Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
The theme songs for this chapter are from Nahuel's perspective, and they are All I Need by Within Temptation, She Couldn't Change Me by Montgomery Gentry, and Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars.
Mae has one last life-changing adventure before she reunites with Jacob, which will happen during her next chapter...
PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(
Ch 13: Willing - Mae
Year 7 - 2012-2013
June
Seth surprised Mae by going along to the airport to see her off. They were close, of course, but she'd really only expected her parents to want to say goodbye before her first solo trip.
"Did you talk to Jake?" he asked. So he'd been the one to tell Jacob about her planned trip. She'd suspected, but this practically confirmed it for her.
"And here I was thinking you were here to say bye to me," Mae huffed, bumping his shoulder with her fist.
"You know I'll miss you. You're my only niece. But I have to ask for his sake. Did -"
"Yes," she muttered, speaking low, and grateful that the airport was so loud her parents couldn't listen in from where they stood some distance away talking to Alice. "We talked."
"He didn't say anything?" Seth asked, forehead pinched in confusion. Had he not asked his packmate himself how the conversation went?
"He said he wants me happy," she said darkly, annoyed that Jacob had bothered to call at all. Life was so much more straightforward when they just didn't talk at all. The ground didn't go and shift right out from under her when they were ignoring each other.
"I'm sorry, Mae, I know this doesn't involve me, but -"
Mae cut him off, hissing, "Don't act like I was the one stopping us. It was never me before - but now it is. He's with Natalie - still. I think that says plenty. Certainly more than he's capable of saying. And I want to try with Nahuel - I need this. I think he knows that."
"He probably does. Would it make a difference if he wasn't with her?" Seth tentatively questioned, opening his mouth to add something, then deciding against it.
"Honestly? I don't know at this point. Like I said, I know I want to try with Nahuel. He's always been clear with me, and I'm really excited to see him. But when I talk to Jacob, things get jumbled. Besides, we've been apart for so long. We're different people now. I doubt we'd even fit together at this point."
"I think you'd be surprised. From my point of view, you've grown together despite the distance," Seth stated, confirming a suspicion she'd already harbored.
"And yet it doesn't matter," she said, resolved to leave Jacob in the past - where he belonged.
"And yet it doesn't," he echoed sadly.
She'd come to terms with how things were between them a long time ago. It seemed to be everyone else that hadn't. Okay, not everyone. But Seth and Leah certainly. The rest of her family left well enough alone.
Months went by where she didn't think of Jacob at all, but one of his pack mates would inevitably rub him in her face and it would be like she was getting over her crush all over again.
Seth's worry and concern were etched clearly across his face. The sight prompted her to speak. "Nahuel is like me. And he's been a good friend over the years - always there for me," she reiterated, highlighting why she firmly believed he was the right choice for her.
"Are you settling?"
"I don't know," Mae admitted. It was a private fear she'd had, but honestly, if they didn't suit, it wasn't like she didn't have time to find someone else someday. The rush of her youth to find love had dissipated, replaced with other passions and pursuits. That wasn't to say she didn't want it, and wouldn't embrace the opportunity if things with Nahuel went well. But it was more important that she embrace the journey and see for herself what potentially waited for her. "I can't know if I don't try."
Before she knew it, she'd said goodbye to her parents, Seth and Alice, and was through security, preparing to embark on a trip that would no doubt change her life - one way or another. There was a gift from Rose tucked away in her luggage that she was trying not to think about, and probably wouldn't ever wear, but it was there nonetheless.
Today, she wasn't following someone else's lead as her life happened, she was the one taking charge and in control as she charted her course.
June
Arriving in Chile seemed a little more overwhelming this time than it had either time in the past. None of her family was there to usher her through Customs or baggage claim. It seemed louder and busier this time. Nerves and anticipation clamoured in her stomach, turning it over and over like a dryer on a spin cycle. Luckily, she'd been through each of the airports she stopped at a couple times previously, and didn't have to figure out how to navigate in a timely manner. She only barely made her connecting flight, the layover was so short, and that was despite her prior knowledge of the layout.
Nahuel had sounded uncomfortable with the idea of meeting her at the airport. Apparently, there'd been some sort of mayhap the last time he'd been when leaving or returning from visiting Jennifer. Mae wasn't clear on the details, but she didn't really mind getting a little time to check in at her hotel and freshen up before going to meet him at the top of San Cristobal Hill.
The instant she saw him, she felt the way her face stretched into a wide grin. He was dressed unabashedly in the style that he'd worn for the last one hundred and fifty years - animal skins, fur, and sandals with his lean chest exposed. He was a sight to behold. Taking him in fully, with a new appreciation, left her feeling light and giddy.
She almost laughed as he prowled closer, particularly when she noted a few people taking pictures of him, probably thinking he was in costume for some reason or another. Nahuel seemed oblivious to the attention he was receiving, Mae being the sole focus of his attention.
"Renesmee," he said as he approached. "You're more exquisite than I ever dreamed you would grow to be."
The second he was close enough, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. Her breath caught at the full body contact. Wow. Talk about intense. It felt so much more electric than what any of the human guys she'd gone out with in the last two years had managed to ignite within her.
He lingered, seeming unwilling to part with her, and his hands were more familiar than she'd expected, slipping low and sliding familiarly over her hips when he finally released her, though he remained firmly within her personal space.
Perhaps she should have anticipated this. He'd made it clear that he was inviting her to visit so they could embark on a romantic relationship, but her brain felt a bit scrambled and was struggling to catch up. Must be jet lag.
"Thanks. I'm really glad you invited me," she murmured when she noted the smirk he was leveling at her. So he was aware of the effect he was having on her, and seemed to be taking an immense amount of satisfaction from it.
Great. So glad she could amuse him as she swooned over him like a schoolgirl with her first crush.
"I already booked a hotel room, and dropped my bags off," she said, looking for something to fill the silence and break the ice. "Are you staying in town with me, or… "
"You want me to share your room?" Nahuel murmured, moving imperceptibly closer as he asked.
"No!" she squeaked, inching back, and feeling a bit like a mouse with a cat on its tail. He frowned at the adamant refusal. "Uh, no, that's not what I meant. I just wondered where you plan to sleep," she corrected herself, taking a deep breath to gather her composure.
"I've made my own arrangements," he assured, smirking at his ability to unsettle her so easily. His pleasure at her reaction to him only seemed to be intensifying.
"Uh, good. Great," she stammered.
The next several hours were spent wandering through Santiago, and catching up on everything they hadn't included in their texts. They started with the zoo since it was closest, and continued down through the streets afterwards.
