A/N: This is a slightly shorter chapter than what I typically post, but it felt appropriate. This AU is still evolving for me. I'm not yet sure where it will go.

Chapter 2

Chuck

I silently willed Casey to drive faster even though we were already pushing the laws of physics. One mistake at these speeds and they'd need more than dental records to identify our remains. Morgan had his eyes closed in the back seat, his seat belt as tight as it would go. Mentally, emotionally, physically, all my internal meters were already pegged. I didn't have room for fear regarding the insane speeds Casey was pushing his Crown Vic to attain, so I wished for yet more.

Acid was boiling in my stomach, sleep deprivation was dulling my thoughts, spikes of adrenaline were coursing through me, heightening my anxiety and making me twitchy. I'd barely eaten or slept in the week that Sarah had been missing, since that bastard Quinn had kidnapped her. At one point during the week, I'd basically just fallen down exhausted when I simply couldn't function for another minute. Morgan had taken on the task of making sure we all took time out to eat and grab a few hours of sleep. Casey viewed Sarah getting captured as a personal failure on his part, but I knew it was all on me. He was pushing himself to the limit as well, but he had the benefit of experience to know that to push too far risked further failure.

As more time passed with no word from Quinn, I'd been moving into a level of panic that threatened my sanity. It had started as we watched the train car separate, pulling Sarah further and further away from me and it grew inexorably deeper with every passing minute. We knew that Quinn's ultimate goal was to get the Intersect glasses for himself and I would have happily given them to him if it meant getting Sarah back safe. I knew in my heart that I wouldn't survive losing her. I couldn't bring myself to end my own life; I could never do that to Ellie or the rest of my family, but without Sarah, I would forever live a shadow existence. A life without taste, color or form, completely bereft of joy. My days after Stanford would seem like Norman Rockwell painting by comparison.

And then a call out of the blue. Not from Quinn, but Sarah's mom, Emma. Sarah had reached out to her, asked upsetting questions. After hanging up with Emma, I knew in my bones that Sarah would be at our apartment. It was the only place she could go to get answers to the kinds of questions she'd been asking. My traitorous brain kept returning to what had happened to Morgan with the glitched version of the Intersect. His lost memories that had never returned and how on the train, Sarah had admitted not remembering who Alex was. Thankfully Morgan hadn't lost anything that couldn't be re-learned or experienced again. I tried not to think about Sarah not remembering me, not remembering us, our life. But that's exactly what Emma's comments implied.

"Chuck, she was asking about your life together, your marriage. She asked if it was real, if she really loved you." Emma had said, and I thought the pain would undo me. But Emma had also said that Sarah sounded somehow hopeful. Sarah had told her mom that it would be ok. That spark of hope kept me from drowning in the gibbering panic that had been threatening to consume me.

I was operating on a sort of emotional overload; dread that she'd lost her memories of us, elation that she'd found her way home, terror that Quinn might be on her trail. When we hadn't heard from Quinn about working some kind of trade, I'd started to fear the worst. When we got word he was back in LA, I thought sure he'd get in contact, then nothing. Radio silence. Crickets.

Morgan, Casey and I had been chasing down leads near San Bernardino when I got Emma's call. Luckily we were in Casey's Crown Vic and even though it wasn't strictly legal, he ran lights and sirens all the way back to LA. As we approached our apartment complex, Casey killed the siren and slammed on the brakes, all four wheels locking up and leaving a long set of skid marks trailing away from the car. I was halfway into the courtyard before Casey and Morgan were even out of the car. As I stumbled through the door of our apartment, my heart sank at how quiet and dark it was.

I ran back to our bedroom and at first I thought I might be hallucinating, my fear projecting what I so desperately wanted to see. She was there, in our bed, asleep. I blinked and she was still there. The relief and joy that flooded through me nearly took me off my feet. She was so stunningly beautiful that it took my breath away.

I heard Casey and Morgan come in to the living room, so I went out and quietly told them she was here but asleep. I told them to go to Ellie's apartment and I'd come get them after I'd spoken to her. I need to talk to her alone first.

