To: Kieran (hellomynamemyoldfriend)
From: Anora (lightlovedbythesun)
Subject: RE: how's life cuz? (cuz i'm missing u)
Date: June 30, 2020 7:15 pm
. . .
Kieran, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to respond to you sooner. Everything's been so crazy these past few months- formals, and plays, and a girl I knew accidentally poisoned herself with acetaminophen…
But anyway, I've been doing fine. My grades are fine too, I guess. Besides what's written on the tests when we get them back, I don't know what my actual grade is. I think it's good? I dunno, I feel like I'm not doing something right. Something has to be wrong with my grades. I've been at Daybreak for six months now and there's no way I should be caught up on all the right material. Is it that easy to fall into a routine? I don't know. I feel bad the more I think about it.
I…
I miss you.
A lot.
And Aunt Dawn too. I miss both of you so much. I want you guys to come visit Daybreak, but I know that traveling makes Aunt Dawn super sick after awhile. The town nearby is a tourist trap (you wouldn't like it very much) but it's very pretty in the spring. I want you to meet Ephemer. You might like him. I think.
Have I told you about him yet? Let me know if I haven't, because I don't want to repeat myself, you know?
He invited me to come with him and some of his friends on summer break. Apparently it's a place that they've visited for years. I don't know if I actually have any summer clothes- I think Skuld (have I told you about Skuld yet too?) is going to take us shopping for summer stuff before we leave. Headmaster Ava has even offered to pay for it. It feels so weird. I don't really know any of them, and yet they're all so kind. I don't deserve it. I'm going to pay them back when I can. I feel bad owing them the very clothes on my back, you know?
But enough about school. How are you and Aunt Dawn doing? I really wish Aunt Dawn didn't have such bad motion sickness. I really want you guys to come visit. It's not that I feel lonely anymore, but I just… I just miss you guys. Is that weird? We haven't talked in years, but I miss you. I miss you so much.
Please answer soon (even when I'm bad at it); Anora.
. . .
To: Anora (lightlovedbythesun)
From: Kieran (hellomynamemyoldfriend)
Subject: RE: RE: how's life cuz? (cuz i'm missing u)
Date: July 1, 2020 9:18 am
. . .
Razzie, seriously, stop apologizing! Ma and I really miss you too. Considering the stuff that happened to Auntie and Unco, and that you're still doing super well it seems, I'm surprised you're still standing! You're the strongest one of us all Razzie, and don't you forget it!
Ma's holding up. She keeps nagging at me to clear out the rose bushes by the front walkway. She wants to clean off all the ivy too. But I think it gives the farmhouse some character. It's not like Granddad ever made the effort to do it either. But of course Ma is concerned that the ivy could upset the ancient cement, or something. I think the ivy just dies off enough before it's actually able to get in any cracks though. Nights get so chilly here, I'm surprised anything in Ma's garden is growing. I'm starting to think that root vegetables can grow anywhere. Doesn't mean I want to eat them any time soon 'course.
Ma on the other hand is keeping busy. With her garden and with doing Ma things. She's been trying to work from home a lot more often too. She's not gonna tell me, but I think she's still scared about what happened to Auntie and Unco. And since Pops is still stationed out at sea… She's nervous. And when Ma's nervous she tends to do a lot more things by hand. (which is why i'm lowkey wishing she'll clear the rose bushes for me before i actually get to it) At least she's not a stress shopper. Small miracles.
And just what kind of summer clothes are you getting? If you're going to go around in a bikini all summer, you better let every guy know that one wrong ogle and I'll be summoned to beat him up to a pulp! See to it that I don't Razzie! Even if we haven't seen each other in awhile, cousins will protect their cousins if they love them, and you're the only one I got so…
That was a joke Razzie. I know you're making that face. Stop it. I said stop. RAZZIE I SWEAR…!
Any way.
I know it's a weird tangent, but do you remember back when you were six, and we came to visit you guys? Ma felt bad the entire time but Pops and I were able to play with you. I think you thought my old man was yours. You walked right up to Pops and told him that he promised to practice roller skating with you that afternoon. Of course Pops didn't promise you that when he last saw you at my graduation. You didn't even speak more than three words to him before then either. But he did it anyway. When Unco came to see what you were doing, you fell flat on your face in surprise. You cried 'course because you were hurt and super surprised.
It was super funny Razzie. It really was.
And then that one time when you came over when you were nine. It was the first time I had ever seen an actual thundersnow. And of course it knocked out the power. And of course you were scared out of your mind because the windows make the worst sounds against high winds. Pops started the fireplace down in the living room. Ma made you real hot chocolate using her tea kettle, some leftover chocolate from Halloween, and condensed milk. I collected every spare pillow and blanket we had to make you a little nest near the fire. I was the only one allowed to stay with you in that blanket nest. You went to sleep soon after. I bet you didn't even know the power came back on an hour after that. You didn't say anything at all that night but we all knew how happy you were.
I don't really have a point to this.
Maybe I just want to let you know that we're still thinking about you. Maybe I'm just rambling through our e-mails. Either way, don't forget to keep us updated from time to time. I can't wait to hear how your summer went.
From your best and only cousin, Kieran.
. . .
To: Kieran (hellomynamemyoldfriend)
From: Anora (lightlovedbythesun)
Subject: RE: RE: RE: how's life cuz? (cuz i'm missing u)
Date: August 1, 2020 12:46 am
. . .
Kieran.
I…
I have a lot to say.
I…
I don't even know where to start.
This summer… This summer was so confusing…
I…
…
…
…
I guess I could start from the beginning.
Yeah.
I think I can start there.
It started back in July. I think it was that first Friday. We had to all get up really early because the trip was going to be super long...