A/N: Warning, there is going to be sexual content in this chapter. If that's not your thing, read until you get uncomfortable lol.

"So once you entered the house, you encountered the first individual, Mr. Carlos Espinosa?"

"Correct, sir."

"From there?"

"He and I exchanged words regarding payment for a young girl, the suspect informed me that there were girls as young as five on the premises, he also indicated that these girls were for sale as well."

I was up to my ass in the after-action review of the stash house operation.

"How did he come to have stab wounds that could have only come from behind?"

I kept my voice even, "We reached the stairs, and he made to draw his weapon."

"The weapon you later utilized to kill every other cartel member on the property."

I cleared my throat, "Yes, sir. The same weapon."

After we'd cleared the scene and brought in medical, Wesker had hustled me out of the house; I could still see Jill's face; she looked stunned.

"What the hell happened in there, Kelly?"

"Honestly, sir?… After the first guy came at me, I was concerned about the hostages' safety, so I moved forward."

"Without waiting for backup, ignoring protocol, and wiping out everyone with a weapon?" His voice stayed level; he wasn't accusing, merely asking a question.

"Yes, sir. And I'm prepared to face the consequences of my actions."

He gave me that rare, predatory smile."You rescued young girls that would've been tortured mercilessly, and I didn't see one unarmed suspect in there; I'd say you did it right, Kelly. They were all armed, correct? And you identified yourself as a police officer? Only then did they try to engage you?"

He was leading me, and I was so exhausted I allowed myself to be led. "That's…Exactly right, Captain."

"Well then, I'm sure the report will be glowing; in fact, I can guarantee it…"

" Well, I for one, thank you for your valor, Officer Kelly. It was a terrible situation, unfathomable, and you made the best of it and rescued those children from a fate more horrific than anything imaginable by this panel."

The other two members of the Use of Force Board nodded their agreement.

"I believe that we've taken up enough of your time; if there's anything the department or we can do during your suspension, please don't hesitate to reach out."

I stood as they did, "Sirs, Ma'am. Thank you for your time and consideration during this investigation. I will certainly let you know if I find myself in need.

I gave my PBA rep a smile and walked out of the oppressively hot room.

I pulled my tie off as I walked across the courthouse's lobby, trying to get my racing thoughts under control. I'd flashed back to Syria, and I'd killed all those guys on my own like I was trained to do. But the fact that it had been the memories guiding me? That scared me, and I mean really scared me. I felt like a goddamn psychopath…

My mind raged against myself as I headed for my bike, second floor of the parking garage. I threw on my riding jacket and helmet, kicking the engine to life. Any shooting incident required a mandatory suspension of at least three weeks looks like my apartment was gonna be really clean.

A few minutes later, I pulled into the lot, turning off the ignition, and sitting there staring at the pavement for a long minute. I slipped my helmet off and lit a smoke, trying to calm my nerves, my other hand dipped for my phone, turning it back on after the long-ass meeting.

Texts from Jill flooded in.

Are you okay?

Call me.

Where are you?

Done with the Shooting Board yet? I'm really worried about you.

I fired one back with shaking hands, I didn't care what it looked like, or if I looked weak, I needed her.

I'm not okay, Jill, I'm really not.

A message from Chris popped up.

Hey Mike, I hope you're doing okay man, if you need to talk, give me a call, don't care what time it is, I'll bring the beer.

I smiled; what a guy.

Just got this man. Thank you for being a friend; it means a lot, bud. I'll give you a shout tomorrow, gonna try and relax for now.

I lit another smoke, still straddling my bike; over the next few minutes, I got similar texts from Joe and Forrest. It felt good to know they had my back. I stubbed out the smoke and climbed off the bike, exhaustion taking me over as I plodded up the stairs to my door. Jill still hadn't responded; maybe she was out with Charlie. I barely remember stripping my suit off and throwing on a pair of sweats before proning out on my couch; I'd hardly been there a minute before a loud pounding on my door sent me flying to my feet. Whoever was there wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Alright! I'm coming!"

