Chapter 1

4 years later…

Sirius

Sirius was sitting in a detention. Again.
Beside him was James. They were sorting student files. They got detention by walking around the castle at night. It wasn't the first time they done it this school year. And it was middle of October.

"Why do you still like that Evans girl?" Sirius asked. "She told on us for, like, tenth time this school year." James smirked at that.
"I guess I like feisty girls." He responded.
"I guess that you are stupid." He said back. They laughed. It was true. James could get any girl he wanted. He was playing quiditch. He was charming, funny and good looking. All girls in school were drooling for him. Even girls from Slytherin. All except Evans.
Lily Evans. Hogwarts golden girl. Brilliant in every subject, prefect, teachers pet, always avoiding trouble. Kind to everyone (except James). And to top it all off, absolutely gorgeous. She was so perfect, it was kind of annoying.

And this time Sirius wasn't angry just because they were in detention. He was also angry because they weren't able to find what they needed. This time they weren't just pulling a prank on Slytherin students. They were going to the library. Restricted section. They were looking for a book on animagi. That was all that was on Sirius's mind since last year.

Since first year, he always noticed there was something wrong with Remus. Not exactly wrong with him. More like something wrong was happening to him.
For a few days every month, he would kind of disappear. At first they all thought that he was just being sick. Until one day by the end of year, Sirius went to visit him at madam Pomfrey's. She told him Remus wasn't there. He was confused. Where else could he be?

One time after one of those periods, Sirius caught him alone.
"Hey, Remus, where were you these past few days?" he asked him. He hoped he wasn't driving him away.
"Oh, I was just sick." He answered as usual.
"But you weren't in the dorms. You weren't at madam Pomfrey's. Where were you?"
"I don't really want to talk about it." Remus said, looking uncomfortable. Sirius decided not to push him.

Until last year. Last year, Remus was miserable. He wasn't as good in classes like he used to be. He looked tired all the time. Sirius, James and Peter were very worried about him. No. They were scared for him. He wasn't that studious, but still kind of laid back, sarcastic, stable, responsible Remus. He wasn't himself. He was just a shell, walking from class to class. So Sirius decided to confront him about it in May.

They were in their dorms. Remus was hunched over his desk.
"Okay, listen to me." Sirius said. Remus instantly turned his head at him, looking confused. "Something is going on with you. Something bad. You are miserable. And we are all worried for you. So please tell me what the hell is going on?"
"I, I, I…" Remus looked startled. "I can't."
"You have to." Sirius continued demanding.
"No, I can't. It's the worst thing about me. And it's a part of me. You can't help me."
"I can try! And I will. I will help you whatever it is. I always will. But first you have to tell what it is. I can't help you, if I don't know what are you dealing with." Sirius tried to sound as calm as possible, when in reality he was the more scared than ever.
Remus took a deep breath.
"There are only two people in the world who know this. And I know that you are going to tell this to James and Peter. But that is how it should be. No more people. I feel like five people are even more than it should be. Please promise me that this will stay a secret."
"I promise. I swear on my life, I will never tell anyone. You are my best friend, Remus. You know I won't tell anyone else." Sirius said, still fighting to sound rational. Remus rose from his chair and walked up to him.
"And if you hate me after this, I completely understand." Remus continued.
"I could never hate you. Now, please tell me." He couldn't take it anymore. Remus took another breath.
"I am a werewolf." He said. Sirius was stunned. He didn't know what to say. And then he realized. It made perfect sense.
"Oh, my god, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I am sorry for not seeing it. I am just…" he was malfunctioning.
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He was looking at floor, while Sirius wanted to beg him to look him in the eyes. He felt weak in his knees. He sat down on the bed.
"How could I be so selfish? How could I not see it? Once a month, always on the full moon, you never talking about your past…"
"Sirius, it's not your fault. I was hiding it well. You are not selfish."
"How old were you? When you were…"
"I was five." Sirius couldn't wrap his mind around that. Five years old. That is horrible at any age. But five… Sirius felt his tears coming. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He rose up from his bed and hugged Remus. He hugged him as hard as he could.
"I will try to help you. I know I can't make it go away, but I can try to make it easier for you. Just let me." Sirius was holding himself onto him. Like he always did. Like he knew he always will.

He hated coming home for holidays. He hated his family. Everyone was going out of their way to make Sirius feel like absolute garbage. Almost everyone. His brother Regalus was only one who tried treating him like a human being. But Regalus was always aloof and quiet. Kind of Sirius's opposite. Or everything his stupid family wanted him to be. He liked Regalus. They were really close as kids, but after they got to Hogwarts and Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, his family practically disowned him. His mother was always rude to him, but after he got home for Christmas that year, she became cruel. Regalus was still nice, but they kind of drew apart in Hogwarts. They asked each other how are they, how are classes, how are friends, but not too deep.

