chapter twenty-one

Bella Swan was spending a lot of time on the reservation lately. Embry wasn't really surprised to see her there, sitting in the corner while Jake worked on some cheap piece of scrap metal that was probably never going to run again. Jacob always kept trying, though, he always had to distract himself with something. And it wasn't really that Embry minded her presence (besides that reeking smell of bleach she was coated in), and he even semi-affectionately dubbed her "vampire-girl." But Bella asked a lot of questions.

"Jacob told me you imprinted," she said to Embry, while they were both sitting idle, watching Jacob pretend he was gonna be able to fix the bikes Remy had convinced him to destroy.

"Yeah."

There was a brief lull in conversation, in which Jacob cursed at the metal and kicked a tool that went flying into the opposite wall. Bella flinched at the sound, and watched Jacob with careful eyes before turning to Embry and asking, "Can you tell me what it's like?"

"Imprinting?"

"Yeah."

Embry let out a heavy breath. He had never really tired to explain it before; it was a just a feeling that felt so natural and right to him, he didn't know how to put it into words. ''It's...scary as hell. I never used to think about Remy but now it's like, everything I do, it's all for her. Now she's all I think about. The way I feel about her is so overwhelming. I used to think it was a bad thing, that I wouldn't be myself if I ever imprinted, but when I'm with Remy I feel more like myself than I ever have before. She's just...she's like air. I couldn't live without her. I'd die for her without a second thought."

"That's intense," Bella said after a moment, looking contemplative. And then, she offered Embry a smiled. "What's she like? Is she nice?"

Jacob barked out a laugh at the question, but Embry continued on. "No, Remy's not nice. I mean, that sounds bad, but she's just so, raw. A little unapproachable. Remy doesn't like many people; she's pretty particular, I guess. She's tough as hell, too. But she's a really good friend to the people she cares about."

"I like Remy," Jacob interjected, grinning up at the two of them. "She's the most fun imprint. Totally unpredictable. I'm stoked to see all the ways she drives Embry absolutely insane."

Bella smiled, but looked between the both of them like there was something she was missing. "How'd she react when you told her?"

The question made Embry flush. "Yeah, I kinda haven't told her yet. I don't really know how I'm supposed to bring that up, and I definitely don't think she'd like the idea very much."

"Doesn't the imprint go both ways? Shouldn't she be happy?" Bella asked, and then after a moment she said, "I mean, it eliminates any confusion. And she doesn't have to worry about finding someone who's right for her."

"Um, no. I don't think Remy would be happy about it, and I don't think she was even looking for 'the right person.' She doesn't like being told what to do, so I don't think she'd be cool with a magical and unbreakable bond that connects her to me for the rest of her life," Embry paused, knotting his hands together. He had spent a lot of time trying to imagine how telling Remy about the imprint would go. He came up with about a dozen different scenarios, and none of them were very pleasant. "I think I would genuinely rather take on fifty leeches at once than tell Remy I imprinted on her."

Jacob scoffed. "Stop being a wimp. What's the worst that could happen?"

"She could tell me she hates me and wants nothing to do with me and then leave me forever, and that is a fate worse than death."

Jacob turned to Bella, waving a wrench around for emphasis. "See, this is why I hate imprinting. Everyone's a melodramatic simp." He shifted towards Embry. "And besides, hasn't Remy hated you like four different times by now?"

Embry flinched. "Don't remind me."

"I'm just saying, even if it goes wrong, she'll get over it. You're too perfect for her for her to ignore you forever."

Embry sighed, leaning back into the garage wall and frowning. He didn't want to think about what it would be like if Jacob was wrong.

The sound of Quil's car fighting against the dirt made him perk up, though, because the arrival of Quil meant the arrival of Remy. There was this weird feeling of jealousy Embry got at the idea that Quil got to drop Remy off at work and then pick her up a few hours later, and even worse towards Bobby, who gave her rides to school and back, now that they were basically living together. And he knew he could just ask Quil if he wanted him to do it, if Quil wanted to save on gas and time, but he had this sort of crippling fear of being around Remy too much. He worried about overwhelming her.

