Chapter 17
Songs:
Saints And Sinners, Godsmack
After the Rain, Nickelback
All Or Nothing, Theory of a Deadman
*Link to YouTube playlist in chapter one.
*Fiddling was had. All mistakes are mine.
***POSTING SCHEDULE CHANGE in A/N below!**
February through early April 2013
Masen
Mac whistles as he circles around my new-to-me Sportster, Rose standing off to the side. "That's one good-lookin' set of wheels, kid."
"Thanks."
"Of fucking course it's a good-lookin' set of wheels, ya asshole!" Tank shouts from his spot near the picnic tables. "I took damn good care of that bike." His voice lowers to a grumble, but we can all still hear him. "And it was about time he came and got the damn thing. It was taking up valuable space in my garage."
"How's that Electra Glide working out for ya, old man?" I ask, my grin widening when he scowls at my jab about his age.
He flips me the bird and goes back to talking to Pop, leaving me to show off my new wheels to a few more of the guys.
It was a big decision to make—to take out a loan for this thing after the year we've had—but Bella understood how much it meant for me to trade up once I got my slickback, even if it means money will be tight for a few years. Now I can wear my prospect patch and not have to worry about some other opinionated motherfucker giving me lip about my ride.
I eventually join the rest of the guys as we wait for church. I'm kicked back at the picnic table, having a cigarette when Bella pulls into the lot. I flick away my smoke and walk toward her, my swagger still all jacked up from the spill I took last summer.
"Hey, babe."
"Hey, you," she says as she slams the car door shut.
I wrap an arm around her waist and tug her close. "This is a nice surprise." I lay a kiss on her lips, the guys behind me catcalling and whistling.
Bella pulls away, her cheeks bright pink. "Rose asked me to meet her here. We're going to a movie tonight. And I wanted to see the bike." She points toward where it's parked close to the shop. "Is that it?"
"Yeah. Come on." I grab her hand and lead her toward it.
"I like it." She turns to me and smiles. "When can we take it out for a ride?"
I grin and pull her back into my arms. "If these guys don't have some ridiculous errand to send me on after church, we can take it out tonight after you get home."
"I like the sound of that." She slips from my arms and goes back to the bike, running a hand over the black tank. "And this is a what?"
"A Sportster."
"Can I …" She motions to the seat, asking permission.
I grin and shoot her a wink. "You're the only one allowed to sit on it."
She throws a leg over the seat and settles in, reaching for the grip with her right hand and leaning forward. Seeing her straddle my ride is enough to make me want to split for the day, go find a deserted road somewhere, and see if I can fuck her as she holds onto the bars.
I wrap an arm around the back of her neck and lean in to whisper in her ear, steadying myself with my hand covering hers on the grip. "You look good on it, babe."
She grins up at me, and I can't help but kiss her.
"Smile, kids," Rose shouts. We both turn in her direction, smiling as she snaps our picture.
When Pop walks our way, I expect him to bark at me that it's time to ditch the fender fluff and get my ass inside. But he surprises me when he smiles and speaks directly to Bella.
"Hey, hon."
"Oh, hey, Carl," Bella says, her eyes flashing to me. She looks as stunned as I feel.
It's no secret she isn't my father's biggest fan right now. His less than stellar behavior toward me recently has made her keep her distance from him. But judging by her reaction, it seems like she might be willing to get past it, even if it's just for my sake.
"How are you?"
"I'm good."
"Good," Pop says. "You still working over at the ice cream shop?"
"Yeah, I am." She shrugs. "It's not something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it's fun."
We fall into an awkward silence until Rose shouts our way. "You ready to go, B?"
Bella hops off my bike and throws herself into my arms, kissing me. "Don't be out too late." She smiles against my lips. "I'm counting on that ride."
Two days before Ali and Jazz get back from their honeymoon, Edward finally moves the last of his shit into his new place. It's a two-bedroom apartment, and it just so happens to be a block over from ours.
Even though it hasn't even been two weeks, things have shifted between us since our sister's wedding. The animosity I felt rolling off him seems to be gone, and it feels like we're finally moving past all the bullshit of the last couple years.
