An End for a Hero

…

Commissioned by Marteddu

Wordcount: 2500

…

I took a breath, calmed myself down, took hold of the doorknob… and entered the café.

Warmth spilled over me, along with the scent of freshly roasted coffee, as I crossed the threshold.

It was supposed to be simple.

I wasn't supposed to feel so nervous by just opening a door.

Yet, despite Fate and Hayate's encouragement ringing in my ears, I wanted to run away.

Not because I was walking into a coffee shop, but because of the person who owned it, operated it, and who greeted me with a smile as soon as I entered.

"Ah, welcome, Nanoha-san." Shirou-kun stood behind the counter of his café. He was already hard at work preparing for his opening before lunch. Usually the shop wasn't open until eleven, but for friends and former allies, he made an exception. "Take any seat you want. Would you like breakfast or lunch?"

You.

A part of me that I didn't completely understand nearly overtook me, and I felt a blush spread across my face, even though I managed to stop myself from saying it.

In a fight, I liked how my instincts decided things. It gave me leeway to think, to plan, and to end the fight deceivably.

Here and now?

I could barely stop myself from stuttering, since I couldn't trust myself with just taking.

"T-thank you, Shirou-kun." I didn't just stutter. I also put enough of "something" that I felt into saying his name that Shirou blinked and nearly turned to me, before shaking his head. The room grew even warmer when I realized he noticed my mistake. "Ah, uhm, here! I brought you something!"

"Ah. Thank you very much, Nanoha-san." He turned and smiled at me. Somehow, despite all my training, my legs felt like jelly. I was barely capable of standing, let alone match his gaze, as he took the small bag I offered him. "Oh! This is amazing, Nanoha-san!"

The moment I heard his joy though, I could barely contain myself.

"Really! You like it?" A smile spread across my face that I couldn't control, and even though I could barely enter the shop a moment ago, I practically latched onto the countertop of the bar that separated his kitchen from the rest of the store. My eyes latched onto his smile, the light flush on his face, and the real joy in his eyes without any conscious effort on my part. "I'm so glad to heart that!"

"How could I not? This is perfect for my home upstairs." Shirou smiled as he withdrew the premium rice cooker. I had my doubts about the gift, despite how Fate, Hayate, and even Yuuno agreed on it. "This is the perfect housewarming gift, Nanoha-san. I'll be sure to use it every day."

And, just like that, with a simple sentence my elation at hearing his joy turned into absolute embarrassment and trepidation.

Every day.

He was going to use my gift every day.

And, thus, my brief burst of confidence shattered into a million, tiny pieces and I found myself only capable of looking at my feet, while my face felt like molten glass.

"G-good! That's very good! I'm happy to hear that!" My mouth ran without any input from my whatsoever, as I suddenly felt like I was being swamped by a heat wave. Everything felt too warm, even though I was in a small café in the middle of winter. "Ummm, ah… I'll just take a seat and wait for breakfast, okay!?"

I didn't even manage to wait for Shirou-kun to reply, before I fled to the corner stable with my face practically on fire.

I knew.

Of course, I knew that I liked him.

I knew, but the moment I decided to take action, to do something about my feelings, all my talent and ability vanished into nothingness.

I took off my coat and scarf, and put them on the back of my chair, and I did everything I could to calm and cool down. The store was still warming up from the portable heaters, and the cooking that was going on, so the winter chill was still able to reach me. However, try as I might, the cold winter breeze couldn't stop the blush that set my ears alight.

And, every time I closed my eyes to take a second to breathe, I saw his giddy, happy smile again.

Thus, any attempt I made to calm and cool down ended in abject failure.

I wanted to be calm, cool, and collected like Fate. She always had a lot of guys chasing after her, and each time she was able to take their confessions head on. Being hotblooded and impulsive was fine in battle, but in things like… like… like love… I wanted to be able to be objective, capable, and talented like Fate.

Yet, I was blushing up a storm, and trying to hide it by laying my head on arms at a café table.

I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or happy, because both emotions were clashing, fighting, and doing their best to lay claim to my mind, while the effects of their fight were already ravaging me with terrible, terrible damage.

I felt less like a person and more like an amalgam of fuzzy, shaky nerves coursing with the need to run away and stay.

It was so bad that I barely noticed Shirou-kun take a seat across from me, after he laid my breakfast in front of me.

Oh no.

Please.

Not now, when I'm barely hanging on by a thread, Shirou-kun!

