Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!

Three more chapters!

The theme song for this chapter is I Get to Love You by Ruelle.

PS I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own anything :(

Ch 17: Love - Mae

Year 9 - 2014-2015 (June - January)

June

Mae took careful, even steps as she walked across the sand, Jacob at her side, their arms linked. Quil Sr. waited a few feet in front of the gently foaming surf on Second Beach. Chairs had been arranged in rows on either side of the makeshift aisle that they strode down. Arrays of cascading flowers were tied to the end chairs facing the aisles. Stunning yellows, soft pinks, brilliant reds, vibrant oranges, pale blues, and deep purples. Everything bright and cheerful to mark this special day.

"That dress is giving me ideas," Jacob whispered, speaking so low only the vampires had a hope of hearing him.

"I know," Mae breathed, willing the flush from her cheeks.

"Do you think there'll be -"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Mae hissed through her teeth, careful to keep a smile fixed on her face lest the guests figure out the deviant suggestions her partner was making at such an inappropriate time.

"But," Jacob whined, and she smothered her laughter. He was a child being denied his favorite toy.

"Behave," Mae commanded, and internally groaned when Emmett shot her a wicked smirk as they walked past him. Great. Lovely. He'd be absolutely impossible later.

"Make me," Jacob challenged just as they reached Quil Sr. and separated to make room for Leah while Jake moved to stand beside Aiden.

Then everyone was standing and watching as Seth walked Leah down the aisle. Leah was more beautiful today than Mae had ever seen her look. Far more feminine too. Her dress was long and gauzy, floating around her ankles like the frothing sea spread out before them. Her long hair, uncut since she'd first begun resisting her wolf side several years ago, was arranged in long curls that tumbled down her back, a silky, ebony waterfall shining under the light of a full moon. Tucked throughout were delicate blooms. It looked like she'd ran through a shower of raining blossoms or rolled through a meadow.

Happiness shown from her, radiating out to infect all of their guests. Mae glanced at Jacob to see if he was as thrilled for the couple as she was, but found his attention focused on her already. The way he looked at her was mesmerizing.

From that moment on, Mae focused only on Jacob. Not a word of the vows registered as she was far more concerned with the love for her painted clearly on his face. They'd not actually discussed getting married after he'd proposed, but she could picture it being them right then. When Jake suddenly winked at her, she wondered if his thoughts had just mirrored her own. She didn't even feel guilty for ignoring their friends during the event that was supposed to be all about them.

Leah and Aiden had bought a house in Timber, Oregan and gotten jobs in Portland a few months earlier. Since it was only about three hours away, they made a point to have dinner together at least once a week, taking turns hosting so the same couple didn't have to do all the driving. They also frequently ran into each other on the weekends in La Push now that Leah finally felt comfortable visiting again.

"You two are supposed to follow us," Leah snipped, indicating the ceremony was over. Mae hadn't even noticed Aiden kiss Leah, but apparently her aunt had detected the attendants' distraction. "Don't forget unless you were planning to go ahead and get hitched right now too." The last was in jest, though the slight annoyance said all Mae needed to know about what Leah would do to her if she stole her thunder by taking her up on it.

"She scolded us," Mae whispered when Jacob took her arm for them to follow the newly married couple down the aisle. She could feel his body shaking with silent laughter, and her own was barely masked behind her firmly sealed lips.

"I told you - it's the dress. I just can't help myself," Jacob said defensively, as if that argument could actually hold up.

Though to be fair, the dress probably was the sexiest thing she'd ever worn in public. The long dress was made of the same gauzy chiffon as Leah's gown, but colorful where Leah's was white. The top was slit down to her navel with a strap just under her breasts to keep the fabric in place. Then there was the slit in the skirt that went up a little high for her liking. Leah had insisted though, and since it was her wedding, Mae hadn't disagreed.

"And she probably would have eventually forgiven us if we took her up on that suggestion," Jacob teased when they reached the end of the aisle. Leah's pointed glare had him rethinking and he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Or maybe not."

It wasn't until after pictures and dinner that she and Jake had a chance to speak privately again. "Can I have this dance?" he requested.

"They're all yours," Mae promised, her heart racing when he took her hand and led her out on the dance floor.

"Try telling our families that," he grumbled. It was true. All the males in her family would insist on a turn, as would the members of his pack - present and former.

