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Chapter 23: Options

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Summer was drawing to an end, and with every passing day Ryouji felt a little piece of him die, inside. He'd fallen into depression, and had it not been for his wife and baby he wasn't sure he'd bother getting up in the morning. Kotoko walked around and conducted her daily routine in a similar lackadaisical fashion. Of course, their new child had brought them happiness, but instead of enjoying the moment they flooded themselves with guilt. Who were they to be happy when their only daughter might be suffering at that very moment? Though Ryouji had come to terms with his physical limitations, he wasn't using that as an excuse to not try something. Anything. So that night, after his initial meeting with Isao, Ryouji made a promise that he would hire the best of the best to find his daughter and bring back that bastard's head, for good measure. Both he and his wife started taking on odd jobs for extra coin, which were all carefully stored and hidden beneath the floor for safe keeping. Ryouji, sitting by himself in the kitchen, twiddled a silver shilling between his fingers while mulling over his latest thoughts.

The day Nekozawa returned to their village almost shattered him. It took all of Ryouji's willpower not to strike him down, right there; or, well, at least try to strike him, anyway. And then he listened to that piece of filth make that derogatory comment toward his daughter:

'I can't help but wonder where your lovely daughter is, today. I assume you finally married her off? She's at that age, you know. What a shame, had I known she was leaving so soon I would've made more trips down here. You never know; it could've been me keeping her warm in my bed…'

Just thinking about it made his stomach twist and his insides bubble with rage. Worst of all, it made him start to second guess his accusations.

Nekozawa, after all, wasn't the first man to heckle his daughter or make innuendos toward her. While it was true that most families married their daughters off when they were 14, Ryouji wanted to keep Haruhi as long as he could for no man could ever love her more than he did. Now 16, Haruhi was still a child in his eyes, but to everyone else she was a blossoming woman and it killed Ryouji to think that his little girl might leave him, soon. When he walked past her currently empty room, however, he found himself wishing he and Kotoko put more effort into finding her a husband. The Arai boy was a promising suitor, but now it was too late. Sighing, Ryouji lifted the loose floorboard beneath his feet and added the shilling he was playing with to the lumpy purse.

'One way or another…someone will bring you back to us,' he thought, 'Please be safe, wherever you are.'

As soon as Ryouji replaced the floorboard there was a knock at his door. He was a little surprised when he saw that it was Arai's father, Kenji.

"Hello, Ryouji," he said, "…is Kotoko home?"

"No. She took the baby for a play date with one of our friends."

"Uh…good," said Kenji, "Mind if I come in?" Ryouji stepped aside and motioned for him to enter.

"So what brings you out here?" he asked after shutting the door, even though he already had an inkling of what the topic might be.

"Well, I'm just going to come right out and say it," said Kenji, "It's my boy. I…I think he's too far gone, now. I wasn't sure what to think - or believe - after the first few days, but it's been months. He's stopped trying to communicate with us. The schoolteacher hasn't been able to restore his speech or writing. His drawings have become frightening, and he doesn't even try to hide them, anymore. He's making his mother cry and I can't stand to bear it, any longer." Kenji removed the satchel from his shoulder and hesitated before opening it. "Given the nature of his condition," he continued, "I beg you not to strike him after you see what I'm about to show you. I don't even think he feels fear, anymore." Taking a deep breath, Kenji pulled a stack of paper from the satchel and set it on the table, between them. Slightly frowning, Ryouji started flipping through the papers.

The first picture was a delicate portrait of Haruhi. Her hair was pinned in an up-do decorated with pearls and jewels. Her eyes were missing, pitch black and hollow.

The second picture was of a bride and groom. Their faces were scratched out.

The third picture was of Haruhi wrapped in a sheet with her hair down. Behind her was a man who had snakelike skin and the face of a cat.

The fourth picture was of a hooded black figure pleasuring Haruhi with a bloodied knife.

Ryouji stopped there. He couldn't go on.

"Why are you showing me these?"

"Because Isao, too, has dismissed my accusations toward the black wizard. And he doesn't care that my son died a long time ago. I'm tired of him ignoring this. I want us to take matters into our own hands." The two sat in silence for a moment.

"I agree," said Ryouji, "Kotoko and I have been saving money to hire a knight."

"A knight?"

"Yes, because as much as it pains me Isao did say some truths when I confronted him with my suspicions. We don't know where that bastard lives, if he even has a home…and I don't think I could bear it to find my daughter broken and crying, firsthand. I need to be strong for Kotoko. She needs to know everything will be alright."

