What in Thor's name is that?
"That was Thor's hammer on the altar of fricking Zeus himself in Ragnoks office! And you just lifted it to peek into the books that were locked by the god himself - in search for midget porn! And when you flipped through what in truth was the tome of THE ancient Elven Court where they described the method of how to use the Veil to return to their realm where they would live forever without age or diseases, you did not even pageflip the fucking book to the end but you stopped because you saw that Ragnok had a bottle of Ogdens Original Firewhiskey hidden in his bookshelf?" Hermione was berating her best friend Harry who laid in front of her together with his girlfriend and love of his apparently soon to be ending life, Luna Lovegood.
Harry could - again - not move any part of his body due to complete and utter mental energy depletion by having had the most galactic, all encompassing, best mind-sex a human being could possibly ever experience. Maybe Hermione was right and all this would lead to an early end by sexual exhaustion, but it was a good cause and a worthy end for the hero of wizardkind.
Lunas eyes were still rolled inwards and shone with a bright white light, just like if she had left the light on inside of her head but had gone for a walk herself to get back later. She was unresponsive, her tongue was hanging out of a corner of her stupidly smiling mouth and her breath was going like that of a dog after a very long, very hot day of playing fetch at the beach. She looked a lot taller and had more pointy ears. Small magic sparks were fizzling between her and Harry wherever they touched each other, which was a lot because she had fallen on him when their conjured couch had seized to exist some seconds after the two of them had decided to turn their brains into slaves of their limbic systems. A smell of ozone was hanging in the air.
The two of them must have had used up almost every spark of magic in them. Harrys normally hidden scars were visible and all his family rings could be seen on his hands, even the Gaunt ring that contained the resurrection stone, one of the three deathly hallows that was the source of the magic sparks. Even Harrys magic tattoos had become visible. The tattoos which were adding to his protection whenever he had to go into battle against the foes of wizards, humans or sometimes even against the wizards when they foolishly tried to invade Gringotts, following a Dragon riding incarnation of a former Minister of Magic who had been possessed by an evil spirit from the dungeon dimensions.
A tear fell from Hermiones face when she thought back of when they had lost John Watson on that day at the battle of Gringotts. In regular time it must have been only one or two months back. Watson had single handedly killed a dragon before an Avadra Kedavra had felled the best friend of Sherlock, Hermione, Harry and Luna.
Sherlock Holmes, the love of Hermiones live, had taken the loss of his most loyal and first friend ever, really bad, he had visibly began to wither away. They had spent months in intertwined time loops together, finding solace in watching and sometimes meeting their friend John Watson in his last days over and over again, without the possibility of changing the inevitable outcome.
Hermione let of a deep sigh. Again she levitated the two of her friends into the neighbouring room of her private library where she wrapped - once again - a time turner around them and activated it. They reappeared after seconds, looking like they hadn't moved, but the sizzling sparks between them had seized, Lunas breathing was normal and someone had switched the eery lights behind her eyes out. Hermione levitated them two meters to the left and repeated the procedure with her next time turner.
It took Hermione five time trip repetitions until Harry could be woken by an Enervate spell, this time Hermione had the coffee and cone already prepared. He silently sat next to the still sleeping Luna, munching down the never ending supply of food from Hermiones Magic Desk. Hermione could see the air around her friend shimmering with an oily, rainbow colored aura, that indicated that he was still refilling his magical core at full power. She had never witnessed something like that and wondered how powerful Harry truly was. Strains of magic energy flowed from the Veil towards Harry. His feet were pulling energy from the earth under him, the tattoos, his many scars and his rings had long vanished from sight.
"Hermione, please tell me the truth. Where is Sherlock?" When Harry spoke, Luna opened her eyes as well, but she kept being silent and only looked at Hermione with her overly large eyes that changed colors between silver, grey and blue.
Hermione looked like her true age was suddenly catching up with her. Deep wrinkles showed in her face. Before she had had tears in her eyes because she had suddenly grasped what her friend had done to himself to become the most powerful light wizard to protect what he regarded his true family and his friends. And how much the scars she had briefly seen before showed how often he had been betrayed by his own people and what injuries he had suffered and that he as well had mourned almost every friend that went against the forces of evil with him, John Watson had only been the last one. But speaking the truth out to Harry and Luna was even more painful than what she had felt before.
