Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!

This chapter is kind of uneventful, but I was trying to make my writing reflect how she feels about life at this point. It's just mhew. Endless days passing without anything to look forward to. It's also a reflection of her young age. Hopefully you'll like it anyways.

This chapter has two theme songs - Cut by Plumb and Turn to Stone by Ingrid Michaelson.

PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(

Ch 3: Lonely - Mae

Year 2 - 2007-2008

June

Bella and Jasper told her they were moving in June, not long after her life had been turned inside out. So what was one more change when added to the others?

It wasn't like moving meant leaving Grandpa Charlie, Sue, Billy, Quil, and the only home she'd ever known. It wasn't like she hadn't just lost her best, not to mention only, friend and her dad, all in the span of a couple days.

"All right. Do I need to help pack?" she asked, hiding her true feelings, though Jasper no doubt detected them. Her dad's gift was a blessing and a curse.

He hesitated. Yep, he'd definitely picked up on her conflicting emotions. He debated calling her on them, but in the end, didn't. She appreciated it. There was nothing for it anyways. And after everything they'd gone through for her, trying to find answers, taking on the Volturi, she didn't want to upset them when there was no solution. They needed to do this, so she would go along with it for their sake.

"I think Esme is bringing boxes over tomorrow. You can help me," Bella said, smiling and running her fingers through Mae's curls. The smile didn't reach her mother's eyes.

Bella was sad to be leaving Forks too. This place would always be important to both of them. Mae was even more grateful Jazz hadn't called her on her reluctance to move. Bella didn't need to feel guilty or as if she wasn't doing right by her daughter. This was just the life they lived. The way things had to be because of what they were. Better that she start getting used to it now.

The phone rang. Happiness filled her when she saw the screen, completely replacing the morose feelings of doom and gloom.

"Guess that's our cue," Bella said, chuckling at her daughter and following her mate out of the room.

"Hi, Jake," Mae greeted, trying to sound nonchalant, and not like she'd been waiting for this call all day. The same way she did everyday.

Everyone in her family was ridiculously happy. It was hard to be around them for long periods of time without feeling lonely and a smidge resentful. Without Jake, she couldn't visit the rez anymore, so the only people she saw were her family or Charlie and Sue at their tri-weekly dinners. The same ones where she was forced to choke down human food since Grandpa Charlie insisted she was too skinny and needed to eat more with the way she was growing.

There'd been a time, not too long ago even, where she'd practically begged to return to her family. A time when her greatest wish was to be constantly surrounded by the other Cullens. Back when she'd been endlessly traveling in Central America. But it had seemed different then. More fun. Now…

It was like she was standing outside, watching their happiness through a window, the door barred, forbidding her entry. Not really a part of it. An observer only. Not a participant herself.

"How's it going?" Jacob asked, a little more animated than he'd sounded lately. Guess he was hitting it off with his new roommate. She'd been surprised he'd want one, but he seemed to be helping Jacob more than she could have hoped for.

"We're moving," she announced flatly.

"Where to this time?" A touch of curiosity. Maybe today they'd have a real conversation. Not just idle small talk where they were both aware that the other was in pain, but neither were capable of discussing the source. It was still too soon, the wounds too fresh to pick at the scabs without inflicting more damage. The type that permanently disfigured.

"Alaska. They want to be close to the Denalis since… "

"Irina. Yeah, makes sense," Jacob supplied, suddenly distant. He shut down whenever that day was brought up. "Look, Nessie, my break is almost over. I need to get back to it."

"Jacob, wait. I didn't mean to bring up -"

"I really have to go. I'll call tomorrow," he interrupted.

"Bye," she said to the dial tone droning a continuous, flat hum. He'd hung up before she'd even had the chance to speak.

Mae held the phone, thinking of all the ways it could have gone differently. She didn't regret sending him away. She refused to hold him back or prevent him from healing. And right now, she wasn't what he needed. She couldn't be selfish with Jake and insist he provide something that would negatively impact him - no matter how much she longed for him to come home.

Jacob belonged with them. They were his home. Jazz had promised he'd figure it out someday, but warned her it would take time, and she'd have to be patient in the meantime. Being patient sucked. It was boring. Not to mention lonely.

The phone rang again. Her breath caught. He was calling back - maybe he -

But no. It wasn't him. It was Edward. Again. Like Jacob, he called her every day.

