Chapter 21
Songs:
Bent, Matchbox Twenty
Broken, Seether
Thick as Thieves, Shinedown
Forest Fire, Brighton
Trippin', Godsmack
Boy With the Blues, Oasis
*Link to YouTube playlist in chapter one.
Fall 2015 through Fall 2016
Masen
Fall 2015
"This is what they're offering." My rumpled-suit-wearing public defender slides the plea deal across the table.
I pick it up and scan through the legal jargon, but it doesn't make much sense to me. I place the papers on the table and lean back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. "In English, man."
He looks at me over his glasses and raises a brow. "Since it's your first offense, the prosecutor is willing to drop the felony down to a class one misdemeanor. You do six months, pay the fine, and you'll get probation for two years."
I pick up the papers again and stare at the empty line waiting for my signature. Six months away from my family—my son, my wife, my club—and all over some asshole who got in the middle of a fight that had nothing to do with him. But then I think about what could happen.
There's a very real possibility I could go away for years,not months.
"It's the best deal you're going to get and avoids a trial." He holds a pen out to me.
I snatch it from his grasp and sign on the line, sealing my fate.
"Masen Cullen, you're hereby sentenced to six months in the Pima County jail. Upon your release, you'll be required to report to your probation officer for a period of twenty-four months. Do you have any questions?"
"No, Your Honor."
Before I'm led out of the courtroom, Bella reaches across the short wall dividing us and wraps her arms around my neck.
"Mase, I—" She stifles a sob, and it's killing me not to be able to hold her. Pop reaches out to pull her back, but my brother stops him, giving me one last moment to be this close to my wife.
"It'll be okay, baby." I turn my head and bury my nose in her hair, taking a deep breath and filling my lungs with her scent before I'm wrenched away from her.
"Time to go," the bailiff says, yanking on my arm.
"I'll look out for her." My brother wraps an arm around her shoulders, turning her to sob against him. The way she's pressing her face into his chest makes my own tighten. I couldn't count how many nights I've heard her moan his name in her sleep, waking up a sweaty mess, and now he'll be "watching out for her."
I grit my teeth and smile, knowing there's not a damn thing I can do make sure he keeps his distance from Bella while I'm locked up.
"Thanks."
I spend my days collecting trash along state highways and my evenings doing push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups in my cell. Any other time, when we're called for meals or for showers, I have to watch my back. There are a couple Desert Kingsmen in here serving sentences, and our clubs have never been friendly.
All I'd have to do is look at one of them the wrong way and I'd get my ass shanked or, at the very least, get a beat down.
Having the club's colors inked on my back has made most everyone else keep their distance. But I still try to stay out of trouble and keep to myself. If I can get through this sentence without adding to it or getting myself cornered, I'll be happy.
I get two five-minute calls every week, and I usually use both of them to call my wife. Just hearing her voice, hearing Sam babbling in the background, reminds me that I'm doing this for the right reasons. There's no way I could've risked being sent away for longer than six months.
Bella sends a letter every week, too, to cover all the shit we don't have time to talk about when I call. She tells me what new words Sam is using, how he's starting to really communicate, and it tears me up inside. But what really slices through my heart are the pictures. I'm missing so much, and I feel like shit for it. The hardest to look at are from the small party they had for his second birthday.
Judging by the pictures, it wasn't much—just a small cake, a few balloons, and a couple wrapped presents—but it's a moment I can't get back. Bella's already promised me we'll have another party when I get home. She says Sam won't know the difference, but I'll know.
Two years into this father gig and I'm already fucking it up.
Bella tries to visit when she can, but she's working now, trying to keep us afloat while I'm here. She's out there working two part-time jobs and taking care of Sam, so I'm low on her list of priorities. There aren't many things more emasculating than knowing your wife is busting her ass to support your family when you can't.
"Cullen, you've got a visitor." The guard unlocks my cell and opens the door.
I place the envelope full of pictures of my son on my mattress and stand, and once I'm cuffed, I follow the guard down the hall. I don't get all that excited anymore; I can guess who's here to see me. And when I walk into the room with the wall of two-sided cubicles, I see my brother seated on the other side of the glass.
I pick up the receiver as I sit. "Hey."
"Hey, man. How's it goin?"
