Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
Some of this is Jake's POV of scenes from I Thought I Knew.
The Jacob/Mae chapters are occasionally very interconnected, other times… not. Sometimes you'll have to wait to see what lead up to something you read happening in the current chapter to fully appreciate the significance. Other times, you'll have to wait to see the impact an event has.
In New Moon, Stephenie Meyer says Paul is sixteen, same as Jake. I have Jake a year ahead, in his senior year, not junior year when this story starts, so the same is true for Paul. Makes it a little better considering Jake's sister, Rachel, who just graduated college is his imprint (even if she did graduate early). I don't like pairing a college grad with a junior… too icky. That's sort of why this story goes the way it does for Mae and Jake - so their relationship is less disturbing than it might otherwise be. It's also why she ages even faster than in the books.
This chapter has two theme songs - Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles and The Weight of Us by Sanders Boehlke.
PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(
Ch 2: Fate's Bitch, or How the Hits Just Keep on Coming - Jacob
September 2016
If someone had told him he'd ever end up marrying his imprint when it first happened, he'd have sucker punched him. No holds barred, hauled off and knocked the shit out of whoever said it. She'd been a baby. It just hadn't been like that. Not for them. Not then.
He convinced himself he imprinted because the wolves and veggie-vamps needed a better alliance, and she needed to be kept safe. It made sense given the events leading up to her birth and those during her first year of life. But when that was all over, he was able to walk away. That didn't happen with imprints. Not if there was some mystical tie forcing them to be together romantically. For him, walking away was proof they would never be like that. And he'd been so fucking glad of it.
Yet here he was, ten years later, after countless twists and turns in his life, happier than he'd ever been in his life. And all because that was exactly what he planned to do today - marry Renesmee Cullen. His Ness.
He'd have never dreamed this could be his life. Not back then.
Year 1 - 2006-2007
September
She was so innocent. Nothing had ever hurt her. Nothing had ever made her happy either. A blank slate. Just wait till she found out her dad took off before she'd even been born. Or that carrying her had nearly killed her mom.
What a way to come into the world…
And fate had decided to pair her with him? He was a reluctant teenage werewolf in love with her mom.
What the hell? What a fucking joke… Even better, it was one that wasn't even the least bit funny! How was he supposed to navigate the minefield?
He couldn't. It was that simple.
Which was why he was still there. In a house filled with his natural enemies. Of course it was. Even as blondie fed his imprint, and the warrior watched him calculatingly, he stayed.
Even as the girl that once held his heart, because oh, yeah… guess what… she suddenly didn't anymore - but yeah, even as her heart raced towards its last beat in a room upstairs, he stayed.
Fate's bitch. If only others could be so lucky.
Renesmee - Nessie, because what the hell had Bella been thinking with the ridiculous name - was his destiny. Even if it didn't make a lick of sense. Even if those trusting brown eyes stared at him as if he could never hurt her, as if he would always help the others protect her. And he knew they would - with his help. Always and forever.
His imprint was a fucking infant. Everything he'd ever believed about being a wolf disappeared. They'd all been wrong. Imprinting wasn't about finding a mate, or passing on the gene. It was about the pack as a whole. Nessie was glue, bonding the Cullens and wolves together for eternity - thanks to him.
The Cullens were strong. True, evil bloodsucking vampires wouldn't attack the packs so long as they had the Cullens' protection. The same held true in reverse. That's what this was. He'd imprinted to make sure the good vampires lived, and that his people had a future. After all, less than four hundred lived on the rez. They were such a small tribe. Easy to annihilate. But not if they possessed the protection of vampires. The protection of their enemies.
So his imprinting - the event that was supposed to bring him untold happiness like it had for Sam, Jared, hell, even Paul, ended up being about the tribe. Made sense considering he was supposed to become the next chief.
It all made sense.
It was about the tribe. Not him. He didn't get a happily ever after.
And yet… and yet he just hoped she'd be happy, and that she could at least have her own happily ever after someday.
September
"I imprinted," Jake said flatly, stepping through the door and seeing his dad in the kitchen.
Billy was futzing with the coffee maker. It'd stopped working before Jacob started patrolling the Cullens' place. Guess his dad hadn't been able to fix it. He'd have to take a look after he got some sleep. He needed it to recover. The blow Bella delivered still ached. She was definitely stronger. Stronger than him even.
"How?" Billy asked, dropping the screwdriver and spinning in his chair to look at Jacob dumbstruck. Guess Sam and the others didn't come by and tell him yet. He'd figured Paul at least would.
"I looked at her," Jacob said dryly.
"Jacob," Billy chided, giving his only son a hard look for the smart ass comment. "Last I heard you'd not left the Cullens' place -"
"Yeah. Bella's daughter. Renesmee - Nessie," Jacob explained a little bleakly. Why on Earth had Bella picked that god awful, mouthful of a name? And where did she get off thinking Nessie was a worse substitute. It fit. She was a cute little monster, after all. Jacob stood by his choice of nicknames.
"And?"
"And she's a baby. I mean she's perfect, but I can't help wishing I could be a little bit selfish," Jake said, shrugging and plopping tiredly into the chair at the kitchen table. It was the only one they had since Billy lived out of the one he used. But now that Rachel was living here again, they should probably get another, especially now that Jake was back under his dad's roof too. Maybe even two more. They couldn't seem to shake Paul - though without a place to sit, maybe he'd feel unwelcome enough to stay away more often. Particularly during mealtimes. Bi;;y could hardly afford to feed Jake, let alone two wolves.
"You never know. What's she like?" Billy prodded. Jake realized he wasn't just asking because it was Jake's imprint. Nessie was his best friend's granddaughter too.
"She's got a heartbeat. She's warm too - like me warm," Jacob said, a little surprised about that still. If anything, he'd expected her to be cool given who her father was. He figured Billy could do without hearing about the blood drinking and teeth. "Gifted. She can share her thoughts and emotions with pictures when she touches you."
"Sounds like she's pretty remarkable. Unique. But maybe not too different from you," Billy said, studying his son closely.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You said you want to be selfish, but imagine being her. She's surrounded by vampires, yet she isn't one herself," Billy said, waiting for Jacob to understand.
"You think it'll be hard for her, growing up like that," Jake said, contemplating what that would be like. Surrounded by the perfect Cullens. Moving every couple years. All of them paired off. Her biological father gone - though Jasper seemed pretty keen to take over.
"She'll probably be lonely. Your similarities may be a comfort - you're both of two worlds. Maybe fate has more in store for you," Billy said, displaying his wisdom, and part of the reason the tribe council all looked to him.
"I'm really tired of fate making huge decisions for me. Would it be so bad for me to live the life I want for myself?" Jacob asked, though it lacked heat.
"We don't always get the chance - even when we aren't wolves," Billy said, running his fingers over the wheels of his chair. It was a pointed reminder that Billy hadn't just lost the use of his legs unexpectedly. He'd also lost the love of his life, and ultimately one of his daughters since Rebecca was never likely to come home again - not even for her twin Rachel.
"Sorry, Dad," Jacob said, immediately contrite.
"I know you didn't mean anything by it," Billy assured, though he looked satisfied that his point had been made.
"I've really put you through it though," Jacob said. Realizing for the first time how difficult it must have been for Billy when Jacob took off. He hadn't been much better since returning either.
"There's a reason Rachel is my favorite right now," Billy said, completely serious.
"Sure, sure. I know you love having Paul around so much," Jacob joked. Rachel's homecoming wasn't entirely without its own issues and adjustments. Particularly since Rachel had already graduated from college and Paul was in Jake's grade - a senior in high school still.
January
They'd just gotten to Guatemala to search for answers about Nessie's accelerated growth a week earlier. He didn't actually expect any of the Cullens with him to remember his birthday, so when they did, he was unabashedly pleased.
Of course he hadn't known they remembered until that night.
Mae suddenly jumped on his back, covering his eyes with her tiny hands. If anyone else had tried that, he'd have thrown them off in an instant. However, since it was her, he just grinned and listened to the high, clear ringing of her laughter.
"What do you want more than anything?" she asked, whispering in his ear. He could hear her excitement in the tone of the question she posed.
"Answers," he replied immediately. It was true. He desired knowing she'd be safe and happy above all else.
"Hmph," she huffed, and he could picture her rolling her liquid brown eyes. "It's your birthday. I asked what you wanted for yourself - not what you wanted for me," she reprimanded, then pushed on his head a little, commanding, "walk straight forward."
