Thump, thump.
Her heart pounded in her ears. Everything felt heavy. She couldn't even force her eyes to open. Drops of rain fell upon her, so cold and unrelenting.
Thump, thump.
And there was pain. Everything hurt. Her head was pounding and felt like it had been split right open. What was that ringing sound? The ground beneath her felt so hard and unforgiving. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach and an intense pressure in her pelvis.
Thump, thump.
She knew something was wrong; there was something she ought to be worried about, but she couldn't remember. How had she come to be here? She could not say. She wasn't entirely sure where "here" was.
Thump, thump.
Another wave of stomach pain washed over her and she heard a cry. It took her a moment to realise it was she who had made the sound.
Thump, thump.
She became aware of another sound now: footsteps rushing towards her, then a voice:
"'Ponine!"
She knew that voice. That voice meant safety.
"Oh god, 'Ponine... Can you hear me, 'Ponine? Jehan, Azelma, she's over here!"
Then there were more footsteps and another cry of, "'Ponine! No, no, no, no... Is she alive?" Éponine recognised her sister's voice.
"She's breathing," said Marius. "We need to bring her somewhere safe."
She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"'Ponine, I'm going to pick you up now," Marius told her. "We're going to get you help."
Éponine heard herself groan. Moving did not sound like a great idea. When he tried to lift her, she cried out in pain.
"It's all right," he murmured. "I've got you."
"The Hôpital Necker is maybe a ten minute walk from here," said Jehan.
Éponine finally forced her eyes open just as they began to walk. It was dark out now and not a single star was visible with the rain pouring down as it was. She gave another faint cry as the pain in her stomach returned.
"I'm here, 'Ponine," said Azelma, taking her hand. "It's going to be okay."
And then all went black once more.
When Éponine next awoke, she found she was in an unfamiliar room with a cross on the wall and several other religious ornaments on a wooden shelf. Azelma was seated in a chair next to the bed in which Éponine lay. She had fallen asleep and Éponine vaguely wondered how long it had been since she'd been found. She tried to sit up and cried out at the ensuing pain. All right, she thought, clenching her teeth. My ribs are definitely broken.
"'Ponine?" asked Azelma, who had awoke upon hearing her sister's cry. She took hold of Éponine's hand. "Oh, thank god you're awake! They weren't sure if... But you're going to be okay now. Oh, 'Ponine... what happened?"
"I ran into father in an alleyway," replied Éponine bluntly. "He was angry because I stopped him from robbing the lark's house."
"I'll kill him," spat Azelma, her eyes filled with a cold fury. "I will end him for this."
"No, I—" and she gave another cry of pain as she felt that same pressure build in her pelvis.
"Squeeze my hand, if you need to," Azelma told her. "'Ponine, the matron said you're going to have the baby today."
Éponine's eyes widened. "I-I... I'm not ready..."
"It's going to be okay," Azelma assured her. "The matron is going to take good care of you and I'll be right here the whole time."
Éponine closed her eyes and was silent for several moments, lost in thought. The baby was coming and she had no idea what she was supposed to do. She didn't know how to be a mother and it wasn't like she could follow any examples; her own mother hadn't exactly been the best role model. She also had no idea how she was supposed to afford a child. Sure, Jehan had offered to help, but she could hardly mooch off of him forever. She wished she had more time to plan. And then... what was she supposed to name the babe? She hadn't really thought about it, not in depth. She had toyed with names occasionally, but had never seriously considered any of the ideas that had come to mind. Of course, first she had to get through childbirth. Not all women survived and that frightened her. What would happen to the child if she died? Who would take care of it? Azelma would surely try, but she was only 14 and much too young to handle it on her own. Was this matron Azelma spoke of equipped to handle a birth? And then... what if it was a stillbirth? What if her father had robbed the child of the chance to live altogether?
Éponine finally opened her eyes. "Where are we?" she asked Azelma.
"We're at the Abbaye aux Bois. It was nearby. We wanted to take you to the Hôpital Necker, but this was closer and the Matron saw us as we approached and brought us in. Marius carried you here. Jehan and I had been searching for a couple hours and we ran into him. He told us what had happened at Cosette's house."
"Where are they?" Éponine asked, looking around as though she thought she had merely overlooked them.
"They weren't allowed to stay," replied Azelma. "The sisters sent them away. 'Ponine, there's... there's something else."
"What is it?"
"I know you haven't been going to the meetings, but... but you know how Jehan mentioned the death of that general?"
"Lamarque?"
"Yes, him," said Azelma, biting her lip. "His... His funeral is tomorrow and they're planning on using it to mount their insurrection."
All colour drained from Éponine's face. "Tomorrow? The... The revolution is tomorrow?"
Azelma nodded grimly.
"The fools..." said Éponine softly. "The people aren't ready... They're going to be slaughtered."
"Éponine," said Azelma, her tone placating, "Marius is planning on fighting. He... When we were looking for you, we went to see Cosette. Marius wondered if maybe she'd seen or heard something, but... She was gone. In the hours since you two had left, she and her father completely moved house. And... And when we ran into Marius, he had just been to see his grandfather to get his blessing..."
Éponine opened and closed her mouth several times. That was it, then. She was going to have this baby... and Jehan and Marius and all the rest of them were going to get themselves killed. There was no hope.
Tears filled her eyes and she couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. She let them flow in rivulets down her cheeks and into her hair.
"Oh, 'Ponine..." murmured Azelma, gently brushing a stray piece of hair from her sister's forehead. "I'm so sorry... I promise I'll be here through it all, if that's any comfort. Besides, you don't know that they won't succeed. What if they win? Think of the world they could create."
Éponine merely shook her head. She didn't want to get her hopes up.
At that moment, an older woman entered the room, followed by a slightly younger woman.
"Ah, you're awake," said the older woman, whom Éponine took for the matron. "I am Matron Delisse, and this here is Madame Igraine Babineau. She's a midwife who agreed to assist me in getting you through childbirth. While you were asleep, I palpated your stomach and I fear the child is breech."
"The child is what?" asked Éponine blankly.
"Breech. The baby is upside-down from how it should be. We could try to flip the baby, but that might be too traumatic and it's rarely successful. You're likely in for a long birth."
"... Of course," said Éponine, laughing humourlessly. "Of course the baby is breech. Everything is wrong... Everything is so wrong..."
Azelma squeezed her hand. "Try to have faith, 'Ponine. Please don't give up."
"Faith," Éponine scoffed. "What good has faith ever done for me? It's time to accept reality, Azelma. Marius and Jehan are going to die; I could die; the baby might already be dead."
"You can't die," Azelma whispered, tears filling her eyes. "You can't leave me all alone."
Éponine's expression softened somewhat. "I'm not gonna try to die, but... but 'Zel, you need to know that it could happen."
"It won't," said Azelma firmly. "I forbid it."
Éponine tried to offer a halfhearted smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "We shall see."