"Same shit, different day. How's the outside world?"
He grins. "Same shit, different day."
"I'm tellin' you, that's not a bad thing."
"No, I guess it's not. They treating you okay in here?"
"Oh yeah, they've been real accommodating," I say with a roll of my eyes. "So, tell me what's going on. You still looking for a new place?"
He bobs his head in a nod and smiles. "Yeah. I'm actually meeting with a realtor tomorrow to go see a couple houses."
"Houses? Damn, man. That's ... that's a big step."
He shrugs like it's not a big deal. "I'm ready. Seth is getting bigger and I think the two of us are outgrowing my apartment."
Jealousy is a funny thing. I'm happy for my brother, buying a house is a huge step, but I can't say I'm not envious. It'll be years before Bella and I will be able to even think about getting a place of our own, let alone buy a house. We're still paying off the debt from Sam's birth.
"I'm happy for you, E. Really."
"Thanks."
I lean back in my chair, waiting to see if he has any more to say other than bullshit.
And that's what most of it is—bullshit.
Talk about the shop, the club, and who's bickering over petty bullshit dominates the conversation. But when the subject switches to what it always does—Bella—I sit up in my chair and lean forward.
"How's she really doing?"
E rubs a hand over his forehead and sighs. "She's exhausted, man. I wish you'd let me—"
"Yeah, I'm sure you've got a list of shit you wish I'd let you do to my wife," I think to myself. I shake my head. "We'll be fine. We've always been fine on our own."
My brother's jaw tightens and his eyes narrow. "Don't be stubborn, Masen. You need to let your family help you guys. At least let Pop—"
I bark out a sardonic laugh. "That fucker can't even be bothered to come see me. He's been here twice, E." I lean closer to the glass and lower my voice to a growl. "I don't want a fucking dollar from him, you got me?"
"Mase, don't—"
I stand up and slam the receiver into the cradle, unceremoniously putting an end to our conversation.
"I put another twenty in your account."
"Good. I was running low on shampoo. Thank you."
"I had to pay for Sam's daycare this week. Twenty is all I could spare this month. You'll have to make it stretch."
"I'll make it work."
"Edward said you won't see him anymore. Why won't you see your brother? You know I can't get up there as much as I want to. You need to have visitors, Mase."
I shrug, even though she can't see it. "He got on my case the last time he was here." I roll my shoulders, suddenly irritated I'm spending my limited time talking to my wife about my brother.
"That was like ... two months ago. I just wish you'd—"
"Why the fuck are you talking about me with my brother?"
"It's not like that. He just mentioned it in passing. He's worried about you."
"In passing? Since when do you have any conversations with him in passing?"
She groans, and I can almost see her head thrown back in exasperation. "It's not like that. I was over at his new place with Ali while she helped him decide what color to paint Seth's room and it came up. You always come up. Your family loves you. We're not conspiring behind your back, Masen. Jesus."
I swallow down the jealousy I'm feeling, thinking of my wife and my brother spending any time together. Ever since he was here, asking to help out my wife, every time I close my eyes, I see them together. I know it's ridiculous. I know my brother wouldn't cross that line, but the thoughts still invade my brain.
"He just wants to be there for you."
"I miss you, baby," I murmur into the phone, desperately trying to change the subject. I'm curled around the phone to keep the fuckers waiting in line from hearing the words meant only for Bella.
"I miss you, too. But, Masen, don't—"
"I don't want to talk about my brother, Bella."
She sighs, but it's a sigh of defeat. "You're almost done," she finally says, her voice low. "Seven more weeks."
"Seven more weeks, then—" I close my eyes and try to stifle my groan just thinking of everything I'm going to do to my wife when I get sprung from this place. "I can't wait to get the fuck outta here."
"Mama."
"You wanna talk to Daddy, baby boy?" Bella coos. There's some rustling over the line as Bella presumably picks him up.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah. Here, say hello."
"Hewwo?"
I have to close my eyes and swallow hard when I hear him get excited at just hearing my voice. "Hey, Sammy." He's growing up so fast, and I'm missing so much.
But Bella was right, only seven more weeks and I'll be home.
Spring 2016
"Lookin good," Edward shouts as I walk out of county and into the sunshine.