He did without protest, listening as two engines came to a rumbling stop in the distance, the engines turning off a moment later. The area was silent but for those sounds of the motors. Most of the local animal life had been scared off by the heavy, growling noise.
"They're the same thing," he insisted, amused at the way she turned his head to steer him into taking a slight right.
"Well, that needs to stop. It's not right," Mae complained.
She was adorable with her insistence to look out for everyone around her and try to take care of them, when all they wanted to do was take care of her. She reminded him of the way Bella had always taken care of her parents and how he'd looked after Billy ever since the car accident that killed his mother and injured his dad's spine.
More engines rumbled in the distance, the purr a little rough and indicating they could do with a tune up. Probably an oil change too.
The knowledge that she was a natural nurturer, and likely always would be, kept him from protesting or arguing further. He'd not win, so what was the point?
"Probably four-wheeling. It looked like it'd be pretty fun," he said, answering her original question. The engine sounds had reminded him of the people they'd seen riding out of town the day before, heading off into the jungle.
"I knew it!" she cried, dropping her hands away, and hopping off his back to spin around happily.
Four blue ATVs, already a bit muddy, sat a ways off. Clearly, she'd intended to lead him closer, to where Bella and Jasper waited, already seated on two of the machines, but her excitement about guessing correctly had distracted her.
"You get one to yourself?" he asked, noticing there were four. He'd gone for a casual tone, but the look she gave him said he'd failed.
It wasn't her fault that he couldn't help but picture how Bella had been whenever they'd gone riding. Seven times out of ten they ended up at the hospital with her needing stitches - and that was after she got the hang of it. He didn't want to see Nessie hurt now. It mattered so much more to him that she never felt pain of any sort.
"I may not be as tough as Momma and Papa, but I'm not a puny human either. I could crash it into a tree - not that I would with my reflexes - and walk away without a scratch," she reminded him, taking his hand and practically dragging him forward. He had a feeling she was more excited about this than he was. "I'm durable. Sturdy."
"Jasper talked Bella into letting you then?" he asked dryly. Jazz was far more indulgent with her than Bella was, less prone to stifling her and forgetting she wasn't a normal human child.
"Pretty much," Mae agreed quickly. They were close enough that he could hear Bella and Jasper laughing at their exchange. "Good surprise then?"
"It's great," he said honestly.
"I bet I can beat you," she challenged, always ready to try and one up him.
"You can try," he taunted, eager to accept.
They rode for hours, tearing through the trees and splashing mud all over the place. The rush was intoxicating. At one point, they made their way to a coffee farm. Ness dared him to try the coffee beans, so he'd plucked a handful of the still green beans and tossed them back. Immediately, he'd gagged and spit them out, much to the others' amusement. In all, it was one of the most memorable and adventurous birthdays he'd ever had. There'd even been cake - and for once he'd not had to share it since no one else liked sweets.
March
Hell on top of hell. That was the story of his life. Jake watched his imprint growing uncontrollably. She'd aged from an infant to a teenager in six months. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
He'd failed her.
Even as they searched for answers to explain why she grew so quickly, and hope for how long she'd have faded. He'd truly failed. He couldn't find the answers they needed. And she wanted to give up.
The idea was so wrong. Antithesis to his very nature.
In this one thing, he could not give his imprint what she desired.
April
"Both packs have to fight," Jacob insisted. Sam had shown up a few minutes earlier saying his pack would not be involving themselves in another of the Cullens' fights. After the way things went down with Santiago in Guatemala, it was a given that the Volturi would retaliate. There would be a fight, and Jacob expected his brothers to participate.
"You're not in charge, Jacob. It's not your call," Sam said, trying to infuse his voice with the hardness of an alpha command. It didn't phase Jacob in the least. Especially not in human form. Never again would Sam have power over him.
"Is this payback for breaking away? Because I wouldn't follow you?" Jacob asked, incredulous that Sam was even considering sitting out of the fight.
They existed to fight vampires. Several very bad vamps were coming to their home, threatening good friends of theirs. Why the hell wouldn't they fight?
What did he think would happen if they let the Volturi come here and destroy the Cullens? It went against their natures to let bloodsuckers live. Or was that it? Sam was hoping they'd wipe each other out, and save his pack the trouble. He wouldn't attack the Cullens himself, not with the treaty, but he had no problem seeing them die. And here Jacob was thinking they'd moved past all this now that he wasn't the one leading the charge against them insisting they were enemies.
"It's about the danger you've brought to our doorstep - again. And all for Bella Swan," Sam said with so much condescension Jacob wondered how he hadn't choked on it.
"This isn't Bella's fault. I killed Santiago. They're coming here because of what I did," Jacob countered.
He had been the one to attack first. To protect Nessie. He'd lost his mind when he'd heard the guard threaten to take her. He'd never let that happen. Never.
"To protect her. She'll never love you. Even when Edward left her again, she chose another. She'll always choose another, and you'll always be begging for scraps from her. Endangering the tribe while you do it," Sam said, genuinely disgusted with Jacob. It took him a minute to realize Sam was still referring to Bella, and Jake's former feelings for her.
"I don't still have feelings for Bella. Not anymore. And last time I checked, we exist to fight vampires. Why does it matter why they're coming? We have a job to do regardless," Jake argued, annoyed to have his past used against him, and thrown in his face like this.
"One that you keep making harder. You broke our family, and set all of this in motion - damned the consequences. You're not fit to lead us. If you were, you'd have phased first and been alpha from the start, putting the pack first - not vampires," Sam accused, making Jacob think this really was about dominance. He was pissed Jacob hadn't gotten in line when told or come crawling back to him by now. "But we never come -"
The sound of Jake's phone ringing caused Sam to break off mid tirade, and kept Jacob from countering.
Irritated, Jacob grabbed the phone, practically growling when he grit out, "Hello?"
"Jake? Can you come over? It's urgent. I need to talk to you about Mae," Bella said, voice shaking. Seriously? Now? Could her timing be any worse?
"Yeah, be there in ten," he said, because what else could he say. It was about Nessie. He couldn't ignore his imprint if she needed him.
"Surprise, surprise," Sam mocked, grandly gesturing towards the door.
"I have to go. Bella needs me," he muttered, hating the look Sam was giving him. Like this was proof of everything he'd said thus far.
Bella needs me. How many more times would those words rule his life?
"Better run along then. I'll be here when you get back," Sam promised, though it sounded more like a threat. It pissed Jake off.
"Good. This conversation isn't over. Your pack will be fighting," Jacob hissed through gritted teeth, stomping out of the house before Sam said anything else.
The conversation with Bella didn't take long. Just long enough to find out he'd be leaving with Nessie in a few days so he could keep her safe while the others fought for him.
Awesome. Great. Now even his thoughts were sarcastic. That'd never happened to him before he met Bella. Now it seemed to be the norm.
Sam was right where he'd left him when he got back. Double great. He actually wished Sam had gotten tired of waiting and taken off. A temporary reprieve would have been nice. He was dreading the conversation they were about to have.
Triple great. Could his luck seriously be any worse? Billy was home now too. He did not want to have this fight in front of his dad. He'd caused the old man enough stress this year already.
Why could he not catch a fucking break? Just once would be nice. Just once would be wonderful, so he could prove that he wasn't the selfish, immature kid he'd been up to a few months ago, and demonstrate that he'd stopped doing things that unintentionally hurt others. Guess he'd have to keep waiting for that chance.
"Well?" Sam asked, giving him a once over. It grated on Jake's already frayed nerves.
Nothing for it then. Better to just rip off the bandaid and get this over with. "I'm taking Nessie out of the country before the fight starts."
Sam laughed, like this was exactly what he expected. For Bella to be selfish and put her daughter's safety above the rest of them. It actually was pretty spot on behavior for her, but he didn't blame her in the least. Nessie came first. That's why he'd agreed to take her.
"All the more reason my pack shouldn't fight. Not with you running away. She knows this is a lost cause."
"Wouldn't you do anything to protect Emily? Nessie is my imprint. I don't have a choice here," Jacob said, emotions strained to breaking. It'd been all he could do to keep it under control when talking to Bella. Her request and his acceptance was evidence that Sam's earlier argument had merit.
"Why do you think I'm here, Jacob? For Emily. For our future. The future of the pack. At least one of us has to put them first. We can't risk our entire species going extinct in a single fight!" Sam yelled angrily, fists clenching several times while he took deep, measured breaths to force an artificial clam over his person.
"I've already said I won't be there, so there's no chance of that," Jacob said, nauseous at the thought of being the only one left once all was said and done next week. He didn't want to think about every one of his brothers and sister dying like that.