"He died! In real time he died only five days ago, in my own time it is already ten years. His heart stopped and I could not enervate him any more. The only thing I could do was to petrify him with the help of a communication mirror and a Basilisk in the department of the Untouchables. I conserved him in his death before even my faintest hope vanished." Hermione was weeping now, finally after all this time.
"I have been time looping and studying to find a way to bring him back. And here it is, as I could read in the Elven journal in your memories before you closed it shut halfways." Hermione pointed to the stone arch in the middle of the room. "The Veil of Death is a defunkt portal that leads to an ancient civilization that had spaceships and traveled the stars. They lived on earth for a while until they had too many fights with the Dwarfs, Goblins and all the other magic beings that had followed them around on their travels. They were calling themselves "Elves" or "Pharaohs" or "Immortal Kings" and regarded themselves superior beings to humans but in truth it was an immortal life form that lived inside of them like a brain parasite that had initially provided the knowledge of the technology that was compatible with the Elven magic. Some of the Elves had mixed with humans and the result was that some - if not most of humans - can do magic and are even magically more powerfull than them." Hermione pointed to Luna. "Harry, believe me, after you two exhausted yourselves, I could see Lunas true form and she looked like taken out of a Tolkien novel. Luna, your unconscious magic is making you look like you do now."
Harry wanted to say something but Hermione continued before he could say something. "Wait, before you ask, there is more to it. These parasites are not the only superior lifeform out there that once struggled over the dominance of earth because humankind is so compatible with magic. When the not possessed Elves rebelled against those that were hosts to the brain parasites, the possessed Elves began to crossbreed Dwarfs and Goblins and Humans and experimented with magic that was strong in humans. This led to other civilisations that became aware of what was happening and they all showed up here on earth. One of them was humanlike, they regarded themselves as gods and the only ones allowed to use magic. The hammer in Ragnoks office is a relic of them, and the reason why you, Harry, can lift it seems to be that you are somehow a genetic descendant of them. This explains so much about the different kinds of magics and why some family genetic strains were incompatible, resulting in Squibs.
So those Elves and almost everyone else was fighting over earth, humans sitting there in the middle of the whole mess, getting fucked all over from all sides until into the dark ages. And then suddenly, Merlin entered the stage, a human crossbreed between various magic races who could control his many aspects of magic. And he finally kicked their arses, because the Parasite infested Elves in the tome that Harry had flipped through office had gone all Panic Mode and began to evade through the Veil. The last pages that I could read in Harrys memories before he decided that getting drunk was more important than the most mind shattering discovery of humanity - were reporting that things got messy when alien vampires showed up through their own Veil and yet another so far undiscovered - non magic spacefaring super race had a misfired bioweapon on earth and were trying to reactivate it to get rid of a possible competitor that has access to magic - which they feared."
The silence stretched between the three of them for a while, only disrupted by Luna when she started to munch through Hermiones neverending food supply.
"I phink we're phuked, phis phime!" The crumbs of Luna's twentyish buttercone were flying through the Veil when she finally was the first to find back her words.
"I hate being phuked!" Harry groaned, while Luna snickered. He mimicked Lunas eating and speaking habbits.
"Harry, can we go to Ragnok and get the Elven tome and maybe even that hammer, what do you think?" Hermione looked like she had found back to her former self.
"Ragnok is for phure in hiph offiphe and I would phyay he gives a phuck about what his fellow Goblins are currently thinking, since they so cowardly ran away when a necromancer dragon and some stupid wizards laid waste to the Gringotts entry hall. There was only John, him and me standing between their extinction or bankruptcy and they conveniently forgot to thank us." Harry got up.
"This is a job that involves heavy drinking and possibly singing a little." Harry looked doubtfully to Luna.
"No problem Harry," she said, "you need at least 2 time turners for the inevitable hangover, Hermione you need to sleep, you look more phucked over than I am, so you will need another two and I will take the rest for my part of the mission. Let's meet here in a whiffy." Luna had handed them their time turners, kissed Harry and vanished with an apparation pop that had left purple, heart shaped cloud hanging in the air for some seconds.
"What's a whiffy?" Harry asked Hermione while they were both looking at the dissolving little heart in the air.
"Don't know, a short time maybe?" Hermione was not sure.
"OK then, see you in a whiffy. He gave Hermione a peck on the cheeks and popped away without a sound.
"You must know, it is impossible to apparate inside of the Ministry." Hermione said to no one in particular before she apparated into her real home to get some time turner sleep and come back in a whiffy as well.