She came into his line of sight giggling, and his heart felt full, on the brink of bursting. Remy always looked kind of messy, walking around in sweatshirts that feel halfway down her thighs and old pairs of jeans that hung loosely around her legs. She had to roll them up at her ankles so she wouldn't be stepping on them with her old sneakers that were covered in dirt and a suspicious rusted-colored stain.

Remy waved when she saw Embry, smile playing on her lips and he felt awe-struck. Remy leaned against the side of the garage door and proudly declared, "Quil's pissed."

And before he could ask why, Quil was storming into the garage. "Remy's a dumbass," he said simply, next to his cousin. His expression lightened when he saw Bella, who he always had a not-so-secret soft spot for. "Oh, hey Bella," he said, sounding gentler. The girl gave him a small wave, but her eyes were on Remy.

"I'm not a dumbass," Remy said with an eyeroll. "I'm just fun. I'm a fun guy with fun ideas."

Embry didn't think a lot of the ideas Remy thought were fun were necessarily the best ideas. He looked at Remy with an expectant expression. "What did you do?"

"Well, me and Bobby got back from classes yesterday, and we were doing homework when her pen exploded. And then, I got this idea, from all the ink that was everywhere-"

"She gave herself a fucking tattoo," Quil interrupted, voice dripping with annoyance.

"What?"

"It's not that bad," Remy defended.

"No, it's that bad. It's really bad," Quil insisted. "And it's like, three-hundred percent gonna get infected."

Jacob looked towards Bella, grinning. "See what I mean? Totally unpredictable. Super fun."

Quil looked like he was about to explode. Quil had kind of assigned himself the role of Remy's older brother, since it was fairly clear how desperately she missed Briah. And even though Quil really did love her like a sister, he had told Embry many times that loving Remy was exhausting. "It's not fun. She could die from an infection because she used a sewing needle to poke ink in her skin like five-hundred times," Quil said, and Embry thought he might pass out at the idea.

Remy crossed her arms and mumbled, "I think it's pretty fun."

"I'm hiring a babysitter to watch you and Bobby."

"Can I see?" Embry asked, head spinning.

At his request, Remy grabbed the hem of her sweatshirt and pulled it up past her hip and Embry felt his face heat up. And at first, he didn't even notice the tattoo. He was distracted over the fact that this was the most of Remy's skin he had seen (besides when she wore Bobby's shirt, and even though that night he was overwhelmed with worry, he didn't forget how she looked in that shirt). That only lasted a moment, though, because right on Remy's hip, there was a shaky and poorly proportioned kitchen knife. And it wasn't just the kitchen knife. There was a sickly green bruise that had spread around it, and scabbed, dried blood that covered it.

"Holy shit," Jacob said laughing.

"It's cute," Remy insisted, tugging her sweatshirt back down.

"Remy, it's all bruised and scabbed," Embry reminded her, worried that she had forgotten about that part.

"Well, yeah," she said easily, sauntering towards him and sitting by his side, "I stabbed myself with a needle for like, forty-minutes. My skin's not just gonna be cool with that. Doesn't mean it's infected."

Embry sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "You're gonna give me an aneurysm."

"Yeah, but do you like it?"

The worry in her voice made him smile. "It's very cute."

Quil pointed a finger at Embry. "You give in too easily."

He ignored Quil. "Oh, Remy, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is Remy Cree."

"Hey," Bella said, giving Remy a small smile and wave. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Jake and Embry."

And Embry couldn't explain it, but Bella's words made Remy's face twist, like Bella said something Remy didn't like at all. Embry recognized that look on her; it was sour. And Remy just said to Bella, "Alright," before turning her ahead away from the Forks girl.

Embry knew better than to push it.

He reached over and grabbed Remy's cast, bringing it into his lap and gently turning it around. "I can't believe you broke your hand punching a tree."

"I can't believe you can't believe it."

"I mean, a broken hand and a tattoo all in one week? Can you spread out the destructive decision making a little further apart?"

Remy laughed. It was a sound that made Embry feel warm. "I wouldn't call it decision making. There's really not enough thought involved for them to be considered conscious decisions."

"Will you come with me to Sam's house tonight?" he asked suddenly. "Emily's making dinner for the pa-, I mean, for all the guys. I really want you to come."

