Chapter 23- Dexsia Greentree
I stand in the shower, letting the water wash off my makeup. I can't believe tomorrow is the start of the Games. The past week has been so dizzyingly busy, it's nice to have a night off. One night to relax before I go in.
I shut the water off, letting the last of it drip off my face onto the floor of the shower. Getting out, a current dries me and detangles my hair automatically, which is much nicer than the towels at home. I look in the mirror and no longer see the beautiful Capitol creation of earlier tonight. I'm just me, Dexsia. After I plait my hair into my typical braid, I look even more me. Blonde hair, my bangs just touching my eyebrows. Brown eyes that are set just a little too far apart. Me.
I wonder how my family is doing tonight, on the eve of the Games. My mother and father will be fine, I know they will; they have confidence in me. But what about Gallus? And even Lucretia, even though I don't like her much. How are they feeling? Right now, I miss them. Maybe not Lucretia. But I miss the rest of them.
I go back into my room, pick out some pajamas and sit on the bed, knees to my chin. I have the lights dimmed, so it gives a contrast to the view out my window. The lights of the Capitol are still on, but above them I can see the dark in the distance. I'm not sure if it makes me feel lonely or not.
How am I feeling about tomorrow? I'm not quite sure, to be honest. A bit nervous, but I have no reason to be. I'll be fine, I'll be the victor. I'm almost relishing the thought of going in. I have allies, so I have no reason to be nervous.
Gallus's face keeps showing up in my head, disapproving and concerned, like he was when we said goodbye.
Where did we go wrong? I remember being a little kid, and Gallus was my best friend. We played together constantly; I told him everything. I guess it started to change when Aulus took me on as his apprentice when I was eight. But not completely! We still were friends.
I guess we just grew apart. I need to get back to see my brother, and maybe fix our relationship. I'll be rich and famous; he and Lucretia can live in luxury with us. I miss my brother, the brother I had as a child. I want to make him proud of me in the next few weeks.
I've got to get to sleep; tomorrow is going to be a long day. The last thing I think of is what is the arena going to look like?
Then I fall into the oblivion of sleep.
Dove Rosestar
Cabel's sitting on my bed with me; neither of us are talking. Just sitting in silence. I look out the window at the Capitol that's still lit up, and I ache to be home.
"I didn't know you could sing like that," Cabel murmurs.
"I don't like to sing for people. I wouldn't have tonight but I couldn't back out. Maybe it got us a few more sponsors," I say.
"The song was familiar; where is it from?"
"Mum sang it to me when I was little. It was the only one I could think of on the spot."
Cabel looks thoughtful. "I remember now; she sang it to me too."
We remember Mum and home for a little bit. I miss her so much.
"Do you think we'll make it home?" I ask quietly.
Cabel breathes out for a long time. "I don't know. I don't know, Dove. Whatever happens, I'm going to protect you, just as I always have."
"Like that time those kids were teasing me outside school and you swooped in and tossed the ringleader?" I say, smiling at the memory. There was a gang of four kids that used to bully lots of younger children after school, just a nasty bunch. One day when I was probably seven, they caught me and were shoving me back and forth while I cried. Cabel appeared out of nowhere, grabbed the biggest boy by the back of his jacket, and threw him, even though he was a kid himself. He beat up the other bullies and sent them running home. Those kids never bothered me again after that, thanks to Cabel.
"See, the people we're going to facing tomorrow are just bigger versions of those bullies," Cabel says. "We're going to send them running."
"After the gong sounds tomorrow, find me, okay?" I say.
"Fabian told me to grab some sort of supplies; it'll keep us alive longer. Run away and I'll catch up to you, okay? I don't want you anywhere near the bloodbath," Cabel says.
"Don't be reckless. Let's just get out and go as far away as we can," I say, grabbing his arm.
"What if we need food or something, or water? Or a weapon?"
"We'll find them later. Just come get me and we'll get away from the Cornucopia. Promise me, Cabel. I don't want us to die in the bloodbath."
"Okay, you win. I'll come get you and we'll run." He looks up at me and yawns. "We should get some sleep, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."
"Night."
Cabel pats me on the leg and moves towards the door. There he pauses, and turns back to me.
"What?" I ask.
"Father would be proud of you," he says simply. Then the door opens and Cabel goes to his room, leaving me to face the darkness alone.
Terra Coppersmith
It's no use. I'm not going to be able to sleep. I throw back the covers, grab a shawl from the wardrobe, and go out into the living room. I need a walk to calm my nerves. I keep thinking about Iry and Deecey at home, and how worried they will be tomorrow. I'm worried too; I could be dead tomorrow.
I startle a little when I see him silhouetted in the window, dark against the light of the Capitol. Looking out, hands around one of his knees, the other stretched out in front of him. The floor squeaks when I step on a certain spot, and his head whips around to see me, wrapped in a shawl and dressed in pajamas.
"Can't sleep either?" he says. I shake my head.
"My head won't clear enough."
Fletcher gestures for me to come closer, and I do, curling up in the shawl by him on the floor, leaning against one of the couches.
"What are you thinking about?" he says quietly. I can't see his face, but my heart keeps skipping a beat anyway.
"My sister and my best friend at home. You?"
"Everything. I'm wondering what they'll throw us into tomorrow."
"I've been wondering about that myself."
We sit in silence for a little bit, Fletcher looking out the window, me looking at him.
"I was going to ask you out back home, before the reapings happened," he says quietly, and it takes me off guard.