"Everything won't be alright," said Kenji, "It already isn't. Naoko wants to take our son and move in with my mother. She lives further inland, close to the central kingdom. The monks, there, might have something to heal his mind, but at this point I think it's hopeless. Like I said, my son died a long time ago. I want to avenge him, and I want to avenge your daughter. I need peace of mind, and I know you do, too. That's why I came here."

Ryouji mulled over his options. He wanted nothing more than to drive a dagger into Nekozawa's heart, but there was also no guarantee that Haruhi was with him. There was, however, more evidence against the black wizard regarding Arai. Ryouji had a strong feeling that solving one mystery might lead to solving another.

"Then let's work together," he said, "But we must be discreet!"

"Of course," said Kenji. And he motioned to return Arai's pictures to the satchel. Ryouji stopped him.

"Leave them, please," he said. Kenji nodded in understanding and left the papers where they were.

"Right. I'll see you, later, then?"

"Yes. Until then."

The two men said goodbye and Kenji departed. Ryouji walked over to Arai's pictures, tore the stack in half, and tossed them into the fireplace. He lit a fire and left the room.

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Back at the enchanted swamp, Haruhi was in a fist fight with Nekozawa. Well, he called it sparring, but she was clearly at a disadvantage. Never before had she experienced such exhaustion and strain. The energy put toward their fight wasn't something she could evenly distribute throughout the day - it was sudden, urgent, immediate. Haruhi desperately wanted to give in and quit, but Nekozawa wouldn't let her.

"Would you please tell me, again, why I'm doing this?" she asked in between pants.

"Magick is as much a physical feat as it is a mental one," he explained, "We have to keep your body in shape to be able to handle any side effects. And besides," he added, "I thought you wanted to learn everything the boys in your village were learning, too?"

Haruhi groaned. It was true.

'Though I didn't think that would include fighting and wrestling!' she hastily thought.

While Haruhi was blossoming as a magick-user, in general, she was still far off in her training. Her abilities were subtle, of course, but she had graduated from theory to practice much faster than Nekozawa anticipated. It all started one night when Haruhi surprised them both by accidentally lighting a candle. She and Nekozawa were having a heated debate about the best way to prepare a stew, and, frustrated, Haruhi threw a dirty look in his direction. That was when a literal flame erupted between them. She yelped and jumped back, and stared frightfully at the yellow-orange flame dancing on the wick of the candle sitting on the table. There was a moment of silence, and then Nekozawa scooped her in his arms and spun her around shouting with excitement and adoration. As much as she wanted to blame Nekozawa for what came next, the magick use is what made Haruhi dizzy and it took nearly an hour of rest for her to recover.

She was about to drag herself up for another bout when Nekozawa finally collapsed and said, "That's enough, for now. Let's take a break."

Haruhi never heard more beautiful words in her life. The two moved to sit on a stack of hay beside the water barrel outside the barn. They took turns with the ladle, slurping up the sweet liquid. Haruhi looked over Nekozawa. He was dirty and sweaty and cut in a few places - definitely worse for wear. If that's what Nekozawa, the pro, looked like, she shuddered to think how she looked. Nekozawa's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"There was a time," he said in between breaths, "when I could spar all day. I might be getting too old for this, after all," he laughed. Haruhi raised her brow.

"Oh? And how old are you, exactly?" she asked. He put on a thoughtful face.

"Hm, let's see," he said, "The warlord, Draco, had just completed his first successful invasion in the land of Chin approximately 5,000 years ago…"

He paused to look at Haruhi and grinned at his own joke. Haruhi didn't laugh, but she smiled along with him and rolled her eyes. Nekozawa took another drink of water and cleared his throat, "In all seriousness though, I do have a birthday coming up. I'll be 31, this year."

"Wow," said Haruhi, "You really are an old man, aren't you?" Nekozawa nudged her.

"Not that old," he protested.

"You're only a couple of years younger than my father," continued Haruhi, "I must look like such a child in your eyes." As the words left her mouth, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She learned to be casual around Nekozawa, and when she wasn't his student he treated her like an equal. She knew there was an age difference between them, but didn't know how much. Honestly, she didn't think she cared. That was until she heard the number slip through his lips. Haruhi was so distracted with these thoughts that she was caught off guard when Nekozawa placed his hand on top of hers.

"At one point, yes," he admitted, "but over the years I've watched you grow up, and you are anything but a child, now."

Haruhi felt herself tense up. Her heart raced faster, and a warmth wound through her insides like branches of water.

"Well, I mean, I never even left my village before I came here. There's still so much about the world I don't know."