So Sirius found himself writing letters. He was writing them to both Peter and James, but mostly to Remus. Remus was the one he felt most comfortable when talking about his emotions. And he always asked about his drawings.

Sirius's mother always hated when he was drawing. Saying that it was a waste of time, that he should focus more about actually important things. Saying that she would maybe respect him if he wasn't all about his stupid drawings and his stupid blood traitor and half breed friends. But Sirius always liked drawing. He liked making them more than taking pictures. He felt like drawings have more depth. He always had a random paper and a muggle pencil in his pockets. Muggle pencils were way better for drawing than quills. They were more precise and easy to replace.

He was drawing everything. He was drawing house elves working at a Hogwarts kitchen. He was drawing merpeople peering out of the black lake. Delicious food in the great hall. James's face every time Lily passed by. Him with his friends. He didn't really liked drawing himself. He felt a bit stupid when he was doing that. And he drew Remus. He always had several drawings of him. He always felt like they weren't good enough.

Remus was always complimenting him on his drawings. Saying he appreciates his creativity and memory. For Christmas next year Remus gave him this book with blank pages, saying that muggles use it the same way they use parchments in class. Sirius never drew there. He was just putting his drawings there.

He spent his Summer trying to figure out how to help him. How could he make something so terrible a little less terrible? He knew he couldn't fix it. You can't stop being a werewolf. That is not possible. But he couldn't just stand back and do nothing while his best friend is suffering.

He spent so many nights just staring into the celling, trying to think of something that would help him. Remus told him that he is hiding and transforming in this shack at the end of Hogsmeade. So he thought what if they could sneak into the shack? As someone else?

Nobody deserves to be turned into a werewolf against their will at such young age. But Remus was the last person who deserved that. He was just so quiet, yet still impactful, so understanding, incredibly intelligent, kind, ready to help anyone, a good listener and so, so, so bea…

"All right, gentlemen!" he heard professor McGonagal coming in. "That would be enough. I would tell you that I hope that you learned your lesson, but I know you didn't. This is your fifth year here, so I decided that scolding is pointless. Just don't be caught next time."
He and James put their papers back into boxes and put them on McGonagal's desk. James started to leave. He looked back.
"I'll come in the minute." Sirius said. James nodded and left the classroom. "Professor?"
"Yes, mr. Black?" she said. He hated being called that.
"You are an Animagus, right?" he asked. She turned around and turned into a cat before his very eyes. She just gave him her typical McGonagal look and turned back into her usual state.
"Yes, I am." She said.
"How did you become an Animagus?" he continued.
"Why are you asking?" she asked, sounding skeptical.
"Just curiosity." He said. He was good at lying. He always lied to his mother.
Professor took out a piece of parchment and a quill. She wrote something on it and gave it to him.
"It is a pass for a restricted section of the school library. There are books on Animagi there, including how to become one." She said and gave him the warmest smile he ever received from woman older than him.
"Thank you, professor. I promise you, I will never break any rules ever again." He kind of couldn't believe that he was saying that.
"Don't make me laugh. You can just do your assignment next time. I am tired of grading mr. Lupin's assignments twice." She said. He had to suppress a laugh. He always liked professor McGonagal. She was strict, but fair. And she obviously cared for her students. He knew she cared for him and James too. She was probably just tired of their bullshit.
"I promise that. I owe you for this." He said and left the classroom.

Remus

He and Peter were waiting for James and Sirius to come from their detention. He was looking at a calendar. In two weeks and one day. Three days. Three day of torture this month. Professor Dumbledore was always giving him these. He was getting them for every New year. It always said the same. "You worry about so many things, you don't have to worry about this too." He at least didn't have to take care of the moon cycle. And where is he going to transform. He was glad someone was taking care of this problem.
Peter was quiet beside him. Common room was almost empty, except for the two of them. Peter was always quiet. But Remus liked that. He wasn't really in the mood for conversations these days.

His father was dying. His father was slowly dying at home, while he is here listening to classes and laughing with his friends.