"I made your favorite. Don't worry no one else is here to look at you strangely." It was a large slice of toast with whipped cream and jam. A terrible meal for a breakfast, and something he didn't even offer on his menu, yet he had all the ingredients ready just for me. Even though I knew that he could make all of our favorite dishes, that fact barely bothered me. "Though you need to be more considerate of your health, Nanoha-san."

"But it's delicious, and what's life without a treat every now and then?" I took some comfort in my favorite breakfast by bringing it closer. It wasn't that bad, and most of the time I'm looking after myself. "Don't you think so too, Shirou-kun?"

Normally, Fate would say that I would have too many treats when I say such a thing, but Shirou-kun smiled… in a way that made a chill go down my spine.

"Every now and again, huh? Wouldn't you say that's too lax, especially for your health, Nanoha-san? You should be taking care of yourself." Shirou-kun took the seat across from me, and placed his own breakfast down. It was rice, grilled fish, and natto along with a simple salad. I reeled at the health and the implication, and guarded my precious toast from its terrible effects. "I heard from Testarossa-san that you're eating at a café more frequently than you should."

Fate… after all we've been through… how could you betray me!?

"…I'll make sure to only have this sort of meal once a week… and yours doesn't count, because I can tell you're making it healthy, Shirou-kun!" I enjoyed what he made for me, but I've eaten enough delicious treats to know when one of them was… was very mindful and considerate of my health. Oh, goodnesss. I can't even be angry with him for making my favorite food healthier! I've truly lost haven't I!? "That's as far as I'm willing to compromise—

"Once every ten days, and I'll start making your breakfast just how you like it, instead of changing things."

"Deal!"

We were silent for a moment, before Shirou-kun laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh as well.

I wanted to move forward.

I knew that I couldn't simply keep tiptoeing around the issue… but couldn't I wait just a little more before Shirou-kun rejected me?

Because, after all, there's no way he'd ever be with the person who took away his home from him forever.

…

It was years ago, but I remembered it well.

We were fighting against something that came from his world, a Dead Apostle, who came to be by discovering Linker Cores through the traversal of parallel worlds. The TSAB and Shirou-kun's own organization opposed it together, along with many others from his world, as it continued to spawn more and more familiars under its control with Linker Cores of their own.

It was a war that lasted for years, as we fought together against nests of creatures that could multiply, infect, and create powerful warriors within days.

We fought, worked together, and destroyed all the Dead Apostles of the lineage we could… and we continued to do so until we found the source.

And, as we fought against the source of it all, the Mages Association and TSAB agreed to seal our worlds away from one another, as to ensure such a devastating being couldn't exist ever again.

In order to do that, they needed power.

And, I gave them all the power they needed.

They launched the weapon while we were fighting the source of it all. It cut him off from any possible escape route, but in the process trapped those who were fighting with us.

They all agreed, one and all, that it was a necessary action. Not a single one of them complained about the hand they were dealt, especially as it ensured the destruction of our foe, yet even as they accepted all our explanations, apologies, and restitutions… I can't forget the grief in all their eyes.

The grief in Shirou-kun's eyes when he realized that he would never see Rin-san gain.

It was years ago.

The mages left on our side have settled down, taken careers within the TSAB, and some are working towards finding a way back to their home without breaking the barrier.

Fate and Hayate both told me that I should try, that I should confess the feelings that started welling up within me as we kept visiting him, as we helped him settle down, and as we supported his new goals.

Yet, every time I considered it, I remembered that sad smile he had after he landed the final blow and saved so many worlds,

The sorrow that he felt when he became a hero, but was still forced to give up the person he loved.

Even if my involvement in the TSAB's seal was circumstantial… I couldn't bring myself to say a single word.

Despite the time that has passed, despite all the new memories we had, and despite how much he has changed…

I can only recall the moment when I took away his victory.

…

Shirou offered me a smile, as I helped wash the plates for our breakfast. The taste of the food lingered on my tongue, and the warmth of the water washed over my hands, yet I couldn't focus in the slightest.

He was right next to me, close enough that our shoulders brushed against one another, yet I couldn't cherish the memory in the slightest.

It was always the same.

Whenever we spent time together, the first few minutes of our meetings felt… good. I felt shock, amazement, and a dozen other feelings I never knew I could feel.

Then, as time passed, the memories of what I did came to the forefront of my mind.

And, they crushed any hope I had, while taking away all of my initiative.

I wanted to confess, even if it meant being rejected, because I wanted to spend time with him without the emotions I had now.

However, I couldn't, despite everyone efforts, my own commitment, and my own desires.

