Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
So I have theme songs for every chapter of this story, that I'm going to go back and add because I keep forgetting, but the song for this chapter is I Should Go by Levi Kreis. I hope you listen to it, because the lyrics are absolutely perfect for Jake and Mae's reunion.
PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(
Ch 8: Why does everyone think they have the right to question my life choices? - Jacob
Year 4 - 2009-2010
July
Natalie got the job, a public relations representative for Pacific Beats, a local recording studio. Not that he was surprised. She looked like she'd just stepped off a runway. What better way to advertise than use a memorable face?
From that very first date, he was hooked.
Natalie took him by storm. She was constantly busy, attending parties to keep an eye on clients, searching for new talent at local bars and clubs, blasting the social media world with information about the company's musicians. A vivacious force of nature in heels and a skirt, with a tablet always at the ready.
Jacob could honestly say he'd never met anyone like her before. She was bold, confident, sleek and sexy with an infectious laugh that no one within hearing distance was immune to. Not to mention three years older than him, and way out of his league.
She didn't seem to realize it though, and he certainly had no intention of telling her. They'd gone to dinner that night, meeting up after he'd gone home to shower. Dinner had turned into dancing, followed by a stroll on the beach. They'd talked all night and watched the sunrise from the cliffs overlooking sea lions playing in the water before grabbing breakfast afterwards.
A nonstop series of texts the next day ended with her coming by later that night. They'd not left his bed for two days, except to eat and once to shower together - not until he had to go to work. Then that following week they spent nearly every minute together, enjoying her last few days off before she started her new position.
Once she did, Jacob found himself attending promotional events and parties with people he'd never met or previously desired to meet - it was a whole world away from the life he'd always lived. New, more stylish clothes he'd never waste money purchasing found their way into his wardrobe for him to wear when he accompanied her - she'd picked up on his aversion to expensive gifts after the first time she'd presented a new outfit, and now just sneakily snuck them into his closet and drawers as if they'd been there all along. Nat insisted he made good arm candy, and watching her work over a room, charming each person she spoke with was a huge turn on.
She made him feel significant just by being near her. He didn't have to fight to be the one she chose - he just was. And that was knowing she had other options. A lot of other options. It was a heady feeling. One that made him understand what Seth had meant about Alice.
He'd only really known shy and unassuming girls before Natalie. Small town people, content to remain surrounded by the only life they'd ever known. Bella had been a little different, but she too was just Bella. Sweet, shy, a little more adventurous than some others, a danger magnet undeniably, but mostly ordinary. That in no way described Nat.
Certainly, he'd met others during the last couple years, but he'd not taken the time to get to know them. Not really. He just didn't see them. Not even Jo. He saw Natalie. She was impossible to miss. A flashing billboard in Times Square compared to the numerous Sharpie posters in store windows.
Nearly a month passed before Jacob realized he'd gone the entire time without phasing once. It was actually a concerned call from Leah that alerted him to the fact, and as soon as she mentioned it, he detected the deep gnawing in his bones and the stinging prickling in his skin. Her words were a catalyst immediately demanding he shift. It persisted, worsening by the hour to the point that as soon as Aiden left for the day, he moved the furniture in the living room and shifted in his apartment just to make it stop. Apparently, his body didn't appreciate going so long without shifting. He'd have to be more careful in the future, and get back to his normal routine.
Most of his pack still got together every weekend ever since his talk with Seth a few years ago, so they could run together despite the physical distance separating them. But since he met Natalie, he'd slept in with her instead of finding a forest each Sunday morning because they'd stayed out so late the night before. Cuddling up with her nestled within his arms was infinitely more appealing than crawling out of bed at the crack of dawn.
"Babe? I'm going hiking this Sunday. Want to come?"
He didn't know why he asked. Having her along would defeat the purpose. It wasn't like he could shift with her there, but he also didn't want to leave her behind. It'd be nice to share his love of the outdoors with her. There were days he nearly ached with missing the Olympic Peninsula forests. The lands of his people that he'd protected with the help of their magic. The freedom and joy in running full out, faster than the fastest human. Racing the wind. Being surrounded with crisp, clean air. Getting pelted with cooling liquid drops of rain that nearly boiled as they streaked down his arms or chest.
Nat was sitting at his desk, a mirror rimmed in a glowing LED light propped against the wall and a makeup bag open in front of her, with a pot of some colored goop that she'd been carefully dabbed around her eyes in her hands. She paused to glance over her shoulder at him, utterly incredulous by the suggestion.
"Do I strike you as the outdoorsy type?" she asked carefully, eyebrows pinched together over her nose as if worried she was staring at a mental patient recently escaped from an asylum.
Honestly, Jacob was beginning to doubt she owned any shoes that weren't heeled boots or stilettos. And she always wore dresses or skirts. Once she'd worn a pair of super short, high waisted navy and white striped shorts with a tiny, white lace crop top that he'd been unable to keep from staring at her butt in. But nothing he'd seen thus far lent itself to be worn in the woods. She was too polished and fancy for that.
"Honestly? No. Not at all," he admitted, earning him a 'duh' look.
Made sense considering he already knew she couldn't swim either, and had no intention of ever learning how. Her older sister, Madeline, was afraid of the water, and her fear of it growing up had rubbed off on Nat and left an indelible impression. He'd failed to talk her into letting him teach her last week. She refused to do more than walk through the frothy surf's edge at the beach and would nervously laugh and immediately jump away if a rogue wave dared to splash her legs.
"That's because I'm not. I spend a lot of money and time each week to maintain this," she said, waving her manicured hands towards her hair then down the length of her freshly waxed legs. "I'm not about to waste all that by getting sweaty, filthy, and eaten alive in the woods. Ew, just… ew."
"Right… " he said, unaccountably disappointed, and more than a little unsure. This was a huge chunk of his life that she was straight up saying she'd never want to be a part of.
What did that mean for them?
"Jake, Babe, we don't have to do everything together. We can be a couple while still doing our own thing," she insisted, smiling indulgently at him, and setting her makeup down to turn towards him and face him head on. "I'll have a girl's day while you do your manly nature outing - we can make it a regular thing," she suggested with a shrug that dislodged the shoulder of her robe. It inched down to expose the upper swell of her breast, distracting him.
They were supposed to be getting ready to go out, but his question interrupted her preparations. He loved watching her get ready, typically sprawling across the bed, and occasionally distracting her by kissing her exposed shoulder or spine when her robe slid off her smooth, well-lotioned skin. It was like watching an artist as she transformed herself from casually tousled and naturally beautiful to a glamorous, colorful socialite. It didn't hurt that she did it while wearing a floral satin and lace robe that only barely concealed her at the best of times.
"Yeah, you're right," he said, assuming a casual air he didn't really feel.
Natalie saw right through him, recognizing that he was bothered by her words. She crawled onto the bed, moving to kneel in front of him with her hands resting on his bare chest. "Do you know anyone that spends every second with the person they're in love with?" she asked, deliberately emphasizing and drawing out the word every.