"That's hardly a comfort. We both know you won't pass on the gene," Sam sneered.
"What's that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't I?" Jacob demanded. He'd not thought about having kids. Not yet at least, but it wasn't like he wouldn't someday get around to it.
"Renesmee is an abomination. A mule - sterile," Sam said coldly.
At once, Jacob began shaking. It was like those early days after he'd first shifted when all it took was for someone to look at him wrong and his skin would quiver, threatening to explode. Only this was so much worse. Icy rage turned his vision black, descending like curtains at a show's conclusion. Every instinct within him clamored for blood - Sam's blood.
"Sam!" Billy shouted, appalled. He wheeled forward, planting himself squarely between the two alphas.
"How dare you insult Nessie! Where do you get off even daring to speak her name?" Jake hissed through clenched teeth, seething. He didn't acknowledge his father's attempts to intercede. The nails of his balled fists cut so deep into his palms that he smelled the rusty scent of his spilled blood.
Sam would pay for insulting her like that. It was an unspoken rule that nothing was said against another's imprint. None of them had ever so much as considered thinking a negative thought about Emily's disfiguring scars. And now for Sam to say this? To call Nessie names like that...
"Don't get mad just because you aren't willing to face facts. She's part vampire. Surely you've realized you're incompatible. Or do you really believe she'll be able to carry a wolf without the genetics causing her to self-abort?" Sam demanded, crossing his arms indignantly.
Every ounce of Jacob's cold fury vanished. Melted in an instant to be replaced with revulsion. Sam thought Jacob intended to have children with Nessie? She was just Nessie… not… not… he couldn't even form the thought.
"I'm not having kids with Nessie. It isn't like that," Jake denied, shaking his head at the implication.
"Of course you'll try. You won't be able to resist - trust me, I know. Mules don't reproduce. And you won't be able to even think about having sex with anyone else, and I'm betting you're not planning on being a monk forever," Sam said wryly, clearly referencing his own struggle with Leah and Emily. "And even if you could sleep with another, there's no guarantee you could get her pregnant."
"No! I'm not having this discussion. Nessie is a child," Jacob spat, stomach rolling and clenching so painfully that acidic bile filled the back of his mouth, burning and gagging him.
"She won't be much longer. At this rate, in a few months she'll be old enough to have sex, and you'll start seeing her that way," Sam said anyways, watching Jacob closely. Was he trying to provoke him into a fight? It sure seemed that way.
More bile filled his mouth and he swallowed convulsively to keep from heaving all over his father. The bitter aftertaste cleared his thoughts, bringing them into crystal focus - like sunlight through a magnifying glass.
"Never!" Jake roared as soon as he was sure he wouldn't vomit.
"You're out of line, Sam," Billy said, harsh formality making Billy seem more imposing than he ordinarily did while confined to his chair.
"Then what was all of this for? The only reason they're here is because of Jake - his involvement with Bella drew them back, and his imprinting made them stay," Sam said defensively, trying to appeal to the older man.
Was that really what he thought? Was that how they all felt? He'd doomed them all because of his friendship with Bella. The one he'd clung to even when he shouldn't have. Even after they'd all begged him to let go and cut ties with her.
"No one would be at risk if not for Jake. If anyone gets hurt, it's his fault," Sam continued, looking back at Jacob to add, "It's on your head. Again and again you refused responsibility, refused to be a true alpha, yet you make decisions that lead to messes that others have to make sacrifices for. You're a selfish child making others risk their lives and families so you can have what never should have been yours - Bella, or an imitation of her, because of course you would settle for that. And now you've dragged Leah and Seth into it as well. They're in with the Cullens as deep as you, and it's your fault."
The blows just kept on coming. Raining down with unfailing accuracy, and precisely delivering bloody, damning bruises. He didn't know which accusation to address first. Finally, he selected the easiest, and said, "You've lost all right to make decisions about Leah, and who she chooses to spend her life with." Sam's teeth ground audibly together, and a muscle ticked in his jaw at the pointed reminder.
"I've said all I came to say. You want us there fighting, fine - but again, it's on you if someone gets hurt. I hope you're ready to live with the consequences - finally." Sam turned and stormed out. Jacob didn't try to stop him. Couldn't handle any more barbs launched his way. The wounds from those already inflicted cut deep - to the bone deep. He'd been flayed, whipped, drawn and quartered.
Shamefully, Jacob met his father's eyes, expecting accusations like those Sam had made or confirmation that what he'd said was the truth. Jacob had been undeniably selfish and immature in his dealings with Bella. Now it was coming back to bite him.
Instead, all he found was a deep well of sadness. That was so much worse.
"He's not right, son. About any of it," Billy said carefully, treading on thin ice, afraid to say the wrong thing and have it break so suddenly that he plunged into the deadly frozen water waiting beneath.
"Are you sure about that?" Jake asked hollowly, not really believing the platitudes.
"Yes," Billy said, reaching out to touch Jacob's arm. There was no comfort in the familiar gesture, Jake was beyond where the effects could travel.
"I've resisted becoming a true alpha at every turn. Even my pack is a way of resisting. Instead of stepping up, I ran," Jacob acknowledged.
"They chose to follow you. Willingly," Billy countered.
"She's Bella's daughter," Jacob reminded him, addressing the other serious accusation that Sam had made. "And if Sam thinks that I -" he broke off, disgusted. It took swallowing three times before he could force the words out, "How many others do too?"
"Don't let others ruin something precious. You know the truth," Billy insisted, gripping Jacob's wrist tightly now. He had a feeling it was already too late for that.
A knock at the door startled Billy, but Jacob was too numb to react. When had his life gotten so twisted and distorted. It was wrecked beyond recognition.
Charlie Swan left himself inside, toeing off his shoes and taking four steps before he halted, sensing he'd stumbled upon a private scene he wasn't supposed to be witnessing. He surveyed the scene more critically, setting a six pack of beer on the entryway table.
"This a bad time?" he asked slowly, looking between the father and son.
"No, come on in. Just in time for a cold one before -" Billy started, but the door being thrown open a second time stopped him short.
Paul stood in the open doorway, shaking with rage. He balled his fists then growled, "You're not fighting? What the hell, Jake?"
"What fight?" Charlie asked, adopting his professional cop persona, ready to help de escalate the situation.
"Paul, don't. I can't right now," Jacob begged wearily. He really couldn't handle anymore right now. There was only so much before he snapped and broke altogether.
"Don't? Don't! You expect me to risk my life fighting for the Cullens, and you aren't even going to be there," Paul repeated, incredulous. His shaking got worse, the worst Jake had seen it since before he imprinted. Since Rachel, nothing phased Paul. But somehow this was.
Charlie's face showed his confusion at hearing the Cullen's mentioned, but Paul was too worked up to notice his slip.
"I have to protect Nessie," Jacob said flatly, mouth filling with renewed bile even as he said her name. Wonderful. His imprint physically disgusted him. Jacob doubted that had ever been the case for any previous wolves.
"What about Rachel - your sister? Doesn't she matter to you at all?" Paul demanded, punching the wall just inside the door so hard his hand went through the drywall leaving a bloody streak behind.
"Out of line, Paul," Billy warned for the second time that night, though the first time to Paul. Charlie looked ready to arrest Paul for the outburst and destruction, but Billy's words stopped him. "Charlie, I think we need to call it a night, reschedule for another time. Looks like I have some family business to attend to," he added.
"Right," Charlie said hesitantly, still eyeing Paul suspiciously. "You sure you got this in hand?"
"She's pregnant," Paul blurted.
"Ahh. I see. I'll leave you to it," Charlie muttered, clearly uncomfortable. At least the announcement seemed to make him forget the mention of the Cullens.
Paul moved aside without comment so Charlie could exit. The sheriff barely even paused to grab his shoes before he was gone.
"But you haven't even graduated high school yet," Jacob said, stunned by the revelation. It was all he could think of. They were in the same grade at school, but Paul hadn't taken his exams early the way Jake had. He was still going to class with Embry and Quil and wouldn't finish for a few weeks yet.
Rachel was young for her class, and thanks to the summer classes she'd taken, had graduated early. She was still only twenty-one, and had just gotten a job teaching fourth grade at the Forks Elementary School starting this fall. Both of them were really young to be having a baby, and not really settled yet.
"And now I might never get a chance to meet my child," Paul said, face contorting with genuine fear. "So think about your niece or nephew when you're safely tucked away with your imprint and this goes down."