Immediately, Mae was aware of the difference in the way he looked at her. It remained almost predatory. Almost as if he was barely restraining himself from pouncing on her. Never had she felt as desirable as he made her feel in that single afternoon. In addition to that, they walked with his arm encircling her waist. It felt like a possessive brand, and one not entirely unwelcome. The heat of his touch was so much more alluring than that of human or vampire skin, and the desire behind it was so blatant. It was a rush.
And it was so different spending time with someone she could be open and honest with. Someone that she'd shared intimate details of her life with over the years. He was already part of her life, already had a place. There was already a connection between them, and it was expanding rapidly.
All too soon, however, Mae had to call it a day. The series of flights had zapped her energy, and the jolt she'd gotten from reuniting with Nahuel had faded after a couple hours. They made plans to meet the next morning. Mae didn't even bother to change before sprawling across her bed and falling asleep.
They were stopped trying to enter an art museum that Mae had been rapturising about all morning. Apparently, they had a dress code and shirts were required for entry. It was at that moment, that she realized Nahuel didn't blend in with humans, despite his increased ability to. It was certainly easier for him than it was for her parents, yet he seemed disinclined to try.
Earlier, while they toured the city, she'd noticed all the strange looks his attire got. They were even more pronounced than the day before, since they were walking through downtown Santiago, a rather large city, but not one like New York where the strange and unusual hardly made a person blink twice. It made her self-conscious, and a little afraid. Would this draw the attention of the Volturi?
They were the Boogeymen of her childhood. The events of her first year, and even the second when Edward was absent, were forever branded upon her. An indelible reminder to never cross them.
Despite her fear of drawing the unwanted attention of the ruling vampires, mostly, she just accepted that it was who Nahuel was. And she actually admired his ability and commitment to being precisely who he was with no artifice. It made him more unique than most of the guys she'd met in college. It also enabled her to embrace her own dual nature more fully, rather than attempting to be entirely one thing or another.
"I'm sorry, Renesmee," he apologized when he realized she'd not get to visit the museum because of him.
"It's okay," she said lightly, shrugging it off, and coming up with a new plan on the spot. "Now we have time to go back and check out that park we passed on the way here. I could take some pictures," she suggested, patting the camera bag slung over her shoulder.
They'd begun walking down the steps, but as they passed a fountain, he caught her hand, spinning her to face him. Immediately, one of his arms encircled her waist while his hand cradled her cheek. In the fraction of a second it took her to process what was happening, his lips descended to meet hers.
Every inch of her body came alive. The jittery excitement that had been missing from every other kiss she'd had over the last two years was finally present. It was intense. He used his considerable strength to pin her to his chest, caging her against him and surrounding her with his presence. Inescapable.
He tasted of blood, though his lips remained firmly closed even when the tip of her tongue traced against them. The forbidden taste of ambrosia made flames flare to life in her throat, leaving her thirsty when he broke away. Only his head drew back. The rest of his lean, wiry body remained tightly pressed against her.
"Was that all right?" he asked quietly, the question not really registering between the thirst and sensation.
"Hmm?" she hummed, focusing on her breathing. It was shallow and erratic, as if she'd just run miles and miles with her family, desperately trying to keep up.
"You won't regret choosing me."
"I don't," Mae said, surprised he felt the need to make such a declaration.
He kissed her again, every bit as roughly as the first time, and every bit as chastly. Her head spun dizzyingly. It left her breathless, and floundering. Mae hands gripped his arms, desperate to anchor herself to the moment lest gravity lose its hold on her and she float away, lost in the universe.
A knowing smirk played about Nahuel's lips when they parted, and she wondered why he seemed so much less affected by her than she was by him. Maybe it was a male-female thing. She was still learning to differentiate those nuances.
Afterwards, they walked in the park, feeding the ducks gathered in the pond, and taking pictures of the people strolling and the pickup soccer game being played by a group of teenagers. They talked all the while, Nahuel sharing more about his decision to part from Huilen for the duration of Mae's visit. Turned out that Huilen particularly disliked Mae because she was proof that her beloved sister could have survived Nahuel's birth. The fact that she hadn't, made Huilen feel like a failure, and she put all of that negative emotion on Mae.
There weren't really words to express her condolences. No one had ever hated her for not being a monster. It wasn't something she really knew what to do with. Perhaps just listening to Nahuel and being a sympathetic ear would be enough.
A couple days later, Nahuel surprised Mae by appearing in the lobby of her hotel dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. His traditional braid had vanished as well, replaced with a bun at the nape of his neck that disguised the long length. He looked supremely uncomfortable, yet undeniably modern. Not to mention seriously satisfied when he noted her reaction. He truly enjoyed surprising her.
"Why?" she breathed, already missing his familiar appearance that she'd come to admire for its honest representation of him. He was not like everyone else. His past had shaped and defined him. And he wore the evidence like armour or a badge of honor.
"For you. To fit into your world," he said, pulling her against him and taking her lips in a fierce kiss.
Since the first time, he made a point to steal her lips every chance he got, seeming to love how each and every time she melted against him. It had taken two full days before she realized why he'd refused to open his mouth. Venom. Nahuel was venomous, and properly kissing her could kill her. She'd finally asked about it, knowing it wasn't an issue for Alice and Seth, but he'd stated quite clearly that just being near her made venom pool in his mouth.
"Nahuel, you don't need to change. Not for me," Mae said breathily, struggling to order her thoughts and present her argument in the wake of his hello.
That's not how relationships worked. Not in her world. They were successful because each person respected the other - they didn't try to force the other to fit into a specific ideal they had in their head. It was precisely because of that failing that Edward and Bella hadn't lasted.
"I want to take you to that museum. Wearing a shirt is an easy concession to make, if it allows me to give you what you want," Nahuel said, brushing her concern aside. His fingers traced over her lips, the warmth of the caress distracting.
"I like you - just the way you are," Mae insisted, trying to make him see.
Nahuel kissed her again, stealing her breath and the fight right out of her.
"You will accept this," he said autocratically, the one flaw in him that she was quickly tiring of. Mae was not one to be bossed around. She was no weak-willed simpleton. "Shall we go?" he asked, distracting her by bending his head to whisper the words in her ear. A chill went down her spine. Amplified when he pulled back, taking his comforting heat with him.
Not knowing what else to say, Mae allowed him to guide her back to the museum.
July
Her two week trip had already been extended to four weeks then later six. For as long as she could get away with, Mae intended to stay and get to know Nahuel. But time was quickly running out. She could only delay returning for so long unless she was willing to give up school - and that was something she had no desire to do. Not for anyone.