He wanted to say yes, because he did. Seth and Alice couldn't handle being apart even long enough to get through a work day, choosing to share an office instead. All of the Cullens were like that, with the exception of Carlisle, but he and Esme had been together for nearly a century and still spent around twelve hours a day wrapped up with the other since they didn't waste time sleeping. Paul, Jared, and Sam were that way as well. It was part of their supernatural natures. That desire, the pressing urge to remain close and protective at all times, was part of his nature. The couples worked because they enjoyed many of the same things.
But he couldn't tell Nat any of that. She didn't know his secret. And given the life she led, he couldn't really see himself ever telling her the truth about being a wolf. It was kind of nice seeing the way she looked at him like he wasn't a monster or freak.
"Guess not - wait, did you say love?" he asked, stunned as her words registered after a delayed moment. They completely derailed him.
That was what he felt for her, wasn't it? She was so incredible. Amazing. How could he not love her?
"Too soon?" she asked, biting her full bottom lip with the blunt edge of her pristine white teeth. The pale pink flesh snagged on the corner of her left tooth, giving her a nervous lopsided grin that was incongruous with her usual perfect composure and confidence.
"Perfect time," he assured, moving to kiss her, tasting the apple she'd been munching on earlier. Lips still brushing as he replied, "I feel the same."
He opened his mouth to say 'I love you', but the words stuck in his throat, and he swiftly slanted his head to kiss her again instead, parting the front of her robe as he did.
The tips of his fingers brushed the peaks of each of her nipples, and she sighed, letting her head fall back. His hands continued down to her waist, fingers circling the narrowest point. She was so lean his large hands nearly met at that one place. With a tug, he pulled her onto his lap, her legs landing outside his own to straddle him.
Lazily, she kissed him again, savoring his mouth and exploring it thoroughly, in no rush. Her back arched, pressing the rounded globes of her breasts into his warm, calloused palms.
Eventually, she broke off to lean around him, inadvertently grinding her hips against his erection as she snagged a new condom off the nightstand. Deliberately, she rolled her hips again as she sat up, passing him her prize.
With quick, practiced movements, he had it on in no time, and his hands were back on her waist guiding her to lift up, and over him.
Torturously slow, she sunk down, taking him inside, inch by agonizing inch.
Their hands linked together, and their eyes met as she rolled her hips over him, controlling the pace and twisting slightly to press her clit against him with every downward stroke. All the while, he peppered her face with brief, tender kisses.
It was a slow building, neither racing towards the finish, but as it approached, Jacob released her hands to wrap his arms around her just as she shattered into blissful pieces in his arms. He held her shuttering form close, and pressed a final time up into her as he reached his own climax.
"I love you, Jake," she repeated thickly, tipping her head and kissing him again.
"You too," he said breathlessly into her mouth.
"We're going to be late," she groaned, pitifully.
"You'll make an entrance. It was worth it, and it's not like the patry ever really starts until you get there," Jacob said, praising her and stroking her ego a bit, voice still husky from exertion.
"If only that were true," she said, disentangling herself. "You. Shower, now," she commanded, moving unsteadily back to his desk chair to repair the damage he'd done to her makeup with their impromptu coupling spurred by unexpected declarations.
August
To say Billy was shocked when Jacob arrived with his girlfriend in tow for Quil's wedding was an understatement. The disapproval he projected was so extreme, that Nat was convinced within an hour of arriving that his dad hated her. He'd taken the excuse of wanting to show her around La Push as they walked over to Quil's mom's house to explain privately.
Well, more like come up with a plausible lie. He didn't actually understand why Billy was so dead set against Natalie. He didn't even seem to want to give her a chance. It reminded Jake of how Billy had been back when Bella first started dating Edward. Which was ridiculous. This situation was completely different. At least Billy had had a legitimate reason back then.
For someone used to being universally adored, this was an unfamiliar, and entirely unwelcome position to find herself in. "I've never had to worry about a boyfriend's dad disliking me. And with you it's even more important that he does. I don't know what to do."
"He doesn't hate you," Jacob vowed.
"Then what is it?" she asked, looking genuinely distressed over the way things were going. "I want him to approve of me - of us. I want a future with you."
She did? She wanted him. He could see it himself. Years of being together stretched out before them. He could see a life with her, just the two of them. It was even better than the future he'd once pictured for himself and Bella, because this time it was with someone that wanted to be with him.
"Us sharing a room," Jacob said, inspiration striking him, and he rolled his eyes to emphasize the ridiculousness of his dad's supposed issue. "Last time one of his kids had a significant other in the house was Rachel, and now she has Thomas," he said, using his sister to excuse his dad's behavior.
He'd have to talk to Billy later and get this sorted. Natalie was here to stay. He didn't want things to be like they were with Rebecca, where ties were cut and they never visited. Surely Billy wouldn't want that to happen. He and his dad were closer than Billy had ever been with the girls. But it would, if he persisted in treating Nat like this. Jake wouldn't subject her to unwarranted disdain.
"Oh," she said, flushing.
"Yeah, and we don't really have a lot of room in the house. I'll probably sleep on the couch so he doesn't say anything," Jake said, uncomfortably.
Natalie was from a very different upbringing than he was. She grew up in Philadelphia. Nuclear family. One of two kids. A dog - golden retriever named Buddy. White picket fence - literally. Her father was in marketing, and her mom was a dentist. She'd graduated from Penn State before moving to San Diego.
Much different from his upbringing. Sarah, his mom, had been a florist in Forks, more because she enjoyed it than to turn a profit. Honestly, it was more an excuse to sell her watercolor paintings. Painting was her true passion, and she usually identified herself as an artist, not a florist - though those were usually works of art as well. Many of her best paintings decorated the store, and she sold several over the years. Billy still had a couple up around the house.
There was one, his mother's favorite, in Jake's old bedroom that always reminded him of Nessie. It depicted a girl standing alone in the twilight, far away, on one of the Olympic peaks. Her long hair blew in the breeze, seeming to almost whip around her as she stared into the distance, hand outstretched - beckoning - waiting for someone to join her.
He should give it to Nessie for her next birthday. Although he already had this year's present picked out, so maybe next year he'd send it to her. He had an endless list of things he wanted to give her. There weren't enough occasions to have an excuse to give her things. Billy wouldn't mind if it was going to her, and she'd appreciate the sentimentality behind it.
Then there was his dad. Billy had worked on one of the salmon hatcheries until a little after the car accident that claimed Sarah's life. Billy had hurt his spine when the car flipped, but his diabetes had aggravated the injury and made it worse to the point that he'd lost all mobility in his feet. At that point, he'd had to quit his job and live off of the disability checks he got each month. It helped that he still fished for fun, and that provided the primary source of protein for their household - one less thing they needed to buy.
Jacob remembered after he first phased, and started destroying all of his clothes when he couldn't shed them fast enough after his temper sparked and his beast exploded outwards. There had been two weeks he'd gone without shoes, because they just didn't have the money to replace them - no matter what else they went without, and Billy's feet were smaller than Jake's, so he couldn't just wear a pair of his dad's shoes. The rest of the pack had understood, but it wasn't a story he felt he could share with Natalie. She'd be horrified, and possibly think less of Billy for not providing for his family, even though it was Jake's fault.