"Jacob," Billy said quietly, almost apologetically considering they'd not had a chance to finish their own conversation yet, then continued, "would you excuse us? I think Paul and I need to have a talk."
April
"Would you like to tell me what that was about in there?" Jasper asked, blocking Jacob from leaving. Charlie had just left, and Sue had made it perfectly clear that she expected Jake to follow her to help reveal more about the packs to her fiance.
"Not really," he muttered, not pretending to misunderstand him.
It'd been the first time he saw Nessie since his fight with Sam the day before. And he'd been unable to prevent his stomach from rolling at just the sight of her. The memory of what Sam had suggested would happen between them. She was still a child for fuck's sake!
"And yet you will if you plan to leave here," Jazz said menacingly. They may be friends, but no one fucked with his family. Jacob could respect him for that. For the way he constantly looked out for Bella and Nessie.
"Jazz -"
"We're friends, Jacob. Don't get me wrong, we are. But tonight you felt disgust when you looked at my daughter. Now you're going to tell me why," Jasper demanded, stepped into Jacob's space until the cold sting of his familiar southern scent burned his nose.
At least he had the decency to keep his voice low enough that no one else in the house could hear. And it wasn't like Edward hadn't read his mind earlier and heard everything anyways.
"Sam said…" he swallowed past the rage and nausea, then awkwardly continued, "he said… he implied I'd be with her soon. Like in a few months, soon. That -"
"That you'd be having sex with my daughter before she's fully grown? Trust me - you won't," Jasper stated, shocking Jacob when he actually relaxed at learning what the problem was.
"I know that! It's not like that, but -"
"I know it's not. I'd have killed you without a second's thought or hesitation if it were," Jasper declared, deadly serious, and Jacob didn't doubt for a second that he would have, treaty be damned.
"If he thinks that…" Jacob paused to swallow, then asked, "What do others think? Bella? Carlisle? Esme? My people?" Jacob asked, revealing his fears. He covered his face with his hands, scrubbing at it like that could possibly wash the stain of the foul words away.
"Sam is projecting his own issues about Leah and Emily. He had no right to do that, or to make you doubt the bond you have with Mae. It's innocent and beautiful - I've felt it," Jasper said, shaking his head and clasping Jake's shoulder.
"I can't stop thinking about it. I can't even look at her anymore," Jacob said, his hatred for Sam and the way he'd tainted the relationship he had with Nessie coming through.
"What else did he say? There's more to this," Jasper prodded, testing Jake's emotions and finding more complex feelings buried beneath this issue.
There was no point mentioning the Bella replacement shit. And he didn't see Nessie like that so it didn't matter. They'd never be together so that issue would eventually resolve itself.
"Basically? That I'm a shit chief that constantly lets his people down," Jacob confessed, adding, "and proven it by the fact I've agreed to run away with my child imprint instead of staying to defend my brothers and sister. I'm not even sticking around to defend the tribe - not that I'm backing out. I'll take Nessie, and I swear, Jazz, I'll keep her safe."
"I've never doubted that you would," he said calmly, watching Jacob closely. "Have you thought about taking a step back? You only just turned seventeen. You can't be expected to be a leader until you learn how. The best leaders are always those reluctant to step up, but do it anyways because they know they're needed. But you can't be needed, not properly at least, if you don't have the necessary knowledge and skill to help them."
He'd gotten into school - a good one at that. Maybe this was his chance to get out and grow up before taking on the various mantles people were asking him to accept.
"When this is over and we get back, I'll think about it," Jacob hedged. He didn't want to leave if Nessie would continue aging. Though he also couldn't deny the appeal of getting out. At least for a little while. Jasper was right, he did have a lot to learn still.
All he did was think about it in the days leading up to him running with Ness. Even more so once he learned that she wasn't the only hybrid. That she'd be fine. She was immortal. She'd survive and live a long, happy life.
Jacob wasn't needed to watch over her anymore. He could leave without regrets. Possibilities opened up before him.
May
"I'm blind today," Alice said mournfully. "What if he…"
They'd gotten a hotel room for the day, and he and Alice had cleared a place in the middle of the room for him to shift and watch the fight taking place back in Forks. Now Alice was fluttering about, fussing with everything. So this was what a nervous vampire looked like.
"Seth is strong. He'll be all right, Auntie Alice," Mae said, watching as Alice slid down the wall to sit curled up in a ball, arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Guess she'd run out of things to straighten or push further against the four beige walls.
If Alice hadn't told him herself that she'd fallen for Seth, this would have been enough to let him know. The vampire in love with the wolf. Who'd have ever guessed it was even possible?
"She's right," Jacob assured the dark-haired fortuneteller.
"But I won't know what's happening to him - everyone - and you can't even tell me when they engage us," she whispered, looking up at him with large golden eyes. They dominated her face, like a babydoll's. She was so tiny, and the uncertainty made her seem very young. Closer to Nessie's age.
Nessie sensed it too, and sunk down beside her Aunt's hunched form, wrapping her long, slender arms around Alice's narrow shoulders.
"I'll signal when it's starting, but I have a feeling you'll be able to tell," Jake promised, tugging his shirt off. "Keep her back."
"Jacob!" Mae protested, but Alice caught her hand.
"Sorry, sweets. But I could use the moral support anyway," Alice said, drawing Mae's attention. Her long curls whipped out when she turned her head, filling the room with her sweet scent. It had always reminded him of vanilla frosting and strawberry shortcake.
Jake took advantage of her distraction to remove his pants and phase.
Jake! You're with us, Seth thought happily. Little punk. He was far too excited for what was about to happen.
It was obvious they were getting anxious waiting. Their minds were tense. The stress building until it forced an almost slap-happy outlet as they waited.
Nope, I just want to see her a sec, Seth denied, having heard Jake's inner thoughts. Jake didn't need any further explanation. He looked at the little ball of obvious worry that Alice formed against the wall. She cares. Told you guys.
It could all be for her family, Quil fired back, giving him a hard time.
Sorry, but the punk's right. She admitted everything - plus I saw it, Jake thought, surprising himself by defending Seth.
Oh, yeah. We all saw the epic kiss. Again and again, Embry groaned, mentally slapping his face as he teased Seth.
And again - it's all he thinks about, Leah grumbled. Like I want to think about kissing the leech.
You're too busy thinking about kissing your own leech, Quil accused, jumping in with his own teasing.
Leah wants to kiss Edward, Embry supplied. As if Jacob didn't already know all about that. They'd had several long conversations about it when it was just the two of them phased.
Way to keep a secret, Leah hissed as Jacob revealed a little too much of the conversations they'd had.
He winced. It wasn't like he'd deliberately thought about it. But Embry's prompting had brought the details unintentionally to the forefront of his mind for the others to witness.
At least I'm kissing someone, Leah directed the thought at Embry, firing a shot at the overly innocent wolf. Or could be, she amended. Interesting. So Edward was on board then?
Hey! I kissed Jessica Stanley at Bella's graduation party last year, Embry thought defensively. The girl had thrown herself at Embry and laid one on him. But it'd ended before he had a chance to react. The girl was too busy trying to see how her ex had reacted to her brazen move.
Only because she was trying to make Mike Newton jealous, Quil volunteered, selling his friend out before Jacob could. It definitely hadn't counted as a real kiss.
Though Jacob was one to talk. At least they all knew better than to point fingers at him. Probably it was because Sam's accusations were still a little too fresh. The wounds he'd inflicted still seeped blood freely. There was a sense of unspoken agreement at his thoughts.
Better than nothing, Embry thought cockily, turning the attention away from Jake and towards Quil since he was the only one among them that still hadn't kissed anyone, and who knew when that would change.
Everyone in position? Jacob asked, redirecting the conversation.
Yep, been here for hours already. How's Alice? Seth asked, thoughts revolving around the dark-haired soothsayer. That's right - my pixie, he agreed in response to Jacob's thoughts. Oh geez. The kid was going to be a nightmare after this.
His thoughts were still distinctly smug over not getting razzed more about kissing since he now had her. Although Jacob had to admit it was sort of sweet how wistful Seth was in thinking that maybe he'd only ever kiss her.
But was the uninterrupted view Jacob had been providing really not enough of an answer? The girl hadn't moved an inch.
Worried about you. Don't be reckless today - any of you, Jacob finally clarified when Seth's thoughts still pressed him about Alice.
Aw, Jake, nice to know you care, Embry teased.
Anyone talk to the others? Jake asked, ignoring the jest. They all knew he cared, even if Sam implied otherwise.
