Life and Death

Chapter 5

Joker leaned over the crib, silently growling. "Be. quiet."

The baby giggled and kept his grip around his finger.

"It's because she loves you, Puddin!" Harley exclaimed from her place on the bed in the master bedroom, eating take out food among crinkled sheets.

"Now listen." He put his face closer to the obnoxious thing, again wondering why he let Harley keep it, and ignored the cheerful sounds from them both. He cooed lowly in his throat and pulled his hand away from her grip. "The fun time is over for tonight."

She made some incoherent sound, rolling over on her back. He lowered his voice and stared straight at her round little face as he spoke with his most do-as-I-say-for-your-own-good voice. "Daddy is tired."

Harley giggled and the baby responded with a shrill sound. She reached out for his hand again. "Da!"

He pulled back and grimaced warningly at the harlequin. "Make it stop."

Reluctantly she got off the bed and lifted the baby from the crib, cooing. The noises grew worse and he clenched his teeth. White and black was flashing behind his eyelids, the effects of caffeine and alcohol together with twenty four hours awake was wearing off. Harley fruitlessly tried to calm the kid and his patience was wearing thin.

He slipped out of his shirt and threw it carelessly on the floor, stretching out his sore muscles. Testing out his new golden bayonet on some ex business partners took more effort than he thought, and his shoes were ruined.

"Dada!"

Harley eyes widened, before a wide smile lit up her face. "Did she just speak?" She planted a loud kiss on the baby's head and cooed. "You're such a smart kid, Cupcake! Come on, say Mama!"

"Dadi!"

Joker turned around, staring at the kid in Harley's arms.

"What was that?"

Jaylie squirmed in Harley's grip. She gave her the stuffed black Bat plushie, which the kid then proceeded to stuff into her mouth. "Maybe she don't wanna sleep 'cause she's plotting her future plan for Gotham!"

He felt something close to amusement. "Starting early, just like Daddy, huh?"

Harley nodded enthusiastically, rocking the baby back and forth in her arms. "She's gonna be just like us, Puddin', she wants in on the plan!"

Joker walked over and took the baby from Harley's grip. He stared down at her.

"You're gonna trick that old Bat for me?" He grinned, hoping to scare the child to silence with his teeth. Instead she smiled back at him, like she was happy to see him. How ridiculous, as if seeing him was the highlight of her day. Jaylie sucked on the Bat plushie with a content expression.

"You like that", he purred, a memory washing his irritation away. "You should have seen us when we found that little bird Robin and made him squeak. Rumors say he has a new little hatchling, and I'm gonna break his shell, too. But it wouldn't be any fun to kill the mother bird, don't get too eager now… you have to kill them slowly."

He spoke to her for several minutes, getting lost in his bloody fantasies until he suddenly noticed that the baby had fallen asleep in his arms. He frowned and handed her over to Harley. Finally… silence.

xxxx

Harley fell asleep quickly that night, and he tried to shut everything out. His mind could finally calm down when the teeth-grinding noises had stopped. Harley had assured him the kid wouldn't get in the way, but that was a promise she couldn't keep.

Of course he had noticed that something was happening with her, already those first months before the kid was born. It was annoying, as if her voices weren't enough, competing for her attention. Harley-darley was definitely pushing it.

Some days of her pregnancy she had been sulking like a five-year-old, prompting him to shut her out of the bedroom and office so he could think, or she clung to him like a sex-starved kitten, even more so than usual. She had complained endlessly when she couldn't fit into her tight shorts anymore, he gifted her with new ones and her belly slowly but surely grew.

Some days he would carry her into bed, after a whole day of her following her violent urges back and forth and almost driving him out of his mind, tempting him to strangle her, then she would finally fall asleep somewhere. He would detatch her hands from him and give her the candy she would desperately crave in the morning.

It was so laughably absurd, but he was the Joker, how could he complain?