I knew they were nearly as worried about her as I'd was and it felt selfish, but this was my wife. I needed to be alone with her in these first few moments of our reunion. I quietly closed the door to our bedroom and kneeled down on the floor next to the bed. My joy at seeing her here was like nothing I'd felt since our wedding day. How unbelievably lucky that someone so amazing had fallen in love with a simple nerd like me. I still had no idea how I'd done it; how I'd won her heart, but I was thankful for it every day.

I couldn't imagine what she'd been through, and I was scared to death to learn that what Emma had said was true. As I knelt there and watched her sleeping, I realized that it didn't matter. She had come home on her own. She had put on one of my old Stanford sweaters and she was sleeping mostly on my side of the bed, as if she'd started on hers, then rolled over to mine. Those felt like hopeful signs to me, Sarah seeking comfort in my scent. I desperately wanted this to be true. After a few minutes, I was somehow able to let my fears subside and just be with her as she slept. She was alive. She was here. At some point I started stroking her hair and I felt myself whispering her name, just soaking in the purity of the love that I felt for her, not realizing that I was crying tears of joy that she was here, regardless of the circumstances.

I saw her eyes flutter open as she looked at me.

"Hey, you," I said.

"Hey, Chuck."

She reached up and took my hand and the manifestation of love on her face made me so inexpressibly happy that I don't think I could have formed coherent words at that moment. She lay there for several long moments holding my hand before I saw her expression change to one of sadness as she sat up in the bed.

She looked at me for a moment before she spoke. "Chuck, I need you to tell me about my last mission before I came… here," she asked, her voice rough.

I knew in that moment that it was true. Her memories were gone. This was her way of proving to herself that whatever we had was real. She would never have told me about Molly and her mom if she hadn't trusted me completely and without reservation.

I looked in her eyes as I told her the truth. "Budapest. You saved a baby that your handler Kieran Ryker was trying to kidnap so he could use her to steal her inheritance. You took the baby to your mom who's had her for the last five years. Your mom adopted her. She's your little sister. Her name is Molly. You killed Ryker last month when we discovered he'd found out about Molly and tried to take her."

I watched, fascinated as an internal struggle she'd been fighting came to some sort of conclusion, relief playing out openly on her face. But her expression of relief was quickly replaced with one of sadness as she looked at me.

She sighed and said, "Chuck, leaving my mom's house after dropping Molly off five years ago is the last thing I remember before I woke up today."

It hurt so much to hear those words, the staggering loss it represented for both of us. But I'd felt them coming. I'd been mentally prepared for them and they were counter balanced by her presence, by the expression she'd had on her face as she'd woken up. I hadn't hallucinated that either. Those things gave me hope that I clung to like a drowning man.

"You've lost your memories but you're here, you fell asleep in our bed, on my side of the bed. You're wearing my sweater and it looks like you've been crying?" Sarah hated being emotional so the last thing I wanted to do was point our that it was obvious she had been crying.

I could see then that she was in every bit as much emotional turmoil as I was. Probably considerably more because of her lost memories and the confusion she must be feeling on top of everything else. I suddenly felt selfish again for focusing so much on how hard this was for me without considering her perspective.

She took a breath and said, "I don't have the memories, but I've been experiencing the strangest, most incredible emotions. They're so powerful they almost overwhelm me, but I don't have any frame of reference for any of them. Strong emotions are generally tied to something. A memory of some kind, an event, but mine aren't. I decided that the only thing that matters is how I feel, not why I feel that way. The why is there, in my past. It was real, it happened and that's why I feel this way. I realized that just because I couldn't remember why didn't mean that my feelings were invalid. I can feel it even if I don't remember it."

I was dumbfounded by her words. Having the emotions that the memories represented without the memories themselves. God, she must have felt like she was going insane!

She moved closer to me on the bed and took my face in her hands as I was once again awed by her magnificence. Her spirit, her refusal to be beaten or quit or give up even in the face of such terrible circumstances. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. Tears of joy and relief and loss and grief all mixed together.

"I love you, Chuck," she said simply. "As strange as it is for me to say that to a man I have no memory of, or at least so far only one very specific memory. But I'm not going to deny the truth of what's in my heart and what's in front of my eyes right now."

