Naraku's Phoenix: Thank you all, again, for reading, reviewing, and critiquing my story! After a 2.5 year absence, I finally returned to writing fan fiction. But as far as this story goes…until I started reposting back in December, it's been six years since I've worked on this story. During that gap I was struggling academically, financially, and professionally, and while I'm still actually struggling with all of those things, I finally have my creative spark back. So for me to be able to continue this story, and share it with all of you, is really special to me.

And while I'm pleased to have provided relatively quick updates for these past few chapters, I'm back in school, right now, so I'm going to drop off the grid here and there. But I'll be around! If you're interested in keeping up with me outside of fan fiction, I've added links to my cosplay and artist alley pages in my profile! I'll also try and post periodic "status" updates at the bottom of my profile when there's a long gap between chapters.

I've had a slew of Guest reviews, recently, which were all amazing and made me sad because I couldn't reply to you, but in regards to Ms. Alice I'd recommend setting up an account on here so you can add this story to your Alert list. This way, you'll get an email that notifies you when I update, and even if you don't write it's a great way to collect all your favorite stories and authors. I've been in your shoes! It can get pretty tense to check up on a story, daily, to see if it's been updated.

Fun fact: A lot of my ideas stem from listening to music. The next few chapters, in particular, were inspired by listening to Creature Feature's new album, "American Gothic," on repeat, as well as the Donnie Darko OST. Give those a whirl, and if you can recommend more music that fits in with that type of mood just send it my way, please and thank you.

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Chapter 22: Shadows in the Mind

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"Psst…have you heard about the Fujioka family?"

"I heard their daughter ran away."

"I heard she fell in the river and drowned."

"I heard she offed herself."

"Poor Kotoko. At least she has another child to keep her busy."

"Ryouji must be devastated."

"Hey, did you hear?"

"I heard Ryouji kicked her out."

"Her parents couldn't support her once the baby came."

"They must've sold her into marriage."

"…"

"Did you hear about that Arai boy?"

"I heard he was driven to madness with grief."

"I heard he was the last one to see Haruhi."

"All he does, anymore, is draw cats and that poor girl's face."

"Do you think he had something to do with her disappearance?"

"Shouldn't we have a trial?"

"Her parents don't seem concerned."

"Were they in on it, too?"

"How horrible."

These were the sort of rumors that flitted about the village over the next few weeks. Weeks turned into months. And, soon, the topic was more or less old news. Isao's inquiries to the other villages turned up empty, and it was getting harder and harder to reassure the Fujiokas of his optimism and support. Nekozawa hadn't made another trip since the last one, and that alone made Isao a little uneasy. What could the black wizard be up to, now? He was hoping their paths might cross naturally so he wouldn't have to risk the consequences of intentionally seeking him out. Isao didn't think he could afford the price of that meeting.

While everyone offered their condolences, the majority of the village didn't seem terribly disturbed by Haruhi's sudden disappearance or had bothered to give it more than a passing thought. They were, after all, a village near the woods. It was not uncommon for a wolf to carry away stragglers in the middle of the night. These things happened, and it was best not to dwell on them. The most one could do in these situations was offer sympathy and learn to be more careful, themselves. Sorrows come and go, but the world doesn't stop for one person's tragedy, and crying about it won't help feed the family. So, as expected, the Fujiokas' neighbors saw Ryouji and Kotoko push on.

Arai, in his retarded state, dragged an aura of depression behind him. His performance around his family's farm declined, but it was the only thing that would get him out of the house. After a while, no one seemed interested in his grief-driven charades, and he took to drawing as an outlet. His skill and precision as an artist had become fine-tuned, and his drawings were almost beautiful if not for the morbidity in which he displayed his recurring subject matter: Haruhi. Sometimes it was a simple portrait of her, but other times she was cut in half with a black cat feeding on her entrails. Lately, however, his depictions of her were becoming more perverse and provocative. His latest pieces included Haruhi on her hands and knees, in tattered clothing with an exposed breast and a wolf on top of her, taking a bite out of her throat. Another one featured Haruhi fully nude, her head thrown back in pleasure while she straddled the hips of a horned, scaly demon. Too much of a coward, or perhaps, now, too dumb, the boy hadn't tried ending his life to escape his misery and guilt. Instead, he kept on drawing as if he was punishing himself.