Their days were filled with little adventures. She'd done so many things she'd never imagined herself doing. He pushed her boundaries. Insisted she try new things. Then there was the intimacy of their budding relationship. Heated touches, and probing kisses. Stolen caresses in private. The first time he'd attempted to take things further, he'd felt her involuntarily tense and immediately backed off. He didn't mention it or behave differently, and she appreciated his willingness to take that side of things a little slower.
The flip side of his chivalry was an awareness of his questionable morales in every other aspect of his life. A particular interaction from the week before sprung to mind as she considered what it meant.
"Where did you get this?" she asked, amazed as she looked at the brand new camera bag filled with probably several thousand dollars worth of supplies, as well as a brand new Canon camera.
This wasn't the first gift he'd given her either. Every couple days he showed up with a generous new token for her. Silk scarves hand-woven. Necklaces decorated with precious stones. Glittering hair combs. A sleek leather jacket. He didn't listen when she asked him not to. Bella's aversion to gifts was well known in the family, and growing up hearing her insistence that gifts were overkill, when they already had so much made her grow to dislike them as well - much to Edward's annoyance.
So far the question of money hadn't come up before. He let her pay when a place they visited required it, but aside from that, Mae knew he didn't work. Never had. Yet as she looked at the fortune in camera equipment laid out before her, she had to wonder where he'd gotten the funds to afford it. To afford any of it.
"I took it," he said simply, not displaying an ounce of guilt or remorse.
"You what?" Mae demanded. "Nahuel!" she cried, aghast at the idea of stealing.
"I wanted it. And now I have it," he said, making it clear he believed she was overreacting. It was the same expression Edward often wore if Bella or Mae behaved too much like a human, or expressed human opinions.
"That's not how the world works. Someone probably worked hard to earn this, and now it's gone. You have to give it back," Mae insisted, not oblivious to the absurdity of her, a girl only barely grown, trying to teach someone over a hundred and fifty years old right from wrong. Things he should have been taught long ago.
Mae recalled her childish hope of one day fixing him. Well, this was as good a place as any to get started with that.
"He no longer needs it," Nahuel agruged, his eyebrows lifting pointedly as he watched her, waiting for comprehension to take hold.
"You killed him," Mae whispered, horrified. Tears formed in her eyes as she wondered how many others he'd murdered in order to obtain the gifts he continuously showered her with. They were all tainted now. Soaked in blood that would forever stain them.
Oh god. What was she doing here? This would never work.
"You sound surprised. Why? I was thirsty, and he had something I wanted. It was a win-win - isn't that what you Usanians call it?"
He was right. This shouldn't come as news to her. She'd always known he hunted humans, drinking their blood. But before it had seemed more an abstract concept. One that was easily overlooked when the evidence wasn't staring her in the face.
"I guess I just forgot," she said quietly, stepping back in avoidance when he reached to hold her.
"Forgot that I, like you," he added pointedly, "am part vampire? That I survive on human blood. These people, all of them, are food. When I am thirsty, I drink, and one dies. But look around, there are so many. The world will hardly miss the loss of one," he said, shrugging.
"The people who love them mind. How can you be so dismissive?" she demanded, crossing her arms and backing up further. The last thing she wanted was his hands on her when he was fresh from ending a life.
Mae couldn't believe she'd ever once considered hunting humans herself - even just to try it. The horror she felt right now would have surely stopped her even if Edward hadn't interfered or Bella hadn't reminded her of the consequences.
"You're angry with me," he stated, truly surprised.
"Yes! Yes, I am," Mae hissed, infuriated by his cavalier attitude.
"You would have me stop? Stop and do things your way?" Nahuel questioned, studying her intently. His face was pinched, clearly disliking the idea, but at least willing to have a conversation about it.
Mae thought it over for a long time. Bella's words floated through her head, a smoky reminder of the past only so much more substantial. The situation reminded her of addicts. They couldn't quit for anyone but themselves. If the decision wasn't intrinsically motivated, it didn't stick. Significant lifestyle changes couldn't happen for any reason other than because the person wanted to change.
"I… no. That would have to be your decision. You can't do it for me. But I don't want any part in your murders," Mae finally said, determination making her stand straighter.
"Let's make a deal. If you try things my way -"
"I'm not hunting humans," Mae interrupted to protest.
"I'm aware that you finally made that decision for yourself," Nahuel said dryly, one side of his lips tipping up in a half smile.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mae asked angrily, pissed and confused about what he was implying.
"For so long you let your family make your choices for you. Now you've finally made the decision for yourself - that was all I ever wanted for you. But we digress," he said, going on before she had a chance to interject about what he'd just said. Although, she couldn't really argue with what he'd said. He'd known her for so long, and she'd confessed so many secrets over the years that he truly understood her. Perhaps better than anyone else. "As for the deal, I want you to try taking something you want - regardless of silly human laws. If you do, I will try hunting animals," he offered. The idea both tantalizing and forbidden.
No one had to get hurt. And no human was strong enough to stop her.
"What do you want me to take?" she asked quietly.
"You love cars. I've seen the way you watch them," he commented, stepping closer.
Between Edward and Rosalie, it was bound to happen. Edward took any excuse he could find to purchase new ones, and Rosalie enjoyed discovering their inner workings and making modifications to improve them. Mae tended towards the latter, spending countless hours this last year with her aunt in the garage working on one or more of their numerous vehicles just for fun. Buying things was too frivolous for her to truly appreciate.
"Yes," she agreed.
"Take one," Nahuel said persuasively, almost seductively. Mae shivered at the command, swallowing thickly.
"I have no reason to. My family has money. If I wanted a car, I'd buy it - not hurt someone else by -" she tried to refute.
"You're missing the point," he interrupted, frowning. "I want you to try things my way, and I'll try yours. Take a chance. Live a little - be adventurous," he said, bending until his lips almost just touched her neck. His breath fanned against her skin, and a gasp escaped her lips. Nahuel began to trace his lips down the length of her neck.
"I'm adventurous!" she squeaked, having almost forgotten to respond once he began distracting her.
"Prove it," he challenged, recalling her weakness.
Mae was still completely unable to resist a challenge of any sort. Always had been.
That was how she found herself sitting behind the wheel of a car that didn't belong to her three hours later. She'd used Rose's teachings, and deliberately picked an older car that she knew she could hotwire, and she proceeded to do just that.
"How do you feel?" Nahuel asked.
"Alive," she admitted. There was no other way to describe the adrenaline pumping steadily through her veins.
"My father is right about one thing - we are the superior species. Don't let yourself be held back by arbitrary human rules that can't ever possibly apply to you," Nahuel said wisely, leaning back in his seat to watch her drive.
"Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should," she denied. The pleasure she'd taken in showing him she could do this diminishing as reality set back in.
True to his word, Nahuel had tried hunting animals afterwards. To say he'd been dissatisfied with the experience was a remarkable understatement. But he'd still done it - for her.
Part of her was concerned about all the changes he was making to his person on her behalf. It wasn't fair of her to expect him to be anything other than what and who he was. Part of why she'd liked him in the first place was that he was true to himself. Yet he brushed off her concerns whatever she mentioned anything about it, insisting it was no big deal.
In the end, she stopped bringing it up. Choosing to enjoy their time together instead.
They'd done other things too, legal things even. Such as making a film while using vamp abilities and speed. No one outside the family would ever be able to see it, but it had been fun to make the trip outside the city one day and shot the various scenes. She'd worked on editing it at night before bed, and it was almost finished.
Today they'd actually stayed in her hotel room, so she could work on it instead of adventuring out into the city.
"Will you stay with me?" Nahuel asked suddenly, catching her off guard. That question was the very last that Mae expected him to ask of her.
"I have to go back soon. School starts in a few weeks," she said sadly. As much as she'd hate it, they'd have to try to make things work long distance. It was only two years. They'd manage. Because really, what was two years in the face of eternity.
"You won't even consider it?" he asked.
"No. I'm sorry, but I want to finish school too much, and I don't want to leave my friends or family." Mae got up from the room's desk and went over to sit beside him on the bed. Immediately, he took her hands, squeezing as he met her eyes.
"Hmm. I see. Then I will return with you," he stated.
"What are you talking about? Your whole life is here. You really don't need to move. We can visit during holidays, and talk on the phone more. We can -"
"I want to be wherever you are. Not sometimes, but always," Nahuel insisted, releasing her hands to wrap his arms around her. "And I'd like to be with your family. I'd like that very, very much."
"Oh, wow," Mae breathed, hugging him back automatically. "You can't just decide on a whim to move to a new country," she refuted.
"It's my life, and I want it to be with you and yours," he insisted. "Why be apart when we don't have to be? Eventually, we will be together always - why not start now?"
"What do you plan on doing in Wyoming? I'm still in school," she started, listing the first flaws she could think of with his spur of the moment plan.
"I've never been to college. Perhaps I would like it if I tried," Nahuel said easily, then more firmly, "This is my decision."
"I'll call Papa, and see if he can help get you enrolled," she breathed, scanning his face to be sure he was serious.
"You caved quicker than I expected," Nahuel said smugly.
What was the point? Nahuel had this way of talking circles around her until she inevitably gave in. He knew how to make even the craziest thing sound logical. Mae knew he wasn't gifted, but sometimes she could swear he possessed some ability of persuasion.
"I don't exactly like the idea of distance while we're still figuring things out, so you didn't have to try very hard," she said dryly, scrolling through her contacts and pressing Jasper's name. "Papa?" she said, the instant the connection was made.
"Hello, Poppet," he chuckled.
"Nahuel is going to come back with me. Is there any way you can help him enroll at UW with me for this fall?" she asked tentatively, biting nervously on her thumb nail as she waited for him to reply.
"Ah, I see," he said with so much hidden meaning that her eyes rolled helplessly.
"Papa," she groaned.
"I'll have the arrangements made by the time your flight lands at the end of the week," he promised, reminding her, "I love you, Mae."
"You're the best! Thank you," she cried, meeting Nahuel's answering grin.
August
The family welcomed Nahuel without question or effort. Esme offered a room in the main house for him to stay in - provided he did not hunt nearby. Mae tried to tell everyone that he'd switched to an animal diet, but Edward gave her a telling look that revealed Nahuel had found human blood too much of a temptation to continue resisting - even for her sake. Well, the deal had been for him to try. They'd said nothing of making it a permanent transition, and she'd known doing it for her wouldn't be enough. Nahuel agreed to hunt elsewhere, and nothing else was said on the matter.
The day before classes started, Mae arrived at the main house to find Nahuel had cut off all of his long hair.
"What have you done?" Mae asked, startled at the sight.
"Men around here don't ordinarily wear their hair long. I wish to fit in," Nahuel explained, stepping away when she leaned up to kiss him.
Mae was starting to notice a pattern. He wouldn't touch her in any way if they were near her family - not even a hug or to hold her hand.
"Not all of them wear it short," she denied, moving to touch the shorn locks, and after he deftly avoided her touch again, angrily adding, "and are you forgetting that you aren't from here? Looking like a carbon copy doesn't automatically make you fit in. Besides, fitting in is overrated. I just want you to be you."
"This seemed a necessary sacrifice," Nahuel said, glancing nervously at her hand still inches from his hair. "Don't be distressed - I'm not."
"Then let's talk about why you won't touch or kiss me," she fired off.
"Your fathers… " he said, trailing off and shrugging uncomfortably. He had to be kidding her. Nahuel was afraid of her fathers? He was nearly as old as Jazz and older than Edward!
"Are you saying you fear their retribution?" she goaded, attempting to wound his pride and get him to stand up to them for her. He'd have to eventually, so why not go ahead and get it over with.
"Yes," he said frankly.
"They wouldn't," she insisted. Explaining, "They know we're together. They're prepared to deal and not cause a fuss."
"I'd rather not put it to a test," he said formally, shifting stiffly.
"Ever?" she asked, alarmed by the prospect.
"I'm sorry, but when we're here or around them, no," he said stoically. "Do not push the matter again," he commanded.
Well wasn't that just wonderful… What was she supposed to do with that?
October
Nahuel was a contradiction. One that was driving her mad.
Half the time he went out of his way to be like everyone else, and deliberately altered himself to be part of her world. The rest of the time, he was reckless, using vampiric speed in front of her friends, then acting dismissive when she warned him to be careful.
Their first major fight had come when he suggested killing Trinity if she kept watching him as closely as she had been lately. Nahuel never seemed to mind hanging out with her college friends, all of whom thought he was gorgeous and exotic. But his stance made it clear he believed they were beneath him, expendable, and not worthy of being considered his friends.
It was baffling to her. They hung out on campus together, often having lunch together or going to parties as a group. Nahuel had immersed himself in the college life, attending all of the lectures and events that he could. Basically everything she'd spent the last two years telling him that she loved to do. Yet he still couldn't see humans as more than walking blood bags - even the ones she loved.
It was obvious that their time in Chile was like living in a bubble. One that popped almost immediately after returning to Wyoming.