At hearing her speak those words, all my fears evaporated. She had lost her memories, but she hadn't lost me or herself. She was still with me. I was still Her Guy. She was still My Sarah.

"I love you too, Sarah. So, so much." The words felt so inadequate to express the dept of my feelings. We sat there just holding hands for a long time until she suddenly asked about El Compadre and I explained our first date. I was stunned to hear that she'd remembered something about us. This was incredible news and it gave me such hope that I could barely find the words to speak. She made a comment about how terrible she must look, and I spoke the truest words I could find.

"You're the most beautiful thing in the world," I said. I didn't mean to make her start crying again, but she looked so happy I thought they must be tears of joy. The world could have burned down around us as we embraced, and I wouldn't have noticed. I had her back in my arms.

Eventually I realized I was being selfish again. There were other people concerned about her. We all needed answers. We talked for a few more minutes as she explained what she remembered. I was shocked to learn that even though she'd been missing for a week, her memories only picked up from today. I couldn't believe how stupid Quinn's plan had been. He should have just tried to arrange a trade – Sarah for the glasses.

Discovering that it was Quinn who had done this to her enraged Sarah. I almost felt sorry for the man should she ever get her hands on him. A reckoning was certainly coming, but we needed more information.

By the end of her story I could tell Sarah was getting more and more upset. I put my hands on her face and looked into her eyes. "Sarah don't freak out," I said softly. "That's kind of our thing, but it's usually you telling me not to freak out."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and I saw her features settle and calmness take their place. She opened her eyes and I marveled at the depth of resolve in those amazing blue eyes that never failed to stun me with their beauty.

"Ok," she said, squeezing my hands and smiling. "I feel a little better."

I wanted to reassure her. "Sarah, the fact that you've only been awake for a few hours and are already remembering things is a really good sign. But this is a long story and there are other people here who are worried about you. People who love you and who can help. Are you up to having this conversation with them?"

She didn't hesitate. "Yes, I can do that," she said with determination.

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Ellie made tea and put coffee on while the rest of us waited at the table for her so we could talk about our next steps. I'd called Ellie and asked them to all come over. Sarah was sitting in the chair next to me, almost on top of me, her arm wrapped around mine, hand clenched in mine. We sat together quietly, while everyone tried not to stare at Sarah or inundate her with questions. Morgan and Alex were sitting across from Casey. As Ellie sat down, I explained what Sarah had told me thus far, that her memories were hidden or blocked, but that she'd remembered part of our first date earlier today, but other than that, the last five years were a blank.

While I talked, Casey dumped the contents had of Quinn's messenger bag on the table. When it was empty, he dropped it on the floor between him and Morgan. It was mainly the file Sarah had mentioned, the bogus one outlining her operation against me. There was also a CD that appeared to be a copy of her mission logs. I was intrigued by that as I'd never seen them.

Casey grunted as he went through the file. After a few minutes Ellie brought in a tray with coffee and tea then sat down across from Sarah. Morgan had picked up the messenger back and had a confused expression on his face.

"What is it, buddy?" I asked. I prepared a cup of tea for Sarah which she accepted, a smile of satisfaction on her face as she tasted it.

"This thing feels weird. It's too stiff and heavy. I thought it made a strange thump when Casey dropped it." He continued rummaging around in the bag when his face suddenly brightened. "Ah-ha! It's got a hidden pocket inside here." There was a sound like a seam tearing, and he pulled out a bunch of large cards with what looked like holographic patterns on them. Sarah screamed suddenly and grabbed her head.

Ellie saw the cards and said, "Morgan, put those back in the bag, quickly!"

Sarah had her eyes squeezed shut and was holding the bridge of her nose like she was in pain.

"Sarah! Are you ok?" I asked, panic flaring in me.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, careful not to look at Morgan, who had jammed the cards back into the secret pocket of the messenger bag. "Yeah, I'm ok. I just saw the edge of one of those cards and it was like an ice-pick in my head."

Ellie had already jumped up and was leaning down over Sarah with a pen light. "Sarah, look up at me." Ellie performed a pupillary response test and seemed satisfied. "How's your head?" She asked as she stood up.