He came home last Summer, excited to see his father as always. He loved Hogwarts and he loved his friends, but he also loved his father. He would always be writing to him. Talking about what is he learning, how good he is at most stuff, how he loves hanging out with Sirius, James and Peter. Last year, his father's responses became shorter. He thought that was a bit odd, but he just thought that he had a lot to do. His father owned a little magic diner in London called Enchanted Brew. It was invisible to muggles, but it was kind of popular among magic folk in London. Remus was always helping out during school breaks. And he liked it. It wasn't cold and dark like Leaky Cauldron. It was a pretty place with good lighting, yellow painted walls, red booths and a jukebox with good music. He also noticed the diner is popular among teenage wizards and witches. Especially young couples.

They were living in a little flat above the diner. The diner wasn't far away from King's Cross, so he could walk to home. It was a twenty minute walk. His father gave him this charmed briefcase that never runs out of space, so he was able to fit everything in it.

He walked into the diner. Few people were there, chatting and drinking their drinks. He saw Sally, a pretty, blond waitress who was working there for six years already. She was always friendly and kind, but not just because she was a waitress. Even as a waitress, her politeness was coming of as natural. She wasn't that overly friendly or cheery type of waitress. She was just really nice. Remus even had a crush on her when he was ten. Her face lit up the instant she saw him walking in. She brought the drinks she was carrying to the customers and then walked up to him.
"Remus, my dear, how are you?" she said while hugging him.
"I am pretty good." That was a big lie. Cycles became more painful and terrible that year. And now even his friends knew about it. But he couldn't tell her that. Sally didn't even know about it. And she shouldn't. Five people worrying about it were more than enough. "What about you, Sally?" he asked as she let him go.
"Oh, you know, just working. But I have some exciting news." She said, smiling.
"What?" he said, also excited now. He always considered Sally his friend. He knew he could ask her for anything he needs and that he could always talk to her. But for some reason, he never reached out to her like that. He would rather talk to Sirius or his father about something like that.
"I am pregnant!" she said.
"Oh, my god, congratulations!" he said and hugged her again. "I am so happy for you!"
"Well thank you." She said. "Want me to get you something to eat or drink?"
"I would love some waffles." He said as he sat down.
"Coming right up." She said and walked away in the way a ballerina would.

He did really like this part of his life. He liked helping out in the kitchen or helping out as a waiter when needed. He liked staying up late with dad and other workers. He liked chatting and having meals with Sally. But there was also something that he missed.

He missed his friends. He especially missed Sirius for some reason. They were sending letters to each other all the time, but it wasn't the same. He lived on the other side of London and even if he didn't, his family was kind of locking him up. They hated the fact that he was friends with people like him or James. James was a pureblood, but his family didn't care about that. Okay, James cared about only few things in life. His friends, what would be a good mischief and Lily.
And Remus was a halfblood.

His mother was a muggle, but she left after he got bitten, saying that she wasn't even completely fine with her son being a wizard. And now he was a werewolf, so she bailed. He was five when that happened, but he still didn't remember much of his mom.

So he wasn't seeing Sirius for a whole Summer. He wanted to bring him here. To show him this place, to introduce him to his dad, to spend a day with him here just cleaning, helping out in the kitchen, waiting and dancing to old muggle music from the jukebox. He liked that music. Again, he loved everything about this place. And he wanted to share it with Sirius.

He sent him a photograph of the diner once and got two drawings as a respond. One was of Remus sitting in one of the booths laughing. It seemed like Sirius drew it when he was sitting across the table. But he just imagined it and drew it. Second one was of all four of them sitting at one of the booths. It looked like a photograph. He had many of Sirius's drawings, but that one was one his favorites. He loved Sirius's passion for drawing. Some of his drawings were of their actual situations, but some were just from his imagination. Like those two. Sirius only saw a diner in the photo. He never saw Remus sitting there, but he still drew it. And the four of them were never in that booth together.

Sally brought him waffles with strawberries and syrup on them.
"Here, just how you like them." She said and sat down. "I told Bradley that I am going to wash dishes if he works instead of me for an hour. I just want to catch up with you. So tell me, what is going on at good old Hogwarts?"

Remus was telling her about all the funny things he did with his friends. Sally was telling him about how she moved in with her boyfriend and how she hopes he proposes. He always liked listening about her life. Her life was simple, but filled with happiness.
"I always notice that you talk a lot about this boy Sirius." She pointed out. He was finished with his waffles.
"Of course I do. He is great. He is my best friend." He said. For some reason, he started to feel nervous. He didn't have anything to be nervous about. Then why the hell was he nervous?
"Yes, that's understandable. He is your best friend, after all. You trust him, you laugh with him, he makes you feel safe, you do everything with him…" She said, with unreadable expression on her face.
"Where are you going with this?" he asked, feeling even more nervous.
"Nowhere." She just dropped it. "Just pointing out."

