Part Seven

SAKURA'S POV

I twirled the spoon in my coffee unfocused; this past weekend was overwhelmingly exhausting and didn't seem to be getting any easier. Shoda was quite persistent about Sasuke, he wanted to spend time with him but he didn't want to do it alone which meant that I had to tag along.

I know I shouldn't be bothered by it but I am, we didn't get to talk much about how we should go about visits with Shoda; he knows that this is where I live now and I know he lives hours away. He mentioned that he would be staying longer so we could talk without Shoda's little ears listening to our conversation; I hope he is going to be reasonable about visitations; I've had Shoda his whole life, his adjustment to Sasuke is going to take some time, plus he'd be a plane ride away from me.

I'm not even sure I can let him go.

This morning Shoda was attending his first day in Kindergarten, which was exciting for him because Sasuke actually got attend with us, it was so awkward. Our relationship didn't end well, and we didn't really 'start over' on a great note, it's kind of like we're strangers; we know each other but we don't – I know I have to separate ex-fiancé Sasuke from father Sasuke, I can't treat him badly for what he did to me in front of Shoda.

"There you are." I glanced up to see Sai sliding into the booth across from me, and I couldn't help but smile back at him, he's been real supportive about everything.

"You're late." I mocked.

"Aa, sorry, my surgery took longer than expected." He explained.

I rested my elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I guess I can't be upset since you're technically saving someone's life." I grinned as Sai chuckled lightly.

"Nonetheless, I apologize for making you wait."

I sipped my coffee, it was lukewarm but that's what I get for not paying attention to it earlier, I can feel Sai's eyes staring at me.

"What?" I asked, curiously.

"You want to talk about it?" I frowned into my coffee cup. "Sakura, you've always told me everything, don't stop now." He encouraged.

"I can't… I feel like it's not fair… to you." I couldn't think of any other way to word that, I shouldn't burden Sai with all of this especially if I wanted our 'private' relationship to continue.

"Why do you think that?" He asked as he sipped his own coffee.

"Do you honestly want to talk about Sasuke?"

"Honestly, no."

"See." I added.

"But, I know how you are and I know Ms. Senju is going to give you a hard time, Shizune is too forgiving and frankly you don't have anyone else but me." He finished with a smug smile.

I huffed, and stuck my tongue out at him. How annoying, but he's right - Naruto is out of the question, if it were up to him, Sasuke and I would have been married hours ago.

"Fine, when you put it like that I guess I don't have a choice but you can't be upset with what I have to say."

"Okay." He agreed, I looked him over for a moment - looking for any kind of protest but found none, so I started.

"We haven't discussed anything really, after that night of the banquet; he was more than upset which is understandable. When Shoda ran away the next morning it was only by sheer luck that the two of them met without me." Sai's eyes widened, "Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you! I came clean to Shoda that next morning and he ran away from me! Can you believe him? Scared me half to death, I searched everywhere for him but by a twist of fucking fate, Sasuke found him before I did."

"Karma." I pouted. "After I went into great detail about how Shoda's actions were not okay. We had breakfast together. It was uneventful, really, but sitting there at that table made me realize that this is my life now. I thought I left Sasuke behind for good but really I carried a piece of him with me, here. It's hard to be around him, I know I should let it go but I still feel so betrayed."

"At some point you have to let those feelings go, Sakura."

"I know..." I whispered.

"It's hard, I know but if you're done with Sasuke then be done with those feelings too."

"I'm trying but... I just can't." I shrugged.

"Can't or won't?" He asked.

"I - I don't know." I answered lamely.

"Hm. Want to know what I think."

"Uh, duh. You're all I have left, remember." I crossed my arms.

"I think you're thinking too much into this. People raise their children together or separately all the time, what is difficult in your case is that you were not very truthful until now but it all comes down to Shoda. I understand the history the two of you have or had, once, but you can co-parent with Sasuke, I see no problem with you having the same life as before. You aren't stuck with Sasuke, unless you want to be, Sakura."

"Of course I don't." I spat. Time cannot erase the pain that he caused; I'm allowed to be sour about it.

"Have you forgiven him for what happened back then?"

"No."

"Why not?" He lifted a dark brow.

"Because, I haven't." I argued.

"Do you love him? Still." He looked a little uncomfortable, don't ask me that!

"Why are you asking 21 questions?"

"Do you, Sakura?" He asked again.

Do I?

I sighed.

"I love him because of Shoda; even though our relationship ended Shoda was the light at the end. I can't hate him but I don't- I can't trust him, for Shoda's sake I'll co-parent to the best of my abilities but that's as far as my relationship goes with Sasuke."

"Does he know that?" He asked.

"We haven't talked about all that yet, our main concern was Shoda – Sasuke hasn't mentioned anything that didn't have to do with Shoda, he most likely knows where I stand."

