AN: THIS CHAPTER GETS DARK! Please note that this chapter involved Sirius reading Remus' book. It gets graphic and dark and if you don't want those images in your brain I understand.

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Spoiler for this chapter for those who would like to skip it:

Recap of this chapter is that Sirius finds out that Remus had it rough when he was kidnapped. Remus doesn't hear back from Sirius after he collapses from exhaustion and stress.
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Sirius hated reading. He had rushed back to the apartment to grab the book Remus had offered him. Sirius had thought that because it was about his favorite subject, Remus, he would be more engaged in the material. That only made it worse. The first paragraph of the book started:

I was once was a boy who believed in fairy tales about princes, princesses, and happily ever after. I still believe in fairy tales, but only the vampires, witches, and werewolves now. I believe because I've met them. Stared one in the eye as he tore apart a happily ever after.

Sirius wanted to drive to Remus in that moment. He wanted to hold him all night with just the first paragraph. Sirius felt trapped in a paradox he wanted to read for the first time in a long time because it was a portal into a closed off man, he also never wanted to read ever again. In the early hours of the morning, Sirius realized that reading these words weren't going to change the past, but they would help Sirius sympathize. Sirius read faster than he ever had. Earmarking pages that could explain Remus a bit more.

The last of the passages made Sirius sick. The story was almost unbelievable. Sirius almost couldn't picture it happening. Almost. The book explained:

After several failed attempts at ransom, I began to wonder if the man would let me go. A fifteen-year-old boy was not worth much. My parents hadn't even been that wealthy. The man had finally lost it. He pinned me on the ground and attempted to cut my ear off with a pair of scissors. The scissors were only able to cut of the bottom half of the ear, but this seemed to satisfy the man. He threw the piece of me into an envelope and told me to address it to my parents.

I had to rewrite the address several times as the blood from my fresh wound kept soaking each new envelope. After hours of waiting for it to slow enough to not ruin the paper, and the address being able to be read clearly, the man left.

He never returned after that night. It was about a week after that the police were able to track down his address from the mailing he had sent. The police found a boy in the basement that night. It wasn't the boy who went in, but I am the boy who made it out alive.

Sirius rushed to the bathroom. He threw up several times. Sirius hadn't slept and it was nearly noon. The expulsion of what little he had in his stomach and the toll staying up had put on him. Sirius passed out on the bathroom floor sobbing. His heart was burning inside him and Sirius couldn't put in out.

Lily and Remus were sharing breakfast. Both were silent and staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. Luckily, Lily didn't have to work so she was able to stay with Remus. Remus told Lily as soon as she got home that he had given Sirius a copy of the book. Lily knew what that meant to Remus.

So, they waited. They ate in silence, watched movies that neither were too invested in, and cleaned the house at a lazy pace. When dinner rolled by and they had heard from neither James nor Sirius, Remus knew what that meant. Sirius had decided that he couldn't handle that baggage.

It had happened before. One man that Remus had gotten involved with had dated Remus for over a year. When Remus offered him the book, the man returned it stating that just the first half was enough to know he didn't want a future with Remus.

Lily brushed Remus' hair and ran her fingers over his scars until he fell asleep in her arms. She whispered reassurances that she would always be there. She also believed that Sirius would come back to Remus. That Sirius wasn't one to run away this easy.

He dreamt of Sirius. Visions of Sirius in a cottage that looked a lot like Lily's vacation home from their youth. Sirius was holding a little boy with large glasses strapped to his head to keep them on. Sirius was singing a song softly, but off key. The small boy slung over his shoulder would appear asleep until Sirius would try and set him down. The boy would jump awake and beg for another song, Sirius would always comply.

As Sirius was finally able to put the boy to bed, Remus woke up. Lily was on her side asleep still. Remus checked his phone and still had no messages. So much for soulmates.