There was moment of silence between them, and Nekozawa seemed deep in thought. During that pause Haruhi felt embarrassed for even telling him that. She was about to laugh it off and apologize for sounding silly when Nekozawa beat her to it.

"It's not winter, yet," he said, "How about we take a trip?"

Haruhi couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Wait…what?"

Nekozawa continued as if he didn't hear her.

"I'll make arrangements for the animals. Yes…this is actually good timing. It shouldn't be a problem, at all."

He pushed himself up, then helped Haruhi to her feet. He brought her hands together and clasped them.

"Let's take a trip," he repeated. And he flashed a smile that made her knees weak. His bright blue eyes latched onto her chocolate gaze, and in that moment she felt like he broke through some great barrier and touched her soul.

"…Ok…," she finally said. She smiled and laughed, nervously. Nekozawa gave her hands a squeeze and kissed her on the forehead before running off to conduct whatever preparations he needed to perform.

'What did I just get myself into?' she thought.

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That night, as Nekozawa began to snooze, a familiar dream picked up where it left off.

Approaching the edge of the forest, Nekozawa and his little girl arrived at their home. Another girl, much older and with brunette hair, was outside playing fetch with a sleek, black dog. The little blonde girl abandoned her father and ran up to them.

"Onee-chan, let me play, let me play!" She reached for the stick her sister held above her head. The brunette rolled her eyes.

"Hana, all you ever do is play! I've been chopping wood and dusting the house, all day - I just want to be left alone with my dog, now. I've earned it!"

"Ichigo's my dog, too!" yelled Hana.

"Puh-lease. Mom and Dad got him for ME way before you were ever born."

"Now, now, girls," said Nekozawa, "Be nice to one another. We wouldn't want your mother stressing and throwing me out of the house, again, would we?" Nekozawa smiled and addressed his eldest daughter, "Sakiko, is the coast clear?"

Sakiko sighed and rolled her eyes, "I guess so. For now. I don't remember her being this weird, last time."

"Trust me," said Nekozawa, "She was this weird every time, even with you. I'll tread lightly."

Before he walked toward the house, Nekozawa sensed an uneasiness behind him. He turned around, and saw Bereznoff standing behind him, glaring wordlessly at him. Bereznoff's eyes were full of anger, but they also held hints of sadness and desperation. It was a flavor Nekozawa was familiar with, but couldn't place. He broke eye contact with his specter and ignored him so he could continue his dream.

As Nekozawa entered his home, he was met with a warm glow and the scent of fresh flowers. He followed the warmth to the kitchen area where he smelled potatoes and saw them boiling in a cauldron in the fireplace. Near the fireplace was a woman with long, braided hair, like Sakiko's, sitting at the table . She paid no attention to him upon his entrance, and, instead, focused on furthering her needlepoint.

"Haruhi?" he said.

Haruhi stopped what she was doing and huffed. She followed up with an annoyed groan and then tears started to well up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, this morning. I don't know what came over me," she said, "Everything's been so stressful, lately."

"I understand," he replied, "and you know I would never intentionally upset you."

A soft smile spread across Haruhi's face as she dabbed her cheeks dry, and Nekozawa felt the inside of his chest melt. Delicately, Haruhi put aside her needlepoint and pushed away from the table to stand up. When she stood, Nekozawa was almost taken aback when he saw her very large, and very round stomach. Returning her smile he approached her, roving his hands across the barrier between him and his unborn child. He met Haruhi with a soft peck on the lips.

"Nothing is more beautiful," he said, "than the glow of my wife and a mother-to-be."

Haruhi laughed and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb across it. "It feels like another girl. Are you upset?"

Nekozawa kissed her, again, deeper this time, and replied.

"Never," he whispered. Nekozawa nipped her neck and nibbled her ear before taking her by the hand and leading her into their bedroom, all the while brushing past Bereznoff who reappeared beside him at their door. Bereznoff's eyes followed after Nekozawa, and he hissed and seethed while scraping his fingernails against the frame. The wood crinkled and crackled under the pressure.

A stabbing pain in Nekozawa's chest flung him out of his dreamscape. He glanced around the room and realized it was past sunrise. He looked over to the other side of the room and saw Haruhi was already up and about, having made her bed and was nowhere to be seen. He tried standing but the pain in his chest kept him down. Bereznoff's voice echoed in the back of his mind.

"Why are you waiting on her like a foolish, common man? Since when did the Great Nekozawa stop taking what he wanted, when he wanted? When was the last time he dreamt of conquered kingdoms, and driving fear and daggers through the hearts and skulls of his enemies?"

"..."