Harley used to randomly attack his henchmen without warning- now wasn't that amusing - and then asked him for ice-cream covered in their blood. He was more amused than pissed that this behavior didn't stop after the birth.

He didn't care what was actually happening with her, but of course Harley had to show him, early on.

She was sitting on their bed one morning when he got back from the club, among empty candy wrappers littered over the covers. She leaned forward for a kiss, and when he granted her the touch her hands wrapped around his. She wanted him to touch. He knew that her body was his alone, but the idea to touch that tense bump had never occurred to him before.

He laughed at the thought, and then withdrew from her. Blurred memories flashed in his mind, vague and distorted, he couldn't sort them out.

Harley grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly, delighted giggles spilling out of her mouth. There was a soft pressure against his palm. He jerked back.

Her loud squeal was annoying, as if she was telling a joke that only she understood. "The baby is moving, Puddin'!"

He pulled back as if he had been burned.

His fingers ached to squish it sometimes, like an annoying insect growing inside of his Harley. If only she had let him, he would have gotten rid of it himself. No need for a trip to the doc's when he was an expert surgeon, thank you very much.

But then her expression changed. Her eyes were wide and tear-glazed, she was in her head again. With her fingers pressed against her belly, and her mouth open in an almost comedic way, she was caught up.

Maybe she was talking to that new voice, Baby. It made a deep settled feeling surface angrily in him. A temptation to drug her up again to find out, to hear her speak from the depths of her mind and pry her mind apart, find out who was keeping her hostage inside of her own head. Vague empty memories in his head, those thoughts Harleen had erased, spun around wildly and he couldn't catch them.

He looked at Harley, saw nothing but pure wonder in her eyes.

He placed his hand over hers, applying a little pressure, to bring her back to reality. She flinched and looked at him.

Her smile grew wide and she was back. She threw her arms around him, wordlessly embracing him. He pushed her softly down into the bed, chasing the voices of Baby further away.

It took even more time before the thing inside of Harley manifested in his mind. She had been trying to catch his attention, buying a lavish crib and endless mountains of baby stuff. Still, the idea of a kid was laughable, something he couldn't place in his world view. What a joke it all was.

He was lounging on the large couch in their main room, polishing his favorite gun. He half-listened as Harley read from the medical book she had got from her bookstore robbery – C-section procedure. He noticed how her doctor persona seemed to come out while she cheerfully babbled about how to disinfect wounds and separate layers of skin tissue, how to cut the umbilical cord properly.

She was glowing; if it wasn't for her bright white hair and colorful makeup he would think Harleen had taken her place again. It was both annoying, like an itch he needed to scratch, but somehow amusing.

He almost giggled at the thought. Harleen, like a good doctor reading her medical books - with her tight t-shirt over a big belly. Harleen with a cheerful glow and a baby bump. And there she was again, his vicious vixen, childishly excited as she chewed her pink gum and told him where to cut her up.

He had already prepared his best knife.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

He wondered if the thing inside her would resemble him. Or if it would be normal, golden-haired, like her.

What if it was?

"I need a surgeon, Puddin', can ya get me one? With blue and pink clothing?"

"Sure," he drawled, stroking his gun.

"It's only a week left," she giggled. All traces of Harleen were gone as she put the heavy text book aside and leaned forward. Her lipstick had a disgustingly sweet flavor, but she distracted him with a tongue kiss. Her hands slipped over his shoulders and she moved closer.

He was brought out of memory lane by Harley's sleepy voice, as she nuzzled his arm. "Puddin'?"

"Yes, Harls?" he grumbled, one arm encircling her waist and pulling her closer.

"I love ya." Her lips traced his skin and he pulled one leg over hers, pressing her body to his. His mouth traveled across her jawline, a wordless reciprocation. He let sleep overtake him as Harley clung to him, mumbling incoherently about the voices that still lived in her mind.

xxxxxx

Pamela Isley, nowadays more known as Poison Ivy, had kept in touch with Harley Quinn ever since that time when she saved her from one of Falcone's henchmen at a club, the first time they met. Their contact been sporadic over the years, sometimes they had gone long without speaking, sometimes they saw each other more often, and they had grown close despite it all.

