Fluff fluff fluffy fluff, oh, and smut.
I know this is a soft story but that's me and, again, GoT as a whole endured enough from the writers of the show and I want to do a 180 from that. Still, it won't be sunshine and kittens all the time it simply just won't be as extreme as the books and TV.
Anyway I hope everyone is still enjoying this ride SanSan is on. Onwards and upwards!
P.S. I live for reviews/comments :)
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When Sansa told me she loved me I could tell immediately she wasn't lying, not in the slightest. But I still don't think I allowed myself to believe the depth of her feelings, wouldn't let them sit deep within me.
Why not? Because if she changed her mind, grew out of her love for me which could be easy, it's me we're speaking of here. Or perhaps I'll fuck up, it's something I do well. Or worst of all, truly worse than anything else possible, what if I was to lose her? Illness, politics...childbirth.
I wouldn't survive any of it. I am not as strong as I thought myself to be. Not when it pertains to my little bird. She is my one weakness. Fire doesn't even concern me compared to living life without her again.
Aye, it had only been a week or so at this point since we were together for the first time, but my mind had always circled around or even dwelled on Sansa during our years apart.
That night of the celebration had been a long time coming.
All of this to say, I shouldn't have been bloody shocked when reminder, after gesture, after heart grabbing moment continued happening in the days following Jon's departure.
The first time was the morning after Daenerys, Jon and the flying lizards had left. Several of us followed them just outside of Winterfell's still crumbled walls to wish them well. I stood back and kept my eye on Sansa.
I did spare a glance towards the sickly dragon and truthfully, I was hoping for its recovery. The flying and the fire may not be my favorite traits of the beasts, but I knew we needed them both if we had any hope of ending Cersei and The Mountain.
When they had taken off, the sun was just rising over the horizon and everyone was quiet on the trek back to the grounds. After breaking our fast, the tempo of training and construction seemed to speed up considerably.
A large number of the wounded were able to either fully participate or at least help a bit and I ended up barely seeing Sansa all day. I obviously ensured her safety every time I left her in a meeting and then surveyed the goings on around Winterfell.
We were both so exhausted that night, after our respective baths, we collapsed into bed together, both of us falling asleep in minutes.
Thankfully, we had enough time the next morning for me to slide inside of her heat and make love (who would've thought that The Hound would ever do more than just "fuck"?) to her before starting the day.
Sansa had started asking her maid to only bring our meals and not to dress her. She doesn't wear too many complicated items of clothing and I am more than capable of helping her when needed.
It took some getting used to though, the first several times and hells, even now, when my fingertips would touch her skin while closing buttons or tying pieces together, we would hastily undress her again and even ended up being late to a meal and meeting...or two.
After holding her for a while and talking of our day ahead we both began getting ready. Sansa was braiding her hair when she asked me the simplest question and stopped my heart in the process.
"I forgot my necklace by the bed, can you please pass it to me, love?" We both froze for a beat before I grabbed the piece of metal and put it around her neck.
I've had a pet name for her for years but it was the first time she used one when speaking to me. It may not seem like much to most, but it's different when you've never had a bloody thing your entire life.
Neither of us mentioned it, I simply kissed her cheek and put my boots on, waiting for her to finish.
From that morning on, she called me "love" a lot when we were alone. And I fucking lived for it.
Not long after that something else happened that was like a slap to the face, forcing me to acknowledge her feelings for me.
It was late at night, I had just returned from the hot springs and Sansa was not back as of yet. I forgot to take a clean tunic with me and went into her wardrobe to retrieve one.
Once I opened the doors, I knew something had changed from that morning. I could hardly move anything, it was filled to the brim.
It didn't take long to figure out why.
The previously empty half of her closet was now stuffed with clothes of mine. Well, they weren't before, but now they were. Sansa had been measuring and fixing some clothing of mine days prior, but I didn't think on it. She must've had all of this made for me. No simple task with my size.