The desire to snarl startled her, but all she did was press decline. Same as she did each time he called. She didn't need him. She had Jasper. He, at least, wanted her.

Another phone rang in the other room. Bella's. Looked like Edward was trying to go around her to force a conversation she wasn't ready to have happen.

Curiosity still prodded her to listen at the door. Cracking it, she had no problem eavesdropping on at least Bella's part of the conversation. Sometimes she wished she had vampire hearing. Hers was nowhere near as good as her family's, so she couldn't hear what Edward said on the other end.

Jazz no doubt sensed what she was about, but he didn't give her away. Her papa was her partner in crime. Loyal to her before Edward. Was it any wonder that Rose accused her of being a daddy's girl?

"We just told her we're moving. Jasper said she's upset about it," Bella revealed. Traitors - the both of them.

"She's not really talking to me either. I was the same at her age, but I'm starting to feel bad for my parents if I made it this hard on them," Bella murmured. Mae heard Jasper pulling Bella into his embrace.

It wasn't as if she intentionally shut them out. There just wasn't anything they could say or do to make things better. Why would she whine and carry on when that solved nothing, and only served to make them feel terrible?

Bella laughed at whatever Edward said in response to her complaint. The sound tinkled beautifully, free and filled with genuine delight. It was strange to think that her mom and dad were bonding and becoming friends because of her silence. Perhaps something good could come out of all of this.

"Yes, well, you deserve to be lost for once," Bella teased merrily. "The family all agrees that you had it coming."

Jazz's laugh joined her momma's, the sounds intermingling, every bit as entwined together as they physically were. The laughter faded out, but her parents didn't speak, likely listening to Edward.

"Kate's already promised to start helping me with my shield as soon as we get there," Bella said a minute later.

Another long pause.

"I'll tell her. Take care of yourself. Bye, Edward," Bella promised, disconnecting the call.

July

Sue and Charlie had shown up first thing that morning claiming that Billy had asked for her. It was the most exciting thing she'd heard in weeks.

Bella and Jasper had sent her off with her grandfather, so she could spend the day with Jacob's father. She'd missed him terribly these last weeks, months really.

The first thing she saw when she entered the small red house was the keyboard. It was nothing fancy, not like the grand piano at her grandparent's house, just a standard plastic keyboard propped on a black metal stand. It was sitting in front of the couch just waiting to be played. There was barely room for it in the cramped space, but Billy had obviously had it arranged solely for her benefit.

Mae's fingers itched to touch it.

"Go on," Billy encouraged, giving her permission to give in to the call of the instrument.

"Where did you get this?" she breathed, running a hand lightly over it before depressing a single key and listening as the note filled the room, lingering in the temporary silence.

"Rachel scrounged it up from the school. New ones were just donated, and the teachers were allowed to buy the old ones at a good price. She got it for you. I hoped you would play for me whenever you visited. Maybe come teach my grandchild when he or she is old enough," Billy explained.

"You want me to keep visiting?" Mae asked cautiously. She'd been afraid he wouldn't. Without Jacob, why would he want her?

"Of course. I don't love you because of my son. I love you for you," Billy vowed, making tears unexpectedly well up in her eyes.

Without pausing, she launched herself at him, hugging him fiercely, and pressing her palm to his cheek to show him what it meant to her to hear that.

"Hmph," he grunted, and she instantly let up, worried she'd break him with her extra strength.

Once her emotions were a little more under control, she went and began playing for him. All of the last weeks funneled through her hands and into the music. The same as her gift was channeled through her hands when she wished to share her thoughts. Her fingers danced over the keys, creating a reflection of herself to fill the room.

It was the first time she'd played since before her impromptu trip to Chile. For all the grandeur of the piano that her grandparents' possessed, she hadn't been able to bring herself to touch it. Too many memories now after the way she and Edward had played it together in the days leading up to her departure. It was how they'd connected and gotten to know one another.

Before he broke his promise.

Before he left her.

Before they vanished, leaving her all alone.

"You've got a lot bottled up there, Mae," Billy said when she finished. He was watching her sadly. Had the music really revealed so much? She hadn't meant it to. It'd just sort of happened. Like the emotions had been ready to burst free and just been waiting for the opportunity. "Be sure you're looking out for yourself too, not just everyone else, yeah?"

