, and I nod in acquiescence.
Swinging the small half-height door out of the way, I step out to the other side of the counter and sit at one of the tables.
"How have you been?" she asks. "I heard about you and Masen, and—"
"But you haven't bothered to come by and see how he is?" I snap, already on the defensive.
She sighs, looking down at a paper napkin she's currently destroying. "I deserved that. I've been a shitty friend and sister." Alice looks up at me. "I can say I'm sorry, but I'm not sure it would cover just how bad I feel about everything."
"No, I get it. You were just caught up in everyday life. It's easy to lose track of friends and stuff. You had a new nephew and a boyfriend, after all."
She smiles ruefully, her brown eyes full of regret, and sits back in her chair. "I was a bitch, Bella. You can say it. I was self-centered and only focused on myself. There is no excuse for how I've acted the last year and a half. I want to try and make it right if I can. If you'll let me."
I ponder her suggestion, wondering if I can let go of the hurt she's caused me ... how she basically abandoned me so many months ago for more important things. There was a time when she was the closest thing I had to a sister. She was my best friend before I grew so close to Masen.
And I want it back in my life.
"I think I'd like that."
Her face lights up, and she leans forward in her chair. "Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, if you really want to, who am I to tell you no?"
She hops out of her chair and rushes around to my side of the table, wrapping her arms around me. "Oh, Bella, I'm so glad to hear you say that."
We talk until another customer comes in. Alice surprises me when she doesn't leave. She ends up spending hours at the shop, ordering ice cream and then a drink, chatting with me when there's a lull between people. She talks my ear off, which is no surprise, but what does surprise me is she doesn't mention Edward or his son once. It feels good to catch up, to talk like we haven't in so long ... back before my world got turned upside down.
As closing approaches, I begin to wonder if she's going to ask to come home with me. I don't have to wait long before she gathers the courage to ask me what I assume was her question from the moment she walked through the door.
"So."
"So?" I counter, my brow raised.
"Jasper asked me to marry him."
My mouth gapes. "Really?"
She nods, her smile so happy it makes me grin, too. "Really." She holds out her hand and shows me her engagement ring. "I know it's not much, but I love it."
It's a small stone, but it's perfectly sized for her delicate hand.
"It's beautiful, Ali."
"You really think so?"
"I do." I open my arms for a hug and she moves in to squeeze me. "I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks." She pulls away, her hands moving to hold onto mine. "I'm hoping that you'll be my maid of honor."
"You want me to be in your wedding?"
"And I know what you're probably thinking, but you're wrong. It's not the reason I want to fix things between us. You were my best friend—are my best friend—and I can't imagine sharing my big day with anyone else. I don't want anyone else. I know I screwed up. I know I'm the one who shut you out, but I hope we can put all that behind us and you'll agree to stand up for me."
"Wow," I breathe, completely caught off guard by her news and her request.
"Please say you will?"
I shake my head, trying to think clearly. "Have you set a date yet?"
She nods her head. "February twenty-third."
"So soon? Ali, that's like five months."
"I know, but we don't want to wait. Please say you'll do it?"
I swallow down my reservations, namely being involved in anything where I might have to see or interact with Edward. But as I stare into the hopeful eyes of my friend, I realize if I really want to move forward—move beyond everything that's happened in the last couple of years—I need to try.
"Yeah, Alice, I'd love to be your maid of honor."
A/N: So, we didn't cover a new time frame, but we're starting to see where Bella and Masen's struggles began. And do you think Bella forgave Alice too quickly? That seems to be her MO, though. I'd love to know what you think!
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