I squint as I look down the path leading to the parking lot. I can't say I'm not disappointed it's my brother and not Bella here to drive me home. "Hey, man. I wasn't expecting to see your ugly mug."
"Sorry. B's asshole boss wouldn't give her the time off. She had to switch her shift to this morning, but she should be off by the time we get back into town." He opens his arms when I reach him, bringing me in for a hug. "Damn, Mase, what have they been feeding you in there? You packed on more muscle since I saw you last."
I squeeze him once more and slap a hand to his back before letting him go. "I spent the last six months working my ass off." When I look past him, I spot my ride. I look back at my brother, tossing a thumb over my shoulder. "Who rode this up here?"
"Jazz. A prospect followed us up to take his ass back home." He has my cut in his hand, holding it out to me. "Come on. Let's get the hell outta here."
The ride back home isn't as long as I want it to be. To feel the freedom of the open road after being away so long is a welcome sensation, and Edward must sense how much I need it because we end up taking the long way, winding through the desert for an hour before we turn toward town. Instead of going home, E leads me toward the clubhouse, where most of the club is waiting to welcome me back.
Everyone is gathered outside in the lot, smiles covering their faces, but the only person I care to see is waiting at the back of the group in the shade, our son grasped tightly in her arms. I circle the lot and back into a spot, cutting the engine.
The few guys who are here crowd around, welcoming me back, beers in hand and music pouring out through the clubhouse door.
"My boy!" Pop says, his hand slapping my back. "How's it feel to be home?"
I hardly pay any mind to my father, meeting Bella's eyes as she approaches. "I don't know yet."
"Come on, old man," E interrupts, tugging on Pop's elbow. "Let him say hello to his old lady and his kid." He looks my way and jerks his head toward the building. "Come on in when you're ready. We threw together a little welcome home party."
"Thanks."
When they finally disappear inside, Bella puts Sam on his feet, and he practically jumps into my arms.
"Hey, little man." I kiss the side of his head as he wraps his arms around my neck. "I missed you."
"Miss you, Daddy."
Bella timidly approaches, but I'm not having it. I reach for her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into my arms. My wife buries her face in my chest, and for the first time in six months I feel like I can breathe.
"I'm so happy you're home." Her words are muffled. She looks up, her eyes shining with unshed tears, but a smile plays on her lips. "I missed you."
I tilt her chin up. "I missed you too, baby." When I lean in for a kiss, it's a lot more heated than it should be for a parking lot reunion, especially with my kid in my arms. Thankfully, we're interrupted before I get too carried away.
"Yo, Mase!" Mac shouts from the doorway. "Get your ass in here."
I chuckle against my wife's temple. "Come on. Don't wanna miss my own party."
With an arm around the back of Bella's neck and my son in the other, we head inside. And as soon as we do, I can feel the tension in Bella's shoulders. Unlike the occasional family gatherings the club hosts, this is closer to a club function. The girls who know to stay away when old ladies and kids are around are here. They're serving drinks and keeping the guys entertained, but I know that the more alcohol that flows, the rowdier it'll get.
It doesn't take long for Bella's discomfort to become glaringly obvious. She's stuck to me like glue. Even when Rose shows up and tries to engage her in conversation, Bella can't seem to take her eagle eyes off the patch whores.
"You wanna go home?" I ask, brushing her hair off her shoulder and kissing her neck.
She looks up at me and smiles. "Not yet. I know you missed everyone."
"Babe, I missed you. These assholes'll be here tomorrow. We can go if—"
"Take a walk with me, kid," Pop says, interrupting us. "I've got something to show you."
I look down at Bella as she watches my old man walk toward the hallway. "You okay without me for a few minutes?"
Her eyes meet mine. "Yeah, I'll be fine." She bounces Sam on her hip. "Won't we, buddy?"
"She'll be fine, Mase," Rose assures me, snatching Sam out of his mother's arms. "Auntie Rosie thinks there's some cookies in the kitchen." She waltzes off with our son, and Bella moves to follow her.
"Hey," I say, grabbing her elbow. "Let me know when you're ready to go, okay?"
She nods and goes in search of Rose and Sam.
I find Pop down the hallway, standing outside one of the bedrooms. "What's up?"