He held her as close as he dared, though occasionally, he'd step back and spin her. Each time she'd erupt into peels of laughter, loving the way he very nearly swept her off her feet. For someone of his size, he was shockingly light on his feet, and nearly unbearably romantic at times.

"I didn't think you were supposed to be prettier than the bride," he commented, eyes shifting down the length of her exposed leg. He shook his head and met her amused gaze one more. He was completely incorrigible. "There's no way we're staying all night."

"You're biased," she accused, ignoring his other comment. It wouldn't do to encourage him now or they'd be gone before the song ended, and that would just be rude.

"Yes, I most definitely am," he freely admitted, spinning her out then back before ending with a sudden dip. "That dress," he muttered once more when he caught sight of her cleavage. Or maybe it had been the flash of leg as she twirled. She'd have to make a point to let Alice or Rose pick her up at least one other dress if it was capable of inspiring such a reaction.

"Shame that I had to go without panties though," Mae teased, enjoying how easy it was to rile him up. Maybe they could afford to be a little rude. They were cutting the cake soon. Surely that'd mean they'd stayed long enough.

"What?" Jake asked, stumbling a step.

"The top wasn't designed for anything under it and it's so slinky through the hips. They ruined the lines of it," she explained, fighting laughter when his jaw dropped.

"You're not - right now?"

"You look positively scandalized. Which is crazy, because I know you're not either - I watched you dress," she reminded him, discreetly sliding her hand down to squeeze his butt.

"I can't wait to get you home and back in our bed - if I can even wait that long," Jacob announced, swallowing thickly. Mae watched his Adam's apple bob as he did and longed to press a kiss against it.

"You love saying that," Mae noted, sliding her arms around his shoulders so her fingers could toy with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Which part?"

"Our bed," she said. Then asked, "Do you think it'll always be like this with us? In two hundred, or eight hundred years?"

"I guarantee that in eight thousand years I will love you every bit as much as I do today," he vowed with such sincerity that she knew he meant it.

"Jacob," Mae whispered. Then Jacob was claiming her lips in a searing kiss that ignited her very soul.

"Mind if I cut in?" Jazz drawled lazily, accompanying the words with a feeling of mellow boredom and calmness.

"Yes, but I'll let you anyway," Jake answered truthfully, fighting the effects of her papa's gift to steal another kiss then stepped back to allow the other man to dance with his daughter. He waited until Mae turned her attention on Jazz before tugging Bella close and spinning her away.

"It's been nearly a year now. You're happy, Poppet," Jasper stated, smiling softly as he searched her face.

"Incandescently," Mae agreed. "You knew I would be."

"I hoped. There's a difference," he said, shrugging one shoulder.

"Are you and Mom still enjoying the perks of having a place to yourselves?"

"I'm taking her to England next week for a month," he said low and fast, apparently intended the trip to be a surprise for Bella.

Others would have selected Pairs for a romantic getaway, but Jasper knew Bella would prefer to visit the homes and places mentioned in the Regency and Victorian literature she loved so much. It was a mark of why they fit so well together even after close to a decade.

"You'll take her to Jane Austen's house, won't you?" Mae requested, knowing how much that would mean to her mother.

"And to see Shakespeare performed at the Globe," he promised, excitement lighting his tawny eyes. He was as much an avid reader as her mother, though his tastes were far more varied than Bella's who tended to stick to the early eighteen hundreds more often than not.

"She'll love it. You're not going to elope to Gretna Green are you?" Mae asked suspiciously, realizing that actually would be the best way to convince Bella. She'd love the historical nature of it. Not to mention the fact it would be a no muss, no fuss affair if she did.

"Not this century," Jasper replied, but Mae saw the way the idea seemed to take root in him, and she knew he was considering the unintentional suggestion as a valid option for someday. "Speaking of marriage," Jasper remarked, redirecting the conversation as he used his finger to subtly tap the pearl ring on her finger.

"We're in no hurry either. It's more that the intention is there… And I found the ring," she admitted, biting her bottom lip sheepishly.

"You didn't mention that part when you told us," Jasper said, surprised.

"And you didn't mention that you'd given your blessing while I was with Nahuel," Mae countered. Jasper's busted look was quite comical, though he recovered quickly.

"I knew you'd figure out he wasn't a good fit. Though I did think it would happen before you found out he wanted a child more than he wanted you," Jasper said, revealing just how on the pulse he had likely always been when it came to her. Necessary for someone as protective as her father was.

