Chapter 18 — A Bit of an Impasse

Harry and Hermione arrived back at Grimmauld Place just in time for a late dinner. There were a few members of the Order left in the kitchen, but Harry and Hermione ignored them for the most part, having gone without food for most of the day. They shoved down the roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, and brussels sprouts Molly had cooked up and quickly made their way up to Harry's room, eager to tell Ron what happened.

Harry turned the doorknob to his room and Hermione followed him in. Ron was lounging on the bed, playing solo wizard's chess. His face was scrunched in concentration. The most Hermione ever saw him focused was when he was playing chess.

He looked up and broke into a grin. "Hey, you two. How was today with Snape?"

Hermione looked at Harry first and then back to Ron. "You see, about that."

"Oh no, this is where you tell me something else crazy. Let me tell you, nothing is crazier than you being a mermaid, Hermione."

She smiled. "Well, it has a little bit to do with that."

Hermione started the story from when she and Harry had left that morning until the present, sparing no details. Well, except maybe the little kisses she and Harry had shared throughout the day. Ron didn't need details on that.

"Blimey!" Ron said loudly, as Hermione finished telling him the adventures of the day.

"Shhh," both Harry and Hermione told him.

"Keep your voice down," Harry added, "we don't need anyone coming in here wondering what we were saying."

Ron nodded, his ears turning a bit red. "Sorry, mate. But blimey! That's crazy stuff." He visually swallowed. "It really sounds like we have a war on our hands."

Hermione nodded solemnly. "There have been attacks on the colonies already. I left Marsious in charge and hopefully he can bring unity in my stead and stop the attacks. I'll have to check in once we get to Hogwarts and I have access to the Black Lake."

A rap sounded at the door before opening. It was Molly. "Time for bed, you lot." She shut the door behind her, surprising Hermione that she didn't shuttle her off immediately to the room she shared with Ginny.

Hermione got up and placed a kiss on Harry's cheek, Ron pointedly looking away.

"Goodnight, Harry, Ron,"

"G'night," they replied simultaneously. She walked up one story to her room and quietly slipped in as Ginny was already asleep. Changing and crawling underneath her covers, she willed her heart to stop beating so fast so she could fall asleep.

Soon, Christmas break was over and they were all returning to Hogwarts for the start of the new term. Once they were on the train, Hermione brought up Occlumency.

"Harry, are you ready to start the Occlumency lessons again? I am sure Professor Snape could have us do them under the guise of detentions like he did last term."

Harry shook his head. "To be honest, Hermione, I don't think I will be taking Occlumency back up, I go to bed with nightmares every night because of it. I think it just makes them worse."

"Harry, you need to try, please!" She knew it was coming. He had dropped several hints over break that he wasn't interested in continuing, but she was growing frustrated.

"Hermione, I have tried and it isn't working. Please stop bugging me about it."

She huffed. "Fine, but when Voldemort invades your mind and makes you see some false memories, don't complain to me." She stood up and grabbed her cloak. "I need some fresh air. I'll catch up with you guys later."

Hermione placed her cloak around her shoulders and left the two boys behind in the compartment. She wandered to the back of the train and stepped out to get some fresh air. Finally, she could think.

Why was Harry being so stubborn? Didn't he see that it could be detrimental to the war if Voldemort's side found out about her being a mermaid? This wasn't just about him, it was about her too, especially now that she was the Daughter of the Sea. Voldemort would either try to destroy her or collect her for his own purposes — there was no telling which. And that brought her to the dreams Harry was having and how he was seeing things inside of Voldemort's head. There were so many questions, and few answers. Perhaps she should ask Professor Snape if he had a theory — he had seen inside Harry's head after all.

Hermione stood out there a bit longer, wrapping her cloak around her tightly as the wind picked up. She was likely to get wind burn, but the feel of it hitting her face calmed her. Only when the outside lights came on did she make her way back to the compartment.