I whipped the door open ready to give the girl scouts hell.

Jill stood there, still in her uniform, she must've just gotten off. She breezed by me without a word.

I shut the door behind her, "Hey, Jill."

"What the fuck was that, Mike?"

"What do you me-"

"I mean you took that whole house down by yourself, I saw your face when Wesker called out to you, you were gone, so I'll ask you one more time, what the fuck was that?"

Anger welled up inside me; what made her think she had the right? "Ease up on the tone, Valentine, I'm hurting here, and this is the last thing I need."

"The last thing YOU need!?" She shouted, "You treat me like I've got leprosy for over a month, snap at me like you did. Then I'm in the van, TERRIFIED for you, all of a sudden we hear shots, no contact from you, not a word. Then we breach and find all those bodies and you looking like a fucking space cadet. And you have the BALLS to talk about what YOU NEED!"

She panted as she ran out of steam, "I was so scared for you, I still am. I thought I knew you, Mike, but if last night showed me anything, it's that I don't have a fucking clue who you really are." She looked me in the eye, a tear sliding down her face. "But God, help me. I want to try and understand."

"Why?" I whispered.

Her face crumpled, a soft sob echoing off the walls as she brought a hand up to cover those perfect lips, "Because I love you… I think I always have."

Now I was shaking, I knew I didn't have the strength to say no, and I didn't want to, not anymore.

She continued when I didn't, couldn't answer. "It really started in the academy, I broke my own rule. I fell for you and hard, those guys who came on to me, did you ever wonder why I shot them all down?"

I had.

"And then there was that night before Charlie and I went out on our first date, I was so scared I was going to lose you, but I'd set the pace, and that was that I was so sure that all I had to do was say something and that would be it. This horrible acheevery time I see you would finally stop. But then you told me you didn't feel the same, and it only got worse. I put it where it belonged and tried, god I tried so hard. But it only got worse, and then last night…"

She slid onto the couch, both hands covering her face as she cried.

What the fuck was I doing? This woman was my best friend, and she loved me; I knew how hard it was for her to open up. But she'd done it for me, showing me a side of her that she didn't show to anybody.

And I'd thrown it back in her face because of some vague idea of nobility, even after she told me it was what she wanted.

It was time for me to be honest, finally. I sat down on the couch next to her, pulling her into a side-hug; she melted into me, small sobs wracking her. When I spoke, my voice was flat; I had to get this out and to do that, I had to stay unemotional.

"I was with SOG for the last four years of my career with CIA. That's what I was doing in Idlib when I saw you for the first time. I hung out with the wrong crowd in high school, some bad shit went down, and I threw myself into the books; by the time I was eighteen, I had graduated with a four-point oh and started college. I already spoke Spanish because of Mom, but I tacked on Arabic as well, I approached a recruiter on campus, and she suggested I apply for an internship. I nailed down a position with the National Clandestine Service, I learned the ropes there, by the time I was twenty, I landed at the Farm. A year and a half later, I graduated as a case officer."

She'd stopped crying and looked up at me with wide eyes.

"From there, I spent six years overseas, working assets in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia, even spent some time in Moscow. When the call went out for Paramilitary Officers, I jumped at the chance; the next four years were all about the fight; I worked in some of the worst places on earth, I killed a lot of people, saved, even more, gathered intel that stopped wars…My last.."

My voice cracked, and I struggled to keep it under control, "My last operation with SOG, we were sent in to help the Kurds liberate a camp and extract a woman who had intel about ISIS acquiring chemical weapons from abroad. By the time we got there, they'd…."

Tears slipped down my face as I stared at the wall; god, the smell would stay with me until I died, "They'd herded all the women and girls, over three-hundred, into a pit, dumped a truck's worth of diesel in there and set it on fire….We managed to get a little boy out before they counterattacked, someone tipped them off, and they chased us across the border into Iraq. My best friend, Ray Daugherty, was killed, along with the little boy we'd tried to save. I took shrapnel to the neck, almost killed me. Connor, the other member of my team, saved my life. I quit a few weeks later, nobody ever said boo, they all understood."