No, but I know they're here too. Sam agreed to Jasper's plan, Quil thought, reassuring Jacob. He'd been worried Sam would back out without him there to enforce it.
He'd not dare. The Cullens would make him pay if he did, Leah thought, adding, not to mention what I would do to him.
That meant they were all going to be there. Jacob wondered if Jasper had given Sam a hard time to convince him to let the youngest wolves attend. It wasn't his favorite idea, but Jazz had the most experience with this sort of thing, an almost encyclopedic knowledge of battle strategies and a laser focus that he could instill in others to carry them out. Plus everything he'd argued was logical.
That's good news, Jacob acknowledged to the others, steering them away from his internal musings.
Jasper is pretty pissed at Sam. Edward is too, Seth confessed. Hellfire and fury might sum it up better.
Jake, you really don't think someday - Embry started, hesitantly suggesting, before breaking off.
At once, they all felt a change in the atmosphere.
We can talk about it later, Embry conceded.
Get back. They have to pass without detecting you, Jacob ordered, all playful banter and witty retorts forgotten.
Going alpha on us, Jake? Seth asked, surprised. After all, Jacob had always sworn he'd never issue commands. Not after the way Sam had abused them for so long with each of them.
If I have to, Jake muttered, slightly disgusted with himself, but resigned.
Alpha orders were meant to be used in battle, Leah reminded him.
We won't resist, Quil vowed.
We're with you all the way, Embry agreed.
Mist seeped into the clearing. With his packs' various eyes, Jacob watched through the trees as it spread out like a shimmering mirage across the ground before they actually saw any of the Volturi vampires. It oozed forward, a few inches thick and hovering just barely above the blades of grass it passed over. When it reached a decaying log, it rose up to ease over it. Just like Eleazar said, no physical barriers could stop it. The vapor continued easing across the entire length of the clearing, vanishing into the trees, though it didn't go too far inward. Perfect.
The seven members of the guard entered in a flying V formation with Alec at the head. Demetri and Afton flanked him, a step behind. Chelsea was beside Afton, a step further back, and Nadia was beside Demetri, a step back as well. Felix and Gaius with their large hulking forms were even farther back on either end, the main muscle. They walked in perfect synchrony. A single unit intent on destruction.
Go. Flank them, but wait to attack. They have to stop first. A general directing his troops. That's what he'd become. Even as he saw Nessie watching him worriedly through his actual eyes. Her hand reached out to touch him, but he sat deliberately out of reach.
He sensed she and Alice had realized the fight had begun. They were silent though. Unwilling to distract him, and risk anyone they loved or cause him to miss seeing anything important.
Something clicked into place. A piece missing from him before now. The piece fit, but it was too heavy. He wasn't strong enough mentally for it right now. But it was supposed to be there. Just not yet.
The guards continued their forward momentum, charging on the assembled vampires. It was easy to see through Seth's eyes as he watched from behind them. They were a hundred feet away from the veggie vamps. With each step, Alec's gift crept closer. It was less than thirty feet from the assembled group now.
Jacob watched as Sam's wolves stepped from the trees. Jared and Paul walked deliberately to join the vampires while four more werewolves ringed the edge of the clearing in a semicircle. Waiting. Staying at the treeline, ready to bolt the instant the fighting started - as they'd been ordered to do. All four of the young wolves were pawing the ground and snarling, teeth bared and fangs glistening with ropes of dangling saliva.
Brady and Colin were there, still only fifteen, though they'd phased about a year ago and both would be sixteen this next month, their birthdays only a few days apart.
Then there were the other two. Jax and Nicholas.
Jax was only thirteen. Eighth grade - not even in high school yet. A pup. But Nicholas, Nicky to his mom still - and therefore the pack too, was even worse. He'd turned eleven only yesterday. Truly still a child. It had been Nicky's phasing that had prompted Sam to pay Jake the visit he had only days ago.
The one where things that never should have been said were voiced. Immortalized. Forever tainting their relationship. Rendering it asunder. Irreparably damaged.
He understood why now. Truly he did. He got it as he watched the child rake his oversized claws through the dirt - his feet far too large for his body still. As he watched the edgy shifting and nervous way his fur stood on end in trembling terror.
But that didn't mean Jacob could forget or forgive.
Abruptly, the Volturi stopped. So uncoordinated compared to their previous grace. Even Alec's gift halted in response to his shock.
Hell, yeah! Embry cheered.
It had worked. The sight of the wolves had unsettled the Volturi enough to stop them in their tracks.
Focus, Leah ordered before Jacob could reprimand him.
Sam's hulking black form, the largest of all of his wolves present, remained out of sight. Forced to wait until Alec was fully engaged with Bella. It was imperative that he remain unaffected until the fighting commenced so the pack's weakness couldn't be used against Paul and Jared. As angry as Jake was with his former alpha, he wondered if Sam was struggling as much as him right now. It was brutal ordering others to fight while being forced to sit back and watch.
Even as Jacob looked through his pack's various eyes, he knew he'd sacrifice any and every one of them to protect Nessie. Even little Nicky.
Did that make him a monster?
No. I get it, Quil assured him. He would, seeing as he was the only other member of his pack that possessed an imprint.
We all understand. Mae is special - yours, Embry assured him.
For three seconds, nothing happened. Then Alec's debilitating mist started up again, progressing once more with the unstoppable force of a train.
It's time, Jacob warned, even as Bella began barreling forward, running directly at Alec.
The child-guard's eyes widened incredulously when her feet sunk right through the mist, continuing to propel her forward as she sprung off the ground. A hole was punched right through the vapor each place where her foot trod through it to meet the ground. Like stepping through a cloud - no effect on her whatsoever.
ATTACK! Jacob ordered. As one, each wolf lunged.
They raced forward, plunging through the trees, out of their hiding spots and into the clearing.
The members of the guards' heads whipped back and forth, looking from Alec to Bella in confusion. Then they were suddenly aware of the wolves coming up behind them.
Leah and Quil came at the guards from either side, behind the wall of paralyzing fog, while Seth and Embry attacked from directly behind.
Even when they'd stopped like hitting a brick wall at the sight of the wolves, they'd maintained their composure. They lost it now. The guard's perfect formation finally faltered, failing out of the sharp, precise, V it had been as the guards spun, unsure where to look. Probably for the first time ever. Over a millenia of punishing covens, and not one had ever stood a chance of fighting back. Until now.
Leah, don't engage, not yet, Jacob advised immediately. She was being tag teamed. Gaius and Nadia had both targeted her, somehow sensing she was the most powerful, the leader, of the attacking wolves.
I've got this, she confirmed. Her tone lacked all of the arrogance and drive to prove herself that it once held. Jacob instantly relaxed, believing her.
She'd become a leader, not a brash, forsaken girl. She was no longer Sam's cast-off and unwanted pack member with an axe to grind. It was so obvious now as Leah darted around the invading vampires, using her speed to make them get in each other's way, toying with them.
Jacob's attention switched to Quil, like flicking through tv channels in search of an interesting program. Quil had launched himself at Felix and the two were wrestling across the clearing floor. Snapping jaws, clawing nails, fur and dirt flying - a blurred jumble as they grappled.
Duck left, Jacob commanded, sensing Quil had missed the kick aimed at his knee. Quil jumped just in time to avoid the blow.
Thanks, man, Quil thought, even as he moved to shuffle and lunge at Felix, forcing him closer to the trees, just like Jasper had instructed.
After hearing how Alec's gift worked, Jazz advised the wolves to push the guards outwards so he and his family could help them sooner. They could meet the threat at the edges while Jasper, Garrett, and Kate, along with Jared and Paul, waited to attack the central figures, freeing Embry and Seth to help Bella. It was a well thought out plan, and it seemed to be working.
Embry, to the right of Bella, snarled at Afton, trying to nip at his feet. The vampire's red eyes and snow white hair made his look like an albino.
Jacob? Are you seeing this? Embry called, uncertain. Even as he spoke, Jake noticed what he meant. The vampire seemed to flicker, shimmering in and out of focus. Then all at once, he was gone. Vanished from sight altogether.
Eleazar hadn't known Afton from his time with the Volturi, and Edward hadn't mentioned a gift. Jacob inwardly cursed the limitations in Edward's gift. He remembered when Edward revealed them that night in the tent with Bella. He only knew what a person thought. No one must have thought of Afton's gift while he'd been in Italy. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
It's okay, I think I can track his scent, Embry thought, but even Jacob was having trouble locking it down. There were just too many in the small area, each crossing the others' paths. All of their noses were burning - the sickly, sweet scent cold fire in their sensitive nostrils.
