Life and Death: Chapter 26

The following days they settled into a new kind of routine. The Joker was occupied getting his business rolling, connecting the strings that had gone lax during his absence – every time he turned his back, some morons thought they could chip in. He was going to let them know who was in charge. Some of his old henchmen had returned to the safe house, preparing for the move back to their old place. Some had been imprisoned and others had scattered in the wind after his arrest, and he'd have to hunt them down later.

When Harley got too restless he sent her out to 'mark his presence' like back in the day – she always followed through with a grin. Unlike before, he found himself waiting until she got back from whichever warehouse or club he wanted to reclaim ownership of. With her face glowing and messy hair she yelped in surprise when he met her at the door, his hands already around her waist, pushing her up against the wall and letting her know how pleased he was. Her mallet dropped to the floor as her hands went lax in his hair, her makeup smeared and she gasped into his skin. He needed to once again get used to having her so close, being able to touch her. It was like getting used to the sharp sting of a knife until the ache became pleasurable.

They took turns watching Jaylie. She was tense and wary around the henchmen who lingered silently around the place. Harley had caught her sharpening the knives she had managed to collect without leaving her bed, by bribing or stealing them, lining them up in front of her on the sheets in perfectly straight lines, assorted sizes.

One night she crawled into bed next to her when she found all the sharp objects surrounding her. She merrily collected them and saw that they had poked holes at the pillows. A thin surface of fluffy feathers covered Jaylie's face and hair. Harley blew one away from the tip of her nose, then put them in a pile on the bedside table. "Can't sleep with choppers, honey," she said and pulled her closer.

They slept like that, Jaylie curled up against her, and Harley keeping her from reaching the knives in her sleep, as her cramped grip slowly relaxed.

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Jaylie studied the smallest of the knives she had collected; the smooth handle fit perfectly in her hand. The edge was sharp and shiny, ready for use. She let it run loosely along her fingers, tracing every visible vein and scar along her pale underarms, like following a cobweb hidden deep underneath.

The world was still slightly hazy, coming in and out of focus. The tattoo on the inside of her wrist glowed brightly when the migraines hit her. Now and then she was alone in the room, and the boredom was the worst. It was tempting to angle the blade just so and let it press deeper, just to see the cobwebs burst open, taste the color that would fill her vision and dye her skin. She wanted to see how it opened for her eyes and took something out of her.

The memory of floating, cold and light, hovered again. She stared at the blade. She had cut people up before, but it had never felt like this. It didn't mean anything.

Almost dreamily she moved the blade faster, challenging the red to come out, collecting at the tip. It was oddly soothing to feel the cold metal, like a caress diminishing the fever ravaging on the inside. Maybe she could dip into that feeling and the scratching on the inside of her mind would ease.

"That's not how you do it."

She looked up to see the Joker at the door. He approached her, but he wasn't smiling at all. She wondered what he meant - would he show her? - when he leaned over and easily pried the knife from her grip. "That one's mine." He flipped it once, before pocketing it.

Stopping for a moment, his thumb collected the single drop that had spilled from her skin and gave her a warning glance. "Next time I'll stitch ya up myself. There's no more morphine."

He wouldn't spare her the pain, she knew. She had seen him stitch up himself and Harley on a number of occasions. The stitches in her head were professionally made, but he wouldn't always give her that courtesy. He would get someone to hold her down, and the last thing she wanted was more people around her. She looked at the knife, the relief he just had taken from her and wanted to scream.

Leaning over her, his gaze dug into hers. Maybe he could feel her antsiness, the way the walls sometimes tilted in a strange direction.

"Don't even try it, Pumpkin. Daddy's got a surprise for you. You'll get to use it soon enough."

"When?" she breathed.

"Soon enough," he promised. "Consider it a birthday present."

He saw her struggling to keep her gaze focused, and tapped his finger on her face, seeing her frown with the effort. Then all the strength left her and she fell back against the pillows in the bed, her face white as a sheet. She looked up at him with a blank look on her face. It wasn't even funny, this part of her. This state reminded him of Harley, long ago, and his frustration grew. Only Harley was easy to fix, he knew what she needed.

"Vitamin time!" Harley came into the room, eagerly presenting a bottle of gummy bear-shaped pills. Jaylie uninterestedly turned her head to the side as her mother bounced down on the bed, shaking out colorful bears into her palm. "For you too, Puddin'! Have some, they're real cute."

He rolled his eyes as she leaned over to feed him one. Their lips connected as he let her slip one into his mouth, a disgustingly sweet taste. She giggled when her tongue poked his.

"Try one, Pumpkin Pie!"

