"This is perfect."
Caleb had arranged another surprise for Hanna - which, naturally, she had made a huge deal out of again - and they were currently at a little Italian restaurant that they had frequented all the time when they lived here.
"I missed this place. I never came here again after we...broke up," she added awkwardly. Despite the fact that things were better than ever between them now, they both still hated to even mention their breakup.
They had already ordered, and were now trying to entertain their toddler so he didn't make a big scene in the middle of the restaurant. Caleb had one hand face up on the table next to Aidan's high chair, and he had been high-fiving (low-fiving?) it over and over again for a few minutes now, seemingly perfectly content.
"Do you remember that time we came here, towards the end of your sophomore year?" he asked Hanna. He knew that probably wasn't enough detail - this was their favorite restaurant, and they had come here a lot. Her blank stare confirmed his suspicions that she had no idea what he was talking about.
"You showed up an hour late because you got held up at school with some designer?" he continued. "And then you left before we even got our food because Sybil called and demanded you come in?"
"Celeste," Hanna cut in with a smile. She had no idea why Caleb still thought that her boss-at-that-time's name was Sybil.
"Whatever," he shook it off. That woman was irrelevant to him then, and even more irrelevant to him now. "You got home at, like, midnight, and I was fast asleep but you woke me up and we had really great sex to make up for you blowing off our date?"
It sounded vaguely familiar to her, but it also sounded a lot like how most of their plans had ended up towards the end of their relationship.
"I think I kind of remember that..." she trailed off hesitantly. "Why?" She didn't know why he was bringing up that particular ruined night out of all the others.
"Well, I had something pretty special planned for that night."
Caleb checked his watch for what felt like the hundredth time - Hanna was supposed to be here nearly an hour ago.
"I am so sorry I'm late!"
He looked up as he heard his girlfriend's voice.
She gave him a chaste kiss before she took her seat opposite him.
"But you'll never guess who the guest speaker for my Design class was today!" she added excitedly.
"Caleb?" she prodded when he didn't answer.
"Oh, um, who?" he asked. He was so nervous, he could hardly pay attention to what she was saying.
"Rebecca Minkoff!" she exclaimed. "And she stayed to answer questions at the end of class, but there was a huge line to talk to her, of course, so that's why I'm so late. Babe, are you okay?" she asked; he seemed a million miles away.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I, uh, ordered champagne, but I didn't know what you wanted to eat, so I haven't ordered food yet," he informed her, gesturing to the bottle of alcohol that sat on the table.
"Oo, champagne?" she asked, inspecting the expensive bottle. "What's the occasion?"
"No occasion," he answered quickly. "Just...in the mood for champagne."
"Well, okay!" Hanna agreed, never one to turn down a drink. "But how'd you swing it?" she asked curiously.
"Fake I.D.," he admitted. He didn't break it out often - it had been Hanna's idea to get them - but tonight called for something more than sparkling water. Hopefully.
"My rebel boyfriend," she teased, and he laughed stiffly. He was so nervous.
"So your class was good, then?" he asked, but the waitress came back over to take their orders before she could answer.
As soon as she left, Hanna replied, "It was amazing. Seriously, you would not believe how cool Rebecca Minkoff is. She had so much advice for how to break into the industry; she's incredible."
Caleb tried to act casual as they continued to make conversation - Hanna asked about his day at work, she told him about how her internship was going - but inside, his stomach was doing somersaults. He kept checking his pocket to make sure the box was still there; he wasn't really sure where it would have gone, but he just wanted to be sure.
He had had this ring for nearly two years now, and he had finally decided he just wanted to go ahead and ask the love of his life to marry him. He knew they were still young, and he wasn't expecting them to actually get married any time soon - he was fine with a long engagement. But he knew, without a doubt, that he wanted to marry this girl. So why wait? Why not at least put a ring on her finger and let all of those entitled New York rich boys know that this woman was taken? He loved Hanna, more than anything, had been completely and totally in love with her since he was 16, and he was ready to take the next step in their relationship. He just hoped she was, too.
He wanted to wait until dessert - he had already put in an order for Hanna's favorite triple chocolate cake - but the time seemed to be passing agonizingly slowly.
Finally, the waitress was approaching with what looked to be their food, just as Hanna's phone started ringing.
"Shit," she muttered. "It's Celeste, I really have to get this. I'll just be a minute," she assured Caleb, weaving her way through the tables and out the front door.
Caleb couldn't wait for Hanna to come back; he just wanted them to get through dinner and finally get to dessert.
But he could tell that that wasn't what was going to happen as soon as he saw the apologetic look on her face as she returned to the table.
"Babe, I'm so sorry, but I have to go. There's an emergency in the office; Celeste needs me."
"Han," he groaned. She seemed to be doing this more and more often lately.
"I am so sorry," she said again, before she leaned down to whisper in his ear, "But I will get out of there as quickly as I can, and then I'll come home, and I promise I'll make it up to you," she told him, her voice taking on a suggestive tone. Not that he wasn't down for makeup sex, but they were supposed to be having a different kind of sex tonight - celebratory.
He sighed, but before he knew it, she was gone.
He knew her job was important to her, knew how important it was for her to succeed on her own, and it's not like he didn't support her - he supported her one hundred percent. He wouldn't have moved to New York and taken a corporate job that he didn't really want, just so that they could live together in her favorite city and he could pay her tuition and she could just focus on school and not have to worry about paying the bills, if he didn't support her.
But this was getting really old.
"I'll just take the check and a couple of to-go boxes, please," he called out to the waitress as she left a neighboring table.
So much for this being one of the best nights of his life.
