The Diego Diaries: Millow (dd7 35)
=0=In a recreational room at the Processor Hospital and Outpatient Center, Autobot City, Primal Colony of Mars, Cybertron and the Empire
Millow stared at him without expression, then turned his gaze back to the street below. It was getting darker and the night lights were on outside, dazzling pools on the streets and glittering views from the towers and store fronts all around them. He didn't respond.
Prime stared at Millow's profile. He had seen him but they had never spoken. Traachon was yet another foe to his Primeship and had resisted as much as the others any reforms that Optimus had tried to make. Until Prime did so by fiat, there was nothing moving toward any kind of relief for a population straining toward explosive revolution and war.
"Millow … it helps to discuss things with another who shares your experience. Lord Micronus came to save you from making the mistake of defying the edict of The Pantheon and Primus regarding the System of Exception. He did not do what He did just to shock or harm you."
It was still and silent.
Prime continued. "Ratchet told me that you were left in a slum and had to fend for yourself. I want you to know that when one is in the Matrix you are never in trouble nor is any harm possible. It is a construct devised by The Powers to be a frame of reference for us, we who are of a lesser vibration and thus, needful of simpler explanations of things."
Millow glanced at him. "So you say."
"I do," Optimus said. "I have been to the Matrix many times, some I remember and those I do not. Those that are faded memories to me involved my death. I have had many of those experiences over time."
Millow stared at him. "Sentinel never did. This I know. He never went to the Matrix. He never had a conversation with The Powers. The Blessings of The One and Primus, of the Matrix never came to us through him."
Optimus nodded. "The Matrix has Its own mind. What It wants Its willing to be patient enough to wait for it. Many were the caretaker Primes. Prima and Guardian were genuine. The others weren't no matter how good their intentions may have been in the beginning. You cannot fool the Matrix."
"I suppose you cannot," Millow replied. "We're all here in this place. All of my family are here. I cannot see my bond. My son is some place. My daughters … I'm unclear what has happened to them. Yet, I'm expected to live here and fit in. I'm supposed to be one of the crowd."
"You are hoped to be happy here, Millow. You are hoped to find your way. The past is that, gone and done with. We only have this moment right now. The past cannot be retrieved and the future never comes. You have to learn to live in the now, this moment here. We are here to help you. We ask that refugees come here to live true to who we are. We know some struggle but we try to be of assistance. You will not allow that," Prime said.
He nodded slightly. "I suppose that is so." He glanced at Prime. "We are of a mind set that is ours. It was our genitors' and theirs. We lived our lives by the rules of our caste. You did yours. All in all, we made our way forward, all of us. Now there are no rules and no past. I don't see a future because I can't see the value of the present. All that I require is imprisoned and I see no future for any of us here."
"Then you must lift your sights higher. Instead of looking backward, look forward. Your family needs you now more than ever," Prime said. It was silent, then he sat back in his chair. "When I became Prime, I gave myself to my people and the job. When the war came, there was nothing but that, defeating the enemy and saving our planet. There were many terrible things happening when Cybertron fell but we made sure that as many as could go were helped to leave.
"It did not matter what their caste was. It was clear at the time that these distinctions did not matter any longer. The Decepticons were killing and enslaving everyone, high or low. War is democratic that way. It spares no one. Millions were helped to flee, hundreds of millions but when the AllSpark was sent away, billions were left behind. No one expected that it would find a wormhole and disappear to this system.
"We were dogged. We helped our people flee, we fought the enemy everywhere and all through that time we chased the AllSpark. It would be the only way that we could revive our home world and save our people. It would be the focal point of our revived resistance. All of that happened, all of it was accomplished though the dark orns were too numerous to count.
"At no point in that long dark night of effort did I ever feel that the life everyone else could and did have would be mine. I feared for my genitors like everyone else. I feared for Cybertron. It was mine and I was not there to take care of it and her people. I was Prime but I could not stay to protect and serve them without the AllSpark. If that dictator ever got hold of it there would be no where in the universe that would be safe.
"We slaved, worked endless vorns across oceans of time, yet the comfort of family, the warmth and love of a bond and children … it was something that I was clear in my spark would never be mine. Yet miracles happen. Here in this sanctuary, a haven built by many hands, such things can happen. I found a bond and I have children. I cannot think of the depths of degradation nor the heights of effort that I would not suffer to ensure their well being and safety.
"They are my core now, my deepest and most abiding love. I labor for them even as I labor for everyone. No one is out of the circle of my concern, high, low or in between. I sometimes cannot recharge thinking of the need that exists for our people in this galaxy. The idea of missing even one individual, no matter what they may have done keeps me awake at night. That includes you and your family."