No matter what I did, I couldn't close that final bit of distance between the two of us—

"Nanoha-san… can you tell me what's hurting you?" Shirou-kun's voice shocked me the moment I heard it, and shocked me again as I realized what he said. A deep panic welled up in my chest, and I could barely keep holding the plate I was drying in my hand, until I felt his hand take hold of my shoulder. He turned me to face him. "I can see it. You're trying to hide it, but I you're in pain. I want to help."

A part of me wondered how obvious my feelings must be, but most of me trembled as I looked at him.

His brow was furrowed, his jaw tightened, and his usual, calm gaze was narrowed and anxious.

He was worried for me.

Truly, completely worried.

Seeing his worry, knowing that my current actions pained him even in the slightest, forced me to take action.

And to look away, and hide my face, before I hurt him anymore.

"I want to confess to you, but I'm worried that you hate me." Some of the words I practiced saying were present, but it wasn't at all the confession I wanted to make. I wanted to look him in the eye, to take the initiative, and do everything right, yet I couldn't even manage to look at him. "I… I've been trying to tell you, even if it meant being rejected, but I just couldn't."

Still, even though it wasn't even close to being the perfect confession, I felt a weight fall off my shoulders the moment I uttered those words.

Now, no matter the outcome, everything was going to be settled—

"Nanoha, would you like to meet me this Sunday and go on a date?"

Fwueh?

Eh?

Hah?

Words that I never expected to hear repeated themselves again and again in my brain. My worries melted away, and I looked up. My heart was beating so loudly that I couldn't hear the running water from the faucet, while my face heated up to such a degree that I could feel the neck of my sweater grow warm.

Then, there was the fact that I could do nothing but stare at the light blush on Shirou-kun's face, as he scratched the small scar on his cheek, and did his best to not look away out of embarrassment.

The moment I saw his face, I knew that I was idiot, because all my fears and worries stopped me from seeing him like this.

I liked Shirou Emiya.

I liked the man who I fought beside.

I like the hero who gave up everything to save billions of lives.

However, now that I realized that there were parts of him that only a few others saw, I realized that I loved him.

That I wanted to see more of his hidden sides every day.

Therefore, there was only one possible answer to his question, despite the fact his store was set to open in an hour.

I eliminated the distance between the two of us, wrapped my arms around him, and answered his question with a kiss.

I let go of so many moments by being so indecisive.

Not anymore.

A Way Home

…

Commissioned by Marteddu

Wordcount: 2500

…

It was a miracle that all my friends managed to contain themselves until lunch, before they pounced upon me with a myriad of questions.

"How was it? Magical? Amazing? Absolutely hedonistic?" As I expected, Hayate's mind was in the gutter as she leaned forward with a near-crazed look in her eye. Despite the commander's uniform that she wore, I could only see a young girl who needed to reign her in both her mind and imagination. "I want to be called Hayate-chan by all your kids. Not auntie!"

"Fate-chan… I know that bento is a super-amazing, homemade bento made by your husband… but can I have some pleasseeeee." Nanoha, meanwhile, was salivating and staring at the lunch Shirou prepared for me. "It looks like a lot, so I can have some right?"

Thankfully, while I was more than willing to handle both of my friends through a stern talking-to, Shirou was far kinder and lenient than I.

Upon unwrapping the wrapping of my bento box, my lunch was revealed to the eyes of all within the cafeteria.

Or, rather, the three layers of lunches that my husband prepared for my very nosy, very hungry friends, because he knew that they'd want to spent time with me after our long honeymoon together.

"Hayate, refrain from any insinuations, and Nanoha, feel free to eat your fill." Each layer of the bento box was meticulously made with all three of us in mind. My layer was tempura, with a side of salad, and a sealed container of soup. Hayate was set to enjoy some salmon over rice, alongside a seaweed salad, and a small slice of cake. Nanoha had layers of rice, meat, and vegetables that could feed a family, yet would only serve her until dinner. "It is nice to see you both, after my honeymoon."

As they both took their meals, I was reminded of the many times we ate together with food prepared by Shirou, except this time there was a ring on my finger… and I brought the food along from home instead of him dropping it off for us.

"Mmmm! So good, I missed Shirou-kun's cooking so much!" Nanoha guarded her layer of the bento box with her arms, while she slowly chewed and savored the food within her mouth. One look at her confirmed that I needn't worry about her any longer. Her appetite was sated, therefore I little to fear from my closest friend. "Its sooo gooodddd!"

Hayate took a moment to appreciate Shirou's thoughtfulness, before her more perverse tendencies arose, and overcame my warnings in an instant.