"Were you?" I say, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
"Yeah. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to tell you while I had the chance."
"My friend Deecey said she liked you," I blurt out.
"You said before, on the training floor. She was a nice girl too, but I always noticed you."
"Why?"
"You always seemed so nice, and you were pretty, and I don't know. I just liked you. I was getting my nerve up all of last year, but I never did talk to you."
"I'm sorry we're here," I say.
"Me too. Can I ask you something, though?" Fletcher asks, and for once he sounds serious.
"Okay."
"Would you have said yes?"
I pause there, and I think. "I couldn't have done that to Deecey. Her friendship means the world to me, and I couldn't have said yes to you without damaging it."
Fletcher nods. "I like a good friend."
Silence for a few more minutes as we ponder the weight of our words.
"I don't want to be your enemy in the arena," he says finally.
"You couldn't be my enemy anywhere," I say, and I mean it.
"I promise, Terra, I promise that even if we're final two I won't kill you," Fletcher says, and I can see a little of his face, lit by the Capitol lights.
"Back at you," is all I manage.
More silence. "Who do you think is our biggest opponent?" I ask.
"Definitely the big guy from 5. But honestly, could be any of them. They all seem pretty vicious," Fletcher says.
"You had a really good interview tonight," I say, digging my nails into my leg. My hair is falling in my face but I don't bother to push it away.
"I'm glad it's over."
"Were you really nervous? You seemed way too calm for that," I say.
"I'm not a big fan of crowds," is all he says.
More silence; I move to the window next to Fletcher's and look down at the streets. They're full of people still, even at two in the morning. "Don't they ever sleep?" I ask.
"I doubt it. They're too excited to watch us die tomorrow to sleep," Fletcher says. "Maybe we should get some sleep too."
"Maybe. Probably. Almost definitely," I say, and I shift onto my knees, wrapping the thick shawl closer around me.
"Come on, we need our sleep," Fletcher says, finally moving out of the windowsill. He gives me a hand up and we end face to face. He's taller than I am, and I'm all too aware of it tonight.
"Terra?"
"Yeah?"
"Your friend isn't here, is she?"
"Not that I've seen," I say, confused.
"Would it be so bad for me to ask you out right now?" Fletcher says, and his voice betrays a little nervousness in it. Fletcher Wellrock, nervous about me! My heart is singing, but my head tells me it's a terrible idea, which it probably is.
"Think about where we're going," I remind him.
"We don't have that long to live, why not make the best of it?" he says, and he's smiling, and my heart is falling and rising at the same time, and beating at a most irregular pace.
"Maybe you're right," I say, smiling myself, though I'm not sure he can see it.
"Well, Terra, I like you very, very much, no matter what you say," he says.
"I appreciate that," I say, and I go to pull away, to listen to the logic in my head. Fletcher catches my hand.
"I'll find you in the arena; you can't shake me."
"That sounds a little stalkerish," I tease.
"What's wrong with wanting an ally?" he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
"What if I want to go it alone?" I say, allowing him to pull me back in until we're standing closer than we were before.
"Then I'll just make sure you're alright and drop you off all the presents from my sponsors," he says, looking down at me.
"What if I don't want your gifts and decide to spear you instead?" I say, looking up into his face.
"I'll take my chances," Fletcher says, and then he's kissing me, and my whole being is full of butterflies, my heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears, and my head is telling me it's a horrible idea, but I don't care, I don't care. I'm going to take whatever time I get with this boy and I am going to cherish every second of it.
He's the first to pull away, and I can tell he's nervous again. "I hope I didn't overstep," he says, and he sounds just so sweet.
"I don't mind," I say, and I'm smiling ear to ear, my heart is pounding still, and I feel so, so happy. So alive it hurts.
"Mind if I overstep again, then?" he says, and he's smiling too.
"Take as many steps as you like," I say, and this time it's me who reaches up.
When you could be dead tomorrow, you have to savor every bit of life you can get.
Catalina Nightwind
"Cat! Cat!" Lavender screams, trying to shield herself from the boy from 12 who's holding a spear above her, ready to kill her.
"Lavender!" I shriek, running to her, but I don't get anywhere, I'm stuck in place. Then Challah starts to scream farther away in a different direction, then Edel, then my parents, and my bracelet falls to pieces for no reason; I'm trying to pick up the beads when my whole family screams at the same time, and they've all been stabbed. I'm screaming, and I can't do anything but watch them die.
I wake up sobbing. I've been having nightmares all night; I'm so scared about tomorrow! I want to go home! I want my mother and my father and my sisters, and I want everything to go back to the way it was! I'm so scared!
I bury my face in my pillow and cry for ages. My face is going to be puffy in the morning, but I don't care.
Why didn't anyone volunteer for me? Someone who was bigger and older and more talented? Who had a better chance at surviving? Why did they let me go?
The clock on the wall reads four in the morning. I'm so tired, but my terror outweighs my drowsiness. Everything bad that could happen tomorrow keeps running through my head; I feel sick and terrified when I think of getting ready tomorrow and going into the arena. What am I going to do?
I'll need to find Summer tomorrow, that's for sure. Maybe with two of us we can outlast the others. Where are we going? Is it going to be woods or water or someplace really cold? I don't want it to be cold; I chill very easily. I just want to go home.
For the next while I toss and turn while watching the numbers click by on the clock. Finally, around five, I fall asleep again, back into my restless nightmares.
I don't want tomorrow to ever come.