You tried to go on with your life like normal, going to school, doing your homework when you got home, hanging out with your friends, staying up late watching movies, anything to distract you. Anything to keep your mind off of that circus boy. Especially on long, lonely nights where you had plenty of time to think to yourself, he seemed to creep in every dark corner of your mind, mostly just taunting you, about how easily he fooled you into feeling sorry for him. You could hear the sound of his maniacal laughter from the way Jim explained it, though you had trouble picturing it because he didn't seem capable of it in the slightest but despite your denial of it at first, it was true. You recalled the way his mother's body looked, how it was hacked and slashed in such a brutal, merciless manner. He could have done the same to you if he desired, and the thought of it was enough to keep you awake all night, unable to find sleep no matter how much you needed it. You didn't know how you could have been so blind. You gathered whatever you could from the reports on the ginger, as much as they hurt you when you read each one describing how much he was sick of his mother's constant pestering and bitching, and how he would have done it again and again if he could. She sounded nothing like the woman he described.

The logical way to handle this would have been blaming yourself for having gotten so close to him on that day, wishing that you wouldn't have stuck your nose in his business, that you didn't comfort him. He was a remorseless killer. Yet, the longer you were away from him, the more you yearned to see him again. He had a hold on you, one that you didn't think you would be able to shake, and you weren't even sure if you wanted to. The thought of him consumed you whole, until there wasn't room for anything else, and you fought it for as long as you could until you finally learned to accept it, to allow him to torment you. More times than you could count, you were tempted to see him back at Arkham, so that maybe he could explain his side of the story to you, maybe there was more to it, maybe she pushed him to that breaking point-

No, you weren't going there. You were not going to make any excuses for a murderer. You couldn't go to Arkham to see him, because if Jim had found out that you did-

No, you couldn't go because of who he was, how he lied to you again and again, how he manipulated you into feeling sympathy for him with those crocodile tears. You wanted to see him the way you viewed all criminals in Gotham, the scum of the earth, and you were sure that the ginger fit that category, but the problem was admitting that to yourself. He was no different from them. You just had to keep reminding yourself that he was a psychopathic killer, to embed it into your brain that he could have done the same to you or your father. But he didn't. That was something that continually popped up in your mind. He didn't. Maybe there was a reason for that.

You felt something with him, something you couldn't seem to describe, something that you didn't ever feel with anyone else. The worst part of this all was the deep, wrenching pull of lust in the pit of your stomach that persisted without restraint. For some strange reason, you wanted him. You didn't understand why, but you did. There was more to him than just a pretty face, and you were intrigued by him, by the way he spoke to you, his lingering touch, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, there was an undeniable spark between you two, or at least that was what you thought anyway. You were convinced that everything he told you was a lie, so you were just fantasizing about the idea of him that you made up in your head, and you didn't know who that was exactly but what you did know was that you wanted to learn more about the person Jim interrogated, the side he didn't unveil to you.

Jim and Leslie never dared to mention his name, though you couldn't help but get the feeling that they were breathing down your neck. Because of the incident at the circus, they were spending every possible second they could with you whenever they came home from work, it was becoming a little overbearing but you figured that was a normal reaction when you had been so close to a killer just days before. You weren't going to complain though, you caused enough trouble by getting involved with him in the first place.

Time seemed to move very slowly, even though you were keeping yourself busy with anything that served to be a distraction, still it wasn't enough. Nothing was. Not when that circus boy was still haunting you. Fortunately no one could tell something was bothering you because you always forced a smile on your face, but at night the mask fell off, and you started to wonder if it was possible to move on your life without just seeing him one more time. As much as you tried to erase the image of him from your mind, it didn't work. It was starting to feel like he would always be there, and he wasn't going to ever leave. You were practically at his mercy finding ways out of this disturbance of yours.

Your friends were staying over one night, and you were all having a sleepover because Jim preferred it when you stayed in at this time of the day. They were talking about their usual everyday problems when something else came up. Something you preferred that you didn't hear.

"Did you hear about that circus boy who killed his mother?"

"Yeah I did! The criminals in this city are getting worse, it's like you can't trust anybody."

"I know! He was so gorgeous, too. I guess the new thing is to look out for the cute boys in this city."

You remained silent, looking through a magazine to see if you could distract him with another one of those silly quizzes.

"Hey, you went to Haly's Circus with Mr. Gordon, right? That was where the murder took place. Did you meet him?" one of them asked far more enthusiastically than she should have. "His name was Jerome."

"He wasn't in the big show, so no, not that I recall," you lied, continuing to flip through the pages of the magazine.