"You knew about that? And you didn't -"

"For a very long time violence was all I knew. Then it was all that I was good at. But that was before you and your mother came into my life. I have no wish to revert back to that," he said frankly, always more open and honest with her than he was with anyone else - besides Bella, at least. "And I knew it would upset you if I did."

"I love you, Papa," she said, fighting tears. They were the only words she could find to express how much it meant to her that he had shown such restraint and trust in her.

"I know. Now go dance with Edward before Jacob steals you away. Today has been hard on him," Jazz advised, nodding towards a spot over her shoulder, and nudging her in that direction.

She looked around to discover Aiden speaking privately with Edward. But Edward waved her over when he detected the flavor of her thoughts.

"How are you, Dad?"

"He truly loves her. That helps," he replied, using his considerable skills to waltz her around the dance floor. It felt as though her feet barely touched the ground. It was almost like she was a little girl again, standing on her dad's shoes as he taught her to dance. But Edward hadn't been around till she was approximately fifteen so they'd never had that chance.

"I didn't really think you'd come today," Mae admitted, hoping to encourage him to open up to her a bit, and distract him from the thoughts he'd likely just heard in her head. Bella was presently too distracted to maintain her shield.

He needed someone he could talk to and be honest with. A friend.

"Leah and I spoke about it," he acknowledged, looking far older than his seventeen years just then. Mae waited, but he didn't say anymore.

Mae frowned, upset by the aloof, remoteness he always insisted on. She knew it was difficult for him to speak plainly with her, since she was his daughter, but he needed someone. He was the same with Carlisle more often than he should be thanks to his beliefs on their familial roles. Usually, only Alice or Seth could get through to him. Hopefully, they'd be there for him tonight, though Seth was rather consumed celebrating his sister's wedding and his duties as her family since Harry wasn't there.

"You're always so private. I hope someday you meet someone that opens you up, or that you at least feel comfortable opening up to," she said, the words slipping out before she could restrain them, though he'd no doubt already heard them a dozen times over in her head over the years.

"Isn't it enough that I'm content to see my family happy? To see such joy in your eyes?"

"It's enough. For now," she agreed, nodding despite her concerns. Edward laughed loudly at her words for some mysterious reason, though he declined from sharing. And not five minutes later, Jacob appeared to whisk her away.

July

For the first few weeks after Mae graduated, she spent time each day putting together mock-ups and examples to make a portfolio. Afterwards, she approached a number of smaller companies to see if they might be interested. Jacob had suggested she put together a website for herself to use as advertising for her services, and it was a great idea, but she wanted to be able to include an actual client on it, so she needed one before she could do that.

Her lack of experience had been off putting for most of the people she'd spoken to. One had said outright that they weren't doing well enough to survive a downturn if they took a chance and it went the other way for them. While she understood, it was disappointing. Then, that morning, she'd been getting a treat for Jacob when she caught her first break, a small bakery said they'd be interested if she presented her idea and they liked it. Immediately, she'd returned home and poured herself into planning.

Probably the best part of her job was getting to design her own schedule. It left her time to have fun with family and friends, while still pursuing her own hobbies. She'd been working on the photos from Leah's wedding in her spare time, having taken the majority of the shots at her aunt's wedding. Then there was the album Charlie had asked for of Bella that she'd been painstakingly assembling.

Jacob arrived a little before six, immediately searching her out. Mae's head absently tilted back when he entered the room, knowing he'd greet her with a kiss. It was the little rituals they'd developed that always set her heart fluttering when he was nearby.

"Can I get you anything?" he offered, tangling his fingers in her hair before stealing another needy, heart-stopping kiss.

"No, I'll be out in a bit," Mae promised, returning to jotting the last couple ideas down and adding a rough sketch beside them to remind herself later.

Within a minute, she heard the baseball game playing on the television, and the sound of Jacob moving about the kitchen as he prepared dinner for himself.

"Ness? What are you working on?" he asked, coming back into the room with his plate of food carried in one hand, while the other used his fork to gesture at the papers on the desk she was in the process of organizing.

"Potential client," she admitted, biting her bottom lip in nervous excitement.

"Someone's interested? That's great! Who?" Jacob asked, setting his plate down on the edge of her desk and dragging his desk chair over beside hers.

"I'll tell you about it later," she offered, waving him off. "Go, watch the game. Promise I'll be out by the end of the second inning." They'd talked about watching it together the day before, so she didn't want to miss it.

"No way. This is your first big break. I'd rather hear about this," he said, reaching to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her to lean against him.

