Chapter 18

Songs:

I Will Always Love You, Halestorm
Your Arms Feel Like Home, 3 Doors Down
Move Along, All American Rejects

*Link to YouTube playlist in chapter one.

April through October 2013

Bella

"I think you'll look absolutely beautiful," Rose assures me as she straightens the flowers in my hair.

"You don't think it's tacky to get married in an old bridesmaid's dress?" I look at my reflection in the mirror. The lavender is light, and the fabric is delicate, so it's perfect for a spring wedding, but it's not exactly wedding dress material. Even if I loved it the first time I tried it on, I never envisioned myself wearing it on my own big day.

"I think it's perfect." She gently grabs my shoulders and turns me to face her. "You look so pretty in it, and Masen is going to be absolutely speechless when he sees you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Bella, that boy is head over heels for you. He's so happy to be marrying you."

I nod and turn back to gathering my things. Masen told me to be ready to go early today so we could go apply for our marriage license first thing when the clerk's office opened. Other than that, I have no idea what the plan is.

"Do you know if Carl and Esme are going to be there?" I ask, not looking at her while I finish packing my overnight bag.

She sighs, and I don't have to see her face to know she's rolling her eyes. "No, they won't. Esme pitched a fit about half of her mechanics being gone for the day. She convinced Carl he needed to stay behind. She was pissed you guys planned this for a weekday."

I nod but don't otherwise reply. I'm not at all disappointed they won't be there, but I feel a twinge of disappointment for my soon-to-be husband. Like every other milestone Carl's missed, I'm sure Mase will brush it off and act like it's not a big deal, though.

"And you don't think I'm silly for dressing up?" I ask nervously, changing the subject. "What if Mase decided to just to do this at the courthouse?" When she doesn't answer me, I turn around and see the mischievous look on her face. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You'll see," she says cryptically.

"You know what he's planning?"

She wraps an arm around my waist and whispers in my ear. "I helped him plan it."

I'm in the center seat of the McCartys' truck as Rose drives with a dressed-up Alice on my other side. Tank and Jazz are on their bikes, leading us down the road. Carmen, Mac, and Edward left with Masen earlier this morning. Before my fiancé left on his bike, he told me he was going "to get things ready" and all I had to do was show up.

It seems everyone is in on the big secret but me.

I knew we couldn't afford a big wedding. Renting a venue, hiring a caterer—all of that stuff is out of our price range. I told him we could just run down to the courthouse and have a civil ceremony and sign the license, but Masen wouldn't hear of it. He insisted we needed to do something, even if it couldn't be much. Trusting him implicitly, I told him I'd go along with anything he wanted to do, as long as we were married at the end of it.

I may have no idea where we're going, but with every mile we cross, the nervous butterflies in my stomach grow in size and number. When I start seeing signs for a familiar town I've always wanted to visit, I start to get excited.

"Really? We're getting married here?"

Rose smiles as she looks over at me. "I told you he had it all under control."

I look down at my dress and start to worry. "Am I overdressed? Is this too fancy for—"

Alice reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "Relax, B. It'll be fine."

"She's right," Rose says. "Everything will be perfect. You'll see."

When we pull into Tombstone, it's nearly deserted. It's still an hour or so before most of the businesses open, so the tourist crowd is rather small.

"Where do we need to go?" I ask, climbing out after Alice.

"The chamber of commerce, then we'll walk to the—" Rose stops herself and looks to Alice before meeting my gaze. "You need to apply for your license first."

"And then?" I ask.

Rose wraps her arm around my shoulders as we walk down the sidewalk. "And then we get you two kids married."

When we reach the Tombstone Chamber of Commerce, Masen is waiting for us at the door.

"My god, B." He takes my hand in his and cups my cheek, leaning down for a kiss. "You look beautiful."

I grin up at him, the butterflies in my stomach full-on swarming now. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Dressed in dark jeans, a light flannel shirt, and his cut, he's as handsome as always. But the twinkle in his eye as he looks down at me makes me blush.

"You two ready to get the show on the road?" Mac asks, squeezing Masen's shoulder.

"You ready, babe?" Mase asks me.

"I am."

