Author's note: I'm so sorry for the delay! I've just been struggling with some writer's block recently. I love your feedback, it really helps me through!

Life and Death

Chapter 14

"Boss."

The Joker flinched at the low voice. All his muscles tightened as his head flew upwards and he sucked in a breath. There was a familiar throbbing in his head.

After orientating himself in the dimly lit room, he hissed "What?" and tried to move, but found a weight on his chest. Jaylie was sleeping soundly in his lap with her arms still wrapped around him. Frost's tired face greeted him from the doorway to his office. The henchman took in the sight of the half-empty bottles on the desk, the knives and his boss' wounded arm, but said nothing.

"Is she awake?" the Joker growled, curling an arm around Jaylie so he could stand. She looked up in sleepy confusion.

"She just regained consciousness for a few minutes, but then..."

The Joker froze.

Frost froze too, only to a second later find himself slammed against the wall, despite the fact that his boss was still holding onto the girl. The Joker stomped through the rooms of the penthouse, suddenly brimming with energy, banging into the room where his partner rested. After unceremoniously dropping his daughter at the end of the bed, he was at Harley's side, his hands on her shoulders.

"Harley."

She mumbled something, and all his built up tension emanated in him slamming his fist into the wall. A perfectly good scheme had been ruined, chaos had been avoided, and that crazy plant witch was probably torturing Batsy in a special chamber right this moment while he was here. But Harley was alive.

"It's just a concussion," Frost continued warily as his boss' maniac eyes turned to him for an explanation. He resisted the urge to rub his sore neck. "And a few minor injuries. The doctor's been checking up on her several times. She'll heal in a few weeks."

Jaylie crawled to her mother's side and sat next to her head. She stroked her face with concentrated movements.

"Mommy, wake up, wake up, wake up," she whispered.

Harley smiled, slowly, roused from her sleep. She raised her arm to pull her down to her side. "Good mornin', sunshine."

Jaylie traced the tip of her nose with her index finger. With her grey eyes concentrated so intensely on tracing her skin, she was so similar to her father that Harley couldn't help but giggle. She leaned in to nuzzle her daughter's face with her own, breathing deeply of her scent.

The Joker lowered his clenched fist from the wall, slowly.

"Ivy saved you," Jaylie whispered to her mother, as if the two of them were having a secret conversation.

He glared at her.

"Red really likes me," Harley spaced out with a smile on her face as she played with her daughter's hair.

"She likes me more," Jaylie proclaimed smugly.

"She doesn't!"

"She does!"

The Joker raked his hand through his hair. "If you start growing flowers, I'll disown you."

"You said poisonous flowers are funny," Jaylie remarked solemnly.

"I deliver the punch line around here, Pumpkin," he warned her before looking at Harley, his eyes hollow and stern, promising to honor every word he said. "That plant sets her foot here again, and she'll get my new bug repellent."

Harley extended her arm towards him, and despite all his anger, he still took her hand. Her skin along her entire arm was blue and swollen from the accident.

"Turn that frown upside down, Puddin'... "

She blinked, once, twice and and smiled wide. Even then, a thread of want traveled down his spine, igniting something in him. Her bruised and battered state reminded him of their wild schemes and date nights back in the day, many years ago, close encounters with Batman and her wild laugh even if Batsy punched her in the face.

He had been right about her, he always was, she was resilient. He was never more attracted to her than in those moments, he never felt more drawn to her than when she was bloody and torn, ready to bring him down with her for the hell of it.

For a moment he saw the same thing in her eyes, that violent clarity, the desire, that mutual understanding that was like a hellish drug. He could have picked her up in his arms right there and then, pushed her up against the wall without a care in the world.

Harley attempted to sit up in the bed as she pulled him closer by his hand. "C'mere, Puddin'." He followed, leaned over her, mindless of her wounded state when she wrapped both her arms around his neck and kissed him. She was wrapping him around her little finger again and he hated it, but still kissed her back and almost groaned when he felt the warm blood from her split lip. If it wasn't bruised already he would have bitten it just to get her back for all the trouble she caused him. Instead he found himself lapping it up.

Harley's eyes glazed over a moment later. She turned to Jaylie, who was still lying in her bed, studying a surgical knife she had stolen from the doctor. "Remember when we put glue in Frosty's laundry detergent! All his ties, ruined!" Harley snickered at the memory, suddenly completely oblivious of the tension.