"The way you're fantasizing about her…you're acting as if you have a choice."

"Out with it, Bereznoff. I don't have all day," said Nekozawa.

"I don't like this effect she's having on you. I thought you were above this."

"Why should I be above my own happiness?"

"What about my happiness?!" yelled Bereznoff, "Am I such an insignificant part of your life, now, that you feel you can brush me aside and ignore me? To abandon your craft and calling just so you can play house? Things were fine before she came along. You need to keep your distance."

"That is not your decision to make."

"...She's changed you, and I don't like it."

"Is this why you've been ignoring her?"

Silence.

"Bereznoff?"

"…I don't want her changing me, too."

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Now, Nekozawa didn't know it, but Haruhi was confronted with her own inner desires, last night, too. Although, she wasn't thinking of settling down or having children.

Haruhi was in the washroom toweling off after a warm, lavender-scented bath. It was in this moment that she sensed a body moving behind her. Haruhi was about to wrap the towel around her torso when she felt this body pull her in for a hug from behind. She turned around and pulled her companion down into a deep, battling kiss, grasping fistfuls of silky blond hair. Soon, she and Nekozawa were on the floor. Her back arched and legs spread apart, wrapping them around his waist and begging for release. But she wasn't getting it, just yet. Nekozawa caressed her form and planted slow, sensual kisses trailing from her chest to her neck. Haruhi's head tilted back, and it was there that she saw Bereznoff standing over them with a dagger in his hand. She gasped and tried to alert Nekozawa, but when she looked back it was not Nekozawa she saw playing the attentive lover - it was Kaoru.

Haruhi jolted awake and felt anxiety seize her body.

'Where did that come from?!' she panicked. And she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Her skin was hot, but her face felt clammy and her hair was damp. She could feel her heart beating faster than it ever had. Her mind was reeling and she felt shame and guilt riddle her insides.

She really needed another woman to talk to.

Quietly, Haruhi gazed around their room. Nekozawa was still snoozing, and the sun had only just begun to peek over the horizon. Shakily, she pushed aside her covers and gingerly got out of bed. Grabbing a change of clothes she headed for the washroom to get ready for the day. She had a long list of chores she needed to keep herself busy and, most importantly, keep her mind occupied.

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Naraku's Phoenix: So for this chapter I wanted to highlight Haruhi's and Nekozawa's differences in how they view romantic relationships. Nekozawa is older, has more life experience, and is ready to settle down, get married, and have children. He's ready for a serious, committed, and emotionally stable relationship. On the flip side, Haruhi is younger and everything she's feeling is new and uncertain - hormones are winning out and because of the estrogen overload she's unintentionally more focused on, and interested in, the prospect of a physical relationship. While Nekozawa clearly placed Haruhi in his vision, Haruhi didn't fully reciprocate.

Another thing, I really want to keep this story rated T. This is both because of traffic reasons, and also because I want to keep myself on track with story development so there will be no citrus, for you! (Just a heads up.) But, even so, because of the nature of this story and some of the things I have planned for it there will be some sexy time and other mature-themed scenes. These scenes are unavoidable, but they won't be explicit. If any of you are familiar with the TV show "Vikings" on the History channel, that's the type of format I'll follow when writing those scenes. That show has a lot of sexy time (especially this season), but because it's on cable TV where anyone can stumble across it, they do a good job of keeping everything at a PG-13 level.

I want everyone to know that I struggled with defining Haruhi's and Nekozawa's ages. I didn't want Haruhi too old because it would've been odd for her, in this universe/time period, to not already have a husband. She was traveling down the path where Arai would inevitably propose to her, soon, so I knocked her age back a few years from what I originally would've liked. In Nekozawa's case, I didn't want him to be too young because I wanted him to have more experience (in both life and in magick) under his belt. Also, an older Nekozawa is essential to a future plot point. *cough cough hint hint* Take that as you will.

Some other things I want to address: in the reviews, more than one of you have mentioned that you'd like to see more of Haruhi's thoughts and feelings throughout the story. THANK YOU for pointing that out. I've been so caught up with Nekozawa's development that I almost completely neglected Haruhi's. Lol, this is why reviews are important - I might not have caught onto my mistake until much later. I am working on addressing that issue, now, before it's too late. There will be a future chain of events that are dependent on an active Haruhi.

Finally…I need a name for Haruhi's village. They're away from it often enough now I need to give it a proper name when I reference it. Please leave any suggestions in a review!

Thank you, everyone, for your reviews, kind words and critiques. I love reading your thoughts and interpretations, and they help me become a better writer.