These weren't issues Natalie ever had to face. He'd been so nervous about showing her his childhood home. Worried she'd turn her nose up at the tiny three bedroom red box that wasn't even a thousand square feet total - smaller than his apartment. Concerned she'd feel too out of place in his simplistic home, so foreign to her everyday life.
"I can stay at the little bed and breakfast in Forks if that would help," she offered immediately, willing to try anything to help Billy form a more favorable opinion of her. It made his fears seem ridiculous now. It may be different, but Nat wasn't a snob, and she cared more about him than she did possessions.
"I want you with me," Jacob said, meaning it. "I know it's not much."
"Do you really think I care how much money your family has?" she chided, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"No, but it's a lot different from what you're used to," he said, acknowledging his previous thoughts.
"My family was firmly middle class," she insisted, as if that wasn't still substantially different.
He didn't reply, not wanting to argue the point when she was trying to connect with him and make them seem more on par. Instead, he kissed her, and led her through the streets, skipping past the wooded path leading to First Beach. He didn't want to take her there. That spot was reserved for the past, not the future.
"I can see why you enjoy the outdoors," she said, glancing at the heavily wooded areas lining the road. "There's mystery. Hidden secrets." He understood what she wasn't saying.
"Even if it's still not for you?" he asked, kissing the top of her head and chuckling.
"Sorry, Babe. I'm never going to change," she said, nuzzling his neck and giving his waist a squeeze.
"That's fine. You're perfect just as you are," he said, looping his arm across her shoulders. "That's Quil's fiance, Kyra," he said, nodding to the petite woman sitting on the porch a little ways down the street. She was even prettier in person, if possible. Or maybe she just had that whole pregnancy glow going on. "You sure you don't mind hanging out with her and her friends tonight while I'm out with Quil and the guys? I feel like I'm abandoning you," he worried, approaching the house.
"I told you I'd be fine. It's not like you're throwing me to the wolves. I love meeting new people," Nat insisted, not hearing the bark of laughter that rang out from inside the house at her unfortunate choice of words. Jacob winced internally.
Introductions were made quickly, Jacob had met Kyra two weeks ago when he'd come up for a weekend to help with wedding preparations, but the two women seemed to hit it off right away. Bonding over a shared love of dance from the sound of their conversation. Kyra studied modern dance, but Natalie had done ballet all the way through high school. She still moved with the tell-tale grace of a ballerina. Not to mention she had the body of one, if a few extra curves now that she no longer practiced daily.
Quil was still chuckling over the wolf comment when he joined them a minute later, just in time for Paul and Rachel to pull up. Rachel's lips were pursed tightly as she took in Nat from the passenger seat. Guess she'd spoken to Billy already. Great. Maybe he should have given his family a heads up before bringing her here. They'd heard about her - Jacob couldn't stop talking about her, but he supposed they'd not realized it was serious enough to have her meeting the family and participating in major events like his best friend's wedding.
Jacob debated telling Nat there was a change of plans and that he'd skip tonight.
"I just talked to dad," Rachel said quietly as she opened the car door, quiet enough that only the wolves present could hear.
"My sister, Rachel. Be right back," he muttered to Nat, nodding over to the car, and jogging over to talk to her privately.
"I... love her, Rachel," Jacob said pleadingly, stumbling a little on the word love. He'd still not actually said it aloud to Natalie.
"Do you even have anything in common?" Rachel asked, looking back at where Natalie was seated on the porch steps, looking visibly out of place in her bright dress and decked out in jewelry, even if she was relaxed and laughing.
"They both love his -" Paul began, but Jacob pinned him with a furious glare, his fists clenching to stop from punching his brother-in-law.
"Finish that sentence, and you won't like the consequences," Jake warned. Paul just smirked, and stepped behind Rachel, using her as a human shield. Coward.
"You do?" Rachel said, surprise flitting across her face as she took in his protective reaction. "Oh, wow, Jake… "
"Give her a chance? For my sake," Jacob begged. "Please, Rach."
"You just love to make things complicated," she said, shaking her head.
"Being with her is the simplest thing in the world, actually. I haven't gone a day since meeting her without smiling," Jacob confessed, knowing she'd understand the significance of his words.
"Guess I better meet her then," Rachel conceded, still staring at Jacob like a body snatcher was possibly impersonating him.
The last minute bachelor party was about as exciting as it could be for a night out in Forks. Seth met up with them in town, arriving late because the Cullens had all been with Sue and Charlie beforehand. Ultimately, they called the local bars a bust, and raided the grocery store for food and beer, then ended up on First Beach with a quickly assembled bonfire.
Paul spent most of the night offering Quil advice on what to do when Kyra went 'pregnant crazy' as he called it. Jacob mostly avoided Sam all night, but that was fine, because the other alpha didn't stay long. Colin and Brady took turns grilling Jake about Natalie and California. Both of them were going to be freshmen at UW this year, and hoping to either score girlfriends themselves or move away after graduating. Seth and Jared spent some time talking, and seemingly plotting something on their phones. Nicky and Jax were too young, and didn't come out at all with the others - much to their disappointment. And Leah had taken guy's night to heart and decided to stay in with Sue instead. Privately, Jake thought she was just avoiding Sam like he was.
Natalie was already sleeping when he got home later that night. He snuck into his childhood bedroom, silently moving through the narrow walkway between the wall and his twin bed so as not to wake Billy, and lightly kissed her barely parted lips.
"Hmm," she murmured, waking like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White.
"Hi," Jake breathed, nudging her nose with his.
"I like your sister," she said, slowly blinking her eyes open. They were heavy with slumber, not opening fully to reveal the seafoam depths. She reminded Jacob of a cat dozing in a sunny spot, reluctant to interact with the world.
"That's… surprising," Jacob admitted honestly, even dryly.
"She didn't want to like me, but I won her over in the end," Nat said, obviously proud of her efforts. It seemed to satisfy her. This evidence and overcoming of a hurdle in their journey to join their lives.
"Now that I can believe," Jacob said, crawling onto the bed and pulling her against him, spooning her through the covers wrapped tightly around her. She'd gotten so used to his heat, that she was always cold when he wasn't around.
"Is there an ex you haven't told me about? All night I felt like your friends were hiding something," she asked, turning her head to watch his profile.
"No exes. I didn't date until college. They're just shocked you'd even consider giving me the time of day," he said truthfully. Funny how confessing the truth could still be a lie if the right questions weren't asked.
"I almost didn't," she admitted, caughting him off guard and pulling him from the guilt of continuing to conceal so much from her.
He'd not known that. With the way she'd eye fucked him that day before her interview, he'd thought she'd been as interested as him from the word go.
"Maybe I should thank you properly," Jacob said, eager to reward her for giving him a chance. His hands started searching out the edge of the burritoed blanket, but she stopped him before he could get a hold of it.
"Not here. I don't want to give your father a real reason to hate me - but Sunday night after we get home… that's a different story entirely."
"Promises, promises," he whispered huskily, kissing the hollow of her throat and making her whimper.
