Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!

The theme songs for this chapter are Stay by Hurts and Say Anything by Ashley Nite.

PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(

Ch 7: Wounded - Mae

Year 4 - 2009-2010

August

She was approximately seventeen now, according to Carlisle. The same age Bella was when she met Edward. Time was back to crawling now that all of her trips were done and over with. At least she had Quil's wedding to look forward to. If she ended up similar to Nahuel's sisters, she'd reach around twenty-three and stop aging when she was six. Hybrid girls apparently mature faster than hybrid boys, the same as humans did. She'd end up looking older than all of her family, with the exception of Esme, and be the same age as Carlisle.

She'd begged her Auntie Rose to help her get ready for the wedding. Alice had jumped at the chance to help as well. They had her seated at the upstairs vanity that they informed her was the same place they helped Bella get ready before she married Edward.

The whole family was staying at the Cullen house today and tomorrow for the event. Quil had insisted they be allowed to attend, and Sam, surprisingly, hadn't fought him on the matter. Alice let slip that it was because of Mae, but she refused to explain why. She hadn't seen many of the people in months, some even longer, and she wanted to dazzle them all the way the others in her family undoubtedly would.

Plus, she'd been toying with the idea of having someone take a picture of her so that she could send it to Nahuel. He'd never seen her outside the jungle or wearing anything other than hiking gear. Maybe it would be fun to shock him a little with the difference in her appearance.

"I can't believe Quil is getting married," Mae gushed, thrilled for the wolf. He'd been good to her when she'd been younger. Always hanging out with her and Jake, and bringing Claire around so she could sort of make friends.

Kyra was almost four months pregnant now. They'd rushed to get everything ready in time so she hopefully wouldn't be showing too much yet. Absently, Mae wondered if she'd told the hospital where she'd just started work that she was having a baby, so she'd need time off not just for the honeymoon, but maternity leave as well in a few months. Particularly since Quil couldn't do everything since he still had two more years before he graduated college.

"Seth was pretty surprised as well," Alice admitted, nudging Mae's chin up further as she traced her low lids with eyeliner.

"Really?" Rosalie asked, though she sounded bored. Probably she was participating in the conversation to be polite. Seth, Jacob, and Leah were the only wolves she was truly willing to tolerate and put any effort into being civil towards.

"Not by Kyra, but he didn't think Quil would be the first to go down," Alice elaborated conspiratorially.

"It could have been you," Mae pointed out, knowing Seth would jump on the opportunity to tie himself to Alice with the traditional ceremony. Anything to amplify their bond and demonstrate its strength.

Rose's nails snagged on a curl, pulling slightly, and she carefully untangled her fingers before continuing to insert the floral hair comb. She'd arranged Mae's hair with a side part, and pulled the smaller section of waist-length, long hair back just above her ear before inserting the decorative metal near the crown of her head to hold the strands in place. The rest cascaded down her back in large, loose copper curls that flowed like a rippling liquid-metal waterfall.

"We don't need to rush," Alice said, smiling inwardly. She always glowed when discussing Seth, an inner light shone outwards for everyone to witness her joy, and the radiance he inspired.

"Now you sound like Bella," Rose huffed. Their forbearance of seeking human rituals and opportunities to be the center of attention baffled her. It wasn't a feeling she relished, and typically meant she'd write the person off as quickly as the realization occurred to her.

"She might be hopeless with this stuff, but she occasionally knows a thing or two," Aice said frankly, applying a shell pink lip gloss so pale it was nearly nude. Mae closed her lips and was relieved to find it wasn't as sticky as some of the glosses her aunts had given her. She hated when it got tacky or threatened to act like flypaper if she dared wear it outside.

"Only what we've drummed into her," Rosalie insisted.

"Momma really is averse, isn't she," Mae said lightly, not really understanding why Bella hated dresses and occasionally dressing up for special occasions. It wasn't like they happened more than a handful of times a year.

"You're not much better. This is the first time you've worn a dress in at least a year," Rose scolded. Mae opened her mouth to protest, but realized it was the truth. She clamped her mouth shut again, searching for a proper comeback.

"There's a time and place for such things - you taught me that," she finally said, leveling Rose with a lofty expression.

"So I did," she conceded, seeming to take the comment as flattery or praise for her efforts to mold Mae into what she deemed a proper young lady to be.

"I think you're ready," Alice announced, stepping back and scanning her face. Satisfied, she gave a single, sure nod. "A masterpiece to be sure."

"Take a look," Rosalie coaxed, coming around to her side, and pointing at the mirror.

Her eyes looked huge, popping from her perfectly symmetrical face thanks to the layers of ebony mascara coating lashes that framed the liquid-chocolate orbs. Alice hadn't gone overboard with the makeup, keeping it fairly neutral and soft. Just enough to enhance her already supernaturally flawless features.

The natural look complemented her forest green satin cocktail dress. It had halter style straps that tied around her neck, and left the majority of her back bare. The material gathered and crossed her chest to form an X that wrapped around her waist to gather at the back where the skirt was zipped. A knee length skirt was loose and flowing - comfortable for someone that didn't often wear a dress by choice.

"I look -"

"Just like Bella," Alice said, seeming a bit taken aback by the realization. They could be twins at this moment, both in age and appearance. Most of the family thought she resembled Edward the most. Only Jazz, and occasionally Edward, argued that she favored Bella more.

"Much prettier than Bella, thanks to Edward's contributions," Rosalie corrected, smiling warmly. It took alot for Rose to acknowledge anyone's loveliness, aside from her own, so Mae believed the compliment was sincere.

"Thanks," she said, grateful for their help.

For once, she actually looked like she belonged with the rest of her family. Same approximate age. Same alluring beauty. It'd be nice if they didn't all still think of her as the baby though.

The wedding was beautiful. Not that she paid any attention.

From the moment she looked at the front of the room, Mae's eyes were fixated on Jacob. The rest of the room, the rest of the world, ceased to exist. There was only him. It felt like she saw him for the very first time. He was gorgeous. Tall, muscular, wide shoulder, shiny black hair combed neatly back, but begging to be rumpled. Easy grin that radiated warmth and happiness.

Then there were the memories. All the times he'd been there for her. All the times he'd listened to her concerns, really listened. All the times he'd made her laugh until her sides ached with joy. All the phone calls and teasing banter, each time as if no time at all had passed. All of the times only he could make her smile. All the times she waited to hear from him, missing him every second between the ones they spoke. All the times something happened in her life and he was the first, the only, person she wished to share the occasion with.