Rose said that was because Nahuel was nothing more than a summer fling. Her first taste of real romance and a first love. That it was never intended to last, and she'd regret forcing it, insisting it would taint the good memories she had, but she didn't want to believe that was possible, so she ignored Rose's warning and dire predictions.
It had taken a few weeks, but Mae had slowly come to the realization that Nahuel needed her. This world was foreign to him, and he relied on her to help him navigate it, often looking to her whenever he was uncertain in a social situation. He took cues from those around them, but the majority of his actions were based on her wants and desires. If he didn't seem so content, it would concern her more. But he did. He laughed freely and often. So she went with it. All the while wondering if this was somehow healing the damage of his youth. If it was, then being together was a good thing for more than just the obvious reason.
"Are we going to that party?" he whispered, referring to the party Trinity was talking to her new boyfriend, Carlos, about.
"You want to spend an evening hanging out with lowly humans?" Mae leaned in to ask, partially wondering if he was serious. A costume party didn't seem like it'd be his thing.
"They're growing on me," he said lightly, and she almost believed him.
"I'd like to, but only if you're sure," she agreed.
"Yes, Renesmee, I'll take you. And maybe afterwards, we can slip away to hunt. It's a sight I will never tire of," he suggested. The idea caught her interest at once. Partly because it meant for that week, at least, he'd refrain from disappearing to hunt humans. Plus, it'd be more time away from the house when he'd actually be willing to touch her. Then there was the simple fact that she liked knowing he enjoyed watching her do something as basic as feeding.
He'd watched her hunt before, eyes filled with lust. It made her feel powerful. And wanted. She'd welcome his presence anytime. Particularly after his repeated rebuffs when they were near her family. He'd not budged an inch on touch while around them - despite witnessing how the others freely touched and kissed their mates.
"What are you guys whispering about over there?" Trinity asked.
"I'm trying to convince Renesmee to wear a sexy little costume for me on Halloween," Nahuel replied, the words making Mae's mouth pop open in shock.
"Yeah, right!" Trinity snarked.
"She never shows off like that," Jackie agreed, chuckling.
It was true. Mae never wore overly revealing clothing. Even when they went out. Her looks already drew enough attention. She didn't particularly wish to draw anymore, preferring to focus on other things instead when interacting with people.
"You two don't think you could convince her - for my sake?" Nahuel asked, giving his best puppy eyes. The two girls melted at the sight.
"I bet we could come up with something she'd go along with," Jackie said, giving Mae a hopeful look.
Guess she'd be dressing up this year. It certainly wasn't the most daring thing he'd asked of her. Perhaps she should be grateful.
"Well? Sexy enough?" Mae asked, twirling in a circle then glancing down at her costume. A black corset with a short red skirt and a red hooded cloak. The corset was Rose's and the skirt was Alice's, and considering she was noticeably shorter than Mae, the skirt was practically miniscule on her. The only thing she'd had to pick up was the cloak to finish off her Little Red Riding Hood look.
"I could eat you up," Nahuel said, moving to kiss her, his hands slipping down her back to cup her butt and pull her tighter against him.
They'd met on campus, and Mae felt a little uncomfortable with the way he was groping her in the yard of a frat house. At least she wasn't the only one with a handsy guy in the immediate vicinity.
"So you like it then," she teased, running a finger down his bare chest, and using her palm to push away from him a little. She loved that he'd decided to wear his old clothes tonight and pretend it was a costume. He'd been wearing modern clothes for so much of their time together that she was starting to forget he'd once dressed differently.
"Yes, though I'd like it more if you'd picked something with me in mind," he said casually, hands beginning to roam up towards her chest.
"I did - you said we were hunting later, so…" she explained, pulling free of him. It took a moment, then, when combined with his earlier comment, she understood. "Oh, I get it," she breathed, meeting his eyes.
"You really weren't thinking of Jacob?" he asked, surprised.
Not once had they discussed Jacob in the last year. As Mae and Jake's conversations tapered off to nothing, she mentioned him less and less to Nahuel. He knew she used to have the biggest crush on the wolf, but Mae assumed he'd believe she got over it when she stopped talking about him. Either he'd not forgotten, or someone in her family had given him a reason to believe there was still something between her and Jake.
The idea that he was jealous brought home the fact that they had some growing pains. This misunderstanding was her fault for not speaking up sooner to clarify.
"No, I don't think about him," Mae said, attempting to rectify the situation. She opened her mouth to explain further, but he spoke before she could.
"All right. Are you ready to go in then?" he said, brushing the whole misunderstanding away as if it were nothing and needed no further discussion. If things had been reversed, she'd have needed far more reassurance.
It was yet another example of their growing pains. There was something just a little bit off between them. But, she chalked it up to being normal, and just how it was in the beginning of a new relationship. It wasn't like she'd ever let it get to this point before to know any better.
They went into the party, and while it was fun, their conversation beforehand lingered, unsettling her with the thoroughness of eating spoiled food. In the end, she begged off hunting, just wanting the night to end so they could start anew in the morning.
December
Mae was ready to pull her hair out. Stress had tightened her muscles into knotted springs. Finals were the next week, and she was nowhere near ready for them. She had projects and papers due in every class, and she'd not even started most of them. Nahuel consumed the majority of her time. And when she wasn't with him, she was working at the gallery or out with other friends.
Apparently balance was a skill she did not possess, and would need to learn. Jasper said Bella was the same so at least she came by it honestly - not that it helped her any. She had to get a handle on things. Quickly too, if she didn't want to fail her classes.
The only positive, was the note she'd found when she got home from her last class of the day.
Renesmee,
Jazz and I are spending the weekend on a long hunting trip. We'll be back Monday or Tuesday. Take advantage of the lack of distractions, and good luck with your work. We love you.
Mom
Mae was still clutching the missive when she scented Nahuel's approach. He came up behind her, reading the note over her shoulder as his arms encircled her waist. Shock at the unexpected contact froze her. From the way his face was pressed against her neck, she could feel when he smiled at the meaning of the words. Oh. No interruptions. No need to worry about her fathers.
Oh! The letter suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
"Hmm. The place to ourselves," he remarked meaningfully.
"Unfortunately, she's right. I need to get some work done," Mae sighed, tilting her head back to rest against his shoulder, reluctant to abandon this rare moment.
"You're wound far too tight to focus. Let me help with that," he coaxed, his fingers flicking open the button on her jeans.
Mae sucked in a sharp breath, her heart beginning to race. Nahuel paused, waiting for her to object, but when she didn't, he eased his dark hand down her stomach and farther, disappearing beneath the fabric.
Every inch of her vibrated with anxious tension. They'd never done this before. Never done anything more than kiss throughout their seven month relationship. He'd sensed she wasn't ready and hadn't pushed.