"Goodnight, Babe," she said regretfully, but her resolution was firm.
It was the last weekend in August. Quil and Kyra were getting married in the afternoon so guests would have time to travel from Port Angeles or even as far as Seattle if they were only coming for the day. It was important to Quil Sr. that his grandson get married on the reservation, so Kyra had happily agreed without any prodding. She was more than willing to honor the man she loved and her child's heritage by having the ceremony on tribal land.
The ceremony was over in no time at all, then they were entering the reception. Natalie had waited for him with Paul and Rachel, and he'd joined her so that they could enter together. Her vanilla perfume and body lotion was stronger than normal today, and between it, and the number of vampires present, his nose was on fire with the sickly sweet scents of rotting desserts. It felt like all of the sensory receptors had been singed beyond repair.
They were on their way to find a table when their path was blocked by the flower girl and a woman Jacob didn't recognize from behind.
"I want them all to treat me like a princess, and give me whatever I want," Claire said boldly. Quil should probably start teaching her that breaking hearts for fun wasn't supposed to be a career aspiration.
"Oh, geez, girl. Good luck with that," the woman said to Claire, a smothered chuckle escaping to chime like tinkling bells.
Jacob found himself echoing it helplessly. The sound was irresistible.
She spun to face him. The instant their eyes locked, Jacob's mind emptied. Not a single thought formed. He was utterly stupefied.
"Jacob," she gasped, nearly inaudible. But he heard it. Always, he would hear the melodic siren's voice.
Still nothing. His blank mind was incapable of processing the sight before him. It didn't compute. Not at all.
"You even going to say hello?" she finally demanded, unmistakably hurt by the brief silence. Her eyes darted, a quick shift that humans wouldn't be able to detect, as if seeking to flee or second guessing the situation she found herself in.
Then he felt nothing except shock. Paralyzing, bone-chilling shock.
Because he recognized her - the vision of a woman - woman, not girl, standing in front of him. But it couldn't be. It didn't make any sense. The word impossible came to mind - and as a person capable of turning into a very large dog, that word was not often part of his vocabulary.
Sam's words ricochet in his head. Pale imitation of Bella his ass. She surpassed her mother in every way. Particularly since Bella's beauty now possessed the cold hardness of a razor's edge that somehow wasn't anywhere near as appealing as when she'd been human. They, Bella and Nessie, were so very different he could barely relate the two individuals in his mind. Nessie was an eternal flame, a star burning bright. Bella had just been girl-next-door pretty, and she wasn't even that anymore.
Nessie simply… shone. Every feature was perfectly proportioned within her symmetrical face. Each enhanced and vibrant. Alive. Luminescent. More warm and pleasing than any digitally altered supermodel's cover shot photograph could ever hope to be.
Nessie could easily pass for a senior in high school. It hadn't been that long since he last saw her, had it?
The world tilted dangerously as he took her in. Time slowed. It was like being in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Unsettling in the extreme. Strangely though, it was nothing like the feeling of imprinting had been. This was all natural.
"Ness?" he breathed, feeling the stiff way his face contorted as he spoke, giving voice to his confusion. He looked from her to where Claire had wandered off to, and back again, uncertain.
"It's been a long time, Jake. I grew up." The pained reply broke through his stupor, a bucket of ice water suddenly dousing him.
"I'll say," he said, frowning.
Why did he have to feel his emotions betraying him so thoroughly? This wasn't supposed to happen. He was never supposed to notice her as a woman. He'd left to avoid this very situation, but leaving only seemed to guarantee it happened. Without being there to bear witness to watching her grow up, now all he saw was the final product - or close enough to it.
"Babe, don't be rude," Nat interrupted his internal flagellation to scold him, even adding a playful smack to his chest. He didn't feel it, but he saw the flutter of her hand and knew that was what she'd done. His body was more numb than usual to her pitifully weak human touches. Like a zombie, he watched as Natalie held her hand out to Nessie. "Hi, I'm Natalie," she offered, breezily.
Helplessly, Jacob watched the train wreck of his two worlds colliding, the impact rocking only him as Natalie and Nessie began to converse with him helping it along like adding coal to the firebox to fuel the boiler. Full steam ahead - speeding up even more to ensure the most disastrous result possible.
"Oh, sorry, Nat. This is Renemsee… she's related to Bella," Jacob said. Did either notice the hysterical edge to his voice? He heard it plain as day. Jacob absently pointed to where Bella stood talking to Charlie. Instantly, he felt Nat stiffen against him. To a human, he supposed Bella was exceptionally beautiful. But she had nothing on Nessie. Yet for some reason, Natalie failed to see how much more spectacular the girl - woman - she was talking to was.
"And she is?" Natalie asked suspiciously.
"Old family friend - we used to make mud pies together while our dads went fishing," he rambled nonsensically, not knowing what else to say without revealing far too much of the multitude of secrets between their families.
Maybe this was why Billy had so thoroughly disapproved of him bringing Natalie. He'd not mentally prepared for the mindfield he'd have to navigate to appease her while managing to protect the truth. It was a tightrope he'd not practiced balancing on, and now had to cross while suspended over a bed of vampire venom-coated knives.
"Aw, I see. It's like that," Nat said, visibly relaxing, seeming to almost sink into Jake's side.
"She's with that guy," he added, nodding to where Jasper was watching their conversation proceed with piercing, attentive eyes.
Silently, Jacob begged for a rescue, and was startled when he saw the war waging across Jasper's features. What could possibly be stopping him from interfering? Was he so lacking in Alice's foresight that he didn't recognize that this could only end badly? Or was he even then plotting Jacob's demise for daring to recognize his daughter as a woman before he should?
"You certainly know some beautiful people," Nat murmured, looking around at the assembled vampires and wolves. They were a rather extraordinary bunch. As if that actually mattered.
"I know," Jacob declared, fixing his eyes on Natalie in an attempt to distract her from paying too close attention to those around her. He didn't want her analyzing the differences any more closely. It would only lead to questions he'd never be able to answer.
Besides, she was beautiful herself, and he did appreciate it. Had from the moment they met. The fact that she was as beautiful on the inside was why he'd fallen for her. He knew he had, even if he struggled to say the words.
"Flatterer," she said, shaking her head slightly, though she leaned up on the toes of her heels to kiss him softly. Jacob pulled immediately back, feeling the wrongness of allowing this here, n front of these particular witnesses,ibut Nat's lips followed him, deliberately prolonged the kiss, quickly darting her tongue into Jacob's mouth. He was dizzy from the intensity of even that brief contact when she pulled back. How could she affect him so strongly even as he reacted to another? "Sorry, we must seem so overly demonstrative and ostentatious. New love and weddings and all that, you know?"
"Sure," Mae said flatly. A fake smile was plastered to her face, and Jacob longed to make a joke just to see her laugh for real. Words evaded him, repelled by his floundering.
"Did you bring a date?" Natalie asked, attempting to be kind and get to know someone from Jake's life. She was always so good as setting people at ease.
"No," Nessie admitted quietly, sounding uncomfortable. As far as he knew, she wasn't dating yet. Or was she? Had things changed so much already?