Did he think her a martyr, or just overly compassionate?

"I will," Mae promised.

"You'll come back again before you leave?" He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"As often as I can. And I'll visit once I'm gone."

"I'll look forward to it."

August

"How were classes?"

Jacob started classes this week. He still called every day. Like clockwork. Each day he sounded more like Jacob. The perpetually happy friend she remembered. California had been good for him. He was slowly coming back to life.

"Good. Easier than I expected. Guess it helps having fewer distractions," he said, a little disbelievingly.

Distractions. Like her. And all the problems that came with. She wondered if he even realized what he'd just implied.

"Or you're just naturally smart," she suggested lightly, letting his comment go. She'd become overly sensitive in the last few months. Time to stop taking everything so personally.

"That's definitely a possibility. Plus I'm only taking classes I actually want to take, so I, you know, listen and pay attention," he joked.

"You like them then? Which is your favorite?"

He told her about the pros and cons of each class, explaining how different it was from high school - not that he'd tried much then - talking easily and laughing freely as he filled her in. At one point he stopped to talk to his roommate.

Party at Kappa Kappa Gamma tomorrow night. I scored us an invite. You in? Mae heard Aiden ask in the background.

"Can't. I have to work all day, so I can't call Ness until then," Jacob said, disappointment clear. But he'd picked talking to her over going out. A little bubble of excitement expanded in her chest.

Lame, dude. A thud sounded, like someone had just gotten hit, and judging from the 'Oof!', it had been Aiden. She doubted his roommate was strong enough for Jacob to even notice if he tried to hit the wolf.

"How is Aiden?" Mae asked, curious about the guy Jacob was spending so much time with. He'd told her about him a few times over the summer, enough that Mae felt like she was starting to know him herself.

"Good. He's easy to get along with. And he's been here a year longer than me, so he's been introducing me around now that everyone is back from summer break," Jacob said.

"That's good. You work tonight?"

"Nope," he said happily, drawing out the p sound and letting it end with a pop! "We're heading to the beach to go surfing in a bit."

"Don't let me keep you," Mae said, laughing at his enthusiasm. They'd already been on the phone over an hour.

His new interest in surfing amused Mae. He'd grown up on the ocean, his house literally a three minute walk from the beach, and with his body temperature, the cold water wasn't actually a deterrent, but it wasn't until he moved to La Jolla that he'd taken up the sport.

"Thanks. Bye, Nessie," Jacob said easily.

After she hung up, Mae joined Bella in the living room. Her momma was curled up on the sofa reading a book. Not an unusual occurrence, except this time it was a textbook instead of one of the numerous worn paperbacks that lined the many, many shelves of their new home. Several entire walls from floor to ceiling had been converted to bookcases to display and house her parents' vast collection.

Mae had almost forgotten Bella had started classes this week too. There was a distinct difference in how Bella was treating college, and how Jake had described his. Bella left for class and returned directly after. It took up maybe three hours of her day. Total. Jacob made it sound like there was constantly something happening on campus, and he wanted to be part of all of it. Unless he had to work. Then he was bummed about missing out.

"You were on the phone a while. How is he?" Bella asked, wrapping an arm around Mae and letting her snuggle against her momma's cool, hard side.

"Sounds like he's having fun and getting out more than he was over the summer," she summarized.

"That's a relief. It's not good for him to stay cooped up and dwell on what happened. He needs to get out and start living again. Trust me," Bella said, emphasizing the last part.

It reminded Mae that Bella had lived before she came along, and that there was so much about her life and history that Mae wasn't privy to. But Bella was always vague when asked, claiming she couldn't really remember her human life, and nothing important had happened to her until Mae and Jazz came into the picture. What a copout. Amazing how she'd conveniently forget when asked, but she could remember enough to insert comments in a casual conversation.

Was that what Jake was doing though? Dwelling. Was he as stuck as she felt? Aimlessly letting the days pass without having any real purpose?

"Yeah… " Mae said, getting up. "Be back in a minute," she murmured, heading back into her room for at least the illusion of privacy.

As if Bella hadn't heard every word they'd exchanged herself, and had only been asking because she enjoyed making conversation with her daughter. Or because she was trying to gently steer her into doing this very thing.

"Jake?" she said when he answered on the first ring.

"You do know it's only been ten minutes since we spoke, right?"