"You were gonna propose?" she asked, tears filling her eyes. That could have made everything so much different. If she had just stayed, if she had picked him over her stupid job for once, then maybe they never would have broken up, never would have lost those years together. She liked to think that, even if she had still been as selfish as she was - stupidly prioritizing work over what was really important - that he wouldn't have just walked out that door if they were engaged. They would have had to actually talk things out, right? And then he would have been there when she got back, and they would have worked it out, and they wouldn't have broken up, and they would have gone to Europe together like they planned, and she never would have been engaged to someone else, and he never would have dated Spencer, and they would have gotten married years ago. They wouldn't have had to deal with all of the pain of being apart, and trying (and failing) to move on from each other.
Hanna knew things had ended up exactly the way they were supposed to. She was married to the love of her life, they had the most perfect little boy imaginable who they were both completely and totally obsessed with, and she was happier than she had ever dreamed. But she still regretted those three years they spent apart, still found herself thinking about all of the things they had missed out on during that time - they still had never been to Europe together, they hadn't spent their twenty-first birthdays together, Caleb wasn't even at her college graduation. Even if they lived to be a hundred, she fully believed that no amount of time with Caleb Rivers would ever be enough, as cliché as it sounded. So it still hurt to think about all of the time she sacrificed with him over those long three years without him.
"God, I'm so stupid," she berated herself.
"No, you're not," he argued. "We both messed up a lot during that time, but you are not stupid, Hanna."
"I messed everything up!" she said regretfully.
"You can't take all the blame," he argued. "I messed up a lot of things, too. I was so obsessed with it being the perfect moment, that I didn't realize that you just saying yes would have made any moment at all perfect. I could have proposed earlier that night, but I wanted to wait until dessert, I could have proposed when you came home later that night, but I knew what you would think about getting engaged naked in bed right after...sex," he lowered his voice and covered Aidan's ears, as she wrinkled up her nose, and he knew he had made the right decision not proposing then. He removed his hands from Aidan's ears as Aidan's tiny hands came down onto his, trying to pry his father's off of him - he wanted to know what he was missing out on.
"I could have proposed literally any other day, but, for some reason that even I don't understand, I didn't. And then it was too late, and I lost you."
"You never lost me," she countered immediately. "Without even realizing it, I was waiting for you the whole time. I was still holding out hope that we would end up together. That we would end up right here," she said with a smile, looking around the table at her two boys.
"Mommy?" Aidan said, when he saw his mother looking at him. "Hungry," he finished, making both his parents laugh.
"I'm sure food will be here soon," Caleb assured his son. "Are you excited for your macaroni and cheese?"
"Mac-uh-rooni!" he exclaimed excitedly, banging his fists on the table in anticipation.
"Aidan, no," Hanna scolded gently. "No banging on the table."
He frowned back at her. "Use your manners," she reminded him, stroking his soft hand. All the parenting books she had read cover-to-cover, and all the websites she had stalked, had all emphasized the importance of starting to teach your children manners as early as possible.
She took out a small stuffed animal she kept in the diaper bag for emergencies, and gave it to the little boy to try to distract him as they waited for the food.
Once he was sufficiently preoccupied, she turned her attention back to her husband.
"Wait," she said slowly, realizing something. "You had a ring?" she asked accusingly.
He made a face - he clearly hadn't thought this through fully; he really hadn't wanted to admit this part of the story to her.
"At one point, yes," he answered reluctantly.
"So what happened to it?"
"I...got rid of it," he said carefully.
"But what did you do with it?" she asked suspiciously. His hesitation to answer was making her nervous.
"I pawned it," he finally admitted, shooting her a guilty look. He already knew she wasn't going to react well to this revelation. "In Prague, I think it was. I was running low on cash, and I wasn't ready to leave yet. But hey, I got another couple months of my trip out of that thing," he attempted to make a joke.
"You pawned my engagement ring?" she asked incredulously, loud enough to make people at neighboring tables look over judgmentally.
"It was before we got engaged. And after we broke up," he announced to the onlookers, defending himself. "And I got her a new one later," he assured them. He didn't need these strangers to think he had stolen his girl's engagement ring right off of her finger and sold it for a quick buck.
"I can't believe you pawned my engagement ring!"
"Well, technically, it wasn't yours. I never proposed," he reminded her, not realizing what a stupid thing that was to say until he watched the hurt expression cross her face. "But believe me, Han, as soon as I realized what I did, I regretted it. I just wasn't thinking clearly at the time." He had been so hurt and angry, had resented her for seemingly choosing her job over him, that he didn't even want the ring anymore. But once he had come to his senses, had realized that, despite how it ended, Hanna was the best thing to ever happen to him, he wished he still had the ring. Even if he never got the opportunity to give it to her, at least it would always serve as a reminder of how much of an impact one person had had on his life, how much he loved her, so much so that he had once wanted to spend his entire life with her.
It also would have come in handy years later when all he could afford was a plain silver band for her.
"And trust me when I say that this one is way nicer," he assured her, picking up her left hand in his, and running his finger over the diamond ring he had added on to her set after the fact.
"I do love this one a lot," she agreed with a smile, admiring her rings.
A few hours later, the Rivers family found themselves back at their hotel room. The last hour had been dedicated to Aidan's nighttime routine, starting with his bath time, complete with his favorite rubber duckies that Caleb and Hanna had made sure to bring with them, and ending with story time, in which they had read him his favorite book, The Seven Silly Eaters, before he begged them for "just one more" – three times.
But now he was fast asleep tucked into his Pack 'n Play out in the living area, and they were curled up in bed, Hanna half watching some cheesy movie on the TV and half scrolling through her Instagram, while Caleb went through some emails on his laptop. It was Friday, and he had taken the day off of work so they could make the drive into New York last night and have a long weekend here, but that meant he had a couple of things to catch up on before it could be 100 percent family time for the next two days.
But Hanna desperately wanted this time with her husband, so, when she was all caught up on her Instagram posts, she put her phone down and glanced over at him. He still seemed to be concentrating hard as he reread an email and considered his response.