"No." Jaylie burrowed further down under the covers, ignoring them as her gaze settled on the muted TV screen again. She was surrounded by empty Capri Suns, the only thing she had drunk for the last day.

Harley leaned over her. "Baby, is your head hurtin' again?"

"She's amnesiac, Harls." The Joker stood up to leave.

"Lucy too? Doesn't she remember anythin'?"

Jaylie's eyes went wide.

Harley tilted her head to the side. "Tell Mommy what's goin' on. Is Lucy there?"

Jaylie's voice was flat. "Lucy's dead."

For a few moments, no one moved.

Then Harley sat next to her and pulled her into her arms, cradling her against her chest. Jaylie's breathing got quicker until it sounded as if she was choking. Harley rocked her slowly and stroked her hair as Jaylie's hands clutched the front of her t-shirt. Harley found the familiar words, in a slightly out-of-pitch tune.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word –" The sounds of choked breathing increased. "Momma's gonna kill for you the whole damn world. And if they don't laugh at our jokes, momma's gonna stab out their goddamn throats."

Jaylie's breathing slowed a bit, hiccupping against her chest.

"And if they start to run away, momma's gonna paint the streets with blood." The Joker stood in the doorway, watching them.

"Momma's gonna show you your legacy, and if the world still tries to fight, Momma's gonna burn their houses down."

She ran her hand through her hair. "And if you grow up with his smile, Momma's gonna be so proud of you…"

Jaylie's breathing turned soft and even as she fell asleep. Harley held her, with a little smile on her lips.

The Joker stepped closer and she turned to look at him. She could still look at his face in awe, study all the fine lines on his face. Yet, he seemed to not have aged a day since they first met. She could stare forever at the beauty of it, the grey and blue of his eyes that pierced her to her very core. It still sent a shiver down her spine. That intense pull to him never left her, the exhilarating feeling of knowing.

"She did get your smile, Mistah J…"

Harley leaned forward. His hand swept past her shoulder, stroking the side of her neck, moving upwards, his thumb settling on her lower lip. She leaned into the touch, feeling his breath against her face. He smiled wide, a grin that compelled her to mirror it.

"Of course she did."

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"Tell me a story, Mama."

They lounged in bed together, watching another rerun of Looney Tunes. Jaylie rested her head on Harley's arm, her attention drifting back and forth, struggling to keep it on the screen. Funny thoughts came up now and then but there was no one to comment on them.

Harley put on the lid on her nail polish bottle and inspected her crimson nails. "What about the one with the rabbit and the lion? Oh, I know! Little Red Riding Hood! You used to love that."

"No," Jaylie protested. "Something real. And not the one about Dr. Arkham's shoes."

"It was real funny though."

"Tell me something about you. Don't I have grandparents? Zoe does."

Harley thought hard for a moment. It was hazy, like a song she only remembered the melody of without finding any words. She shrugged. "I guess ya do."

"Where are they?"

"I don't know, Puddin' Pie."

Jaylie pouted, turning to look at her with the demanding gaze that usually gave results. "I wanna see 'em."

Harley bit her lip. "They didn't like me very much."

"Why not?"

Harley's gaze was absent-minded again, but not like it was when she mentioned ice cream flavors; she simply shrugged again. "They were boring. Didn't like all my boyfriends." Her smile tensed a bit.

"What about Dad?"

"They would have been so scared." Her gaze was dreamy again.

"No, what about his parents?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself, baby." Harley stroked some strands of hair from her face, and Jaylie knew she wouldn't tell. She never uttered the Joker's secrets, not even to her. Sometimes it irked her that Harley knew more than she herself would ever manage to dig out in her lifetime.

Jaylie pretended to focus on the characters on the screen again and Harley hummed quietly, content by the familiar lull of a story she had seen so many times before.

Later that night when Harley went out to get them some food – her cooking skills were as disastrous as ever – the Joker briefly returned to the safe house. Jaylie waited impatiently in bed. Crayons, coloring pens and paper were scattered around her, and she impatiently picked up a broken one and broke it into smaller pieces as she heard him go over orders with someone on the phone. She was bored enough for her fingertips to itch - restless and her mind curious for anything new. She had watched four movies in a row but didn't remember anything but vague figures.

He entered her room without paying her any attention - just making sure she hadn't tried to leave the place. She tilted her head to the side and put on her most innocent face just to be sure.

"Do I have any grandparents?"

He stopped in the doorway, raised his brows and looked at her as if he questioned her sanity. His left hand twitched, a sign that told her something.

"No," he said with a grimace. "If you've been seeing them, it's not real."