He places a key in the lock and turns it, opening the door. Stepping inside, I see a full-sized bed on one side of the room and a bare dresser on the other. A few boxes line the far wall, but the room is otherwise empty.
"It's yours, Mase." He holds out the key to me and I take it. "For nights after a run when you'd rather sleep it off or if things pop off and we need to bring our families here, it's yours."
I look up, meeting my father's eyes. "Really?"
"You've earned it, kid. You served some time and didn't whine like a bitch about it. You took care of business and didn't get the club involved." He places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you, son." He slaps my shoulder and withdraws his hand. "And I think after all this we can sew an enforcer patch on your cut."
"Yeah?"
He nods. "Yeah. You've got one hell of a right hook. We've got a few jobs coming up that are going to need some muscle, and after seeing what you did to the jackass that pressed charges last time ... well, I was impressed, kid."
I bite the inside of my cheek to stop the smile from spreading over my face. It's been years since I've heard my old man tell me he had pride in anything I've done, and it feels damn good.
"Thanks."
His grin is wide but then it falls. "Look, I'm sorry I couldn't get up there to see you more than I did."
The key in my hand suddenly feels heavy. I want to bring up all the times he hasn't been there for me when I needed him and throw them in his face. But when I look up and see pride shining in his eyes, I push away my anger. The fact he only came to County to see me twice in six months feels irrelevant right now.
I swallow down all the words I want to say. "It's okay. I know shit comes up."
He slaps my on the shoulder again and his smile returns. "Good. I think we can both agree it's best to put all this behind us. Things are looking up, kid."
When I make it back out to the main room, Bella is sitting near the kitchen with Rose and Sam. She's pretending to ignore the rest of the guys as they paw at the girls.
"Hey." I kiss the top of her head. "You ready to go yet?"
She looks up and smiles. "No, I'm good. Enjoy your party."
For the rest of the evening, Bella feels a million miles away. I ask her a dozen times if she wants to go home, but every time, she says she's fine. I know she's not enjoying herself, though.
"Can you keep an eye on Sam?" Bella asks, perched on my lap. "I need to brave that mess you guys call a bathroom."
I grin up at her. "Yeah, I got it."
She pecks me on the lips and saunters off, swaying her hips as she goes.
"Daddy, look!" Sam ambles toward me with a model car in his hand.
"Whatcha got, kid?"
"Car. Poppa C give me."
He climbs into my lap and rambles on about the model in his hands, and I do my best to listen, but it's going to take a while for me to understand all his new words. I look over my shoulder to see if our translator is on her way back, and what I see makes my chest tighten.
E has her cornered right outside the bathroom, his hand on her arm and his head tilted down as he speaks to her. Bella shakes her head and gives a reply I wish I could hear. She finally pulls her arm from his grasp and walks back toward me.
She smiles as she sits beside us. "Miss me?"
I hesitate, wondering if it's worth bringing up her interaction with my brother. My eyes flash to Edward as he walks across the room toward the pool table, beer in hand, before they return to my wife. "All I've done for months is miss you."
Her responding smile lights her face. "I've missed you, too," she whispers, curling into my side.
I look across the room and meet my brother's eyes. Before I can decipher his expression, his attention moves to the mouse serving the next round.
The longer we're here, the more antsy I get. It's been nice to see everyone, to be welcomed back with open arms, but I'm ready to get the fuck home. When I feel like I've had enough, I say my goodbyes and usher my family out the door.
"You okay?" I ask as we walk to the car, Sam resting his head on my shoulder, and my free hand holding onto Bella's.
She smiles up at me. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seemed ... distant in there. Does it have anything to do with my brother cornering you?"
Her head pops up and her eyes widen. "What?"
"I saw you two in there chatting it up when you went to use the bathroom. What was up with that?"
She rolls her eyes. "He was just being the nosey ass he's been since you went to jail. He said he noticed I looked upset about something and wanted to know what it was." She looks up then. "Why? You don't think—"
I chuckle darkly. "I'm not sure what I think, actually."
She stops us and holds a hand to my cheek. "There's nothing going on, okay? He was just playing the same concerned brother routine he's been playing since last fall. That's it."
"Then why were you acting so weird tonight?"
She looks down and shakes her head. "I'm just distracted, I guess."
