[Finn's School; Finn opens up his locker, but someone pantses him]
Finn: [to someone off-screen] "Really?"
[The other kids laugh at and take photos of his expense; after class; Finn gets out of his desk, but the same kid tied his shoelaces together and he trips]
Finn: [sarcastically] "Oh, real original!"
[The other kids laugh and photograph this, too; at lunch, Finn sits down in his favorite lunch seat only to make a fart noise and find he sat on a whoopee cushion]
Finn: [sarcastically] "That's real mature!"
[The other kids laugh and photograph again; the bell rings and he checks his locker only for a pile of garbage to fall onto him; the kids do what they did before again]
Finn: [opens up a door from the trash; not taking it anymore] "All right! That's it!"
[Lincoln and Clyde are walking home from school]
Mikey: "So, you really confronted that bully?"
Finn: "That's right. I said to meet me at 3:30 in front of my house, and we're gonna settle this."
Mikey: [worried for his friend] "Whoa! You're gonna fight?!"
Finn: "I'm not an animal, Mikey. I'm going to deliver a strongly worded speech...as soon as I write it."
Mikey: [noticing something] "Looks like that bully left you a note of their own."
Finn: "Huh?" [sees a sticky note on his head, pulls it off, and reads it] "Stupid-O"
[There's also a piece of gum in Lincoln's hair]
Mikey: [sniffs the gum] "Ooh! Strawberry flavor!"
Finn: "Better not let my daughters see this, 'cause then they'll want to get involved and make things worse, the way they always do."
Mikey: "I don't know. Maybe they'd be helpful. Your sister Francine gives great advice. She told me to never be myself. I love that woman." [looks lovesick]
Finn: [to the viewers] "Aw, Michael. Sweet, innocent Michael. He has no idea what it's like to have ten meddling sisters."
[Flashback to what looks like Finn being sick; Francine puts a thermometer in his mouth and checks his temperature; Frida comes in with an X-Ray machine and takes his X-rays, leaving him with glowing radiation; Frederica dressed as a doctor with a clown nose and Frankie bandaged him up real tight; Finn muffles and Frederica removes the bandages covering his mouth so he can breathe]
Finn: "Phew."
Fionna: [carrying a bowl of piping hot soup] "Here comes the airplane!" [spills it all over Finn's crotch] "Oopsie."
Finn: [agonized] "AAAHHH! IT BURNS!" [as Fionna walks off screen embarrassed.]
[Frankie and Frederica bandage up his crotch; end flashback]
Finn: [holding up a finger with a bandage wrapped around it] "And that was just a paper cut!"
Mikey: "Well, then, you'd better get that gum out. You wanna look intimidating for that bully."
Finn: "I was born intimidating." [tries to pull it out, but it's too grody to touch for him] "Ew, ew! Gross!"
Mikey: "You know, whip cream will get that gum out."
Finn: "Should I use regular or cream?"
Mikey: "Well, if you use regular, you're gonna have to use cream to get the sugar out."
Finn: "Good point. Thanks, pal."
[Finn goes into his house and looks around to see if any of his daughters are lurking; the coast is clear and he steps in and puts his backpack on the floor; just then, a news broadcast weather board appears next to him with his face in the sun]
FHN 6 LIVE
WEATHER REPORT: CLEAR SKIES
LINGERING BUTT-INS
KEEP UMBRELLA HANDY
Finn: "The National Weather Service reports clear skies with only a 20% chance of meddling sisters. But we advise keeping your umbrella handy."
[Lily is playing with some of her toys and notices Lincoln coming in]
Finn: "Shh..." [steps on a squeaky toy and lifts his foot up with some squeaking aftershocks from said toy]
Flora: "Shh..."
Finn: "Shh..." [sneaks off]
Francine: [from the other room] "Hold it right there!"
[Finn thinks Francine has spotted him, but she's really talking to a friend of hers on her phone]
Francine: "He wore cargo shorts on your date? That is literally the worst thing I have ever heard."