"I dunno," Remy said, biting down on her lip. "I feel like I'm not exactly the most liked person in that group of people."

Embry placed his arm over her. "Come on, it'll be fun. Everyone'll love you. I promise you'll have a good time."

Remy couldn't make herself look more uncomfortable if she tried.

Embry kept watching her pushing around little bits of her potatoes and occasionally nibbling on a boiled carrot. Quil noticed this, and whenever he thought no one was looking, he kept shoving his own vegetables onto Remy's plate. Embry figured she wasn't used to being around this many people, nevermind being in such close proximity to Jared, who made her life hell, and Sam, who made her brother's life hell. She kept chewing on her cheek, eyes darting all over the room. And suddenly he felt bad for inviting her.

"How's your food?" Embry asked over the booming conversation that went on between everyone else at the table.

"Very homey," she said with vegetables in her mouth, "I imagine this is what the food at my house would taste like if my parents developed basic skills all adults should have."

"Hey, Remy," Seth suddenly called from across the table, halting all general conversation, "can I sign your cast?"

Remy frowned, giving him a look of false sympathy and waving her cast around. She said, "Sorry, no space."

Seth blinked. "The cast is blank."

"There's just no space, kid."

Quil rolled his eyes. "You're such a snob, Remy. Sam, toss me a marker."

Embry watched with a look of delight as everyone passed around a permanent marker, taking their turns writing out their names in giant letters. Remy kept her hand in the middle of the table, looking horrified as Sam took the marker and wrote out his name in careful penmanship, his name looking smaller than everyone else's. Even Jared signed, his named adorned with a smiley face. Jacob, Seth, and Quil argued over the space on the top of the cast, the most coveted spot, and the whole time everyone's attention was fixated on Remy's right hand, she was using her left one to tightly grip Embry's fingers.

Remy relaxed after her hand was passed around, and as plates were cleared and dishes thrown in the sink, she engaged more with the people around her. And Embry was content to watch, smile on his face while she talked to Emily about cooking and baking and asked for help in the kitchen because Remy claimed she desperately needed it. She joined in on the relentless teasing of Jacob that everyone liked to take part of, and did so with a smile on her face. And when Leah popped in, looking grumpy and tired, Remy perked up, rushing over to talk to the older girl as soon as she could. And that was something that was particularity shocking to Embry, because Remy barely wanted to talk to anyone, nevermind Leah, the least friendly person he had ever met.

Although, after some thought, he figured he could kind of see the appeal. But Leah brushed off Remy pretty easily, though, and disappeared further into the house with Emily.

The most interesting conversation, though, was a spirited and extremely confusing debate between Remy and Paul, something that Paul had called unfinished business.

"The theory of deconstruction is literally the most essential asset in any form of meaningful analysis and Derrida is a genius. And like, I get that you don't actually ever wanna think about things too deeply and Plato says that's okay, but you get a pretty shallow understanding of life that way," Remy said, volume of her voice rising to almost a shout. Her face was flushed and her eyes were narrowed at Paul and Embry thought that if he was Paul he would've just shut up and agreed.

But Paul just scoffed, staring at Remy from across the table with an equal intensity. "I'm sorry, you expect me to believe some French asshole over Plato? The true essence of any text is the only thing that matters in analysis and Derrida focuses on the appearance of an idea over the essence, which even sounds wrong."

"Yeah, maybe if you have the cognitive processing skills of a two-year old," Remy replied readily.

Paul leaned back in his seat. "Tell it to Plato."

"Plato is a bitch and so are you."

"The only reason you like deconstruction is cause Derrida used Nietzsche's criticism of Platonism."

"Yeah, and he was right to do so. Nietzsche is brilliant and Plato didn't wipe his ass."

Jacob looked back and forth between the two of them with a blank expression. "I'm sorry, what the hell is going on?"

Embry, with his arm over Remy's shoulders like it always was, grinned. "Remy's really good at philosophy and is absolutely smoking Paul in a debate right now."

"I'm just impressed Paul knows this many words," Sam said, gently nudging Paul.

Then Seth, features scrunched up, asked, "Wasn't Nietzsche a Nazi?" and unknowingly started another twenty minute debate.