Middle aged man walked toward them.
"My hour as a waitress is over." Bradley said.
"Merlin's beard, it has already been an hour? Look at how time goes by when you chat with someone you missed!" she said as she was leaving the booth.
"Sally, is dad upstairs?" he asked.
"Yes, he is probably in his office." She said.
"Thank you, so much. It's always great to see you." He said as he was taking his briefcase and leaving the booth. She gave him a warm and honest smile.
"You too. See you later." She said and went back to work.
He had to go through kitchen first because in the kitchen there were doors that led to staircase of their flat. All workers greeted him saying that they are glad he is back. He went upstairs to the flat.

The flat was pleasant and small. It was enough for him and his father.
"Dad!" he called. "I am here!"
"Remus! Come here!" he heard his father's voice coming from his office. Remus walked to the office. In there he found his dad. He looked older. Almost too old for his age. His father turned forty that year and now he looked like he was pushing sixty. His face had more wrinkles and his hair was almost completely gray. You could see all the veins on his hand.
"Dad… You look…" he started.
"I know, son. I know." His father interrupted him. "I haven't told you this, but… I am sick."
"Dad, what? I… What is it?" he was startled. He had so many questions.
"They think I was accidentally poisoned." He said, sounding way too calm. "But now I am aging faster. I will die faster."
Remus felt like was about to be awaken from a bad dream. "No, no, no!" he was thinking. "I am going to wake up, get my stuff ready, get on Hogwarts Express, say goodbye to Sirius, James and Peter, come home, catch up with Sally and spend the rest of my day on a walk on a sunny day with dad!"
"Son," his father interrupted him. "say something."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"Because I didn't want of you to worry about me. You already have so many worries." He said.
"You still should have told me. I deserve to know that my father is dying!" he said back, not aware that his voice is rising higher.
"Yes, you do. I am sorry." He said.
"When are you going to..?" he couldn't even say it.
"I still have of couple years." He said. "Healers are not sure how many. They can't find the antidote because they don't know what was I poisoned with."
"And most of those years I am going to spend at Hogwarts." He said. "I will not even be able to say goodbye as I should." He was holding back all the screams, all the tears building up in him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to be listened. He wanted to talk to someone. He wanted someone to hug him. To hold him. And then he realized. He didn't want just someone.
He wanted to be with Sirius.
"Son." His father rose up from his chair and walked up to him. He was still strong enough to walk. "I know that this is hard for you. You think it's not hard for me? I will have to leave you. I will have to leave everything before I plan to. But we can't do anything about it, can we?" Remus looked him in the eyes.
"I don't want to lose you." He whispered.
"I don't want to lose you too." He said back and hugged him. Remus held him tight. Because Merlin knows how long will he still be able to do it.

His thoughts were interrupted. James was walking into the common room. More like striding into the common room. He always admired that about James. Rare number people have that much confidence.
"So how was it like, spending an evening without me? You two must be devastated." James said in his typical James fashion.
"Oh, I don't know about you, Peter, but I almost died without the presence of their highness!" Remus went with it.
"Every minute without him is like a year!" Peter said dramatically. They all chuckled.
"Where is Sirius?" Remus asked. "Weren't you in detention together?"
"Oh, he stayed for a minute or two, Merlin knows why." James said, laying back in his chair, sighing exhaustedly.
Sirius walked into the room. Remus always liked the way he walks. It was elegant, yet carefree. He let his dark hair grow out a little. It was reaching the bottom of his ears now. Remus liked it. He especially liked the way it was moving.
He also couldn't fail to notice that Sirius was looking rather pleased.
"I have good news for you, gentlemen." He said. "I asked McGonagal about how she became an Animagus and she in respond gave me a pass for a restricted section of the library, saying that there are books about it!"
"Wait, does that mean I have to read?" James asked.
"Everything for a buddy, buddy." Sirius said, waving with the pass.
"I already told you that you don't have to do this. It's dangerous and illegal." Remus protested.
"Yeah, you talk like we care about safety or laws." Sirius said. "We are doing this. Whether you like it or not. Cause, none of us are going to let you go through this alone, am I right, gentlemen?"
"Yes!" James and Peter said in unison.
"See," Sirius said, giving him that look. It was a look only Sirius could do. With both mischief and care in it. "It's inevitable, Moony."
"Moony?" he repeated. "You never called me that before."
"Well, I like nicknames and I think this one fits for you." He said. "If you don't like it, I can change it."
"No, no." he said. "I like it." He smiled. Sirius gave him a warm smile back.

And that's how 'Moony' was born.