There were new boots as well and, tucked in the very back, my armor. The same set I wore when I saved her and later asked her to flee with me. It was shining even in the dim light and I could already tell some of the worst dents and damages were mended. That's why Gendry had spoken to me today. Fucker, now I'll have to actually try to not be an ass all the time to him.
I stood there in nothing but my breeches, blinking away the emotion that was trying to take over until I heard the door open.
As soon as I saw Sansa was alone, I stalked over to her instantly and listened for the retreating footsteps of her maid and Brienne. I had to give fucking control over to the big woman for bathing time, since I wasn't allowed in Sansa's private spring. Not yet.
When the hall was quiet I bent down and kissed Sansa soundly on her plump lips. I felt frantic, my tongue plunging in her wet mouth seeking her own and pulling moans out of her. I then trailed kisses along her cheek, across her jaw, behind her ear while I untied and removed her robe and shift. Quickly dropping to my knees when she was naked, I paid attention to her neck and teats, sucking and dragging my teeth across her pink buds until she was writhing against the door.
I licked down her taut stomach next, kissing the edge of the scar on her hip before placing another under her bellybutton in case someone was growing in there, causing Sansa to whimper.
Not being able to hold out any longer, I threw one of her legs over my shoulder and lowered my head to lick the length of her slit.
"Sandor!" She shouted. It was the first clear word she had uttered since entering her chambers.
I groaned against her wetness and used the flat of my tongue to lick her long, slow and hard, over and over, until I could feel her juices run down my face. Sansa was pulling my hair with one hand and covering her mouth with the other, trying to stifle her moans and shouts of my name.
Looking up, I caught her gaze, both of her eyes black, pupils completely blown with lust, as I sucked on her little button at the top of her cunt. Sansa's eyes rolled back in her head as she rode me as well as she could in this position and her hand did nothing to quiet her scream.
Slowly and harshly plunging two fingers into her tight hole as I latched back onto that pearl was all she needed. Sansa's body went rigid as her inner muscles squeezed my digits repeatedly, her orgasm soaking my hand down to the wrist. I kissed and licked her cunt and my hand clean before standing and carrying her to bed.
I wasted no time in placing her on the pillows, kneeling between her thighs so I could easily hitch her knees high on my waist and pushed balls deep inside of her in one stroke. Her walls were still fluttering and I didn't give either of us a moment to catch ourselves.
"Gods, yes Sandor!" Sansa cried.
Words escape me, the only sound I can manage, that carries over the sounds of our slapping skin, is a rough moan of her name.
I set a relentless pace, it's deep, and powerful yet far from fucking but we can't catch our breath and I keep my rhythm even when Sansa scratches my back, tearing the skin I'm sure.
Moving one hand from her hips, I drag my fingertips down her body to her clit and press down. Then, I met my little bird's half lidded gaze, my heart skipping a bloody beat.
"Cum Sansa, please." I half roar, half beg.
She ground her hips up to meet mine as she pulled my face down to hers to lick into my mouth and I was spilling deep inside her. My final, brutal slams as I rode out my orgasm triggered Sansa's second one and her cunt squeezed my cock so hard I almost came again.
We laid with me above her, both of us panting until I calmed enough to speak. "Thank you my little bird."
Sansa opened her eyes, her face full of confusion and stopped the caressing of my back to look at me. "Hmm? For what?"
I brushed her unruly hair behind her ears, before dragging my fingers into the silky strands. My answer was simply a nod towards the still open wardrobe.
It took a moment but I could almost see the haze leave her features as a blush and smile replaced it. "It was nothing. You needed them and I want you to feel comfortable in my space, until it's your also."
"It's far from nothing girl. I've never felt kindness nor love from another soul, especially not as well as you show both." I kissed the corner of her mouth softly. "I love you."
Sansa beams at my words. "And I love you. I never thought I would be lucky enough to love another, truly and on my own. I'm thankful everyday you came back to me."
No amount of blinking could've hid the bloody tears her admission evoked. And in a moment reminiscent, yet completely different, of a time long ago, Sansa reached up and wiped away the moisture before kissing me.