Finn: "Phew." [sneaks into the kitchen and gets to the fridge and looks for the whip cream] "Whip cream, whip cream...where's the whip cream?"
[Frankie comes in humming a tune and Finn hides the gum by sticking his head in one of the crisper drawers]
Frankie: "Hey, bro."
Finn: "Oh, hey, Frankie. What's the haps?"
Frankie: [seeing Lincoln's position] "Rad way to chill out, bro."
Finn: "Right. Totally rad."
Frankie: "Hey, hook me up with some pudding."
Finn: [feels around for a pudding cup and touches a piece of broccoli] "GROSS!" [shakes the broccoli texture off his hand, finds a pudding cup and hands it to Frankie]
Frankie: "Thanks. Stay cool." [leaves]
[Lincoln gets his head out of the crisper drawer with a head of cabbage on the gum and shakes it off; he finds the whip cream jar]
Finn: "Whip cream!" [opens the jar and discovers that it's empty; frustrated] "Ah! Why do people put empty jars back in the fridge?!" [puts it back in despite what he just ranted about] "I need a Plan B."
Francine: [still on the phone] "Socks and sandals? Cut it out!"
Finn: ""Cut it out." That's it!" [sneaks past Lori]
Francine: "Now that is literally the worst thing I have ever heard."
[Finn sneaks into his parents' room and grabs a pair of scissors to cut the gum out with; as he makes his way to the staircase, Frederica is coming down and Finn sticks the gum to the wall to hide it]
Finn: "Hey, Frederica."
Frederica: "Hey, Finn. What do you think of this joke? "If I were you, I'd go for the baboon!""
Finn: [puzzled] "I don't get it."
Frederica: "Oh. Well, that's just the punchline. I still gotta think of the setup." [walks away]
[Finn heads up the stairs and makes it to the door to his room, but his mother calls him]
Gina: [off-screen] "Finn, honey! I need you to take out the trash!"
Finn: "Okay, Mom! Five minutes!"
Gina: "Not five minutes! Now!"
Finn: "I will! Just give me three minutes!"
Verne: "Finn, listen to your mother!"
[Finn groans, sneaks around to avoid his sisters, and takes the trash out; Fionna is coming and he puts the trash lid on the gum to hide it]
Fionna: "Hey, Finn. Is my desk lamp in there? I can't find it anywhere."
Finn: "Nope. Have you tried looking on your desk?"
Fionna: "So smart!" [sees the lid on Finn's head] "What's up with that hat?"
Finn: "Oh, this?" [striking a few poses] "These are all the rage right now. I'm surprised you didn't know."
Fionna: [inspired] "Hmm..."
[Lincoln sneaks back to the door to his room]
Finn: "Phew." [gets ready to open the door, but Frida catches him]
Frida: "Greetings, human. There's Liquidambar Styraciflua in your follicular area."
Finn: "A what in my who now?"
Frida: "You've got gum in your hair."
Finn: "Oh, yes. I'm sure it's just-"
Frida: "I assume that being of average intelligence, you didn't place it there yourself. Therefore, I can only deduce that someone has been picking on you."
Finn: [begging his genius sister] "Frida, please! You can't tell! I don't want everyone getting involved."
Frida: "Don't worry. I do not have enough room in my brain for this kind of tomfoolery." [walks away]
Finn: "Phew." [enters his room]
[Finn takes out the scissors and snips the gum out, but just as he's about to dispose of it,
Fern kicks the door open with every sister there]
Fern: "You're being picked on."
Finn: [irritated] "Frida, I thought you weren't going to say anything."
Frida: "No. What I said was I did not have room in my brain for your secret. Hence, I removed it and transferred it to Fern, whose brain apparently has ample room."
Fern: "Thanks." [beat] "Hey!"
Frankie: "So, you are being picked on."
Finn: [nervous] "Of course not!"
Frederica: [points to the gum] "Then what's that?"
Finn: "That's just my gum." [chews it trying to cover it up but obviously disgusted by it] "Mmm...strawberry flavor. AND HAIR!"