She often heard about her, the crazy jester queen and her partner. How could she not, when they flaunted themselves on every GCN news reportage and front page in the newspapers? Ivy had her own schemes, and although she had given Harley the opportunity to join her, she knew it would never be. Harley was smitten with that clown.

Ivy had her plants and she had her revenge plan for her tropical island that was destroyed, her paradise away from the world. That was the reason she came back to Gotham a few years ago and had to take lousy part-time jobs in order to put her plan in motion. She was going to get the head of the Wayne Corporations back.

When Harley disappeared from the surface of the earth two years ago and consequently disappeared from all news, Ivy thought she would never see her again. The times she had spent hanging out with Harley had left an impression she couldn't erase. Harley was special compared to the other meat bags that polluted Gotham and the rest of the world. Ivy did not mingle with clowns, or any other criminals for that matter – she had her plants and that was enough, but Harley was the exception.

So when she went off the radar, Ivy made some investigations, but had no luck finding her. Harley later came back and told her about Belle Reve and her mission, but only a few months later she disappeared again. No, she wasn't back in the Asylum or the maxium security prison this time. Which meant she either had got herself killed, or that clown had done something to her. The Joker remained active on the crime radar this time around, keeping GCN busy. The first time Harley disappeared, he had as well.

Ivy couldn't help the rage that coursed through her when she thought of that damned clown, and if he had done something to hurt Harley, the only one who she could call a friend, she would add him to her list of revenge targets. She would kill him with a poison especially made for him, she promised herself, even if Harley would never forgive her.

After several months, Harley had suddenly contacted her again. She claimed she couldn't leave the house, and the clown didn't want Ivy coming into their headquarters, no way that Ivy was going to accept that invitation anyway. But hearing from her made Ivy's chest tighten up with something undefinable. Harley was alive. She didn't know why she cared so much, that the crazy girl wasn't in a suicide squad anymore, in a prison, but back with him.

xxx

One day the jester queen stood at her door step again, like nothing had happened. As if she hadn't been locked up in a black site prison for a year and after some months out in the open, disappeared again without explanation.

She was all giggles and smiles, dressed up in shorts and a pink hoodie in an obvious but failed attempt to keep a low profile, gun holster visible at her waist. "Hey Red, open the door already!"

Ivy opened the door to her small house, stopping her guarding plant from spitting poison at the intruder. "Harley?"

Something was shoved into Ivy's face. "This is Jaylie," Harley sing-sang and presented the bundle to Ivy.

"What?"

Wrapped like a burrito in her arms, underneath layer after layer of silky blankets, there was a... baby. Harley presented it as if it was the first prize in a contest that only she had won.

After the initial shock and bewilderment had coursed through her body, Ivy took a deep breath through clenched teeth. There was a possibility that this was a kidnapped kid. Or some kind of twisted clown joke, how would she know?

"Harley, is it yours?"

"Yeah! She's mine and Mistah J's!"

That clown. That wildly grinning lunatic by her side.

He must have done that. Infected her. Ivy felt venom pooling in her mouth.

"Look, isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen!" Harley gushed, inviting herself into the house. Ivy shut the door firmly behind her, not caring to look at the sleeping baby.

"Harley... where have you been all this time?"

Harley didn't seem to take notice of her serious expression. She sat down on the couch and bounced excitedly up and down, holding the bundle in her arms. "I had to stay home with Jay, I couldn't bring her to the club! Puddin' didn't want me to leave home the last months, and when she was born I had to look after her! Can't trust those stupid henchmen Puddin' hires. Those guys are good with grenades and guns, not with a baby! I'm a Mommy, Red, can you believe?"