But now… why shouldn't she allow this? Just imagining what it would feel like was wonderful. Every new stretch of skin his hand passed over electrified. It was time.
She hardly dared to breathe as anticipation set in. Butterflies fluttered and danced in her middle, a flurry of activity. Nahuel's breathing sounded as rough as her own as he exhaled by her ear.
"Oh!" Mae exclaimed when he boldly cupped her, using the heel of his palm to apply firm pressure and friction against the little bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.
The tip of his finger slowly traced her entrance, dipping teasingly in then returning to tracing the opening. Nahuel chuckled an almost purring sound when she moaned and rolled her hips, seeking out more contact with his hand.
"That's it, my Renesmee. Rub yourself against me. Take what you want," he encouraged, his voice a heated caress against her ear.
Tentatively, she rocked her hips, pressing against his hand. He rewarded her by slipping his finger deeply inside her channel, pulling out only to plunge back in over and over again.
"Mmh," Mae moaned again, her head falling forward. Nahuel's other arm looped around to cup and knead her breast, holding her tightly against him and arousing her further.
His arms were the steel safety harnesses that held one in on a rollercoaster. That's what it felt like they were doing. Riding a rollercoaster. Inching higher and higher, anticipation rising with them, preparing for the inevitable plummet ahead.
For several aching minutes, Nahuel played her body, strumming it like a guitar. All the while, Mae ground against his hand, riding the building friction. At some point, her hands came up to grip his arms, her nails digging in as she held on tightly.
Then suddenly all the tension and stress shattered, falling away like the jagged pieces of a broken window. Her breathing was as ragged and fractured as the shards freeing her. Only Nahuel's arms held her upright and prevented her from face-planting.
Nahuel placed a gentle kiss on her neck. The small action bringing her back to the present. A memory of a conversation years ago with her Aunt Rose surfaced murkily in her mind. Something about reciprocity.
Slowly, Mae slipped her rubbery, practically boneless hands over the length of Nahuel's arms. Turning, she continued to trace her shaky fingertips over his chest and down towards the waistband of his pants, but he caught her pale hands in his larger ones, stopping her.
"This was probably more overwhelming and significant than you've allowed yourself to acknowledge. Let's leave this as all about you for tonight. We can revisit me tomorrow," he suggested, giving her the tenderest look he ever had before. It made her breath catch for the uptenth time since he'd arrived.
"Yeah, um, okay," she agreed, still dazed from the flood of endorphins her climax had released.
"I'll leave you to your work, then, shall I? You seem to be more relaxed, so perhaps now you can focus," he said, his trademark smirk returning.
Once she was alone in the house, Mae made her way into the living room and sunk onto the sofa. Her legs still felt a little unsteady.
So that just happened. Mae's scattered thoughts slowly gathered, returning gradually in bits and pieces. Including one naggingly persistent one filled with disappointment that the experience hadn't been more romantic. Standing, fully clothed in her parent's kitchen was hardly the stuff of dreams and fairytales even if it had felt nice during the moment.
The Monday after her first two finals was a little better. That at least involved the couch. She'd stopped him from going into her bedroom, worried she'd get caught up in the moment and things would go too far if they were already in bed.
They'd spent the weekend apart. She'd avoided him because she really did have to focus, and there wasn't time for anything else. The delay seemed to make this encounter seem even better. The wait, unintentional foreplay.
The best part had been when he'd allowed her to explore and pleasure him, she'd enjoyed herself immensely. There was power in making a strong man come so completely undone, and knowing she was the one responsible for it. Not to mention, the way his body had responded to her was fascinating.
Despite that, she had to admit there was something lacking. Being with Nahuel wasn't epic. There was desire, but perhaps not true passion. Things were a little too forced. They were just a little too different. And always she felt guilty that he was trying so hard to change in order to fit into her world. She'd tried to change for him too, but it often made her too uncomfortable to ditch her morales so completely as he preferred.
Not ten minutes after Nahuel left, however, Edward arrived. This was the first time she could recall seeing him at the cabin she shared with Bella and Jasper. He wouldn't look at her. That alone told her all she needed to know.
"We are not having this conversation," Mae stated firmly.
"His thoughts were practically screaming at me," Edward said tonelessly, head turned to stare at the wall. Anywhere but directly at his daughter. No wonder Nahuel had so adamantly refused before now to do anything so close to home.
"So don't listen to what you don't want to hear," Mae said pointedly. It didn't matter that she knew that wasn't an option for him. It chaffed that this was happening at all.
They'd talked about this a number of times over the years. He knew it would happen eventually. He'd had time to mentally brace himself. It wasn't up to her to stay chaste and pure forever just because he couldn't deal.
The last thing she wanted was to hurt her dad. But she couldn't avoid living her life for his sake.
"He initiated it," Edward said, putting words to his primary concern.
"I could have stopped him, but I didn't want to. You have to respect that I'm not a little girl anymore," Mae insisted, watching as Edward shuttered, his eyes closing in denial of the unwanted knowledge, even if he had been the one to seek out answers.
"He shouldn't be pushing for more before you're ready," he replied flatly. "You don't lo-"
"I am ready! I wasn't born or raised in the nineteenth century. Things are different now. I'm allowed to be a sexual being, and I have the freedom to explore myself without condemnation from society - it's just you that's the problem!" Mae yelled, crossing her arms defensively.
She hated that she had to defend her actions. It wasn't like she was being promiscuous or reckless. She was having a healthy and normal relationship with one person. Nahuel. She'd known him forever. Had a crush on him on and off for years. They'd been in together for over half a year. Nearly as long as the entirety of Bella and Edward's relationship when they were actually together - during which time they also got married and conceived her. At least she was being careful to avoid that.
"Renesmee… I wasn't trying -"
Jasper and Bella arrived, slipping into the house and coming to a stop together so they formed the points of a triangle. Based on the expressions her parents wore, they'd heard and deduced enough of the conversation to understand why she and Edward were arguing.
Great. Now two more people were butting in and making decisions for her.
"But that is precisely what you're doing. You're not respecting my right to decide what I can and can't do with my body. But it is mine, and no one else gets to decide what is right for me, except me," Mae declared, choosing to ignore her parents' untimely arrival for now.
"He's just worried about you, Poppet. Keep in mind, that while you're growing and changing so quickly, the rest of us are lagging - chasing behind as we attempt to catch up. Maybe try explaining your side to Edward in the future. He's not so hardheaded that he'd try to forbid you something once he understands that you need it to be happy. Right, Edward?" Jasper inserted, using his gift to sooth the tension in the room.
