He liked it when she smiled.
The fact that he liked it when she smiled confounded him at first, but after a bit of thinking, he concluded it was because he couldn't remember the last time anyone had smiled at him the way she did. Smiled with him present? Sure. Regina had done it all the time when he taught her magic. Smiled because they thought it was polite or they were nervous? Naturally. It was a defense mechanism; people did it without realizing constantly. Smiled because he'd just given them what they thought was everything, and they were excited? He saw that all too frequently, but being able to see the outcome spoiled it for him. But smiled because they were genuinely happy? Proud of him for doing nothing at all? No deal required? He hadn't really seen that since Bae and even then, Bae hadn't blushed the way she did when she smiled.
Their ride back to the castle was quiet. Without anyone to track, he felt free to use his magic, the same spell he'd used when he'd first brought her home actually, to get them back by the time night fell, and he didn't regret that decision. The quiet was nice. The rest was welcome. And every now and then, when her gaze moved about the cabin and caught his eye, he saw her blush before a smile tugged at her again, and she quickly looked outside at the blurring woods or tried to cover it with her hand. It was contagious, he'd caught himself smirking at the gesture more than a few times, and by the time they crossed the doors back into the grounds, he had to admit that it really was a beautiful smile.
Back inside, she began to fiddle with the clasp on her cloak, and it was barely a thought and wave of his hand before both his and hers disappeared into some closet somewhere. And then into the great room they went, just as they had all day. She led, he trailed after her. A million things that he could do raced through his mind. But the thought to leave her to go do them wasn't in his head at all. He didn't even know why he'd followed her. It was late. Nearly dark. He'd fed them on the road before they arrived. There was nothing left to do. No reason to follow her. And yet he hadn't been able to stop himself.
"Looks like you won't be needing that bow anymore," she finally commented, glancing at him out of the side of her eyes with her proud smirk. Her smile made him want to smile.
"Actually, I think I'll hold onto it," he responded, finally coming to a stop beside his chair. Where was he going? "You never know, could come in handy someday."
The comment helped to bring him around a bit. He'd felt odd since the forest. Dizzy, perhaps, was the best word for it. But the bow, despite what he'd told her in the forest was still working, it had magic in it, and the suggestion he might be finished with it helped him feel a little bit more like himself as he rebelled. He'd never gotten rid of something magical before without a deal being made or a purpose. He wasn't about to start now, no matter how topsy turvy the world felt at the moment. Even letting Robin take the wand had its benefits, though he couldn't see them now. Except of course, when she smiled...
Like that.
He'd stopped walking, but she'd moved on and now turned to face him again. The fireplace was glowing, but he'd seen her smile so many times today he knew she'd be blushing again. The shadows at the fire disguised it, but not well enough to hide it on her neck and chest. He hadn't been able to notice that when she'd been wearing her cloak.
"Well, uh…if you don't need me for anything else…good night, Rumpelstiltskin."
Rumpelstiltskin. She said it lyrically, like a laugh but not like the laughter it had garnered him in his youth. He liked it. Just like he liked her smile. It made him feel...lighter, somehow. Turning to watch her go to end her day and start one tomorrow that might not include that smile…
"No wait!" he shouted unexpectedly.
Wait? Wait for what?! What did he want her to wait for? Just one more smile? One more blush? Perhaps, but she wasn't smiling now, not as she turned to face him. She looked confused. He wanted that smile back. But what could he say that would bring it about? What could he do to bring it back, not just for today but for every day? He searched his mind, quickly going over a few things and dismissing them until he recalled their previous encounter in this room. He was almost embarrassed to remember it now, but there was helpful, valid information in that encounter. Information he could use. He had an idea.
"There is something else," he confessed, motioning over his shoulder, hoping she would take the lead so he could follow, but she hadn't a clue where he wanted her to go. He hadn't a clue either until a few moments ago! So he turned on his heel and led the way, happy to hear her footsteps follow after him.
He began to work his magic the moment they left the room. There was an empty tower, the one across from his own that she liked to look out of would work for what he had in mind. He needed a few things. With a summoning spell he called forth that couch that she'd moved into their Great Room before Robin Hood had arrived, he called forth a table and other chairs, a blanket and pillows, he sparked a fire to life in the fireplace. And then, just as he opened the door and they took to the stairs, he summoned the last but most important element.