Though the debate was intense, and there were several points in which Embry was convinced Remy and Paul were just starting to make things up, it was more than Embry could've asked for to see his imprint so comfortable around the rest of the pack. She was close by his side, under his arm and his protection and Embry felt like he had worked so hard just for the simplicity of the moment. He was beyond content, and the moment was perfect.

And then Kim walked through the door.

Sam had spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best ways to get the entire pack to stop talking at once, but as soon as he shut down one conversation, another one started up. But if he really wanted everyone to shut up on the spot, the best way to do it would've been to put Kim Conway and Remy Cree in the same room together.

Embry tightened his arm over Remy, while Kim stared her down with intense eyes. "Can I talk to you?" she asked, voice cutting through the silence.

Wordlessly, Remy nodded, and looked at Embry with a pair of sad eyes. "I'll be right back," she said to him, and then shrugged his arm off of her to follow Kim out the door.

The room was motionless and silent for about five seconds after the door slammed shut, and then, as if they were all operating on the same brain cell, every single one of them rushed to the windows facing the backyard to try and see what was happening between the two imprintees.

"Can anyone hear them?" Seth asked, with his face pressed against the window.

"No," Jared replied, shaking his head. "Kim's playing music off her phone. Probably knew we'd be listening. God, she's so smart."

Embry watched Remy. He paid attention to the way her shoulders slumped and her round eyes were wide open and eyebrows raised, like she was annoyed. While Kim talked, Remy shifted her weight around and kept crossing and uncrossing her arms. Embry watched as Remy's muscles relaxed, and the details in her face softened at something Kim said. Remy wasn't saying much.

Sam's voice came from behind them. "You guys don't have to be so immature," he said, though there was no commanding tone to his words. They all stayed still. "Jared, Embry, you're really gonna stand their and try to invade on their privacy like that?"

Embry turned towards his alpha. "Yeah, I have to make sure nothing bad happens."

"Yeah," Jared agreed, "like Remy trying to start a fight."

Embry shot daggers at Jared, jaw tensed, and then Paul said, "I've got ten on Remy."

"I want in on that," Jacob said, eyes fixated on the scene outside the window.

"No way," Seth said lightly, with a chuckle, "Remy's right hand is broken. That's one less hand to fight with."

Quil scoffed at the younger boy's words. "I'm sorry have you met Remy? I would bet against Kim if Remy had no hands."

"Yeah, and she could swing that thing around like a weapon. It's pretty solid," Jacob agreed.

"Would you guys shut up?" Jared snapped, briefly taking his eyes away from the scene that was unfolding before them.

"It's not my fault Embry has a tank of an imprint," Paul mumbled.

"I still think Kim could put up a pretty decent fight. And besides, Remy looks all twiggy and tired."

Embry growled, placing his hand on Seth's shoulder and shoving him backwards. "Seth, I'll kill you right now." But Seth was right. Remy did look tired, and her limbs looked toned, but thinner than Kim's. Embry thought of the small amount she ate during dinner, feeling uneasy.

"They're not gonna fight," Sam called from the other room.

"Are you kidding?" Paul asked incredulously. "Did you not just see Remy almost rip my head off because I disagreed with her over a philosopher?"

"Yeah, and one time Kim didn't talk to me for three days because I lost her favorite pen," Quil said, and then added, "Honestly, it's kind of a miracle that they were even friends in the first place. And for so long too."

Jared sounded as annoyed as Embry felt. "Well you shouldn't have taken her fucking pen, Quil."

"And Remy isn't some brute, Paul. You're just annoying as hell. I wanna rip your head off sometimes."

"Do it then, lover-boy!" Paul challenged, grinning.

"What are you guys doing?"

Leah's voice made them all jump back, and they were forced to face an annoyed looking Leah and a disappointed Emily, standing side-by-side with crossed arms. If Embry wasn't so distracted, he would've been impressed that those two were even standing that close to each other. Leah usually put a lot of effort into avoiding any sort of discussion with Emily.

"Betting on who's imprint would win in a fight," Jacob explained.

"It'd be Jared's."

"It'd be Embry's."

Leah rolled her eyes. "You guys are pathetic."

"They're coming back!" Seth said, eye still pressed against the window.