She sighed as she realized she likely still had a good few minutes before uninterrupted time with her husband.
Her mind wandered as she thought back to the unexpected turn the day had taken. Never in a million years had she expected to run into her ex-fiancé. New York City was home to over 8 million people – what were the chances? She wasn't even going to attempt that math, but she could determine, with complete certainty: not very high.
She found herself thinking about how different things might be right now if she hadn't come back to this very city that day and given him back his ring. She almost wanted to cry just thinking about it. She wouldn't have Aidan, her sweet, determined, adventurous little boy, the most perfect mix of her and Caleb; he seemed to have inherited both of their very best traits: he was so smart, just like his daddy, and sensitive, too. And from her, he had gotten his sass and sense of humor. She seriously thought he was the funniest child she had ever met - not that she was biased or anything.
And she wouldn't have the amazing, loving, dedicated man next to her, either. And she knew she wouldn't be happy. Not really. She would always be smiling, sure, always trying to convince everyone that she was happy and that her life was perfect. But none of it would be real. Because she knew there was no way she could be truly happy without Caleb. Ever since he had entered her life all those years ago, with his sarcastic comebacks, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything attitude, and long hair, topped by a beanie that she most definitely would have found obnoxious on anyone else, but somehow, he seemed to pull off, he had changed her. Completed her.
She hadn't been the same since she met Caleb Rivers. Maybe she depended on him too much. Maybe she should have been concerned by the fact that when she saw him board that bus to Arizona without so much as a goodbye (or so she thought), it felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest, despite only having known him for a few weeks.
Or that when he walked out her bedroom door after she had vowed to tell him the truth, and then chickened out after she learned that –A had run his mom off the road, she had felt like her life was over.
Or that when he got shot, and she thought she had lost him, she had wanted to die, too. She couldn't imagine a world without him, didn't want to.
Or that when he left her for Ravenswood, she had questioned everything: him, herself, the point of life – she hadn't wanted to even go on without the love of her life. Everything had just felt so meaningless without love.
Or that when he packed up everything he owned and embarked on their European adventure, solo, it had felt like her entire world was collapsing around her, like nothing would ever be okay again. Not without him.
Maybe she loved him too much. But she would take that over not enough any day. And besides, she knew that he loved her just as much. Sure, she had doubted it a couple times, like when she believed that he had left her for Miranda. But then when he finally told her the truth, it all made sense. Everything he had done had been to protect her. He was worried about her safety and wellbeing, and couldn't risk exposing her to the horrors of that town, just like she had always worried about him when it came to –A.
As her thoughts broke, she realized she had been unconsciously playing with her rings, twisting the diamond and wedding band around her finger repeatedly. She took a moment to examine her "engagement" ring. That wasn't truly what it was, since Caleb hadn't even officially proposed, had just declared that he wanted to marry her, and then, a few days later, it was happening. They were getting hitched in a courthouse, with plain silver bands, while she was wearing a short patterned dress. But she wouldn't have had it any other way.
She knew that anyone who knew her would be shocked when they heard the story; she was Hanna Marin (now Rivers), former queen bee, homecoming queen, fashion enthusiast. She had "played wedding" with her friends when she was younger in anticipation of the big day. She had even made a wedding scrapbook to save all of her ideas for the most important day of her life. Everyone knew how important a big wedding was to Hanna.
But then she had done all that. With the wrong person. She had gotten the massive engagement ring that weighed her hand down and made everyone that saw it jealous. She had been "planning" (well, not really) an extravagant wedding in the Hamptons. They hadn't actually made it that far in the process, but she knew the day would have included a ridiculously overpriced white dress, an open bar, live music, fresh flowers, expensive dinners, a tiered cake - everything that she had always thought was so important, everything she had always wanted.
But she realized that none of that mattered if you weren't doing it with the right person. No amount of fancy hors d'oeuvres or beautiful centerpieces could make her happy when she was marrying the wrong guy.
So when Caleb surprised her with the most basic, simple wedding bands she had ever seen, it was the easiest decision of her life. She loved Caleb, with everything that she was, and they had already lost so much time; she didn't want to wait one more day. He could have saved the paper cigar bands they had used in the tent and she wouldn't have minded. All she cared about was marrying the man of her dreams, the love of her life, the one person in the world she knew could truly make her happy.
And she was perfectly content with her plain silver band. It let the world know that she was a married woman, and that's all she really cared about. But then, on their one-year anniversary, Caleb had surprised her with the most perfect diamond ring she had ever seen. He had worked with a local jeweler to design it himself (with a little bit of help from her mother and best friends), and she couldn't believe how well he had done. It was smaller than her previous engagement ring, but it was so much more her. It fit her style so much better, reflected her personality so much more, and proved that Caleb knew her better than Jordan ever could.
She had told Caleb it was too much, that it wasn't necessary; she was happy with just her band. Caleb and Lucas's company was still in the startup phase, and they had recently started trying for a baby, and she knew that babies were expensive. It felt selfish to accept such an expensive gift when they could be saving that money for their future.
But Caleb had been planning this since they got married. He felt terrible that he didn't have something better for her the day of, but he was just so ready to marry her, didn't want to wait until they could afford more. And he knew Hanna; he knew that she was telling the truth when she said that she didn't care what rings they used to get married, she just wanted to be married to him. But he also knew that, while she had grown and changed a lot, she was still the same girl he had fallen in love with all those years ago. And the Hanna he knew wanted a diamond. And, more than that, she deserved a diamond. After everything they had been through together, everything she had done for him, he knew he owed her her dream ring.