She was unprepared for longing that came with the new awareness she had for the wolf. A desperate desire to speak to him, to share this new understanding. To touch him. She knew from her family what it was she felt. Desire. She wanted Jacob. She longed to kiss him, hold him, be with him. Hormones raced through her body, an overwhelming flood frying her systems.

Thanks to Alice, she'd seen a dozen movies that all revolved around the first, romantic kiss a couple shared. They were at a wedding. What could be more romantic? It was the perfect setting. She could walk right up to him after the ceremony was over. He'd see the changes in her, realized he missed her too, cup her face, and press his lips to hers. It'd be perfect. Epic.

Jacob was hers. He'd always been hers. The way Jazz was Bella's, and Seth was Alice's. That was how it was always supposed to be. She just hadn't been ready to see it before. Everything made sense now. She made sense. He brought her clarity - on everything.

Spiralling. Her reaction to Jacob had her in a tailspin. It was hard to breathe. Her heart was pounding, screaming in her ears as it thrummed so fast it seemed to form a single, unending cacophony. Black spots formed in her vision, and she realized she was unconsciously holding her breath.

Jasper took her hand at that moment, squeezing it lightly, but not giving her reaction to the wolf away. Not that the rest of the family hadn't heard the way her body betrayed her. There were no secrets among vampires. Peaceful serenity flowed over her, allowing her to suck in a mouthful of air. One. Two. Three mouthfuls. Then she didn't have to think about it anymore. The even, steady breaths came naturally thanks to her papa's help.

The entire time she was having her epiphany, Jacob remained oblivious. He was too focused on the vows being exchanged and watching his best friend marry the woman he loved. Mae was grateful for the opportunity to drink him in at her leisure. To admire his sun-kissed bronze skin, the coiled strength contained within him, yet still undeniably visible in his solid, muscular build. She could search the world over for millennia and not find his equal. Certainly not another with their shared history. She'd been blind before today. He was the sun, and she was seeing it for the first time. The world on a cloudless day at high noon.

When the ceremony ended, Mae caught sight of Edward when they stood to watch the newlyweds walk back down the aisle. He looked tortured, devastated. Yet oddly resigned. Instantly, she felt guilty that he'd had a front row seat to his baby girl growing up and really discovering men, well, a man, for the first time.

Immediately, Mae begged off to use the restroom, needing a moment of privacy before she faced the inevitable questions from her family. And for actually speaking to Jake in person for the first time in years. Mentally, she braced herself, wondering if he'd feel the same. Anticipation thrummed through her, alighting her. A glance in the bathroom mirror relieved that a rosy hue had bloomed in her cheeks, and a keyed-up energy filled her eyes.

Once she entered the area designated for the reception, just behind the building where the wedding had taken place, she watched Jazz whispering to Bella. From her mama's open expression, Mae knew Bella was vaguely alarmed by hearing about the profound reaction her daughter had just experienced.

Not wanting to wait, she scanned the room for Jake, anxious for their reunion. Would it happen the way she'd envisioned it going? She didn't immediately see him, but she did spot the rest of her family. Just in time to witness Edward and Sam briefly clash.

A tense moment passed when Edward stopped Sam from talking to Leah. He was already on edge from listening to Mae's thoughts throughout the wedding, but something about the idea of Leah speaking to her ex sent him over the edge just a smidge. Her father's territorial behavior was precisely why Mae was determined never to get involved with a vampire. Of course that was before she realized Jacob was the true reason no other would do.

The very idea that she'd ever even remotely considered a future with Nahuel seemed laughable suddenly. He was a friend. Nothing more. If there was something more between them, surely she'd have been able to look away from Jacob. She hadn't even wanted to try to tear her eyes away.

"You look pretty," a small voice said from close by. The familiar softness, clearer than she remembered it being, the words more articulate, had Mae turning to find Claire.

She wore a floor-length chiffon gown in dusty rose with asymmetrical layers of the gauzy fabric. Sleeves looped down around her arms, exposing her bare shoulders, and reminding Mae just a little of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.

"Hello, Claire. Thank you. I like your dress," she said, noting the way Claire continually twisted, making her skirt flair and swirl about her legs like she was dancing.

"Key-raw let me pick it out," she said, over pronouncing the woman's name. "I'm going to get married a dozen times when I grew up," she announced, spinning in a circle with her hands clasped to her chest.

"It's like that, huh? Poor guys," Mae couldn't resist saying. The girl intended to be a maneater.

"I want them all to treat me like a princess, and give me whatever I want," Claire said boldly, her youth resulting in a distinct lack of filter for her thoughts, and a serious absence of morales.

The discrepancy between them was more pronounced than ever. The six-year-old was still very much a spoiled child with simple desires. Strange to think they'd been sort of friends only a few years earlier.

"Oh, geez, girl. Good luck with that," Mae said, failing to suppress a chuckle. It was echoed from directly behind her.

She spun to find Jacob less than three feet away. She'd stopped looking for him the instant Claire spoke, and the suddenness of his appearance left her unsure about what to say. It'd been years since they last saw one another. Would it be awkward or would they pick up where they left off the way they always seemed to on the phone?

"Jacob," she whispered, unable to find her voice again once his name escaped her startled lips.

His smile was the first thing she noticed. It was so inviting, friendly and… warm. There was no other way to describe it. His grin was like experiencing a sunny, summer day at the beach.

Then she noticed the beautiful woman at his side. Jacob's arm was slung low around her waist, his hand settled comfortably on her hip conveying a familiarity that Mae didn't want to contemplate.

Glamorous was the only way to describe the woman pinned to Jacob's side. She could have just stepped off a New York runway. Her regal posture projected an air of sophistication that reminded Mae of Rosalie. Her waist looked impossibly tiny, and only managed to make her breasts seem even larger in the sheath dress that showcased her every asset. A riot of tight curls were pinned utop her head in an artful updo with several individual tight, tiny spirals hanging down in various places. They framed her unusually bright eyes. Extraordinary eyes the exact color of a lake she visited in New Zealand.

Inferior. Everything about the woman left Mae feeling small and insignificant. It momentarily unsettled her. Then confusion set in when she realized Jacob still had not spoken.