Seth, meanwhile, to Bella's left, had his teeth clamped on Demetri's arm, just below the elbow. He was tugging at it, trying to break it off while also avoiding the tracker's kicking feet.
No way am I letting him come after you guys, Seth grunted, Demetri's constant movements preventing him from getting a good enough grip to completely rip the appendage off. He'd settle for keeping him away from Bella until the others could help.
It wouldn't be long now.
Then Carmen and Eleazar were around the edge of Alec's paralyzing mist. At once, they herded Gaius away from Leah like a couple of shepherds.
Leah, she drops her left shoulder, Jacob announced, spotting the mistake for the third time in less than ten seconds. It was subtle, but not needing to fight himself, and enhanced senses made it easier to identify.
Leah, didn't acknowledge the tip, but attacked Nadia in earnest - looking for a way to take advantage of what she now saw too. Nadia was compact, solid muscle like a gymnast, with nondescript brown hair and a square jaw. Leah sprung, catching the former Russian's thick shoulder in her lethal jaws and tearing a chunk of muscle free.
Then Edward's arm was cutting between Leah and Nadia's other fist, knocking her arm upward with the force of the block.
"Mhmm," Leah whimpered in shock as she realized he'd stopped a bone shattering jab the mousy brunette had aimed at Leah's throat. She hadn't even had a chance to drop her 'dog bone' when it happened.
Well, now, Seth thought. Approval clear in his thoughts at the way his friend had protected his sister.
Focus, Jacob hissed. Just in time for Seth to avoid getting his back leg ripped off.
Wow! Thanks, man, Seth thought even as Edward spoke to Leah.
"Together?" Edward asked, not glancing at Leah.
Ready to trust I'm strong enough? she asked, knowing he'd hear with his gift. Edward's only response was to move to her side, opening her path of attack. The silent show of support and confidence amazed Jacob, but there wasn't time to marvel just now.
Oh, geez! Ow, man. Seth moaned as Demetri caught his left front leg, the bone snapping cleanly. Seth hopped, his injured paw hovering off the ground so as not to put any weight on it.
Seth? Jacob called, wishing desperately to be there and have his back. His call was echoed by Leah's less than a heartbeat later.
I'm fine. It's already healing, just hurts like a mother, he thought back. Already he was shaking off the pain and limping less.
Boom! The sound of Emmett's body crashing into Felix's ricocheted through the area, seeming to bounce off the surrounding mountains. Lingering snow icing the tip of one even rumbled as it showered down the peak in a tiny avalanche.
Good. Quil had backup. One less person to worry about.
Absently, Jacob noted that Paul had joined Irina and Tanya to take on Chelsea. Given Paul's recent revelation, he wanted him to survive nearly more than any other, but Paul was Sam's to worry over. Jacob had his own pack to monitor.
Bella's warning, when it came, was very nearly too late.
"Embry, look out!" Bella screamed, noticing how close Afton had forced the wolf to the sweetly destructive cloud still enshrouding Alec.
Instantly, Jacob's attention was on one of his oldest friends, and pack brother.
Alec was grinning the same vicious smirk his sister always wore at having noted their proximity as well. He was just waiting to deal a death blow to the incapacitated wolf.
Afton's ability to turn invisible was making it exceedingly difficult for Embry to pin him down. He was forced to track something he couldn't see while attacking and avoiding the unseen vampire's well aimed blows all at the same time.
The confusion had Embry basically spinning in circles this whole time. A dog chasing its own tail - literally.
The grey and black wolf skittered back immediately at Bella's warning, scutting backwards like a crab or little kid afraid of spiders after almost stepping on one.
Jacob, I lost him! Where -
"Waahhhhhhmm," Embry's thoughts broke off as he whimpered, collapsing. He'd moved right into an invisible kick that caved half of Embry's side in instantly.
Pain exploded outward, filling the clearing like a nuclear blast. The fallout rained down, dosing Seth, Leah, and Quil. All three howled in shared pain in the same instance. Their legs quivered, buckling under them.
"Jacob?" Nessie cried, panic etched on her face as she watched him. He must have whimpered and alerted her to what just happened.
Jacob felt his pack's collective pain. A roar bellowed out of him, making Alice quake and Nessie's eyes go impossibly wide. She tried to run to him, but the pixie fortune teller yanked her back.
His howl was endless, a single note designating the loss of something irreplaceable. NO! Jacob screamed, cutting himself off as well as the others.
Where was Carlisle? He'd promised to be there if something like this happened.
Even as he thought the words, Carlisle reached Embry's side, immediately kneeling to check him over while Esme stood at his back, warding off any who would think to approach the pair on the ground.
Embry's breaths wheezed in and out, only barely making the broken, crushed side of his chest rise beneath the matted, blood-soaked fur. It was the same for Jacob and the other pack members. Each suffering with their fallen brother.
Whimpers and yips sounded from each of them. A symphony of misery. The pack's greatest strength was their unity. Right now, it was also their greatest weakness.
GET UP. NOW! FIGHT! Jacob ordered, fighting through the hase of pain to refocus on each members' surroundings. Nessie's continued attempts to break free of Alice's grip to reach him centered him as nothing else could. As he came back to himself, it became easier for the others to.
FIGHT! Jacob ordered again, feeling the way each members' limbs jerked like marionettes with puppeteers pulling their strings, urging them to resume fighting.
Seeing Carlisle through Embry's eyes reminded him of Bella. Of her struggle and determination to make it through the pregnancy. To live long enough to be turned. She'd only needed to survive long enough. If Embry's healing…
Live. Keep your heart beating, Jacob commanded Embry, the impulse taking root in his soul. All the times Bella had said Carlisle could save her, if only she kept her heart beating. Could it be the same now, for Embry?
It had to be. He would not let his friend die here. Not now. Not while Jake was on the other side of the world, so far from watching his back.
Jasper slipped between Seth and Demetri, temporarily blocking Jacob's view of the vampire through Seth's eyes. "Go. Help Bella," Jasper ordered Seth. Jacob saw the wolf moving to help his best girl friend, but his primary focus remained on the injured wolf.
Jake, I can't, Embry whined. The pain seemed to double, pressing in on Jacob's chest until the effort of breathing was nearly impossible, but he resisted giving in. Shoved the encroaching blackness away, refusing to yield to its insistence. He would not let Embry succumb either.
LIVE, Jacob countered, screaming the command through his head, willing it with his very essence.
What on earth… Jacob sensed that his oldest friend, Quil, his friend since they were infants sharing a crib while their fathers fished together, was scared of him. Scared of what he was trying to do. It went against the natural order of things. But he had to try. He'd never forgive himself if he didn't.
From Embry's perspective, Jacob watched as Carlisle's hand and the lower part of his arm reached into his body, disappearing beneath the fur, almost like it was reaching across the Equator before disappearing.
It honestly felt like he was reaching into Jacob's own chest. Touching his recently decimated organs.
Blood spilled, but aroma was that of the unappealing wolves' blood - liquid, but not food. Even the Volturi turned their noses up at it.
Alec started laughing. A deep, bellowing laugh that portrayed indefinable mirth. He was enjoying the pain he'd helped inflict.
Ignore Embry and keep fighting, Jacob urged, watching as each pack member shook the pain away to re engage the enemies attacking them.
"AHHH!" Bella roared, shaking spasms roiled through her as she clenched her fists and bared her teeth. She looked like the vampire's of their legends. The ones whispered about around campfires. Not a single inch of her resembled the girl he'd once believed he loved.
All at once Jacob felt through Embry as Carlisle's hand encompassed his heart, pushing the shredded, pulverisized strips back into place. Only the pressure and placement of his hand kept them in place, the occasional squeeze attempting to circulate blood through the torn vessels. The fluid squirted and leaked, filling cavities it had no place being.
LIVE, he begged, offering his own life to see it done. Determined to overcome the insurmountable damage. The same mystical force that made him a wolf seemed to tear at him, shredding away pieces of his soul to sustain Embry. It was excruciating, but he gnashed his jaws together and bore it, determined to see Embry through this. If they could just hold on long enough.
"No! Reign it in, Bella," Jasper begged. Absently, Jacob noted that Demetri was between the southern soldier and his mate. Judging by the guard's calculating joy, he'd done it deliberately.
"Sam! Nooooo!" Edward screamed suddenly, momentarily abandoning Leah to try and intercept the new wolf bounding into the clearing, appearing out of nowhere. Edward, the fastest of them, wasn't fast enough.