He had gone a little over budget when he was designing it, but it was completely worth it. She was completely worth it. And when he had gotten down on a knee to give her the "proposal" he knew she had always dreamed of, the one he still regretted not truly giving her, and he had opened the ring box, and she saw the ring for the first time, he knew by the way her eyes lit up, knew by her audible gasp, that it was perfect.
Hanna couldn't help but smile as she looked down at her ring. She loved everything about it; she loved the style, she loved the cut, she loved the clarity, she loved the size, but most of all, she loved what it symbolized. After everything she and Caleb had gone through, all of the time they spent together, and also, all of the painful time they had spent apart, she knew that all she wanted in life was to spend it with him.
She glanced over at him again as she heard him typing, and her eyes immediately went to his own wedding band. They had also upgraded his, and now, instead of the small silver band, he had a much larger platinum one.
"Caleb?" she broke the silence in the room.
"Hm?" he replied, without turning to look at her, and she knew she didn't really have his attention.
"I'm glad it's you," she told him, reaching for his left hand and bringing it to her lips, placing a kiss at the base of his ring finger where the symbol of their love and commitment to each other rested.
He finally looked over at her as he was forced to stop typing, due to only having control of one of his hands.
"Babe, what are you doing?" he laughed, using his thumb to gently stroke her hand that held his. "And what are you talking about?"
"I'm glad it's us," she continued, her right hand moving to cup his cheek as they looked into each other's eyes. "I love our life. I wouldn't want to do this with anybody else." She truly couldn't imagine doing this, any of this - marriage, raising a child, life - without him. He was everything she had ever wanted, and more.
Seeing Jordan today had made her realize just how close she had come to losing the future she had wanted since she was 16. She knew Jordan was a good guy, who had loved her, and would have done everything he could to make her happy. But she knew that just wasn't possible. No one could make her as happy as Caleb did.
She worried that when she walked out that door, when she had chosen her job over him, that she had hurt him one too many times. She knew she hadn't always been the woman he deserved: she had taken him for granted, had pushed him away, had kept secrets from him, hadn't appreciated him like she should have. And she was afraid that she had gone too far this time.
She knew she probably could have found him if she really tried. She was sure he was still in touch with his parents, at least from time to time, and she had great relationships with both of them. She picked up the phone to call one of them probably a hundred times, but then her insecurities had gotten the best of her. What if he didn't want to hear from her? What if he had asked his parents not to tell her where he was?
One night, after the pain became too much to bear - she was slacking in her job, barely passing her classes, not sleeping or eating nearly as much as she should have been - she had bought a plane ticket to Madrid. She was determined to find him. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it - she hadn't exactly been thinking clearly at 3 AM when she decided to hit "Purchase" - but she just knew she had to. She had to see him. She missed him so much, it was practically killing her.
She didn't even know if he was still in Madrid. She seriously had no idea how she was going to find him when all she knew was that he was somewhere on the continent. And she didn't even know that for sure. Maybe she would finally rack up the courage to call one of his parents. Or maybe, fate would be on her side for once, and they would just run into each other, like Chuck and Blair had in Paris.
But as she sat in the terminal at the airport, waiting to board her flight, she realized just how crazy she was being. He probably didn't even want to see her. They hadn't spoken in nearly six months. Maybe he had already moved on. He probably didn't love her anymore, could never love her again after what she had done to him. How much she had hurt him.
So she had walked out of the airport, and took a taxi to the nearest spa. She got her hair done for the first time in months, followed by her nails, and even treated herself to a massage. She deserved it. Then she had taken herself out to dinner, and ordered the largest steak on the menu.
She was going to get her life back. If Caleb didn't love her, anymore - and why would he? - then she had to move on. So she threw herself into school and work, keeping herself so busy that she didn't even have time to think about him.
And then, six months later, while working late at a bar, she had met Jordan. He was sweet, and he was nice to her. And she knew she still wasn't over Caleb, but she also knew she would probably never be completely over him. She loved him too much to let him go. But she had to move on.
Things with Jordan had moved quickly. He accepted that she didn't have a lot of time for him, because he didn't really have a lot for her, either. He was rich and successful, and it seemed like he could give her everything she wanted, while also helping to accelerate her career. So when he proposed after only a year, she had said yes. It hadn't felt quite right, even at the time, but she couldn't seem to find a reason not to.
She hadn't realized at the time just how little she really even knew him, and he her. She had been so caught up in graduation, and her new job, that she hadn't had time to really reflect on what was missing. She just knew she had that nagging feeling that something was, in fact, missing.
As time went by, she thought about Caleb less and less; it just hurt too much. So she hadn't put it together that the way she felt about him, the way she had always felt about him, was exactly what was missing from her current relationship.
But then CeCe, Charlotte, Charles, whoever she/he was, went on trial, and she had to go back to Rosewood. The plan was to get in and out as quickly as possible; she didn't have time for small town life anymore - she was an up-and-coming fashion professional now. But as soon as she saw Caleb for the first time in three years, she knew that wasn't going to happen. He quite literally took her breath away when she opened her hotel room door and caught sight of him. Somehow, he had gotten even more attractive.
Things between them were so uncomfortable, like they were tip-toeing around what they really wanted to say. But, somehow, at the same time, being with him again seemed completely natural and right, too. As soon as he left, she began to question everything. She knew exactly what was missing. She couldn't marry Jordan. Not when she was still completely and totally in love with someone else.
But then Spencer had told Hanna the one thing that could make her want to crawl into a hole and die. She had feelings for him. Her best friend had feelings for the guy that she loved more than anything. The guy she had lost her virginity to. The guy who had paid for their move to New York, and paid her tuition, the guy that was the only reason she even had a career in the first place, the same career that had made her push him away. Her first love. Her only love.
She didn't deserve him.
But maybe Spencer did. And she had Jordan anyway. They were engaged. They were getting married. She was supposed to be happy with him. Everyone thought she was. So how could she explain to Spencer that she wasn't allowed to be with Caleb, because she still wanted to be with him?