It was silent, then Millow glanced at him. "You don't have any need of high caste people here. There is no place for them in this society."
"I do not have any need for high caste ideas and behavior but everyone everywhere who is my charge has a place here and everyone everywhere is my charge. All have a place at the table, all of them are valued equally. Former high castes live here and flourish. I am bonded to one and so are many of my friends and colleagues. There is no door closed to the many that is only open to the few. All of the dreams we can dream are welcome here save for the one that makes a few more important than the rest.
"If you wish to see how that works, go to the schools. The children play and work together without a concern for barriers that have no meaning for them. They do not know they are not supposed to be friends. They just are." He sat forward. "I do not have any reason to forgive. I saw my grand genitors work themselves to death. I saw my own genitors break under the strain of a system that did not value them beyond their utility. I could hate but I do not. My genitors and family taught me to look beyond the artificial and the superficial and see the soul beyond that.
"It would be very wrong of you to think that I do not love my genitors and grand genitors with all my spark because I am somehow less than you and such things do not apply. They were the pillars of my life. They taught me all that I hold in value. They were true to their culture and world even when both had no time for them. They taught me every good value that I have and more than anything else … they taught me the value of forgiveness.
"I forgive everyone who ever had a chance to hurt me with their power in The System. I forgive everyone who grew up in that mindset and did not see its destructive power. I forgive everyone who is still confused, that still believes that there is value in a system that condemns billions to a life without hope and possibility. I have no grudge against you or your family. I have a duty to uphold the rules not just of our own people but those rulings that the Pantheon in Their great wisdom have decreed for us."
He sat back, then considered the silent mech staring out at the street. "I do so because there are two paths before me. One is the path of fear. The System defines that path. The other is the path of love. My grand genitors and genitors travelED that path and they always have. Down that road the best future for the people and culture that I have been given in trust lies. I would like you and your family to come with me and everyone else. Come with us to a new understanding of how to live. You will be lighter in spark when you do." He stared at Millow, then stood. "I am here at your call, Millow, day or night. I hope that you understand that."
With that, Optimus Prime walked out of the room.
=0=Outside in the hallway
"Thank you for seeing him," Ratchet said. "I listened. I hope you don't mind. I am trying to analyze the threat of suicide here."
Prime nodded. "I do not have the wisdom to know but it feels probable to me."
Ratchet nodded. "I want you to sign this Primal hold then." He handed a data pad to Prime who affixed his glyph to it.
Ratchet handed it to the night orderly, then he and Prime walked out to the elevator and down to the street. Pausing on the sidewalk to take in the town, Ratchet glanced upward at Prime. "Did I ever tell you that I admire you like my genitors? You don't handle compliments easily but I want you to know that among the half dozen non-family friends I've made in my life, you fill the top ten positions on the list."
Prime grinned. "And I feel the same way for you, old friend." He looked at the stars overhead, then glanced around the city as it began to settle into the routine of evening. "Let us go home." He grinned at Ratchet. "I am told that is where the love is."
Ratchet grinned back. "I heard that story myself."
They walked together to their tower down the street disappearing into the evening crowd.
=0=That night
"Prime is a good mech. I saw that the moment he walked into the Citadel. He never said he knew something when he didn't and he learned. Fast. If the Matrix hadn't picked him we'd be all dead and gone by now," Ironhide said as he stretched out on the berth.
Ratchet walked out of the wash rack. He sat, then lay back. "Optimus is a rare individual. He's Pantheon quality in his spark. I'll do whatever he wants me to do. That he can count on forever."
"You and me both. Good night, Ratchet."
"Good night, Ironhide."
=0=Upstairs in the Penthouse Residence
They sat on a couch in a darkened living room staring at the fireplace which crackled as the fire inside burned and cast a soft glow in the room. It was dark otherwise as they sat together, Prowl enclosed in Prime's arms. Prowl glanced upward. "Do you think Millow will commit suicide?"
"I hope not. He is under a tremendous strain. The hold may do him good. It is my hope," Optimus replied.
Prowl nodded. "You're a good mech, Optimus. The best there is. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you and this family. Just so you know."
Prime grinned. "I never doubted that one minute."
It was silent a moment, then Prowl unsubbed a data pad. "I was just going over a few things about the next game and I have some ideas to help you win. Again."
Optimus would laugh a long, long time.
=0=7-10-19
NOTE: In case you wonder, I work in my sister's hardware store and some of the names come from their products and producers. :D I'm nothing if not about the authenticity.
*cough*
ESL:
fiat: (fee-aht) a formal authorization or proposition; a decree.
synonyms:
decree, edict, order, command, commandment, injunction, proclamation, mandate, dictum, diktat, promulgation, precept