She leaned forward. "What happened to them?" She was on thin ice, she knew, judging by the way his gaze turned into a glare. "Are they dead?"

Watching his face closely, it gave no emotion away other than annoyance. Giving him a bit space, she changed direction: "What about your tattoos?"

He drew closer to her, a clear warning, but she had caught his interest. "Curiosity killed the c-at."

"You said you would tell me someday. What if I die and never find out?"

"That's too bad then." He pondered this for a moment.

"What's all in?" she nagged, knowing he couldn't resist gloating.

"I've got luck on my side," he grinned darkly at her. "And I always win." Then, he left her again with only another fragment.

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The sound of the front door opening and sudden barking had Jaylie stumbling out of bed, almost losing her balance and settling down on her knees. She was met by Lou eagerly licking her face, panting and buffing his nose against her as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Lou!"

His fur was thick and unwashed, smelling like something old and wet. She buried her face in it, feeling his comforting warmth.

"Where was he?"

"Some lady had taken care of 'im, but I told her he was going home to the cutest girl in the world." Harley smiled brightly standing by the door, holding a leash. A brown, slightly smaller hyena-like dog rushed into the room, sniffed at Jaylie, before returning to Harley and licking her hands.

"These two got real close, so I just had to adopt this one too. Isn't he adorable? Yes you are!" she cooed at the slobbering creature with sharp canines. "I call 'im Bud, whatcha think?" She released the leash from the spiky collar around the hyena dog's neck and Bud jumped over to Lou who nudged him in a rough but affectionate manner. Jaylie giggled, trying to speak as Lou kept licking her face and hands. "I love him."

The Joker looked at the dogs with an annoyed frown, entering the room behind Harley. "You two could start a flea market. It's crawlin' all over."

"Oh, come on Puddin', he's so cute it doesn't matter!"

He grimaced, rolling his eyes.

Jaylie looked up at them and a sudden thought hit her, from the hazy cloud in the back of her mind. "June…"

"Who?" Harley looked confusedly at her.

"June Moone... What happened to her? She was in Arkham with me."

The clown couple exchanged a look. J rolled back on his heels for a moment, non-existent brows raised with a look of perfect innocence. Harley frowned. "You knew her?"

Jaylie glanced at them, her face half-buried in Lou's fur. "Mhm. Did she get out?"

Harley's voice was strangely pitched. "I didn't see her."

The Joker rolled his eyes. "What was the deal with that old witch anyway?"

Jaylie ran her fingers through Lou's knotted fur. "I tricked her into helping me." She studied their expressions for a moment, but they revealed nothing she could read. She grasped for the next piece from the cloud, things were coming back to her, in loose fragments.

"I wanna see Zoe. Bud and Lou can come with me."

"No." J was already turning to leave.

"Why?" She got to her feet, with Lou twirling around her legs, buffing and eagerly showing how much he missed her.

"When the good doctor says so." He glanced back at her, as he turned to leave. "Don't push it."

Harley picked up a bag of dog treats, effectively making both the hungry dogs run to her in excited anticipation. "Bath time, boys!"

When she had gone to bathe and trim Bud and Lou, Jaylie was left alone again. She looked at the colorful gummy bears that Harley had arranged in a smiley face on the bedside table. She still missed Lucy, her commentary and energy, but she felt less alone. They were all around her again. When she remembered the empty cell, the camera in the ceiling, the world got hazy again and she blinked hard to keep the room in focus.

Now when no one was here to fill the space, the silence started growing again, pressing on her ears.

She heard someone entering behind her and turned to see Johnny Frost, slightly limping. He looked a bit different than she could remember, even though she couldn't exactly remember what he had looked like. He was thinner, with deep shadows underneath his eyes, carrying a tray of food. His face didn't show any emotion at seeing her again after so many months.

His voice was the same, wary and carefully neutral. "Boss says he'll let you join him in the club next week if you eat it all."

It was a reasonable and smart move, so she reached out and picked up a baby carrot from the plate, grimacing at the vegetable but still nibbling at it. She shot him a glance with a slightly curious expression. "Will I get to run the business again?"

His face didn't betray him. "You are not to leave his sight."

She kept her face expressionless. "I'm gonna do what I want."

The apprehension and tiredness clearly showed in his face now, a thin bead of sweat breaking out on his forehead. He looked so much older.

"I mean it. He won't –"

"Kidding!" she giggled. The room felt clearer again, the haze lifted.

Johnny Frost let his composure slip and almost glared at her for a brief moment. "Lucy," he muttered, as he put the tray down on her bedside table. Truth to be told, he didn't want to see her in a club situation again after what happened last time. He wondered what Boss would do if she tried to pull that stunt and going off on her own again without letting them know what she was up to. It would get messy, he knew, and J would not go soft on her.