When she appeared, the boys had already changed into their robes. Harry and Ron stopped their conversation, but she blatantly ignored them. She wasn't angry any longer, but still a little frustrated and upset — she just didn't understand Harry's reasoning. Hermione opened her trunk to get her own uniform and robes, and walked back out to change in the girls lavatory. Quickly she shed her Muggle clothes, knowing they were nearing Hogwarts. Throwing on her uniform, she straightened her tie before pulling on her robes. Carefully, she folded up her jeans and jumper and made her way back to the compartment.

"Hermione?" Harry asked quietly, as she put away her clothes and switched out her shoes.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I don't want you to be mad—" Hermione held up a hand to interrupt him before he continued.

"I'll stop you right there, I'm not so much as mad as frustrated and upset about the situation."

Ron jumped in. "Blimey, that's way worse! It's like when mum says she's not mad, just really disappointed." He pulled at his collar. "Just thinking about those words, gives me chills."

Hermione pursed her lips and looked out the window. The train was slowing down. "We can talk later, we've just arrived in Hogsmeade." Hermione picked up a book and made her way out of the compartment to wait by the door until the train had completely stopped before exiting. She found Neville, Luna, and the Weasley twins right away and together they jumped in one of the first carriages up to the castle.

"Where's our loving brother and Harry at?" Fred asked.

She shrugged. "Probably wondering where I am."

"Have a row, did'ya?" George asked.

"You know, Georgie, I reckon they did. Ickle-Ronni-kins can't keep his foot from being lodged in his mouth. He's constantly saying something that at least one person disapproves of."

Hermione laughed and shook her head. "Believe it or not, it wasn't Ron I was having the row with, though he wasn't helping."

"Harry then?" Neville asked, hopping into the conversation. "Whatever for?"

"I don't really want to get into it. But it's not like we haven't gotten into a row before, remember third year?"

"All of us remember that year. You and Ron were constantly at each other's throats and then the deal with the Firebolt," George said. "Right shame they had to strip down the broom. At least he got it back."

Hermione pursed her lips and looked at them. "Well, yes, I still stand by my decision to let McGonagall know. Harry could have been seriously injured and—"

"We know, Hermione," Fred said, rolling his eyes. "It's fine, really. It was ages ago." George nodded in agreement.

Hermione nodded and folded her hands in her lap. She looked out the window as Hogwarts neared. It was always breathtaking, no matter how many times she had seen it over the past five years. As the carriage came to a stop, Neville jumped out first, holding the door open for the rest as they ran into the castle before the wind could blow them away.

It was warm and toasty in the Great Hall and her mood improved considerably with a full stomach. She was polite and courteous during dinner to Harry and Ron, though nothing beyond that. Their row was something that she would prefer to think on more and bring up tomorrow. A good night's sleep would do them all good.

Excusing herself, Hermione made her way up to Gryffindor tower. She wasn't in a hurry, enjoying the time to herself.

"Hermione! Hermione!" She turned and saw Harry several staircases below running. "Hermione!"

She stayed put until he reached her and then began walking again.

"Wait, Hermione," he said, puffing out air, trying to catch his breath. He had his hand over his chest as if that would calm his heartbeat.

She stopped again and turned to him. Looking around and seeing no one but a few gossipy portraits, she pulled him into an empty classroom. As she shut the door behind her, Harry began to speak, but she wasn't having it.

"Harry, I don't really want to continue having this conversation this evening when we are already both on edge. And really, I don't see the point in wanting to continue fighting over something that neither of us are ever going to agree on."

Harry reached back and ruffled his hair. "I just—I just don't want you to be angry with me. I know you don't understand it which is why you are frustrated, but these dreams...they get worse with Occlumency. My mind feels weak and vulnerable after Snape is digging around in there. I have far worse dreams than normal. I just can't take it anymore."

Hermione's heart lurched when she saw him duck his head and swipe at his face, wiping tears away. Their fight, or argument, or whatever it was seemed so insignificant now that Harry had opened up to her. She lurched into his arms and wrapped her arms around his middle. He didn't hesitate to do the same.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his chest. "I shouldn't have pushed you. I shouldn't—"

"It's okay." He ran his fingers across the back of her head and down her curls, a comforting gesture. "I mean, you didn't know."

She looked up at him. "Will you at least promise me that you'll think about it? Take your time and really think about the pros and cons of continuing or discontinuing Occlumency."

