~thirteen~
Draco's feet plodded heavily with anger as he ascended the grand staircase in the manor's hallway. His whole body was pulsating with rage-fuelled magic and he breathed deeply through his nose to keep his emotions in check.
"Truly!" he called out, summoning one of Loxey's colleagues, the small elf appearing instantaneously with a pop. Draco continued to keep his eyes set dead ahead and continued forwards up the stairs, not stopping to greet or look at the elf, who was standing a few steps below, eyes wide with wonder.
"Have my father's fine silver decanter tray from his office brought to my room immediately."
The elf gawped with concern at her young master's controversial request.
"But surely you is not meaning the Master's finest oak-aged firewhiskey?" she asked, her glassy eyes blinking with disbelief.
"Yes Truly, that is exactly what I mean."
"But Master is being very particular about not sharing his finest whiskey, Sir. Not even with most honoured guests."
Draco sighed and slowed down momentarily, before coming to a complete pause, still facing away from the elf.
"Just do it, Truly. You know I won't let you face any repercussions."
Truly gave a little curtsy before disappearing to carry out her orders. Draco continued to march purposefully onwards to the top of the stairs, before turning off down the long corridor towards his room.
Upon entering he was pleased to see the silver, moulded tray that normally sat in his father's office, now waiting for him on top of the mahogany tallboy in his room.
He strode over to it and with a satisfied smirk, took one of the heavy, crystal tumblers, pouring himself a generous amount of firewhiskey from the glinting decanter.
He downed it in one mouthful, closing his eyes and taking a long drawn breath. Then he wiped his brow with the back of his hand that was still clutching the empty glass.
He took a moment to enjoy the warm sensation of the smoky and flavourful liquor that bloomed in his chest, before pouring himself another.
Draco then placed the tumbler with meticulous precision on a coaster on his bedside table before sitting down heavily on his ornately carved, four poster bed. Taking a deep breath, he threw himself back to stare dolefully at the canopied fabric above.
What an idiot he had been.
With the glorious benefit of hindsight, he could see how blind he had been to Astoria's falseness. He should have been more wary of the match made by his father and been far more mindful of Astoria's background - rich, pureblood… Slytherin.
The signs had been there all along. Had he been so eager to make things work with her in desperation to get over Hermione, that his mind had subconsciously overlooked them?
And there it was. That name. Her name. The name that never failed to make his heart miss a beat. The name that conjured up hundreds of beautiful images in his mind. The name drove a euphoric high through his soul before severing his heart in two with every other syllable.
The anger he was feeling about Astoria was so intrinsically linked to that name. He had turned Hermione away and denied his own feelings out of some hugely misplaced devotion to Astoria fucking Greengrass and out of fear of being crushed all over again.
He had shouted at Hermione and told her to leave. His heart wrenched as he relived the look that she had had on her face at that moment and he covered his eyes with the back of his wrist as he let out a deep sigh of regret.
Just then there was a soft knock at the door, and his mother entered warily. Draco didn't even lift his arm from his eyes to greet her.
"Draco?" his mother announced softly as she came through the doorway. "May I join you?"
"Of course," he replied coolly.
Narcissa entered more fully and closed the door behind her with a soft click. She took a moment to look at her son, recognising all too well the sullen demeanour he had adopted on his bed. She smiled to herself as she was reminded of the young boy who used to sulk in his room on the very rare occasion that he had not got his own way over the latest toy or racing broom. It was clear however, that this was rather more serious.
She rustled quietly over to his bed and perched effortlessly at his side, turning to face him. Resting a comforting hand on his arm she spoke softly to him, in a way to which he always responded.
"Draco?" she cooed softly. "Draco, come now. Let us talk."
Draco sighed again and let his arm fall heavily from his eyes to his side. He rolled his eyes across to meet hers and stared into her blue orbs that were so similar to his own.
"Alright," he stated unenthusiastically.
"Darling," she began, her face full of sweet sympathy for her son. "I am so very sorry for what happened. If I had known for one second…"
"No, mother," he said sitting up slightly on his elbows. "There is absolutely no need for you to apologise. I think it's perfectly clear that this was a plan of father's invention. You had nothing to do with it."
"Well that doesn't stop me from feeling sorry about it, dear. You seemed so very fond of Astoria."
Draco huffed out a breath of laughter and sat up more fully.
"Yes. I guess it did seem that way didn't it?"
Narcissa eyed him with suspicion at his response.
"Well, weren't you?"
Draco sighed and hung his head low.
"I thought I was, Mother. But… all this has just made me realise that Astoria and I… She was just a helpful distraction."
"A distraction? Well I suppose she did help to lift your spirits after that whole incident with Mr Finch Fletchley and your expulsion from the healer programme," she agreed with a small nod, before meeting his gaze with a knowing raise of her eyebrows.
Draco caught her eye before closing his eyes and throwing his head back down to the pillow behind him.
"Well… yes. There was that. But…" he trailed off, sighing forlornly and returning his gaze to the canopy above his bed once more.
Narcissa took hold of his hand and spoke to him with quiet confidence.
"You required a distraction from some other torment perhaps? Perhaps you were desperate to distract yourself from your broken heart?"
Draco looked up at his mother with surprise.
"You knew..?"
"Draco, my son," she replied, delicately placing her fingertips at the side of his face and turning it to face her more fully. "A mother always knows."