"Jake! Don't be rude, ask her to dance then. My feet are killing me, and I could use a break," Natalie demanded, nudging Jacob towards Nessie.
"Sure, sure. Have a seat, and I'll find you in a bit, Babe," he agreed, absently kissing her again before looking back at Nessie, feeling more himself now that there was a task in front of him, and one that would separate the two women that dominated his life. "Shall we?"
"Of course."
Once they reached the dance floor, she looped her arms around his neck, and he felt her shiver when his warm hands came to rest on her waist, pressing directly against the soft skin exposed in the backless dress. She was almost as warm as him, and the spot where they were connected heated even more. Her skin was so much smoother than any human could hope to achieve even with the use of copious amounts of oil and lotion. Like firm satin somehow - durable, but silky.
Jacob sucked in a sharp breath at the contact, feeling far too much for such an innocent, nonsexual touch. His sharp inhalation caused her to shiver again, and mentally he groaned, wishing he hadn't noted her response to him. That shouldn't happen.
Together, they swayed gently, not really dancing, though he suspected Nessie would be infinitely better than Bella had been thanks to her vampiric genetics. He could dance too. Dating first a Latina then a former ballerina meant he spent a lot of nights out dancing, and he'd actually gotten pretty good. Plus, he enjoyed it. But he didn't want to risk stirring up any more untimely emotions than were already simmering in his gut.
"So that's Natalie… she's pretty," Nessie said offhandedly, seeming equally averse to mentioning how they'd both felt the spark when they touched.
"Don't I know it," he said, releasing a single incredulous bark of laughter.
Was Nessie really talking to him about his girlfriend? When had they entered that sort of friends zone? How had he missed the fact that by being apart, when he did finally see her again, she'd be grown up and in a place where she could relate to him in a whole new way? Seth's comment a while back about sharing his problems with her didn't seem so unrealistic anymore. They could be friends. Actual friends now. Their roles had changed.
It was difficult to even bring to mind an image of the little girl he'd protected several years ago.
Then his attention was focused on her again, and he admitted, "I barely recognize you."
Edward! I know you can hear me. Get over here. Please! Jacob mentally screamed, detecting the shift in her eyes. It was like a curtain was pulled back, providing a glimpse of her very soul.
"Jake… " Ness breathed, his name a plea.
A plea that reminded him that she was still finding herself. She'd not had the chance he'd had - when he'd gone away and then met Natalie. Shit. His girlfriend - a woman he loved - was twenty feet away, and he was playing with fire.
Ness's body brushed his, her chest rubbing tauntingly against his as she leaned closer. It was too much.
He jerked back, stumbling three steps away to put distance between them. Panic gripped his insides, twisting them brutally. The pain an echo of memory from the time he'd actually felt that happen.
Edward, please. A little help - anytime would be great!
She wasn't ready for what she was unconsciously asking for. And he'd already given his heart to another. He wasn't worthy of Ness. Never had been and never would be.
"Renesmee, no," he said quietly, the words no less firm for the lack of volume. "That can't happen. I'm with Natalie, and you're still finding yourself."
Damn it, Edward! Where are you? She's still too young - I can't. He wouldn't just leave her, but he needed some distance. He wanted Natalie, and her easy, mesmerizing laugh. The simple, straightforward relationship he'd committed to.
"I understand, Jake," she said mechanically. "I know it's not like that with us."
"I'm sorry, Renesmee."
"No, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Promise," she said woodenly, her face a blank mask.
Then he saw Jasper, slipping easily through the crowd, and only a few people away. The vampire looked every bit as devastated as he felt. As he assumed Ness felt. But there was a flash of relief on his face when he met Jacob's eyes, and he nodded at the wolf - granting permission to flee.
"Back so soon?" Natalie said, smiling adoringly at him as she wrapped her long, graceful arms around his neck and greeted him with a kiss.
"I missed you," he said, squeezing the words past the knot in his throat.
They left not long after, staying just long enough for the toasts and cake. Natalie had to get home early for an event the next night that came up unexpectedly at some point during the wedding, and Jacob needed to escape the demons nipping at his heels.
Edward was watching him leave. He wore the last expression Jacob had ever expected to see directed at him from his once rival - pity. But with it, was gratitude. Great. Both of Ness's fathers were happy he'd put a stop to what never should have happened in the first place. He really wasn't good enough for her, and they unanimously agreed on the fact. Edward shook his head, lips pursed like he was biting back words, but he didn't try to stop Jacob from leaving or talk to him about it.
January
Shame kept him from calling Ness after the wedding. He'd not handled things well. But she hadn't called either. Nor had she replied to the text he sent on her birthday only a couple weeks after the wedding.
Part of him wanted to call and explain. This felt like karma. He'd put Bella in the position of being pulled between two people, and now he felt like he was replacing her - only Natalie wasn't even aware his heart was caught in a game of tug-of-war with an entirely inappropriate rival.
The reminder of Bella actually served to strengthen his resolve not to call Ness. Bella hadn't made her feelings clear with him, not at first. By the time she did, he was too deep in, then she kept drawing him back in. He'd been childish and immature, annoyingly persistent, but she'd let him. Even gone so far at one point as to ask him not to give up on her. Of course that was before Edward returned. However, he could still recall the way his flaming sense of hope flared each and every time she chose to defy Edward's edicts and spend time with him. Every time she knowingly hurt Edward by choosing him.
He'd not do the same to Nessie. He'd been clear at the wedding that it couldn't happen - calling would just muddy the waters. The lack of communication in the months since had solidified his decision. Every day that passed, he devoted himself more fully to Nat. She dominated his every waking thought, and spent most nights in his bed. They had so much fun together. He'd never gotten on so well with another. Jake's feelings for Natalie deepened. Until the point it was easy not to think of Ness at all.
Okay, that was a lie, but the memory of her faded significantly, and quickly at that. So much so, that it allowed him to second guess if he'd been as inevitably drawn to Ness as it had felt at the time.
Hearing from her on his birthday was a relief. She sounded fine. Perhaps he'd imagined the whole thing.
He'd waited all morning, delaying his trip with Natalie just in case she called. He'd wanted to give Ness his undivided attention so he could assess how she was. He did not want to be responsible for causing her any pain. By the time they hung up, he felt confident that they were on the same page, and that he could relax and enjoy his birthday weekend with his girlfriend.
Natalie had surprised him with courtside seats to a Clippers game. It was a whole weekend getaway to LA. First a basketball game, then dinner at a fancy restaurant, followed by a club opening, then a suite in a four-star hotel. It made the spa weekend he'd gotten for her and her sister for her birthday in December pale in comparison. Granted they were working with slightly different budgets, but still.
Natalie was anxious to get going by the time he got off the phone, and they started the two hour road trip north. He saw why when they entered the hotel room. There was a bottle of expensive champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, and a new Clippers jersey laid out on the bed waiting for him.
"There's more," she said suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows.
"This is already too much - you've got to stop buying me things," Jacob insisted, a little uncomfortable with all of the extravagance as it was.