We didn't sleep much that night.
The next occurrence was so damn soon after this one and it shook me to my core. Honestly, I almost didn't believe my own eyes that night.
The night that lead me to where I am right now.
Sansa was true to her word and was overly (in my opinion) concerned about ensuring I was comfortable in her chambers and that I felt at home. I told her repeatedly that I was happy for the first godsdamn time in my life, including the time spent in her room. Truthfully, that's where I was happiest, for obvious reasons.
Perhaps she didn't believe me or, more likely, she wanted to redecorate and stay busy at all times. Whatever the cause, she commissioned her maid to help her move more items around her chambers the next morning.
They had been in there on and off all day, whenever Sansa had a free moment really. Meanwhile, Brienne had asked me to take over the training yard as she felt the soldiers needed "my touch". Because of this, I was glad Sansa had a quiet day and spent most of it behind one closed door with Tarth outside.
As soon as I saw Jamie on the hunt for Brienne I knew I could safely go to my little bird. I should've been in the springs, washing for supper but my body felt as though it was being pulled to the wing Sansa was in.
I knocked first in case she was changing or gods, I don't know. No matter how much she trusts her maid I still attempt to be careful.
"Come in." Sansa called
I slipped into her room and locked the door once I noticed it was only her present.
Every ounce of tension left my body at just the sight of her. My feet carried me across the room to sweep her into a tight hug, allowing me to inhale her sweet scent, before my brain even realized I was moving.
"Why are you working alone?" It was the only reason I wasn't overly enthused to find her without company.
She pulled back a bit, our arms still around each other. "Brienne and Martha have both just left. The door had barely closed behind them before you were knocking."
I narrow my eyes at her. "Fine. Not again though. One of them can wait until I arrive."
Sansa laughs, at what I'm not sure. "And what would you say to Brienne if she was the one still here when you arrive?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Little bird, I fucking hate to compliment her but the woman is a skilled warrior. And not only in fighting. I'm sure she's figured us out."
Sansa's eyes widened. "Oh gods. Of course she has." She sucks in a quick breath before continuing. "You mean, even that we..." She trails off looking at the bed.
It's my turn to laugh. "Aye my love. Even that."
She buries her face in my chest for a moment but her happy smile, yes I've learnt them all, is back on her face when she resurfaces. "Well, I trusted her before this and seeing as you're still alive I can't say there is much to worry about when it comes to Brienne."
"Let's hope it stays that way." I say to her before pulling her face back to mine for a languid kiss.
Sansa breaks it too soon, causing me to groan. "I know, I feel the same. But we don't have enough time, we can't be late to supper again or everyone will know." Another sweet kiss and she's leaving my grasp to finish re-packing the chest at the foot of the bed.
I move closer to help her when I see blood.
My mind doesn't pause to think over the facts and calm the hells down. I don't remember that fresh blood wouldn't be almost brown in color. Nor do I remind myself that Sansa wouldn't hide anything from me. If she was hurt or if her moonblood had come, I would know. The latter option sent a shooting stab of disappointment and pain through me at the mere possibility.
Instead, I grabbed the bloodied -what I believed to be- cloth and inspected it. One good look at the material in my hands and I knew exactly what it was.
The room was so silent I swear you could hear our heartbeats.
It takes me several minutes to wrap my head around how I was holding this cloak, my cloak, after so many years.
Sansa. My little bird.
She had kept my old, bloody cloak all this time. Through her trials and hells with the Lannisters, Littlefinger and Ramsay she had ensured to keep this close and safe.
The cloak is blurry, the wetness in my eyes to blame, and I have to clear my throat more than once before I can speak. "Is this what I believe it to be?" It was barely a whisper and I worried she didn't even hear me, no matter that she was close enough that I could feel her breath.
"Y-yes."
"Why?" I tried to ask gently, I didn't want her to feel ashamed or embarrassed at all. I simply needed to know, had I affected her as much as she did to me?