"You even going to say hello?" she finally demanded. He'd approached her, after all.

"Ness?" he asked, grin fading, giving way to confusion of his own. He looked from her to where Claire had wandered off to, and back again. Wait, did he seriously not recognize her? Had he not been seaking her out?

"It's been a long time, Jake. I grew up," she finally said, unaccountably hurt by his reaction.

"I'll say," he said, frowning. He looked… angry? But why?

"Babe, don't be rude," the woman scolded, playfully smacking his chest. Then she extended the perfectly manicured hand out to Mae. "Hi, I'm Natalie," she offered, breezily.

"Oh, sorry, Nat. This is Renemsee… she's related to Bella," Jacob said, seeming to find his voice, though he stumbled through the explanation of who she was. Jacob pointed to where Bella stood talking to Charlie. Her momma grabbed grandpa's hand to stop him when he lifted it to tug uncomfortably on the collar of his shirt, the tie resembling a noose after all of his previous tugging.

"And she is?" Natalie, Nat, asked skeptically, looking back at Jacob and giving him a look that suggested she knew he was leaving part of the story out. If she only knew. Although Mae still didn't know everything either, so she was hardly one to talk.

"Old family friend - we used to make mud pies together while our dads went fishing," he said, glossing over the true depth of their connection. Or was that really how Jacob saw her family now? As part of his past, and hardly worth mentioning - friends due to circumstance, not choice.

It was a punch to the gut, and she was grateful they seemed content to ignore her for the moment. She needed the time to compose herself.

"Aw, I see. It's like that," Nat said, visibly relaxing, seeming to almost sink into Jake's side.

"She's with that guy," he added, nodding to where Jasper was watching their conversation proceed with piercing, attentive eyes.

Silently, she willed her papa to relax. She was fine. It wasn't like she planned to make a scene or actually tell Jacob about how she'd spent twenty minutes imagining kissing him instead of paying attention to Quil and Kyra. They'd been apart for so long now, and Jacob seemed to be here with someone else.

It changed everything. Again.

"You certainly know some beautiful people," Nat murmured, looking around at the assembled vampires and wolves. They were a rather extraordinary bunch.

"I know," Jacob declared, fixing his eyes on Natalie until she caught his double meaning.

"Flatterer," she said, shaking her head slightly, though she leaned up on the toes of her heels to kiss him softly. Jacob pulled immediately back, but Nat's lips followed him, deliberately prolonged the kiss, briefly slipping her tongue into Jacob's mouth before he jerked farther away, breaking their connection. The action was another punch to the gut for Mae. It was like rubbernecking to continue watching a trainwreck, horrific, tragic, but captivating in its brutality. "Sorry, we must seem so overly demonstrative and ostentatious. New love and weddings and all that, you know?"

"Sure," Mae said, the single word coming out fake and hollow. Brittle as spun sugar. Not to mention a flat out lie - she didn't actually have any experience to draw from.

"Did you bring a date?" Natalie asked, attempting to be kind and get to know someone from Jake's life.

"No," she admitted quietly, unable to mask her distress over the fact. It would be so nice to have someone herself, anyone to occupy her and make this moment hurt less.

"Jake! Don't be rude, ask her to dance then. My feet are killing me, and I could use a break," she announced, nudging Jacob towards Mae.

Of course they were. Those heels had to be five inches tall. She was practically as tall as Jacob. And all slender legs.

"Sure, sure. Have a seat, and I'll find you in a bit, Babe," he agreed, kissing her again before looking back at Mae. "Shall we?"

What else could she say? "Of course."

Once they reached the dance floor, she looped her arms around his neck, and shivered when his warm hands rested on the dip of her slender waist, directly against the skin exposed in her dress. Jacob sucked in a sharp breath when he touched her, and Mae shivered involuntarily for a second time at the way his hand felt like a brand marking her as his. Together, they swayed gently, not really dancing, not like how her family did, but how the newer generations did and how several other couples nearby were dancing.

"So that's Natalie… she's pretty," Mae said, trying to sound casual, and pretending she had some clue before now that Jacob was seriously seeing someone.

"Don't I know it," he said, releasing a single incredulous bark of laughter. Then his attention was focused on her. "I barely recognize you."

"Jake… " Mae breathed, feeling like she was drowning in his eyes. Unconsciously, she leaned forward, desiring the kiss she'd fantasized about.

It finally made sense why it hurt so much when he didn't seek comfort from her after Embry's death. When he didn't turn to her the way the others in her family turned to their partners. Mae loved Jacob. The feeling was always there, but today it was deepening, expanding.

It wasn't just lust either. She could tell. Jacob made her feel alive simply by looking at her or being near. Not the way Nahuel had when he'd tempted her to behave recklessly, and be a little wild. Jacob didn't need incentives to ignite her.

The love she felt had just been tiny embers, left too long untended, but they still glowed. Would glow eternally. Then today happened. A soft breath exhaled, unintentionally stirring them, feeding them. They'd been getting hotter all day, gaining more fuel by the second.

She saw it. The moment he became aware of what she'd just discovered about herself. He jerked back, stumbling three steps away to put distance between them. His fingers seared her skin where they departed too quickly, robbing her of the ability to ever feel warmth in those places again. And the way he looked at her? Betrayal. Like she'd done something unspeakable. Something they couldn't come back from.

Jacob spoke, and she felt herself reply, but the words never actually penetrated the hazy fog surrounding her brain.

Jasper pulled her into his arms before Jacob was even off the dance floor. His love and understanding buffered her, blocking the worst of the feelings of rejection, and allowing her to maintain her composure when surrounded by nearly a hundred people.

Mae knew with absolute certainty that Jacob hadn't intentionally hurt her. She'd just caught him off guard, and he wasn't prepared to defuse her sudden revelation and bombardment of emotional baggage. Not while his date waited for him at a nearby table.

"I was never supposed to fall for him, was I?" she whispered, resting her cheek against Jazz's chest as they swayed, his gift and solid support preventing her from truly feeling like she'd just experienced her first heartbreak.

"In all my years, I've learned that it's nearly impossible to control your emotions when it comes to who you love," Jazz said quietly, trying not to draw the attention of the rest of her family.

"He doesn't feel the same," Mae lamented. After watching her family so in love, she longed to experience the same.