Maybe his joining them was actually a blessing. He was the most reasonable of her parents. Of course, no one had ever given him a reason not to be. Somehow she had a feeling that it would be an entirely different story if someone ever did.
"Yes," Edward choked out, the word, covered in tiny barbs latched and caught on the delicate flesh of his throat and mouth as it was pulled unwillingly from him.
"But I have to ask, you are being safe, cor-" Jasper began, only to be interrupted by two voices speaking over one another.
"She isn't having -" Edward revealed, confessing to exactly how much he'd seen in Nahuel's mind, because she'd been careful not to let her thoughts stray for even an instant since he'd shown up.
"I'm not!" Mae said, even as she broke down Edward's words.
"Not yet. But Bella told me what Carlisle said. There's a chance you could get pregnant, and I'm sorry, but I don't think you're ready for that," Jasper stated. He broke away from Bella's side to approach Mae, tenderly cupping her cheek as he continued speaking. "So as your father, I have to ask, Mae, are you prepared to be careful? Have you discussed if condoms would even work with him? He's venomous, so they might not. These are things you need to be able to discuss openly if you're going to have an adult relationship."
Mae broke eye contact to glance at her other two parents. Bella was smiling softly, happy at the idea that her daughter seemed to have found the happiness she herself had, and ready to support any decision Mae made. Her mom would always be in her corner, ready and willing to take on the world as well as either of her fathers if necessary to support her.
But Edward, well, he was a different story. He looked agonized, not at the idea of her growing up. No this was something far worse for him. It was at the potential consequences that could result from her new activities. She knew without him saying that he was recalling Bella's disastrous pregnancy. Both of her fathers were.
"Yes," Mae promised. "It won't be like with Mom if it ever happens. I promise, Dad, Papa. And I promise I'll talk to Grandpa and figure things out before they go that far."
January
I'll wait for you.
The single line text from Jacob threw her. She didn't understand it. Didn't dare read too much into it either. She couldn't even bring herself to respond.
Instead, she put it from her mind and went back to living her life as she had been prior to receiving the enigmatic message.
April
Mae sat up, grinning as she took in Nahuel's sprawled form in the clearing they'd found. He was breathing heavily from their activities, a pleased smile curling his wide lips. Mae could still taste his release on her tongue. It made her wonder what it would be like for someone to use their mouth on her. Nahuel couldn't. Not with his venomous teeth. He still never even used his tongue when he kissed her.
They'd discussed it several times since they were in Chile, and he'd admitted that the scent of her blood, stronger from the way her heart raced faster when they kissed was too much to ignore. His mouth filled with excess venom anytime they kissed, or touched, even worse than it had initially. Occasionally, particularly since they'd begun fooling around in December, it would get so intense, he'd have to leave and hunt in the middle of things.
Years ago, Mae had spoken to Seth about this very issue, and she recalled him mentioning that with the right person, it wouldn't matter that their physical interactions were limited. The fact that Mae was starting to feel like she was missing out, was extremely telling. She and Nahuel seemed to be growing apart, rather than closer as time went on.
The knowledge that she was somehow playing a part in a person losing their life, in addition to the conversation she'd had with her parents about accidental pregnancies was enough to keep her from engaging in anything sexual with Nahuel very often, even after Carlisle had said condoms would work since vampire semen itself wasn't venomous. Not to mention it wasn't always easy to find privacy, and Nahuel was more afraid of her fathers than ever...
"Do you like living with your family?" he asked lazily, turning his head to see her.
"Usually," she admitted.
"Not always?" he prodded.
"It'd be nice to be seen as just another member, and have the freedoms the others have, but I understand they have trouble not remembering me as a child," she explained, voicing the only ongoing issue she had with her family. Aside from that, they were incredible.
"Do you think that might change if you lived separately?"
"Possibly, but I don't really want to live in the dorms. I like having my own room," she said, letting him pull her down to lay against his side, her head pillowed on his chest.
"What if we were to get a place together?" Nahuel asked softly, running his fingers through her hair. The question was deceptively casual.
"Like move in, and live together? Us?" Mae asked, baffled that he'd make such a suggestion.
"Is that such a strange idea?"
"I don't know. That's pretty major," she said, trying to gently steer him away from wanting that.
"Your family would understand, if that's what is holding you back. They all support you finding your mate and being happy," he said more insistently, wrapping his arms around her to draw her closer. He'd begun speaking in what she'd privately termed his persuasive voice. It was always so hard to think and get her point across when he sounded like that. It made her want to be reckless and throw caution to the wind instead.
"It's not just my family's opinions that I'm worried about. You caught me off guard here. I'd not realized we were even approaching this point yet," Mae confessed.
"Perhaps this fall, during the new school year - your last one before you graduate. That gives you four months to wrap that pretty little head around the idea," he said, ruffling her curls.
"You really want to… live together?" she questioned. Yikes. Just the thought of the lack of privacy was overwhelming. She knew with her parents' senses that she didn't really have any now, but it'd be different with a significant other. A complete invasion of one another. An irreversible twining of their lives.
"It would mean the world to me. Not to mention making this," he said, slipping his hand down to cup her breast, squeezing gently, "much easier to indulge in."
There was that to consider. But was it really an incentive or actually an excuse not to?
May
"So you're Renesmee." The greeting caught Mae off guard, and she spun to see a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman in her grandparents' house.
Mae had known to expect her. Nahuel had mentioned she arrived late the night before, and had spent the morning with Carlisle at the hospital having a series of tests done. Nerves over meeting more of Nahuel's family had meant she tuned out most of what he'd said the other day when he'd told her about the upcoming visit. She'd basically only registered that Jennifer would be visiting that weekend.
"Hello, Jennifer," Mae greeted warmly, extending her hand to shake. She'd hurried home to introduce herself once her classes were over.
"I can see why my brother would upend his entire life," Jennifer said, surveying Mae closely and raising a brow at her hovering hand. Mae glanced to Esme for assistance, but her grandmother just winced and offered an encouraging smile.
Mae dropped her hand, giving up, and declaring, "I never asked him to do that."
"Regardless, you let him," Jennifer said, making her opinion clear. They'd only ever spoken the one time, but it was quickly becoming clear that they'd never be friends.
"You live in Ohio?" Mae tried.
"I do," Jennifer said dryly, annoyed by Mae's efforts at small talk.
"Is it a permanent residence or a more traditional nomadic lifestyle," Mae inquired, trying to keep the conversation going. Jennifer seemed unwilling to contribute. At least Nahuel should already be on his way home. His class only let out an hour after hers.