She opened her mouth, but I cut her off, "I'm sorry, Jill, but I need to finish, you need to hear this."

She nodded.

"When I went into that stash house, something happened to me, I wasn't there, I was back in Syria. I barely remember killing these cartel guys, but I remember clearing that complex in Syria. I lost my shit in there. And it scared me, Jill."

Of all the things I expected, her hand sliding through my hair wasn't one of them; the look in her eyes was soft, caring.

Loving.

"Whatever happened in there, you saved all those kids, you definitely need to talk to someone about it. But you're not crazy, Mike, you've just been through it."

I was floored; if I was her, I'd have run for the fucking hills a long time ago, "I-I…What?"

She smirked at me, "What did you think? That you were gonna step off on the kill foot, take out a bunch of child-raping scumbags, and I was gonna give up on you? Were you listening to anything I said?"

She sat up, "I love you, with parts of me I didn't know existed, you've been an amazing friend, and if that's all I get, then I'll be happy with it. I'll never desert you, as sick as it is, no matter what, you'll always have m-mmph?!"

Somewhere I'd cracked, she was perfect, but I really needed her to shut up.

So I kissed her, hard and deep, grabbing handfuls of her uniform, pulling her into me like a man possessed. She spilled into me, tears running down her face, adding a salty tang to the most amazing kiss I'd ever had.

Air became a priority, and we separated, her eyes stayed closed for a moment, before going wide, "Wha-what?" She shivered, violently, before leaping across the couch and kissing me harder than I thought possible, bowling me back into the cushions, straddling me as her tongue probed my lips, demanding entrance, I obliged, she moaned as my tongue wrestled with hers for a long moment, neither of us winning the fight and neither of us really giving a shit.

She pulled back just as I was running out of air, frantically undoing the buttons on her uniform shirt with shaking hands, I reached up, grabbed her collar, and levered in opposite directions, scattering buttons all over the faux-hardwood, she gasped, eyes wide, still shaking—the white undershirt doing little to contain her heaving chest. I popped my hip off the couch, rolling over and pinning her beneath me, recapturing those perfect lips.

"I want you, Jill, I need you," I whispered.

"Oh god, me too!" She moaned, writhing against me.

I sucked her earlobe into my mouth, nibbling softly, "But not here, not on this dirty ass couch."

"Where?" She answered breathily

"Bedroom," I growled, flying off the couch and scooping her up bridal style, little thing that she was, I ran through the apartment, crashing the door to my bedroom. My mind registering the shattering of the frame, I laid Jill on the mattress, stepping back and pulling my shirt over my head as she scrabbled at her belt, I stepped out of my sweats and bent over, kissing her and grabbing her wrists.

"Let me," I whispered as we parted.

She nodded, eyes lidded, and screaming pure sex up at me.

I slowed down, unsnapping her duty belt and the street belt that lay beneath, the button and zipper followed; she watched me work, lifting that cute little ass of hers so I could slide her Crye's down those smooth legs, revealing inch after inch of porcelain skin, her legs seemed to go on for miles.

She took my breath away.

I tossed the garment off the bed where it puddled in a corner, completely forgotten. I stopped, despite myself, she was propped against the headboard in only her white undershirt, her uniform top was fuck knows where. Her chest was heaving, pale skin flushed with the barest shades of pink, her brown hair was tousled, obscuring one perfect blue eye, those pouty lips parted.

I let my eyes trail from the soles of her cute little feet, all the way up her perfect legs, stuttered a bit on the black lace underwear that shone with moisture, before moving up over her stomach to her perfect breasts, swan-like neck…before we finally locked eyes. And her eyes said everything.

Come and get me.

I flashed forward and kissed her like she was the last bit of water in the desert, my heart pounding in my chest as her legs wrapped around my waist, trapping me. She ground herself against my rock hard length, still covered by the thin layer of fabric afforded by my boxers, and moaned into my ear.