"I love you," Mae said, kissing his cheek.

"I love you too - now spill," he demanded, picking up the stack of papers she'd just compiled.

"It's that new cupcake shop around the corner from you," she explained, watching him read through her notes, truly paying attention to what she was working on rather than feigning interest. It had been something her friends in school used to complain about their boyfriends doing whenever they talked. Jacob never did. Mae always had his complete attention when she spoke. It was the same in reverse too whenever Jacob shared about one of his work projects.

"The one we passed the other day," he declared enthusiastically, glancing up at her.

"Yeah. They're only interested in putting together a website, but I have a few ideas and I wanted to get them all down before I forgot," she said.

"You should lead with this one. It's perfect," Jacob decided, pointing at one a third of the way down the page. "I'd definitely stop in if I saw this."

"Speaking of, there's a treat for you on the counter. I'm surprised you didn't see it when you were making dinner."

"Thanks," he whispered softly, trailing several tantalizing kisses down her neck to her shoulder. "What's the next step?" he asked, pressing his lips a final time to the base of her throat before pulling back and exchanging her papers for his dinner.

Slightly breathless, Mae said, "I'm taking pictures tomorrow then creating a few web pages to show them Friday."

"Need any help?"

"I'll probably be finished by the time you're out of work," she admitted regretfully.

"I'll swing by just in case," he promised.

"Sounds like a plan. Game time?" Mae asked, standing and holding out her hand to drag him into the living room.

"You know, I can't believe none of us have thought of it before, but you should do something like this for Kim's business," Jacob suggested, reminding her that their friend was attempting to start her own catering business.

"That's a great idea! I can work on that as soon as I finish this," Mae said, excited to help their friend out.

September

Mae couldn't believe her luck. Jacob's Rabbit had been acting up for the last couple weeks, so she and Leah went to an auction in Seattle while Aiden and Jake went surfing. The man driving the flatbed with her purchase pulled up behind her as she parked in front of her half of the garage. He'd already started unloading it by the time she hopped out.

"You'll have to help me push it into the garage before Jacob gets back," Mae said, bouncing excitedly as she stared at the black '68 Camaro convertible. Eventually, they'd need to paint the American muscle car green since that was his favorite color. Maybe add white racing stripes on the hood too. Shock that her bid of seven thousand had won was still making it hard for her to believe that she'd really managed to get the car for him.

It was in great shape apart from the engine, but that would be easy for them to manage. There were other, faster, sleeker cars - the type Edward preferred - that Jacob probably would have killed to possess, but this seemed right for him. More fitting. It was a classic, and one he could drive everyday. Plus, it wasn't an over-the-top ultra extravagant present for her to get him on a whim. Maybe a little over the top, but they'd needed to get a replacement anyways.

"Did you forget I've only got the strength of an ordinary human now?" Leah reminded her, emphasizing the word ordinary. The female wolf had never been happier, loving life post quitting. Mae doubted she'd even felt a moment's regret over the decision. "You're on your own."

"At least put it in neutral and steer while I push," Mae amended.

Leah left to see her mom as soon as they had the vehicle safely inside. Curious to discover what the problem was, Mae started taking apart the engine.

The crack in the radiator was the first issue, but probably not the reason it didn't run. The spark plugs looked awful, utterly useless scraps of metal with rust caked around the twisted end until it was the color of blood drenched chocolate. Rosalie would be horrified if -

"I can honestly say I've never seen a hotter sight in my life." The sound of Jacob's declaration had her craning her neck to look over her shoulder to where he stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes fixed on how she was bent over to dig around under the hood of the car.

It was amusing how little effort on her part it took to turn him on. She had to be filthy right then, grease and dirt on her shorts and tank top as well as her face, hands and arms. Fall was stubbornly refusing to kick in this year, and it was an uncomfortable eighty-nine degrees outside. For someone that naturally ran at one hundred and two degrees, it was positively sweltering in the unairconditioned garage even with the large door open. About an hour ago she'd tied her mass of sweaty curls atop her hair in a messy knot that was tipping precariously to the left, and had gotten caught at least twice on a hook under the hood when she'd moved to straighten.

"What is this?" Jake asked, oblivious to her amusement, though she could easily see how turned on he was, the thick evidence outlined nicely by his board shorts.

"I got it at an auction this morning. The engine is a bit of a mess, but I figured between the two of us, we could fix it up," she said, twirling a wrench and leaning against the headlight.