"Trust me," she said, setting her duffle bag on top of her suitcase, "this didn't cost a penny."
"Where is it?" he asked, resigned. What else could he do? She was too cute going to all of this effort on his behalf. No one else had ever tried so much to make him happy - with one exception he was not considering.
"It's more a... what's not there kind of thing," she teased, running her hand down her flat belly, and making her dress cling to her pebbled nipples. They poked against the fabric provocatively.
"Oh really?" he said, catching on.
"Why don't you come see for yourself?" she invited, raking up the hem of her dress to show off her inner thigh.
He stalked closer, prowling almost, and grinned when she retreated to the bed.
In no time, Jake had the slip dress off, exposing her naked body to his hungry gaze. The next four hours were a jumble of bubbling liquid, decadent sweets, and greedy, pleasurable caresses.
The act of making love to Natalie was completely different from how it had been with Alyson, and even how it was with Jo. Nat touched him like he was the breakable one. Her touches were light, gentle, almost hesitant. As if he were a wild animal she was afraid of spooking.
Nat was giddy, almost high from overindulging in their hedonistic exploits by the time they got to the game. She kept shooting him covert looks, like they were sharing a private secret. Then she'd make a face and giggle. His laughter at her joy was threatening to spill out the entire time.
Watching a game when he was close enough to reach out and touch the benched players was a new highlight for him. He couldn't wait to tell his dad all about it. Paul too. His brother-in-law would be so jealous.
They grabbed a late dinner afterwards, canceling their reservations in favor of street tacos, then Nat somehow tore and tied her jersey to make it look like some fashion statement before they headed to the club she was dying to show him. Honestly, it seemed like every other place she'd ever dragged him too, but dancing with her was still fun. Particularly with the way she rubbed enticingly against him, deliberately sparking lust he couldn't do anything about in such a public location.
The biggest surprise was the next day. He was all set to head home, when Natalie instructed him to take a different route. He was about to question her, knowing it'd take them out of their way, when he noted her barely suppressed excitement. Going along with it, he let her guide him a little ways out of the city to where rows of tents were erected, and a couple hundred restored or preserved cars were lined up.
"The annual car show was in November at the convention center, but a friend told me about this event this weekend when I told him about you, and he suggested we come by. Are you surprised?" she asked, getting out and coming around to meet him in front of his rabbit.
"Definitely. Babe, this is awesome, thanks," he promised, tugging her against his chest to kiss her properly.
There were a lot of cars he'd only ever dreamed of seeing, and he actually talked to a guy, Mark, from Tesla for about twenty minutes. Mark had been impressed with his internship and experience with cars, suggesting Jacob give him a call when his commitment to Philips was up if he was interested in a job someday.
Natalie's smug expression ensured his matching excitement remained permanently etched on his face all day.
June
"Hello! Open up, Jake. I know you're in there! We actually show up when someone graduates," Alice called through the front door of his apartment. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and he'd not been home from work for ten minutes yet. He'd graduated early as planned. His undergrad degree taking him only three years to earn, and the ceremony had been two Saturdays ago.
Now he had two years of grad school to earn his masters and a year long work commitment with Philips to honor here in California, then he was free to go anywhere. Three more years, then endless options. Wherever his heart led him.
"What on earth are you doing here?" Jacob asked, swinging the door open wide.
"Surprise," Seth chuckled, just as Alice launched herself at Jacob, throwing her arms around his neck. He caught the deceptively heavy vampire easily, and spun her around, truly happy to see her, and appreciating the exuberant greeting.
"It's so good to see you. How long are you staying?" Jacob asked, releasing Alice, and watching her flit back to Seth's side, their hands finding the other's the instant they were close enough. Magnets. Physics ensuring no force could keep them apart.
"Nine days," Alice said, eyes glazing over. "It should rain on Sunday, which is good news for the outing Natalie will plan once she knows we're here."
"You can have my room -"
"Thanks, but we need to stay at a hotel. I'll spend the day 'shopping' and we can go out at night on most days. That way Aiden and Natalie don't ask questions," she announced, her face reanimating as she spoke. She'd gotten better at willing herself to see the future around Seth being near, though now the visions were nearly always by choice instead of constantly forced on her with a dozen happening at once that she had to sift through based on relevance.
"I really miss you guys," Jacob said, trying to put words to the new emotions welling up at the sight of the two unexpected guests. They were a strange mix of friends and family. His roots. And with them, he could relax and breathe again.
"We're moving to Wyoming. You're welcome to join us," Alice offered, earning an exasperated look from Seth.
"I'm not so sure about that," he denied.
After his birthday, he'd called Ness several times, and she hadn't answered. The silence made it clear that she preferred the distance. For a moment, it might have seemed they were ready to be friends, like real friends, but his rejection had derailed that course. It would take time to repair the damage. Plus, there was Natalie to consider. They'd been together over a year, and he was happy, truly happy for the first time since before Bella moved to Forks. Maybe he should let the silence between them continue. At least until she decided otherwise.
"If you'd just -" Alice began speaking quicker than normal, but stopped, and actually stomped her foot, when the door popped open. "Ugh. There was just no better way to time it," she hissed too low and fast for human ears even as her face smoothed over to look like a marble statue.
"Hi! Oh, sorry - wait, didn't we meet at the wedding?" Natalie asked, coming inside, her unneeded key to his apartment still in hand. He'd been so caught up, he'd missed her approach coming down the hall outside his front door.
"Yep. We're visiting," Alice said, clearly frustrated by the interruption. So much so, she came off rather rude as she turned back to Jacob and pointedly added, "Anyways, Mae is starting college there this fall, so you should come see her even if you won't move there altogether."
A calculating spark of mischief wiped across Alice's face, there and gone between the blank masks that had begun dominating her face from the moment Natalie arrived. What was she up to?
"Mae? Moving?" Natalie tried, saying the words like they were a foreign language.
"I'm not moving," Jacob denied, speaking directly to Nat at the same time Seth attempted to explain.
"Our niece. Renesmee - Mae. Jake calls her Nessie," Seth supplied, wincing apologetically at Jacob. So Alice was up to something, and he wasn't planning on stopping his mate from messing around in Jacob's life. Well of course not. Everyone thought they knew better what he should want and how he should live - when they weren't already busy questioning his decisions, at least.
"Oh, right - she's starting college? I thought..." Natalie said, uncertainty making her face crumple in a way Jacob didn't particularly like. "Why would you move there too?"
"We're close. It'd be nice to have everyone back together sooner rather than later," Alice said, implying it would happen at some point. "We all miss him, especially Mae, so why wouldn't he?"
"I'm not," Jacob repeated, and Nat nodded, blinking a couple times, and shaking her head a little as though physically knocking an unwanted thought away.
"I'll just make reservations for us. A new restaurant just opened, I'll see if I can get us in at the last minute for tonight," Natalie said, rallying and offering a welcoming smile to the unexpected guests. That smile, the one he woke up everyday looking forward to seeing was much better suited to her face than the doubt had been.