It had taken everything in her to say the words out loud, to give Spencer permission to go after Caleb. Even now, she still felt betrayed that Spencer could have ever gone there. She wasn't surprised that Spencer could fall for Caleb - he was absolutely incredible, why wouldn't she? She just couldn't believe that she had let herself fall for him. Spencer knew how much Caleb meant to her, knew how much they love(d?) each other. She saw how heartbroken Hanna was any time things weren't going well between them, saw how happy Hanna was any time something good happened for them.
And that was why their friendship had been strained ever since. She knew that they had been through way too much together over the years to let a guy - even if that guy was the love of her life, and now her husband and the father of her child - ruin their friendship. So she definitely still considered Spencer one of her best friends, and she truly was so happy for Spencer when she and Toby eloped. But she just found herself not making as much of a point to keep in touch with Spencer as she did the other girls, even Mona. Deep down, as much as she wished she didn't, she still held a grudge against her. She would never have even considered doing that to any of her friends. She couldn't imagine going after someone who meant so much to someone who was so important to her.
She knew she had given Spencer permission, but it was only because she didn't feel as though she had any other choice. Spencer had backed her into a corner, had put her into a position she never should have in the first place. Hanna knew that somehow she would come out looking like the bad guy if she told Spencer no.
So she didn't. She told her it was fine, told her she had moved on and was happy with Jordan. Everyone else seemed to know that it was a lie. Emily and Aria, her mother, even Alison and Lucas. They could all see how much pain it was causing Hanna to watch the love of her life with one of her best friends. But, for some reason, Spencer couldn't. Or maybe she just didn't want to.
So she had attempted to do as she said she was going to: move on. She tried to go ahead in planning her wedding, but she just couldn't. Ever since she had seen Caleb again, she knew she didn't want to marry Jordan. She tried to be okay with Caleb and Spencer, but every time she saw them together, it felt like a knife through the heart. But they seemed happy. And all she wanted was for Caleb to be happy. She loved him that much, and she knew he deserved that much.
But then they had their moment in the motel room, and she felt closer to him than she had in years. Kissing him again felt so right. It was them. Always them. They were always supposed to end up together.
But then, after the shock of being kidnapped had worn off, after she had seen all of her friends again, had seen him again, she had realized what she had done. She had kissed her best friend's boyfriend. As much as Spencer had hurt her, she hadn't been trying to hurt her back. So she pushed Caleb away, made him think it was a mistake. But that still didn't mean she could go through with marrying Jordan. So she called off the engagement, but kept it a secret; she didn't want to make Spencer uncomfortable, thinking that it was because of Caleb (although, that was exactly why she had done it).
And then as soon as she heard that Caleb had broken things off with Spencer, she knew. She knew that he still felt it, too, and, just like her, was trying to bury his feelings and avoid the truth. But she was going to get him back. And she wasn't going to screw it up this time.
She was completely confident that calling off her engagement was one of the best decisions she had ever made, and she wanted to make sure Caleb knew she felt that way, which is why she suddenly felt the need to remind him.
She watched as a wide grin spread across his lips, lighting up his whole face.
"Me, neither," he said honestly. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her.
"I love you, too," she murmured against his lips. Caleb was truly the best friend, the best partner, the best husband, the best father she could have ever dreamed of. And she still had no idea how she had gotten so lucky.
"Can you put this thing away now?" she begged as they pulled apart, attempting to close his laptop.
"Han, I'll be, like, three more minutes, I promise," he assured her.
"We're on vacation, you're not supposed to be working," she whined.
"I know, babe, but I lost an entire work day today, so I just need to take care of a few emails and then it'll be just the three of us the next two days. No work," he promised.
He felt bad about having to do work. All he wanted was to spend time with his wife now that their son was asleep, but his and Lucas's company was growing and expanding rapidly, and the size of their staff hadn't yet caught up to their demand, so if he didn't take care of things as they came, they would very quickly fall behind.
He was reading through the last unread email in his inbox when he felt Hanna's lips connect with his neck.
"Babe," he groaned as she sucked on his pulse point.
It was more than a little distracting, but it's not like he didn't enjoy it, so he let her continue as he attempted to finish the email.
But then he felt her move to place a trail of kisses along his jawline, as she ran her hand up his bare torso and across his chest.
"Han, please, this is my last email, and then I'm all yours," he pleaded with her. The more she distracted him, the longer it would take him to finish this, and the longer it would be before he could fully give her all of his attention.
She groaned but pulled away anyway, sitting back in bed to let him finish.
"Shit," he muttered a couple minutes later, shaking his head, as he reached the end of the email, taking his computer from his lap and setting it on the nightstand.
"Are you done?" Hanna asked excitedly.
"Babe, I am so sorry, but I'll be five more minutes."
"Caleb!" she groaned. All she wanted was to spend time with her husband.
"I know!" he agreed. He wanted to be working right now even less than she wanted him to be. "But this major client we just got emailed me that they never received the contract. If I don't get it to them right away, we could lose them. And that would be really bad for us." This new client would nearly double their revenues, so they couldn't afford to lose them. "I have to call Lucas. I'll be right back."
"Well, hurry!" she cried as he grabbed his phone and went out into the hallway. She knew she couldn't actually be mad at him for working so hard; he was just trying to provide for her and Aidan, but it still sucked that this was happening on their weekend away.
She went to check on Aidan, stroking his baby soft cheek gently, gazing down at the tiny human who she loved so much, listening to his steady breathing as he slept soundly.
Then she remembered what she had brought to make this weekend extra special for her and Caleb. So she went into the bathroom to get ready, hoping he would be back by the time she came out. He wasn't.
So she went out to the hallway to find him, grabbing a room key and the baby monitor on her way out, latching the door closed behind her.