"Aren't I the one that's supposed to get you something? You're the one with a birthday in a few days," he stated, eyes raking over her. The temperature spiked another ten degrees from the heat in his gaze.

"This is for both of us. I like cars. You like cars. We get to spend time together," she explained, swallowing several times, her throat suddenly very dry before she could add, "Besides, your Rabbit has seen better days. It's time for an upgrade."

"I want you," Jacob stated, stalking towards her. "Now."

Fumbling with the rod behind her, Mae knocked it loose so the hood fell shut with a loud bang! The sound echoed behind her just as Jake's hands found her hips, lifting her to perch on the long, flat front of the car.

"I'm yours," she declared, willing him to be inside her already. She was embarrassingly turned on already considering he'd done nothing more than look at her to get her in this state.

"Seeing you standing there like that," he muttered, pulling her tank top over her head. "I can't think."

His mouth fastened onto her breast, roughly sucking her nipple through the satin fabric of her bra. Her hands clutched his back, nails digging in as he finished removing the bra, his mouth returning to her revealed flesh the instant the damp fabric vanished. The dusky peak of her nipple vanished into his mouth, and she gasped at the feel of the wet heat. Desire flooded her core.

"More, please. I need to feel you inside me," she begged, locking her legs around his hips and rubbing her sex against him enticingly.

"You're the sexiest woman alive. None compare," he claimed, voice muffled against her breast as he unfastened her shorts. Mae lifted her hips for him to tug them off, while she used her hands and feet to shove his board shorts down his muscular legs.

"Show me how I make you want me," she demanded, feeling bold and adventurous considering anyone could drive by and see them. Not that many used this back road, but friends had a tendency to drop in unannounced on a regular basis.

Jacob entered her in a single long thrust, possessing her fully. Mae laid back, arching her spine and rocking her hips to meet his deep thrusts. She felt his hands slide down her front before slipping beneath her to grip her shoulders for more leverage. Her nails raked down his back, knowing how it drove him wild. She was rewarded with his sharp gasp as his eyes flew open to stare at her sprawled form displayed below him.

"Seriously, like a pinup model from the magnizes -"

"Are we talking Playboys here?" she gasped, sharing an image of him jerking off while holding a magazine. Just imagining him doing that made her shiver. The idea of watching him touch himself had never occurred to her before...

"Back in high school, yeah," he agreed, grinning as he gave her a particularly hard thrust, twisting his hips as he pistoned into her.

The movement elicited a delicious friction as his pelvis rubbed against her clit, enticing her to moan, "Yes, there. Mhh."

"It would have been so much better if it showed you on a car," he grunted, moving his hips impossibly faster. Her heels dug into his butt on each thrust, spurring him to push deeper.

"Flattery like that will get you anything you want," she promised, breathless. Her hands gripped his arms, holding on as lightning sparked in her core. The buzz of electricity was followed by warmth and champagne bubbles dancing through her veins. The little pops released bursts of ecstasy the way biting a barely rip blueberry releases tart flavor that explodes in your mouth.

"I want to see you fall to pieces," he confessed, his hand moving between where they were joined to rub jerky circles against her clit.

"I'm close," she breathed, black spots expanding across her vision like dripping ink and her muscles coiling, preparing for their inevitable plummet.

"Ness," he moaned, lightly pinching the little bundle of nerves.

"Yes, oh! Do that again," she begged. When he did immediately, she crested, shattering like so much glass while every muscle in her body seized and relaxed. Endorphins flooded her, fireworks of pleasure and bliss cascaded, a tumbling waterfall dousing her. "Jacob!" she cried.

Warmth filled her as he surged forward a final time not even a heartbeat later. In that instant, she was again grateful Carlisle had suggested switching to an IUD after a condom had broken and they'd been concerned she might get pregnant a couple months earlier. It felt so much better feeling him skin to skin and experiencing the rush of heat when he filled her. Plus it was more reliable.

"That probably would have been more comfortable in the back seat," he said, running his hands carefully over her. Something she knew he did because he still worried he might unintentionally hurt her, particularly when they really let go like they just had.

Mae loved that he never had to hold back with her. They both typically lost control a little, but she preferred it that way. She was the same. Strong as him. Durable in the most erotic way. And able to handle all of him, not just glimpses of the enormous passion he possessed.