It's been nice to have my brother back.
As February rolls into March, being the club's bitch is put to use more and more frequently—making bullshit beer runs, playing housekeeper and cleaning the shitter at the clubhouse. Tank even sends me out to buy fucking dog food for him.
But tonight I'm rolling with them for an actual run. It's a relatively new run for the club, meeting with this García guy only a handful of times in the last few months.
Pop slaps a handgun into my palm and dangles a set of keys in front of me. "We'll lead, and you follow. Don't stop and don't do any shit that'll get you pulled over. When we get where we're going, keep your mouth shut. Got it?"
I nod in agreement. "Got it."
E slaps a hand on my shoulder as he walks past me before getting into the van beside me.
The pick-up goes smoothly. Money is handed over in exchange for crates that are loaded into the van, and the Riley dude we're buying from never glances my way. In no time at all, we're back on the road, riding along under the cover of darkness, and my senses stay on high alert.
Edward and I use the time to catch up. He tells me all about Seth learning to kick a ball and getting into more trouble than E can keep up. He tells me how Seth dropped the F bomb, mimicking what he heard E say, when Angela came to pick him up last week, and I tell him about the mods I want to make to the new bike. Time flies, and before I know it, we're pulling into an abandoned lot in the middle of fucking nowhere.
My brother and I get out of the van, and E directs me where to stand so I can keep an eye on what might come down the road. I take my position beside the van, the gun I was given gripped tightly in my sweaty hand. Meanwhile Pop, E, and the rest of the guys are moving the shipment of guns from the back into García's waiting vehicle.
Watching them move the crates, seeing García's armed men watch over the whole operation has me on edge. One wrong move, one step out of line, and it feels like someone with an itchy trigger finger will twitch and we'll all be dead. The whole thing has enough adrenaline running though my veins to keep me lit for a week.
"We're ready to roll out, kid," Pop says after he slams the van's rear doors closed. "You did good." He slaps a hand down on my shoulder and squeezes. "I thought for sure you'd piss your pants." He chuckles as he walks back toward his bike.
"You good?" E asks as he nears, his gaze skeptical.
"Yeah. Is it, uh …" I lick my lips and swallow. "Does it always feel like you snorted a line after making one of these runs?"
My brother chuckles and turns to walk away, talking over his shoulder, "You get used to it." He reaches the other side of the van and looks over the hood. "I suggest you find a way to burn off some of that energy before you go home."
My brain automatically goes straight into the gutter, thinking about all the ways I can burn off all this excess energy with Bella, and it's what keeps me focused as we drive back into town.
When we finally return to the clubhouse, Pop distributes the stack of cash to every patched member who was part of the deal, passing over my brother and me.
"What's that bullshit?" I ask E as he walks past me toward the kitchen area.
He pulls a beer from the fridge, cracking the top and bringing it to his lips. "You don't get a cut of the cash 'til you wear the colors, man. I've been helping with this run for months and I ain't seen a dime yet." His smile is teasing. "But I'll get mine in a few months. You have to wait almost an entire year."
Even though the clock is creeping toward two in the morning, I still feel wired, like I could run to the border and back.
"You okay, man?" E asks me.
"Yeah, but I think I'm gonna take off."
"Have a good night." With that he turns and walks away, looping an arm around the waist of one of the mice and pulling her into the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
When I get home, the apartment is dark, and Bella is sound asleep. Any considerate boyfriend would leave her alone. But I'm not exactly feeling considerate tonight. I'm vibrating with the need to have her. And I'm afraid if I don't do something with the energy still coursing through me, I won't be able to sleep for days.
I strip down and climb into bed, pulling her warm, pliant body to mine.
"Mase?" she mumbles, her arms tucked between us and her lips finding my bare chest.
"Yeah, babe." I palm her ass and bring her in tighter against me, not so subtly rubbing my cock against her belly. "You awake?"
"Hmm?"
My hand burns a path down her thigh, gripping behind her knee and pulling it over my hip, allowing me to grind against her panty-covered pussy. My lips find her neck, and when I feel her hips rock against mine, I know she's waking up.