"That's a shame. He looks like the kind of guy who would sneak off with you and take you behind the bushes!" she giggled, sighing dreamily, and your other friend nudged her in the elbow for not taking the situation seriously. "What? I'm just trying to make light of the situation!"

"Are you sure you didn't see him? Jim obviously did, and you were with him the whole night," the other added.

"No I didn't, can we please stop talking about him?" you objected, rolling your eyes in annoyance when they didn't notice.

"Well it's really scary. He's around our age, someone who we could potentially go to school with, and you went to that exact circus the day someone was murdered, it is a big deal. The news reports said that he killed his mother because she was a nagging bitch," she explained as she scooted closer to your side on the floor.

"He's crazy, a psychopath, a killer. That's why he was sent to Arkham. I really don't want to talk about this before bed, okay? Please drop it," you pleaded, and your friends were stunned for a moment on the sharp tone of your voice.

"Fine, subject dropped. Don't know why it's so touchy," she said, the one who had been making a complete joke of this issue.

The rest of the night was a little awkward after you all did a couple more quizzes in the magazines and gossiped some about what was happening in your school. When they left you were relieved because the last thing you wanted to talk about was the ginger, especially to people who didn't seem to understand, and they had only reminded you of him and everything you had been trying to avoid.

When you walked with them to leave, Leslie saw your scowl from across the room before you slammed the door.

"Something the matter?" she asked with a raise of her eyebrows, a soft frown on her face.

"No not really," you answered back, but she clearly could tell that wasn't the case, she was a doctor after all.

"I kind of overheard what happened," she admitted, running a hand through her hair before she crossed her arms.

"You did?" you asked, emitting a drawn-out sigh afterwards.

"You can talk to me, you know, about what happened. I thought you might have needed some time so I haven't mentioned it, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you, as your mom, not a doctor if that's what you want," she assured with a tender, motherly smile.

You stood silent before you returned one her way, though it died quickly as you simply nodded your head. "I'm still upset with myself for not seeing it. That's all."

"No one blames you for that, you did what you thought was best, and we're just glad you're alright, that he didn't hurt you," she said, walking over to hold your face to her chest as she hugged you close. You were thankful for the hug because she couldn't see the way your face twisted into a frown. You were feeling a mix of emotions, ones that mostly didn't make sense. You still couldn't piece together why you were more angry with yourself than him, when you were the victim here. It was strange to miss someone who you only knew based on a lie, and all you could think about was how the last thing he said to you was that you two would see each other again, you wondered if that was a lie too. You hoped it wasn't.

"I think the doctor side to you came out when you were with him, you thought you could help, make things better if he had you to talk to," she started as she ran her hands through your hair, stroking it with gentle fingers. You weren't even listening to anything she was saying, it was all going in one ear out the other, because all you could think about was him. You realized you weren't truly upset with him, as long as it meant that he would live up to his promise and find a way back to you. As crazy as that sounded. You started not to care about what he did, you just wanted to see him again.

"Maybe," you added with a slight shrug of your shoulders before you told her, "I just know that I caused some trouble for you and dad, and I really didn't mean to."

"Hey, don't go there with me, okay? I won't allow it," she scolded in that motherly voice of hers as she cradled the back of your head, making you face her now. "You didn't cause any trouble. You were trying to help. It's not your fault, he had us all fooled," she disagreed, leaning in to peck the crease in your forehead. "Okay?" she repeated.

"Okay," you answered with a tight-lipped smile.

"Good, it's settled then," she replied before embracing you once more. Shortly afterwards you two stood up late just watching movies together, and somewhere in the midst of it you forgot your troubles during those silly comedies until you both fell asleep.

The next afternoon when you came home from school, you found yourself flipping through channels on the TV in your boredom, wanting a distraction from those dreadful upcoming exams you had to study for. When you finally settled on a channel, then came on the news.

"Breaking news! There has been a breakout at Arkham Asylum where six inmates escaped. Their whereabouts are not known yet, but the police are doing everything they can to track them down. We do not have the name of the culprit who broke them out, but the staff at the asylum was assailed with sleeping gas," the newswoman stated, and your eyes widened as you listened on to what she was saying.

"If you have any information concerning the six inmates, contact the GCPD immediately," she added with a deadpan expression as the mugshots of the inmates started to appear on the screen, "The following inmates' names are: Robert Greenwood, Arnold Dobkins, Barbara Kean, Aaron Helzinger, Richard Sionis, and Jerome Valeska."

Jerome Valeska. That was the only name you heard. He got out.