Wanting to avoid the situation that could escalate in a million ways any second, Jonny Frost went to prepare some food for Jaylie. He figured it must have been days since she last had something. Her parents didn't seem to have any clue that she needed to eat more often and more easily digested food than them. Jaylie wouldn't ask for food when she was hungry, instead she would absentmindedly chew on some random object. Once in a while when Harley remembered, she would try to cook her something that usually ended up burned or order Frost to get take-out. Harley seemed to mostly live off of snacks, soda and bubble gum.

The Joker on the other hand didn't enjoy the act of eating, and could go days without until he became so irritable and fugitive that Frost had to put food right in front of him. Since that was one of his unofficial duties, he had simply extended it to include the girl as well. Frost had no idea what her preferences was, as she ate anything that was soft enough. She wanted her food to be mushy, resembling baby food.

When Frost returned with pancakes, cut up into small pieces, he noticed that the door to the master bedroom was closed and he knew better than to walk in there.

He went to Jaylie's room, seeing the door slightly ajar. The floor was covered by yet another pedantic circle of items that had been taken apart, but in the dull light he couldn't clearly make out what it was. The girl was curled up in the middle of the circle. In her arms she cradled the t-shirt Harley had worn when she was hit by the car, and the Joker's hammer, and she smiled in her sleep.

.

.

"So you're alive. There isn't much that can kill you off, is it?" Ivy twisted a dying vine around her finger with a frown. The city had started to recover, much thanks to the help of the Wayne family's charity, but the streets were still deemed unsafe after three weeks. It made it a perfect playground for Harley and Jaylie. Harley had grown tired of staying inside watching reruns of I Love Lucy with Jaylie, while her partner, in his annoyance, focused all his time on his underworld business. It was the only part of Gotham that had gone on like usual.

"That's me, Red. Not even a tank truck could finish me off." Harley popped her bubblegum.

Ivy glanced at the vines being removed by workers wearing nuclear suits. All she could do now was watch her creations fade away. "What would have happened if you died, Harley? Or got locked away at a black site again? Do you think he would just continue raising her?"

"Puddin loves Jaylie."

"I know how he is. He wouldn't bother if you weren't around."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," Harley hissed. Then her face got a wicked expression and she smirked. "Oh, I see, Dr. Isley. You have mommy issues. You couldn't have any children of your own, so you project your own suppressed wants on me!"

The other woman glared at her. "Cut it out. Didn't you get your shrink license revoked the moment you eloped with the clown?"

"Says the one who feeds her plants with her past college instructors whom she also used to f-"

"You're the one who had a child with your most deranged patient."

Harley's eyes twinkled mischievously. "You care about me and Jaylie. You do, Red! You do!"

"We have a past, that's all."

"You made her immune."

"Only because I didn't want you and the clown coming after me. Waste of time and energy."

Harley's smile didn't falter. "I'll make you her godmother, Red."

Ivy's eyes narrowed. "You can't treat me like the clown. Offering your affection so you can do whatever you want with it."

"Honeypie," Harley called to her daughter. "Ivy's your godmother now!"

Jaylie looked up from her spot further down the street. Her smile was bright as she skipped over to them and Ivy had learned it belonged to her Lucy persona. Jaylie reached up and kissed Ivy's cheek with a sugar sweet smile. She smelled a bit like Harley's perfume, she always did, but there was something distinctively different about her scent.

She quickly bored of them, however, turning back to the large dog that followed behind her. It was unwashed, with long messy fur and pitch black eyes, looking like a stray. It hovered over her small form with sharp fangs. Jaylie reached out and stroked the large animal's fur. "Come on, Lucifer."

A part of Ivy had been prepared to protect her from the feral dog if proven necessary, a reaction she didn't notice until she saw Harley's knowing grin.

Like mother, like daughter, she thought sourly, manipulating anyone to their side.

Yet Ivy couldn't deny the care she felt for the girl, ever since she first rescued her from Wayne Enterprises. It was an entirely uncomfortable feeling, and for a moment she guessed why the child was still alive, when she already had been exposed to the violence of the underworld. The girl must be good at roping adults into protecting her, it was obvious from her entire person.

Ironically enough, her face looked so innocent, displaying none of her father's brash appearance. Every time Ivy had seen her, Jaylie had worn tutus and sparkly dresses, the way she had seen the meat bags dress their three-year-olds.

"You expect me to take care of her, if anything happened to you?" Ivy said. It was a miracle Harley was still alive after all this, and she couldn't push away the discomfort at the realization that sometime her luck would run out.

She couldn't imagine a world in which the Joker would willingly hand over his only kid to someone else. Jaylie was already living so far away from the rest of society, from normalcy, from the rest of the meat bags.