Harry nodded briefly. "Fine," he exhaled. "But no promises."

"No promises," she echoed, smiling at him. Now that she thought about it, she was happy they had this discussion now, rather than tomorrow. Now it was a product of the past, for now. Harry bent down and pressed a kiss to her lips. He moved one hand to her waist and the other to her neck. She deepened the kiss, and soon, their tongues were entwined.

Finally, they broke apart when they heard students out in the corridor. "As much as I would like to continue this, we better get to the common room before curfew."

Hermione smirked. "Well, I don't have any homework so you think we can makeout on the sofa in front of the fire when everyone else goes to bed?"

Harry grinned. "Sounds like a perfect makeup from a fight to me." She grasped his hand and pulled him from the room. Maybe she could convince him to fall asleep on the sofa again as well, not only because she wanted to sleep next to him, but because she knew it would keep the nightmares away.

The weeks passed. Umbridge was still a toad, Harry was still refusing to do Occlumency, and their course load was getting more and more difficult with their O. just a few months away. Dumbledore's Army had also resumed, Harry teaching them what they weren't learning in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Overall, it wasn't bad, especially when Hermione had been expecting much worse.

On Valentine's Day, she and Harry had planned to go into Hogsmeade on a date. But what Harry didn't know, was that she had arranged to meet both Luna and an infamous Daily Prophet reporter with a bad reputation. But it was for a good cause, and would hopefully help them in getting the word out about Voldemort's return.

It was bound to be an interesting day.

"So, where should we go next?" Harry said, blowing into his hands. They had already been to Zonko's Joke Shop, Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, and Honeydukes and were laden down with their purchases.

"Well, I was thinking about going to the Three Broomsticks. I promised to meet up with Luna, what do you say?"

"I could definitely go for a Butterbeer, it's freezing out here."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I told you to dress warmer and wear your gloves!"

Harry shrugged. "Who wants to be outside in February, anyway? I don't plan on spending much more time out here, let's go."

They trekked against the wind and into the Three Broomsticks. Hermione saw Luna in the back corner, a matching platinum blonde woman across from her.

"Want to get us a few butterbeers, while I go get our seats?" She reached in her bag and pulled out a few coins, but Harry waved them away. "I don't want that. I got it." He pressed a kiss against her forehead and Hermione smiled as he walked up to the counter to get Madam Rosmerta's attention.

Hermione weaved in and out of the other patrons —students, residents, and professors to reach the table Luna had chosen. It was perfect, secluded from the rest of the room, guaranteeing a bit of privacy.

"Hi Luna," Hermione said, giving the girl a hug. She looked to her left and inclined her head in greeting. "Rita."

"Miss Granger," the woman said, her voice icy and full of hatred.

Hermione shook her head. "Rita, Rita, Rita, you would have thought that in the past year since our last meeting that you would have learned to be a little bit more polite. Now Harry will be over here in a moment and I suggest you swallow what pride you have left and be kind. He won't stand for it, and neither will I. I'll happily turn you in, remember?"

Rita visibly swallowed and nodded briefly.

"Hermione, here is your butter—" Harry stopped abruptly at seeing Rita Skeeter sitting there. "Uh, Hermione? Is there a reason that you are sitting with Rita Skeeter? In fact, why is she here at all?"

Hermione patted the seat next to her and Luna. "Sit, we'll explain before we get started." Harry took the seat offered to him and Hermione smiled. It was far enough away from Rita and so that they could hold him back should he decide to lunge across the table at her.

"Luna, why don't you start? Rita, here, needs to be informed of the plan as well."

Luna ran her fingers through her hair as she talked. "My father and I, of course, believe Harry's story about You-Know-Who. So since the Daily Prophet refuses to post the truth about what happened last summer during the tournament, he has agreed to give up this month's slot to telling the truth."

"So let me get this straight," Rita started. "You want me to interview Harry Potter and publish it in The Quibbler?"

"Exactly," Hermione said. "That is, if Harry is up for it?"

She looked to him and he looked a bit shocked at the information they had just revealed.

"Harry?" Hermione asked again. "What do you say?"