"Thanks, Babe," Jake said, grinning gratefully at her thoughtfulness, and ability to adjust at a moment's notice. "She's starting college?" Jake echoed, repeating Nat's incredulous remark. That would be such a good experience for her, but already?
"What did you think would happen? It's been years," Alice said bluntly, looking supremely satisfied by whatever she'd just initiated. Only the fact that Jacob knew she was blind to his future prevented him from getting upset with her. That, and the fact he knew she cared about him, and wouldn't intentionally hurt him. At least, he didn't think she would. Seth would have stopped her if that had been her motive.
"Not that many," he muttered in disbelief.
"Enough," Alice said sympathetically. "She's nearly nineteenth - this coming fall." The tenderness in the look she gave him was reassuring. Whatever she'd set in motion wouldn't have any negative consequences. That was plain to see now.
But nineteen? Seriously? That was only a year younger than him. If they were treating her like -
"We're in! Dinner at nine work for everybody?" Nat said cheerfully, coming back into the room, and cutting off his thoughts.
"Yeah, thanks," Seth answered.
"I made it for five in case Aiden wants to come," she said, coming over to kiss Jake's cheek.
"You're the best." Always, she made the effort to make his best friend and roommate feel included. It wasn't something he had a feeling others would do as regularly, but she never minded if Aiden tagged along as a third wheel.
"So, are you two… married?" she guessed, sensing the deep connection Alice and Seth shared.
"Umm, no. We're way too young to get married," Alice said, her lips pressed together to hold back a laugh at the half falsehood.
"Jacob is actually the reason we're together. He sort of set us up," Seth clarified, editing history slightly to make it fit to share with uninformed company.
"He's giving me too much credit. I set up the opportunity - the rest was all him," Jacob denied, knowing it was Seth's persistence more than anything that resulted in the couple before him.
"Now that'd I'd believe. You're definitely not a matchmaker," Nat said, laughing at Jake, slipping her arms around his waist, and leaning fully against his side.
"Why are you so sure?" he asked, truly curious. It wasn't like he wouldn't help if he was in a position to.
"Aiden hasn't dated anyone seriously since I met him a year ago," Nat cited, presenting his roommate as evidence.
Which, to be fair, was sort of true.
Natalie had a number of incredible friends that he'd bet Aiden would like, and bet would like him right back. But he somehow doubted any of them would be able to appreciate the extent of the damage his high school girlfriend, and the loss of his parents did on him. His history would impact any relationship he seriously invested in, and it would take the right woman to work through those issues with Aiden. So far, none had been up for it.
"That's hardly my fault," Jake insisted, refraining from elaborating. It was Aiden's story to share.
"Have you met Aiden yet? The guy has trust issues. It's actually really sad," Nat said to Seth and Alice, proving with a few simple words that she'd picked up on more than Jake had realized. It was part of what made her so good at her job.
"Must not have met the right one," Seth said, but Alice's face had gone curiously blank again. Jake wondered if she saw happiness in Aiden's future. He didn't have enough experience reading her expressions to guess the outcome she'd witnessed.
"I can relate. Took me years to see the truth, even when it was staring me in the face," Alice said, then catching sight of Natalie's confusion as she glanced at Seth, Alice asked, "What?" then proceeded to answer her own question, shrugging as she explained, "Oh, sorry I was referring to my ex. He's a wonderful man, but we weren't really in love. It just took us a while to see and accept certain facts. But at least the journey helped us both become better people that were ready when the right one came along. I'm sure you'll understand someday."
"I'm going to take them to the hotel to get checked in, okay?" Jake interrupted, not wanting Alice to expand on the fact her ex was now with Bella, the woman Jake had already mentioned was related to Ness. Because he'd caught on to Alice's intentions. She was trying to bring every conversation back around to his imprint, or something like that.
Damn meddlesome pixie.
Over the next week, Jacob spent every free moment he had with Seth and Alice. Seth and Aiden, in particular, hit it off right away. They were both so very easy-going, naturally cheerful people, that it was hard not to cut loose and laugh when you were with either of them. The effect was amplified when they were together. The three went surfing one day, joining a couple others he and Aiden regularly went out with while Nat took Alice shopping. He might have given her a heads up that it was the fastest way to the pixie's heart.
Initially, he'd been hesitant to allow Alice to spend so much uncensored time alone with Natalie, but Alice swore she'd not bring up Mae again. Jacob had taken her at her word. Whatever she'd been about the day she'd arrived, seemed to have vanished. After that first meeting, Alice hadn't tried to stir anything else up. Perhaps she figured out for herself how awesome Nat was, and how happy Jake was with her, and decided against it. Whatever the reason, Jacob was relieved to spend the remainder of the visit not worrying.
It was almost amusing how he could literally watch Alice begrudgingly grow to like Nat. Each day, Alice opened up and latched onto her more and more. By the end of the first week of their stay, Alice was already texting her throughout the day and helping plan their nights out for the rest of their visit. And she was positively thrilled when Nat got them invitations to a new club opening where a band she worked with was playing.
Nat had been really sweet about Alice's oddness, one night in bed asking, "Is Alice… "
"She's unusual. You get used to it," Jake said, turning his head to grin at Nat. She propped herself up to look down at him.
"No, well, I guess, but... is she autistic?" Nat asked, tracing her fingers over his chest.
"Yeah. It's not something she likes to talk about," Jacob said, figuring it would be easier to let Natalie draw the wrong conclusions than ask too many questions. And the description sort of fit how Alice interacted with most people. He didn't know enough about it, and really hoped it wasn't offensive to let Natalie believe that about Alice, but weren't some individuals with autism sensitive to those around them, avoiding contact and occasionally uncommunicative with strangers? That was the impression Alice often gave, so at least the mannerisms were in line.
"Oh, yeah. No, I'd not bring it up. My best friend in middle school was. Alice reminds me of her. I wish we'd stayed in contact. Her family is supportive, right?"
"Very. Alice is an orphan. All of the Cullens are. Dr. and Mrs. Cullens adopted all of them. It's part of why they're all so close. They banded together," Jacob explained, revealing a little of the truth to her.
"That's so incredible," Natalie said, looking truly awed. After a moment, she pressed her lips together, studying Jacob intently.
"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" Jacob asked, reaching to tuck several curls behind her ear, and brush his fingers over the arch of her cheek.
"How do you feel about adoption?"
"Are we talking right now or someday?" he asked immediately.
"Well, I guess that means you're not against the idea," she said, giggling at whatever expression he was wearing. His face was too numb to know for sure what she was seeing.
"I really do want my future to be with you, but I should tell you now - I don't want to ever get pregnant," she said, completely serious.
"Oh," he said stupidly. No other words formed. So much for being relieved about Sam being wrong. It didn't matter that he could potentially have a child with someone aside from Nessie. All that worry, apparently for nothing.
"I'm not saying no to kids," she added quickly. "I just would want to adopt if I ever have any. There are so many kids in need, and I don't particularly want to put my body through that process."
"Oh," Jacob said again, this time with significantly more feeling. Adoption. Yeah. He could consider that. Then there'd be no chance of passing on the wolf gene. No worries on if he could impregnate her, or guilt if it turned out he couldn't.