Draco sighed his acknowledgment. It was true that his mother had always had a sixth sense for picking up on his true feelings, no matter how hard he tried to keep them to himself.
"I knew as soon as I saw you and Miss Granger together at the Manor when she came to visit me about the gala evening. And not to mention, of course, during your period of despondency earlier this year."
Draco smiled and allowed himself a moment to revel in the fond memory of Hermione in her blue gala dress, before the weight of loss hit him once more. He sat up sharply, earning a surprised start from his mother.
"Oh mother, if only you knew what a mess I've made of everything," he said.
"Oh, I hardly think that can be the case!" she chided. "Come now, Draco. Surely, as regrettable as this whole… situation was this afternoon, it has resulted in you now being free to pursue your true heart's desire?"
"Well, you would think so, wouldn't you? But… the thing is, I've totally burned my bridges! She came by yesterday… to thank me for everything I had achieved with my study…"
"She knew about your study?" Narcissa interrupted with surprise.
"Oh. Yes. Theo decided to go interfering," he explained with a bitterness to his voice.
"But surely Miss Granger knowing about your success will only serve you well in your pursuit of her?"
Draco rubbed his hands across his face in a helpless manner.
"Well, yes. Ordinarily that would be the case, I suppose. But, you see mother, it took so much out of me, getting over her after I believed she had made clear her lack of feelings for me, that I think I put up some kind of defense mechanism."
"My mind just wouldn't let me entertain going there. I was so eager to make a go of things with Astoria out of sheer fear of ending up in that hopeless place I had found myself in for all that time, that I just totally dismissed her yesterday! I mean, she openly admitted that she had feelings for me, and I… well, I just… shot her down, mother! I shouted at her and asked her to leave, out of sheer fear and ridiculous misplaced loyalty to Astoria Greengrass! And all this after Theo had warned me!"
Narcissa gave him a warm and sympathetic smile.
"Draco," she began, stroking his hand softly. "If she truly has feelings for you in the way that I think she does, then whatever you said to her yesterday will be of little consequence."
He sighed deeply.
"I don't know, mother…"
"You love her, don't you?" his mother asked confidently.
Draco looked sharply at his mother. They had always been close, but he had never had such an open conversation with her about girls and relationships.
"I… I think I do. I have done for such a long time. But..."
"But nothing! '' she replied before he had a chance to argue. "By the Gods Draco, in all my years of matchmaking nonsense among the Sacred Twenty-Eight and in our wider circles, I don't think I have ever seen a couple so perfectly matched and drawn to each other in the way that you and Miss Granger are."
Draco stared at his mother, quite taken aback by her emotionally forthright outburst.
"Now then, you are going to go and see Miss Granger at once," she stated, rising gracefully from the bed and turning to face her son with a challenging expression.
Draco spluttered at the suggestion.
"At once?' he asked with a laugh of derision. "Mother, I.."
"Of course, you can take that delightful posy that you bought for me - not that I don't adore it darling, but needs must…" she continued, ignoring Draco's disputation as she paced excitedly at the side of his bed.
Draco shook his head and tried to interject but was unable to voice his rebuttal as his mother continued.
"Now, I wouldn't worry about your appearance, dear. I do feel that Miss Granger is true enough of heart to love you exactly the way you are, just of course as I do, but perhaps, a little fix of your hair..." she said, suddenly turning and approaching him with an outstretched hand, eyes ranging over his blond locks that were mussed from lying on bed.
Draco shot up from the bed, hastily dodging his mother's reach.
"Mother!' he cried out, causing her to freeze in her tracks, turning her eyes towards him sharply.
"Mother," he repeated with a more becoming volume and apologetic tone for having raised his voice. "I appreciate all of this, I really do. But as much as I would love to go and see her, it's simply not that straightforward. I'm not sure where she lives! That is to say that I know the name of the village, but where exactly…"
"She lives in a sweet little cottage, next to the local church. It has a small garden to the front with a white dove cote, and the dwelling itself is named Strawberry something or other I believe."
Draco stared again at his mother in disbelief.
"How…? You...? Mother, how do you know that?' he asked incredulously.
"I paid her a visit one afternoon, after the gala, to thank her for all her assistance and to take her a small token of my appreciation. Your father managed to get the address for me by calling in a favour. Unfortunately, I didn't keep a note of the address, but I assure you Draco, it will be unmistakable to you. She lives in a mostly muggle village so you will feel a magical signature as soon as you draw near."
"You went to visit her?"
"Yes I did. She didn't seem herself at the time, unfortunately. Rather...distracted and well... depressed I suppose, poor dear. Not too dissimilar to yourself at that time as I recall."
Draco felt a pang of guilt in his heart as he recalled how Hermione had described how hard it had been for her to get over him. It seemed so futile that they had both sent all those weeks in an unnecessary state of anguish following their misunderstanding. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes as he got his feelings in check, before opening his eyes with a snap.
"Truly!" he called out as he approached the mirror on his armoire and began checking his appearance. The elf materialised in an instant.
"Bring me mother's posy please, and…" he continued as he marched into his ensuite bathroom to begin to freshen up. "...find for me the nearest public floo point for the village of Lower Wickstead."
Narcissa Malfoy gave a little giggle and clapped her hands together with delight, before leaving her son to prepare for his quest ahead.