Her face beamed with childish glee. "She's eight months old and she's the smartest little girl in town! She already said her first words! I'm so glad I could visit you! Puddin' didn't mind at first, he's out doing his business. It's been so boring without him there!"

Ivy listened to her squealing voice, pouring herself a wine glass of water and taking a seat across from her.

Apparently some things had not changed, no matter how much she had wished for it. Harley never had a clue about anything, except for how ridiculously in love she was with that clown. For her to be able to keep a baby alive for this long it would take a miracle, or Ivy had seriously underrated her ability to nurture rather than nuke.

"You should see Jay whenever Puddin's around, she can't help but smile at him until she gets a response from her Daddy!" Harley leaned forward and for the first time seemed to realize the state of the living room that Ivy had turned into a botanical greenhouse. Ivy's plants covered the walls, taking up a lot of the visible space in one half of the room, and surrounding the windows.

Harley's eyes rested on one plant with thick, red branches. "What've you been up to, Red?"

Ivy decided to let her in on her project, and told her about the island that had been nuked by Wayne Enterprises for a testing purpose, destroying all botanical life on it, and how she was going to get them back for it. Harley joyfully laughed at her plans for Bruce Wayne, and for a while it felt like old times again, just the two of them spending time like nothing else mattered.

They were only bothered when the baby awoke from its sleep a while later.

"Shh, be a good girl for Mommy," Harley cooed. She stood up. "This is why I can't take her out to the fun just yet! We gotta get back, I bet Puddin' misses us already. He won't be happy if his girls are away too long!"

Ivy glanced at the kid. It seemed so absurd for Harley to even hold one – she was brute strength. Ivy would admit, the baby really would be nothing different from the other small meat bags she had seen, if it wasn't for those eyes. Those eyes betrayed exactly who her father was. Cold grey, surrounded by thick eyelashes, they stared at Ivy.

"Isn't she pretty?" Harley giggled. "Yes you are!" she told the baby, cooing, and placed a noisy kiss on its forehead. The baby didn't make a sound.

"Harley..." Ivy looked at her, letting the seriousness on her face show. "How did he let you have a child?"

The excitement seemed to leave Harley, like a deflated balloon. Something flashed across her eyes for a short moment, and Ivy instinctively reached out to touch her arm. A few moments later she seemed to get herself together again. "Because I wanted to."

xxxx

Barely a month later, Harley showed up unannounced at her house in the early evening. She had been asking and pleading all day on the phone, for Ivy to look after Jaylie because she was celebrating her anniversary with the clown. Ivy didn't care, and had straight out told her so, but Harley didn't give up. Now she was at Ivy's house, dressed up for going out, with a golden dress and her hairs in curls, sparkling makeup and jewelries that were sure to draw attention. The baby was in her arms again, dressed in a sparkling blue onesie.

"Are you kidding me?" Ivy stared disbelievingly at her.

"I trust you, Red!"

"Harley," she protested angrily, "I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like kids."

"I'll only be gone for tonight!" the harlequin begged. Ivy did feel bad for her, knowing she had been locked up with a baby for the past nine months and before it was even born. She did look a bit paler than usual, due to the lack of sunlight, and Ivy had always found it hard to resist her pleading.

She sighed heavily, finding herself defeated in the face of Harley's expression. "For how long?"

Harley squealed and threw her arms around Ivy, hugging her hard while still balancing the baby on her other arm. Ivy felt her sugary sweet perfume surround her in a lovely cloud and she inhaled deeply, resisting the urge to pull Harley closer.

"Thanks, Red! I'll be back to pick her up after midnight! She's been fed and changed, she won't give you any trouble! Just call me if there's any problem, okay?"

"Sure," Ivy grumbled, already regretting her decision. But Harley beamed, jumping around excitedly. "It's been such a long time since I had a date night with Puddin'! I promise I'll come to see you more often from now on!"

After Harley had gone, leaving a bunch of toys and blankets, Ivy left the kid sitting in the living room.

