Are You My Father?
The monsters had come again.
They weren't Draculas this time. Harry said he saw something big and hairy out front before Mr. and Missus Carpenter herded us to the panic room. I don't know why he was excited about monsters fighting people in front of the house. I suppose movies made monster fighting look cool, but real monsters were really scary and there was no guarantee that whoever was fighting them out there would win and save us.
I held on tight to Mouse the whole time. He helps when I'm having a panic attack, and the thought of losing another family because of monsters was making me panic.
I could tell Mouse was worried about me and I wished one of his powers was talking. Sometimes it helps to have someone talk to me. You see, Mouse is a magical super dog that my dad, Harry Dresden left for me. Or at least that's what Molly and everyone else says.
I wouldn't know, since I haven't really met my dad. I mean, he did come rescue me when I got taken by the monsters, but I don't remember much about back then and no one really talks much about it. What I do remember is that it was really, really scary and smelled like metal, and after all the terror, a pair of strong arms holding me close, keeping me safe. Ms. Murphy says those arms were my dad's.
I tried to remember how those arms felt, and not the monsters and the fear, as I held on to Mouse inside the panic room. His ears were twitching, probably listening to whatever was going on outside so he could warn us if the monsters got inside.
I hoped they didn't get inside. I didn't want Mouse or the Carpenters getting hurt, maybe even dying, to protect me from them.
And I hoped Mouse was cheating for whoever was fighting the monsters. I didn't want someone else, even a stranger, getting hurt protecting us either.
I'm not sure how long we waited for Mr. Carpenter to come back and signal the all-clear. It felt like forever and no time at all.
We were ushered out of the panic room and told to go back to bed, Mr. Carpenter would be around to tuck us in in a bit. It kind of felt like they were babying us with that, taking time to come up with the kid-safe version of what happened, but I was too tired to really argue with that.
So I was going to go back to bed, just like Hope and Harry were doing, but Mouse had other ideas.
When I went to turn into my room, he held steady and took a few more steps towards the stairs. For a moment, I was worried that maybe the monsters weren't all gone. However, Mouse's tail began wagging. In fact, it was wagging so hard I was surprised he wasn't wiggling back and forth in my grip.
I'd never seen Mouse wag his tail so hard. Maybe there was something really, really good downstairs.
We came to a stop at the top of the stairs, and at the bottom was a man, leaning against the front door.
He had a big black coat on, dark hair, and, when he turned around to look at us, a scarred face. He actually looked pretty scary, somewhere between a villain and the hero of a revenge movie. Just intense and dangerous.
And Mouse was happy to see him.
He made a soft chuffing noise and bounced forward a bit towards the man, shaking my balance with his movement. But just the once before remembering that I was still holding on to his ruff and that he was much bigger and stronger than me.
I studied the man's face, noting the scar over his right eye and on his chin. I was pretty sure I knew who he was.
"Are you Harry Dresden?" I asked.
He twitched, like he hadn't expected me to say anything, and replied, "Uh, yeah. That's me." He sounded kind of unsure, and I wondered, just a little bit, if that was because he wasn't sure he was Harry Dresden, or because he didn't think he'd have to introduce himself to me.
"You're really big," I decided to inform him. It was one of the things everyone told me about Harry Dresden that I knew wasn't a kid-safe version: he's the tallest person they ever met.
"You think so?" he asked, as if he hadn't really given it much thought.
"Bigger than Mr. Carpenter," I said with a nod. Afterall, Mr. Dresden's head looked like it could brush the top of the doorframe when he was leaning against the door. Not even Mr. Carpenter was that tall.
He was silent for a moment before awkwardly asking, "Um, how did you know it was me?"
"Because Molly showed me your picture," I explained.
And she'd apologized that there was only the one picture. Molly said that my dad didn't much like having his picture taken. She said that he'd worry his wizard powers would break the camera by accident. You see, wizards and technology don't really get along, and my dad is a really powerful wizard.
"This is my dog, Mouse," I said, introducing him to Mr. Dresden.
"I know," he said with a nod. "I'm the one who gave him to you."
"That's what Molly said. She said you gave him to me 'cause you love me."
"Yes. That's true," he said, looking a bit surprised.
It was nice to know that Molly had been telling the truth. I hadn't been sure since I'd never met my dad. Which was weird, if Molly hadn't been lying and my dad loved me, why hadn't I met him until now? Maybe, maybe… "Are you mad at me?"
He jerked like he'd been slapped.
"What? No, no, of course not," he said, with that panicked, worried tone adults get when you jump to wrong, bad conclusions. "Why would I be mad at you?"
I buried my face in Mouse's fur and mumbled, "Because you aren't here. Never, ever."
And when you're mad at someone you love, you don't go see them, because you don't really want to yell at them and say mean things. If Missus Carpenter gets mad at one of us, we're sent to our room until she's calm and we're calm, otherwise it's just a lot of yelling. He said he loved me, but this was the first time I'd ever seen him, so it only made sense if he was mad at me.
He was silent and I hugged Mouse a little tighter. I wasn't sure which would be worse, if he was lying about loving me or lying about being mad at me.
"Well, I have a very tough job. Do you know what I do?" he asked gently.
"You fight monsters," I stated, eyes flicking up to look at him. "Molly told me. Like Draculas and stuff."
He seemed surprised I knew. I'm not stupid like a lot of people are. I know monsters are real, that magic is real. The Carpenters didn't tell me I was crazy because I knew magic was real, not like some of the other kids or teachers at school would before I stopped talking about it.