Sansa somehow got even closer to me and placed her hands over my own, which I hadn't noticed until then were shaking ever so slightly. When we both looked back up she answered.
"I didn't know at first, not the real reason anyway. I just felt this need, one that started the night you came to me, and asked me to run away with you, to protect it. There was nothing else left of you and my heart ached at the thought." Her eyes were getting glassy too.
"I took you for granted and also truly didn't realize the depths of how fortunate I was to have you. The loneliness and fear was almost too much to bear after you left. And then I began missing you, I longed to see you, talk to or even argue with you." A smile pulled at her lips at that.
"As I grew up I slowly figured out how much I cared about you. I even prayed for you. And..." She trailed off, looking to the ground.
"Tell me." I pleaded, as I moved the fingers of my free hand under her chin, making her meet my gaze again.
"I thought of you on my wedding night to Tyrion, before I knew that nothing would happen. And every time I was with Ramsay I thought of you also, of feeling good and being happy." A sad sigh escapes her. "You helped me and you didn't even know it." Her eyes close causing tears to fall.
"Is it strange that I kept it? Do you feel negatively from having found it?"
Staring at Sansa's beautiful face, wet with tears, her blue eyes as big as a doe's and hope and love shining through them, trying to blind me, I knew.
This woman loves me with her whole being and there was no turning back for either of us.
"No, little bird, of course I don't. I feel so fucking happy I can hardly believe it." I stroked her cheek with my thumb, wondering if I was dreaming. "I wish you hadn't needed a bloody cloak, I wish I had been there instead. I wish you hadn't gone through what you did. But, there's no feeling compared to finding out you cared for me all this time as I have for you."
Sansa's face splits in half in a breathtaking smile before she kisses me again. "You're here now. We'll simply make up for the lost time."
Her grin must be contagious because I felt pulling at my cheeks. "Aye, we will."
I folded and placed the cloak back in her chest and we headed to The Great Hall. Both of us were quiet, soaking in what had just happened and I felt the real change within me occur.
That shift is what drove me to saddle up Stranger and take him for a ride out of the grounds as soon as Sansa was occupied this morning. Winterfell is barely visible from my spot near a stream, overlooking the vast North, deciding how to ask Sansa if she wants to marry me.
I will understand if she never wants to be married again but I have to ask. It's all I can think and even bloody well dream of. I'll be whatever she needs, with or without titles. Yet, that doesn't take away from the fact it's the only one I've ever fucking wanted. Husband. Her husband.
I'll be overcome even if her love of the Starks and the North are her driving forces behind saying yes. There are positives there, I will take her name, being a low born. Our children will be Starks and carry on the name. Continue her father's legacy.
My nerves are shot as I push Stranger to ride as fast as his legs will take us back to the the castle. I can't wait any longer.
Sansa should be free by now and she doesn't have any other specific obligations today. I want to catch her before she tries to move more things around, next she'll be eyeing the damned windows.
I barely tie my giant black steed to a pole in the stables before I'm jumping off and striding through the halls looking for her. It doesn't take long to spot her auburn locks walking with Brienne, making their way back to Sansa's chambers. The two seem to be in good spirits by the looks on their faces.
I tread a bit harder than usual, ensuring they hear my approach as I come up behind them. They both turn at once, but Brienne situates her body just in front of her lady and gains another ounce of respect from me in the process. Fucking hells.
Sansa's face lights up like she's seen the Maiden herself when her eyes land on my tall frame. "Sandor." She greets me.
"My lady. Brienne." I nod to the blonde.
"Clegane." Her tone isn't as cold as usual. It's progress.
"Lady Stark, I was hoping to show you some suitable land to possibly expand to and gain materials from." It's not a lie. Sansa told me she had hoped to grow her childhood home for as long as she can remember. And with the mass destruction of the grounds, we will need to seek resources from farther than we have been.
The spot I sat in and sorted through my thoughts this morning is ideal for both.