"Not right now, no. Not the way you want him to. And you definitely unsettled him tonight," he admitted. "He might never feel that way. But someday, he might. You never know," Jasper said sagely, unwilling to get her hopes up without also being pragmatic about the reality of the situation. The response was so like him.

"Forever is a long time," Mae said, contemplating what this meant for her. Mae used her gift to show Jazz a series of images all indicating and radiating a sense of time passing, and the subject changing so much it barely resembled what it started as.

"It is," he agreed, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. "A lot can happen, you're right. There's no need to rush," he added, though he knew better than most how anxious she was to find love. "I don't want to hurt you, or make presumptions, but, poppet, I really don't think you're ready for what you're wanting with Jacob. Not yet."

"But -"

"You're just like your mother," Jazz interjected softly.

"What do you mean?" Mae asked, curious now.

"Bella let herself get consumed until her entire life revolved around Edward and she needed him to be happy," Jazz said, lowering his voice even more. No one ever told her about her parents before she came along. Hearing about them now, further took her mind off of Jacob's rejection.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. She loved him," Mae pointed out.

"She didn't entirely know herself yet. It meant there were times, not often but more often than it should have happened, that she got too swept up and her voice was lost, because she didn't know her own mind well enough to advocate for herself. But more than that, she didn't know how to be happy without him. Her joy was entirely contingent on him," Jazz explained.

"What changed for her?"

"She found other sources of joy to balance her life - being a Cullen, a vampire, your mother," he said, emphasizing the last.

"She found you, and you encourage those other pursuits," Mae said, recognizing how Bella seemed to be more engaged than the other Cullens. There were times Mae saw them sitting, staring into space for hours at a time, obviously bored. Carlisle, with his work at the hospital, was the only other one not prone to impersonating a statue.

Bella divided her day among the various things she enjoyed, and honestly seemed the happiest in her family. Although, after Seth joined them, Mae didn't really see Alice enough to judge if she'd changed on a more regular basis. She suspected Alice could rival Bella now, though she'd been the most sullen before Seth joined them permanently.

Edward was far more selfish than Jasper. He likely wanted to keep all of Bella's attention on him. It was an unkind, though no less true, analysis of her father. Hopefully, he was properly distracted and the thought had gone unheard.

"I don't want you to only experience happiness because of Jacob. You have to discover what else can make you happy before you go down that path."

"Maybe," she allowed, still off balance by the intensity of the reaction he'd inspired in her. Perhaps that alone was proof to support Jazz's conclusion. "Assuming he's even ever willing."

"I wouldn't give up hope yet, but I do suggest you put thoughts of him aside for now, and enjoy the journey in the meantime," Jazz suggested, bending to kiss the top of her head.

They danced for two more songs, Jasper letting her think over their conversation in peace while he subtly diffused the ache in her chest, helping her chip away at it slowly so the pain wouldn't rush back in the moment he stopped.

The timing wasn't right for her and Jacob. It might never be right. She'd seen the way he looked at Natalie. He wanted her. He could easily choose to stop phasing and live out his days with her. Or he might not.

Regardless, Mae couldn't just wait for something that may never come to pass. She'd have to live her own life. Figure out what made her happy. Figure out her own mind, away from the influence of her family. Possibly even see if there was another out there that could offer her at least a fraction as much potential happiness.

October

One day during fall break, Mae convinced Alice and Seth to go visit Leah with her. Bella and Jazz were spending a couple days away hunting, while she stayed at the main house, and Edward was in town with Carlisle, so Leah had called her. They hadn't spent much time just the two of them since Edward moved in with her after his stay in Italy. It'd be nice spending time with her friend instead of almost step-mom.

"Did Brady tell you about his new girlfriend?" Leah asked Seth, sneering a little as she said the word girlfriend.

"Yeah. She's from Forks, right?" Seth agreed, nodding, though he looked troubled by the news. "It won't end well. Mom said Sam ordered him to end it since she's not his imprint."

"Of course he did," she spat, shaking her head. She bit her lip, reluctant to make any concession where Sam was concerned, but after sighing, acknowledged, "But he's not entirely wrong. She lives too close to the rez. What if she puts the clues together and figures out the truth the way Bella did with Jacob? Not everyone would react the way she did."

"Momma figured out he was a wolf?" Mae asked as they sat gathered around a card table playing Phase 10. Mae loved how frustrated Alice got when she played against her or the wolves.

"Uh, yeah. We weren't allowed to tell anyone, but she already knew about vampires and our stories, so she put the pieces together," Seth explained.

"Of course she did. They were best friends. She had to have noticed," MAe said, watching Leah and Seth exchange looks at her words.

"Next round?" Alice suggested, shuffling the cards.

"Leah, will you tell me how Jacob and Momma came to be such good friends?" Mae said, knowing Leah was the most frank of the group, and the one least likely to deny her request.

It was a topic that had been plaguing her. Jake's comment about mud pies at Quil's wedding had struck her as odd at the time, but even more so when she thought of it later. Others had mentioned Bella and Jacob were friends while she was human, but no one had ever really told the story of how that came to be. And somehow she doubted it included mud pies. Bella had spent the majority of her childhood in Phoenix with Grandma Renee, not in Forks. And with the animosity between the vampires and wolves, plus Bella's relationship with Edward - something didn't add up.

"Also how Momma and Papa ended up together," Mae added impulsively. It was another story she'd never heard.

Leah looked startled to be asked, then immediately reluctant. Mae watched as Leah looked to her brother for help.

"Oh, you are so on your own for this one. I don't want to piss anyone off," Seth said, holding his hands up, not even noticing how Alice took advantage to glance over his cards.

"Ditto. Edward already gives me a hard time for oversharing," Alice announced, laying down several cards and drawing a new one from the top of the deck. "I just ask that you keep in mind who you are telling," Alice requested, prompting Leah to get on with answering Mae.

"Whatever. It's not that big a deal now." With a heavy sigh, Leah asked, "You know Bella and Edward were together once upon a time, right?"

"Obviously," Mae said dryly, gesturing at herself.

"Well… " Leah paused, face scrunching as she looked at Alice.

"Not as easy as you thought?" Alice asked, nodding. Did something happen?

"I just don't know where to start," Leah said, clearly frustrated.

"Were Momma and Jacob friends before she met Dad?"

"Not really. He's a lot younger, and didn't go to the same school," she said, shrugging. Now Mae was more confused.