Actually twelve, but who's counting?

"You don't need to call me everyday. You should go to that party tomorrow after work instead," Mae insisted.

"You sure?" he sounded surprised, and confused. It wasn't often that Mae caught him off guard. They were usually too much on the same page for it to happen.

"Don't let your obligations to me hold you back," she said, determined.

"If you're sure," he said slowly, testing the idea out.

"It's not like I'm not busy here too," she said, lying through her teeth. When had that become okay? When had lying become the norm for them? Yet she found herself doing it more and more as she expanded on the joys of living in Alaska.

Mae hated Alaska. Hated everything about the state. Probably just because it meant leaving the life she loved, but she'd grown to irrationally hate the state - despite its beauty and amusements.

"You really are the greatest, Nessie," Jake said, and she pictured him shaking his head in disbelief.

"Have fun, Jake," Mae intoned with false brightness, hanging up before she changed her mind.

It was over a week before he called again. Guess he'd take her words about not needing to call daily literally.

September

"Happy birthday, Ness," Jake said happily. It wasn't even seven in the morning yet. He must have gotten up early to call her before his day got started. It'd been ages since they last talked, and the idea made her truly happy.

"Thanks! Momma got us tickets to go visit Forks. We're going for fall break next month. You're break is the same week, right?" Mae asked, a plan already forming in her head about how the visit would go. She'd checked on the school websites to make sure the dates coincided.

By then, it'll have been five months since she last saw Jake.

"Uh, I think so," he said hesitantly. He must not know when it was off the top of his head like she did. Must be nice to have more pressing distractions.

"Will you come home too?" she requested. Surely he was missing Billy as much as she was. Charlie and Sue too. "We can have a late celebration, hang out on the beach, go swimming - you can teach me to surf and show off your mad skills" she suggested, wanting to recreate a day like the ones they used to have.

"Mad skills? You've been spending too much time with Emmett," he joked. "You sound just like the big lug."

"But you'll come?" she pressed.

"Sure, sure. I'll try to," he agreed, chuckling at her eagerness.

Finally, something to look forward to!

October

"Looks like I'm not going to be able to make it. I have a chance to pick up a couple extra shifts this week. I could really use the money to get that wheelchair lift for Paul's new SUV," Jake said. He sounded strange. Not precisely like he was lying, but he was definitely hiding something. Was it the money thing? He knew her family had plenty. They were always willing to help out. Especially for Billy. Mae loved him too.

"Jake, we could -"

"I already told them I'd work," he said sharply.

"Of course. You should stay," Mae said, cut by his harshness. He didn't want to see her. He didn't miss her the way she missed him. Of course not. She was a reminder of the past. Of his losses.

"Thanks for understanding," he said flatly. The hollowness of the summer invading him again.

"How is work?"

"This guy came in the other day with his brake pads completely gone. I have no idea what he was doing to get them like that," he said, trying for normal.

He failed, and the conversation wrapped up shortly after. He didn't want to visit her. What else was there to say really?

November

Even as things slowly withered between her and Jacob, Edward persistently called. Like a dog with a bone, he was determined to get her to talk to him. She figured he'd give up before too much longer if she continued refusing to take his calls.

He was good at giving up.

And she didn't dare hope this time would be different.

She couldn't take it if he decided she wasn't worth it at some later point.

November

Is this how this works?

The chime for a text notification was still sounding as she read the screen.

A second later another message appeared, lighting up the screen of her new cellphone - a gift from her Uncle Emmett after he broke her other one playing his newly modified version of football.

Did you see it, Renesmee?

She didn't recognize the number. The only people she knew were family, and she'd recognize all of their numbers.

Who is this? she finally typed, hesitating only a moment before sending the message.

Nahuel. The response was near instantaneous.

Mae gasped, shocked. She'd told him how cellphones worked, and how to get in touch with her. Months ago. It had been months, and when she didn't hear from him, she'd stopped hoping to.

Quickly, she replied, You got a cellphone?

How else was I supposed to talk to you again?

She squealed, unable to help herself. The fact he'd thought of her and wanted to continue their friendship was a balm to her wounded soul.

How indeed?

He didn't say anything, so she tried, I'm in Alaska now. Did you know they have icebergs here too?

Are they as beautiful as the ones we saw together?

No.