She spotted him about halfway down the corridor, his iPhone held up in front of him as he FaceTimed with his business partner.
She snuck up behind him as best she could (although, he probably saw her coming through the front-facing camera), wrapping her arms around his midsection and pressing a kiss against his bare shoulder.
"You're taking too long," she murmured against his skin as the hand that wasn't holding his phone moved to wrap around her.
"We're almost done," he promised as he turned his head to kiss her cheek. "Did you leave Aidan alone?" he asked worriedly.
"Babe," she said patiently. She thought it was adorable how much her husband loved and worried about their son. "He'll be fine. He's, like, three doors down. And I brought this," she assured him, holding up the small device she had in her hand.
"Okay," he agreed, but she could still see the worried frown on his forehead.
"Hi, Lucas!" she called out from behind Caleb, still completely wrapped around him, standing on her tiptoes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. "Can I have my husband back now?"
"Hi, Hanna," Lucas replied. "Yeah, we're finishing up," he confirmed to her before speaking to Caleb again. "I don't know what happened, but I'll go send it off right now, and maybe they'll see it tomorrow if someone comes in on Saturdays, or, at the very least, they'll have it first thing Monday morning."
Caleb watched the screen as Lucas stood up and began to walk.
"Are you still at the office?" Caleb asked in disbelief as he took in the familiar surroundings of their company "headquarters."
"Maybe," Lucas replied guiltily.
"Come on, really?" Caleb said, at the same time Hanna exclaimed, "Lucas!"
"It's a Friday night, Lucas, you're not supposed to be in the office!" Hanna chastised. "And please tell me you're not going home and watching 'Goonies' or something!"
"I'm probably just gonna go home and go to bed," Lucas argued. "It's been a long day."
"No!" Hanna objected. "You are not allowed to go to bed at 9:00 on a Friday night. You know who's in bed?" she asked rhetorically. "Our two year-old is in bed! And he doesn't even want to be there!" It was always a struggle to get Aidan to fall asleep; it's like he knew that after his night ended, his parents' continued on, and he didn't want to miss out on any of the excitement. But once he was asleep, he slept all the way through the night, so she couldn't complain too much. "Go to a bar or something."
"Yeah, you really need to go get laid," Caleb chimed in. He felt sorry for his friend; even now that he was successful, he was still shy and awkward, and hadn't had much luck in the relationship department.
"That's what Caleb's gonna be doing tonight," Hanna pointed out, resting her cheek against his shoulder and closing her eyes.
"Subtle, Han," Caleb chuckled as she shook his head at his wife. Sometimes he still worried that Lucas might not be over his crush on Hanna, and that made him slightly uncomfortable. He knew that there wasn't even a chance that Hanna felt the same way about him - she just thought of him as the sweet, dorky, awkward, brother type - but he still felt bad rubbing it in Lucas's face that he had gotten the girl that his best friend might possibly still be pining over.
"That's my way of trying to hurry this conversation along," Hanna added, finally unwrapping herself from around Caleb for the first time so she could use her hands to make a "shoo" gesture at the camera, which was made slightly more difficult by the baby monitor in her hand. "So, if you don't mind, Lucas, I am going to be taking my husband to bed now, but trust me when I say, we are not going to be sleeping anytime soon, and you're not allowed to, either! Go to a bar, find a cute girl, and see where things go from there," she encouraged.
"Alright, Han, I think he gets it," Caleb said gently, rolling his eyes. "Goodnight, Lucas. And please don't forget to send the contract! Thank you!" he rushed out before he ended the call, eager to get back to alone time with his wife.
He wrapped his arm around her as they began to make their way back down the hallway to their own room.
"So you're all mine now?" she asked eagerly.
"I'm all yours, baby," he confirmed, letting go of her as she unlocked the door.
They made a stop at Aidan's Pack 'n Play so that Caleb could check on his son, could see for himself that five minutes alone in a hotel room hadn't done any harm to their precious baby boy.
Hanna felt her heart flutter as she watched her husband watching their son. He was so gentle with him, like the way he was carefully smoothing down some strands of his chestnut hair right now.
Caleb becoming a father had somehow made him even more attractive to Hanna, which she hadn't thought was even possible. She loved the way he looked at him, loved the way he never turned down an opportunity to play trains or trucks or build block towers with him. She was secretly hoping their next child was a girl; she knew Caleb would be more than happy to play "dollies" and go to tea parties if that's what his little girl wanted. She loved the way he was always willing to read Aidan's favorite books to him - was it weird that hearing her husband do the voices of their son's favorite characters turned her on?
She had heard that having children messed with a woman's sex drive, but, if anything, it had made hers more intense than ever. Seeing how much he loved their little boy made her love him even more, had made her want him even more.
"Come on," she murmured, tugging on his arm gently to encourage him to follow her back to the bedroom. "I have a surprise for you."
"Han-" he started, sighing. They had just talked about this earlier today: he hated surprises.
"Trust me," she cut him off confidently. "You'll like this one. Lay down," she encouraged as they reached the king sized bed.
He followed orders, intrigued about her surprise - he had a general idea of what it must involve, but wasn't sure exactly what it was.
He watched her carefully as she climbed on top of him, straddling him.
She leaned down to connect their lips in a deep kiss before she pulled back, reaching her arms above her head to remove the T-shirt of his that she had put on to conceal her surprise.
She heard him inhale deeply, saw his eyes darken with lust as he took in the sight of the lingerie she had bought special for this trip: a cherry red corset top that made her boobs look incredible, if she did say so herself, and matching red lace panties and garter belt.
"Jesus Christ, Hanna," he breathed out. He thought she looked incredible. Well, he always thought she looked incredible. But this was extra special. He loved her in red, she knew that. Knew it was his favorite color on her. Knew that he loved the way a good cherry red contrasted with her tanned skin and blonde hair.