"Then why would she become friends with a wolf if she was dating a vampire?"

"Jacob wasn't a wolf yet," Leah said, face closing off. "They became friends before he shifted."

"So it's Momma's fault that Jacob became a wolf? Did she make him hang out with Edward?"

"No, it's no one's fault," Leah said, glancing away as she spoke. Obviously she did blame someone. Probably Mae's family. But she was no longer resentful of them, so she was letting it go. "Look, just let me tell you. Stop with the questions."

"Sorry," she muttered sheepishly, "go on."

"Jasper almost killed Bella when she was still human -"

"Papa would never hurt -"

"It was an accident, Mae. She got hurt unexpectedly, and the blood… " Alice interrupted, gently explaining. Her tiny face was scrunched mournfully. Mae could just imagine the guilt Jazz must have experienced after almost hurting Bella. Imagine how different things would be if he'd succeeded in killing her. The thought sent a cold chill down her spine.

"Oh," she said softly, nodding. She knew Jazz struggled the most. It was why he hunted twice as much as the others.

"Edward decided we should all leave to keep her safe - so she could live out a human life," Alice said, taking over for Leah. This part was about the Cullens, not the wolves anyways.

"But Momma… " Mae breathed, unable to imagine her taking getting left behind well. The family, and being one of them, was everything to her. Nothing else mattered as much.

It wasn't hard to believe Edward had taken off. She already knew that was what he did when things got tough. It was the rest of the family going along with his decision that threw her. Bella was one of them. Would they ever abandon Mae or was she safe because she couldn't live a human life?

"Didn't take it well, yeah," Seth agreed, wincing. His face was a mask of pain at whatever memory was playing through his head.

"And Jake picked up the pieces," Leah explained, pausing to glance meaningfully at Seth before she took a deep breath. "They got really close then," she added with heavy emphasis.

"You mean they… " Mae whispered, understanding. Was that why Jake had been horrified when confronted with her feelings? Was he still hung up on Bella? Did that mean their friendship was a lie or -

"More, they were friends that got off track because of several near death scenarios, and your dad's penchant for drama," Leah explained quickly. "It never really went anywhere, and was over before it started."

"After you came along things righted themselves, you know that," Alice said, watching Mae sadly. Thoughts cycloned through her mind, too fast to identify. No wonder no one had ever told her anything. Alice continued, elaborating when Mae failed to ask for more details herself. Honestly, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Ignorance is bliss, and all that. "Bella fell in love with Jazz, and Jacob imprinted. That was the real reason he and Bella got so close. So he could help her stay alive long enough to have you. Bella was a bit of a danger magnet back then."

"Jacob hasn't thought of her like that in years," Seth added, tapping his head to remind Mae that he knew from being in the pack mind. What did it matter if he did though? It wasn't like he thought of her that way either.

"Right. Of course not," Mae said absently, at a loss for words. She was floundering under the weight of the new information. It was like wading through cement. The implications dragged her down, trapping her in the sludge.

It would take a while to sort through what she'd learned, and decide what it meant for her. But she'd prefer privacy to do it in.

"I'm sorry I mentioned them," Leah muttered darkly. Probably worried about how Edward was going to react when he got back, or about telling Jake next time they phased together.

January

After the wedding, Jacob didn't call. Not that day. Not that week. Not that month. Or the next. Or the one after that. Not even for her birthday or Christmas that year. Not even when he sent her gifts of a crystal ball to use for her photography along with new lighting supplies for the two occasions.

All she got was a single text wishing her a happy birthday, and a promise that he would always be there for her if she needed it. The text was nice, but she was too embarrassed to reply to it at the time. The wedding, less than two weeks earlier, was too fresh in her mind.

With nothing else to occupy her time, she'd lost herself in art. It was better than dwelling on what she'd learned of her family's past. Ultimately, she'd come to the conclusion that obviously things had changed, and it didn't really matter anymore, because neither Bella nor Jacob had feelings for the other anymore. She had years of interactions to serve as proof. Their respective pasts didn't change how they felt about her, or changed the relationship she had with either of them.

Of course, it had taken her several months to come to this conclusion, but what really mattered was that she was there now. And she was at peace with it.

Art had helped her sort through it all. She was really progressing. Photography was incredible, but sometimes she wished to tell more of the story. Short, one or two minute films were her latest obsession. Edward had gotten her a new laptop and editing software so she could indulge and make them. Each one turned out better than the last.

She'd been working on this one since her visit to see Billy in November. In it, Thomas pretended to be a wolf while play-pouncing on Paul, who actually was in wolf form. Rachel and Billy sat off in the distance watching the two jump around. Working on it made her feel closer to Jacob, despite the strain in their relationship. She actually preferred this to really talking to him. It was easier, less fraught with tension and questions - particularly while she'd been sorting through all the new revelations.

It wasn't until Jake's birthday in January that they spoke again.

And only then because she called him.

She half expected him not to take her call. But he answered on the first ring, like he'd been waiting for it to happen. She'd sent him a copy of the finished short film.

"Thank you. I got it yesterday, and watched it on repeat all evening," Jacob said before even saying hello.

"Really?" Mae asked, surprised he'd liked it so much.

"There was a sense of inevitability about it. So much acceptance too. I wish I'd grown up viewing our ancestory that way - you captured it perfectly," he breathed, putting exactly what she'd been aiming for into words.

"I wrote the song that played in the background for it too," she admitted shyly. It was one of her first attempts at composing. Normally, she'd just play, letting the notes reflect her mood. This had been a deliberate effort on her part.

"It was beautiful," Jacob said sincerely.

"I'm not as good as my dad," Mae said, brushing off the praise. It reminded her of how she'd felt being with him at the wedding. She did not want to fall back into that bottomless well. She couldn't let herself get sucked down.

"You're well on your way. I found it very moving," he countered, threatening her composure.

"Leah's been tormenting him," Mae said, changing the subject.

"Do I want to ask?" he said, a husky chuckle escaping.

"Probably not. She thinks he's too uptight," Mae relayed, wondering how much of this he already knew from the pack mind.

"He is," Jacob agreed immediately.

She knew he didn't hate Edward, but he wasn't a fan either. And now she understood why. He'd be happily married to Bella, probably with a kid on the way like Quil if Edward hadn't come back into the picture. And Mae wouldn't even exist.