"Okay, I'm in. But Rita, you are not allowed to use your quick quotes quill and you have to publish everything exactly as I say."

Hermione grinned. "Don't worry Harry, Luna and I have everything under control."

And they did. Less than two weeks later the interview was published in The Quibbler, not a word out of place. Rita had followed through on the deal and was to continue to do so until the end of June, under threat of Hermione turning her in to the proper authorities. She knew the unregistered animagus didn't want that.

Hermione smiled; her plan was working. Several people had already come up to Harry and apologized for calling him a liar, including Seamus. The euphoria was short lived however when Educational Decree #27 was released stating that The Quibbler had been banned and anyone found in possession could be expelled. Of course, the student body had clever ways of hiding the magazine, including within the pages of their Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks... an improvement to that book, if you asked Hermione.

The next morning, Hermione was sitting in her little corner of the common room, getting some studying in before breakfast. She had started avoiding the Great Hall except at meal times because Umbridge wouldn't stop staring at her and Harry — it was distracting to say the least.

Her mind wandered to the colony in Greece and how they were doing. Perhaps she should dive into the Black Lake soon and visit, just in case. It couldn't hurt. Though she would have to plan it carefully, otherwise she might get caught. She was jolted out of her thoughts by Harry stumbling down the stairs from the boys' dormitory.

"Harry?" she asked, rushing up to grab him before he fell over. "Are you alright?"

Harry shook his head. Hermione noticed he had dark circles under his eyes, the green a bit more dull than normal.

"Come over here and sit." Hermione guided him to the sofa. "Now, tell me what is wrong. What happened?"

His eyes darted around the room and Hermione watched as he visibly relaxed seeing no one else around. "Well, uh, you know those dreams I was telling you about?"

Hermione nodded and swallowed. Her heart dropped. She had known this was going to happen, but she wasn't going to bother him about it right at this moment.

"Well, last night I dreamed that I-I was Voldemort again."

"Like you did the night that Mr Weasley was attacked?"

Harry nodded. "Except this time, I was Voldemort and he was questioning some bloke. I think his name was Rookwood. That's what I—I mean that's what Voldemort called him."

"Rookwood, Rookwood, have you heard that name before?"

Harry nodded again. "When I fell into the pensieve in Dumbledore's office, the time I watched Barty Crouch Jr be arrested for his crimes. Well, Igor Karkoroff was listing names and he mentioned this Rookwood guy. Apparently he worked in the Department of Mysteries."

Hermione frowned. So Harry was seeing things through Voldemort's head as he was talking to his Death Eaters. "What was Voldemort telling Rookwood? Anything important?"

Harry shook his head. "I think he was just questioning him. Something in the Department of Mysteries." He looked at her. "I think the corridor I have been dreaming of is in the Department of Mysteries. There's something in there and he wants it."

"The weapon Sirius wanted?"

Harry shrugged. "It's a possibility, but I don't know. I forget the dreams so quickly after having them that I could be missing some information."

"Harry—"

"Hermione, if you are going to tell me to go to Professor Snape again and ask for Occlumency lessons, forget it. The dreams were worse."

"But Harry, you could stop them completely."

"It's too late. I want to know what's behind the door and maybe we could stop him from getting whatever it is."

Hermione shook her head in exasperation. "Fine, but at least try to clear your head each night before you fall asleep. It has to help."

Harry nodded though Hermione knew deep down that he wouldn't. He was as stubborn as they come.

"Come on," Hermione said as several Gryffindors started trekking through the common room. "Let's get some breakfast."

She held Harry's hand all the way down to the Great Hall and only breaking off as soon as they reached it, not wanting a detention for something so silly. Hermione made sure Harry ate, but in her opinion, he didn't eat enough. If something didn't happen soon, he was going to be consumed by these dreams. She wouldn't put it past him to go after what Voldemort was after. It just added onto what they were already dealing with. Perhaps she could sneak some Dreamless Sleep into his pumpkin juice in the evenings? She shook her head. For once, she was at a loss. There came a point where you couldn't help someone who didn't want to be helped… and Harry was nearing that point.

Thank you to HeartOfAspen for alpha/beta help!