"Yeah, like Draculas and stuff," he said, sounding tired. "It's very dangerous and I do it a lot."
"Mr. Carpenter works harder than two men. That's what Missus Carpenter says," I told him. I believed Missus Carpenter. Mr. Carpenter always seemed to be busy doing something.
"That's probably true," he agreed with a nod.
"But he comes home every night. And you haven't ever…"
I stopped. What if he did come home every night? Maybe it just wasn't this home. Had he been waiting for me to come to his home? Was he here now to take me to his home?
I hugged Mouse a little tighter, scared of the answer, but I had to know. "Are you going to take me away?"
"Um," he said, eyes flickering around, looking for something. "I, uh. Would you like that?"
"I don't know," I told him. I didn't know where he lived or what he was like, so I didn't know if I wanted to live with him. "My toys are all here. And my roller skates."
"That's very true," he said, sounding a bit relieved. I hid a wince at that. Maybe he didn't want to live with me. "Um. Not tonight, anyway."
"Oh, okay." That sounded a lot better. I'd have time to pack my stuff and, maybe, get to know him first. "Molly says you're really nice."
"I try to be," he said.
Mr. Carpenter had said that my dad didn't always think he was a good man, even though he was. And Mr. Dresden did seem pretty nice right now. I needed another opinion.
"Is he nice, Mouse?"
Mouse's tail hadn't quit wagging this whole time. He gave a quiet bark, not the loud kind that sent monsters running, as a simple yes.
"Mouse is smart. Really super dog smart," I explained. Afterall, most people don't think Mouse is smart, even though he's been going to school with me since I was little. "We're reading James and the Giant Peach."
He looked surprised, but not the 'you believe your dog can read?' kind of surprise. More like the 'you're reading that book at your age?' kind of surprise.
"Don't tell people about Mouse, though, okay?" I begged, remembering I wasn't supposed to tell people how smart Mouse is. If people know, then they wouldn't underestimate him, making it harder for him to protect me. "It's a top secret."
"I won't," he promised, looking very serious about it. I liked that he wasn't brushing me off like a lot of adults do.
"Okay. Do you wanna see my room?" I offered. Maybe he would set up something like it for me in his house. And I wanted him to see my stuff.
"I'd like that."
He came up the stairs and I got to really see how tall he was. Standing between him and Mouse made me feel really small. I knew I was the shortest kid in my class, but between the two of them I just felt extra small. And safe.
He looked scary, but he'd been really nice to me this whole time, and people thought Mouse was scary because he's so big all the time, so maybe Mr. Dresden was like that.
I reached out and grabbed his hand, the one that didn't look all wrinkley and weird, and walked down the hall to my room, sandwiched between him and Mouse.
I let go of Mouse once we reached my room so I could climb up the ladder to my bed. Mouse bounced over to Mr. Dresden with some happy whines and a big doggy smile while I did. Mr. Dresden was really happy too, smiling and petting Mouse while heaping praises on him.
I'd learned shortly after getting Mouse that most people who were that nice to my doggy friend and got licks and love back from him were good people. It was nice to know Mouse really did like him. I liked all the people that Mouse liked, so maybe Mr. Dresden really could be my dad.
After nearly pushing Mr. Dresden over, Mouse came to settle under my bed, where he always stayed at night ever since the underhide. I decided to see what Mr. Dresden thought about it.
"I have a monster under my bed, and it's Mouse. There was another one but me and Mouse slayerized it."
He lifted an eyebrow at that. It wasn't a 'do you really expect me to believe that?' eyebrow either. It was more a 'Oh really? I've got to hear this' eyebrow. It was really looking like he wasn't as stupid as most grown-ups, which was cool.
"He's the most awesome dog ever," is what he eventually said to my mentioning of the underhide.
"I know!" I crowed. Not many people figured that out on their own. I decided then that I really liked him, but would he be…
"Um… Would you like to…" be my dad? I wanted finish with. It was a big idea, and kind of scary, but I wanted it. Did he? I wasn't sure if I was ready for him to maybe say 'no,' so I finished with "tuck me in?" instead.
"Sure," he said with a nod and a soft smile that made him look more like a dad.
I nodded back and laid down. He stepped up to my bed, easily reaching over the side rails to grab the blankets, and started tucking me in. It was a bit strange for the person tucking me in to be able to peer over the rails without any problem, though a nice kind of strange. Having a really tall dad could be cool.
"Would you like to read me a story?" I asked once I was tucked in. Mouse gave his agreement with the idea by thumping his tail against the wall.
"Sure," he said with another little smile that said he liked me. I directed him to my bookshelf and asked for Where the Wild Things Are.
His voice rumbled in his chest, steady and strong, as he read it. I liked his voice. The only problem was, "You didn't do the voices right."
He gave a thoughtful hum. "Maybe I'll do better next time."
"I don't know. I guess you can try," I said, not sure if he could do as well as Mr. Carpenter, who had a lot of practice with his kids doing the voices right. Then I realized that he'd kind of offered to read me more bedtime stories, which meant he'd have to come over more, which meant, maybe…
"Do you want to be my dad?" I whispered.
He looked like he was about to cry as a wobbly smile took over his face.
"Sure," my dad managed to croak out, and I could feel my own watery smile coming out.
I fell asleep as my dad read Where the Wild Things Are a second time, doing a better job at getting the voices right.
I hoped that he'd get better at being a dad too.
Author's Note
I seriously love the short story Zoo Day in the Brief Cases anthology. And I love Maggie and Dad!Harry, so I had to take a shot at writing their first meeting in Skin Game from Maggie's POV.
I hope it turned out alright.