I grabbed for the hem of her shirt and jerked it over her head in one smooth motion, her bra clad breasts bouncing softly, she darted forward and captured my lips again, grinding against me again, the damp heat of her drawing a gasp out of me. I broke the kiss and moved lower, nipping at the skin of her neck, collarbone, the top of a breast, her toned stomach, her hip.

I hooked a thumb into the waistband of this barely-there panties and tugged, sliding them down her legs, she kicked them off into the ether, her soft breathing turned into a moan, became a scream as I buried my face between her thighs.

God, she tasted better than I'd dreamed she would.

Her legs wrapped around my head as I licked and sucked her clit, I wanted to take my time, but I was lost.

It took no time at all, 'M-MIKE!" She stuttered out, a scream tearing its way out of her as her thighs clamped around me, her whole body shook as a flood of her sweet juices hit my tongue. I kept going, helping her ride it out, digging my fingers into her thighs, feeling her muscles flex.

Jill Valentine came, screaming bloody murder, all over my face…I could've died right then, and the Devil would've gotten a fruit basket.

Her muscles uncoiled, and she collapsed, breathing hard. The hands that had tugged at my hair relaxed into gentle stroking, sliding down the side of my face, pulling my gaze up to hers.

"Make love to me," She whispered.

I slid up her body without a word, sliding my boxers down and then off. I kissed her softly, her hands sliding between us, those nimble fingers wrapping around my cock and guiding me in.

Contact.

I gasped, and she moaned; she was soaked, barely any resistance greeted me, nothing but a twisting, clenching tightness as I sheathed myself inside her in one thrust.

"Oh!" She moaned, legs wrapping around me, nails digging into my shoulders.

I was in heaven; I stayed like that for a moment, my cheek pressed against hers, the scent of her shampoo filling my senses, leaving my head swimming.

"Ready?" I whispered.

She nodded into my neck, her lips brushing over my skin softly.

I started rolling in and out of her slowly, sweetly. When this moment came, I always imagined it would be hard and fast, full of lust and wild abandon. I should have known better.

I leaned back so I could kiss her, never ceasing my motions, and found her eyes locked on mine, tears rolling down silently, her mouth hanging open, every so often her eyelids fluttered, leaving me with no doubts that she loved this as much as I did.

"Not hurting you am I?"

She shook her head, "No… if you stop, I'll kill you."

I smiled, closing my eyes as she clenched around me, "Fair enough, baby."

I changed my hips' angle, grinding against a spot deep inside of her, and she gasped, rolling her hips up to meet mine. 'Oh god, Mike, please don't stop doing that!"

I felt my limit approaching, but I kept on, just like she wanted, her movements against me becoming frantic. I matched her pace, thrusting into her harder and harder, winding myself up.

Her moans increased in pitch, almost screaming as I almost plowed into her.

"Mike, mmm! Oh god, I'm aahn!… I'm coming!"

I felt my resistance snap like an overwound rubber-band, "Fuck baby, me too! Where?"

"AHH…INSIDE!" She screamed.

I lost all control, filling her up with all of the longing, lust, and love I'd felt for her since the moment we met. She clamped down hard, her nails scrabbling at my back, drawing blood, but I really could not give a single fuck…

No pun intended.

I collapsed on top of her, her legs hooked around my hips, gave me no choice; I moved to get off of her smaller frame, and her legs cinched tighter.

"If you pull out, we're not friends anymore." Came her voice, muffled by my neck, she gently kissed me there, trailing her lips up my jaw, planting soft kisses until she reached my lips.

The kiss was different, no urgency, but a slow-rolling heat that warmed me to my toes. Exhaustion was setting in, and I felt my eyes start to close; I yawned hard enough to crack my jaw.

"Me too," She whispered, adding a yawn of her own, sliding a hand up over my abused shoulders, gently stroking my hair, her nails scratching my scalp, lulling me deeper.

"It's okay, babe, sleep, I promise I'll still be here when you wake up."

I nodded, feeling safer than I had in years, and whispered, with the last of my fading strength, "I love you, Jill."

I heard the tears in her voice when she answered.

"I love you too, Mike."