They weren't. They were magical and marvelous in Chile. Here they seemed cold. Distant. Lonely. With too many secrets hidden just beneath the surface. They were a metaphor for her, and it hit a little too close to home.

I'm always here if you'd like to talk.

And just like that, she was confessing everything about the Volturi, moving, and her dad taking off again. And he was telling her more about his own family and how difficult those first few years were when he was changing so quickly and he only had his aunt. An aunt that both loved and hated him. How she'd taught him to hate himself for the role he played in killing his mother.

Nahuel was damaged. She wanted to help fix him if she were able.

She could tell he hadn't had many friends either. It was nice being able to help him sort through his past with an objective eye. He appreciated her point of view and fresh perspective.

December

The day had finally arrived. Charlie and Sue were getting married. Days before Christmas. They'd let Alice plan it, giving her an excuse to monopolize Seth's time and visit more frequently these last couple months. It also gave her a creative outlet to use her talents.

Bella had mumbled a couple times about how surprised she was that Alice hadn't gone overboard. The whole thing was relatively sedate. Classy. Elegant. Suitable for an older couple each embarking on a second marriage later in life.

They'd foregone bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mae suspected it was because Sue had had enough trouble talking Leah into wearing a dress, let alone standing up front with her.

Mae spent the first half of the ceremony craning her neck to catch a glimpse of Jacob. She knew he was there. His familiar scent of pine and butterscotch had wafted towards her moments before the ceremony started. His late arrival meant there wasn't time to go talk to him beforehand. Eventually, Bella had clamped her arm around Mae's shoulders and given her a chilling look to keep her in place and get her to stop disrupting the ceremony.

Her cheeks had flamed in mortification when she realized a number of people were paying more attention to her fidgeting actions than they were to Sue and Charlie exchanging wedding vows.

Then as soon as the wedding was over, she'd been ushered down the street and behind the lodge where Alice had set up an extravagant stage for wedding photos. So this was where all of her excess had been channeled into.

Pictures seemed to take forever. Somehow Bella managed to sneak out after only a few minutes, but Alice had prevented Mae from following, even after she'd used her gift to show Alice she'd come right back, and held her hostage until they were completely finished. Impatient was a generous way to describe her desire to get back inside to the reception.

"Fine, go. Say hi then come right back," Alice finally relented when Mae flat out refused to smile for another picture until she'd had a chance to catch up with Jacob. "I'll send Seth after you if you don't return in ten minutes," she threatened, baring her teeth ferociously to give weight to her words. She looked like a demented fairy princess.

"Sure, sure," Mae said waving her off and hurrying back inside.

Quickly, she searched those assembled. Finally, she saw him standing with Bella. Abruptly, he shook his head and turned, heading out the doors. He was leaving? Already? But -

"If it matters, I don't think he even saw you," Leah said, offering her a twisted frown. It wasn't pitying, more sympathetic.

"I'm invisible. Great," Mae muttered.

"Renesmee, don't act your age. He didn't leave to hurt you," Leah scolded, the former kindness evaporating as quickly as it'd come.

"You're right. But it hurts all the same," Mae acknowledged, regretting the dramatic comment she'd made.

Once again, she'd been overly sensitive like the other times she'd behaved similarly these past few months. Grandpa Carlisle assured her it was normal, her body was flooded with hormones as she was continuing to mature, but she hated when it made her lash out impulsively and act like a bratty child.

"Think you can fake a smile? Charlie's headed this way, and today is pretty important for him."

The fact that Leah was treating her like an equal, not condescending like she was a little kid was enough for Mae to take the request to heart. Besides, she loved her grandfather and didn't want to ruin today for him.

"Convincing?" she asked.

"Better than Bella's ever was," Leah remarked dryly.

Why had her mother had to fake being happy?

The question was forgotten the moment Charlie hugged her, telling her how much he loved her and how glad he was to have her there.

The rest of the reception actually was pretty fun. Though Alice had made good on her treat to send Seth after her when she didn't return for more pictures. Jasper had danced with her several times, always spinning and flipping her around until she giggled merrily. Grandpa Charlie, Grandpa Carlisle, Uncle Emmett, Seth, and even Quil had danced with her too.

At one point, Billy talked her into playing a few songs on the piano. And before the night was over, she gave him a recording of her playing that her Auntie Rose helped her make so he could hear her when she wasn't around.