"It's ok, it was a really sharp pain, but it only lasted for a moment. It happened to me earlier this afternoon as well. I have this strange blankness in my mind, and I get a similar pain when I focus to strongly on it." Sarah said. Ellie didn't notice the smile Sarah directed at her as she returned to her seat next to Devon.

As Ellie sat down, a thoughtful look on her face, Sarah looked at me and said, "I know everyone has lots of questions, but can we start with how this happened?"

I nodded. "Does the word Intersect mean anything to you?" I asked.

Sarah shrugged. "Other than that's what Quinn called those glasses, not really," she admitted.

"Ok, so I'm going to summarize for you but keep in mind, there's going to be a lot of details left out that we'll probably have to revisit later." Sarah nodded that she understood. "The Intersect is both a kind of computer as well as a computer program. It uses a specialized encoding process that allows information to be uploaded into a person's subconscious brain which they can then access when they experience certain kinds of external stimulus. For example, like seeing a certain kind of bomb, if there's information in there, you suddenly know everything there is to know about that bomb as if you'd studied it intensely, without actually having done so." Chuck tapped the side of his head as he spoke. "Five years ago, I was sent an email from an old friend – this being a detail we'll revisit later – and unbeknownst to me, this email contained the Intersect. I opened it and once the download started, I couldn't look away. The entirety of the NSA and CIA intelligence systems were downloaded into my brain via encoded images. So I had all the US Government's secrets in my head, though it took a while to realize what had happened."

Sarah's eyes widened. "Holy shit! How did that not turn your brain to oatmeal?" She asked, amazed.

Casey grunted a chuckle. "Who says it didn't?"

Sarah narrowed her eyes at Casey while the rest of us laughed. I saw that Sarah didn't appreciate Casey's humor and felt the need to clarify things.

"Sarah, you need to understand something," I said, waiting for her to look at me. "I think by the way you're responding to me..." I motioned to her arm still wrapped up in mine, holding my hand as she gave a slightly shy smile. "…that I can safely say that you've accepted the fact that I'm your husband, right? At least, emotionally if not intellectually?"

Sarah nodded and looked around at everyone. "I have some kind of an emotional response to all of you that I don't understand and while I'm learning to deal with it, it's still really confusing. It's very strange but the only way for me to identify the feelings is to not try to identify them, but just let them wash over me. I felt it when Ellie rushed over to check me a moment ago. I realized that I love her like a sister. My feelings about Casey are more difficult because I know him by reputation and part of me doesn't want to trust him, but another part of me knows that already I trust him with my life." Ellie was wiping tears off her cheek as Devon put his arm around her.

Casey nodded to her and said, "You're the best partner I've ever had." He motioned around the table with his hand. "This is the best team I've ever worked with. Ever. By far." He ended with a grunt that seemed to add emphasis to his statement.

I picked up where I left off. "Sarah, all of us here, along with your mom and Molly, Ellie's and my mom, Mary, we are your family. This is your home."

Sarah's eyes sparkled as tears dripped off her lashes and she nodded. "So back to the Intersect. Apparently it may or may not have turned your brain to oatmeal," she said with a chuckle as she dabbed tears from her eyes.

"Yes, well, I guess that's up for debate. Anyway, the email had been tracked to my computer. The CIA sent you and the NSA sent Casey to find out what was going on, if I was working for the guy who sent it."

Sarah inhaled sharply and shouted, "BRYCE!" Ellie, Devon, Alex and Morgan all jumped in their seats a little, startled by her outburst. "Son of a bitch! Bryce sent you the Intersect! Casey killed him while he was trying to get away from the facility. After he blew it up! Bryce had gone rogue!"

I looked at Ellie with a smile. "Tell me that's good news right? She had a memory of me earlier tonight as well!"

Ellie looked very happy. "Yes, that is excellent news. It means that very likely she'll be able to get all her memories back. They are there, still, just hidden somehow or suppressed similar to how the Intersect can be suppressed."

"Sarah I'm going to skip ahead here for a bit but I'm going to tell you first that Bryce didn't actually go rogue and even though Casey shot him, he didn't die that night. Bryce had been tricked by rogue elements within the CIA, but he figured it out. That's why he sent the Intersect to me. He died about two and a half years ago defending us. Bryce died a hero."