The clerk is able to see us almost immediately after we walk in. Being a weekday, there's not a big crowd applying for marriage licenses. Twenty-five minutes and fifty dollars later, we have our license. I'm fully expecting to meet everyone else in another room in the building for the ceremony, but Masen leads me toward the door leading outside.

My steps falter, and I hesitate to follow him. "Where are we going?"

"We've got one more appointment." He jerks his head toward the door. "Come on."

As a group, we walk across the street, walking along the wood-plank sidewalk until we reach signs leading to something called the Rose Tree Museum. I'm confused at first, but Masen assures me to just go with it.

"Stay out here for a few so I can make sure everything is set up, okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, okay."

He kisses me quickly and disappears inside with Carmen, Alice, Jazz, and Tank.

"You ready to do this, sweets?" Rose asks, smoothing some flyaway hairs on my head.

I lick my lips and swallow, the nerves I thought I had under control coming back full force. "Yeah, I think so."

She raises a brow. "You think so? You better be sure about it before you walk in there."

I nod once, and as I do, I glance over Rose's shoulder and see Edward looking my way.

When he catches my eye, he takes a step toward us. "You think you can give us a minute, Rose?"

She looks over at him and back to me. "You okay with that?"

I smile and nod. "Yeah. It's fine. Just come get me when they're ready?"

She smiles and squeezes my hands. "Sure thing, kiddo."

Once she grabs her man, they go inside, leaving me alone with Edward.

"My brother's right. You look really pretty today."

With nothing in my hands, I start to fidget with the fabric of my dress. "Thanks."

"I heard what Rose said to you ... about being sure."

"I am sure. I'm just ..."

"You're nervous?"

I smile. "You could say that."

He takes a deep breath and blows it out. "Look, I'm probably the last person you'd expect to hear this from, but you two ... I can see how happy you make each other, how happy my brother is with you. For what it's worth, I'm happy for both of you."

I swallow the lump in my throat. As much as I love Masen, as deep as we are, our relationship has always been based on a solid friendship. The love I lost with Edward was on an entirely different level. It was the kind that leaves an everlasting mark on your heart, no matter how much time passes.

And while his blessing means more than he'll ever know, deep down inside it still hurts to know he and I lost our chance.

"Thank you," I say softly.

"And I know it's probably a little unconventional, but if you haven't asked anyone to give you away, I can—"

I shake my head as I stare down at the sidewalk. "I haven't. I'm not ... Mase and I are a team, and we need to do this, just the two of us." I smile and look up at him. "Besides, I'm not anyone's to give away, Edward."

He nods and smiles, but it looks so sad. "I had a feeling you might say that."

Rose chooses that moment to pop her head out and call for me. I turn to her and ask for a few more minutes.

"Just come in when you're ready," she says, disappearing back inside.

I turn back to Edward. "I want you to hear it from me before anyone else, but we're ..." I swallow past that ever-growing lump in my throat. "I'm pregnant."

"You're ..."

I nod, smiling at him through clouded vision. "Yeah."

"Wow," he murmurs.

"Yeah, wow."

His hand flies to his hair and he takes a half step back. "That would explain the hurry, I guess."

I'm quick to defend myself. "Look, I know it seems like we're rushing into this, but we want to make a real family."

"No, Bella, I get it. Believe me, I do. I think it's great. You and Mase ... you both deserve to be happy."

"Thank you," I say softly as I reach for his hand and squeeze, ignoring the hum that always passes between us. "Today wouldn't be the same without you here ... for Mase ... and for me."

His gaze is sharp and pierces straight through me. I can see how much he means it when he says, "I wouldn't miss it."

"I know how much your brother loves having you back in his life. He's going to need you soon, so thank you for being here for him."

He gently tugs me toward him and wraps me in a hug. "You're going to be a great mom," he rasps.

"Thanks." I close my eyes and allow us this moment.

When I pull away, I wipe under my eyes and laugh. "Alice is going to be pissed if I mess up my makeup."

"You still look beautiful."

"Thanks."

"Now, are you ready to go make an honest man out of my brother?"

"Yeah, I am."