The reception was still in full swing when her purse vibrated, the cellphone within ringing. Instinct told her it was Jacob, and she was pleased to be correct when she pulled it out to look.

"I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk," he said immediately. "I didn't even see you today."

"It's fine, Jacob. I'm sure being back was difficult. Papa told me, and I saw Embry's mom there. Have you talked to her at all since the funeral?"

Leah's rebuke from earlier had her determined not to make him feel guilty about how tonight had played out.

"No. I tried a couple times, but now that she knows everything, she doesn't want anything to do with us. It was pretty shocking that she even came today. Sam's trying to talk her into staying in La Push, but I think she's planning on moving back to the Makah reservation," he explained.

"Does she still have family there?"

"A brother. Quil said she's just waiting until she can find a new job up there. He doesn't really know much more - she's shunned him too," Jake said, choking up on the words.

"Love you, Jake. Take care of yourself and visit when you can," she said, hanging up first this time. He was about to lose it, and he wouldn't want her hearing it. He was too proud for that. And she was a reminder that would only make it worse.

February

Boredom inspired her to seek out any form of entertainment available. In this case, it was accompanying Bella when she went to visit Kate and practice shielding others.

The practice didn't make sense to Mae. Bella diligently prepared for a fight she insisted would never happen. So what was the point of training so frequently?

Oh well.

Really, she joined Bella because she was seeking Leah. Her… Aunt… had intrigued her at the wedding just over a month ago, and she wanted to get to know her better. She was Jacob's second. Maybe she'd have some insight on how he was doing. Particularly since she hadn't heard from him herself, except for the brief call she'd given him on his birthday.

"You busy?" Mae asked, wondering over to where Leah was sprawled across the couch. None of the other vampires were around, and Kate and Garrett were out back with Bella.

"Studying. Why?" she asked, eyeing Mae over the top of her book. She looked puzzled by the unexpected visit.

"Is it interesting?"

"No. Why are you really here?" Leah asked bluntly, calling Mae out.

"I thought maybe he'd call more after the wedding," Mae admitted.

"He's a guy. If you want to talk, you can always call him. Texting works too - much quicker and easier to respond to."

"He's got a lot going on. I don't want to interrupt."

"Chicken," Leah accused. Mae bit her tongue to keep from denying it and making herself sound like a petulant child. Leah rolled her eyes. "So dramatic."

"And you weren't? Jake told me stories about how you picked fights with everyone after you shifted for the first time," Mae snapped, feeling a flare of temper take hold that she couldn't suppress. She hadn't meant to bring up what was probably a difficult time for the other woman - why else would she have been picking fights - but the taunt provoked her irrationally.

"So you do have a backbone, after all," Leah said, closing her book and looking closer at Mae. A slow smile curled her lips and she nodded. Somehow she felt that she'd just gained Leah's approval - for what, she had no idea.

"He never said why you were so angry," Mae asked, curious about the only female wolf. What was that like for her? Was she lonely too? Was that why she'd been so happy to move here? Was that why she'd stayed that first year then returned after the fight with the Volturi?

"Sam left me for my cousin - Emily," Leah said frankly, not sugar coating the truth. It was refreshing.

"Oh. I'd be angry too," Mae said. "Like fighting mad, angry."

"Would you? Bit possessive? Aren't we all," Leah said snippily, making Mae laugh. Leah treated her the way Rosalie treated Bella, not like she'd known her since she was a baby. It reminded Mae of her time at La Push with Jake.

"What's it like being the only female wolf?"

"You want the short of it, or the nitty gritty?"

"Tell me everything," Mae demanded.

"You asked for it," Leah smirked, shaking her head a little.

After that, Mae always accompanied Bella to the Denali house, eager to spend time with Leah. And it was Leah that took Mae to La Push a couple weeks later to visit Billy and meet his new grandson, Thomas.

May

For the second time in less than a year, the entire family descended on Forks. Seth's graduation was the next day, and Alice had insisted on a party, saying, "My parties are always exciting and eventful." Bella had snorted at that, and the rest of the family had shared looks like it was a private joke no one was in a hurry to let her in on.

The day after his graduation, the family was taking Seth's belongings with them as he officially moved into the main house in Fairbanks with Alice. He was beyond ready to commit to Alice completely.