But really, he was angry. Angry that she was taken from him. Angry that she left him. Angry that she might have found a better lover in the devil than in him. This was all speculation, of course, but as far as he was concerned, every day she was missing made her more tainted. Whether that was actually true didn't matter. She was the reason for his misfortune. Once upon a time, he saw a future with Haruhi. They grew up together, and their families were very close. He just sort of assumed they would get married, one day; in fact, he'd already planned to ask for her hand later in the year. But now, all of that was thrown out the window. It was her fault he was cursed. And who would want a mute retard for a husband, anyway? Sitting in his room, Arai started another sketch. The sound of charcoal scratching against parchment was pleasing to his ears and made him feel content. This was his release.

The imagination can run wild when left unchecked, and since the day he lost his voice his imagination was the only one he could talk to or find counsel with.

The next time Arai saw Haruhi - if he ever did - she would know just how much pain he was in.

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It had nearly been six months, now, since Haruhi came to live with Nekozawa. In that time she had scrubbed his house, kept after his farm, and read almost every book she could get her hands on. Haruhi had gotten used to life with Nekozawa, as unconventional as it was.

Haruhi remembered the fist time she saw Nekozawa. She and the other children were playing in the mud by the pond to keep cool. The adults went about their routines like normal, but she remembered seeing them gossip more than usual. They walked around with frowns, and fear laced their hushed tones. At some point, Haruhi stopped what she was doing and directed her attention off into the distance. A shadow was walking toward them. The other children noticed as well, as if there was a shift in the air or some magnetic force feeding off of their concentration. Quickly, the children trampled over one another to climb the big tree beside them.

As the shadow came closer, Haruhi realized it was a person. The stranger pulled a cart with a squeaky wheel, behind him, and he was given wide berth by the villagers. The children watched him while he made his rounds, exchanging gold and silver for bread and livestock.

~*Flashback*~

"What's wrong with him?" asked Arai, "Why's nobody talking?"

"My dad said he's gonna help us with the central kingdom. Taxes are high, again," said Mei.

"What do they need more gold for, anyway? Isn't the king rich?'"replied Arai.

"I dunno," said Mei, "but my dad says we've got a lot of problems, and that man can fix 'em. People have been coming to our house all week to argue with my dad, though. Apparently, that man's some kind of wizard, and they didn't like that."

"A wizard! He's not gonna hurt us, is he?" asked Arai.

"Not all wizards are bad," said Haruhi, "Besides, if Mei's dad let him in he must be good."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The three children stayed in that tree until the shadow wizard made his departure. They watched him walk until he disappeared beneath the trees.

That night, Ryouji and Kotoko sat down with Haruhi and talked to her. They told her they were going to breed more chickens to sell, and she would need to wake up early, with her father, to help build another coop.

"Will the wizard come to visit us?" she asked. Both of her parents looked taken aback, then nervous.

"Where did you hear that, sweetie?" said Kotoko.

"From Mei. We watched him while he walked around town, today."

"Haruhi," said Ryouji, "I want you to listen to me - it's very important, alright?" Haruhi nodded and he continued, "There is a wizard who will be visiting our village from time to time, and he'll be the one buying most of our chickens. It's hard to say how often he'll visit, but when he does I need you to stay as far away from him as you can. He's bad luck, Haruhi. He's not a good man. Stay FAR away from him. Understand?"

"Yes, Papa."

~*End Flashback*~

From that moment onward, Haruhi was taught to be frightened of Nekozawa and remain cautious of him. To an extent, she understood why her parents wanted her to think this way, but at the same time she didn't want to think badly of a stranger she never spoke with. It felt wrong. Even so, after every time she laid eyes on him, she could hear her father's words ringing in her mind, "STAY AWAY." She was taught to fear Nekozawa, and so she did. Too bad that fear wasn't strong enough to overcome the fear of losing her mother.