"Be grateful you're far away," she said with false lightness, determined not to dwell on all she'd learned.

"Be grateful you never have to be in her head," Jacob muttered, confirming her earlier thought.

"Quil's the one giving her ideas, isn't he?" Mae asked, knowing he was the most devious of Jake's pack.

"You guessed it," he said, laughing freely, and making her smile too. It was nice catching up. Easy to fall back into their usual patterns.

"Speaking of Leah, I don't have feelings for Bella - not anymore. I… I guess I just thought you should know," Jacob said uncomfortably. She didn't know why he'd felt the need to clarify that.

"I know," Mae said, believing him. It confirmed the conclusion she'd already come to on her own.

"Right. Good. Well, Nat's waiting, so I should go," Jacob said quietly, almost regretfully.

"Enjoy your birthday. Bye, Jacob," Mae said, hanging up.

February

Mae watched as Emmett danced around, arms raised over his head to intimidate the bear he'd deliberately provoked. Her uncle was her favorite to hunt with since Jacob left. He always put effort into making it entertaining. That took away some of the downsides of consuming a bland, unappealing meal.

Currently, the Northern lights were flashing green overhead. Mae tipped her head back, watching the dancing, shifting streaks rather than the predictable wrestling match. They were beautiful. She wondered if Jacob had ever seen them or if he'd ever want to.

It wasn't often she thought of him. Less than a handful of times since she'd processed everything, but he was on her mind today. Perhaps because she'd overheard Seth and Leah talking about how serious he and Natalie already were only a couple hours ago. Seth was convinced it was the real deal, the forever sort of love. Leah called her alpha a number of unflattering names, but stopped when Seth asked what would happen if Jake actually married her one day. Neither had an answer to that apparently, because neither commented.

It wasn't a future Mae wanted to consider, but it didn't hurt as much as she'd expected it to either.

"Yo, Mae! This is supposed to be fun," Em called, easily knocking the clawed hand away before it raked uselessly against his stone skin. "You're not even paying attention."

"It's not like I'll ever get to wrestle bears myself," Mae replied, adding in a disgruntled mutter, "I'm relegated to watching."

"Yeah, well… you could actually get hurt - unlike me, and you see Jasper… I mean - he'd literally kill me. Like seriously destroy and burn the pieces if I ever even considered," Em said, stumbling through a refusal, and honestly looking a little terrified. None of the family said no to her. Not that she ever really asked for anything, but it was interesting watching him make the attempt now. If it was anything else, anything without the very serious threat of her papa's wrath hanging over him, she doubted he'd deny her.

"It's okay, Uncle Em. I know I can't," she said, letting him off the hook.

"It was hard enough convincing him I'm trustworthy enough to take you hunting in the first place," Em grumbled, letting the bear take off, momentarily surrendering his prey as he came over to sit with her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Jazz is great, my favorite brother - don't tell your dad - but he struggles trusting anyone to protect you without being there to oversee them."

"He let Jacob take me to South America," Mae pointed out.

"Because it's Jake. You're his. Losing you would probably kill him," Emmett said with unusual seriousness.

"I don't understand. He's gone," Mae said quietly. Not saying what she really wanted to say, He didn't want me. It couldn't be that big a deal or he'd have stuck around. Em nodded absently, seeming to think about how to explain.

"You know how you're growing up super fast?" When she nodded, he continued. "Well, it's hard for him to keep up with, and juggle what you need from him when there are so many contradictions in place. It takes time for the heart, head, and reality to get on the same page, and that couldn't happen if he stayed here and watched it happen. His leaving was the only way he'd ever be able to see you differently - the way I know you want him to," Emmett said bluntly, laying it out there and smashing through her no fly zones like a bull in a china shop. It was right in line with his style of approach to problems.

She could try to deny it, but he'd fearlessly call her on the outright lie. The way he discussed Jacob's view of her reminded her of the conversation she'd once had with Embry.

"Embry once said I have power over Jacob. He was going to explain, but then he… "

"Yeah… " Emmett breathed, rubbing his face, then plowing on. He didn't linger in the past. That wasn't his way. "He was right. You do. It's the result of imprinting that no one has ever really explained to you. Your needs will always come first," he revealed, sharing more about imprinting in those few sentences than anyone else ever had before.

"I've seen Paul and Rachel together. They still fight and argue - a lot," Mae contradicted.

"I didn't say he'd just roll over for you. It's not blind obedience and devotion. But your safety and happiness are his top priorities," Em stated matter-of-factly. It made her feel better to think she wasn't controlling him, that he still had free will. That was part of why she wanted him to leave in the first place. The idea of him being a bound slave was revolting. She didn't ask for that or want it. He deserved to be free to make his own choices. Em made it sound like he could, which was a very good thing.

"Why did he imprint on me?"

"Do you remember when you two used to hang out a lot?"

"Of course," she replied immediately. He starred in all of her favorite memories. Days spent with Jacob were the happiest of her short life.

"It was always a blast. You understand each other, even now. Find a lot of the same things funny. Enjoy similar activities. You complement one another, always have," Emmett said, confirming what she'd always believed to be true. "Fate knew you'd get along, and that it wouldn't be a hardship to spend time together," he added, chuckling over a private thought that he didn't share even after he noted her inquiring glance.

"Thanks," she said, grateful he'd helped her see imprinting, or rather her and Jacob's imprinting in a new light. It seemed less constrictive and ill-fated now.

"I've never agreed with keeping things involving you so hush hush. I was glad Leah took one for the team and spilled about Bella and Jacob's past - not that it was ever really much more than misunderstandings and circumstance. Everyone's insistence on waiting until you're older is laughable - you're Bella's age already, and she was such an opinionated little thing. Why would you be any different? It's not that big a deal, but uh, don't tell Rosie. She won't admit she likes Jacob, even though she does, but she's still holding out hope that you'll fall for a vampire instead," he said, ruffling her hair.

"I don't -" Mae tried to deny, not wanting to talk about her secret hope of Jacob falling in love with her someday.

"Right," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and standing up. "That bear has probably gotten a good enough head start now. Race you?" he challenged, all traces of the seriousness from moments ago gone.

March

Mae was looking at the pictures Rachel had sent of Kyra with Quil Jr. Poor kid, getting stuck with that name too. The best picture was the one where the infant was tugging on one of Kyra's shoulder-length box braids, their startled expressions, complete with gaping mouths, perfectly matching. It was adorable.