Mae hadn't seen her aunt in two months, and missed her. It'd be nice to have her close again, and Seth was always welcome. His endless happiness and optimism reminded her of Jacob. Like having a piece of her friend back.

Currently though, Mae was eavesdropping on Alice and Seth's fight. She figured it was her right since they were fighting about Jacob, and he was hers.

"I can't believe he's not coming," Alice hissed angrily.

"It's fine, pixie. I told him not to," Seth said, unmistakable sadness lacing his voice.

"But after everything we've been through. Tomorrow is a huge day for you. He should be here to share it," Alice insisted, stomping her foot. The sound of cracking cement flared out of the garage where they were.

"There are going to be a lot of big moments in my very long life. He'll have time to be part of more than he won't. I can give him a pass for now," Seth said, muffled, like he was speaking against Alice's neck. He'd barely had his hands off her since they'd arrived so he probably was.

Esme had said that would stop in time, but Bella and Jasper seemed to suffer from the same problem, and that hadn't ever let up. It was rare indeed for them to not at least be touching in some way when both were in the house - like magnets drawn together. It took force to separate them, and no such force existed to part Bella and Jazz.

"So you just plan on him skipping the next few years then sliding back into your life like nothing happened?"

Years? They thought it would be years before Jacob came back around? Distress wrapped constricting steel arms around her.

"He has to come to terms in his own way, learn to process what happened and accept it," Seth insisted. "It was worse for him than the rest of us."

"He needs to figure out he has people that care about him and want to help," Alice refuted, and Mae had to stop herself from announcing that she was one of those that wanted to help him.

"He doesn't though. Not like this," he said, following the words with a muffling smacking and sucking sound. Mae assumed they were kissing. "That's the difference."

Jacob was alone. Because she wasn't what he needed. He'd made that clear. And she couldn't be that for him. Seth was right.

July

Leah had been on her case for weeks now about talking to Edward. She'd even asked how Mae would feel if Leah ever dated Edward. That had been awkward. Her aunt had feelings for her dad. Mae hadn't seen that one coming, and honestly couldn't picture it. But then, she barely knew Edward and had never seen the two together.

Leah had admitted she didn't know if Edward would even want to after learning her stipulations, but seeing Alice and Seth making it work had prompted her to at least test the waters. She didn't want to if it was going to make things worse for Mae and Edward's already strained relationship. Hence the nudges - more like cattle prodding - to talk to him. She wanted them to repair things before she made any definite decisions.

"Hi, dad," Mae greeted her dad when her phone rang that day, answering his call for the first time.

"Renesmee?" he breathed, stunned.

"Did you think it'd be someone else?" Mae asked, amused despite herself.

"No - I just… I'm glad you finally took my call," he said carefully, afraid almost. She regretted waiting so long. She just hadn't believed he'd keep his word. But here it was, over a year later, and he still called every day in the hopes of finally talking to her.

"I don't hate you," she said immediately. Because she didn't. She'd just been so unbelievably hurt.

"That's good to know. I understand that you're angry with me. I broke my promise," he said, accepting full blame.

"You left me. Again," she acknowledged, unable to help saying it aloud. It wasn't meant to intentionally hurt him, just breathe life into the pain she'd endured by his absence like creating a golem.

"I did it for you," he offered, a small consultation.

"But I'm all alone," Mae whispered.

"It can be hard," Edward said, understanding at once what she meant. Either her parents had told him, or she took after her dad. The assumption was confirmed when he continued, "surrounded by so many happy couples."

"How did you do it?"

"Well, I wasn't very good at it. I'm sure everyone there will agree," he said ruefully. She wasn't very good at it either.

"Guess I take after you, huh?"

A soft chuckle sounded through the line and she could picture him smiling.

"I focused on other pursuits. Music mainly," he told her, reminding her of their shared passion.

"Billy loves it when I play for him. We're going to visit him in a few weeks." They were going to spend the last week of summer there before Bella and Jasper started school again. She was relieved to know she was welcome on the rez again, even without Jacob.

"I'm sure he will like that. He's probably missing you," Edward said quietly.

"Are you? Missing me?"

"Every day," he said immediately, voice thick.

"I'm sorry, dad. Will you tell me what you've been doing with the Volturi?"

They talked for a while, and she felt the way the conversation healed the edges of the wound his abandonment had given her.

Next year would be better. It had to be.