[Finn coughs it out and the girls start demanding him to let them help him]
Finn: [begging them] "Guys! Guys! Please stay out of this! You'll only make it worse!"
Francine: "If by worse you mean better, I agree."
Fauna: "You should go straight to the school principal!"
Francine: "Forget that. You should literally text an embarrassing picture of him to all his friends."
Frederica: "I'm gonna write an insult comedy routine that will leave him in tears!"
Fern: [flips at Finn] "HOO-WAH!" [kicks him] "Basic stealth ninja kick. That's how you're gonna take him down."
[Finn groans and gives us an update on the weather of his life with storm clouds coming in over his face]
DAUGHTERNADO WARNING: CATEGORY 1 BUTTING IN
PRIMARY RISK: Making things worse for me
Damaging childhood
Bad advice
BREAKING NEWS: FIRST ALERT SEVERE SISTWISTER THREAT
Finn: "Well, folks, the National Weather Service has just released a Category 1 Daughternado Watch. We advise boarding up your windows and preparing your emergency supplies."
[Fern suddenly grabs him and has him in a hold]
Fern: "That's the camel clutch. Another good option for ya." [gets off him]
Finn: "Look, I don't need any-"
Frederica: "We'll start with some basic dumb jokes. Like, "You're so dumb you locked yourself inside your car." That kind of thing."
Fauna: "Ooh I know! I'll invite him to a tea party and make him use the chipped cup!" [has a sinister smile with a sinister sting to accompany it] "I'm so evil, sometimes I scare even me."
[Finn notices Fern standing in a strange pose]
Finn: "What are you doing?"
Fern: [pulls Finn's shirt over his face] "SURPRISE MIME ATTACK! I invented that one myself."
Finn: [pulls his shirt back down] "Fern, I'm not going to fight. I-"
Fern: "Ugh! Fine! I'll take care of this myself." [walks off]
Frankie: "You should do this!" [slams a pair of cymbals right in Finn's ears] "His ears'll be ringing for days!"
Frederica: "Ugly jokes are always good, too. Like, "You're so ugly, you have to trick-or-treat over the phone!""
Finn: [his ears still ringing] "WHAT?!"
[Lynn returns with a boy and is carrying him by the seat of his pants]
Fern: "Look! I found him!"
[The girls surround him and are not very happy with him]
Francine: "How dare you bully our son! Only we get to do that."
Finley: [spits the gum right into Finn's hand] "Smoosh your strawberry flavor gum in his hair, Finn!" [sees Finn is too hesitant to do it] "Fine. I'll do it."
Finn: "Wait! Stop! This guy isn't my enemy! Although, thanks to you, he probably will be now."
[The boy growls at him for what he's been put through]
Fern: "Oh." [kicks the boy out] "Why are you still here?"
Finley: "I can't believe I almost wasted perfectly good gum on him." [takes gum back and chews it]
Fern: "I'll go get another boy." [proceeds to do so]
Finn: "No! Fern, stop! IT'S NOT EVEN A BOY!"
[Fern suddenly stops surprised at that fact and the others are perplexed]
Fionna: "Is it a dog?"
Finn: [sighs] "It's a girl..."
[The girls are flabbergasted and gasp to hear the news, but then, all of them except Frida start squealing with delight]
Finn: [perplexed] "What?"
[All the girls except Frida give him a big group hug and suffocate him]
Frida: "Normally, I don't care for inane human emotions, but..." [squeals just as delighted as they did and joins the hug]
Frankie: "Finn! Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?"
Fauna: "She sounds so pretty."
Finn: [suffocating] "What is happening?"
[They all release Finn from their hug]
Francine: "When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing: she likes you~."
[The girls all squeal again and Finn is just dumbfounded at this explanation]
Finn: [Disbelieving] "That's ridiculous! She shoved a pizza down my pants! I was picking pepperoni bits out of my butt for days!"
[The girls swoon over such a flirty prank]
Fionna: "So romantic..."
Francine: "That's a classic."