"Next time?" she offered, wondering if he'd be as vocal again. They didn't usually talk and joke as much, but it had been an interesting change of pace, one she wouldn't mind repeating.

"Count on it," he said, lifting her and moving to sit in a nearby chair with her in his arms.

"Good surprise then?" she murmured, kissing his neck and running her fingers through his hair.

"The best," he replied.

December

"Is that me playing?" Mae asked, listening to the familiar sound of the piano playing.

She'd just returned from a spa day with Rachel, Kim, and a very pregnant Kyra to find Jake on the back patio. While Mae missed her old friends, she loved the new connections she'd formed. When she'd lived in Washington before, she'd been too young to form friendships with the other imprints, and on her visits, most of her time had been spent with Billy and Charlie. Though she and Rachel had already become fairly close, they were even closer now.

Slowly severing ties with her old friends was a necessary evil she'd of had to do eventually anyways. She could only stay in touch for so long before they realized so wasn't aging the way they were. Perhaps it was better happening now, when she had others that she could bond with - especially since she'd never have to lie to her new group of friends. They knew the truth, and because of that, she could have them in her life longer.

"I recorded it the other day," he said, hammering in a bracket.

New tiki lights served as posts spaced evenly around the railing, and there were now strings of lights along the back of the house that looped down to the edge of the balcony. The space was raised, the door leading to it off the upstairs hallway so it was really more or a balcony even if it did have stairs leading down to the start of the thin treeline in the backyard separating the lawn from the pebble beach of the shoreline.

"I like the additions," Mae said, glancing around. It amused her that he'd added them during the winter, while it was snowing no less.

"Yeah?"

"Planning on coming inside anytime soon? It is snowing," she pointed out.

"Dance with me," he requested, holding his hand out to her.

It had become a familiar thing for him to ask as often as he could. Mae suspected it stemmed from Quil's wedding and was a subconscious effort on his part to erase that disastrous dance from their memory, replacing it with much more pleasant alternatives. Mae didn't mind, she loved dancing with him - even in the snow.

With that in mind, Mae didn't hesitate to clasp his warm hand, allowing him to guide her around the snow covered surface. Her feet crunched on the wet snow, packing it down to form a slick layer that in no time at all, they seemed to be gliding across like a frozen pond. Jacob's heat drew her in, surrounding her like a cozy blanket.

"I never would have guessed you'd turn out to be such a romantic," Mae said softly, remembering all his teasing and joking when she'd known him as a child. Such a contrast from the tender, thoughtful gestures he liked to surprise her with on a regular basis now.

"You inspire me," he said simply, quietly, without a hint of the previous jesting. The candid declaration, a naked blade cutting into her heart with its sharp, exposed truth. He was entirely hers, vulnerable and open, laid bare for her alone to cherish or destroy. Fitting, since the same was true in reverse.

Jacob spun her, lifting her up and turning. Mae laughed, throwing her head back and watching the individual fluffy white flakes falling towards her face.

"It's really coming down," Mae commented, knowing he didn't need her to repeat his claim or say anything to know she understood him.

"We should go skiing tomorrow," he suggested, lighthearted excitement entering his eyes.

"You know, I've never been. I lived in Alaska right near the mountains, and I never tried it." It was odd that she hadn't. There were plenty of times she'd been bored out of her mind with nothing to do, yet she'd not tried any outdoor sports, despite loving them.

"I'm not sure you ever gave Alaska a fair shot," Jacob said seriously, frowning at her even as he dipped her deeply.

"I was too busy missing you," Mae admitted, knowing it was the absolute truth.

That time in her life was tainted. Blah. Perhaps forgettable was a better summation. Nothing awful had happened, and it wasn't as though she'd not had fun occasionally, but it wasn't particularly memorable either. It needed to happen, for Jake's sake - and she was glad it had. They'd not know the happiness they currently did if it hadn't. But those four years were not her favorite.

"I wish you'd told me. I could have waited to go to school," Jake said.

Mae tried to make a point to acknowledge when he said things like that. It always reminded her of Embry and the power he'd mention her having over Jacob. She never wanted to take his choices away, or make him feel like he needed to sacrifice for her sake. Or if he did, at least ensure he knew that she'd willingly do the same.

In fact, she sort of had the year before when she'd transferred right before her senior year. This conversation again reminded her how much more difficult leaving her friends behind had been when she made the decision to do it. They were her first human friends her age. It also helped knowing they'd only have had one more year if she'd stayed. None of them had stuck around Laramie after graduation, so they'd have eventually left her anyways - even before she would have needed to leave them.