Once inside, Alice and Rose fuss over me, making final touches to my makeup and hair. Alice hands me a small bouquet, and Mac holds the door for all of us. I'm the last one to step outside to the courtyard, and when I do, I'm spellbound.

The world's largest rose bush is more impressive than I ever imagined, and it's in full bloom. It spans the full width of the open-air courtyard, its heavy vines supported by posts and an intricate weave of lattice. Clusters and waves of tiny white blooms cascade over the edges of the supports, and Masen is standing at the edge, a brilliant smile on his face.

I take a few steps toward him, and he takes my hand. "You ready to become Mrs. Cullen?"

After the ceremony, we spend a good part of the day walking the town. Our first stop is a small bakery cafe where we order a cake to be sent over to the hotel for our lunch.

"I know we couldn't have a big wedding, but I want to do the whole thing, Bella," Masen insists as we wait to pay for the small confection. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close, his nose brushing mine as he whispers. "I want to dance with you today and cut the cake. I want today to be as memorable as we can make it."

"It already is," I say just before his lips touch mine.

We get all kinds of odd looks as we walk through town, with me wearing a fancy lavender dress and Masen and his brothers in their cuts, but I can't be bothered by it. I've never been so happy.

We visit the OK Corral and stop at all the little museums and gift shops along the way. Rose is never far away, snapping pictures to capture the memories. Every time I reach for something to look at it, the thin gold band on my finger catches my eye and I smile. The one on Masen's finger is even more distracting. It may not match mine, but it's absolutely perfect for him. Thinner and less ornate than the other rings he wears, it still looks like it belongs on his hand alongside the others. It's silver, and a skull flanked by a pair of wings is carved into the center.

Our modest "reception" consists of a late lunch at the T. Miller's Tombstone Mercantile and Hotel with our favorite people. The guys pull apart the tables to give us a small square of the floor for a dance as some country song I don't know plays in the background, much to everyone's amusement. We cut into the cake we ordered, and I'm sure to smear a good bit of the icing on my husband's cheek. He gets me back by kissing my cheek with his buttercream-covered lips.

Everyone says goodbye once the cake is gone, all of them giving us well wishes and leaving us with small gifts. As I hug Rose and thank her for all her help, I can't help but notice Edward pulling Masen aside to speak to him.

"They're okay," Rose assures me.

"You think so?"

"I'm sure of it." She smiles, and it reaches her eyes. "He's really, genuinely happy for you guys. And I know it's got to be awkward for—"

"It's not, I just—"

"He's okay, B. Just ... I'm sure there are things he needs to say to his little brother." She looks down between us and raises a brow as her eyes meet mine. "I'd say it won't be too long before Mase is going to need some brotherly advice."

"How did you—"

"Really, B? You've been sick every day for the last two weeks, and then you call me two days ago to tell me you two are getting married." She hugs me one last time and whispers in my ear, "I'm happy for you, no matter how you got here, okay?"

I squeeze her tighter. "Thank you, Rose."

That evening, as Masen carries me over the threshold and kisses me silly before dropping to his knees to talk to the little one growing inside me, I know I've made the right decision.

I run my fingers through his hair as he stares up at me. "I love you, Masen," I say softly.

"I love you, too, babe." He gets to his feet and wraps his arms around me. "And I'm gonna spend the rest of my life showing you." His warm hand moves to rest low on my belly. "Both of you."

"I'm not happy with the numbers I'm seeing, Bella," Doctor Daniels says as she looks through my chart. "Especially this early." She looks up from my file. "Are you still working?"

I nod, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where my little man is nudging against my hand. "Yeah, five days a week."

"And it's not a desk job, right? You're on your feet all day?"

I don't like where the conversation is going, so I take a deep breath to try and calm myself. "It's an ice cream shop, so I don't get many opportunities to sit."

"We'll give it a few more weeks. I want you to monitor your blood pressure at least twice a day and write it down. If I don't see an improvement the next time I see you, we're going to have to talk about you taking some time off, or at the very least, going to part-time. And how is the nausea?" she asks as she helps me lie me back on the exam table.

"The same. I'm still sick in the morning and half the day. But I can usually keep down my dinner."