Embry barely got back in his seat by the time the door was swinging open, and Kim rushed over to Jared. She grabbed his hand and yanked him up, not saying a word to anyone, and then rushed right back out the door, shoulder nearly grazing Remy as she entered. Embry's eyes were wide.

Remy smiled at him, ignoring the stares of everyone around her. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"What'd you and Kim talk about?" Embry asked as the two of them walked along the shore. He kept his hand next to hers, lowering himself just a little so their hands would occasionally brush. Embry really wanted her to grab it. He was always leaning into her, holding her and taking her hand in his. He just wanted her to want him, this time.

Remy smiled up at him. The sun was setting and its light hit her face in such a wonderful way."Oh, that? I thought you guys were listening."

Embry flushed. "Music drowned out your voices," he said honestly.

"Hmmm." Remy eyes studied his face before she continued. "She apologized for prioritizing her relationship over her friendship with me and for saying things to hurt me. I apologized for getting mad at her over Jared's actions and for threatening her. We talked about why everything happened the way it did, and then she asked if we could go back to being friends."

"That's great!"

"I said no."

Embry did a double take. "What? Why?"

"I dunno. There's only so much that can happen between two people before a line has to be drawn. We both went too far, and it's kinda hard to come back from something like that. I mean, how am I supposed to go back to hanging out with Kim when she insulted Bear just to hurt me? How is she gonna tolerate me when I told her I'd punch her teeth out and I meant it? Not to mention, Bobby's my best friend now, and historically, those two don't really mesh well together."

"So you guys are just done? Never being friends again?" Embry asked. He was thinking of the look on Remy's face the first time they had ever hung out together, when Kim showed up and snapped at her, saying the worst things she could've thought of. He remembered thinking that if Remy never spoke to Kim again, he wouldn't have blamed her.

Remy shrugged. "I mean, I'll be nice to her, if she's around. But I'm not gonna go out of my way to spend any time with her. And it sucks, but I guess that just kinda happens sometimes."

"At least you have me and Bobby. I mean, especially me, but Bobby's good, too I guess."

Remy stopped and looked up at Embry with a toothy smile, eyes squinted in the sun. Her smile made his heart stop. Remy was beautiful, but it was a special kind of beauty. It was something unique and striking, and it hit him hard every time he looked at her. And he was so entranced in her smile he almost didn't notice when her phone started ringing.

She gave Embry an apologetic look before answering. "Hello?" she answered, sounding annoyed at the interruption.

And Embry didn't mean to listen. He wanted to give Remy her privacy, like he failed to do earlier in the day. But the voice on the other end of the line was loud. He figured he would be able to hear it clearly even if he didn't have the enhanced hearing. "Your father didn't want me to call. He said I should let you have some space, but Rosemary, this is ridiculous. I'm your mother and you need to come home. I don't know why you think you can just run off, but I'm tired of-"

And while the voice was rambling, Remy rolled her eyes. She cut her off with a quick, "Okay, bye, love you,"and not only hung up, but shut her phone off. She looked back towards Embry. "Hear any of that?"

Remy's home situation made him nervous. Embry didn't have a lot to go off of, but he knew that it was bad enough for Remy to feel like she had to escape to Bobby's, and that was enough for him to worry. "When's the last time you went home?" he asked, trying to keep any anger out of his tone.

"Couple days ago. I just got a bunch of stuff and left. I dunno. It's too much to be there right now."

"What happened?"

Remy started walking again, dragging her feet in the sand and moving slowly. "My mom has some less than favorable opinions about me. Heard some rumors, now she thinks she can just say really shitty things about me and I should just sit there and take it, cause I guess in her mind you have kids to mindlessly berate them. Gonna stay at Bobby's for a bit, or at least until her parents kick me out," she explained, like it was so simple, like there was nothing to it.

"You could always stay with me," Embry offered almost a little too quickly. "I mean, if things don't work out at home, or with Bobby."

She sounded a little bit sadder when she said, "I don't think your mom likes me very much either."

"I think she would, if you gave her time. Who could hate you?"

"The list is long."

"Okay, give me the list and I'll fight everyone on it."

Remy laughed. "You seem to have convinced yourself that I lack the ability to defend or take care of myself."