"We've been together over a year now. And you mentioned adoption, so I thought this would be a good time to bring up the subject," she rambled, nervously awaiting his response. "If this is a dealbreaker, I want to know now. I l- "
"I'm all right with adoption. One hundred percent on board," Jacob said, reaching up to cup her cheeks, and pull her down for a kiss.
"Okay. Good. We're on the same page. Someday we'll adopt a couple kids," Nat said, giggling again, and climbing on top of him. "But don't think that means I want to stop not trying to make a baby," she said, rubbing her body against his as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.
Each night of Seth and Alice's stay had involved something new. Tonight, on their last night, Natalie arranged for them to have dinner at a fancy restaurant they'd never been to before. Unfortunately, Nat had left to deal with a work issue just after they'd ordered their appetizers.
"This is nothing like the life I pictured you living," Alice admitted, pushing her plate of uneaten food towards Seth who happily dug in.
"It's exciting. Never a dull day," Jake said, trying to remember the last time he'd been bored. He couldn't. For over a year, he'd not had a single day that hadn't made him feel alive or been busy enough to prevent him from dwelling on the past.
"But what about all the things you love? Working on cars, your family, your tribe, running through the woods, riding motorcycles, building or tinkering with things. What about all of that? Or is it all about her, and her passions?"
"Yes, Alice," Jake acknowledged. "I've been focused on her. But I'm all right with that. Natalie is incredible - if you weren't biased, you'd see that for yourself," he insisted.
"I meant no offense, Jacob. I agree that she's a wonderful person. I like her so much more than I expected to," Alice admitted, face scrunching guiltily, or perhaps regretfully. "But I have to ask, can you be happy forever - always putting her desires above your own? Because you left your imprint, a relationship that could be described that exact same way, and now you've fallen in with one that is an almost equivalent substitute - except she's a little too different from you to work long term."
"You don't know it won't work. You can't see my future," Jacob argued.
Alice looked torn. He waited, giving her the opportunity to spill whatever insight she was keeping to herself, but she didn't utter another word or give anymore away. Though she looked nearly devastated not to share.
For the first time he found himself doubting the path he'd set himself on. The mental image that'd formed of the child they someday planned to adopt dimmed a little. It hurt to think of losing Natalie. He really did love her.
"I'm happy, Alice. For the first time in years," Jacob said quietly, reaching out to touch her hand.
Immediately, she turned her hand palm up to clasp his fingers. The hard stone didn't feel wrong the way it once had. Now it was just part of Alice. Part of the girl that had somehow become his family.
"If that ever changes. None of us would object," she said softly, squeezing his fingers before adding, "Even Edward."
While he appreciated the words, and her renewed attempts to get him to move to Wyoming, he still knew one person that would be against it - Nessie herself. Besides, what she said wasn't true. Both Jasper and Edward had been glad when he walked away. Neither wanted him with their beloved daughter.
"I'm building a life with Natalie. A future," he acknowledged, recalling a dozen different moments from the last year of them smiling and happy. It wasn't something he was prepared to give up. Not for an unknown, potentially empty future existence.
"Pixie, stop butting in. You can't see the outcome. That doesn't mean you need to steer it," Seth said meaningfully. Perhaps a little too meaningfully.
"But I'm so much better at it," Alice insisted, giving Seth a look that had him grabbing her face and planting an epic kiss on her.
"I've missed this," Jacob murmured once they'd broken apart. He could feel himself blushing at the graphic display he'd just witnessed, but that didn't make him any less grateful to be part of their love story.
"'Bout time you remembered that we're all here for you," Seth said, eyes never straying from Alice's. It was the level of devotion that he'd once tried to explain and have with Natalie, but she'd not been on board with it.
"Maybe I could visit sometime," Jacob suggested, not wanting to part with them now that they were here.
It was hard to believe he'd once been the one so adamant about getting away. He still had the compass Jasper had given him. Right now it seemed to be prodding him to follow after the other two when they departed.
"You must be doing better," Seth said, turning and surveying him closer, more thoroughly than he had in the last few days. Surprise colored his features at what he found. Then joy stretched his lips. "I know you won't move with us, but a visit would be great."
"You're my brother, Seth. I'm sorry I cut everyone out before. I could have handled that better," Jacob said, seeing how happy Seth was to finally see the old Jacob looking back at him.
"I understand. I did then too," Seth admitted.
And it was true. After Embry's funeral, Seth refused to remain in wolf form if any of the others were. It was months before he'd even considered letting his sister into his mind. Truthfully, it hadn't been until Alice surprised him for the spring break of his senior year that he'd healed enough to be their brother again. Jacob knew the two had physically connected that week, but he suspected a lot of emotional healing had taken place as well.
"Thanks," Jacob said, leaving it at that. They all understood, so there was no sense rehashing the past.
"Oh, not sure if you've heard, but Kyra already wants to get pregnant again," Seth said, switching topics to something more lighthearted to end the trip on. "She called Alice this morning." The two had gotten close when Alice designed Kyra's wedding dress, then repeatedly modified it to account for her changing body.
"You're kidding. Jay is only a month old," Jacob said, having not heard any of this from Quil yet. He'd gone to meet his friend's son the weekend after he was born, studying for his last final exams on the flight there and back. They'd tried calling the baby JR instead of junior, but it had inevitably been shortened to Jay. Quil seemed content with it. Made sense considering his partner in the unusual name department was no longer around to help defend name choices, and Jay would inspire far less teasing than Quil Jr would.
"Seems Sam really was talking shit that day - in case you and Natalie ever decide that's something you want," Seth ventured.
"Nat and I have talked about adoption actually," Jake admitted, watching with a small measure of satisfaction as Seth's mouth dropped open.
Understanding flashed over Alice's face as she sucked in a sharp breath, but decades of practice meant she'd successfully schooled her features an instant later, and her sphinx-like expression indicated he'd get nothing from her, so it wouldn't be worth the effort.
Her reaction brought him up short.
A child. He could be a father. In a less traditional way, yes, but no less a father - Jazz was proof of that. Somehow the thought wasn't as appealing as he'd once thought it would be back when he'd thought it was an impossibility, or even days ago when Natalie first brought it up.
Because with the understanding, had come pain and sadness within Alice's raw expression. She knew something. Something she'd not confessed. Something that gave him pause. For the second time that night, he was second guessing his future with Natalie.
Because it was never wise to bet against Alice.
Second Author's Note
Okay, I know this is a little random, but I'd love some feedback. I'm working on my new Bella/Jasper story, and I keep running into this question about Bella and Alice. SM states repreatedly throughout the books that the two are best friends, and that thy love each other so much. But is there a single time in any of the four books that the two do anything together as friends? I mean, I know Alice helps Bella several times - taking her to Arizona and Italy, covering for her to help her go see Jacob or plan her wedding, but do they ever once even have a conversation that wasn't born out of Edward arranging things or necessity putting them together in the same place at the same time? Are they ever together because Bella wants to hang out with Alice, rather than Edward or Alice alone - not the whole family? Just wondering...