"Ooh, is that lemon I see there? And is that a vinaigrette on your salad, Fate-chan?" Hayate attempted to insinuate, but the information she sought to convey was very clear. She was implying if I was pregnant, and had the typical, sour cravings one would have in such a state. I levelled a glare at her, but it was to no avail. Her grin simply widened. "I was thinking of going to bar to celebrate tonight, but maybe I should book a restaurant instead, hmmm?"

Given the fact that I already gave her the chance to be silent, and warned her against any more salacious comments, I decided to take more direct action against Hayate's perverse mind.

"If you keep talking, I'll call Signum."

"I'll be good."

Ah, finally.

I get to enjoy the meal my husband has prepared for me.

…

Shirou stated he was fine with a small apartment close to work for my sake. However, after learning of his past home, and evaluating the mound of savings I had due to my focus, I decided that it was within our means to have a plot of land and a home much like what he had in the past.

We now both lived in a modernized, traditional Japanese home. Some rooms had tatami mats, others hardwood floors. There were both sliding doors, and doors that swung out and properly locked. Several walls were thin and meant to be opened to allow ventilation, and others were more… insulated from the rest of the house for reasons of privacy.

Even though he was willing to spend his time at home cleaning, cooking, and washing by hand, I decided against allowing him to do such things, so modern amenities were available. Four automatic vacuum cleaners roamed the halls and rooms, and he had a vacuum cleaner all his own. The kitchen had all the necessary appliances and was large enough for both of us to cook in. Should there be a thunderstorm, I invested in a dryer to go along with the washer, and thus there was no need whatsoever for him to spend too much time on chores.

"I'm home, Shirou."

"Welcome home, Fate."

Especially when he should be spending time on me.

I did not hesitate to fall into his extended arms, and enjoy his embrace, after a long day at work.

"Heh. You seem tired." I pressed myself against him. Not in a flirtatious manner, but in a manner that demanded both affection and care. Underestimating the difficulty of returning to work oafter three weeks of vacation was my error, but as I held onto him, took in his warmth and presence, the results of that error was swiftly being washed away. "How was your day, Fate?"

The words "fine," "pleasant," and "typical" all danced upon my tongue, as it did with strangers, but with Shirou they were completely replaced.

"My staff did only the minimum amount of work and have grown lax. Reports were incessant, and I yearn for rest." A fuzzy sensation lingered all over my body. It was not painful, but it felt as though I were lightly burning throughout my body. As ludicrous as it seemed, I was burned out after my fast day back to work. "Please be nice to me."

"Okay, okay. I'll be nice." Shirou laughed and I felt some of my strength return. However, I felt no reason at all to use it, as he simply picked my up in his arms and gave me a grin as I grasped his shoulders for support. "Would like dinner, or a bath first?"

"I have no energy for a bath with you, so dinner first." I answered without hesitation with the factual truth. Was I partly worried that our private time together would have to wait for weekends? Yes, but I had nothing to prove, and I was sure that I would regain my ability to work in an office shortly. Then, I would be able to decisively answer that I would very much like a bath with my husband. "What is it?"

"Beef stew. It's my first time making it, so I hope you'll be kind to me." Shirou gave me another smile, this one reaching his golden eyes. His hair was long after our honeymoon, and so he tied it a bandana. With his apron, he wouldn't be out of place in a restaurant or a café. If he wanted to pursue such a job, I would support him, even it was unnecessary. Cooking was a good hobby. "I asked Signum for some help."

I tilted my head at the mention of Signum.

"Signum can cook?"

"She has been practicing, and it's one of her favorites." Shirou answered easily, while carrying me into the kitchen. He was not at all winded by my weight, and easily set me down to sit on one of the chairs at the counter. There was a table for eating meals at, but it was large and meant for parties with guests. I much preferred to eat with him close by, so we dined on the kitchen on high stools. "If Hayate has been too perverse, you should bring some along tomorrow, since she's been getting sick of it."

"Who are you you and what have you done with my kind, gentle husband?"

Shirou laughed at my little joke, even if it wasn't all that good, and moved towards the stove. He retrieved two bowls quickly and ladled simmering stew into both. He set my plate with the bowl of soup and a side of bread, while he had a bowl of rice. It was not the milkbread that most Japanese stores had, but the heartier, European version, which I preferred. I did not know where he found it, but I was interested in going there with him in the near future, perhaps this very weekend.

"Thank you for the meal." Shirou uttered thanks, and I did the same, before we both began to eat. We ate in silence together. I enjoyed the warmth of the soup, the richness of the beef, and the taste and texture of bread soaked in powerful, tasty broth. Still, even as I enjoyed the meal, I was prepared for my husband's habits. "Hmmm, it's still chewy."