She'd given birth a few weeks ago, but this was the first Mae had seen of the baby. Alice, Seth, Leah, and Bella were taking her to Forks for spring break. It'd be weird going without her fathers, but Emmett was taking the two out for an extended hunting trip - Cullen brothers only. Seth was invited too, but he'd declined, preferring to visit his mother.

"Hello?" she asked, distracted by the picture when her cell rang.

"How have you spent your day, Renesmee?" Nahuel asked formally. He hadn't entirely gotten the hang of using the phone yet.

Ever since her realization of her feelings for Jacob, it was harder for her to talk to Nahuel. It felt like she was trying to force herself to feel something she didn't - forcing herself to think of him romantically. It'd been easy to consider before the wedding, but now it seemed impossible.

"I… I have done nothing noteworthy at all. I can't even say I've done anything meaningful for months now," Mae said, taking inventory, and coming up lacking.

"Why do you remain where you are when you're so obviously miserable?" he asked. Nahuel was forever questioning her, pushing her to explore more - about herself and the world apart from her family. Sometimes the push was welcome.

Other times… not.

"I'm not going to abandon my family," Mae refused, the very idea of taking off without them chafing her raw and reminding her unpleasantly of when she'd been younger and forced to leave them. It also reminded her of when they'd left Bella behind. The thoughts were unwelcome to say the least.

"Is it wrong for you to desire a life of your own?" he asked calmly, reasonably. It only seemed to rile her up more.

"How would you know? You're every bit as sheltered as I am," she accused, disliking how high-handed he could come across at times.

"Perhaps. But at least I don't deny my basic nature," he said smoothly.

"You mean feeding from humans," she guessed. They'd had this conversation a few times now. It confounded her that he seemed unwilling to let it go. That he didn't understand her side.

"Why do you choose to abstain again?"

"It's wrong," Mae said sharply, the two words clipped, demanding he drop it. He didn't.

"It's not. It's what we are. You're not venomous. You could feed without killing if you're that hung up on the ethics of it all. Where is the harm in that?" His tone was so persuasive. Alluring.

The idea of drinking human blood instead of the bland animal blood she settled for made her mouth water. Only the knowledge of how disappointed her family would be in her kept her from thinking about it for more than two seconds.

"Not going to happen. Why do you keep asking?"

"Because… you have yet to make the decision for yourself. You still insist on allowing your family's opinions to make your decisions for you," he accused. It wasn't that. Not precisely. She just couldn't imagine doing anything that might result in them being disappointed in her. It was different… surely.

"You're wrong," she said, with a touch less conviction than her voice had previously held.

"One day you'll see for yourself," he said lightly, seeming ready to drop the subject for now.

"Any other suggestions on pursuits you think would be worthwhile for me to pursue?" she said, making it clear the conversation was over if he didn't come up with something else to suggest.

He chuckled, not deterred in the least. He was incorrigible. "There's always college - your family thrives on education."

Part of her recognized he was lightly mocking how they constantly repeated high school, but the words weren't edged in cutting barbs.

"That's actually not a bad suggestion," she said, thinking how that would go over with Bella. Her momma would probably want her to wait until she'd completely stopped aging before she started, but that'd mean approximately two more years of waiting. At least college would provide ample diversions, and give her a chance to live her life.

"Did you doubt I was capable?"

"I just didn't realize you'd be so apt at predicting what would interest me," she said, mildly surprised.

"Renesmee," he said seriously, emphasizing his next words, "we are friends."

April

"Mom? Papa - both Dads actually? I have to tell you something," Mae said cautiously.

She was seated at Esme's dining room table. Sitting there made the conversation she was about to have seem more formal. Perhaps they'd take her more seriously if she was seated at the head of the table when they came in. Bella was playing a complicated version of chess with Carlisle. Jazz was outside wrestling with Emmett. And Edward was playing piano for Esme.

They were enjoying some family time at the main house. It had seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk to all three at once since Edward rarely came by the home she shared with Bella and Jazz. Probably because of the history between the three.

The three filed into the room and were seated before she had a chance to blink. All right, moment of truth.

"Oh?" Jazz murmured, brow wrinkling at her nervous distress.

Instantly, the urge to fidget vanished and she relaxed, sitting up straighter and feeling more confident about sharing her plan. She smiled at Jasper in thanks for the discrete assistance. He winked conspiratorially. Eventually, everyone would need to be included in the preparations and move to Wyoming, but for now, this was a conversation she needed to have with her parents.

"Why there?" Edward asked, reading her mind and catching hold of her stray thoughts revealing her intentions.

"I applied to college - in Wyoming," Mae announced.

No one said anything, but Bella and Jasper exchanged knowing looks. They must have already discussed this possibility.

"I hate Alaska. I don't want to stay here - not a moment longer than I have to. And I got in. I lied - said I was homeschooled, forged some records, took a couple tests, and I got in. Please support me," Mae continued, holding her hands out, palms up. Bella immediately took one, and Edward took the other from his place across from Bella and Jazz.

She'd wanted everything in place so they'd not have any reason to refuse. She'd taken all of her family's preferences into account when choosing where to go so they could move close by, knowing how important that would be. This wasn't an either or situation. She didn't want to take off to grow up, she wanted them to grow with her, adapt and relearn how she fit into the dynamics of the family.

"I wish you'd just talked to us," Bella whispered, frowning slightly.

"We could have made it easier on you," Jazz agreed. "I could have acquired all of the necessary documents for you."

It was that moment that she truly relaxed - without Jazz's help. She was relieved they were not going to fight her on this decision. She could make friends, do things without the family. Figure out what she liked and hated. Form opinions without her family's influence - as Nahuel kept insisting she needed to learn how to do. Date, fall in love - a dozen times over if necessary. It'd probably take that to find a suitable replacement.

Edward frowned at that thought, looking deeply troubled and stricken. Mae ignored him, unwilling to discuss Jacob, or the many college guys she planned to audition for the role of boyfriend and possibly lover.

Aside from the conversation she'd had while dancing with Jasper and the one while hunting with Emmett, the subject of her feelings was closed. She would not, in any way, talk about Jacob with anyone in her family. Not even Seth or Leah. Perhaps even especially not with them since it would get back to Jacob. Things were what they were, and she was dealing. Let everyone think she'd moved on. That was her plan, and for the most part she already had, so she just wanted everyone to pretend she'd never reacted to Jake at all.