Sarah looked both shocked to hear about Bryce and happy to hear the positive information about her memories. "Wow, that's a lot of information to process." She said quietly.

"Are you ready for me to continue about the Intersect?" I asked. She nodded. "So, fast forward a couple of years and the Intersect technology was improved. Along with the improved, updated version of the Intersect, another version came out, but this one was flawed. It was very similar to the updated version but it had a glitch in it. Anyone who downloaded the flawed version of the Intersect, if they used it too many times, it started to cause bad headaches and memory loss. It happened to Morgan when he accidentally downloaded the flawed version. A few weeks ago, you and Casey walked into an ambush. You downloaded and used the flawed Intersect to help you guys escape. It probably saved your lives."

Morgan looked sad for a moment. "I lost all the Star Wars movies," he said. "But I got to watch them all again for the first time, so that was fun!"

I could see Sarah thinking about what Morgan had said. "Morgan, did you ever get any of your lost memories back?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No, I never did. Luckily I didn't forget anything super important, except that I sort of forgot how to be a good guy. I turned into a douche," he admitted quietly. "Broke up with the love of my life over text message." Alex smiled at him and rubbed his back while Casey glared at him.

Sarah looked at Ellie. "I don't understand. Why am I remembering things when Morgan never has?"

Ellie nodded. "I think I know why," she motioned to the messenger bag on the table. "Those holographic cards are mentioned in dad's notes. He said they were designed as a sort of fail safe to suppress the Intersect by making the brain forget it was there. They abandoned that process as apparently it was incredibly painful. They used it once on Hartley and the notes said it was worse than torture."

Ellie gathered her thoughts for a few moments, then said, "I think there are two memory loss modalities at work here. The first is related to actually using the faulty Intersect, flashing on information. Unfortunately, it seems like memories lost that way are really gone. It's been months and Morgan hasn't recovered any of his. Even after re-watching the movies, it didn't spark any memories of having seen them previously, which he had, multiple times."

Ellie paused again, remembering her dad's notes. "From what Sarah has told us about her experiences, the second process seems to be, like I said, a suppression technique using the holographic cards. From the few notes I remember, it almost seems to act like an encryption on your memories. I have no idea how Quinn was able to use them to target Sarah's memories in such a linear fashion. He must have information on the research that we haven't seen."

I was ecstatic with this new information. "So this means that her memories really are still there?"

Ellie looked optimistic, but not overly so. "Chuck, I can't give you the definitive answer you're looking for. The fact that Sarah's had two spontaneous memories already today is a great sign. But we have a very long road to walk down." Ellie changed her focus to Sarah. "Sarah, we need to get in in to have some tests done. You need a CAT scan, an MRI, blood work. I need a full work-up on you to know how to start helping you."

Sarah had a guarded expression on her face. "Ellie, I want to do all that, I want my memories back, but Quinn is still out there. I'm going after him. That bastard stole my life and then tried to use me to kill my own husband! I'm not going to let him get away with this. I'm taking the fight to him."

Casey looked at her and said, "You mean we are taking the fight to him. You're not a lone wolf any longer Bartowski. We're a team."

I was more than a little surprised. It was the first time in the year that Sarah and I had been married that Casey had referred to Sarah as Bartowski instead of Walker when they were in mission mode. It meant a lot to me that he would do that. I saw Sarah smile at the mention of the team. Or maybe it was him calling her Bartowski. Either way, it was a smile, and we all needed more of those.

"Where do we start?" She asked.

"We still have what Quinn wants. He was planning on using you to get it for him, but that plan backfired. He has to assume we're together now and fortified so coming after us here is too risky," Casey said.

I nodded. "He also needs us to load the updated Intersect onto the glasses. That was one of the items he was going to try and force us to do while he was holding Alex hostage. The thing I don't understand is that he knows the glasses are faulty. He must know of way to fix them, otherwise, what's the point of all this?" I looked at Ellie. "What do we know about the Intersect glasses? What is it about how they operate that causes these problems?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm not sure, Chuck. I'd have to compare the glasses to the original designs. I'm betting that the glitch is a result of a missing component that manages the encoding process."