The result was breathtaking, even for him.
He'd never really had a library in the castle. Oh, sure, he supposed there had been one for the previous owner somewhere, and there was his own private collection in his tower, but he'd left that alone. Instead, he'd called forth every other book he could find, gathered it in this one place, including the one that he'd snatched from her before they left. All assembled here in this room, on bookshelves that went as high as the wall, even he was impressed. And she…
She was speechless. They walked slowly around the place, and his heart raced as he looked over his shoulder, hoping to see her smile again only to get a better reaction. She really was breathless. Her jaw hung open as she looked about and took it all in. He'd done well. Looking in on her for all these years told him that she was a reader. This would, hopefully, make her time with him a bit more enjoyable. And lead to more smiles.
But he would never admit that. Not to her. Not to anyone.
"Temper your excitement, dearie," he urged as they continued their stroll. "This is just another room for you to clean."
"It's beautiful," she gawked. "There's more books here than I could read in a lifetime."
"Then I hope you can clean faster than you can read."
He doubted she'd heard the comment. She was already moving to the table where a book had positioned itself in the move. He could have sworn he heard a sigh of relief as she picked it up and began to page through it.
"Did you do all this for me?" she questioned, looking up at him. There was a smile on her face, yes, but also something in her eyes. Tears. Of gratitude, he dared to think. She liked it. And he liked that she liked it, but that too was something he couldn't dream of admitting.
"I better not see a single speck of dust gathering on any of these books!" he ordered. She smiled. Beamed all over again. He really liked it when she did that. "What are you smiling at, missy?!" he joked, pointing a finger at her and feigning, quite obviously and uncharacteristically, irritation.
She gave a small chuckle. She'd done that when she'd broken the teacup, and he'd made a joke. This time was a bit more natural. Did she think him funny?
Something inside of him leaped as she did something he hadn't expected. She put the book back down on the table, moved around it, then grabbed the hand that he'd pointed at her in her own. He straightened, shrinking from the contact that stole his breath. He didn't know how to react, he didn't know what to do when he felt skin that was more than a simple handshake. He didn't know why she was doing it. He didn't know how her hands could be so soft and warm. Had she been like that in the forest? Had he noticed?
"You're not who I thought you were," she confessed, her voice just as full of emotion as her eyes were tears. "And I'm glad."
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. There were too many thoughts going through his head for him to focus on one. But all at once, there was only one.
Who was he that she was glad?
Moments ago, he'd been happy, giddy almost! But now…he felt suddenly awful, truly terrible. These last few days…they'd been dreadful! He'd been so poorly behaved and yet…yet she was glad?! And here he was, standing in a library he'd secretly, or not so secretly, just crafted for her, hoping to get a smile, hoping that it might erase some of what had happened or at the very least make up for what he'd put her through. He wanted her happy? Why? He'd never cared before, not about anyone, not about what they thought of him or what he'd done. Why did her thoughts have such an effect? Why was he suddenly struggling not to cry for what felt like the first time in his life?
What spell had she cast indeed?
He couldn't think of something to say. So he did the only thing he could think to do to break the spell. He tore his hand from her grip and left. He left her standing there in her new library, and he locked himself in his room to hide like the coward he was; the coward she didn't see.
I hope you love this chapter! I love this chapter. I know it's got that slow feel to it again, but that was totally done on purpose. This was a big chapter for adding that layering into it that I talked about earlier in my "how men fall in love" research. He likes her smile. That seemed like a big step from the step-one "she's got nice cleavage". And of course, now he gets to add strength and gratitude and blushes to his list of things he's loving about her. It's building. Quickly. I hope that's easy to see.
Thank you MissAmande, Jennifer Baratta, and Grace5231973 for your reviews! I can't wait to hear what you'll say about this one. With so much action in it, I was a bit worried that it would come out badly, but so far I've been pleased with it and I'm hoping you'll report it's just fine as well! In the next few chapters we're moving on from the 2x19 chapters, we'll finish out 2x20 soon enough and we'll be on to the next important moment before you know it! Peace and Happy Reading!