My timing just may not be selfless.
Sansa eyes me for a moment, I can tell she's suspicious but any alone time we can manage has to be taken and quickly.
"I appreciate your efforts and would very much like to see this space. Shall we leave now?" She's grinning despite herself.
"Aye that would be best."
Looking to her Shield and friend. "I will find you upon my return Ser Brienne. Thank you." A pat to the taller woman's forearm and Sansa is heading over to me.
We are silent until our horses take us several minutes past Winterfell's gates.
"Are you really showing me land?" Her voice is light and happy. I want her like this every bloody second of every day.
"Why else would I drag you out here alone my lady?" I tease, quirking my one eyebrow at her.
We will see land and it's possible to also make more of said soil, trees and whatever else is needed. However, I cannot lie to her and I don't think she'll be much interested in my surveying of the area once I bring up the real reason I stole her away.
Sansa let's out a chuckle and eyes me while licking her lips. "Oh I have no idea Clegane."
After briefing me on her morning meeting, we fall silent for quite some time. Even though I just returned from here, I can't help but take in the beauty of the North. It'll never be as hot as the South but since the demise of the Ice King and his army, everything has thawed considerably and spring is trying to force its way out.
"This...this is the way Theon and I ran after we escaped." Her voice is strong yet quiet as she lets me in on yet another horror that she suffered and survived.
I wanted her to remain joyful for the day as I thought it was the right way to be for what I was about to speak on.
However, it's more important that she is comfortable and open enough with me to tell me of these things. And I can see that she's still happy, she's grown from all of the nightmareish times in her past and seems to be able to bring them up without allowing the memories to consume her.
I'll never not be awed by Sansa's strength.
"I only heard that you survived the bastard, but not the details. How did you both evade the fucker and his people?" I have to calm myself, I can almost hear the blinding anger in my tone.
She needs me to be resilient, for her. No matter if the mere thought of Ramsay makes my stomach turn and blood boil.
Sansa is quiet for a second, I'm about to apologize and ensure she knows I'll never make her share a bloody thing she's not ready to. "We jumped." She tells me, looking over her shoulder at one of the few remaining high walls of Winterfell.
My heart beats so rapidly it physically hurts. "From up there?!" I sputter.
A sad smile graces her perfect mouth. "We had no choice. Either, it was that or I was going to take my own life before Ramsay could take it from me."
"You've got balls of fucking steel little bird. You are meant to be here, to live your life exactly how you want to."
Her features morph at hearing my praise, pride and happiness returning with a vengeance. "Thank you love. I know that now. I wish Theon had been able to do the same is all. I wouldn't be here without him."
Hearing her speak of another man, no matter how stupid and selfish I am for feeling it, has jealousy burning within me hotter than any fire I've ever feared.
I didn't know the extent he had helped her, and I wasn't sure of what type of love had her mourning so publicly over his body on the pyre not long ago. The old part of me, the shit horrible part that I've tried to beat out of myself for years, felt a brief flash of relief when I had learned of the Greyjoy's death. It was one less person I had to worry about seeing her with.
"I had no idea." I take a few breaths to steady my racing pulse, I had come too close to losing her too many times.
"I don't admire many people and I give thanks to even less, but I wish I had had the chance to show both to him. I think it's the world's sick way of telling us that he did what he was meant to do. He helped saved us all my little bird, there's no real greater honor than that."
Sansa reaches a hand out and I squeeze it tightly before we complete the rest of the journey lost in our thoughts.
Once we reach the elm I sat under earlier, I dismount and tie Stranger to it. Turning to Sansa, I reach for her, lifting her down and then secure her horse a safe distance from my grumpy steed.
Sansa is already walking around, inspecting the area wit rapt interest.
"This is so beautiful Sandor. I've never seen it like this, everything has always been frozen solid."
"Aye. It may never have the searing heat of Kings Landing but the North is easier to handle in this climate."
Sansa laughs at me. "I'll make a Northern of you yet." She promises, walking over and hugging me around the waist.