Haruhi was lying on the floor in the living room with a quill and a stack of parchment. She stared at Nekozawa who was reading a book in his chair. He looked calm and focused, his soft blond hair and gorgeous blue eyes giving the impression that he was anything but deadly. He looked so…normal. Seeing him in these moments, it was almost hard to imagine she had ever been scared of him.

Almost.

One time, Haruhi walked in on Nekozawa, after he'd disappeared into the washroom for a few hours, and found him rolling around the floor speaking in tongues. She caught one glimpse of soulless, solid black eyes and ran outside to hide in the barn, overnight. That was all she needed to remind herself who this man was at the end of the day - a vessel who was wrought with wickedness and hungry for misfortune. This was the moment when she made more of an effort to distance herself from him; or, rather, that's what she kept telling herself. There was another mental dilemma she was struggling with.

Now, Haruhi was typically indifferent when it came to a person's sex. She valued character and quality over looks and charm, all the while preaching that men and women were both humans of the same being who should be looked upon by one another, equally. So when she departed from her village, that night, she simply left with another person - another human with whom she shared the earth. Perhaps one who indulged in sinister forces and shared his body with darkness, but a human nonetheless. That was then. Now, when she looked at Nekozawa, she didn't see just another human being. She saw a man. And that scared her more than Bereznoff or witchcraft ever could.

She discovered that she liked watching him. The way his muscles flexed when he worked outside. The sexy way he cupped his chin when he read a book. The way little droplets of water would cling to his skin after a bath. The subtle way his eyes flickered when he looked at her. With each passing day, Haruhi was becoming progressively aware that he was a man…and that she was a woman. If only he knew how much he was making her body ache.

But for now, at least, she hoped he never would. For all the time she spent with him she still couldn't give a solid definition of their relationship. Nekozawa wasn't a very social person, and spent the majority of his time cooped up with her, restocking his inventory and preparing for winter. Of the few times they did venture out of the swamp, together, it was to gather resources or trade vegetables at a market in the next town over. Even then, she never saw him openly converse with anyone or give any sort of indication that he had friends. Everywhere they went he donned a different identity, each one hidden under a robe with the same fake smile plastered on his face. Some things overlapped, like his name or profession, but he made it a point to remain aloof and detached with outsiders.

So she began to wonder if his feelings toward her were misguided. At home, Nekozawa made it perfectly clear that he was both physically and emotionally attracted to her, even though he never directly said so. Haruhi wasn't stupid. If anything, she was overly practical. Someone kissing you, loving you, simply because you're the only other person in the room didn't set well with Haruhi. She was ready to admit that a physical attraction existed, but she wasn't ready to commit to one. Especially not when she felt like they would be settling for each other out of convenience. Whenever he tried to kiss her, Haruhi would play dumb to evade him. She'd pretend she'd heard a noise or that she needed to go outside; feign sleepiness or initiate a cough or sneeze. This didn't always work, however, but she always found a way to stop him before they went too far.

That didn't mean she wouldn't allow herself to admire him from afar, though. Like she was doing, now. At this very moment.

"Kitten, is there something you'd like to tell me?" Nekozawa's voice snapped Haruhi out of her thoughts. "You've been staring at me for a while, now, do you need help?" Haruhi blushed.

"Not at the moment, Neko-sensei. I was just taking a break," said Haruhi, abruptly returning to her transcripts. A few moments passed, and then...

"You're doing it, again." said Nekozawa. He smiled and put his book down on the table. "Come on, out with it. What are you thinking about?"

Haruhi worked quickly to compose herself.

"I was just wondering…," she began.

"Yes?"

"Have you had any other apprentices besides me?" asked Haruhi.

"A few," replied Nekozawa, "but only you and one other have managed to stick around, this long. But even he left before fully completing his training."

"Why did he leave?" asked Haruhi.