When we reach the Honda, I pull her into my free arm and brush the hair back from her face. "With what?"
Her smile looks forced, and I'd give anything to know what she's really thinking. "It's just been a long day."
When we're finally home, it's not exactly the picture-perfect homecoming I was expecting.
I'm not surprised, given the late hour. Sam is cranky. His crying and flailing only add to the tense atmosphere between Bella and me.
"Hey, bud," I say, bouncing him, "what's the matter?"
Bella swoops in and takes him from me. "It's way past his bedtime."
"Want me to put him down?"
She shakes her head. "No, I've got it." Her smile is kind of fucking sad when she looks up at me. "His routine is a little different than it was last year."
"Yeah, I get it." I kiss the top of Sam's head. "See you in the morning, bud."
When they disappear down the hallway, I'm left standing in the living room.
Gran is sitting at her perch at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette and watching the television like usual, and she doesn't even bother to get up to say hello when I walk through the door.
"It's nice to see you, too," I say, walking in her direction.
She sighs and snuffs her smoke out in the ashtray, offering me her cheek, which I reluctantly kiss. "You didn't really expect me to come down to the clubhouse. Besides the fact that I hate that place, I'm not in the habit of celebrating criminals."
"I wasn't expecting to see you there, but it might have been nice to see you when I got out." I motion to the lingering smoke rising from her ashes. "And what's up with that? I thought we both agreed to keep that shit outside."
She raises a brow. "The baby wasn't home. I didn't see the harm in it."
I cock a brow right back at her. "You know that shit lingers, Gran."
"Don't tell me what I know." She pushes away from the table and walks toward her room. "Welcome home," she shoots over her shoulder.
I rummage through the fridge for something to eat, but when I hear Sam's door click closed, my head snaps up.
"He's asleep," Bella murmurs, her cheeks pink, visible even in the dim light of the kitchen.
"Yeah?" I close the fridge and pull her into my arms. I kiss her once, twice, before grabbing her waist and lifting her over my shoulder.
She squeals as I walk us toward our room. I toss her on our bed, her giggles making me smile.
I yank my shirt over my head, tossing it into the dark recesses of our room before unbuckling my belt. "It's been a minute. The first time is gonna be quick."
"I can't believe you would—" Bella's strangled groan is followed by a fucking shoe flying across the bed, aimed straight at my head.
"Watch it!" I shout as I duck out of the way.
"How could you agree to that, Mase? You haven't been home for a month and you're already going on a—"
"We need the fucking money!"
Tears well in her eyes. "And I need you not to go back to jail."
"It's for the club, Bella. Even if we didn't need the money, it's what I signed up for."
"The club," she scoffs as she angrily swipes at her cheeks. "All for the fucking club. What about us? What about your family? Don't I get to go to bed every night and not have to wonder if you're going back to jail over some stupid bullshit run for the club?"
"I don't get to pick and choose the jobs, sweetheart." My grin is mocking, and my tone is biting. And for some reason, I can't help myself. "It's not a fucking gym membership. I don't just get to show up when I feel like it. It's not something I can walk away from, either."
Her tears stream down her cheeks, and I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. "What happens if you get arrested again, Mase? What happens to Sam and me?"
My shoulders fall, all of the fight leaving me. The last thing I want to do is make her cry. I walk to her side of the bed, pulling her stiff body close to mine. I tilt her chin so she meets my eyes. "Nothing's gonna happen. I'll be more careful from now on."
"You're on probation, Mase. If you get caught ..." She closes her eyes and swallows hard. "I can't keep us above water if you have to go back."
"I know, and I'm so sorry you had to carry that weight on your own. But that's why I need to get back out there. We need this, baby. There's no overtime at the shop. And you don't need to be working two jobs anymore. Sammy needs his mom. This is the only way for me to bring in extra money."
"But isn't there—"
"Stop," I say forcefully before lowering my voice. "Please stop. It'll be okay." I think about the bills piling up at home, about all the responsibilities that Bella had to carry while I was away, and I know I need to do what I can to get us through.
I close my eyes, wanting to reassure her, but I wonder if my words are more for me. "It'll be okay."
"Whoa." I hold up my red Solo cup as the swarm of short people buzz past me. I look up at my brother. "What did you put in that punch, man? Those kids are all wound up."