I soak in her affection, taking strength from it. "Little bird, I did have other reasons for bringing you here."
Sansa lifts her head to look at me with a coy smile and slowly smoldering eyes. "You're becoming brazen Sandor, I love it." She says, biting her bottom lip.
I can't help the groan that escapes me. "Gods woman, are you trying to kill me? I would take you right here, right fucking now but that's not my reasoning at the moment."
Sansa looks at me slightly confused. "Should I be concerned? What's going on?"
I grasp her hands and keep her flush to me. "Firstly, I wanted you alone and not in bed for once. Even if it's my favorite bloody place in the realm." She calms and blushes at that.
Taking a deep, steadying breath I continue, knowing it's now or never. "I want to ensure you know how much I love you, care for you. This type of relationship is one I had never even dreamed of, it wasn't a possibility for me. Watching and wanting you from afar and then missing you, seemed to be all I would be fortunate enough to have for so long."
She starts rubbing my palms with her thumbs, comforting me as I go on. "That night, our first one together, I could hardly allow myself to have any hope that it was more than the one happy memory I had always wanted."
Sansa goes to talk but I plead with my eyes and a shake of my head. "Please let me finish my little bird." She's worried and I know it's for me as she studies my features before nodding.
"I've endured a lot of ugliness, repeatedly, throughout my life. I became one of the most skilled fighters to ever exist and killed as if it were nothing. Yet, the mere thought of losing you, it brings me to my knees, I wouldn't survive it, not now. Add in the fact I've never even had a friend until you, and a couple more now, how was I to wrap my mind around the impossible, you wanting me, desiring me...loving me?"
Out of nowhere I felt the need to kneel before her, to show her how I worship and adore her. Sansa grasps my hands even tighter as she watches me fall to the ground, looking slightly up at her perfect face. "You're so full of light and love, even after what you've suffered, and godsdamnit. I know, I feel and I believe in your love for me."
Sansa's cheek must hurt from her smile and there are unshed tears in her eyes as I continue. "I meant what I said all those days and nights ago, I'll be whatever it is you need, I'm yours, wholly. But I have to be truthful and tell you what I want as well." I gather myself not knowing how this will go next.
"I wish to marry you Sansa. Your past with marriage is horrid and if it's a union you do not want to enter into again, I understand, I do. I'll need, want, support, protect and love you every moment of every day I have left in this world, as your husband or not. But you deserve to know what has been keeping me up at night so you may make the best decision for you." No matter how badly my eyes try to cast themselves down and watch the ground I meet her intense gaze.
A sob bubbles up her throat, that heart cracking smile is still on her mouth, as the tears finally race down her cheeks. "I want to marry you as well." Sansa chokes out as she kneels with me, throwing her arms around my neck.
I swear I've heard her wrong at first. Sansa Stark wants to marry me, Sandor Clegane? "Are you sure?" My heart is trying to beat out of my chest, she must see it.
"I've never been more certain of anything in all my life. I will be the luckiest woman alive to be able to call you my husband." Sansa cups the scarred side of my face, her breathing settled now.
Finally my arms work again and I wrap them around her middle, pulling her impossibly closer as I throw my head back and let out a laugh or cheer, which I don't know. "Holy hells little bird, I've never felt so fucking good in all my days alive!" Running one hand up her back and neck into her hair I lean in and kiss the breath out of us both.
"I love you." I murmur against her lips.
"And I love you." Sansa punctuated each word with a soft kiss of her own.
She tucks herself under my chin and simple hugs me for a long while, before laughing. "Is it funny thinking about being my wife, little bird?"
Sansa pulls away to look at my face again. "Not at all, its very serious, I don't take the title lightly. That's not what I find funny." She's biting that damn lip again, trying not to smile and failing miserably.
"Out with it woman."
"You're going to be a Lord!" She splutters finally.
I close my eyes, the realization just hitting me that she is right. When we're married I'll be Lord Stark.
"Well, fuck me."