Gently, I turn her to her back, settling between spread thighs. My hands hover over warm skin, sliding up her sides with every intention of removing her shirt. When my thumb brushes over a nipple, her eyes flutter open.
"Hey," I whisper, my stomach flipping when her sleepy smile meets mine.
"Hey." She cradles my face in her palms and brings me down for a kiss.
I pull her shirt over her head and push her panties down, and that antsy, anxious feeling creeps back in. As her sleep-warmed skin glides against mine, my body fucking trembles with the need to consume her, to fucking ravish her. But when I finally push into her, all that anxiety disappears.
Gone is the feeling, the need to plow into her, to overwhelm her. And the feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin is gone, too. Her gentle touch, her warm breath on my skin, they calm me and allow me to slow my pace, to move inside her with purpose and enjoy every fucking fantastic moment of it.
Silent except for our heavy breaths and Bella's whimpering moans, we move together, our fingers laced together over her head. And when we come together, as she tilts her head back to gasp and I squeeze my eyes shut and groan, the last ounce of tension leaves my body.
Out of breath but completely fucking sated, I roll to my back and pull her to me, unwilling to be an inch away from her.
"Love you," she whispers into the dark.
I kiss her forehead and squeeze her to my side. "Love you, too, babe."
The start of April means spring rains, which gives me a chance to waste some time at the shooting range, improving my aim. Bella comes along with me a few times, and wrapping my arms around her waist to help her aim is a fucking turn-on. It leads to quite a few good fucks once we get home.
But the deeper we get into April, the more our lives begin to shift.
Several mornings, Bella wakes up and has to run to the bathroom to puke. She's exhausted, and she's had to call off work a few times. But trying to convince her to go to the doctor is like pulling teeth. As each day passes, I get more worried.
"I'm sure it'll go away. It's probably just a bug," Bella insists, her head resting against my chest and her arms around my waist.
"I just hate seeing you like this." I kiss her temple and hold her closer.
She ignores my comment. "When will you be back?"
"Late. Probably after you go to bed."
"'Kay."
"Are you feeling any better since you woke up?"
She pulls away and turns back to the microwave, removing a mug of heated water. "I'm starting to. It's usually better by lunchtime. The ginger tea Rose suggested helps."
"I hate leaving, knowing you're not feeling good."
"I'll be fine."
I take a step closer and reach out to cup her cheek. "You're sure?"
Her face is flushed, and the rest of her skin is pale as she looks up at me. "I'm sure."
With a final kiss, I grab my slickback and keys and head for the door.
At the clubhouse, it's the usual shit. Everybody is kicked back and enjoying the evening after church.
My brother plops down beside me and slings an arm around my shoulder. "How's it goin', bro?"
I raise a brow as I look at him. His eyes are heavy-lidded, and his smile is lazy. "I'm good. But it looks like you've hit ... something tonight."
He tips his head in the direction of a tight blonde across the room. "That little lady had quite a few things to share." He chuckles at his own joke before shaking my shoulders. "Loosen up, bro. You not gettin' it at home or something?"
Now I know he's high. It's an unspoken rule that he never discusses Bella that way with me.
"You really want me to answer that?" I ask.
His grin falls, as if he's only now realizing what he asked me. But before he can get all melodramatic in his inebriated state, I change the subject.
"She's been sick the last couple of weeks."
He sits forward and blinks a few times. "What's wrong?"
"She's been puking almost every day, and she's pale as fuck, man. I'm trying to get her to go to the doctor, but she's been stubborn about it. Said something about her insurance not being good for much more than major shit."
"Maybe you should be there with her instead of hanging around here with a buncha guys with nothing better to do than drink and bullshit." His eyes meet mine, and for the first time in a while, I see how much he still cares for Bella. "You should be home taking care of her, man," he whispers.
His concern for my girl sends a familiar jolt of jealousy through me. But I push it away, because he's right; I shouldn't be here while Bella's home sick.
When I open the door of our apartment, I'm expecting to see all the lights out and a sleeping Bella. But what I'm met with instead is my girl sitting on the edge of the sofa, her arms wrapped around her middle and her head down.