Sam launched himself at the sadistic child, black fur pressed flat against him by the wind and speed of his attack.
The horse sized beast slammed to the ground, skidding to fall a few feet short of his intended target. Blank, unseeing eyes the size of saucers were visible through Seth's eyes.
Sam had argued that as the strongest, he should be the one helping Bella. But after learning that what affected him, affected all of his wolves, it wasn't worth the risk of accidentally taking out Paul and Jared. But Sam had played right into that trap. Rage over his brother, his true, blood brother, and not just a pack brother, made him behave irrationally.
Oh, god, Jake. What are you doing to me? Embry wailed. Still, Jacob did not let up. He would not give up on him. Not if there was a chance.
Kate immediately crouched over the suddenly vulnerable Jared, shielding him. Afton would be shocked if he tried to go through her to harm the wolf. Garrett, meanwhile, had his eyes closed, trying to listen for his movements amidst all the others fighting.
Because everyone still was. Embry's injury had weakened his pack. Jacob's pack. And the Volturi had taken advantage to rebound and attack with renewed vigor, and now Sam's wolves were out altogether.
Quil seemed to be struggling the most. Luckily, Em and Rose were there to help him handle Felix. The dark enforcer had finally met his match in the largest Cullen - with a little help from the other two.
Jacob, Embry thought, his name a plea.
Keep fighting! I'm sorry, Embry, but you have to hold on. Give him time to help you. Breathe. Keep your heart beating. LIVE. Jacob continued to order, feeling the alpha power coursing through him, a deep timber resounding in his words lending them extra power and strength.
Every breath burned. The cold sting of the surrounding vampires' scents and the ache of punctured lungs. Only one of Embry's lungs was still functioning. Oxygen deprivation was making all of the pack's eyes blurry as each struggled to breathe. Embry's pain was not his alone, but shared collectively.
"Irina, shake it off. It wasn't his fault! Don't do it," Edward called, while still fighting Nadia. Edward had said she was a master of systema. One of the original creators of the fighting style, she was the newest member of the Volturi guard - less than a decade with them. Caius himself extended the offer after hearing stories of her legendary skills at fighting, and how she never lost a match.
Leah played off him beautifully. Shaking off the pain of Embry's wounds to use the opening Edward gave her as they fought the hard-faced, skilled guard.
The warning had Jacob looking through Leah's eye's, as off in the distance, a scene unfolded.
Paul, the other wolf paralyzed by Sam's recklessness, was in trouble. Tanya continued to fight Chelsea, but Irina was standing off to the side, staring coldly down at the wolf. Possibly the same one that had killed her beloved Laurent. Chelsea's face was screwed, concentrating on Tanya until the strawberry blond stumbled, backing up with a perplexed expression.
No, please. Not Paul. His sister couldn't lose him now. Please don't make Jacob responsible for his niece or nephew never knowing their father. Jacob begged, but no one was free to help. They each had their own fights to worry about.
Irina met Chelsea's eyes and deliberately turned her back on the senseless wolf, all but giving his head to Chelsea on a silver platter.
"Tanya, stop her!" Carlisle begged, noticing the scene too after Edward's plea. Jacob watched the terrified doctor through Embry's eyes now, seeing his genuine upset at this new turn, but he couldn't move to go help himself. He was the only thing keeping Embry alive. His hand still held the pieces together as they struggled to heal and mend.
"They're our friends, Tanya. They're here helping us today. Think of Leah - he's as good as her brother. Don't let him die. Don't put her through that," Edward coaxed, even as he returned a jab at Nadia, and dodged her return volley of hits.
Conflict and uncertainty warred across Tanya's face, making her lapse into a stupor as Chelsea stalked closer, only three feet separating them.
Jacob, please! Let me go, Embry begged, his mental voice so much weaker now. But it was still there.
No! I can't. You have to LIVE. Jacob just had to hold onto him for a little longer.
A click of a lighter cut through the din of crunching rock and panting breaths, quick from exertion. Accompanying it was the smell of butane igniting. Time seemed to freeze as Chelsea carelessly tossed the open flame at Tanya.
But Tanya was propelled sideway, and it was Irina's arm that was hit instead. The appendage caught fire at once, the blaze spreading to consume every inch almost instantly, like spontaneous combustion. Irina's body was a human torch. She didn't even have time to scream before it was too late.
"AHHHHHH!" Tanya cried in disbelief, springing at Chelsea to rip and claw her to pieces. Rage making her crazed as she janked the woman's dark braids.
"NOOOOOO!" Kate echoed, abandoning Jared and Garrett to join her sister in the fight. She lept the distance separating them and grabbed the exposed coffee and cream skin of Chelsea's arm, unleashing the full magnitude of her gift.
"Katie, wait," Garrett pleaded, but she didn't stop, and he wouldn't leave Jared when the wolf was defenseless.
Seth, now. Distract him. We need Sam awake so Paul and Jared can fight, Jacob thought ruthlessly taking advantage of the opening the events had provided.
Bella's instant rage was gone as fast as it came when she saw what Seth was doing. Seth distracted the male witch twin, digging in the dirt so it went flying in Alec's face like a real dog while Bella pulled Sam free of the numbing mist, having realized it was their only shot to turn things back in their favor.
Chelsea shook like she was in an electric chair experiencing her death sentence. Right then she was. But Kate was not letting up anytime soon. This moment would last as long as she could possibly make it.
Jacob's hold on Embry was weakening. He'd been distracted too long, and the wolf was fading.
LIVE, Jacob ordered, once more pulling him back from the brink. Embry didn't protest this time. Too weak or was it finally working? Esme had knelt and was cradling the massive wolf's head in her lap, gently stroking his matted grey fur.
Jacob could still feel Carlisle's hand, squeezing Embry's - his, their - hearts to keep the blood moving through his body. But each squeeze seemed to rip apart the freshly woven tissue. It was too fragile. Their accelerated healing wasn't happening fast enough. But if he didn't help circulate the blood, he'd be lost to them too. A catch-22.
Was there even any blood left to circulate? So much as leaked and spilt. It felt like his vessels were sandpaper scraping the abused tissue raw.
Meanwhile, Jasper was destroying Demetri. The fight was intense. Jasper was revealing a lethal side he hadn't in training. He was like an avenging angel delivering heaven's wrath. It made Jacob internally smile to see it. His imprint and Alice were safe.
Seth was still helping Emmett, Rose, and Bella with the witch twin. Alec was no match for the four, particularly now that Bella had some training and backup. He looked to already be missing an arm.
Quil and Paul each had one of Gaius's arms while Eleazar had his feet and Carmen was perched on the dark, barrel-chested former gladiator's back. Her arms were locked around his neck, breaking through his thickly corded neck. This was one arena he would not be victorious in.
Leah was tearing into Nadia with a vengeance. The fighter was missing pieces everywhere, her body resembling swiss cheese. But she hadn't given up yet.
"Jacob," Nessie whispered, voice shattered, noticing a change even before Jacob detected it.
No, please. Jake, just let me go. I love you, but you've got to let me die. Please. Just let me die. I beg of you, let me go. I want to die. The plea was so heartbreakingly sincere, Jacob knew Embry meant it. He did not want to try anymore. He simply didn't have the strength. The damage was too severe. You have to let me go now. Please, Jake. It's time.
Jacob's true eyes sought out his imprint, still sitting nearby and watching him closely, visibly sharing his pain. The sight of her gave him the strength to do what he knew he must.
It's okay. I love you too, brother. Goodbye, Jacob thought, releasing his hold on his packmate. The only tie grounding Embry in this world.
The tie broke, not a slow unraveling, but quick and clean. The instant Jacob let up, Embry's essence vanished, disappearing from their minds and leaving a blank, empty nothing in his place. An endless, chilling void.
At the very same moment, Jacob sensed Leah's distress - not loss, but fear. And he scented the smell of fresh blood through her nose.
Seth! Jared's in trouble.
Bella -
Has Emmett and Rosalie. GO! But Seth was already running, physically following his alpha's command before he'd consciously agreed.
The overwhelming pain of Embry's death threatened to bowl them all over, but Jacob forced Seth onward, using him as a battering ram when he somehow managed to intercept Afton. The invisible guard flew backwards when Seth hit him, stopping him from taking a second, possibly more deadly, swipe at Jared. Already the wolf's leg was a mangled mess of tissue, fur, and blood. A missing piece of flesh that had been torn clean away lay on the ground several feet away.