Plus, getting to move home had too many pros, dozens and dozens, to get caught up in the two or three cons.

"I'm glad I didn't. You needed to get away to become this version of yourself. I wouldn't change a thing," Mae said, resting her head on his shoulder. Immediately, his arms wrapped securely around her back to hold her close and swaying gently.

"Not even Quil's wedding?" Jacob prodded. They'd never actually talked about Quil's wedding, but she was amused he'd bring it up only minutes after she'd recalled the night herself.

Once they were together, there hadn't been a point, so Mae was slightly startled that he'd reference it now. Enough that she pulled back to stare at him. He looked curious, genuinely interested to know if she wished that had turned out differently.

It wasn't something she'd ever considered before. She couldn't ever remember even wondering, What if? Questions like that never did anyone any good. So did she wish she could change that moment?

No.

That moment was a defining one. A pivotal one for their story. Altering it would alter the present, and she rather liked where they were. There was no guarantee that they would be as blissfully happy now if that day had gone differently.

"Not even that one. I didn't really understand what I wanted from you then. I thought I did. My hormones were certainly telling me that I did. But I don't think I was actually ready for this - what we have," she admitted.

"Really? You don't think… " he asked, brow furrowing in contemplation. He trailed off, lost in his thoughts, and needing her to guide him out.

"This," Mae said, pressing tightly against him and holding him closer. "What we have - it's intense. In a good way, yes, but it can be consuming. I think if you'd been ready to give me what I wanted that day, it might have been too much. Too overwhelming. I might have gotten lost in us," she explained.

Privately, she wondered if that hadn't been the problem with Nahuel. At least a little bit. Probably, that happened to a lot of people in their first relationship. It was definitely part of why she'd stayed with him so long. That, and she'd been comfortable. It was easier to stay than risk not finding something at least as good. Because at the time, it was hard to say that love wasn't supposed to be like that. She'd never experienced anything else personally to know the difference. Plus, she'd wanted to make it work. It seemed like if she only tired hard enough, she could make them both happy, and not fail after having attempted for so long.

"I get it," he said, face morphing into a tender smile while his fingers traced lazy patterns on her lower back.

"You do?"

He hesitated, somewhat reluctant to share whatever it was her words had made him think of, but finally he said, "I've thought the same before. And… It's what happened to Bella when she was with Edward. It was her first relationship, and she didn't really know herself yet. She got very lost in it."

"And I'm a lot like my mom," Mae agreed.

"In some ways, yes. But mostly? You're entirely you," he said, claiming her lips.

"Bet I get to the bottom first," Mae challenged eagerly, bending her knees as she prepared to launch herself forward.

"Oh, you're on," Jacob said, plopping down beside her and fiddling with the straps securing the skis to his feet.

It was their third time racing. They'd been on the slopes since just before the sun peeked over the summit brilliantly welcoming the new day. Her face hurt from laughing so much, but she wanted to break the tie between them. So far, they'd each won once.

"What? Are you giving me a head start?" she demanded, eyeing him crossly.

"Sure, why not? I'll still win," he taunted, standing up and laughing at her sour expression.

"I don't need to cheat to win!" she yelled, affronted that he'd imply otherwise. She might use underhanded tricks to win, but it wasn't outright cheating.

"Don't you?" he asked drolly, firing her up.

"That was not cheating," she insisted, knowing exactly what he was referring to from the first race.

"You deliberately cut me off knowing I'm too much of a gentleman to plow through you," he accused innocently.

"Like hell you are," Mae snorted, using her pole to flick snow at him.

"Fine. On the count of three. One. Two. Three!" Mae gasped as a giant wolf exploded forward, tearing off down the steep side of the mountain while the echo of his count still sounded in the air.

"Now who's cheating!" she cried, taking off after him.

The pair zigzagged down the side, sailing across the frozen ground. The sight of Jake's tail wagging tauntingly before her spurred her on and gave her an idea. Three seconds later, she'd captured his tail and tugged hard enough to make him yelp and tumble.

He playfully snapped his teeth at her as she soared past him, laughing uproariously. Her distraction cost her. Mae hit a rock she'd not seen in her wild amusement, and the tip of her ski sunk down, flipping her over to land gracelessly in a snowbank.

Jacob appeared over her, pushing the tangled, wet strands of her hair away from her face. Melted snow dripped off his naked body, and she was mesmerized.