"Hey," I say as I walk inside.
Her head pops up, and it looks like she's been crying. "Hey."
I toss my keys on the table before walking over to her. "What's wrong?" I crouch down in front of her and cup her cheeks. "You still feeling sick?"
She shakes her head and leans back a little, and it feels like she's trying to put some distance between us.
"Then what is it?"
She closes her eyes and swallows. "I figured out why I've been feeling so bad."
My stomach flips inside out, preparing for the worst. "What is it?"
Her eyes open, and she blinks back tears as she reaches past me for something on the coffee table. With a shaking hand, she places the white stick in mine. "I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant," she whispers. But for all the weight those words carry, she may as well have shouted them.
My eyes are focused on the tiny window with the plus sign. My mouth goes dry, and my stomach falls to my feet. "You're ..."
"Yeah."
Neither of us says anything for a long time, but I can't stop the flashes from invading my mind.
A little girl with Bella's smile and brown eyes.
Maybe a little boy with the same cocky grin his old man has.
The three of us ... a family of our own, something neither of us have really ever had.
It's a future I suddenly can't see myself not having. And I want it ... bad.
"Marry me," I sputter, surprising us both as I reach for Bella's hands.
"What?" she says, her eyes wide as she leans away from me. She's looking at me like I've lost my damn mind.
Maybe I have.
I fall to my knees and inch closer to her, my heart pounding. "Marry me. I know it's not something we've talked about, but I want us to get married. I want to give this kid a family. A mom and a dad—"
She shakes her head. "Mase, you'll still be its dad, even if we don't get—"
"But I want it, Bella. I love you, and I want you and my kid to have my name. I want to give him or her what I never had—a real family from the start. Tell me that isn't something you want."
She's quiet for a long time as she stares down at our joined hands, and I'm worried she's going to shoot me down before she really considers it. But her whispered reply gives me hope. "It is, but ..."
"But what? Give me one good reason why it's a bad idea."
Finally, she looks up at me, and there are tears in her eyes. "You want to marry me?"
"I do, Bella. I've always thought we'd get there someday, so why not now?" I reach for her, splaying my hand against the softness of her belly. My vision clouds, and my voice cracks as I smile at her. "I want this. I want you, and I want you to be my wife. I want to make a family with you. Please say you'll marry me."
Her gaze drops to our joined hands, and with every passing second she remains silent, my heart beats faster. It feels like my stomach is trying to climb up my damn throat while I wait for her answer.
I know I'm not worthy of her. I know a life with me isn't going to be easy. Her hesitation tells me she's probably thinking the same thing. But I can't help but feel selfish. I can't stop myself from praying she'll give me a chance ... give us a chance.
When she covers my hand with hers and looks up at me with a small smile, the smallest bit of hope seeps into my veins.
Her words are whispered, but they're the most beautiful I've ever heard. "Yeah, Masen, I'll marry you."
Relief floods through me, and I pull her into my arms, feeling for the first time that things might finally be going my way.
"We're gonna be so happy together, Bella. You'll see." I kiss the top of her head. "You'll see."
A/N: So, how are we feeling? Hopefully, we can all see Masen wasn't always an ass, even if he eventually turned into one. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
***PLEASE READ*** Okay, so RL is kicking my butt, guys. I'm going to have to make a change to my posting schedule. Starting next week, I'll only be updating one story (Clutch/Shift) every week on Tuesday, and alternate between the two. Hopefully, that makes sense. So, I'll be posting chapter 32 of Clutch on Tuesday next week, but won't be posting Shift next week. Chapter 18 of Shift will post on Tuesday, September 15th, and chapter 33 of Clutch will post the following Tuesday, September 22nd, and so on. I'm having trouble carving out time to write, not to mention the time it takes to work on edits and teasers and playlists ... the list goes on. Lol. Getting a kiddo to school every other day and helping the other with schoolwork is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated. Hopefully, I'll get back into a productive groove, but I need time to catch up. Thanks for being so understanding. Xoxo
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"See" you soon!
Be kind.
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Lots of love
~Sunshine