Then Edward and Jasper were there, everyone else falling back to let the gifted brothers face Afton uninterrupted.
I can't, Jake. I'm done, Quil thought a second later. He was no longer needed to fight, and all he wanted was to go to his fallen brother.
It's fine. The instant Jacob issued the okay, Quil phased, disappearing from the collective mind and the encroaching pain dragging Leah, Seth, and himself under.
Embry was really and truly dead. He'd had to beg Jacob to let him die. Jacob had abused his power today - just like Sam. He wasn't fit to lead, after all. More harm than good had probably been done this day. In the end, he'd only prolonged Embry's suffering. It was a truth he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
A cyclone of razor blades and broken glass whipped through him, decimating his insides. The lingering feel of Embry's shredded, mutilated heart and organs superimposed themselves in Jake allowing him to truly experience what that felt like. The sickening scent of burning vampires and bits of blowing ash from their remains clogged his nose.
Memories of Embry being scared of Sam, of not wanting to be a wolf crowded in, clamoring loudly in his mind. Seth and Leah's too. Leah was probably the only one to hate being a wolf more than Embry had. With Jacob not far behind either of them.
It had destroyed Embry's relationship with his mom. Sam had forbidden him from telling her the truth. By the time Embry joined Jacob's pack, the damage to their relationship from all the lying was too much. Embry hadn't seen a point in telling her by then. Not when she'd had enough, and had already firmly decided that he was a lost cause and nothing more than a disappointment.
Grief consumed them. Seth, Leah, and Jake.
Yet all the while, Jacob continued monitoring the progress of Edward and Jasper as they destroyed the final vampire. Though he only spared enough attention to the fight to ensure that no one else was lost this day.
Absently, he watched as Edward and Jasper teamed up to deliver the death blow to Afton. He expected to feel resentful that he wasn't the one delivering it. But there was nothing. He was empty.
I'll be home this time tomorrow, Jacob thought. He needed to relay the news to Nessie and Alice. He couldn't leave them in the dark about what had happened here longer than necessary.
I'm not staying. Kate and Tanya are a mess. They gave me a home this last year. I want to be there for them. And I don't want to be here when Edward leaves, Leah warned.
The words barely registered, the devastation too great for comprehension.
Seth asked for him, When he leaves? Why would Edward be leaving?
He's returning Alec to the Volturi. And making a deal with them. His help for their promise of never retaliating against us or the Cullens, or coming after Mae, Leah explained. Apparently she and Edward had already discussed what came next for them. And it wasn't riding off into the next twilight.
Edward was sacrificing himself for his daughter. If the Volturi were never coming for her, she'd be safe. No one else wanted to harm her. She didn't need a protector anymore. She was truly immortal. She didn't need him.
He wouldn't have to stay and look at her - each time remembering Sam's words and her eyes as he released his hold on Embry. The latter association had been unconsciously made, but now it was branded into his very soul.
I'm sorry, Leah, Jacob offered. There wasn't anything more. He had nothing else to give, other than his blessing to leave immediately. He didn't blame her for that in the least. He just might do the same.
It's not like we were together, Leah thought dismissively, but disappointment colored her thoughts in addition to the pain of loss. You should go - tell Mae and Alice it's over.
He hesitated. The pain was worse when he wasn't wolf. Animals didn't feel as deeply as humans did. He'd been avoiding facing the full brunt of his loss by having that brief conversation - one that could have happened over the phone.
Taking a deep breath, he embraced the inevitable.
It was even worse than he expected.
May
"I can't stay here anymore," Jacob whispered the minute he walked inside after Embry's wolf was buried and the service ended.
He'd explained everything to Embry's mother. Finally including her in the secret. Afterwards, she'd told him never to speak to her again. She'd been horrified, and hadn't taken well to the last sight of her son. Especially not when her son was in the form of the broken remains of a wolf. Never again would she have the chance to see the boy she'd raised. The one she'd very nearly turned her back on these last two years.
"I know, son," Billy said, unsurprised. Probably he was just grateful Jacob at least had the decency to say goodbye first this time.
"This isn't like before," he said. He wasn't leaving to be dramatic over a broken heart. God, he'd been so foolish. There were worse things than being constantly rejected by your crush. Infinitely worse.
"It's a great program. You have a chance to make something of yourself," Billy acknowledged. His father's level of understanding made Jacob want to cry tears of relief.
"I called my roommate from UW while you were gone. She moved down there a while ago and there's a job waiting if you want it - mechanic position at a local shop. I mentioned your rabbit and the bikes," Rachel said, having appeared in the hallway while he was talking to Billy. Her hand covered her lower abdomen and she stared at him pityingly. "I can see if they'll let you go ahead and start right away."
If Paul had died…
All the more reason he had to go. Sam called it. This was his doing. They'd all be better off without him around mucking things up.
"Thanks," he muttered, shifting uncomfortably.
"Will you go see him settled?" Billy asked Rachel, knowing she had connections, and with his limited mobility, he wouldn't be much help.
"We both will," Paul said coming out of the bedroom. Great. Paul planned to help him move. Just what he needed.
Paul nodded to the front door, silently indicating that he wished to speak with Jacob privately. Jacob sighed, but followed the former hothead outside, ready to get this conversation over with as fast as possible.
"I didn't know what Sam said to you - not until after I'd -"
"It's fine, Paul. Trust me. I get it," Jacob said dismissively, waving the apology away. He'd never really been mad at Paul. Paul was always mouthing off. And he had an imprint too - a baby as well now - of course he'd been worried that day.
"He's not right - about any of it. And I've seen you. You with her. Don't take what he said to heart and do something stupid," Paul advised, sounding surprisingly sincere and wise.
"She wants me to go," Jacob confessed. She'd said as much on the plane ride home.
"You really think you can?" Paul asked doubtfully. His wrinkled brow and down-curled lips said he didn't think Jacob would have much luck trying to stay away.
Paul may understand the pull of the imprinting, but his relationship with Rachel was vastly different from the one Jacob had with Nessie. Rachel loved and needed Paul. Nessie… didn't. In any way.
"I think this situation has been messed up for a long time now. I've been selfish. And my best friend is dead because of it," Jacob said, verbalizing a painful truth.
"No one blames you. He'd have fought regardless," Paul countered.
"I'd have thought you'd be right with Sam. Ready to crucify me," Jake admitted, shocked at the direction this conversation had taken.
"Becoming a parent clarifies things. Simplifies them too. Family is what's most important. No matter what that family looks like. I definitely understand Bella more," Paul said dryly.
"You think I've got a shot of making a go of things away from here?"
"If anyone can, it'll be you," Paul said, displaying more faith in Jacob than he had in himself. "Just don't forget us. Remember what I said. Family is the most important thing in the world."
If this was a preview of the new and improved version of Paul, Jacob might not mind welcoming him into the family and calling him brother.
May
They'd just stopped for gas in Oregon. Apparently you weren't allowed to pump it yourself here. So he was just sitting there waiting for the guy to finish. The minute they'd crossed the state line and moved out of Washington, he felt the freedom Nessie had described take hold. Possibilities. He'd been where Bella had once been when they first became friends, waiting, stuck. Now he could move forward, and he was so grateful.
The price slowly ticked up on the gas gauge as he waited, the tank of his rabbit taking forever to fill. The little white box in his cup holder seemed to glare at him accusingly. Only a corner of the narrow, square cardboard actually fit in the round hole, and it had been rattling loudly since he'd pulled out of his dad's driveway. The louder it got, the more it demanded he open it. He'd not been able to bring himself to do it before now - not with the suffocating weight of the past dragging him down. Jasper had discretely handed the box to him when he'd brought Nessie around for Jacob to say goodbye to.
Giving in, he opened the box no bigger than his hand. Nestled inside was a round tarnished gold object, very similar to the locket Nessie had gotten for Christmas. He picked it up. It fit perfectly in the palm of his hand and looked both old and well loved. There were two latches; it opened from either side.
Unclasping one side revealed it to be a pocket watch. Likely the kind Jazz had had when he was human back in the eighteen hundreds. Idly, he wondered if Bella knew Jasper had given this to Jacob. He closed that side, and popped the other catch open. It was a compass. A note on a little scrap of folded paper had been placed inside. Jake carefully opened it, and read the message.
She's not going anywhere. Time is on your side. May this guide you home when you're ready.
Approval for the decision to leave. That was the sense that Jacob got from the message. Jazz didn't blame Jacob for taking off and leaving his daughter behind. It was even a blessing assuring him he'd be welcome home when he was ready. If that day ever came.