"That's good. And your energy? You're more than halfway through your second trimester, so you should have gotten over the initial fatigue most new moms feel."

"No, I'm still pretty zapped."

"It could be a result of you not being able to keep much down, so you're not getting enough fuel from what you're eating. It's a lot of work to grow a whole new person," she says with a smile. The tape measure clicks as she pulls the tape from the spool and lays it over my tiny bump. "You're still measuring a little on the small side." She grabs the Doppler from her pocket and puts a dab of gel on the wand before bringing it to my belly.

We both listen to the whooshing and thumping as my son rolls around inside me. Dr. Daniels smiles. "He's quite active today." The unmistakable galloping of his heart flows through the small speaker, and I watch as she counts the beats against the ticking clock on the wall. "One forty today." She reaches for a paper towel and wipes my belly before offering me a hand to help me sit up. "Everything is good, but I'd still like to see you putting on some more weight. You should be up by nearly fifteen pounds by now, and you've only gained eight."

"I've just been so sick. I can't keep much down."

"Then make every bite count. Go for nutrient rich foods so you get more bang for your buck. Maybe try some supplemental shakes like Ensure or Boost if you feel like you can't get enough calories when you can eat. And like I said, we need to keep an eye on your blood pressure."

Leaving her office with a to-do list that feels a mile long, I already feel defeated. On my way to work, I take a quick detour, stopping by the shop to see my husband, just for a pick me up.

He happens to be on a smoke break when I pull into the lot, and as soon as he spots me, he flicks away his cigarette and starts walking my way, a bright smile on his face.

"Hey, beautiful." He opens my car door and helps me out, bringing me in for a kiss. "What did the doc say? How's our little guy?"

"Fine. His heart rate was good, but she said I'm still measuring on the small side."

"Isn't that a good thing? You were worried about gaining too much weight."

I shake my head. "No, I haven't even gained what I should have yet. Like, barely half. She wants me to add those nutrition shakes to my diet."

"Okay, we can do that. What else did she say?"

I look down at his grease-stained shirt. "She's worried about my blood pressure, too. Says I need to try and stay off my feet as much as I can."

"How are you going to—"

"I'm going to ask Mrs. Clearwater for a stool or something so I can at least sit between customers."

"And if that doesn't help?"

I look up at him then, his eyes blazing with concern. "Then we figure out something else."

The September morning that begins my twenty-seventh week of pregnancy happens to be my twentieth birthday, and it starts like any other morning. I open the Big Dipper at ten alongside Mrs. Clearwater and serve my first customer by ten-fifteen.

Masen sends me texts through the day, checking on me and reminding me we have plans tonight. He also reminds me not to wear myself out before we can properly celebrate my birthday. When I feel a headache coming on, I'm worried I may not make it to dinner.

When we have a slow period, Mrs. Clearwater suggests we go through the weekly checklist and inventory check. I follow her through the shop with my handy clipboard as we check off things from the list, and even though my headache is worsening, I still write down everything she says we're close to being out of.

When the bell over the door sounds, she dismisses me to take care of the customer before she disappears into the stock room to check on something. I spin on my heel, placing my clipboard on a nearby box and walking toward the counter. I blink several times when spots start to cloud my vision, and I reach out to steady myself. But before I can look up to greet whomever just walked in, several things happen at once. I can swear I hear Masen call out for me, and the ground comes up to meet me before everything goes black.

The beeping of an alarm is the first thing I hear. The next is muffled voices and distant chatter. The sharp scent of rubbing alcohol and cleaning products also assaults my senses, and my eyes flutter open.

"Hey, baby," Masen rasps, reaching for my hand.

"Mase?"

"Yeah, babe. How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" I move to sit up, but I realize I'm hooked up to a fetal monitor. "What's wrong?" I ask in a panic. "Is the baby okay?"

"He's fine. But you aren't. Your blood pressure went through the roof and you passed out."

I settle back into the pillows and exhale. "I thought ..." I meet Masen's questioning gaze. "I wasn't feeling good. My head hurt, and I remember thinking I wouldn't feel like going to dinner tonight. And when I went back out to the floor, I thought I heard your voice, and then everything went black. I don't remember anything else."