"Joham provided me with a house, but I keep to myself. Occasionally my sisters visit for extended periods of time," Jennifer said, relaxing a little to open up some.
"I didn't realize you guys were close," Mae said, smiling tentatively.
"With Maysun more than Serena," Jennifer acknowledged, nodding. "Though Serena has been helping me a lot lately. She's been very supportive the last couple of years."
"We're not that far apart. You're welcome to visit as often as you'd like," Esme said, always the gracious host. "I'd hate for you to get lonely keeping to yourself so much."
"Thank you. I'm sure we'll have many reasons to in the coming years," Jennifer said much more optimistically, even producing a genuine smile in thanks for the invitation. Esme had that effect on people.
"Do you have any hobbies?" Mae asked, encouraged by this new side Esme had gotten Jennifer to reveal.
"Just attempting to have a child. Despite the fun in trying, I'm still not having any luck. That's what Serena is helping me with," Jennifer said, sighing forlornly. But then she perked up, adding, "Once you and Nahuel conceive, we should be able to learn more."
"We're not trying to have a baby," Mae denied fervently, holding her hands up to stop Jennifer and Esme from voicing any more incorrect assumptions, or as if her hands could form a physical barrier that prevented Jennifer's hopes from coming to fruition.
"Why not? There's no reason to put it off, especially if it doesn't happen right away," Jennifer said, confusion making her face pinch as she looked from Mae to Esme for an explanation.
"Nahuel and I are absolutely not trying to have a child," Mae repeated, wondering where she'd gotten such an idea from.
"That's awfully selfish of you. You're the only hybrid couple, and both Serena and Carlisle could really use the information the two of you could provide to help me," Jennifer said, mouth tightening in suppressed anger as her lips thinned to form a narrow red slash.
Mae understood that she'd been trying, unsuccessfully, for approximately seventeen years now. If she was like her sisters, she had roughly three years left to conceive. It was a difficult position to be in. But that did not mean Mae was going to rush into something just to help her. Not something this life changing that she could never come back from.
"There is so much wrong with what you just said, I honestly don't even know where to start with that," Mae muttered, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Now I'm the one confused. Nahuel did tell you why I was coming, didn't he?" Jennifer asked, forehead wrinkling.
"He said you wanted to meet me, and talk to my grandfather since he might be able to help you," Mae said cautiously, an unwelcome suspicion forming as she took in Jennifer's genuine dismay at her words.
"I'm sure there was just a miscommunication somewhere along the way," Esme said, moving to place a caring hand on Jennifer's shoulder. Mae watched as the woman's face crumbled.
"I'm sorry if he gave you a different impression. I'm not ready to even think about having a child. If DNA tests or anything else like that can help Carlisle help you, sure, but that's where it ends," Mae said gently, regretting hurting the woman, but knowing frank honesty was the best option.
Mae absently watched as Esme attempted to distract Jennifer. Her mind was struggling to process the revelations that had just been made. Somehow it felt as though she were adding two plus two, and ending up with seven. No matter how she tried to rationalize the situation, she couldn't.
She was immensely glad that the other members of her family were doing their own thing, and not around yet by the time Nahuel returned. She didn't really want her family learning anything about this until after she heard his side of the story. It could just be a simple miscommunication, as Esme suggested. She wouldn't know for certain until they spoke.
The second Nahuel arrived, she opened the passenger side door and slid in.
"Let's go to the park for a bit," she said, the suggestion more of a command.
"Renesmee?"
"Please, Nahuel," she requested quietly, not looking at him.
"All right," he agreed, backing out of the drive and heading towards the park.
Mae waited until he'd put the car in park to speak, asking, "Did you tell your sister we'd try to have a child so she could figure out how to have one herself?"
"I was hoping after you met her, that you might consider it," he admitted. "It means so much to her, and I know how much you like helping others."
"That's not the kind of thing that gets decided on a whim," Mae hissed, glaring at him.
"I'm over a hundred and fifty years old, Renesmee. I see your family, and I want one of my own. I want to be part of your family. I've waited so long, and just being surrounded by yours this last year has brought me so much happiness, that I hardly miss all that I gave up to be here," he confessed, reaching to take hold of her hand. "A decision I made on a whim, if you recall."
"That's not where I'm at. I'm still getting to know you. And truthfully, those aren't good enough reasons to bring a child into the world. Not for me," Mae said, pulling her hand free and leaning back against the car door to add some additional space between them. Hurt flashed across his face, and it wounded her deeply to be the cause of it.
"You don't want to try and build a family with me?" he asked quietly, voice catching painfully on the word family.
"Not right now - not because it's what your sister wants. Not when it might mean risking my life the way our mothers did! Have you considered that? The fact that I might not survive it," Mae demanded. There were so many reasons not to do this. These were just the first few that she could list.
"I believe your family has enough medical knowledge to prevent that," he said, making it clear he'd already considered that issue and decided her life was worth gambling.
Obviously he was just as in love with her as she was with him. Which was to say they weren't. Despite trying to love him, wanting to love him, opening herself up to the possibility of loving him… she simply didn't. And never would.
This had to be some sort of misunderstanding. They must not be making their respective points very well. She refused to believe that after a year together this was where they were at.
"Regardless, it's not happening anytime soon," Mae stated, finality in her words. "I can't believe you let your sister ambush me with this."
"I want you bound irrevocably to me. Even though Edward and Bella are no longer together, they are in each other's lives - forever - because of you," Nahuel said, revealing ulterior motives that she didn't particularly care for.
Jasper would kill him if he found out about this. Mae didn't doubt it for a second.
"How long is Jennifer staying?"
"Just until tomorrow night," he said, frowning as he watched her. Perfect.
"I think you should go back with her when she leaves, spend some time together this summer," Mae suggested.
"Renesmee?"
"I need some time to think. We seem to be on very different pages, heading in very different directions, and I'm not sure what that means for us - if we even have a future at all," Mae said, resolution firm.
"Will you at least try to come around to my way of thinking?" he requested, the wound her refusal had dealt clearly visible in every tense line of his body.
She hated that it had come to this. Hated that they wanted different things. Only a month ago he'd asked her to live with him, and she could still recall baulking at the idea. If that was the case, there was no way she could ever willingly make the decision to have a child with him. And didn't that say everything she needed to know?
"I promise to take everything into consideration and make a decision that gives all of us the best chance at happiness," Mae vowed. "B-"
"That's all I can ask for," Nahuel agreed, nodding, seeming to miss that she'd been about to say more. She doubted he truly understood what she'd really been saying even as he studied her closely. Then he surprised her by asking, "Renesmee, are you ending things?"
"Yes. That's exactly what is happening right now."