"I can't help it," Embry said, and he thought that Remy couldn't even begin to imagine the lengths he would go to to make sure she was safe. "I feel pretty protective towards you, if you hadn't noticed. And I dunno, I guess that's the kinda person I always had to be. Man of the house, and everything."

It was then that Remy reached over and grabbed Embry's hand. His heart was out of control at the contact. "It must have been hard, growing up without a dad," Remy said, voice hushed.

"It's harder not knowing who he is," Embry said, squeezing her hand. "My mom knows. She just won't tell me. And it's hard to think that I could be Quil or Jake's brother. It would mean I'm some product of adultery. That a man I admired growing up did something pretty fucked up. That's why I kinda hope it's Sam's dad. He's already awful."

Remy was silent for a moment. "What an awful guessing game you're forced to play."

"It's gotta be one of them, though. My mom's from a different tribe, but I still got the wolf gene." Embry tended to get caught up in the speculating, always stuck wondering who his mother was hiding from him. And he thought that if his mother didn't tell him, she wasn't telling him for a reason; he know if he wanted to find the reason out.

"Does she not know?" Remy asked, and Embry shook his head. "I get why she's so worried now."

Embry looked down at Remy, but her eyes were drawn to the sand beneath her. "I have to sneak out and stay out all night for patrols. And there's this...situation with Bella Swan that we have to keep an eye out for."

Remy tensed at the name. "You guys sure do a lot to protect Bella Swan," she grumbled.

"She attracts a lot of danger," Embry explained simply.

But Remy frowned. "Quil said he thinks Bella Swan's pretty hot."

Her words made him frown, trying to figure out how that was relevant. "Um, yeah I guess Quil always had kind of a crush on her."

And even though her head was faced down, Embry could still see the hints of a blush creep up her neck and towards her cheeks. "Do you think she's pretty?" Remy asked in such a quite and grumbled voice that Embry had to strain to hear her.

But when the words hit him, he grinned. Remy was jealous. "Well, she's definitely not as pretty as you," he said gently, enjoying watching the redness spread on her face. Remy was usually so guarded and unbothered, but her embarrassment was adorable.

"So why does Bella Swan attract danger?" she asked, shifting the conversation when she was satisfied.

Embry realized how much he had yet to explain to Remy. "Remember when Jake told you about Bella and her boyfriend?" Remy nodded. "Well, her boyfriend's one of them. Y'know, a vamp," he said, feeling nervous about discussing anything supernatural with Remy. But she didn't react to his words, so he kept going. "He's part of like, a whole pack of leeches. And I guess, when their kind dates a human, it turns heads in the tick world. This one guy tried to kill Bella, I guess, and they killed that guy. Now that guy's girlfriend is trying to track down Bella."

"Jesus," Remy mumbled, "talk about bad taste in men."

He smiled. "Yeah, those are some pretty severe consequences just to date an undead guy."

"Isn't she afraid they'd like, eat her, or something?"

"The Cullens are different from other leeches. I mean, they're still leeches, but they don't feed off humans. They hunt animals. We have this treaty with them. If they stay like that, not harming any humans, and stay off our land, we won't kill 'em."

Remy tightened her grip on his hand. "What are they like?"

"Vampires?" she nodded. "They're creepy. Creepy as hell. They don't age. Their skin is hard, like marble, and really, really cold. Most of them have red eyes, but the Cullens have like, weird yellow eyes. Sometimes, their eyes are black. And we found out from Bella that some of them can do like, extra weird shit. Like one of them can see the future, Bella's boyfriend can read minds. There's one really creepy one that can like, control emotions."

Embry felt Remy shudder. "I don't care for that."

He chuckled. "No one does."

"What do I do if I see one?" Remy asked, leaning in closer to him.

"Scream like hell, until one of us hears you" he said, "but you don't have to worry about that. I wouldn't let a leech get near you. Not a goddamn chance."

And he didn't think Remy felt comforted by that, and he thought he knew exactly why.

disclaimer: nietzsche was not a nazi! his theories were corrupted by nazis, so a lot of people think he is. but hes not!

also, can you tell from my heavy dialogue that i specialize in screenplays lol