She was lovingly tending to her biggest carnivorous plant, not even looking at the baby, when she heard her giggle.

Raising her eyebrows, Ivy shook her head. "You shouldn't be laughing, with those parents of yours. You have a whole lot of issues coming up, kid."

The baby put a clenched fist in her mouth and suckled at it. Then she laughed again, with a clear, brittle voice.

"What's so funny?"

Jaylie didn't react to her voice or words like a normal baby probably would. Ivy wasn't that familiar with them but this flat-out ignoring was definitely strange. Honestly, what are the odds that she is normal?

It suddenly hit her that the kid seemed to be conversing with herself, hence the little giggle fits. She made no attempt to seek out Ivy's company or make eye contact, instead holding onto a plastic toy car that Harley had brought for her to play with. She stared intently at the toy, seemingly transfixed with it. She pulled clumsily on the hem of the tutu that someone – probably Harley – had put on the miniature car. She acted like Ivy wasn't even in the room.

Ivy decided to leave the kid to her own business for a while. An hour later she saw that she had managed to pull herself into a standing position. Jaylie was supporting her weight and wobbly legs by holding on to a heavy pot that contained Ivy's enormous Venus flytrap, that was closed and content after a recent feeding.

She grabbed hold of the smaller stems of the plant and pulled.

"No, no!" Ivy hissed and rushed over, detaching her hand from the stem. "You've got all of Gotham to terrorize, leave it alone!"

Her light push made the baby lose her balance, and her chubby little body fell back on her bottom. She made no sound at all to voice her complaints, she just stared at Ivy with a visible frown between her eyes. Her little face looked a lot like Harley's, and Ivy felt something clench in her chest again.

She crouched down to the girl's level. "Hey, how about I show you something else to play with?" Ivy inquired softer, hoping the kid wouldn't throw a fit or start crying. She had no idea how to deal with that, she had work to do.

The frown between the baby's eyes deepened.

"Pl-ay! Ewe!" she suddenly said, lowering her head for a second so her bright blonde hair fell into her eyes. Then she looked up and smiled.

An odd feeling rose in Ivy, at seeing the abrupt changes in the kid's mood. After a moment's thought, she rose to her feet and went into her bedroom, that had been turned into a seedbed for her mutant spores and flowers. Out of the seeds she had left, she conjured a flower that she brought back to the living room. She bent down and gave the flower to the kid.

"Here you go."

The baby held the flower in her tiny hands, staring silently. For the duration of the night she remained completely silent, alternating between cradling the flower or examining it. Eventually she fell asleep on the blankets, holding the flower in a tight grip.

xxx

"Where's my little Puddin' Pie?" Harley chirped as she skipped into the room somewhere after midnight and immediately set course on the baby, waking her up from her hard-achieved sleep.

"Mommy's back!" She nuzzled her face with the baby's and a little hand entangled in her hair. She laughed as her daughter pulled on her pink locks. "We gotta hurry, Daddy's waiting for us in the car!" she said as she covered the baby's face with messy kisses. Then she turned to Ivy, embracing her and kissing her cheek. "Thank you a bunch, Red!"

Ivy looked at them both. The clown had bound Harley to him even tighter than before now. But she was smiling ear-to-ear, the same way she did when she lovingly gazed into the madman's face – Ivy shuddered at the thought.

As if the baby made her just as happy as he did.

A ridiculous thought, but she couldn't deny it. The clown's baby made Harley happy.

.

Author's note: To Be Continued. I love to hear your comments and thoughts, they make my day!
If anyone wants to read my take on Ivy's and Harley's first meeting, you can find it in my other story Just Like You, chapter 10. You can expect a bit more of Ivy in the future!
This story has been a bit of a challenge for me to write due to the very special pacing and constant flashbacks (the bad thing with fanfiction is that you cannot change your pacing style halfway without re-writing the whole thing), but from now this story will be more linear. Leave a review, until next time!

Love,

Crystallinee