"Well, I suppose that when it came down to it he realized that my ways weren't the most healthy for him, and he wasn't meant to follow in my footsteps. He's still around, though, and we've remained good friends." Nekozawa smiled to himself in quiet admiration."I think the two of you would get along well. Just not too well, I hope," he joked. Haruhi suddenly erupted in a fit of laughter. He scowled. "And what, exactly, is so funny about that?"

"Forgive me, sensei" said Haruhi, "It's just that, well, we've spent so much time here I was convinced you were a reclusive shut-in with no friends. But it's good to know that you have them. It reminds me that you're human."

Nekozawa dropped his voice to a more sultry level, "Oh, I'm most certainly a human, Kitten. Perhaps one with an extra voice in his head, but a human." He winked and Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"How is Bereznoff, these days?" she asked, "He hasn't tried talking to me for a few months, now. If not for your ritual nights, I wouldn't have known he was still here."

"I think he's finally learned to behave himself," said Nekozawa. Bereznoff proceeded to stick his tongue out at him.

Later that night, Nekozawa had a dream.

He was lying in a grassy field, stretched out on his back. There was a gentle breeze rolling about, bringing the scent of fresh lemons along for the ride. It was bright and sunny - Nekozawa felt at peace. He took a deep breath, which was promptly knocked out of him by a giggling ball of energy that tackled his side. He cracked a smile and scooped the little blonde girl into his arms.

"Are you tired, already?!" she complained.

"Aren't you?" he replied.

"No!"

Nekozawa chuckled. "I'm not young like you, anymore. It's hard for me to keep up, sometimes." He unfolded his embrace and tapped her nose with his fingertip. The little girl threw her arms in the air.

"But you're a grownup! Grownups can do anything!"

"Oh, how I wish that were true, little one," he said, "BUT ALAS! The gods of time and nature have forsaken this weary old man's body and doomed it to a future of lackluster frolicsomeness!" Nekozawa raised his arms to the sky and fell back to the earth in the most melodramatic way possible. He drew his cape up around his torso, in the process, and hid himself beneath it.

"Well, that's no fun! You know what? I decided not to grow up after all." The little girl crossed her arms and huffed. Nekozawa lifted his cape to meet her frustrated gaze.

"Promise?" he asked. He watched his tiny companion tilt her head to the side and furrow her brow. She sighed.

"You're weird, Daddy."

"But you still love me, right?"

"Yes!" The bubbly little girl threw her arms around Nekozawa's neck. As he embraced her, he looked up and locked eyes with a perfect mirror image of himself standing across the field; or rather, a perfect mirror image except for the eyes. Bereznoff glared at him. Ignoring his specter, Nekozawa stood and grasped his daughter's hand and walked home.

A jolt in his chest made Nekozawa snap his eyes open. The sudden change in scenery made his breathing uneven, and as he sought to control it he focused on his surroundings. It was dark - still in the middle of the night. The dry warmth of the sun that felt so real only a moment ago was replaced with a layer of cold sweat. Haruhi was snoozing peacefully in her own bed, undisturbed. Nekozawa quickly tried to recapture his thoughts before they floated away.

A daughter. He had a daughter. But why? What did it mean? He'd never dreamt of children, before, aside from his younger sister, and the last time he did that was a long time ago. He rolled over on his side to face Haruhi and stared until his eyes adjusted and could see the outline of her resting figure. He thought back to a conversation they had before he left on his most recent trip to her village.

To help sever ties with her old life, and to perhaps ease her feeling of loneliness, he had offered to give her a child that would occupy her thoughts and time. Admittedly, he was still a little hot and bothered from the night before when Mother Nature didn't allow him to finish what he started. He was craving intimacy and there was something about Haruhi that unlocked and drove that craving since the night she came to him. It was small, at first, but the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted her and...the more he feared being rejected by her. He didn't like that feeling.

Quickly, Nekozawa pushed away those thoughts and retreated to the fantasy world where he had a beautiful blonde baby girl that he played with in the sunshine. And, in turn, he thought of a certain brunette woman who would play with him in the moonlight.

Bereznoff scoffed.

'People like you aren't allowed happy endings.'