"So...is this surprise okay, then?" she asked, biting her lip, already knowing perfectly well what his answer was going to be.
"This is the only kind of surprise I like," he confirmed.
"That's what I thought," she said with a cheeky grin, resting her hands on her husband's bare chest as she leaned in and kissed his neck.
"But, it is kind of a waste, don't you think?" he added.
"Excuse me?" she replied indignantly, sitting back up again. Did he not see how hot she looked in this lingerie set? And he better appreciate it, because it was not easy to put on, and not particularly comfortable, either.
He sat up a little so he could whisper in her ear, "Well, I don't plan on letting you wear it for very long," before he suddenly rolled them over so he was on top, just the way he liked it.
"Wanna make a baby?" he asked her with a little smile, before he was leaving a trail of wet kisses along her jawline.
She bit her lip again as she thought about the last time he had asked her that question, which had ultimately led to their perfect little boy who was currently asleep in the next room over.
"Well I think we did a pretty great job on the last one, so why not?" she agreed with a grin.
"We should probably go check on that one," he suddenly said, a worried look across his face.
"Caleb!" she exclaimed, exasperated. She loved how protective he was of their son, but they had just seen him about five minutes ago. And she just really wanted to make love to her husband now, finally.
"Kidding," he laughed, smirking down at her. As attentive as he was to his son, even he knew it wasn't necessary to check on him again already.
"You are a real pain in the ass," she informed him, rolling her eyes, as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down so she could finally kiss him again.
"So are you," he retorted between kisses.
"I love you," she murmured against his lips.
"I love you, too."
I hope you enjoyed!
Housekeeping: As much as I know I shouldn't be greedy and should just be happy that she did break up with him, I feel like we got gypped. I really wanted to see Hanna telling Jordan that she was still in love with Caleb, and that's why she didn't want to be with him. Although, I like to think he knew it anyway. I feel like Hanna talked about Caleb all the time. When he and Caleb meet, he literally says, "The famous Caleb Rivers." So I feel like he knew all along that Hanna wasn't over Caleb. But anyway, me wanting him to find out she's still in love with Caleb is where that aspect of this oneshot came from.
Other housekeeping: I don't know NYC. Like, at all. I've been a few times, but just to the touristy parts. I would never ever want to live there, it stresses me out. That's why I probably do a really terrible job of describing their visit. Sorry!
The Table: Ah, The Table. We all know they definitely fucked on that table, right? Well, here's my take on why that table is so special! (Not sure why the show teased us with it and never actually gave us anything, but add it to my long list of reasons not to like Marlene & Co., I guess!) We don't really get a good look at it in the show, but it doesn't look like that great of a table. Definitely not Restoration Hardware, LOL. But this is how I wanted to tell the story, so for the sake of this Fic, it's an RH table!
The dates on the bracelet: I stopped watching after 6A and only watched the Haleb scenes, so I'm pretty confused on the timeline. I know it initially jumped forward five years, and then there was another 1 year time jump either before or during 7.20? Something like that? But I'm not really sure how much time was supposed to have passed during 6B and 7, so I tried to make a rough estimation based on my knowledge of when Haleb's wedding and Aidan's birth would have been. But if you have a better idea on the actual dates, let me know and I'll literally change it, haha.
The almost-proposal: I find it hard to believe that the idea of proposing to Hanna never even crossed Caleb's mind. Honestly, I'm surprised he hadn't done it yet by their breakup. So I wanted to add it in here that in my version of the canon (the canon that I don't even want or like, LOL), he tried to propose.
I don't know what Jordan's job is. I think on the show they said something about advertising at a magazine. And I don't think they ever said this on the show but outside the show the writers have said that he works in fashion which is why he and Hanna "worked so well together" (LMAO. I think not), so he must work at a fashion magazine? Dunno, I don't like the guy, so I really don't give a shit what his job is. But for the sake of this Fic, he works at Vogue.
I know we got kind of angsty at times, diving into their breakups and time apart. (This story kind of took a turn that I wasn't expecting, and I just ran with it.) That was my way of trying to justify and make sense of the complete disaster that the show turned into. I will NEVER EVER EVER be okay with Hanna being engaged (as you will read more about below) or Caleb dating Spencer, but that doesn't mean I can't try to make it a little less painful for myself and for you! So did I totally rip apart Caleb and Spencer's relationship in this and describe it as meaning absolutely nothing to Caleb? Why, yes, yes I did. I truly believe this. He missed Hanna. He thought Hanna was happy with someone else. So he tried to move on, too. But I think we can all agree that Hanna is Caleb's entire world and he only has eyes for her and he would never really be interested in someone else, let alone one of her best friends. I also have a problem with the writers trying to act like Hanna and Spencer's friendship just went back to normal. HANNA WAS NOT, AND SHOULD NOT, BE OKAY WITH HER BEST FRIEND DATING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE. And I really hate that the show just tried to gloss over it, like it's not big deal. If I knew that my best friend had had sex with my husband, I think that would change things between us. The writers always claimed the story wasn't about the ships, it was more about the friendships, but if that were true, then they wouldn't have fucked up some of the best friendships on the show by creating a love triangle that literally NOBODY wanted in the first place. Spencer and Hanna's friendship, to me, is ruined. (And I kind of tried to address that in this story.) And don't even get me STARTED on Caleb and Spencer's friendship.