Harley leaned in, overwhelming her with her strong scent of bubblegum, cheap perfume and the metallic scent that had always surrounded her. She kissed Ivy on her cheek, softly, before giving her a quick peck on the mouth.

"Just don't give her any weed before she's eighteen or somethin'."

Of all the things Harley Quinn lacked in terms of parenting, this was her concern and Ivy rolled her eyes before wrapping her arm around the madlady and squeezing her to her side.

You're insane, but I -

Jaylie hadn't seen their exchange of affection, giggling as the large hound licked her face. "I'm gonna keep you," she declared.

.

As Gotham struggled to recover from the crisis left by Poison Ivy, the Joker leaned back to watch. He wasn't interested in going out and messing up what was left of her failed plan. He had no respect for that kind of bailing behavior, leaving the job half-finished.

Most of all, he wasn't some stand-in criminal to appear in someone else's tracks, no. They would have to believe he had vanished in the heap of poisonous spores, struck down by his enemy, and then he would appear when they least expected it, like the prettiest Jack-in-the-box, and wreck havoc down on them all when they were busy cleaning the mold of their shoes.

Three weeks after the accident, he was lounging on the couch in the living room, lazily watching the news still focused on eco-terrorism. His phone was in his hand, twitching slightly. With Harley out of the underworld game, he was still pissed at her. The news were all about the plant witch. He just wanted to find her and wring her neck a couple of times. Nothing too fatal, or Harley would frown. Batman's new little Robins-in-training on the other hand... they could use a good strangling.

Jaylie had been watching him from the door for several minutes. She approached him silent like a mouse, before climbing up next to him. He gave no indication that her presence was tolerated, but she determinedly leaned closer and put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

He tensed up as she moved closer and kissed his cheek swiftly. When she persisted, he snaked his arm around her waist with one swift movement and she fell on her back next to him on the couch, her landing cushioned. He snickered at her as his attention flickered back to the screen.

Snarling playfully as she got to her hands and feet, she pulled her lips back for a moment to bare her teeth, then attempted to charge at him. The Joker responded with a deeper growl, pinning her down to the couch before she had time to move.

She made no attempt to struggle as a grin flashed across his face. He leaned in close, studying her face.

"You lose."

Her nose scrunched up in a frown, as his interest faded and he released his grip on her.

She mumbled: "I'm sorry, Daddy. Lucy is sorry too."

He raised a hand to dismiss her, and she smiled to herself, satisfied with the accomplished mission. His other hand stopped twitching.

Yet, she didn't skip away to focus on her pedantic circles of Rolex and hardware, still sitting on her knees next to him. He ignored her, but her intense staring amused and annoyed him at once.

"What's the game, Pumpkin?" he said in a tone that wasn't forgiving, still following the movements on the large flat screen. He ground his teeth over how one failed scheme from a weed junkie could cause such an uproar. Not that many people had even died.

A sudden barking made him look up.

"Hey, wait, you fluffy monster!" Harley called as she tried to hold back a large animal from sprinting into the room. It barked obnoxiously, dragging a diamond-studded leash behind.

"What is that?"

Jaylie bounced up and over to the dog that pushed her down and started licking her face, covering her entire form. Harley giggled.

"We found him in the park. We gotta give him a bath, he stinks!"

The Joker looked back and forth between them, grimacing. This was the reason the brat had tried to butter him up.

"Get it out," he ordered, but his partner glared at him in her full Harleen stance. "Jay loves him!"

"He's mine," the girl confirmed from underneath the heap of fur. "He's like a real hyena!" Jaylie came to her feet again and stroked the wild, knotted dark mane of the animal and his pointy ears. "His name is Lucifer. I'm gonna keep him!"

"Yeah, he's so cute," Harley joined in, effectively helping the case.

He groaned and rolled his neck. "I let you have a kid, and now a mutt? What a freak show. The neighbors might think we're crazy."

"We have no neighbors," Harley interjected helpfully. "We shot them all."

"Did we now?"

"Please, Daddy?" Jaylie grinned ferally, producing a small snarl that the dog responded to.

"They're talking to each other!" Harley cooed.

They watched as their daughter got to her feet, took hold of the diamond leash, and led her newest conquest to her room. Frost was called in to arrange dog food.

Harley wrapped her arms around him and the Joker admitted defeat.

Author's Note: Here we have some light happy stuff again, because the second part of this story will be rather dark in some places. There is much to come, as next chapter will begin the time skip, and many characters will return and new ones will appear. Reviews are very much appreciated!