"He won't unless you tell him." His gripped the small cup tightly in his hands. "If you don't want to be with him, Sakura, you need to be very clear on the matter." He looked slightly concerned.

"You know, you don't have to worry Sai." I said, softly. I took the coffee cup from his hands, and replaced it with my hand.

"You'll tell me if I do?" He squeezed my hand in his, his dark grey eyes pierced mine with such longing and adoration, it enticed a lovely blush that covered my cheeks.

"Sai." I whispered, biting my bottom lip.

"Don't forget about me, Sakura." He placed a kiss on the back of my hand; it left a tingle down my arm.

"I won't." I promised.

We made dinner plans before he placed a chaste kiss on my forehead, we went our separate ways in the front of the hospital but I looked forward to Friday night. It was going to be our first actual date that didn't happen during the daytime.

The rest of the day was a blur of Ms. Senju's yelling, the printer breaking down, two meetings about expanding the hospital and more yelling. The fast-paced hospital setting is great for passing time because before I knew it, the clock said 3:15 p.m. Shoda had to be picked up before 4:00.

Chimes

I had just finished making copies for the proposal for tomorrow's meeting when Naruto was calling me.

"NARUTO!" I yelled, a little overexcited but I missed him so much, I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear.

"SAKURA!" He yells louder than I do. I could just see that goofy grin on his face, ugh, my heart squeezed.

"I miss you." Some days I think about if I would have stayed, Naruto would have been there – he and Hinata would not have left my side, I sometimes feel guilty that I did not give them enough credit.

"We miss you too, Sakura." I could hear Hinata in the background, asking how I was.

"How are you?" Naruto finally asked, a lump was caught in my throat but I swallowed it down.

"Oh, I'm fine. How about you two? Is Hinata keeping you in check?" I joked.

"Always, Sakura!" I heard Hinata giggling. "That's my girl. I'm so proud." I laughed into the phone.

"The two of you are going to be the death of me." Naruto said.

"Oh, whatever." I replied.

"How's my favorite nephew?"

"He's great, today was the first day of Kindergarten. He was beyond ready and it was adorable getting to see him sit at those little desks with the other students." I gushed over Shoda.

"Oh, I know. Sasuke texted me a photo of him, smiling at his desk; the kid is Sasuke's twin besides your eyes, he's all Uchiha."

"Well, thanks Naruto." I said, irritated. "He's a Haruno too."

"Oh yeah. He mentioned that you didn't give him his last name." Naruto said, "Are you going to change that now?"

"I don't know we haven't really talked about it."

"Teme told me he ran away from you."

"Geez, you and Sasuke sure do gossip a lot." I teased.

"Ha ha very funny. I can't help it that yall's lives are more interesting right now. I mean I just found out I'm uncle so shoot me if I'm excited."

I laughed into the phone. "I had to get on to Shoda like I used to do you back in school."

"I bet you looked scary when you scolded him." Naruto teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"I was not that bad." I argued.

"My ass, Sakura. We used to shit bricks because of you."

I could not help the giggle that escaped my lips. "It's not my fault, y'all don't listen."

"When are you coming to visit?" He asked, I wasn't planning on visiting anytime soon.

"I don't know, Naruto. Work is hectic right now and I just started here." I could sense his disappointment.

"Sakura, we haven't seen you in five long years, you didn't forget that you have friends here that still care about you."

Way to make me feel bad, Naruto.

"If you're worried about Ino, she keeps to herself mostly." My heart stopped when he said her name, even if I deny it I still think of her from time to time. All the fun things we did together, when it was us against the world.

"It's not all about Ino." I sighed. "It's everyone. I've stayed away for long I know my parents are upset with me, and they are going to flip when they find out about Shoda. I'm not ready to face them yet."

"I'm sorry, Naruto." I added.

"My birthday is in two months, can you be ready by then? I want you there, and Shoda. HELL! Bring the new boyfriend too as long as you come." He begged.

"Sai, his name is Sai and he's a doctor I couldn't ask that of him. Plus, we haven't put a 'label' on us."

"You've got two months; surely you can win him over by then." I smiled.

"You aren't going to give up, are you?" I asked him.

"Giving up, isn't in my vocabulary Sakura, you know this." He bragged.

"Alright, I will try but no promises." I told him. "I have to go; I have to pick up Shoda from school."

"Oh, I could have sworn teme said he was picking him up earlier when I called him."

"What, no. He's not supposed too." I could feel my anxiety building.

"Oh, well. I got to go, bye Sakura."

"NAR-"

He quickly hung up.

Shit! I grabbed my purse and car keys, I left my office in a hurry; trying to call Sasuke on my way to the school but he didn't answer my calls. What if he tries to take Shoda! I called the school next, and Naruto was right, Sasuke picked him up at 3:00 p.m. and no one stopped him because he's Shoda's father.