Alright, rant time (because if you've read any of my Fics before, you probably know it wouldn't be a HalebShipper fic without a rant.) So if you don't want to read my rant, feel free to peace out now. BUT I think I make a lot of good points, and if you're a big Haleb shipper, I think you'll appreciate/agree with what I have to say:
It still makes my blood boil that Hanna was engaged after the time jump. It seriously just makes no sense to me. And this isn't even going to address how ridiculous I think Haleb's breakup was and all the issues I have with it (Caleb promising Hanna multiple times he would never leave her, Hanna telling Caleb she "would fight for him" and she didn't come this far not to have a happy ending, the fact that Hanna could have easily found Caleb/gotten in touch with him after he left their apartment if she put in even an ounce of effort, everything they went through between cyber-stalkers, prison sentences, ghosts, fated soulmate doppelgangers, and yet we're supposed to believe that conflicting schedules is that tore them apart?) But that's a whole 'nother argument for a whole 'nother day. This is just about how unlikely it is that Hanna would be engaged.
Let's assume they were 18 when they went off to college. So five years later, they would be 23. The show implies that Caleb and Hanna broke up three years prior, so age 20. And in the show, they make multiple references to Hanna having been engaged for a year already, so that means she got engaged at the age of 22. THAT IS SO YOUNG. I Googled it, and in 2017, the average age women get married at is 27.4. So that is seriously SO YOUNG for ANYONE to be getting married, LET ALONE someone who is supposed to be focusing on their career AND who doesn't even really love the person they're marrying! (Coming from a roughly 21 and half year old, whose only goal in life is to get married and be a mom and have a family, and couldn't care less about having a career, but literally JUST wants to be a stay-at-home mom, even I have no desire to get engaged or married anytime soon. So explain to me why Hanna, who said herself that she wanted to focus on her career, is suddenly so desperate - AT 22! - to settle down, that she's even willing to sacrifice love. OUT. OF. CHARACTER.)
For Hanna to sacrifice her relationship with Caleb, she must have been LASER FOCUSED on her career. There is no way she would have just given up on their relationship so easily. (And I know she did technically come back for him, and she tried to call him, but she really didn't try very hard at all to find him. Go to the airport? I mean, he JUST left your apartment, and it's an international flight; there's no way he's gone yet. Call one of his parents? Talk to your "best friend" who's been hanging out with him? SHE COULD HAVE FOUND HIM IF SHE REALLY WANTED TO.) So she must have decided to just take that time and focus on her career. (Which she even told Caleb on the show, in 6.12.) So how in the hell does she end up ENGAGED two years later? Also, I like to think that Hanna took a good amount of time to recover from the breakup, especially considering the fact that she didn't even want to breakup in the first place. So let's say, at least six months, although I think it's probably more like a year. Meaning, she met Jordan 2.5-3 years into the time jump, and they were engaged around the beginning of year 4, meaning, she knew him for MAYBE a year to a year and a half.
ALSO, she was still a college student (assuming she graduated in the traditional 4 years) right up until they got engaged, and working demanding jobs/internships. And it sounds like Jordan had a pretty demanding job, too. If she and Caleb couldn't make it work, despite already having a super solid foundation of their relationship, knowing each other inside and out, having been through more than most couples do throughout their entire relationship, together for four years, then HOW THE HELL does she get ENGAGED to this random guy after MAYBE a year and a half? I mean, she can't even really know the guy that well, right?! When could they possibly have had time to spend together? I'm guessing as Hanna became an upperclassmen, her classes got even harder, her jobs got even more demanding, and she had even less free time to devote to a relationship than the ZERO free time she already had as an underclassmen. And it's pretty obvious that on top of not even knowing him, she doesn't really love him, either. Given the fact that she admitted she never stopped loving Caleb, she started questioning her engagement literally as soon as she saw Caleb again (looking down at her engagement ring regretfully after he leaves her hotel room in 6.11), and she refused to plan their wedding, she obviously didn't really love him. So why in the hell is she SETTLING at 22?! If you're gonna give up on true love, you gotta give it a little longer, sweetie. Look at Clare Crawley: I don't know if any of you watch The Bachelorette, but she's 39 and still trying for true love. (As much as I haven't particularly enjoyed watching her as The Bachelorette, I really think she does deserve love, so I truly hope things work out between her and Dale.)
In summary, I seriously just find it so ridiculous and out of character for Hanna to be marrying a rando so young. If she had gotten engaged to Caleb at 22, THAT would have made a lot of sense. They would have been together 5-6 years at that point, AND they were totally in love. But Hanna settling for the first guy that she meets after her and Caleb's breakup, knowing she doesn't even know him or love him, is so out of character for her. The show spent 6 seasons developing Hanna Marin as a strong, independent woman, and yet suddenly she can't survive without a man? She NEEDS to get married at 23 to a guy she doesn't even want to marry just for stability while she's supposed to be focusing on her career? Just like I think Caleb dating Spencer was so incredibly out of character for him (Hanna is literally Caleb's entire world, he would never ever ever have any interest in one of her BEST FRIENDS), I think Hanna being engaged so young is incredibly out of character for her. In essence, I think they really ruined their characters in the time jump, which is why I typically just try to ignore the existence of the show after 6A (although I will admit they do have some good moments from 7.10-7.20.) I understand that Marlene felt the need to create drama and keep it "interesting," but I think she went about that in completely the wrong way. There are plenty of ways to give happy couples drama without destroying their characters, making them completely OOC, ignoring any and all character development, and tearing them apart and doing the exact OPPOSITE of what your loyal fans want to see. All I have to say to Marlene King is: Use your brain. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, bitch. It's no wonder all your other shows got cancelled, and they're redoing PLL without you. We are over you and your bullshit!
Also, side note, if anyone has any tips on how to get rid of all of this anger that I am clearly harboring (completely against my will!), I'm all ears. Trust me when I say, I absolutely DO NOT want to be this angry about this shit at all. It is not a conscious decision. It's just that every time I think about it, I can't help my blood pressure rising. So if you have any ideas, help a girl out! (And yes, I've considered therapy but imagine having to tell your therapist that you're there because you ship fictional couples too hard. I think I would rather die than do that.)