Jaylie shrugged and placed the carrot on the plate. "I don't wanna run a business, it's boring." She also didn't want the Joker to tell her again, in his own violent way, what would happen if she decided to mingle with stranger men again and faked a territory of her own, and they both knew that.

"You still need to stay where they can see ya. You know it's not a nice place in there." Frost glanced at her. He was surprised by himself for saying this. Not interfering in other people's business was how he got this far. "You're older now so you'll be more noticed by the patrons and J's enemies. If you stray too far you'll be a target in no time."

She tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"You're always going to be an easy target in their eyes."

"No." She bit back, staring at him and holding his gaze. He resisted the urge to turn his eyes away because it was the same gaze Boss used to give him. "Why are they there? In my club, in my space."

He was about to point out that it was definitely not her club, but changed his mind.

"They shouldn't be there if they're only gonna look at me," she hissed. "I thought Mama cleaned them out last year." The empty malevolence in her eyes was familiar. Despite her small stature, he knew she had a will to kill and nothing to hold her back.

"You're not just a kid in a dress running around with hammer anymore. Everyone knows who you are."

"I don't want that."

He pushed back the memory of her slammed against the wall, her clothes torn off her by the mobster. He couldn't even think of what would have happened if there hadn't been an intervention. Surprised by his own reaction, he felt a deep-seated disgust and growing anger in his entire body; he wished he could have been the one to kill her attackers. Not only because it was a part of his job description; he genuinely wanted to see them dead and he had never felt that way about anyone but the Boss. She was no longer just a brat to him, someone he was generously paid to watch over.

He saw the new scars, the marks on her pale face, the way her gaze sometimes grew distant for minutes and she forgot what she was doing. He couldn't keep his usual composure or distance from her any longer. Not after this.

"I'm glad that you're okay," he said at last. The right words would have been I'm glad that you're alive. Despite it all, he had missed that glimpse of mischief or deep focus in her eyes that always kept him on the edge for whatever she would decide to do next, not knowing how many casualties and re-hiring and tantrums from the Boss it would result in.

She suddenly wrapped her arms around him. He tensed up and she grinned up at him, her mood ever-shifting. She was so similar to the Joker in some ways that it still unsettled him, even though the Boss would never reciprocate his loyalty.

"I missed you too, Frosty. I thought you were dead."

He noticed that she didn't say we, but let it pass, trying to relax. It wasn't the first time she had hugged him but she was not exactly affectionate with anyone but her parents. This could just as well be an attempt to steal his new Rolex just to pick it apart and throw away the pieces.

"Still standing," he said, a bit awkwardly. He considered if he should dare to reciprocate the gesture, and decided to. He awkwardly patted her back and wrapped one arm around her when steps alerted him to someone's return.

Jaylie straightened up after another moment and pulled back, to Frost's relief.

"Getting cozy, are we?" the Joker hummed.

Frost was well aware of his gaze, ever possessive. Jaylie didn't take any notice of him, instead turning to look at Harley who stood behind him, carrying several bags of dog food.

J's voice was low and smooth. "What were you and Johnny gossiping about, hmm?"

She grinned sweetly at him. "Nothing. No cards up my sleeves." She held up her bare arms to show him.

He rolled his eyes but let it slide, as she walked over to Harley, being rewarded by a sloppy forehead kiss from her. "I wanna make clean house in the clubs again, Mama."

"Oh, that's gonna be fun!" Harley giggled, looking expectantly at her partner, eyes glinting. "Whatcha say, Puddin', we have some cleanin' to do. I'm gonna bash in some brains."

His expression mirrored hers, the promise of violence always putting him in a good mood. He leaned in to let his breath ghost over Harley's lips. "Johnny-boy, I hope you bought more bleach."

"Yes, Boss." Standing there, Frost averted his gaze. For a moment he wondered what would happen if Jaylie decided to bring home a boyfriend any time soon. God help that poor boy.

J firmly pulled Harley out of the room while she giggled. All previous plans forgotten and the bags dropping to the floor with a careless thud, they disappeared into their own bedroom, completely preoccupied with each other. They could hear Harley yelp and then giggle more as the door shut behind them.

Jaylie looked at Frost, both of them ignoring what they just had seen. "I want you to find someone."

He was immediately wary. "Does J know about this?"

"No. I know you can," she said, her eyes focused and uncompromising. "I can't exactly look by myself."

He resigned with a sigh, knowing it was going to bring him more headaches. "Who?"

"My grandparents. Last name Quinzel."

TBC. Please leave a review.