He gets up from his seat and leans over me, kissing my forehead. "I'm gonna go find the doc so she can check you out and let us know what's going on. I'll be right back."

Dangerously high blood pressure keeps me in the hospital overnight. With rest and a dose of medication, they're able to get it to come down. And when I'm released the next day, it's with strict orders to stay off my feet and rest as much as possible. My inability to return to work is something neither of us is prepared to handle.

"Mase, with rent, your bike payment, and the hospital bills we're still paying from your accident, and now mine ... adding a baby on top of all that, we won't be able to keep up with just your paycheck." I rub a hand over my ever-growing belly and do my best not to cry.

He looks over the sheet where I've written out our budget and tried to make the numbers work. His hand moves to his hair and grips the roots, tugging in frustration. With what's been coming in the last month compared to what's going out, I know it's only a matter of time before we won't be able to make rent. And soon we'll have diapers to buy along with everything else.

His sad blue eyes meet mine, and I'd do anything to take the worry from them. "What can I do?" he asks. "I could ask Pop for a raise, but I don't think Esme would go for it. Do I get a second job? You did it for us last year. I can—"

"And when would I see you?" I grab his hand and pull it from his hair, placing it over where our son is moving inside me. "When would he see you? Mase, between your job and the time you spend with the club, if you added another job on top of it, not only would you never be home, you'd be exhausted. And besides, we have more bills than we had when I was delivering papers. We're still paying on your accident from last year. My visit to the ER, plus the bill we'll have after this little guy is born ..." My voice lowers to a whisper. "I don't see how we can keep up."

He nods, and I can see the moment he accepts defeat. He turns to me with tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry I can't take care of you, Bella."

So, the next day, with his tail tucked between his legs, he goes to his grandmother to ask if he can move his family into her trailer. When she agrees, I'm filled with both relief and dread.

Moving day is stressful, and Masen is constantly checking to make sure I'm feeling okay.

"I'm fine," I say to my husband as I direct Mac and Edward where to put the baby things we've collected. I look up at Mase as he comes up beside me, placing his hand on my belly.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," I say with a grin. "We're both perfectly fine." I grab his hand and place it on a foot or elbow that's pushing to try and escape. "See?"

He kisses me and grins. "Still, take a minute and get off your feet. Me and the guys got this."

Carmen steers clear of the trailer all day while we move in. It's for the best. I'm sure her bitching about our things overwhelming her small space would only make my blood pressure go up. By late afternoon, everything is moved in and I start unpacking, making sure to only unpack what we need right now.

"Gran has a storage shed out back we can put some of the extras in," Mase says from the doorway.

"Okay." I look around the small room, not used to being in such a confined space with walls so close. "You think we'll be okay here?" I ask, looking over at him.

He walks into the room and wraps me in a hug. "Gran has her room on the other end of the house. She works. She sleeps late on her days off. We even have our own bathroom." He shrugs. "I bet we hardly cross her path."

"I just wasn't picturing starting our family this way ... not in our own home."

He smiles down at me. "Home is what you make it, babe. And wherever you are is home for me."

A/N: So, some ups and downs for them. I hate to say it, but this was the calm before the storm. They've got a bumpy road ahead, but I think you all knew that. ;) I'd love to hear what you thought.

Many, many moons ago I was able to see the Worlds Largest Rosebush in Tombstone, AZ, and it's every bit as impressive as you might imagine. I'd love to make it out that way again someday. It's a beautiful part of the country.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it in either story, but I've posted outtakes for both Shift and Clutch as a separate story on my profile. If there's a scene you'd like to see from another POV, or maybe something I haven't explored that you'd like to see, let me know and I'll see if I can make it happen.

I'll probably be keeping the weekly, alternating updates for Clutch and Shift for a while. My bank of chapters is down to a couple for each story, so I'm hoping to catch up as things settle here. Thanks for being so understanding.

The best way to stay up to date with what I'm up to, check out my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. I'm a dozen or so members away from 800, and maaaaybe I can cook up something extra special if the group gets to that milestone. I'm also on Twitter at CSunshine1220.

"See" you next week!

Be kind.
Stay safe.
Stay well.

Lots of love
~Sunshine