Edward rolls his eyes. "It's not the punch. Angela insisted on sugar-free everything." He leans in closer and lowers his voice. "It's his fucking birthday. Let the kid live a little."
I snicker and scan the room, my eyes falling on my wife as she chats with Angela. Sam is rummaging through Seth's haphazardly laid-out birthday presents.
"You and the new husband get along okay?" I ask my brother.
He shrugs. "Well enough. Ben's a nice guy. And he's good to my kid. Can't ask for more than that."
I look around at the nice house, the leather furniture and the enormous flat screen and high-end stereo. The neighborhood it's in is on the nicer end of town, too. My gaze falls to the guy who owns it all, dressed in chinos and a fucking polo shirt.
"What's he do again?"
"He works in computers or something. He works outta Tucson, that's all I know."
"Must be nice," I murmur as I bring my cup to my lips.
Pop walks up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. "Es and I are gonna take off in a few, but I need to see you at the clubhouse later."
"Church?"
He nods once. "Something like that. More private, though. Just you and me."
"I'll be there later."
"Good. Say ... seven?"
"You got it."
He looks up at E. "You have fun with your boy tonight."
My brother smiles. "I will. I think I'm gonna try taking him to the Warden Aquarium in Tucson tomorrow. Not sure if it'll hold his attention, but I figure it's worth a try."
I look down at my kid and think about the kind of shit we'll be able to do when he gets a little older. Visits to the zoo and aquariums, fairs and festivals. And as if he knows I'm thinking about him, Sam looks up at me and smiles.
"So, I'll see you later, Mase." With a final pat to my back, Pop heads out.
When Angela asks E to stick around and help clean up, I take it as our cue to leave.
"You ready to go?" I ask Bella, pulling her away from stuffing wrapping paper in a trash bag.
"I thought I'd stay and help clean up."
"You don't have to do that, Bella," Angela says, smiling in our direction as she walks toward us. "It meant a lot to me that you showed at all." She places a hand on Bella's arm. "It was really nice getting to talk to you today. I hope we can get the boys together to play sometime. They're cousins, after all."
Bella smiles, and it actually looks genuine. "I think they'd really like that."
Eventually, we're able to wrangle our son out the door and into the car. When I look in the rear view, Sam's already asleep.
"Little man's out like a light."
Bella looks over the seat and sighs. "I figured he'd crash after all the excitement." She turns in her seat to face forward. "But that means he probably won't sleep for me tonight."
"Speaking of tonight ..."
Her shoulders slump, like she knows what's coming. "You have to go out on a run?"
"I'm not sure yet. Pop asked me to swing by to talk to him."
She crosses her arms and stares out the window.
I tilt my head and chew on the inside of my lip. It won't do us any good to get into it in front of Sam, so I keep my mouth shut. I thrum a rhythmless beat on the steering wheel the rest of the way home.
Bella silently grabs her bag at her feet and goes inside while I get Sam out of his car seat.
"Have a good time?" Gran asks from her spot at the table.
"It was a five-year-old's birthday party, Gran." I exhale and try not to direct my frustration with my wife at my grandmother. "It was fine."
She rises from her seat and walks toward the sink. "She zipped through here like her ass was on fire."
"She's not too happy with me today."
She turns and raises a brow. "When is she ever happy with you these days?"
I ignore her rhetorical question and walk toward Sam's room. After slipping off his shoes and socks, I manage to get him down to his diaper and t-shirt without waking him and lay him in his bed. Almost instantly, he rolls over and sticks his thumb in his mouth. I smile and rub a hand over his back. "Love you, kiddo."
Sure he won't wake up anytime soon, I slip out of his room and go to ours. Bella's sitting cross-legged on the bed with a book open.
"You got plans tonight?" I ask, plopping down beside her.
"Oh yeah. Big plans. After cooking a one-star meal fit for my picky toddler, I thought I'd spend a glamorous night scrubbing the bathroom floor."
"That sounds ... fucking awful. Oof." I grab my stomach where my lovely wife just slammed me with her book.
"The one night we have together you have to run off and play bad boy." When she faces me, her eyes are already red, like she's been in here crying.
"You know I can't—"
"You know I took today off so we could go to that stupid party then spend the evening together. But no, your father asks you to come in, and you drop everything else."