"Well now I know how to do it in case I ever need to again," she said dismissively, proud of all that she'd accomplished without their influence and help. "Wyoming is a good choice for us, isn't it?"

Bella subtly relaxed. Mae guessed she was worried that Mae hadn't intended them to come with her.

"Seth will need to transfer," Jasper mused, contemplating a list of necessary tasks required to be completed before they moved. "Or he and Alice could join us in a year."

"They'll want to come," Edward said knowingly. Probably he was reading their thoughts as they listened in from the other rooms in the house.

He looked pained, regretful.

"Edward?" Jasper prodded, tasting the mood his brother was projecting.

"This is your chance, Renesmee," he said softly, releasing Mae's hand to cup her cheek.

"You understand?" she asked, wondering if he wanted to disagree with her choice, but wasn't because Bella was already on board. He tried not to side against Bella with things regarding Mae. He understood that his actions made Bella the primary parent, and ultimately she had final say in how Mae was raised. He didn't go against Jazz either, for the same reasons likely.

Was it a form of self-punishment or because he heard the ins and outs of their sides first and actually agreed?

"Typically the latter, occasionally the former. And, yes, I do understand," he confirmed, closing his eyes before adding, "I'll stay here. To give you the space you need to thrive. You won't be able to if you censor your choices based on my gift. You should go to school, live in the dorms, change your major a few times. A human experience - or as close to as possible."

"Dorms?" Bella breathed, suddenly distressed. A strangled whimper escaped her clenched jaw.

The misery ate at Mae. They weren't putting up the expected fight. Edward's announcement that he'd stay behind meant her mind-reader father wouldn't be there to make her second-guess her every decision. She could sacrifice at least one small thing.

"I thought I could live at home still. At least for a few more years," Mae said, acting as though this weren't a new development. "But the rest, yes."

"Thank you, Poppet," Jasper murmured, sensing the truth and winking subtly at her while Bella was busy sighing in relief.

"I love you guys - all three of you," Mae said, grateful that she was lucky enough to have them as her family.

July

This move was completely different from the last one. Everyone seemed more excited, largely due to the fact Mae herself was so enthusiastic about it. Possibilities stretched before her. Only Seth would be on campus with her, and since he was in his final year before med school, he'd be too busy to check up on her overly much. He and Alice had gone straight from their California visit to see Jacob to Wyoming where they were house hunting.

Mae couldn't wait to join them. She was about to experience fun, freedom, and friends.

Her parents and Alice had considered going back to high school, but decided to wait for one more move since Esme said the two couples still needed to live elsewhere, seeing as they were so new and exuberant. Only Rosalie and Emmett would be living with Carlisle and Esme this time. Their new homes were all near each other, and Edward even gave her a car to make it easier to commute to and from campus. Rose had promised to teach her about the engine so she could take care of the upkeep herself, and make any improvements she felt necessary to be able to drive it faster.

It was their last night in Alaska, and Mae was spending it alone with Edward. He and Leah had already spent the day with her, but the female wolf had taken off to give Edward some time alone with his daughter.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with? I don't mind the constant, unrelenting invasion of privacy," Mae teased, nudging Edward's shoulder with her own.

It wasn't that impossible. And already they'd spent years apart. Knowing they'd have forever to make up for it all didn't mean she wanted to add more missed time first.

"You're going to start dating. I'm not that evolved. I'd kill the first man that had inappropriate thoughts or tried anything - even if you wanted him to," he stated, deadly serious. "I've heard too many filthy and perverted thoughts over the years. I can't handle them directed at you, my baby girl."

"I'll work on redirecting my thoughts, but I'm not a little kid anymore. Someday you'll have to learn to handle it so we can be together," she said firmly. Sympathy only eased her towards his position so much when it came to this topic. She would not be alone forever. And thanks to her aunts and Bella's influence, she was very modern in her view of sexual relationships, and what was acceptable with a person she loved - even before marriage.

"I know. Trust me, I am very aware of all of it," Edward moaned, expression twisted with pain. Leah was a saint for putting up with him. That stray thought earned her a glare, and brought Edward back around to the current subject. "Jasper is better at controlling himself when it comes to this though - never thought I'd find myself wishing for his control," he said ruefully, then begged, "Please, just promise me you won't rush into anything. Times are different, but I'm still… old-fashioned when it comes to matters of the heart."

Oh boy, did she know it. Rosalie had revealed a bit much on the subject when she'd taken Mae shopping for her first bra not long after Jacob had moved to California. They'd still been in Forks at the time. It was much easier to acknowledge without blushing and stammering now than it had been then.

She even went so far as to tease, "That's why you're living with Auntie Leah?"

A flash of pain crossed Edward's face. There and gone in a blink. So fast she could have sworn she imagined it. Would have, if not for the subtle tension she'd witnessed between the pair all day.

"What is it?" Mae prompted, lightly touching his arm in concern. "Has something happened with Leah?"

"That's another reason I'd like to stay here. I'm not sure how much longer Leah is planning to continue phasing," he admitted. A silent debate warred within him. How much was too much to share with his daughter? In the end, he confessed the gist at least - Mae deserved to be included at least that much. "Once she stops, she'll probably move away. Selfishly, I want her all to myself for as long as possible."

"Why would she stop now? It's not like she has to by a certain time," Mae remarked, stunned by the revelation. She'd not expected this. Leah was her friend, and she'd not once let on that she was thinking about this. Mae assumed only Edward's gift had betrayed her secret.

"We don't run together anymore. She spends less and less time phased. And I've heard her thoughts. She's worried that I'll try to convince her to change her mind about the life she's chosen for her future," he said quietly, shamefully. So maybe he had considered it.

He was already shaking his head in denial, but still she asked, "Would you try?"

"No. I'll stay with her until she outgrows me, but I'd never stop her from wanting to live a human life. It's the only right path for someone with a choice," he said, firm in his belief.

"Then you should enjoy the time you have, for however long it lasts," Mae agreed, offering her blessing in his decision to stay behind.

"Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

"Dad… "

"I look at you, and I'm reminded that there is goodness within me. It must exist for me to have been able to create you," he said, awed as he gently cupped her cheek. "You give my life meaning."

"I love you, Daddy."