Buck's not sure how it happened. He just knows that one minute Eddie was next to him as they made their way out of the burning building and the next thing he knew Eddie wasn't there.
Buck tries not to dwell too much on that day, it brings to many bad memory's back.
But Buck does remember, he can never forget, seeing Bobby pull Eddie's body out of the house burns up one side of his body screaming in pain.
Buck also remembers when the doctor walked up to him and told him that they did everything they could but Eddie hadn't made it through surgery.
No matter how hard he tries Buck will never forget the heartbreak he felt finding out that he was never going to see his husband again.
He was never going to see Eddie and their kids playing in their living room.
He was never going to see Eddie making them one of his amazing meals in their kitchen.
He was never going to see Eddie kicking ass at his job, like he always did.
Buck remembers that day, he can never forget that day. That day was the worst day of Buck's life and it will forever be the worst day of his life.
No matter how hard Buck tries he can never forget that day.
He will never forget seeing Eddie, laying still in a hospital bed burns up the side of his face, he will never forget the look on the kids face when he had to tell them they were never going to see their dad again.
Christopher took it the hardest.
At only 15 Christopher had already lost so much and losing Eddie seemed to break him.
Hannah broke down in Buck's arms when he told them.
Hannah at 7 was just old enough to understand what was going on.
Abigail and Edward at only 4 didn't really understand what was going on and Buck found them the hardest to tell as they didn't understand why they couldn't see their dad.
Buck looked back at how together Eddie seemed when they first met, at how easy he made being a single dad with job seem.
Not that he was the single dad with kids and a full time job Buck really didn't see how Eddie could do it and he was slowly starting to lose it.
Buck didn't know how he was supposed to keep going without his husband.
He had no clue how he was supposed to keep things going without Eddie.
Buck tried, he tried his hardest.
They were his kids and he was able to look after them by himself.
That all went out the window on what would have been Eddie's birthday five months after he died. Buck broke down and he finally realised that he needed to ask for help.
The whole team were of course more than willing to help their youngest member and they all took turns looking after the kids when Buck had to work extra shifts or over time at work. They were all there in any way they could be.
Buck didn't know how he was supposed to keep going.
Being a dad meant that he had to stay strong.
He doesn't get the chance to break down because he had to be there for his kids.
He had to work harder because they only had one pay check coming in now and he had to find a way to be there for his kids who were all grieving the death of their dad.
The team were all worried about Buck.
They knew with the way he was doing things he would break.
And they all knew they had to be their when he did.
When Buck broke down on Eddie's birthday he was on his own, the kids were at school and he had been given the day off work by Bobby. He had broken down but when the kids got home he acted like he hadn't.
He had gone to the team and told them he needed help when it came to looking after the kids but he hadn't told them about his little break down.
But on his and Eddie's anniversary Buck broke down again and this time he couldn't hide it from the team.
This time the team were all there for him and they let him just cry and get it all out.
They all knew that Buck wouldn't be okay anytime soon but they were all going to be there for him as long as he needed them.
Notes:
I hope you liked this story and I would love to know what you thought in the comments.
I have corrected all the mistakes I could fine but if I missed any that you spotted please let me know so I can fix them.
I take suggestions for stories on tumbler under the username Geekygirl669.
I try and write all the stories suggested and I let you know whether I cant do them and for what reason.
I will also credit you in the notes at the beginning of the story if that's what you want.
so if you have any story's idea's please just let me know."