"Look, I'm sorry, but—"
"But nothing. If you really cared about me, about your son, you'd tell your father to piss off."
"You know I can't do that."
"The only thing I know is that you're choosing to go tonight."
"Whatever it is, you know we need the money."
She chuckles bitterly. "We both know not every run is a paying job. The last few you went on were bullshit and you spent days away from home for nothing."
"It was—"
"I don't care what it was!" she shouts.
"Christ, would you let me fucking talk?"
Our shouting does what it usually does, and Sam's cries echo from the other room. The thump of his tiny feet hit the floor a moment later.
"Now look what you've done."
"Sure, babe. What I did. It's always me, isn't it?"
Bella stares at me for a moment before storming past me to get Sam, and I let her go.
Not feeling like sticking around to argue more, I grab my bike key and my cut and walk out the door.
The clubhouse is nearly empty. A few members are hanging out and shooting the shit while they play darts, and a few mice are the only other ones here. I take advantage of the low-key atmosphere and pour myself a drink, taking it and the bottle to my room.
Since Pop gave me the key a few months back, I've managed to make it a little more my own. Posters now cover the walls, and pictures line the top of the dresser. I never imagined when he handed me the key that I'd spend as much time here as I do, but with the way Bella and I have been fighting lately, I'm sleeping here a few nights a week.
She's pissed at me for spending so much time doing Pop's bidding, but she still doesn't seem to understand how much it means to me to finally be a valued member of the club. Even with E recently named VP, I feel like I'm playing my part, making my contribution as an enforcer.
But how do you explain to your wife you're one of the guys the club depends on when somebody needs a beatdown?
A knock on my door gets my attention. Opening it, I'm met with a pair of bright blue eyes.
"Hey," she says, "I'm Chelsea." She reaches out for me and places a hand on my chest. "You looked like you could use some company."
I look down at her hand then back up at her. She's young—maybe twenty-one, twenty-two—a little younger than a lot of the patch whores who come through here. She's all dolled up, her eyes lined in dark makeup and her lips painted a bright red.
It would be so easy to invite her in and forget the last few hours. I could forget the way Bella's looked at me lately. But as I catch sight of a picture in my periphery, a photo from our wedding day, I'm reminded of the promises I made her.
"Thanks, sweetheart, but I'm good."
"You sure?"
I smile and remove her hand from my chest. "I'm sure."
"Chelsea, you pestering my boy?" Pop shouts from down the hallway.
She turns to him and smiles. "Not if you're free."
I watch as she saunters up to my old man, whispering something into his ear before giggling and walking away. Pop's eyes don't leave her ass until she turns the corner, disappearing back into the main room.
"You ready for me, or do you need to go take care of that?" I ask, pointing down the hallway.
He laughs. "I'm good. Come on." He jerks his head toward the chapel.
Once inside, he closes the door. "I'm gonna need you to make the run with Tracker and Hawk tonight."
"I can do that. What are we talking about? Another job for your favorite enforcer?"
He grins. "Yeah. They're gonna need some muscle." He gets closer and lowers his voice. "It's a contact of the Kingsmen who keeps popping up around here, trying to peddle their shit. And I'm gonna need you to make sure this one isn't found."
I nod, but my gut clenches. It's been a while since someone died at my hands, and the first time it wasn't a job. It was something that just got out of hand. A run for García gone bad.
That was the night Bella found me smearing someone else's blood all over our bathroom. That night, I had no answers for her. I didn't even know what I'd gotten myself into. I couldn't deal with what I'd done, let alone explain it to her. That night, she wanted to help me, she begged me to talk to her, but I pushed her away and clung to my son.
This time will be different.
This time I'm going out on a run knowing what I'm being sent to do, and Bella won't be there to help me deal with the aftermath.
And later that night, when I watch the light leave the guy's eyes, another piece of me dies right along with him.
A/N: This boy broke my heart as I was writing the final chapters.
Due to an overwhelming majority vote in my Facebook group, I'll be posting the final chapter of Shift next week instead of a Clutch chapter. Let's just rip the Band-aid off, shall we?
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"See" you next week!
Be kind.
Stay safe.
Stay well.
Lots of love
~Sunshine