Finn: "You guys are nuts! She hates me! I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind!"
Francine: "You need to give her a piece of your heart instead."
Finn: [scared] "WHAT?!"
Fionna: "I think he needs to kiss her."
[Flora makes kissy faces in agreement]
Finn: [petrified] "WHAT?!"
Daughters: "KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!"
[At that moment, as the girls continue chanting Lincoln to kiss his bully, they all start forming miniature tornadoes around them and merge together to create the Daughternado; a weather warning pops up with the tornados taking over Finn's space]
DAUGHTERNADO RED ALERT
BREAKING NEWS
S.O.S./TAKE COVER/#AAAHH!
Finn: "This just in from the National Weather Service! The Daughterrnado watch has been upgraded to a Daughternado warning. TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY!"
Daughternado: "KISS HER! KISS HER!" [traps Finn inside] "KISS HER! KISS HER!"
[Finn escapes and runs into the bathroom to seek shelter and picks up his radio]
Finn: "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Mikey, do you copy?"
Mikey: "Roger. I mean, this is Mikey, not Roger. But yeah. Roger, it's Mikey."
Finn: [panicking] "My daughters have lost their minds! They think the bully likes me! They want me to kiss her!"
Mikey: "I don't know. Maybe they're right, Finn."
Finn: "My daughters are never right! All they do is meddle."
Mikey: "They're girls, Finn. They know more about these things than we do. It's a scientific fact."
Finn: "Yeah, but there's no way that-" [suddenly starts considering the possibility] "Wow. Me? You really think she might like me? How would I know?"
Mikey: "There's only one way to find out."
[Finn goes out to confront the Daughternado]
Daughternado: "KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!"
Finn: "Hold it!"
[The Daughternado comes to a stop and the sisters turn back to normal]
Finn: "So am I going to kiss this girl or what?" [smirks]
[The girls sans Frida squeal again]
Frida: "Again..." [squeals again]
3:30
Finn: "It's 3:30. Fauna, lip balm." [Lola applies it] "Finley, breath mint." [Finley puts it in his mouth] "Let's do this." [heads on out to meet the girl of his dreams]
Fern: "Go get her, Romeo."
Francine: "You so got this, little bro."
Fauna: "Aw, our little Finn."
Finley: "All grown up."
[Fauna hands Finley a tissue for her to blow her nose]
Fionna: [wearing the trash lid on her head having believed Finn's lie] "All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Finn's wedding. These are all the rage right now."
[Finn steps outside, marches up to his bully, and gives her a kiss]
Daughters: [sweetly] "Aww..."
[The bully, however, responds to this romantic gesture by punching Finn in the face]
Daughters: [concerned] "Ooh!"
[Finn steps back inside with a black eye and now incredibly furious at his daughters]
Frankie: "Sorry, buddy. Our bad."
Frederica: "Well, at least, you gave it a shot."
Fern: "I'll get some ice for that shiner."
Frida: "X-ray machine, stat."
Francine: "I'm really sorry, Finn."
[The girls all try to apologize to Finn for their meddling, which he is through hearing]
Finn: [infuriated] "QUIET! Every time you guys butt into my life, you make things worse! Well, guess what? Never again! NO! MORE! MEDDLING!" [walks to his room and slams the door in rage as his daughters stand there feeling guilty]
Finn: "I knew it all along. I should never have listened to them. My daughters are always wrong."
[Someone whistles from outside to get Finn's attention]
Finn: "Huh?" [looks out his window on one end as a rock comes flying in through the other end and sees there's a note attached to it and reads it]
"Sorry, Stupid-O. Here's my number. 249-8164 Text me."
Finn: "Sorry, Stupid-O. Here's my number. Text me?" [confused; smiles and looks out the window and gets a steak thrown at his eye; notices it has a note too and reads it] "For your eye. XOXO, Lottie Mae." [smiles hopefully, places steak over his shiner and turns to the viewers] "Okay, maybe just this one time my daughters were right. But don't tell them that!"