"How long do you think that would take?" I asked.

"Not long, maybe a few hours? But I'd need the glasses to compare against dad's designs."

I pulled the glasses out of one the pockets on my tac pants and handed them to her. "We should all sleep here tonight in case Quinn does try to come at us here. We may be fortified, but it's still to exposed. Tomorrow we need to get to Castle. You can work from there." I looked at Ellie and Devon. "Guys, I'm afraid your move to Chicago might need to be postponed until we stop Quinn and figure out how to help Sarah."

"You know we're here for you, bro." Devon said quietly as Ellie nodded.

Alex and Morgan made a nest of sleeping bags in the living room while Ellie and Devon took their old room. Casey slept on the couch, mostly in a sitting position but didn't seem to mind. We decided we'd trade off keeping an eye out overnight with Morgan taking the first watch.

Even as exhausted as I was, as physically and emotionally spent, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep for fear that Sarah would be gone when I woke up. As I closed our bedroom door she pulled me into a hug and read my mind for me.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep," she said. "I'm afraid I won't remember any of this when I wake up."

I hugged her to me as tightly as I could. "I'm not letting you out of my sight for at least the next year," I whispered into her hair and I felt her chuckle. She pulled out of the embrace and looked at me.

"I'm slowly learning how to process the untethered emotions that I keep feeling. My instinct is to try and force meaning onto them, but obviously that doesn't work. When you were talking about the guy who sent you the Intersect, I felt this intense anger and frustration. Rather than focus on the feelings, I just sort of let them exist in me. Just acknowledge the feelings without trying to understand them and then it just sort of popped into my head about Bryce. I remembered hearing about what he'd done, thinking that he'd gone rogue. That's what everyone thought. I remember hearing that Casey had shot and killed him that night and that he'd sent an email to someone. But that's pretty much it."

"What about when you remembered me at El Compadre earlier tonight? Was that the same?" I asked.

"God no. That was more like a hallucination. I actually saw you sitting across from me in the booth. I remembered what it felt like sitting across from you, how much I liked you and how I knew you couldn't possibly have anything to do with Bryce. You were so open, so genuine. But I didn't understand what was happening then. I was fighting the feelings, trying to force them to make sense. Now that I have a better understanding of what happened to me, it's actually helps me relax a little."

"Are you OK right now? Do you want to talk a little bit, maybe try to spark some memories? There are a lot of things in this room we could talk about." I offered, gesturing around the room. She gave me a sly smile that I knew all too well and I felt heat creep up my neck.

"Can we talk about some of the things in the bottom drawer of my night stand?" She asked, her voice low and breathy. I gulped as I felt my ears tingle and my face flush.

"Uh, Morg- I mean, uh, Ellie is... Casey's here and… I don't, uh…" A grin enveloped Sarah's face as she looked at me and I understood what she was doing. "You're totally messing with me right now aren't you?" I asked, completely enthralled with her.

She nodded, the grin getting even wider. "I somehow just knew that if I brought that up, your face would turn purple and I had to see it. You didn't disappoint me."

I couldn't help myself. "God, I love you so much," I whispered.

Her face took on a somber expression as she took my hand. "I love you too, Chuck. I've never been a cuddler before but all I can think about is being in your arms as I fall asleep. Can you just hold me tonight?"

"Nothing in this world could stop me," I told her softly.

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A/N: This has been as much of a writing experiment for me as it has a cathartic purging of the crap they pulled in canon. I honestly don't know if I want to run this story through a plot mill. I'm still struggling with "vs. Fulcrum" and I need to focus my efforts as I'm finding I don't multi-task well with my writing endeavors.

I will say, I do enjoy reviews. As writers, we put a little piece of ourselves our there for examination with every story, every chapter we post. At least for me, each review represents a spark of joy that someone has taken the time to recognize my efforts. So, thank you for that. These days, we need to stop and appreciate the joy wherever we can find it.

Also, if "Chuck" is your thing, head over to the Chuck Fanfiction group on Facebook. A better bunch of "Chuck" nerds you will not find.