"Tie?" he suggested, grinning wide enough to display his even, white teeth, and the one on the bottom that was just slightly crooked.

"This time," she conceded, looping her arms around him to pull him fully atop her, and offer a kiss as a consolation prize.

January

Billy's digestive system was having issues again lately. Mae had pointed out to Jacob that his dad appeared to be losing weight again, and Jake had insisted on taking Billy back to the hospital to run more tests. Mae was particularly concerned since she knew about the health scare he'd had a couple years back.

They'd run a number of tests that day, and sent them home afterwards. All the doctors would say was that they'll call them back in when they had results, and until then, they shouldn't worry. Like that was possible!

There was a call a couple days later, asking them to come back in.

"Well, would you like the good news first or the bad?" the doctor asked when they were settled into an exam room. Jacob apparently knew the doctor from before, but Mae didn't. The guy looked days away from retiring, and she privately understood Billy's recalcitrance.

"Just get on with it, Doc," Billy grumbled, annoyed that Jacob and Mae were making such a big thing of it. Billy was convinced he was fine and they were imagining things.

"All right, Billy. You have cancer. Colon cancer to be precise. I believe we've caught it early enough that if we're aggressive in your treatment, the prognosis is good," he said confidently.

"But he was tested two years ago, and they said he was fine. That it was an allergy," Jacob said, shaking his head in protest of what he was hearing. Probably because they'd never actually figured out what the allergy was, and were just relying on supplements to keep Billy from continuing to lose weight.

Mae reached out to take Jake's hand, noting that his fingers had turned to ice and his palm was slick with terrified sweat. Yet the second her hand was in his, his fingers wove through her own, squeezing tightly. She offered every bit of strength she had, and Jacob seemed buoyed by the action even as he unconsciously leaned towards her.

"He probably was fine then. He's only in stage two right now, so this is likely fairly recent," the doctor explained, saying more, but Mae was too focused on Jacob to hear.

Jacob continued to berate the doctor, mentioning monthly checkups and demanding answers for why this wasn't detected sooner. All the while, Billy sat stoically, watching the events unfold. He didn't look the least surprised or concerned. Must be shock.

"You mentioned treatment," Mae interjected, redirecting the conversation away from the blame Jacob was trying to assign the doctor.

"A round of chemo, then surgery, and likely another round of chemo," he said, addressing her but speaking to Billy. "I'll give you a few minutes then send a nurse in to help you schedule your chemo and go over what you need to do in the meantime."

The doctor practically fled from the room. Probably terrified Jacob planned on hitting him. His size was rather intimidating, and anyone could see he was angry. It reminded Mae a little of when he'd fought Santiago.

"Oh, get that look off your face. I'm not dying anytime soon. I'm too stubborn for that, Jacob," Billy insisted, lightly touching Jacob's arm.

"Sure, sure," Jake croaked, the words coming out broken and hollow. Mae's chest ached hearing them.

"Mae, sweetheart, think you could track down that nurse? I don't want to be here any longer than I have to," Billy said quietly, not looking away from Jacob.

"Of course," she said, realizing he needed a moment alone with his son. She kissed Jacob's cheek before getting up to leave. He didn't immediately let go of her hand. Feeling the way he clung to her like a life preserver was the hardest part so far. Her composure nearly faltered right then and there, but she forced herself not to make a sound.

At least not before she reached the waiting room. Moving on autopilot, Mae dialed Carlisle's number.

"Grandpa? I need you now. I need you to come out here. Please. It's Billy. He has cancer," she said, bursting into painful, jerky sobs the moment the words left her mouth.

"Oh, Sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I'll be there first thing in the morning," he promised, murmuring nonsense to her until her sobs quieted to shaky hiccups. It didn't go unnoticed by her that he didn't promise a positive outcome. He'd not lie to her, and offer false platitudes.

"Thanks," she choked out.

Quickly as possibly, Mae composed herself, splashing water on her face in the bathroom until she looked fairly normal. Then she found a nurse and rejoined Jacob. He needed her to be strong for him right now. That was what mattered most just then.

That night, Jacob fell apart. It was the first time she'd ever seen him lose it. Not even after Embry died had he been so many jagged pieces scattered on the floor. Then he'd been in shock, a numb shell. This was worse.

For hours, Mae held him as his heart broke, a boy terrified of losing his father. And he clung to her, eliminating even the idea of space or distance separating them. It was only her holding him together.