"It is good."

"The sauce is a little thin."

"I don't mind."

"I could have used less potatoes to make it healthier."

"It is fine to be unhealthy every now and again."

Shirou hmmm'd and hummed his analysis of his foods as we ate, while I simply consumed it. There were several foods that he perfected by doing this, and I grew used to it as we dated, so I simply moved, calmly flowed along with the tide.

The chunks of beef were savory, and were pleasant to chew, never reaching the state where it was nothing more than dry gristle before disappearing. The sauce was indeed thin, but the hearty nature of my bread accounted for that fact, even if his rice did not. And, finally, what was beef stew without plenty of delicious, amazing potatoes? Could the very nature of beef stew be sacrificed for the sake of health?

I would proudly attest that it would be better to have beef stew on occasion, with many, many potatoes, than have a healthier beef stew more often.

Some things were simply better unhealthy, so that they could be enjoyed properly.

…

While most of the house was traditional Japanese, I was used to a bed, and Shirou was more than willing to share a bed with me. Thus, we lay upon a queen-sized bed after we took separate baths. We shared a closet, and I had a dresser with a mirror, but besides that our bedroom only had two desks for lights, books, and electronics at our respective sides.

Since I have lived with him for more than a year and a half, I was used to sleeping with him in the evening, yet tonight was different.

Tonight my mind was plagued by Hayate's incessant insinuations, and even though I could tell that Shirou was about to fall asleep, I couldn't help but worry.

"Shirou?"

"Yes, Fate?"

"What if I cannot have children?" During our honeymoon, and even before that, we spent much time together. Since we decided that we wanted to have children, contraceptives were unnecessary, so we moved onward without as soon as our wedding was planned and set. However, after six months, and even with our more… amorous tendencies… I was not yet with child. It worried me immensely. "I know that we went to a physician, and we both checked whether we're both able, yet… nothing has happened yet."

He and I both wanted a child.

He wanted to be a good father, to raise a child, and give them a nice life in the peaceful world we fought hard to attain together.

I wanted to be the mother of his children, because I wanted him to be happy, and to see, feel, and touch a person that we made together.

We both made sure that we could have children, and before we checked whether we could, we both agreed we could adopt if it was impossible.

I had no qualms with the idea, yet after I learned that I could have children with him, my feelings on the matter were clear.

Without a doubt, even if it sounded cruel, I wanted us to have a child that was completely ours.

Yet there was still no sign of that dream coming true.

My feelings on the matter must've been clear, as Shirou didn't reply immediately, but instead contemplated for a long time to find a proper answer.

"We don't we try more often, more regularly?"

I closed my book at his jest, did my best to suppress my blush, and ignored my body's other reactions before I answered him with a face as straight as I could manage.

"Shirou, I am willing to do that, but I am also serious." I was gratified at the blush on his face at my direct answer to his lewd statement. However, I also wanted an answer to my previous question. "But I am truly worried that I cannot have kids. I know what the physician said, but… what if she is wrong? What if the way I was created DID affect my ability to have children?"

If I were an individual who made a clone of my deceased child, to be a reminder of how I was wronged and hated by others, I would not give that clone the ability to have children. Why would I endeavor to replicate such a process within a creature that I didn't intend to see continue after I fulfilled my objectives and regained my true daughter?

A doll.

A fake.

That was all that I would've needed.

Nothing more.

"…Then, we'll go to another, and another, and another to confirm things. And, if that's the case, we find a way to let you have kids by going out there and looking for it." When Shirou spoke, he spoke decisively and while holding my hand. He sat up on the bed and turned completely to face me. His golden eyes bore into my own gaze and I could look away as my breath hitched. Any thought I had of bringing up adoption again faded, as I knew that he knew my true, selfish feelings on the matter. "I swore that I'd do my best to keep you happy, Fate. I'll keep that practice no matter what."

Logically, I knew that those words alone shouldn't have calmed my fears. There was plenty more that needed to be said, and far more concrete assurances and plans placed on the table.

However, after hearing those words, my body reacted by itself… and I was upon the man I loved and pulling up the hem of my nightgown with both my hands.

The first time this happened, when his words overtook me, Shirou was surprised.

After that first time, he made many jokes about the "quiet ones," but they ceased when he realized that it wasn't a single occurrence.

It was my preference, and by now he has grown used to it.

He smiled faintly as I undid his clothes for him, while straddling his waist.

"Well… I guess I asked for this didn't I?"

Given his words, his affirmations, and the duty that shone in his eyes with his promise?

"Yes, you did, Shirou-kun."

Without a doubt, he did.